


Love & MMA, Part Two: Then and Now

by DevlinGrace



Series: Love & MMA [2]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Pre-OT3 in part 3/(OT3 if you squint)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2018-05-15 17:14:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 220,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5793115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevlinGrace/pseuds/DevlinGrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to the continuation of Laura and Carmilla's story. Please keep in mind that most of the Ultimate Fighter stuff is pure speculation. I will be including some things that actually happened on the show but will be focusing on Carmilla. Carmilla AU, all human cast</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Six Weeks

Now

(Six weeks to go)

Carmilla woke slowly and pulled Laura's warm body closer. "Six weeks," she thought, "how the fuck am I going to live without you for six weeks?" She kissed her shoulder and then moved the hair from her neck so she could kiss just below her ear. She leaned back and gently pulled Laura to her back. "It's only six weeks," she chided herself, "really not that long."

But it _was_ a long time; she knew from personal experience how much could change in six weeks. She smiled; six weeks ago Laura lie bleeding in her arms, her life quite literally in her hands, but with no idea if she felt the same as she did. And now? Now she had no reason to believe that Laura wasn't as in love with her as she was with her. She smiled and ran her fingers across her forehead, along her jaw to her lips. She leaned in and kissed her softly, Laura slowly responding as she woke.

"What time is it?" Laura asked sleepily as they parted.

Carmilla glanced at the clock and groaned; "It's almost ten."

"Damn," Laura sighed and studied her. "You okay?"

"Would you believe me if I said yes?" she asked.

"Probably not," Laura replied and pushed Carmilla to her back. "It's going to be okay," she assured her.

"Yeah?" she countered uncertainly.

"I'm not going anywhere," Laura smiled, "Well, I'm going home to wait for you but…"

Carmilla interrupted her with a kiss.

"I know you're scared," Laura continued as she kissed along her jaw, "I am too," she admitted and pulled back to meet her eyes. "You know something that has always amazed me about Vancouver?" Laura asked, causing Carmilla to smile: she had an idea where Laura was going with this, as she'd heard it before, but she liked the analogy anyway. "It's amazing how, whenever it rains, the mountains completely disappear behind the clouds," she kissed her softly. "That's us, we're the mountains," she kissed her again, "even when you can't see us for the clouds you know we'll still be here, as strong and enduring as ever, when the sky clears."

Carmilla reversed their positions as she kissed her softly.

"You know you've used that one before?" she teased.

"I have?"

"Yup, on the way back from the cabin the first time," she reminded her.

"Why didn't you stop me then?"

"Because it's a beautiful analogy," she supplied and sighed. "I'll always be afraid of losing you," she confided and fought back tears. "I've already almost lost you once." Laura reached up and wiped away a tear. "So much can happen in six weeks," she swallowed as she found the nerve to admit her worst fear, "who's to say your feelings won't change? If Deanna…"

"Stop," Laura said forcefully as she rolled Carmilla to her back, laced their fingers and then held her hands over her head as she covered her body with her own. "I love you Carmilla Karnstein," she stated and kissed her deeply. "More than I thought I could ever love anyone or anything," she kissed her again as she slipped her leg between Carmilla's and pushed herself into her hip. "I don't want you to go, you know that I don't, but not because I'm afraid of losing you, I mean, I am, I always will be, but because you're such a big part of my life that I feel like you're taking a piece of me with you."

"Then we'll be okay," Carmilla said with a smile, "since I feel like I'm leaving a piece of me behind."

"I know a lot can change in six weeks, I mean, look at us," Laura said with a chuckle. "But how I feel? That's never going to change." She kissed her again as she let Carmilla's hands go so she could run her hands along her face. "It's only six weeks."

"Forty-two days," Carmilla countered.

"One thousand and eight hours," Laura continued with a smile, "or somewhere thereabouts."

Carmilla swapped their positions again.

"You know," she started thoughtfully, "some people would say that if our relationship can't survive six weeks apart, maybe we shouldn't be together."

"Then those people should shut up," Laura replied lightly, "but, maybe, it'll be good for us?"

"Maybe," she smiled crookedly as the alarm went off, "I need to get up and get ready. Take a shower with me?" Laura nodded. "God I'm going to miss you."

They took their time in the shower, washing each other amid kisses and sighs. Carmilla had gotten so used to showering with Laura any time she didn't it was starting to feel lonely. They didn't talk much once Laura convinced her to eat something, reminding her that there was a good chance she'd be doing something physical once she got to the gym. With just a half hour left to go the two settled on the couch to cuddle until it was time only to be disturbed by a knock on the door.

"But it's too soon," Laura lamented as Carmilla went to answer the door to find her best friend, Dark, and their new good friend, Danny, waiting.

"Hey," Dark said as he gave her a big hug, "I know you guys probably want to spend every last minute you can together alone but," he leaned back to meet her eyes, "Laura's not the only one who's going to miss you."

"No," she chuckled as she gave Danny a quick hug, "I'm glad you guys are here."

"Really?" Danny laughed. "Even me?"

"Surprisingly," Carmilla said seriously then grinned as she added, "yes." She returned to the couch and Laura's arms. "I'm happy Laura will have someone to keep her company on the way back to Vancouver."

"Yeah, and what about you, hmm?" Laura questioned and kissed the top of her head. "I think, once they announce the tournament bracket, it would be a good idea to befriend someone you probably won't have to fight."

"That seems an arbitrary reason to choose someone as a friend," Carmilla joked.

"Easier than having to fight said friend," Danny countered.

"True," Carmilla sighed. "I don't know, I might just stick to myself," she shrugged, "or play it by ear, we'll see."

"Babe?" Laura said and nudged her to sit up. "Don't isolate yourself in there. I know you're used to depending on only yourself but haven't you learned, yet, that you don't have to?"

"I'm starting to," she replied with a smile and a soft kiss. "But it's not like I'll be able to tell anyone what's really bothering me."

"Yes, and what's that midget?" Dark asked.

"Deanna," she stated.

"Look," he said and went to sit in front of her, taking her hands he continued; "if it makes you feel any better we've all agreed to not leave the gym, unless we have to, until you get back."

"That's not…" she started.

"Necessary?" Danny supplied.

"Will it make you worry less to know we're doing everything we can to stay safe?" Laura asked.

"I guess," she sighed, "but it doesn't seem fair that you're all putting your lives on hold for my peace of mind."

"All our lives are already on hold, Carm, you know that," Dark offered gently. "What's six weeks of isolation if we can finally be rid of her?"

"I don't see what…"

"If you can focus more, you'll do better and people will be more invested in your story," Laura explained.

"I suppose," Carmilla replied and laid back into her arms.

"Besides," Laura continued, "I have two crazy kittens to keep me occupied and a book to ghost write; don't worry, I'll hardly notice I haven't left the gym."

Carmilla couldn't help but smile at the mention of their two rambunctious Bengals, Trill and Luna. They'd considered keeping the names her Uncle had given them; Lucky for the black one and Monkey for the beautiful leopard spotted kitten, but after getting to know them, they decided on new names. Luna had really taken to Laura and so she named her after one of her favorite Harry Potter characters because, as she'd explained, just like Luna Lovegood, the kitten Luna, was really smart, a little crazy and just wanted to be friends with everyone. Dark had also pointed out that Luna could be short for lunatic, which also applied. As for the little black kitten? He'd taken to Carmilla; following her around and even climbing her like a tree if she wasn't paying him enough attention. She'd named him Trill as he was a real talker. She'd found him, on more than one occasion, staring out the window chirping at the birds. At night the two felines showed their preferences as well; Luna curling up on Laura, Trill on Carmilla, the minute they settled in to go to sleep. They'd tried locking them out of the bedroom at night, but discovered very quickly that was a bad idea. Being that the bedroom was soundproof they had no idea the havoc the two had created while they slept. After picking up the paper towel the two had gotten off the counter and spread around the apartment, they spent the rest of the day doing their best to kitten-proof.

Another knock at the door drew her from her thoughts as she looked at her watch; it was time to say goodbye. "I'll get the door," Dark offered with a pointed look to Danny who, taking the hint, followed him to the door and out into the hallway.

"I have something to give you before you go," Laura said quickly and rummaged through her stuff for a nicely wrapped gift.

"You've got five minutes!" Dark called, prompting her to tear the wrapping paper off.

She smiled at what she found inside; a dark green leather bound journal, the same Celtic knot they'd had tattooed on their wrists embossed on the cover, along with a whole box of decent pens.

"I got one for myself too," Laura explained as she motioned her towards the door, "I thought, you know, when we're looking at the moon each night, that we could write to each other?"

"I love it," she said fondly and pulled her into her arms, "won't make me miss you any less, mind."

Laura pulled her into a deep kiss, the two so lost in it that neither noticed the other was crying.

"Miss Karnstein?" an unfamiliar voice called; "We really need to be going."

"Be right there," she called back once they'd broken the kiss. They both wiped the tears from each other's faces as they leaned their foreheads together. "We'll be okay."

"Better than," Laura affirmed and kissed her one last time. "Now," she said firmly as she took her hand and led her to the door, "no more crying," she ordered.

"Same for you," Carmilla teased.

"I'm not the one who's probably going to be filmed later," Laura reasoned as she opened the door and looked to the man who had come to pick up Carmilla. "Can we walk her to the car?"

"I suppose," he shrugged, "as long as we go now."

Dark and Danny grabbed her bags and followed the three of them out. Carmilla hugged Dark and Danny first before pulling Laura into her arms. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," Laura replied and kissed her softly. "Now go on," she prodded, "go kick some ass."

"I'll do my best," she replied with a smile. "Be careful? All of you? Watch each other's backs?"

"We'll be fine," Danny assured her as she placed a hand on Laura's shoulder; "and you're going to be awesome."

Laura kissed her, lingering until she heard the driver clear his throat.

"You have to go," Laura sighed. "See you in six weeks?"

"Forty-two days," Carmilla continued.

"I'll be counting all one thousand and eight hours until you're back in my arms," Laura said, her voice showing the strain of holding back her tears. "Go, before I don't let you."

Carmilla chuckled and kissed her one last time before turning and getting into the SUV behind her before she lost the will to leave. She climbed into the back seat, did up her seatbelt and then pulled her knees to her chest in an attempt to stem the threatening tears.

"Been together long?" the driver asked conversationally as he pulled away.

"Six weeks today," she replied quietly and turned to watch Laura and her friend's shrinking forms. Just as they were about to turn the corner she saw Laura crumble into Danny's arms. "Seems longer," she amended as she buried her face into her knees and cried.

The driver left her to her misery for a little while before speaking again; "Um, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but we are shooting today."

"Right," she sniffed and wiped the tears from her face. "Will I have time to go to the bathroom? Splash some water on my face?"

"You should," he replied and pulled into the gym's parking lot. He turned off the car and turned in his seat to meet her eyes. "It's only six weeks," he offered.

"Yeah," she sighed as she tried to gather herself, "a lot can happen in six weeks, though."

* * *

Then

(Six Weeks Ago)

Laura woke alone to the bright lights of the hospital. As her head cleared from the anesthetic she realised where she was and remembered what had happened. She groaned; everything hurt. She looked to the cast on her arm; "Damn it," she thought, "there goes the Ultimate Fighter."

She laid her head back on the pillow and sighed. It was probably for the best, she'd still hadn't figured out how to tell Carmilla the truth, and if she'd been accepted, the least she'd had to have explain was how old she really was. "Shit," she muttered hoarsely as bits and pieces of the day came back to her; "I told her."

She was drawn from her musings when the door opened to admit a lab coat wearing older gentleman.

"Good to see you're awake, Miss Hollis," he greeted as he went to check her vitals. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been beaten with a very large bat," she croaked out, her throat hurting from having a tube down it during surgery. "Water?" she requested.

He nodded and poured her a glass from a nearby jug. She swallowed down a few mouthfuls and then looked to the doctor to find him studying her.

"Where's Carm?" she asked; she'd been surprised to wake alone.

"She'll be waking up soon," he replied and looked to her chart.

"Waking up?" she asked in concern. "Is she okay?"

"You can drop the act, Miss Hollis, I know who you are," he stated flatly and looked up from her chart.

"I'm sorry?" she asked, feigning confusion.

"My son was one of the EMTs that responded to the lake," he supplied as he continued to regard her, his distrust obvious. "He called me, I called Dark, Dark called Frank and Frank called me."

"So you know," she sighed and shook her head. "You didn't answer my question; is Carm okay?"

"She's fine," he replied, his tone softening slightly as he asked; "Wait, you actually care about her, don't you?"

"I do," she admitted and looked down at her cast, "even before she saved my life."

"Yes," he replied wearily, "she did at that."

She looked up to meet his eyes and noticed how tired he seemed.

"Why is she just waking up?" she asked.

"She's borderline hyperglycemic," he replied, "but I'm sure you already know that."

"Still doesn't explain why," she looked around for a clock. "Wait, how long was I in surgery?"

"Just over four hours," he answered to her shock. "You saw what she was like when Dark got hurt?"

"Not directly, but I heard about it," she replied.

"Dark told me how much she cares about you," he said quietly, "Given the basket case she was when he got hurt, I thought it prudent to keep her asleep until you woke up."

"But she has a fight in two weeks," she reminded him.

"I am aware," he said tiredly, "and that, aside from who you are, is why Frank called me," he smiled and shook his head. "She was given a mild dose of Ativan at the lake and then kept on Gravol until you came out of surgery. She'll be on pure saline now and should be clean by the time she fights."

"Ativan isn't restricted," Laura pointed out and looked down to her cast again. "Why was the surgery so long?" She looked up. "I know it was a bad break but it wasn't _that_ bad."

He rubbed his face and then perched himself on the edge of her bed.

"It wasn't just a 'bad break'," he started. "If Carmilla wasn't such a skilled First Aid Attendant you'd have never made it to the ambulance in time, let alone the hospital." He stood again, took an x-ray from the chart and held it up to the light. "You cleanly broke your Radius and fractured your Ulna," he sighed and met her eyes again. "You severed one of the two main arteries in your arm; if Carmilla hadn't applied a pressure point as quickly as she did," he shook his head again. "We managed to repair that one while we waited for your x-rays however what we didn't realize that the other major artery in your arm was trapped by the broken bone itself. When we reset it…"

"I almost bled out," Laura interjected quietly and looked to him. "How long?"

"I'm sorry?" he asked.

"How long was I dead?" she supplied.

"Less than a minute," he said as he paled. "How did you know?"

"Because it was the second time today," she provided. "I don't know what happened at the lake but I remember a really bright light and a weight on my chest," she smiled as tears welled in her eyes. "I woke to hear Carmilla saying that she'd failed to keep me safe."

"That's ironic," he said with a small smile. "Why did you run after her anyway?"

"We're being followed," she confided, "from what we know so far it's me he's following and he's very dangerous. I saw his car pull up just as we headed into the woods. I don't know the area very well and I guess, the longer I stood there waiting for her to come back, the more worried I got that he'd found a way to get ahead of us and hurt her," she laughed. "I know, don't say it, ironic."

"Will you tell her?"

"That I died twice today?" she questioned.

"No, that you've been watching over her and helping her and her brother all this time?" he corrected.

"I can't," she sighed. "If she takes it badly and never wants to see me again," she shrugged, "what good am I to her then?" she said sadly. "I never," she sniffed. "This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be her friend, help her achieve her goal and keep her safe," she sighed. "She's so close, I can't, won't be the one to mess it up for her."

"You know the longer you wait the worse it'll be when she finds out," he prodded.

"Or maybe," she countered quietly, "she'll forgive my lies when she realizes all we've done to protect her." She met his eyes. "Doctor, please don't tell her that I died on the table."

"She's a smart girl," he said fondly, "she'll figure it out."

"I know," she sighed. "Tell her, if she asks, that I almost bled out, but not that I died. She doesn't need to know the rest."

"You have a flair for understatement, Miss Hollis, as there's quite a lot she doesn't know about you," he said seriously; it was clear to Laura she wasn't the only one in the room who cared for Carmilla. "Look," he smiled, "I'll do what I can to keep your secrets, namely," he showed her her chart and the fact that her birthdate had been altered, "your charts. There is another official copy but this way your wristband and all the labels have the corrected date. I think it best, however, if we get the two of you home tonight as, the longer we try to hide the truth, the more chance she'll find out. Yes?"

"Yes, and thank you Doctor Coughlin," she answered gratefully.

"You needn't thank me," he replied as he made for the door, "I have my own reasons for wanting to help Carmilla," he admitted. "Things I should have done years ago that would have made your role unnecessary."

"But then I wouldn't met the love of my life," she countered. "And I do love her, Doctor," she smiled, "and I'll do whatever I have to, even if she never forgives me, to make sure she gets the justice she deserves." He smiled and nodded. "Will you test me for the parasite?"

"The test is already ordered," he replied. "Now get some rest, I'm going to go talk her and she'll be in a bit."

"Did you call my father?" she asked before he could get out the door.

"I did," he replied with a frown, "he told me to tell you 'he wasn't anywhere near you, you twit'," he shrugged. "I take it that means he was there too?"

"He was and must have seen Carmilla had everything in hand," she blushed, "or he'd have rushed in whether he should have been there or not," she shook her head. "He's a little over-protective."

"Given your career choice and your hobby?" he teased. "Can't say that I blame him."

"Yeah well, if he didn't want me to be a fighter he never should have signed me up for Krav Maga at age eight," she joked.

"I don't know, Miss Hollis, I suspect you'd have been a fighter with or without extensive Martial Arts training," he laughed.

"Just how much did Frank tell you?"

"I was worried," he confided, "and he sent me you and your father's resumes to reassure me that you are both more than capable of protecting her once things start to escalate."

"It's already started to," she told him and watched him pale again. "We have no way to prove it, yet, but we think she's paying and aiding the man who's following me."

"So why hasn't he been arrested already?"

"We're still trying to get proof," she supplied defensively. "It's a complicated game we're playing Doctor and Deanna can't find out until it's far too late for her to do anything about it."

"I'll do what I can to help," he offered again.

"Thanks," she sighed and laid her head back on the pillow again as he left.

"How did this ever get so complicated?" she wondered. "When you fell in love with your 'assignment'," she answered herself. Her self-chastising was cut short though as the many drugs in her system caused her to nod off until she was gently shaken awake by a lab technician a short time later.

She was watching him take a third vial of blood when she heard the door open, turning when she heard a soft; "Hey."

"Hey," Laura replied and smiled.

"Can you hold this for her?" the lab technician asked. Carmilla nodded and went to hold the gauze on Laura's right arm. "Thanks, the doctor will be in a few minutes."

"Thanks," Carmilla and Laura replied together.

Laura studied Carmilla as she watched the lab technician leave; she was moving very slowly and obviously trying to hide how much pain she was in.

"You okay?" Laura asked.

"Me?" Carmilla laughed as she took Laura's hand with her free hand; "Have you seen you?"

"I'm not the one with the fight of a lifetime in a couple of weeks," Laura replied seriously; "I'd never forgive myself if..."

"Stop," Carmilla interrupted; "I'll be okay and so will you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Carmilla replied with a smile; "Laura," she sighed and Laura held her breath while she waited for her to continue. "I think," she looked down a moment and then up again; "I think we should stop pretending."

"I knew I was pushing it," Laura said sadly and tried to take her hand away.

"Laura, no," Carmilla rushed and held her hand all the tighter; "I mean," she shook her head and smiled; "I know I come with a lot of baggage but," she took a deep breath; "I don't want you to pretend to be my girlfriend anymore cause I want you to _be_ my girlfriend," she said in a rush; "For real," she added.

Laura could hardly believe her ears; it was she wanted, yes, but it made everything so much more complicated.

"Carm?" Laura said softly and waited for her to meet her eyes; "I stopped pretending a while ago."

"Yeah?" Carmilla asked, smiling when Laura nodded. "Me too." Laura tried to pull her closer; "Oh baby I've wanted to kiss you again ever since the airport," she smiled as Laura felt her cheeks redden along with Carmilla's; "But if I kiss you now I won't want to stop and we're bound to be interrupted, again," she leaned forward and kissed her forehead instead; "and I probably taste like an ashtray cause I just had my first smoke in over a year," she admitted as she pulled away.

"I don't care," Laura countered.

"Well I do," she smiled and kissed her cheek; "I've waited this long to really kiss you," she whispered into her ear; "I can wait a little longer to make sure it's perfect."

"Carm?" Laura said softly; "You know the thing about baggage?"

"What's that?" Carmilla asked as she ran her fingers along Laura's cheek.

"It gets lighter the more people you let help carry it," she replied seriously and hoped that when Carmilla found out just how long she'd been sharing the load, that she'd forgive all the lies she knew she'd have to continue to tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Surprised? I hope so. I'll be following the same format; 'Now' will be Carm's point of view and 'Then' will be Laura's although they won't always be in the same order but I'll try my best to keep the confusion to a minimum. We will, eventually, see Laura's point of view in the present but that doesn't happen for a quite a while.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes but it's late and I'd rather post it with a few mistakes than make you wait any longer. And really? I've been dying to share this all with you since I came up with the idea.


	2. Here and Now

Now

(Six Weeks to Go)

Carmilla made her way to the bathroom as soon as she entered the building and had dropped off her bags in the lineup of fighters waiting to have them checked for contraband. She splashed some cold water on her face and then studied herself in the mirror.

"Get it together, Karnstein, you can do this," she told herself.

She wandered back out into the holding area and rejoined the lineup. When finally it was her turn she lifted her bags onto the table for them to check.

"Only three packs of smokes for six weeks?" the woman checking her bag questioned.

"It's already more than I need as I only plan on having one a day," she replied.

"Fair enough," the woman replied with a smile. "You're good to go, good luck."

"Thanks," she answered and gathered her things to wait with the others. She looked around and counted, sixteen fighters; they must be waiting for Dana.

A few of the fighters seemed to know each other while others stood making awkward conversation with women they'd just met. She recognized a few of them; Tecia Torres, Joanne Calderwood and Carla Esparza, the former Invicta strawweight champion, among them. The women she didn't recognize she decided not to concern herself with too much. She noticed that several of them seemed to have recognized her and were giving her odd looks but didn't have time to question it as they were ushered into the gym proper.

She mimicked the other fighters and took a look around the gym as they made their way over to where Dana White stood. It was big, sure, but her gym was nicer. But then again, maybe she was biased. She, along with everyone else listened intently as Dana welcomed them and gave them the plan for the day. Once he was done Carmilla tentatively raised her hand in the air to ask a question.

"Karnstein, right?" he asked as he acknowledged her.

"Yes, sir," she replied with a nod, "I was wondering if we're going to get a chance to warm up first?"

Dana looked to the coaches on each side of him before answering.

"She's got a point, mind losing half an hour?" They both shook their heads. "Alright, after you all warm up we'll split the group in half so the coaches can get to know you a little before they make their team picks."

Carmilla, unlike most of the other fighters had come ready to work out so grabbed her wrist wraps and gloves from her bag, threw her bags off to the side, dropped her wraps and gloves next to closest treadmill and was already at a quick jog before most of others had even started.

She let her mind wander as she upped the speed and took stock of her cast mates. There were a lot of things she was going to miss; first and foremost, Laura and everything that came with her. She wasn't sure how she was going to sleep alone and the thought of Laura alone in their big bed at home almost brought her to tears. She shook her head and upped the speed again.

Carmilla had learned long ago that there were things worth stressing about and things that weren't. Yes, she could worry herself sick thinking about what was going on at home but there was no point. She couldn't do anything more than trust that Laura, and everyone else, could handle whatever came their way. No, the only thing she could control was here and now. While they might be split into teams, MMA was an individual sport. Yes, good coaches helped but only as much as she was able to learn from them. It was up to her to perform, no one else. Unfortunately she didn't only have to perform in the cage; for her plan to work she had to tell her story and tell it well. She had to make people care if she was ever to see Deanna brought to justice.

She was abruptly torn from her thoughts as a towel landed across her hands. She hit the stop button and stepped off the treadmill as she sought out who had thrown the towel.

"Time's up," an Aussie accent announced.

"Oh," she smiled in her direction, "Thanks," she held out her hand after wiping it on the towel. "Bec Hyatt, right?"

"Yeah, and you're Carmilla Karnstein," Bec answered as she shook her hand. "A bunch of us were already in town a couple of weeks ago and got to see your fight."

"Ah," she chuckled as they made their way over to the others, "that explains the weird looks I was getting."

"Naw, just surprised to see you here so soon after two great fights in two weeks," Bec confided.

Dana motioned the fighters to quieten and then separated the group in two. She got lucky and was in the same group as Bec. She'd done her research on the few fighters she thought might be on the show and Bec was someone whose heart in a fight she admired. Not many fighters took short notice fights, let alone for a belt, but she had and had held her own. She also knew a little of Bec's background; the Aussie had recently gotten out of abusive relationship. It might not be the nicest of common ground, but if she was to tell anyone her story, Bec might be a sympathetic ear.

Her group was paired with Anthony Pettis and his coaches first. He explained that he'd come around and talk to each of them as his team put them through fitness and grappling drills. Once the fitness part was done the eight women paired up, Carmilla and Bec choosing each other, and started grappling on the mat. Carmilla was holding her own, but only because she suspected it was also a weakness of Bec's.

"Hold up," Anthony interrupted them, "Karnstein, right?" she nodded. "You stole my move."

"With all due respect," she replied evenly, "mine was an elbow and it ended the fight."

"Right," he nodded crisply, "don't want you on my team." He looked to Bec. "Hyatt?" She nodded. "What team you want?"

"If that's how you treat people, not yours," she replied.

"Done," he replied and left.

"What was that about?" Bec laughed.

"Ego?" she shrugged. "Don't know, don't care," she nodded in his direction. "The only person who controls how well I do in here, is me." She looked back to Bec. "You didn't have to do that."

"He was being a dick," she replied, "I don't want to train with him."

"Yes," she thought, "but we might end up with him if Melendez picks our opponent." But Bec didn't know that. "Oh well, I'll deal."

Soon enough the coaches traded off and immediately she liked Gilbert better. He took the women into the ring and had them do striking drills while he asked them questions. Carmilla tried to answer his questions as best she could but she was concentrating more on hitting the pads as hard as she could; she wanted to make an impression, not just on her perspective coach, but on the other fighters. She had no idea how many of them had seen her fight with Rose, however she wanted to leave little doubt in any of their minds that she belonged there and deserved her ranking.

Finally the coaches were done and went off to confer with their team about who they wanted. Carmilla and the other fighters waited patiently, none of them talking, and many of them looking tired. She smiled and took a drink of water; "Wow," she thought, "if that's all it takes to tire them out, I might just do okay."

Dana and the coaches rejoined them and the little bit of whispering died down as Dana went to speak.

"So things are happening a little differently this season," he began. "Since this is a tournament for the belt you've all been ranked," he paused as that sank in. "What this means is that, once a coach picks a fighter, the opposite team automatically gets the fighter they're to face in the first round," he looked around and seeing that some didn't understand, explained further; "In a tournament of this style, the fighter ranked number one, will fight the sixteenth seeded fighter, and so on." He waited until the muttering died down. "We'll flip a coin, winner gets to choose first fighter or the first fight," he looked to the coaches who both nodded and watched as the coin flew through the air and then landed Melendez side up. "First fighter or first fight?"

"First fight," Gilbert Melendez replied.

"Alright," Dana said as he looked to Pettis, "you get first fighter."

Pettis looked at his list a moment; "Carla," he announced.

Dana looked at his list; "Carla is ranked number one and will be fighting number sixteen, Angela Hill.

Carmilla wasn't surprised at the pick, or their rankings. Carla was the former Invicta champion and she'd never heard of Angela.

"I'll take Tecia Torres," Melendez interrupted her thoughts.

"Tecia is ranked third and will be fighting number fourteen seed, Randa Markos," Dana supplied and again the two fighters faced off in front of him.

"My next pick is Joanne Calderwood," Pettis informed them.

"Joanne is ranked second and will be facing off against number fifteen seed Emily Kagan," Dana stated.

"I'll take Carmilla Karnstein," Melendez said, smiling at the look of disbelief she was sure was on her face; she hadn't expected to be picked so early. Judging by the whispers among the fighters, she wasn't the only one.

"Carmilla is ranked seventh," more muttering was heard at Dana's announcement, "and will be fighting number ten seed Alex Chambers."

As Alex came to join her in front of Dana and faced off she chanced a glance at the other fighters, many of whom were still whispering. Only Bec caught her eye and smiled. She met Alex's eyes and saw someone who was trying to act tougher than she was. Carmilla smiled, shook her hand and wished her luck before going to stand beside Tecia.

She watched as the rest of the fighters were sorted, pleased when Bec ended up on her team a few picks later, Pettis having picked her opponent.

Once all the picks were done Dana announced that there would be two performance bonuses of twenty-five thousand, as well as a fight of the season bonus, with both fighters getting paid. Then, just to up the stakes a little more, as if the World Championship wasn't enough, the winner would get their very own, brand new, custom built Harley Davidson motorcycle. He waited for the murmuring to die down again and then looked to Melendez to pick the first fight; Torres versus Markos.

Dana offered a few more words of encouragement and then sent them off to settle into their home of the next six weeks. As she and her teammates piled into one of the vans, she sighed; that was another thing she'd have to cope with, living with fifteen other women, in one house. Not to mention the ever present camera crew.

"Oh well," she thought and looked out the window, "I knew what I was getting into."

She and the others made their way into the house and chose their rooms. Already Carmilla was getting annoyed being around so many people so decided to stay on her bunk and decorate her wall with the various pictures she'd brought. She smiled as she placed them one by one on the wall. She had a few pictures of her and Laura, and several more of her friends holding signs of encouragement. She wasn't just here for herself, no, she was here for all of them. If she managed to get Deanna brought to justice they'd all be free.

Eventually she made her way downstairs for something to eat and to socialize. In reality she was just biding her time until nine o'clock when she could find a quiet spot outside to look at the moon and think of Laura. She made herself something light to eat and sought out Bec's company on the patio. They didn't really talk much, just listened to the various conversations around them.

Carmilla started when the alarm on her watch went off at eight forty five, causing Bec beside her to jump as well.

"Got somewhere to be?" Bec joked.

"Come with me and I'll explain," she offered as she stood. As they ascended the stairs she explained; "My girlfriend, Laura, and I made a promise; every night at nine o'clock, no matter what we're doing, we'll try to go outside, look at the moon, and think about each other." She looked to Bec to gauge her reaction as they entered their bedroom. "We expanded on it a bit," she continued as she took a cigarette out. "We both smoke when we're stressed," she took out her journal, "and she sprung this one on me this morning," she said as she showed her the journal. "We're going to write to each other."

"You sound like you miss her already," Bec observed.

"We've barely spent any time apart in the time we've been together," she replied, "I feel like a piece of me is missing," she admitted sadly.

"I feel the same way about my kids," Bec offered, "We'll help each other through it, yeah?"

"Thanks," Carmilla replied sincerely and offered the Aussie a hug, "nice to know I've got a friend in here."

"Do you want company?" Bec asked as they parted.

"Maybe another time," Carmilla replied; she really wanted some alone time with her thoughts but knew that having Bec join her at some point would be a good way to introduce her story.

They wandered back downstairs together, splitting up as Carmilla went to grab a Corona. She opened it a put a couple slices of lime inside before heading outside to find a spot where she could both see the moon and have enough light to write by. She wandered out towards the pool, scanning the sky for the moon as she went. Once she'd found it she looked back to the pool's edge, found a lounge chair and went to drag it next to a light. She settled herself into her chair and tried to ignore the camera crew about ten feet away. She lit her smoke, inhaled and closed her eyes as she leaned her head back against the chair.

As she exhaled she felt two fat tears roll down her cheeks. Carmilla sighed and wiped them from her face. She looked up to the moon, her vision still watery and thought; "I hope you're looking at the moon, baby, I miss you so much." She felt her chest tighten and suddenly felt as though she was on the verge of breaking out in all out sobs. She looked down and rubbed her chest with her free hand, took a deep, but shaky, breath before taking another drag of her smoke and looking back to the moon. "We'll be okay," she reassured herself, "we have to be."

Then

(Six Weeks Ago)

Laura woke in roughly the same position she'd fallen asleep in; on her right side, her broken arm resting on her yellow pillow, her head on Carmilla's right arm and her left arm around her waist. She turned her head, kissed the inside of Carmilla's elbow and then carefully moved the arm from around her waist. Which, given she was using her left, was not an easy task. She sighed as she realized it wasn't about to get any easier as she awkwardly rolled to her back. She meant to roll to her other side next so that she could watch Carmilla sleep, but between her complaining bladder and how hard it had been to get to her back in the first place, she decided to get up instead. Which, of course, was another trial when she sat up and had to wait several minutes for the room to stop spinning.

She grabbed her sling from the bedside table, slipped it over her head and adjusted her arm inside it. She sighed deeply as she stood and then waited for the room to stop spinning again. "Fucking Oxy," she thought and made a mental note to call the Doc and request something weaker; she couldn't do her job if she was too stoned to think straight. She slowly and quietly made her way out of the bedroom, closed the door behind her and then crossed the apartment to the other bathroom. It wasn't even five yet and she didn't want to wake Carmilla.

She washed her right hand the best she could and then studied her reflection in the mirror. She looked like she felt; like she'd been hit by a train while stoned out of her tree. She could barely distinguish her eye color her pupils were so dilated. She shook her head as she dampened a washcloth with cold water and used it to wipe her face.

"Well," she thought, "no point trying to go back to sleep."

She went into the spare bedroom, slipped on a robe and grabbed her phone. She looked for her keys before remembering they were in her bag which was still in the Jeep. Laura walked back into the living room and spotted Carmilla's keys on the table beside the door. She briefly considered checking on her sleeping girlfriend but decided not to when she realized she probably wouldn't want to leave her side.

"My girlfriend," she smiled and shook her head; she wasn't looking forward to talking to her Dad. He'd been against her getting directly involved from the beginning but she'd argued, that the more desperate Deanna becomes, the more danger Carmilla would be in. While they'd had great success the last couple of years helping and guiding Carmilla without her, but more importantly, Deanna's knowledge, Laura reasoned if she were to become a part of Carmilla's inner circle she'd be in a far better position to keep her safe. Though, granted, she'd gotten far closer than any of them had expected.

Laura made her way into her bedroom once she reached her apartment and started throwing everything she wanted to take to Carmilla's on the bed. She let her task distract her, for a little while, from the call she had to make to her father. She was saved further procrastinating, however, when her phone starting playing, 'Taking Care of Business'.

"Hey Dad," she greeted.

"Hey honey, how you feeling?" he asked.

It wasn't the first thing she expected him to say, but she'd take it.

"Not too bad," she replied, "a little sore but the Oxy I took before bed still has me a little stoned."

"Want to tell me what the hell you were thinking yesterday?" he questioned calmly.

"I saw Bruce pull up as we were heading into the bush," she explained. "I was worried he somehow got ahead of us."

"Goddamn it, Laura, you need to start trusting me," he said with an edge. "I might not be as young as you but I also wasn't alone out there. We had him in our sights the entire time; if he'd so much as come close to either of you we'd have taken him down in a heartbeat."

"What aren't you telling me?" she queried. "Why are you so worried about this guy?"

"We figured out who he is," he replied reluctantly, "and he's far more dangerous than we realized. He's got a list of warrants for his arrest as long as my arm. Everything from petty theft to aggravated rape," he took a deep breath. "He murdered his last victim."

"Crap," Laura muttered. "We can't wait for proof any longer."

"What do you suggest?"

"I think it's time to talk to Rick," she started. "He's helped us before, with things about to get worse, maybe it's time to bring him into the fold. Besides, Frank already has a working relationship with him and Carm trusts his judgement." She considered their next move before sharing it with her father. "I have an idea," she said thoughtfully, "you're going to mention wanting to go to the Aquarium tomorrow and we're going to make sure that Carm notices him. Once she does she'll probably have the cameras checked around the gym and realize he's been following us since shortly after we picked Will up at the airport."

"Speaking of which," he interrupted, "Frank called to warn me about a few reporters already camping out at YVR."

"Seriously?" she sighed. She'd meant what she'd told Carmilla the night before; it was time to face the press head on. The only problem was, every time they did, Laura was more exposed as well. It was only a matter of time before someone recognized her. "Maybe we can use it to our advantage," she offered. "Have Frank call Carmilla to warn her about the vultures and tell her you're now flying into Abbotsford."

"She'll probably notice Bruce following you on the highway," he deduced, the pride clear in his voice, "that's perfect."

"Let's give Rick until Tuesday to get everything set up and if she hasn't figured it out by then you can mention it to her," Laura further suggested. "I'll probably have to see the Doc by then anyway so we'll have an excuse to go downtown."

"Yeah, about that."

"What?" she questioned.

"He said he shouldn't have released you last night," he admitted sadly. "You sure you're feeling okay?"

"No," she sighed, "which is the other reason I want to wait until Tuesday. I doubt I can go without the meds for at least a couple of days but I should be able to manage by then."

"I'm worried about you sweetie, about what's going to happen when you tell her the truth, or worse, she finds out from someone else," he confided.

"Who's going to tell her?" she countered. "You? Dark? Frank?" She sighed. "We've spent just as much time covering our tracks as we have actually helping them. The only way she's going to find out is if we tell her."

"And you know that you can't, not yet," he reminded her.

"I'm not an idiot," she replied dryly.

"I know honey, but I also know it can't be easy," he prodded.

"Lying to the woman I love every single day?" she answered edgily. "Sucks."

"I did try to warn you."

"I know," she sighed. "But Dad? If, in the end, she hates me and never wants to speak to me or see me again," she smiled, "at least I'll have had this time with her and I'll always remember how happy I was. As long as we accomplish what we set out to do, I can live with the sacrifice."

"You know what I think?" he asked. "I think, if she loves you even a fraction of how much you love her, that she'll find a way to forgive you."

"I hope so."

"If she's anything like her mother," he replied, "she will." He let the silence stretch a moment before changing the topic. "I need to get moving if I'm going to get things sorted out and get out to Abbotsford."

"Yeah, me too," she answered. "Daddy?"

"Yeah pumpkin?" he replied affectionately.

"Thanks for not giving me too hard a time about this, about me and Carm, I mean."

"Do you love her?" he asked.

"I think I've been in love with her since the first time I laid eyes on her," she blushed.

"That's definitely something you need to include when you tell her the truth," he suggested, "and it certainly explains why you've always been so passionate about all this." He paused a moment. "Just, don't let it cloud your judgement. You can't protect her if you run off half-cocked and get yourself hurt," he sighed, "again." He chuckled. "I still can't believe she managed to carry you out at a jog."

"Yes, and she's paying for it now," she replied ruefully. "She won't be able to train for at least a few days."

"Is she injured or just sore?" he asked, concerned.

"Sore," she replied. "And that's the most frustrating part of all this," she admitted. "She was making such amazing progress and now I can't train with her anymore."

"You can still teach her," he countered.

"Not without her figuring out how much Martial Arts training I really have," she differed. "It doesn't matter; she's so convinced Danny's the mole, I doubt she'll have much trouble with her."

"She called me this morning, Danny I mean," he informed her.

"What did she have to say?"

"More of the same shit whoever called last night said," he replied. "She does seem to care about you though."

"I know," Laura sighed, "but there isn't much I can do about it right now. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Sure, honey, take care," he replied and hung up.

She looked over her shoulder and saw how much stuff she'd accumulated to take up to Carmilla's and realized it would take far too long to carry it all herself. She dialed the gym's number in hopes that either Dark or Kirsch could give her a hand.

"Hey midget two, why you up so early?" Dark questioned.

"Midget two?" she laughed.

"You know, like 'thing one and thing two'?" he joked.

"Brat!" she teased. "Can you or Kirsch come up to help me with some stuff I want to take up to Carm's?"

"Fucking dykes and their U-Hauls," he teased. "Yeah, I'm just helping Kirsch open the gym, give me five minutes."

"Thanks sweetie," she replied warmly.

She went to the kitchen to grab a couple bags and a larger one for her arm so she could take a shower. She'd gotten most of her stuff packed up before she heard Dark call a hello from the living room.

"In here!" she responded.

"Wow!" he remarked. "You got a lot done for a one-armed midget," he joked.

"Not the first time I've broken an arm," she admitted and sat on the bed. "I broke my arm in a pillow fight on the day of New Year's Eve when I was ten," she laughed at his look of disbelief. "I'm serious, hit me straight on and I had a hairline fracture," she explained. "My parents didn't think it could possibly be broken so it took a few days before they took me to get it checked," she shook her head. "I was supposed to get a small cast but as the doctor was putting it on he turned my arm and I screamed," she shrugged, "ended up with a cast almost as big as this one but on my right arm."

"You really are a clutz, aren't you?" he teased.

"You're not much better," she sighed sadly.

"Hey, you okay?"

"No," she admitted with a sniff. "Dark, there's something I need to tell you," she started and looked down. "I was, um, I was there the night you stepped off the Granville Bridge."

"What?!" he exclaimed in shock.

"I was trying to work up the nerve to talk to you, despite my father's wishes, and I," she shook her head and wiped away a tear, "I couldn't get to you in time."

"You the reason the ambulance showed up so quickly?" She nodded. "Thank you."

"But I could have..."

"Laura, stop," he interrupted, "that accident was no one's fault. If you'd managed to grab hold of me I would have just taken you with me and then neither of us would be here now for Carm." He smiled and put an arm around her shoulder. "Besides, you still saved my life," she looked at him skeptically. "You got me help when no one else was around."

"I guess," she sighed again.

"Laura, look," he prodded and waited for her to meet his eyes, "it was only you and your Dad back then, right?" She nodded. "Then I was lucky you were there at all."

"Dark?"

"Yeah midget two?"

"Thanks," she slipped her arm around his waist and squeezed, "for being a friend, for helping, for not telling Carm the truth."

"First off, I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for her and Will," he replied warmly, "and second, I won't tell Carm until you're ready to. I get that you're scared that you'll lose her when she finds out. Hell, I'm terrified of what she's going to do to me when she finds out that I already knew and was helping you," he laughed and shook his head. "I love her, Laura, like a sister, and we've been to hell and back so many times together that we know the way by heart," he smiled. "If you, your Dad and everyone else can help stop that?" He smiled. "I'm happy to piss her off."

"I really hope she sees that," Laura said sadly.

"She'll be angry, at first," he admitted, "but she loves you and she'll get over it. Actually, I think she'll be quite impressed all you've manage to do without her knowing it."

"I had help," she replied dismissively.

"True," he acknowledged, "but it will be okay."

"You can't promise that," she countered.

"Do you promise to love her the best you can?" he queried.

"For as long as she lets me," she answered sincerely.

"Then I can almost guarantee it'll be okay," he assured her and gave her squeeze. "Now, shall we get you shacked up with my best friend?"

"If you can help wrap my arm, I thought I'd take a shower," she said.

"Thought you two were planning on a bath?" he teased to her glowing cheeks.

"That was the plan," she confided, "but she was tired and I was too exhausted to really put up much of an argument," she said as she stood and then had to close her eyes as the room spun.

"You okay?" he asked as he stood and took her hand to steady her.

"Yeah," she shook her head, "just dizzy from the blood loss and Oxy."

"Good thing it's Oxy though," he replied seriously.

"You don't think she'd," Laura shook her head. "It's too close to her fight, she wouldn't risk it."

"Before she met you, she might have," he informed her. "And it's not just the training you've been giving her that's made the difference, but that you've given her something more to fight for." He laughed. "How you've managed to convince her you're not a fighter is beyond me."

"I've only had one professional fight," she countered.

"But you could kick her ass if you wanted too!"

"Probably," she shrugged, "but I've got better uses for that ass," she winked. "Now help me wrap my arm so I can shower, I must stink."

He walked over, sniffed her hair and then kissed the top of her head.

"You do kind of smell like the hospital," he admitted and wrapped her arm for her. "You need help in the shower?" he offered.

"Uh, no thanks," she laughed as she reddened, "but I might need help getting dressed when I'm done." She nodded to the stuff on the bed. "Can you put all that in Carm's spare room? I'll sort it out later." He nodded and started gathering her things. "Thanks Dark."

"No problem," he smiled, "I'll check on you when I come back for the rest," he said and left.

She made her way into the bathroom and awkwardly undressed as she waited for the shower to warm up. She stepped under the water's spray and sighed; she really did hurt everywhere. She eyed the shampoo bottle and realized she'd probably need help to wash her hair so set about washing her body instead.

Could she kick Carmilla's ass in a fight? Maybe. But Carmilla possessed something she never would; the aggression needed to fight. Sure, she had more than a decade of varied Martial Arts training, including a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, but technique only got you so far in mixed martial arts. The one professional fight she'd had she'd won, by a lopsided decision no less, but she could've finished the fight on more than one occasion but couldn't bring herself to pull the trigger. What Dark didn't understand was that it took a very skilled fighter to make everyone believe you weren't.

She chuckled as she aimed the showerhead so she could lean against the wall. She'd almost blown her cover the first time she'd sparred with Carmilla. Not by knocking her on her ass, no, that had been planned, but the efficiency with which she'd wrapped her wrists. Dark had told her about the first time they'd met, how Carmilla had come in looking for a job and then challenged him to a fight. She'd been banking on Carmilla's sense of nostalgia to give her a chance.

So far everything had gone to plan, mostly. She sighed and looked down to her broken arm. Well, maybe not everything. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with her. Yes, she realized now that she'd loved her from the moment she'd first seen her more than a year and half ago, but she fallen 'in love' with her the moment she'd actually spoken to her.

Even choking her out had been planned; her Invicta fight was all but assured and she knew who her opponent was. Laura needed her to learn how to defend the choke before then. Although having Danny replace her next opponent was a curveball, she had a feeling it would work to their advantage. Laura had trained with her, knew her weaknesses, and most importantly, knew that Carmilla could beat her.

"Danny," she sighed; it complicated things. She treated her horribly in an effort to push her away. She'd gotten herself into Danny's Lit class just so she could meet her. She'd hoped that Danny would be a way into Carmilla's life. Unfortunately, by the time she'd worked up the nerve to talk to her, it was too late and having Danny as a friend would do her no favours. Despite that, they'd become friends and started training together, until Danny screwed it up and tried to kiss her.

Maybe, had things been different, maybe she could have seen herself with Danny. She smiled and shook her head; she couldn't imagine herself being any happier than she already was. She sighed and pushed herself off the wall. Danny needed to be dealt with but it would have to wait until after the fight; she needed both of them focused. She needed Carmilla to justify the Invicta fight and her invite to the Ultimate Fighter, both were all but done deals, only the paperwork needed signing, but if she won both decidedly it would pay dividends on the show.

Laura turned off the shower and did her best to towel off. She slipped back into her robe and exited back into the bedroom to find Dark sitting on her bed staring off into space.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Will is waiting downstairs to talk to you," he replied.

"You left him alone in our apartment?" she questioned tersely and went to grab clothes, tearing through her underwear drawer before choosing a white dress with small black polka dots.

"Woah," he cooed as he stood and faced her, "what's the big deal?"

"Dark," she sighed and pulled on her underwear under her robe before turning her back to him, shrugging off her robe and slipping on her bra; "do me up?" she asked. She heard him walk over and tentatively take the two ends of her bra.

"Where do you hook it?"

"Middle," she supplied and then turned back to him once it was done. "I'm sorry, there's a lot I haven't told you."

"Why?" he interrupted.

"I didn't want to put you in an even more uncomfortable position," she offered and met his eyes, "any more than I already have anyway." She handed him her dress and as he helped her put it on she continued; "I don't trust Will."

"Because Carm thinks he's been talking to Danny?" he questioned.

"Worse," she replied grimly, "I think he's been talking to Deanna."

"Shit, seriously?" he asked in shock as she straightened her dress and then slipped on a pair of white sneakers.

"And I wouldn't put it past either of them to try to sabotage Carm's next two fights," she supplied with a nod. She grabbed her phone and called Doctor Coughlin. "Hey Doc, sorry to call so early."

"No, I'm glad you called," he replied wearily. "It seems an overly enthusiastic lab tech decided to bump your numbers up so you'd be released last night," he sighed. "You should have had at least one more unit. Any chance you can get away today for another transfusion?"

"Not really," she answered as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Any way you can get someone to meet me here? I can say I want to spend some alone time with my Dad and do it then."

"I'll figure something out," he replied.

"Good, and Doc? Think we can use this as an excuse to get Carm's blood tested too? Maybe Tuesday?" she asked.

"I guess. Want to tell me why?" he queried.

"Just a precaution," she offered. "Oh, and can you call me in a prescription for Tylenol threes? The Oxy is kicking my butt."

"Will do," he replied. "I'll text you the arrangements later."

"Thanks, Doc," she said warmly. "We'll probably be back sometime around three."

"Alright," he answered, "take it easy, okay? You're bound to be feeling lightheaded and dizzy from the blood loss."

"That would be an understatement," she admitted, "but I suspect it's more the meds."

"Probably a combination," he conceded. "I'll be in touch soon."

"Thanks Doc," she answered and hung up.

Dark slipped her sling over her head and helped her adjust her arm inside it.

"Do you miss it?" Dark asked out of nowhere.

"Miss what?"

"Being a cop?" he asked seriously.

"I'm still, technically, a cop," she countered lightly. "And, no, not really," she shook her head as she motioned him out. "My last high school was rough," she confided. "I still pulled it out, mind, and made some really great friends, but I needed a break."

"So what? You're on vacation?"

"Leave of absence," she corrected, "according to anyone who matters but I'm actually on deep cover witness protection."

"Which means what, exactly?"

"Which means I can carry a gun, for one, once I have an excuse I can give Carm for carrying it," she supplied. "But my Dad was hired by Frank shortly after she contacted him. I started helping him with the case a couple of years ago and then decided, about six months ago, that it was time to get more directly involved." She paused as they entered the elevator. "But everyone thinks I'm on leave of absence because a big part of our case involves officers within the department."

"How old are you again?" he joked.

"Twenty-five in October," she laughed. "You need to remember I graduated high school at fourteen and had finished two university degrees by the time I was nineteen," she shrugged. "And maybe I was the youngest ever person accepted to the Police department."

"And so modest too!" he teased.

"It is what it is," she replied sadly as they exited onto Carmilla's floor. "After my Mom was killed I threw myself into school and Martial Arts," she sighed. "As much as I could, anyway," she shook her head. "I was too busy trying to help my Dad hold it together to worry about myself." She looked to Carmilla's apartment. "I think that's why it's so important to me to help her," she shrugged. "I could have so easily have been her. In some ways I was." She shook her head. "No, my father never laid a hand on me but I was just as alone with my pain as she was," she smiled. "I guess I don't want her to have to deal with it all by herself anymore."

"You know why I decided to help you?" he asked, taking her off guard. "Because I could tell you already cared about her and I saw a chance for my friend to finally find happiness," he offered fondly as he drew her into a hug. "You want me to come in? Help you deal with Will?"

"No," she answered and pushed him away. "I want to deal with him myself," she looked to door. "Be careful around him," she looked back to him, "and keep an eye on him whenever he's here."

"Sure thing," he replied and ruffled her hair. "Later midget."

She chuckled and shook her head as he walked away. She took a deep breath and entered Carmilla's apartment to find Will sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in front of him. She looked from him, to the coffee pot, and then back to him.

"Does it taste okay?" she asked and made her way to the kitchen.

"It's fine, why?"

"Oh, I was just meaning to give the whole thing a good cleaning before I made the next pot," she replied nonchalantly as she dumped the fresh coffee into the sink and refilled the pot with hot water. She added a generous amount of dish soap laden with a secret disinfectant Laf had created. She swished it around as best as she could, and after removing the used coffee grounds, dumped the whole thing into the coffee maker. This close to Carmilla's fight? She wasn't taking any chances.

"Why are you here Will?"

"What did the Doc give you for pain?" he asked.

"Oxy, why?"

"Good," he smiled, "she never liked Oxy anyway."

"You really think she'd risk everything for a temporary high?" she countered, trying to hide her anger.

"What happened yesterday?" he changed the subject.

"You know what happened," she replied tiredly. "Everyone knows what happened. It was an accident, nothing more."

"Sure," he answered slowly and regarded her. "Be careful, Laura, you have no idea what she's capable of."

"You should be more worried about I'm capable of," she answered quietly, "if you threaten someone I love."

"When did I threaten her?" he laughed.

"I don't trust you Will," she stated flatly, "and I'd appreciate it if you stayed out of our apartment when we're not around."

"Hey, hey, hey..." he soothed as he stood, "where is this coming from?"

"You invited Danny here despite knowing how much it would piss her off," she replied. "Why did you do that?"

"Danny's my friend," he answered; she'd have almost believed him if she didn't know better.

"Sure," she said skeptically. "If there's nothing else?" she prompted as she motioned towards the door.

He studied her a moment, nodded and then left without a word.

She shook her head and returned her attention to the coffee maker. It finished its cycle a few minutes later so she dumped out the soapy water, rinsed the pot, filled it with clean water and then poured it into the coffee maker to make sure no soap remained. As she waited for the water to make its way through the machine she threw out the used coffee and refilled the filter with fresh grounds.

She stepped back and fished her phone from her pocket as she leaned against the opposite counter. She dialed Frank's number and waited for him to answer.

"I already talked to your dad, everything's been arranged," he said when he answered. "Get Carmilla to call me when she gets up and I'll let her know."

"And good morning to you too, Mr Grumpy Pants," she teased.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his tone softening.

"Like crap," she admitted with a sigh. "Doc's arranging for me to get another transfusion this afternoon. But that isn't why I called; I need you to start having Will followed."

"What's he done now?" he asked wearily.

"Nothing specific," she replied with a look at the door he'd left through, "I just don't trust him," she shook her head. "He's been back for two weeks and we've barely seen him. I want to know where he's going and who he is talking to."

"Since when did you start giving the orders?" Franks laughed.

"Since I have gotten the two of you further along since I joined you then you ever got on your own," she supplied evenly. "And until we have an excuse to have the security heightened around here, I want the Xanders watching our backs as much as possible. Especially Tuesday, I want to take this Smith nutjob out of the picture before anyone gets hurt."

"About that," Frank began slowly, "you sure about bringing Rick into the fold?"

"Yes," she replied firmly as she pushed herself off the counter to deal with the coffee, "he's still, technically, my boss."

"Even if you're the one who suggested it? Going undercover to protect Carmilla and Will?" he asked carefully.

"It's time he knew how long we've already been doing it," she countered. "He's determined to see this all end too, he'll be happy to help in any way possible. Besides, this way we can better control how much he tells Carm and when."

"True," he conceded.

"And Frank? Do a background check on Danny," she started. "She mentioned some stuff with her mother and father, I have a feeling Deanna's responsible."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because it's just like Deanna to put someone in a tough financial position so she can offer them aid in return for their help," she offered. "Danny was on the verge of being kicked out because she couldn't pay her tuition when Will suggested the Karnstein Foundation. She's received three grants so far."

"Karnstein Foundation?" he said thoughtfully. "I'll look into it."

"Thanks Frank but I need to get going," she told him as she realized she needed her one good hand to make the coffee and putting Frank on speaker wasn't an option.

"Alright," he replied. "Be careful, this Smith guy is dangerous."

"I know," she sighed, "have we found any connections between him and Deanna yet?"

"I'm still working on it," he answered. "I'll update you when I find anything."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later," she said, hung up the phone and slipped it back in her pocket. She set up the coffee machine to brew a fresh pot and then made her way into the bedroom.

She stopped at the foot of the bed and smiled; Carmilla was hugging her big yellow pillow. She grabbed the bottle of Oxy from the bedside table and checked to make sure none were missing; she wasn't worried about Carmilla taking them but she was concerned Will had. Once she assured herself that none were missing she settled herself on the bed near Carmilla's feet and watched her sleep.

She looked so innocent in her sleep, so young. She leaned forward and carefully brushed the hair from Carmilla's face so she could see her better. As she sat back she couldn't help but smile. So what if most of what Carmilla knew about her so far was a lie? At least she could always be honest with her feelings. She'd spend the rest of her life making up for the deception and manipulations if she'd let her.

There were a great many things Laura was concerned about, Deanna being at the center of most of it, but she feared the day the Carmilla found out the truth the most. She shook her head and sighed.

"There's no point focusing on a maybe future," she thought, "All I can do is cherish every moment of the here and now." She nodded. "Yesterday is done with, and I know it will take a lot of explaining about why and how I did the things I did but they're already done and I can't change that." She reached out to stroke Carmilla's exposed calf. "I can only hope you'll understand." She sighed deeply. "Maybe," she smiled, "maybe if I can prove how much I love you by then, you will."

Carmilla woke slowly and hugged Laura's pillow tighter, seemed to sniff it and then figure out it wasn't Laura before rolling to her back and stretching. Laura felt her face flush at the sight; "By gods, she's beautiful," she thought, her smile widening when the tousled haired brunette noticed her, the look on her face causing the butterflies in Laura's stomach to start anew. She might have accepted her feelings for Carmilla within days of actually meeting her, but that look, the look Carmilla was giving her, told her she felt the same. Hopefully it would be enough to help them weather the storm that was sure to come when Carmilla found out the truth. If not? Well at least she'd have perfect moments like this to hold onto if it wasn't. She'd always remember a time, if Carmilla came to hate her for the things she'd done to help her, that she had loved her.


	3. Dobby

Then

(Six Weeks Ago)

Laura had watched the sky turn from deep black to dark blue over the course of the last hour. It seemed her new habit of getting up early to take care of business before Carmilla got up had followed her to the cabin. She'd rolled to her back and had been replaying the events of the last week as she stared out the skylight overhead. She'd been nervous to come to a cabin in the middle of nowhere but had felt reassured after seeing the photos Carmilla had shown her and receiving Frank's detailed list of the various weapons hidden around the cabin itself.

As much as she knew the two of them needed the time to bond away from the mess back in Vancouver, she still felt uneasy not knowing what was going on back home. She reached for her phone on the nightstand; she'd noticed the night before that her battery was almost dead and wanted it charged for the ride home later that day. She checked the time, barely six o'clock, and noticed her phone had reception.

Laura looked over to her sleeping girlfriend, kissed her shoulder and then slowly climbed from the bed so as not to wake her before heading to the bathroom. She turned on the light and winced at the glare as she made her way to the toilet. She wondered, if she had cell reception, would her internet work too?

She smiled as she opened her email; they'd found a link between Bruce and Deanna. The house he was living in was previously under the name of one of Deanna's alias'. She sighed; "That," she thought, "that was a fucking mess."

On hearing Carmilla's plan Rick had immediately called her Dad; he didn't like the idea of taking him down on the Seawall as someone might get hurt. Despite that, the two couldn't come up with an alternate until Carmilla mentioned going to the car dealership. Fewer people around meant fewer chances of something going wrong. Unfortunately, as the plan was hatched in the ten minutes it took to get from the lab to the dealership, there'd been no chance to warn Laura. Despite that the only person hurt was Bruce himself.

Rick's visit on Friday wasn't unexpected; Laura already knew someone within the department had ordered Bruce's transfer to general population, from there it had been only a matter of time before one of Deanna's plants took care of him. The upside was that they'd found the man who made the call, he in turn, had outed several of the people working with him so he'd be given protection.

Yes, 'a fucking mess' was pretty accurate. She turned off her phone and was returning to bed when she was startled by a crash from downstairs. She glanced to the bed to see that it hadn't woken Carmilla and then retreated to the bathroom to grab the gun she knew was hidden behind the toilet. She quickly checked the magazine, clicked it back into place and flipped off the safety; sure, she might have a lot of explaining to do if she actually ended up using it, but better to have to explain where she got the gun than have either of them hurt.

She crept back into the bedroom, her ears trained for any noise from downstairs as she quickly pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. She found the small flashlight she kept in her bag, took one last look to make sure Carmilla was still asleep, and then quietly made her way out into the hall.

Laura kept the flashlight off as she made her way to the stairs, her eyes adjusting to the dim morning light enough that she could make out a person in the kitchen. Being small had its advantages and she was able to make it to the lamp closest to the kitchen without the person noticing.

"Don't move," she hissed quietly, her gun pointed at the back of the person's head as she flicked on the light. "Turn around, slowly, and keep your hands where I can see them."

"Well which is it, Miss Hollis," a gravely voice replied as he turned with his hands in the air, "don't move? Or turn around?" he joked.

"You're..." she stammered, her gun dropping a few inches, "but you're..."

"Dead?" he supplied.

Laura could do nothing more than nod numbly.

"Perhaps we could take this downstairs?" he suggested with a nod to where Carmilla was still asleep. "We wouldn't want to wake her." Laura nodded and motioned him towards the stairs with her gun. "You can put that away, Miss Hollis, I am no threat to you."

"Be that as it may," Laura replied evenly as he grabbed the sandwich he'd made and took a beer from the fridge, "I haven't decided that I'm not shooting you yet."

He turned and regarded her a moment, nodded and then made his way to the stairs. She followed him down to the Rec room, her mind whirling with questions. He flicked on a light and went to take a seat in one of the easy chairs. He took a bite of his sandwich and nodded to the couch opposite him.

"You must have a lot of questions," he commented once he'd swallowed.

"Just so there's no misunderstanding, you are William Karnstein Senior, yes?" He nodded. "You son of a bitch!" she spat.

"That's no way to talk to your employer," he mocked.

"'Employer?'" she blurted.

"I had Frank look into your father when my first wife, Carmen, was killed and I discovered that he had looked into her death," he shook his head. "He seem, invested, so, when Carmilla and Will ran away from Deanna, he seemed a natural choice to watch over them."

"You hired someone to do what you should have done in the first place!" she said angrily. "You!" she accused as she pointed at him and stood. "All of this is your fault!"

"I won't deny it," he replied sadly. "Please," he pleaded as he put his half-eaten sandwich aside, "if you'll sit I will explain."

"I still haven't decided whether or not to shoot you," she said evenly as she resumed her seat across from him.

"Noted," he replied with a small grin.

"Why did you ever marry that bitch anyway?" she questioned.

"I was younger than you are now when we had Millie," he began solemnly, "When Will came along three years later I wasn't any better equipped to deal with an infant," he shrugged and looked at his beer a moment before taking a sip. "Carmen was a wonderful mother," he smiled, "when I lost her," his voice caught, "I was at a complete loss at how to care for a three year old, let alone my infant son."

"So you married Deanna to take care of them?" she asked ruefully. "Great plan."

"You have to understand, I was devastated by my wife's death, I was barely functional," he implored. "When Deanna stepped in and started taking care of things around the house I was too grateful to see anything else."

"Did you ever love her?" Laura asked out of curiosity.

"Have you met Deanna?" he laughed and shook his head. "No, she was as much a means to an end I was to her. She had grown up with nothing, put herself through school and worked her way up in my company from receptionist to my personal assistant."

"And this was before your wife's death?" Laura questioned.

"God, you really are a cop, aren't you?" he laughed.

"Just trying to understand how you could leave your kids in the hands of that foul woman," she replied evenly.

"I had no idea," he admitted. "Deanna can be very charming, and on the surface she did everything right; took her time getting to know them, took care of them, everything one would expect of a woman trying to take the place of their dead mother would do. I had no reason to suspect anything."

"Plus you were too busy building your business to pay your children any mind aside from the occasional trip once they got a little older," she pointed out and studied him. "But you must have figured it out; why else fake your death?"

"The why," he confided, "is far more complicated than the how." He sat back in his chair and took another long swallow of his beer. "I only knew she was out to kill me, I had no idea they were in danger," he shrugged. "My Will kept her from their money and stipulated she'd only continue to receive her 'allowance' if she took care of them until they turned twenty-one."

"You really had no idea she was abusing both of them?" she asked incredulously.

"She didn't lay a hand on either of them while I was alive," he corrected.

"You're not that naive," she laughed. "Surely you know there are more forms of abuse than just the physical?" She began to shake she was so angry. "Carm gave me her journals to read," she informed him coldly. "How she turned out to be the kind, generous, loving woman she has despite it, is beyond me."

"And you would know, given your Psychology degree," he pointed out and sighed. "Look, I'm not proud of it, but I really had no idea what was going on. I spent as much time as I could with them once they were old enough for me to take care of and neither of them ever let on what she was doing."

"Because Will thought it was normal and Carm was too scared of what Deanna would do if she told you," she corrected. "And if you knew she was trying to kill you why the fuck would you leave your children in her care?"

"They were more valuable to her alive," he replied, "I wasn't."

"That still..." she shook her head, "Why did you fake your death and how?" she asked point blank.

"I had finally found a doctor who figured out was wrong with me," he started, "but I wasn't lucky enough to have a brilliant Biochemist working on the problem. He warned me that the cure could very well kill me, and if it didn't, I wouldn't be in any shape to defend myself for quite some time. You have to understand, the parasite had been in my system for months, not weeks. I could barely move for fear of breaking another bone. I was weak, and I was vulnerable," he looked down as he continued. "I figured, the best way to protect them would be to get cured and watch over them from afar, make sure she didn't hurt them too." He looked up when Laura didn't say anything. "The cure almost killed me and I was put in a medically induced coma for six months while my body healed."

"Your official report reads, 'Cardiac Arrest,'?"

"I did die of a heart attack that night," he supplied, "a heart attack I caused so that the EMTs I'd hired could get me out and to safety."

"But you could," she started, her frustration starting to show, "you could put an end to all this!"

"How?" he questioned. "Aside from the legal ramifications of faking my death, I can't prove she tried to kill me."

"But if everyone knew you're alive she'd have to stop trying to ruin Carm's life," she retorted.

"And then Carmilla would not get the justice she deserves," he supplied.

"You have got to be kidding me!" she replied sharply. "Carm spent more than seven years fighting for her life and you only step in when she runs?" She stood and began pacing. "You really expect me to believe, that in all that time, with all the visits to hospital with unexplainable injuries, not once did you or Frank think 'abuse'? Not once did you even try to find out?"

"Of course we did!" he said hotly and stood to face her. "But I was barely able to move for the first two years and what could Frank do? Everyone is afraid of her, she made sure of that!" He shook his head. "Anyone who questioned her had their lives ruined within days," he said quietly and fell back into his chair, "it didn't take long before they stopped asking."

"And Carm was too afraid she'd hurt Will to stand up for herself," she muttered and fell back onto the couch. "Why are you here? I mean, you're obviously too chicken shit to come forward."

"I came to warn you about the Jeep," he said, surprising her.

"We already know about the GPS unit, we left it intact so as not to tip off Deanna," she supplied despite her shock.

"It wasn't just a GPS unit," he clarified. "Frank told me what you'd found so I decided to take a look at it when you got here Friday evening. I was a little worried about all the wires coming from it so I sent a picture to your bomb expert, Steven, who then called and talked me through the disarming process."

"Disarming process?" she sputtered, she hadn't realized they'd been driving around in a bomb.

"There was a small explosive device contained with the GPS unit, just big enough to destroy the evidence however there was also a detonator," he held up his hand to forestall her next question; "I couldn't find where the charges are, the wires lead into the frame itself, but I disconnected that detonator..."

"That detonator?"

"Something has been done to front fender," he shook his head, his frustration obvious; "I can't disconnect it but it looks like if you try to use the winch or get into a fender bender, it'll also set of the explosives."

"That you can't find," she finished for him dryly. "So if nothing can be done and I can't tell Carm why we shouldn't use the Jeep, what do you suggest?"

"There's a big storm coming, and I don't know if Millie has told you, but they've made the road impassable whenever it so much as sprinkles," he explained. "Kenny is out presoaking a section at the bottom of one of the hills and I went out yesterday and placed a lightening rod on a big tree near the top, the same tree I've rigged to fall and block your path. Millie's first instinct will be to use the winch to get to higher ground. Make sure she checks the cable before she uses it; I've cut most of the way through it and taken the spare out of the trunk. Kenny has already called his son and his friends to be on standby to get you out." He smiled. "I'm guessing you'll get your excuse for heightened security when I blow the Jeep, once it's safe of course."

"Of course," she breathed weakly. "You'll wait until after we're gone?"

"I wasn't planning to, but I could," he replied thoughtfully. "Why?"

"Because A) We don't know how much explosives are in the Jeep and I don't want anyone hurt and B) Carm is going to be upset enough at losing her Jeep, she doesn't need to see it happen."

"You care for her," he said quietly, "I mean, genuinely care for her, don't you? It's not just an act to gain her confidence, is it?"

"Have you been spying on us?" she asked angrily despite her glowing cheeks; she'd taken Carmilla's assurances that they were alone to heart and there were definitely a few things they'd done that she hoped he hadn't seen.

"I give this place a very wide berth whenever my daughter or her friends come up here," he offered, "but I was at the entrance when you arrived and watched how the two of you interacted," he smiled, "I don't remember that last time I saw my Millie so happy and relaxed."

"Does it bother you? That she's with a woman?" she queried.

"Even if it did, it's not like I have a right to question it," he replied sadly. "As you so rightly pointed out, I am the cause for most of her unhappiness." He was right and Laura wasn't about to ease his guilt. "Besides, Kenny is gay and I helped him through his grieving when he lost his partner. People love who they love, if you make her happy, then I'm all for it."

"I do love her," she admitted, her cheeks again reddening. "I know I wasn't supposed to, it makes everything so much more complicated, but I do," she said sadly and looked down. "I'm scared that, in the end, I'll end up hurting her worse than anything Deanna has ever done."

"But surely she'll see that all you and your father have done is help her," he countered gently.

"Or she'll feel like all I've done since the day we met is lie to her," she clarified, "and manipulated her to do the things that needed to be done."

"Which you've only done to keep Deanna from figuring out who is really behind everything," he supplied. "You've done an excellent job so far, Miss Hollis, don't lose heart now when we're so close to the finish line."

"Who else knows you're alive?" she questioned.

"Just Frank and Kenny," he answered. "I don't know that you should tell your father."

"Why not?" she asked in surprise.

"That," he paused, "is not my story to tell."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you need to talk to your father," he replied vaguely.

"Wait..." she trailed off as new pieces of the puzzle fell into place, "you think Deanna had my mother killed, don't you?"

"I know she did," he replied quietly.

"But why? I mean, I know Dad went to school with your wife but I see no other connection," she said thoughtfully. "And if it was something my father knew, why kill my mother?"

"To keep him quiet," he supplied. "Your father was still a cop at the time, his death would have raised too many questions, but your mother's?"

"People believed the mugging gone wrong," she provided. "Which means he's still in danger." She shook her head; she had a feeling an uncomfortable conversation was coming in her near future. She studied him a moment. "So you've been living up here all this time?" He nodded. "And Kenny cared for you when you couldn't take care of yourself?" He nodded again. "So the smoke I noticed yesterday morning, that was you?"

"My main home is inside the mountain," he explained once he'd nodded, "but when Millie and her friends come up I go to the small cabin I had built near the property's edge." He looked to his watch. "I should be going. Kenny is going to call in a few hours to warn you about the storm and I need to get out to the road before you get there."

She watched as he disappeared through a hidden door behind the bar and then rubbed her face. "What the hell is going on?" she wondered as she stood and went to open the bar's fridge. She located a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream and headed back upstairs to the kitchen to make herself a hot chocolate. She placed the kettle on the stove, the weight of the pistol in her pocket reminding her of its presence.

Laura shook her head and made her way back up to the bedroom. She checked on Carmilla; she was curled around Laura's pillow and was still dead asleep. She shook her head again as she made her way to the bathroom to return the gun to its hiding place. She spotted the full garbage next to the toilet and decided to make herself useful. She collected it, replaced the bag and then made to head back downstairs, her backpack over her shoulder. She dropped her bag on the couch and went to grab the garbage from the downstairs bathroom, dismayed slightly at how much blood there was and decided to take advantage of her phone's internet to do a little research on Carmilla's condition.

She made her hot chocolate as she browsed through her phone; what she found was hardly comforting. It seemed, not only likely that Carmilla had Endometriosis, but had a pretty bad case of it and was probably in far more pain than she was letting on. But that part Laura understood as she'd gotten far enough into Carmilla's journals; Deanna was a master of exploiting weaknesses and Carmilla had been conditioned, from a young age, to hide that she was hurt, both from strangers, and from Deanna.

She checked the time, saw that it was going on seven and decided to call Frank; the only person she could call who already knew William Senior was still alive. Perhaps it was a little early to call him on a Sunday morning, but she was pissed and didn't really care if she woke him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she said by way of greeting as she made her way outside.

"I take it you met the cabin's permanent resident?" he replied carefully.

"Answer me!" she ordered.

"Do you think your father would have taken the job if he knew was paying the bill?" he countered.

"Why did Deanna have my mother killed?" she questioned.

"I..." he hesitated, "that's something you need to ask your father."

"Fuck you," she spat.

"Laura!" he admonished.

"No," she hissed, "it's not your life on the line! It's not my father's life on the line." She took a deep breath to calm her anger. "I'm the one who has been one fender bender away from being blown sky high for the last month, not you." She heard him sigh but decided to play his guilt to her advantage. "Fine!" she breathed. "Don't tell me but this ends now..."

"Laura..." he tried to interrupt.

"No," she talked over him, "I'm done reacting. Done waiting for Deanna to make her next move. You, Dad, William fucking Karnstein Senior, you're all too fucking scared to take her on directly but you're not the ones in danger, we are."

"What do you suggest?"

"This," she sighed, "this Jeep thing should be enough to convince her to beef up security so have the Xanders on standby. Also have Rick and Steven sweep the gym, it's time Carm knows about the microphones in the cars and the gym. Tell them to take Chico with them; if she managed to rig the Jeep to explode I don't want to take any chances."

"Rick's just waiting on Carmilla's call," he offered.

"Good," she answered and looked out over the lake. "I'm going to try to talk her into letting me run things while she trains, to let her focus you know?"

"Is that the real reason you got involved with her?" he asked; "So you'd have an excuse to take care of her more directly?"

"I would have suggested it eventually," she countered, an edge to her voice. "You might not believe it, Frank, but I do love her." She let her statement hang a moment. "From now on, I'm in charge, got it?"

"You have been for a while," he replied lightly.

"I'm not kidding, Frank," she interjected angrily. "I'm done playing by her rules, done working from behind the scenes. It's time that woman feel some of the fear she's made Carmilla feel all her life." She looked at the time. "I have to go; Carm will be up soon and I'd rather get this disaster of a day over with before I lose my nerve."

"Just make sure she checks the winch cable," Frank reminded her.

"I will," she replied and hung up.

She made her way to the kitchen to start making breakfast; maybe the smell of bacon, cinnamon and fresh coffee would wake her girlfriend wake from her slumber. As fucked up as the situation with Carmilla was she relished the normal things; like making her breakfast and taking care of her. It was during those times that she could forget who she was really was and the reasons she'd found a way into Carmilla's life. She worried that Carmilla would be angry with Dark; he'd been the one to convince to her to place the ad looking for a sparring partner. She smiled; he'd also been the one to suggest she place an ad looking for someone to do her hair before her fights. She, Perry and LaFontaine had gone to University together, and while Perry had no interest in Sports Management, she was Laura's first choice as Carmilla's manager. Through Perry she'd set up Carmilla's fights and even arranged for her trainers. Perry was, if nothing else, an amazing actress, she only hoped she'd still be up for the task when things got crazier. But it was LaFontaine who'd been critical in their fight against Deanna's favorite weapon and was the driving force in helping and curing Dark. They'd even managed to synthesize a vaccine which Laura had dosed the gym's water supply with the day after she moved in.

She opened a file on her phone and made Carmilla a protein shake as she ate her breakfast and Carmilla's cooked on the stove. She put the shake in the fridge once she'd finished her breakfast, and after a moment's hesitation, stole one of Carmilla's cigarettes from the freezer; she'd given up the habit years ago but the morning's revelations and the stress of knowing what the day was about to bring, had her craving a smoke.

Laura made her way back outside and went to lean on the railing as she lit her smoke. It was ironic, really, Carmilla's stories of the first three women she'd been with had Laura wondering if Carmilla really trusted her. "Did she get her period this weekend on purpose to keep me at arm's length?" she wondered but dismissed the thought; no one would knowingly put themselves through as much pain as she was suffering.

No, it was ironic because, given the many things Laura was keeping from her, the list having grown just that morning in an alarming way, Carmilla really shouldn't trust her. She sighed and then inhaled deeply as she lit her smoke. She heard the toilet flush upstairs and smiled; "Guess breakfast worked," she thought and shook her head. "God I hope you forgive me when the time comes," she said quietly as tears crept down her face; "I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose you."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now

(Four Weeks, Five Days to Go)

Carmilla leaned against the wall opposite the tournament bracket and sighed; it was Sunday afternoon and she was waiting on the few others who had decided on an extra weekend morning practice to head back to the house. Wednesday's fight had been an upset with Randa beating Teccia via a hard fought three round decision. It was a quite a blow to her team having the number three seed Teccia taken out in the first round but secretly Carmilla was glad, one less high seeded opponent the better. Gilbert Melendez, her coach, had confided that, given the choice, he would have her fight closer to the end of the preliminaries to give her more to recuperate from her fight with Rose, which translated to Carmilla having more time to learn. She had a feeling Pettis was likely to do the same thing for other reasons. Namely to give her opponent more time to prepare and because he thought the longer he could make Carmilla wait to fight the better. Which had both its pros and cons; fighting nearer the end meant that she'd be fighting three times in a week and a half. She sighed again; after Friday's fight she was more worried about her opponent after Alex; the number two seed, Joanne Calderwood. She'd been one of the fighters Carmilla and Laura had researched; outside of the cage she seemed shy and soft-spoken. Inside the cage was an entirely different story. Her fight with Emily had also gone to decision but there was no question in anyone's mind who had won.

She shook her head as she turned her head to Bec's approaching footsteps.

"Everyone's 'bout ready to go," Bec commented as she leaned on the wall next to her. "Whatcha doing?"

"Figuring out who I might have to fight," she replied casually and motioned towards the door. She'd been lucky enough to get the same driver who'd picked her up from the hotel and seen her one moment of weakness since entering the house. She'd commented one afternoon about how badly the Vegas heat was getting to her and he'd been kind enough to crank the air conditioning whenever he drove her team. Carmilla would have spent all her time at the gym if she could have. Not only was it slightly cooler than the house, but she didn't have much time to think about what was going on in Vancouver without her. As it was her team worked out in the morning when it was coolest and then she'd take a nap until dinner time to miss out on most of the day's heat. She'd get up around six, make herself dinner and then join the other's in her little group to pass the time until nine when she could be by herself and write to Laura. "I made the mistake of getting to know Rose a little before the fight and it made it so much harder," she confided. "Danny was the first person I fought I had history with and Rose was the first I liked," she shrugged. "I like to think I learn from my mistakes so I'd rather not make friends with someone I might have to fight in a few weeks."

"Can I ask you something?" Bec asked as they got into the cool air of the van. Bec continued at her nod; "Did you let Rose kick your leg so many times on purpose?"

Carmilla chuckled and nodded.

"Promise not to tell anyone?" she joked.

"So you were setting up the big left hand?" Bec asked with a laugh at her nod. "Nicely done."

"Thanks," she replied with a smile, "too bad it didn't actually connect."

"That might work to your advantage though," Bec commented, "no one knows it's your secret weapon."

"True," she replied and smiled as Angela and the others joined them.

She looked out the window as they drove from the gym to the house and let her mind wander. She wondered how everyone was doing and if Laura missed her as much as she did. Everything she did reminded her of Laura; sleeping alone, showering alone, even making a meal alone, it all served to make her miss her more.

Once they got back the others let her shower first as she had once reasoned she didn't use much warm water and was quick. She let the cool water wash over and allowed herself a moment of weakness as the tears fell. "God," she thought as she wiped away her tears roughly; "it's been nine days and it already feels like forever."

She gathered herself as she washed; she had vowed not to let the others see her at her weakest, not even those she was beginning to consider friends. But she knew there would come a time when she'd need a shoulder to lean on and she hoped that Bec, and maybe Angela, would be those shoulders.

Carmilla got out of the shower a few minutes later, wrapped her hair in a towel and threw on her robe. She passed Emily on her way out, the latter still looking somewhat disheartened over her loss on Friday. Carmilla had reminded her that she managed to take the number two seed to a three round decision and that was something to be proud of. She liked Emily and she was another of their little group.

While she and Bec had connected immediately, the others had joined them slowly. It was the reason she'd been studying the tournament bracket earlier; she wanted to see what the chances were that she'd have to fight any of her new friends. She laid down on her bed and went over the possibilities as she stared at the pictures of her friends. Both Angela Hill and Emily had already lost so didn't have to worry about them while both Angela Magana and Bec were in the other tournament bracket so if she did have to fight either of them it wouldn't be until the finale and she wouldn't mind losing the last fight to either of them. She hadn't exactly chosen who to get close to based on who she might have to fight but she was glad she wouldn't have to fight any of them none-the-less.

One of the advantages of the show was getting to watch your possible opponents fight. Which was another reason she was paying close attention to the tournament bracket. Maybe she should be more worried about Alex but it was her next fight that had her concerned. In fact, if Randa managed another upset, Joanne would likely be her toughest challenge. But she was getting ahead of herself. "One fight at a time," she reminded herself as she looked up as weight settled on the bed beside her.

"You okay?" Bec asked.

"Not really," she admitted and looked to the cameraman in the doorway. "Is there any reason I can't get my confessional over with right away?"

"I don't see why not," he replied as he took the camera from his shoulder. "I'll go get it set up."

"Thanks," she looked to Bec a moment and then to Angela M. as she joined them. "Would it be okay if I have a couple of friends with me?" she called after him.

He turned and looked at her thoughtfully; she had a feeling they'd been warned about what she was up to given their near constant presence and she hoped they'd let her have some emotional support.

"It'll be easier to tell if I pretend like I'm telling them my story," she offered.

He looked between the three; "You'll have to keep completely quiet," he advised them and received their nods. "Okay, we'll meet you down in the studio."

Carmilla looked to her new friends; "You don't have to do this if you don't want to," she said as she got dressed; "It won't exactly be the most pleasant of confessions."

"This have something to do with the scars on your back?" Angela asked gently. Carmilla nodded and looked down. "We might only be new friends," Angela started as she placed a hand on Carmilla's shoulder and caused her to look up.

"But we are friends," Bec finished.

"Thanks guys," she said gratefully and pulled them into a hug. "When this over you're both invited to train at my gym," she told them as they parted; "All you have to worry about is your spending money, I'll cover everything else."

"You don't have to do that," Bec replied with a playful shove.

"I want to," she assured them, "after what you're about to hear?" She shrugged. "It's the least I can do." She straightened her Team Melendez jersey and ran her hands through her hair. "How do I look?"

"Like you're ready to take on the world," Angela said with a smile.

"Not the world," she admitted, "just the woman trying to end it."

Her two new friends shared a look but didn't comment as they followed her to the studio. She took her seat and waited patiently as the makeup crew did their best to hide the circles under her eyes.

She closed her eyes once they were done and tried to gather her thoughts; she'd only ever told anyone bits of her story and never the whole thing at once. She had many reasons, most having to do with the inevitable nightmares that followed. Which was another reason she wanted to get her confession over with; if she did suffer nightmares she'd have more time to overcome them before having to fight.

"Whenever you're ready Carmilla," the producer prodded.

She nodded and opened her eyes.

"My mother, my birth mother, died just before I turned three," she started. She and Laura had spent a lot of time practising, and as difficult as that had been, it paid off now. Because of her practice she was able to distance herself from the story she told, almost as though it happened to someone else, but that didn't last long, the quiet gasps and sniffs from the crew and her friends reminding her how truly horrific her past was. She looked to Bec and Angela for comfort and strength whenever she found herself wavering, their looks of disgust and anger adding enough fuel to finish her story.

"But I'm done being afraid," she said as her story come to its end. "My girlfriend, she told me before my weigh-ins with Rose, that someone should feel shame for the scars on my back but it shouldn't be me." She stared directly into the camera. "I fight so that someday I won't have to," she sighed. "I fight so that this fight that was given me, a fight that no one, let alone a child, should have to fight, can finally come to an end." She looked down and shook her head. "I'm done."

She felt hands on her shoulders, looked up and saw Bec and Angela at her side. She stood and let them pull her into a hug as the tears she'd been fighting for the last hour finally fell.

"You're stronger than you know," Angela assured her as she rubbed her back.

"I don't feel strong," she admitted as she pushed them away and wiped her nose. She looked to the producer, the only crew still left in the room and asked; "Got what you need?"

"We'll use as much of it as we can," she promised.

"Think maybe you can get the crew to back off for a few days?" she asked to the producer's surprise. "Talking about this," she shook her head, "I don't expect to be sleeping well for the next few nights and I don't want to snap at them for nothing."

"We'll still want to tape you when you visit with Laura but we'll keep our distance," she offered.

"Why?" Angela asked.

"Because it's good TV," Carmilla supplied. "Me, the big bad callous badass sitting alone, smoking a cigarette and crying because she misses her girlfriend?"

"It is compelling," the producer offered; "and it humanizes your story even more."

"Were you told to pay special attention to me?" Carmilla asked and wondered if the producer would answer honestly and was somewhat surprised when she nodded. "Well give me a few days to recuperate from this and I'll make it worth your while," she promised and motioned her friends out. She looked at her watch as they made their way back to their room; it wasn't even six yet. "I'm going to lay down for awhile," she told them as she collapsed on her bed.

"Want us to stick around?" Bec offered and sat down beside her.

"I should be okay," she said as she propped herself up on her elbows, "but maybe, if you guys want to, you can join me tonight?" Bec smiled and nodded. "I think we could all use a beer after that, don't you?" she joked and laid back down. "Besides, talking to the two of you about Laura will make great TV."

"Is that the only reason you're here?" Angela asked with an edge. "To get revenge on your stepmother?"

"You think I don't care about fighting? That I don't want to win?" she offered and they both nodded. "Maybe my reasons are different than yours, but trust me, I do want to win and I do enjoy fighting," she shrugged. "But yes, when Deanna is dealt with I'll probably retire," she propped herself back up again. "I like fighting, I do, but it's never been what I want to do with the rest of my life."

"And what do you want to do?" Bec asked.

"I don't know yet," she admitted with a laugh and laid back down, "all I know is I want to spend the rest of my life making Laura happy," she smiled as they chuckled and shook their heads. "No really, I've been so wrapped up in all this with my stepmother for so long that I've never really put much thought into what happens when it's over," she stifled a yawn. "Go, let me get some rest," she prodded, "I'll be fine," she assured them as they seemed reluctant to leave her alone.

"Okay," Bec answered and patted her thigh, "I'll come wake your around eight-thirty?"

"Thanks," she replied warmly, "and thanks for listening today."

"Thanks for trusting us," Angela said with a wink, "I can understand how that might be hard for you."

"I needed someone to lean on," Carmilla admitted; "just hope you guys know what you've signed up for."

"Nightmares?" Bec supplied and she nodded. "What do we do if we see you having one?"

"Wake me and, um, maybe hold me until I calm down?" she asked sheepishly.

"That bad?" Angela asked in concern.

"Sometimes," she admitted, "and this is probably the first time I've told the whole story at once."

"Okay," Angela looked to Bec, "I'll stay here, just in case, and we'll take turns overnight?" Bec nodded.

"You don't..." Carmilla tried to interrupt.

"Will you sleep better if you know someone is here in case you have a nightmare?" Bec countered.

"Maybe," she admitted.

"Then it's what we'll do," Angela said as she went to stretch out on her own bed. "You're our friend and team mate," she offered with a shrug, "we'll do what we can to help." She turned on her side to face her; "Besides," she continued; "I know when the time comes to tell my story I'm going to want a shoulder to lean on when it's over."

"Fair enough," Carmilla replied with another yawn; she was drained, both from the heat and from her confession. "I'm going to nap now," she informed them and turned her back to them to stare at a picture of Laura before closing her eyes.

Telling her story hadn't been easy, it never was, but at least she'd gotten it over with and now she could concentrate on the show itself. She'd told Bec and Angela the truth when she said she wanted to win even if she didn't admit why. If she managed to win all three of her fights leading up to the finale it would give the producers plenty of time to work in everything they'd just taped. As she drifted off she hoped it was enough.


	4. Comfort

Then

(Six Weeks Ago)

Laura woke early the day of weigh-ins, which wasn't unusual, she usually woke before Carmilla. She was staring at the wall, thinking over the week's events, when she felt her stir behind her and then her naked body press up against her back as she pulled the sheet down. She suppressed a shiver as gentle fingers trailed down her arm and then brushed her hair aside before Carmilla kissed just below her ear. She leaned back into her and smiled; it was times like these that she cherished. Times when it was just her and Carmilla. It seemed sex was the most honest she could be with her as she was lying about almost everything else. Carmilla gently pulled her to her back, a hand steadily making its way to her breast when it stopped.

"Why'd you stop?" Laura asked her voice belying how long she'd been awake.

"How long have you been awake?" Carmilla asked as she bent to kiss her chest.

"Since you pulled the blanket down," Laura looked up as Carmilla raised her head, a look of sadness on her face; "Baby?" she said in concern as she reached up to stroke her cheek; "What's wrong?"

"I was thinking about what you said, about how not all scars can be seen?" she replied tentatively; "And it hit me, why it was so important to you that I was ready because…"

Laura pulled her up and kissed her deeply as she rolled her to her back.

"Stop," she said firmly; "I was happy when you let me change the subject. Not because it's hard to talk about, I mean, it's not my favourite topic, but it was four years ago and I've," her voice caught slightly; "mostly come to terms with it. I didn't want you to know because, well, for this very reason." She paused a moment to kiss her, she was still confused as to why Frank had included her teenage pregnancy in her background check. It was almost a decade ago and she still felt the loss of her child deeply. "I was going to tell you, before we slept together, but I got to thinking about why it was so important for you to be away." She smiled and kissed her again. "I didn't want our first time tainted by my past," she kissed her chest; "I wanted us to be able to express ourselves without worrying about it."

"I might not have a Psych 101 class, but Laura, you should have told me," Carmilla replied quietly; "I know enough about flashbacks to know that I could've…"

"Stop," Laura interrupted again; "I wasn't," she took a deep breath; "In my head, it wasn't rape. Would I do things differently given the chance? Been more forceful about trying to make him stop?" She smiled. "You bet, but not for the reasons you might think. I was curious, he was good looking, he really did try to make sure I enjoyed myself," she laughed and shook her head; "If anything he proved to me I was gay. But, yes, it wasn't with my consent, but I stopped voicing it, I let it happen."

"Still doesn't make what he did right," Carmilla countered softly.

"I agree, and so does he," Laura replied, her voice strained; "He felt so badly about what happened," she took a deep, but shaky, breath; "He was going to provide for us, well the best he could," she offered; "And that," she looked down; "that's what I feel guilty for," she looked up and met her eyes, her brown ones swimming with tears; "I was relieved when I miscarried," she sniffed and wiped her nose; "I was fifteen, I wasn't ready to be a mother," she admitted as tears finally leaked from her eyes.

"Can I ask, what happened?"

"My mother miscarried four or five times before she finally carried me to term," Laura explained as she wiped her tears away roughly; "Which, ironically, was a part of the reason I decided to keep her," she shrugged; "I didn't know if I'd ever be able to have another, especially since I'd just accepted that I was gay," she sighed deeply; "They, the doctors, don't know why I miscarried, or why my mother did for that matter."

"It's not your fault, Laura, none of it," Carmilla said as she reversed their positions; "Everything happens for a reason; the good and the bad." She smiled and kissed her softly. "And if, someday in the future, you really want kids, I will move heaven and earth to see that you can, I promise." Laura smiled broadly and pulled her down for another kiss. "Do you want to know what my ultimate dream has always been?" she asked when they parted, Laura nodded. "I've always wanted to have my partner carry my fertilized egg, and vice versa. That way, when the child is born, we'd both have a biological connection to it."

"Same sperm donor for both?" Laura asked.

"Ideally," she replied with a smile; "I think it would be nice for them to have the same father."

"You really want kids?" Laura asked as she ran her thumb across Carmilla's cheek.

"I do," she admitted; "and maybe one of my reasons is selfish," she smiled; "I want to give my kids an amazing childhood."

"To make up for the one you didn't get?" Laura deduced.

"Is that selfish?" she asked.

"Maybe," Laura replied with a light laugh; "but it's a far more valid a reason than some I've heard."

Carmilla laughed lightly and put her forehead to Laura's chest.

"What?" Laura asked as she lifted her head.

" _Us_ ," she shook her head and laughed; "we've been together for two weeks and we're already talking about kids."

"So?" Laura said seriously; "I find it comforting that we're both thinking about our future together."

"Very true," Carmilla replied and kissed her softly.

"And Carm?" Laura said, her voice having dipped; "When it comes to my body, please and kindly assume you my consent."

"Oh really?" she chuckled throatily.

"Yes, really," Laura replied and reversed their positions; "I can't think of anything you could do that I wouldn't want you to do."

"Because you know I'd stop the minute you asked," Carmilla replied seriously.

"I do," Laura smiled; "and that's why I can give you my consent freely," she leaned down to nibble at her neck; "And I look forward to being woken to find you making love to me."

"Oh…" Carmilla trailed off at a crash from the other room; "What the creeping hell?" she muttered as she swiftly moved Laura off her, grabbed her gun from the bedside table, and got out of bed.

"Um, Carm?" Carmilla turned to her; "You're naked."

"So I am," she laughed as she grabbed her red cheetah covered silk robe and slipped it on. She walked quietly over to the door and opened it far enough to see what, or who, had caused the loud noise. "Mark?"

"Sorry Honey, I didn't mean to wake you," she heard her father apologize and felt the anger she'd been ignoring all week start to boil up. "I decided to drive down and made better time than I thought. Dark let me in last night and gave me your keys so I could surprise you with breakfast," he continued; "I tried to follow Laura's menu, I hope you like it."

"How did you know it was Laura's menu?" she heard Carmilla ask with a laugh.

"I recognize her handwriting," he replied.

"Daddy?" Laura said from the bedroom doorway and then walked over to give him a hug; "I thought we were picking you up before weigh-ins?"

"I'm going to use the bathroom and get dressed," Carmilla interjected and kissed her on the cheek on her way to the bedroom.

"Why are you really here?" she questioned as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Rick offered me a job," he supplied carefully as he portioned out their breakfasts.

"You're retired for a reason!" she hissed.

"It's a desk job, Laura, pulling together evidence, nothing more," he supplied.

"Don't think I don't already know how much danger we're both in," she warned. "Or, at least, I do now," she shook her head. "We never should have moved to Vancouver. What were you thinking?" She heard movement from the bedroom; she needed a way to speak to her father in private. "Play along," she said quietly before yelling with very real anger; "The last thing she needs is one more person to worry about!"

"It's not your decision to make," Mark countered just as angrily as Carmilla joined them.

Carmilla looked from Laura to Mark and then back to Laura.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" she asked.

"Not right now," Laura replied firmly.

"Fine," Carmilla replied neutrally and went to the hall closet to grab her tennis bag; "I'll be out back if you need me," she added as she picked up her plate, utensils and orange juice.

"You don't have to go," Laura said as Carmilla kissed her cheek.

"It's obvious something is up and you and your Dad need to talk," she replied; "and that will be easier to do without me around."

" Thank you, Carmilla," Mark said, reminding the two they weren't alone.

"You're welcome," she answered; "and thanks for breakfast."

She took a seat at the table and then looked at her father across it, still unsure of how to play it. She looked back down to her coffee and sighed.

"Frank tells me I'm taking orders from you now?" he asked, his tone one she hadn't heard before, causing her to meet his eyes. "What makes you think you deserve to be calling the shots?"

"Haven't I been for a while?" she countered. "Doesn't everything seem to go sideways when I'm not included?" she continued before he'd gotten a chance to respond. Her frustration and anger over being kept in the dark rising to the surface. "Don't you think I should have a say considering it's my life in the most danger?" He paled slightly. "Don't you think I deserve to know why my life has been in danger since Mom died?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked but she could tell he was stalling; buying time to figure out just how much to tell her.

"It's not a coincidence that Mom died around the same time Carm's Dad died, is it?" she questioned. "What did you know that gave Deanna a reason to kill Mom to keep you quiet?"

Her father studied her a moment before getting up from the table to retrieve something from his bag. He returned and refilled his coffee cup from his flask and sat back down.

"A little early don't you think?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Where is this coming from?" he deflected.

"Damn it, Dad!" she hissed angrily and stood. "Stop lying to me! I have to lie to Carm on a daily basis, I need to know if this is something that is going to come back and bite me in the ass!" She shook her head and walked over to the freezer to retrieve the cigarettes she'd hidden. She turned to find her father with a disapproving look on his face. "No, you don't get to have your whiskey if I can't have a smoke," she told him as she made for the balcony. She turned, leaned against the railing and lit her smoke as she waited for him to follow. "It's bad enough that I feel like Deanna has the bomb of knowing who I really am to drop anytime she likes," she shook her head, "why on earth you didn't change our names before we started all this is beyond me. But I digress," she turned and met his eyes. "Tell me the truth Dad, why did she kill Mom?"

"When Bill Karnstein died I filed for custody of Will and Carmilla," he admitted quietly.

She stared at him; for the life of her she couldn't understand why he would do that. "Why in the world would he think he would have right to file for custody, unless..." she pondered and then the truth hit her like a tonne of bricks. "Did you have an affair with Carm's Mom?" she asked point blank.

"It's not that simple," he replied quietly.

"How..." she laughed mirthlessly, "how is that _not_ simple? Either you did or you didn't."

"That's just it," he replied and for the first time she could tell he was telling the truth, "I honestly don't know." He looked around nervously. "We should go back inside."

"No one can hear us," she dismissed, "so stop stalling."

"Yeah, well, you might want to sit down for this," he replied, trying to lighten the mood.

"Or you might," she mocked and took one last long drag of her smoke before heading back to the dining room table.

He took his seat across from her and then drained most of his coffee.

"Carmen, Carmilla's mother, and I were more than acquaintances in high school," he began quietly as he stared into his mug. "We grew up together," he smiled, "a few houses apart. She was younger than me and moved in just before she started elementary school so I kind of, I don't know, took it upon myself to watch out for her." He shook his head. "Even when I went to high school I walked her to and from school just to spend time with her and make sure was safe." When he finally looked up he looked the saddest she seen him since her mother's death. "After I graduated we drifted apart. I met your mother in college, as you know, and didn't hear from Carmen aside from an occasional email or Christmas card." He frowned and looked off into the distance. "She called me, maybe a year before Will was born," he shook his head again and looked back to her. "She asked me to meet her at a hotel downtown a few months later. She was convinced Bill was having an affair with someone at his office."

"Deanna?" Laura guessed.

"Undoubtedly," he nodded and sighed. "I don't remember anything after the second drink."

"You?" she blurted; she knew how well her father could hold his liquor. "Were you drugged?"

"We woke up in bed the next morning, both naked but with no memory of what happened and feeling like shit," he supplied. "She went home to her husband and I went to the hospital to get tested," he shrugged. "High levels of MDMA and GHB."

"Ecstasy and roofies?" He nodded. "What was her plan? Set you two for an affair and break them up so she could swoop in and take him away?"

"I think so," he shook his head, "but the plan backfired when Bill completely forgave her and then found out she was pregnant with a son."

"Is Will," she swallowed. "Is Will my half-brother?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "We were waiting on a court injunction to have a paternity test done when your mother was killed."

"But why not find out since then?"

"Because if Will is my son..."

"He loses everything and it goes to Carm," she finished for him. "And Deanna would lose everything she thought she'd get from him." She laughed. "Not to mention, if you did manage to get custody, she'd lose her allowance and theirs." She sobered and glared at him again. "Why the fuck didn't we at least change our names?"

"Language," he admonished.

"I'm not a child," she raged back, "Thanks to you and your poor judgement I stopped being a child the second Mom died," she accused and watched the guilt come over him. "What kills me," she shook her head, "poor choice of words, sorry," she sighed and rubbed her face. "I've been reading Carm's journals," she continued quietly, her eyes filling with tears. She shook her head and wiped them away before she continued; "All those times she could have been helped, but everyone was too afraid of big bad Deanna."

"With good reason," he interjected.

"So, what? _Now_ you make things right?" she accused. "All of you! Frank, you, Rick, her..." she trailed off and stood to pace; should she tell him the Bill Karnstein is alive and well? "So many times, so many poor decisions," she shook her head again and looked back to him, studying him a moment before continuing. "Bill fucking Karnstein is alive, well and paying our bills."

"You can't be serious!" he exclaimed.

She nodded and sat back down across from him. She looked at her plate a moment and pushed it away; she'd lost her appetite. "I met him last weekend when he came to warn me about the Jeep." Of everyone he was the most to blame. If only he'd taken his wife more seriously. If only he'd seen Deanna for what she was. She sighed deeply again and rubbed her face before looking at him again, this time he was wearing a look of concern. She looked to her plate and back to him. "I'm fine." He seemed unconvinced. "I'm allowed to lose my appetite after finding out that my life is in even more danger than I thought."

"Honey, I..."

"No," she stood again, "I'm done. Done with everyone's excuses and most of all, done with being afraid and playing this game by Deanna's rules. It's time that woman feels a little of the fear she's spread all these years," she could see he was about to interrupt and stopped him with a raised hand. "No, she might know who I am but she won't use it," she reasoned. "She knows, if you are Will's father, she loses everything. She can't out me without revealing why she knows who we are."

"So, what's the plan?"

"You," she said, an edge to her voice, "are going to make yourself scarce until we leave for New Mexico," she informed him. "Watch our backs but more importantly, keep an eye on Will." She swallowed and took a deep breath; she'd spent much of her free time looking into Will the last week and nothing she found was reassuring. "He was El."

"No!" he said in shock.

"Him and Deanna," she admitted. "I should have known," she sighed. "Danny told me about him asking her for advice about some girl he'd met online. Anyway," she shook her head again; "Dark also found a bunch of drugs in his bag that Rick is looking into. I want all that kept away from Carm until after the Invicta fight."

"Are you sure..."

"She knows, now, that I am purposely keeping things from her, with her permission," she explained. "I want to know, without a shadow of a doubt, what Will is up to before we tell her." He nodded. "And once Carm is safely in the house, we go after Deanna head on."

"Laura..." he started warningly.

"No!" she said louder than she'd meant to. "I want Deanna in jail, or on her way there, by the time Carm gets home. If she's going to hate me for all I haven't told her and never wants to speak to me again, fine; at least she'll have her life back and she'll finely be safe." She made her way towards the bedroom and then stopped to face him. "And you know why none of you have a say anymore?" He nodded. "Because none of you used you it when you had the chance." She watched his face go through a range of emotions; sadness, guilt and regret among them. "I'm going to get dressed and go blow off some steam with Carm, don't be here by the time I come back out of the bedroom."

She pushed the door open and went to gather her clothes. She was angry, no, she was pissed off. Of all the people helping Carmilla without her knowledge, perhaps LaFontaine and Perry were the only ones not involved with their own revenge in mind. She got dressed quickly and was lacing up her shoes when she heard the apartment door open and close. She sighed and sat on the bed; maybe she'd been too hard on him?

"No," she reminded herself, "he's been lying to me this whole time."

She ran down the stairs and was making her way across the gym when Kirsch waived her over. "You okay?" he asked as she approached.

"Fine, why?"

"Carm mentioned you were arguing with your Dad?" he prodded.

"It's nothing I want to talk about," she replied.

"Okay," he shook his head and looked to the back door. "She's under, Laura, like one-nineteen with clothes on, under."

"Fuck," Laura hissed. "How worried is she?"

"Not overly," he replied and looked back to her. "What's the plan?"

She racked her brain a moment before she replied; "Do we have any rolls of loonies or quarters?" He nodded. "Okay, we'll use those to up her weight to just over and then she can hand them to me like she forgot she had them." He chuckled. "And you know what? Go to Home Depot, see if you can't get a small step stool, small enough to fit in my backpack, but be quick, we leave to pick up her Jeep in a couple of hours."

"I'll send Dark," he answered as he grabbed his phone to call him. "Hey," he called as she turned to walk away; "Want your protein shake?"

"Later," she replied, "I'll drink it on the way to grab the Jeep."

She walked outside to find Carmilla talking to Steven; "Optimistically?" she said; "A year at best, two at the worst." Carmilla looked to her as she put her hand on her shoulder.

"I'm hoping for six months at the most," Laura thought.

"Hey you," Carmilla said warmly and kissed her cheek. "Everything okay?"

She shook her head and looked to Steven; "Is there anything that can't wait?" she asked, her voice strained slightly, he shook his head and went to walk away.

"Steven?" Carmilla said to get his attention; "I'll have you drive us to the dealership and go over my new Jeep before we drive it and then follow us the rest of the day?"

"You won't make it too hard to follow you?" he asked, his tone light.

"I'll do my best," she replied and motioned him back inside; "We'll be picking up my test results on the way."

"Don't need to, Elsie had them sent over," Laura informed her.

"Great," Carmilla replied and turned back to Steven; "So, straight from the dealership to the hotel." He nodded, she turned to Laura a moment, and then back to him; "If you don't mind, we'll have Laura's Dad drive with you though, if that's okay?" He nodded again and took his leave.

"You didn't have to do that," Laura said quietly; "Yes, I'm mad as hell at him, but I could've shared the car with him."

"What if I don't feel like sharing you right now?" Carmilla asked as she dropped her racket and balls to the ground and grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close. "What if, I'm dreading being away from you so much, that I'll take every second to be alone with you that I can?" Laura tangled her hand in her hair and pulled her into a kiss, doing everything she could to change the subject before she asked; "Want to tell me what's got you so upset?" she asked gently.

"No such luck," she sighed internally. "No," she replied firmly and pushed her away. She bent to Carmilla's bag. "You have an extra racket, let's play?" she asked as she took the second racket from the bag and took off its cover.

"Laura," Carmilla said tiredly as she bent to pick up her racket and took off its cover; "I think this is one of those times where not knowing the truth will bother me more than knowing."

"Don't be so sure," Laura replied sadly; she sure as hell wished she didn't know and now she even more to keep from her.

"Laura…" she prodded as she walked over and placed a hand on her arm.

"No," she replied, a little less forcefully this time; "Let me…" she sighed; "Just let me blow a little steam off first?"

"Whatever you need, sweetness," she replied fondly and kissed her forehead. "You any good at tennis?" she asked as she bent to pick up the forgotten tennis balls.

"I haven't played in a while but I used to be okay."

"Okay, we'll start off slow and I'll try to avoid hitting to your backhand," Carmilla replied as they walked over to her court.

"Why not have full court made?" Laura asked as she watched Carmilla stretch and then hurried to do the same when she noticed her watching.

"I prefer Squash, to be honest," she replied; "but we didn't have room for a court so this was the compromise," she explained.

"Ah, so that's what the empty space is in the rec room designs," Laura replied with a smile. "I haven't played Squash; you'll have to teach me."

"If it's like everything else you'll be kicking my ass in no time," Carmilla teased and patted her behind with her racket. "You ready?" Laura nodded. "Okay, we'll start off slow to warm up."

It felt good to do something physical again; aside from not being able to subtly teach her anymore, she hated being so idle. She'd started Krav Maga when she was eight, she was used to having a way to blow off steam and she missed it. She let her mind wander as they played; "What the hell do I tell her?" she wondered as the ball went past her.

"Enough," Laura laughed and looked at her watch; "Come on, we have just enough time for a shower and a bite to eat before we pick up your Jeep."

"We're not going anywhere," Carmilla said as she walked up and pulled her close; "until you tell me what's going on with your Dad."

"It can wait," Laura replied and pushed her away. She picked up her racket's cover, put it on and put it back in Carmilla's bag. "What?" she asked as Carmilla was watching her, a small frown on her face.

"No," Carmilla replied firmly; "You're going to tell me what's going on," she all but demanded.

"Fine!" she replied angrily, walked over to the wall, turned and slid to the bottom to sit. She hugged her knees to her chest and put her head down on them. Carmilla rushed to her, kneeling at her feet and running her hand through her hair as she'd started to shake from crying.

"Baby? What is it? What's wrong?" Carmilla asked in a rush. "C'mon Laura, talk to me," she pleaded.

Her tears were real; all the stress, all the lies, everything that had happened the last couple of weeks, all of it coming to a head. She gathered herself as she considered what to tell her. She sat up straight and wiped the tears from her right cheek while Carmilla wiped her left for her.

"I get it now, Carm, why you keep trying to send me away," she started quietly, looking to the sky as she wasn't sure she could meet her eyes. "Apparently there's a few openings in the Vancouver Police Department due to recent suspensions and firings," she finally met Carmilla's eyes; "Rick offered my Dad one of them," she took a deep and shaky breath; "He accepted."

"I don't understand how that's bad news," Carmilla replied in confusion.

"You're joking!" Laura laughed; "Yes, he's a cop, a damn good one too, but from a small town. Even if it he wasn't getting directly…" she shook her head as she realized she was about to reveal too much; "Vancouver is far more dangerous than he's used to," she amended.

"Did he mention what he's going to be doing?" Carmilla asked.

"Something about 'cold case' files," she replied and smacked her head; "No wonder he was relieved when I agreed to take time off school."

"Because it'll be easier to keep an eye on you?" Carmilla guessed.

"Maybe, but no," she laughed ruefully; "I've been helping him with his cases for years," she shook her head; "It happened by accident the first time, he forgot a file on the kitchen table. I looked through it and then, despite my fear he'd yell at me for looking at it, asked him if he'd noticed this one thing," she smiled, it was Carmilla's file and she'd found it shortly after her father had taken the job; "He was angry until I pointed it out," she shrugged; "Led to a big break in the case and the guy was caught," she finished, stretching the truth a little.

"I'm not surprised," Carmilla commented and kissed her cheek; "You're one of the smartest people I know, even if you're being incredibly dumb right now."

"I'm sorry?" she snapped.

"I'm sorry, baby, but I can't be anything but relieved your Dad is going to be here for you while I'm…" Laura interrupted her with kiss.

"Sorry, I don't want to think about being away from you right now," Laura admitted quietly and looked away.

"But Laura?" Carmilla said and pulled her to face her again; "Your Dad can take care of himself, and unless I'm very much mistaken, what Rick has him doing amounts to a desk job."

"How do know?" Laura asked, a tinge of hope to her voice.

"Because he, the Doc and Frank have been carefully finding all the evidence they can against Deanna: medical records, police transcripts, everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks," she explained patiently; "They need someone relatively unbiased to put it all together, figure out a timeline, and see where the evidence leads."

"'Relatively' unbiased?" Laura asked, wondering if Carmilla had already figured out that her Dad was closer to her mother than she'd known.

"He knew my Mom, that's sure to come up," Carmilla advised her and she relaxed slightly. "She's already one to exploit any weakness, now that she's getting desperate?" She kissed her as she frowned. "And as much as neither of us wants to think about it, I am going to be away for six weeks," she put a finger over Laura's lips to stop her interruption; "No listen," she admonished; "I'm glad he'll be here to support you." Laura nodded, kissed her finger and then took her hand from her mouth.

"What about you though?" she asked sadly.

"What do you mean?" Carmilla asked in confusion.

"I can't help but worry about you, alone in the house," she supplied

"I'll hardly be alone," she replied lightly and sat back; "There'll be fifteen other fighters, not to mention a host of camera crew, there to keep me company."

"You know what I mean," Laura replied and shoved her playfully.

"But what you forget, Laura, is having someone to support me like you do, is new to me," she replied and Laura couldn't help but think there had been many who should have. "What I mean to say is, I'll be okay," She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince; her or herself but Laura accepted her kiss anyway. "Yes, I'll miss you terribly but you know what's going to get me through?" she asked as she knelt in front of her again; "Knowing you'll be waiting for me at the end of it." She stood and held her hands out to her. "Now come on," she prodded as she took her hands and helped her up; "We've got four whole weeks before I go anywhere and I, for one, plan to enjoy every minute I have with you until then," she kissed her softly; "Join me for a shower?" Laura blushed and nodded. "You okay?"

"I will be," she sighed; "Sorry it took my Dad moving here for me to finally get it."

"He'll be safer here," Carmilla offered as she kept hold of her hand and picked up her tennis bag; "Deanna would have come after him eventually and distance wouldn't have made any difference. At least here he has the might of the Vancouver Police Department behind him."

"I don't know if that makes me feel any better," Laura admitted but let Carmilla lead her back towards the gym.

"It wasn't meant to," she shrugged; "It is what is, baby, and the bottom line is he'll be safer here." She reiterated.

"How can you be so sure?" Laura questioned.

"Because Rick knows I'll kill him if anything happens to your Dad," Carmilla replied seriously and kissed her softly. "Your Dad can have your old apartment, of course."

"No wonder you're planning at least six more apartments in the rec warehouse," Laura commented with a laugh; "Keep it up and you won't have anywhere for fighters to stay."

"Have we heard from Tyler then?" Carmilla asked curiously.

"We're meeting with him before the meeting on Sunday," Laura replied vaguely. "I think, no matter what we decide, that he shouldn't know everything."

"You don't trust him?" Carmilla asked as she let her lead her inside and over to elevator. She punched in the code on the new security keypad they'd had installed and turned back to her as she waited for it to arrive.

"I'm not sure yet," Laura replied and shook her head; "No, enough," Laura said as she pushed Carmilla into the elevator and up against a wall. She leaned in and kissed and nibbled at her neck. "Let's forget reality until Sunday."

"You have an interesting way of changing the topic, Miss Hollis," Carmilla laughed throatily as she leaned past her to hit the button for their floor.

"I'm trying to," she replied, her voice deep as her hand crept beneath her shirt. With all the lies and things she was keeping from her, this was the only time she could be fully honest with her. The only time she could forget the rest and enjoy being in love. Maybe it wouldn't last, only time would tell, but she was going to cherish every minute while it did.

Now

(Four Weeks to Go)

 _"_ _Hey, hey, hey..." Laura cooed, her arms wrapped tightly around her, "It's okay, baby, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. Just like the..."_

 _"_ _The... the... mountains?" Carmilla stuttered, her heart still racing from the nightmare she'd had. She turned and tucked her head into Laura's neck._

 _"_ _That's right, Kitten, I'm not going anywhere," she said as she rubbed her back and rocked her gently. "I'm not going to say it's not real, because I know that it was," she continued quietly and lifted Carmilla's face to meet her eyes; "But she's never going to hurt you again, got it?" Carmilla nodded._

The dream shifted and changed; she was three again and she was holding a newborn Will.

 _"_ _Promise me, Millie," her mother urged; "promise me you'll keep him safe."_

 _"_ _I promise,"_ Carmilla replied and the dream shifted and changed again; now she was a few weeks from her eleventh birthday and she sat by her father's bedside, watching him die.

 _"_ _Hey baby," he said, his voice hoarse from lack of use._

 _"_ _Hey Daddy," she said and took his hand gently, tears slowly falling down her face._

 _"_ _It's going to be okay," he assured her, "You'll be taken care of, you and your brother." She shook her head in denial. "It will be, honey, I promise, just take care of each other, okay?" She nodded reluctantly._

The dream changed one last time as she woke, Laura cooing in her ear again that it would be alright. She opened her eyes and focused in on her pictures on the wall, a strong arm around her middle, her head lying on the other.

"You okay?" Bec asked sleepily.

"I need to pee," she replied lightly as she nudged her, "can you let me up?"

She felt Bec move behind her followed by a loud thump as she hit the floor; the beds really weren't meant for two people.

"Fuck," Carmilla hissed as she rushed from the bed to help her stand; "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Bec replied as Carmilla guided her to her own bed; "my fat ass took the brunt of it," she joked.

"I happen to think you have a very nice ass," Carmilla teased as Bec fell onto her bed.

"Don't let your girlfriend hear that," Bec joked.

"Hey, just because I'm on a strict diet doesn't mean I'm not allowed to appreciate the menu," Carmilla said with a laugh as she gathered her things for a shower. Since it was a fight day, which meant no training, most of her teammates were still asleep and she could take a hot shower for a change.

She started up the shower and let it heat up as she emptied her bladder. She was about to get undressed when she was startled by the door opening followed by someone clearing their throat.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," the show's producer apologized; "But I wanted to talk to you with no one else around."

"So we're not under constant audio surveillance?" Carmilla questioned as she turned the shower back off; no point in wasting the hot water.

"You are but I've turned it off in this room so we can talk," the producer supplied.

Carmilla crossed her arms over her chest and studied the woman; was she friend or foe and would there ever be a time when Carmilla didn't have to question every person she talked to?

"Look, I am a friend, I promise," she assured her and tentatively stepped forward. "We met with your girlfriend, Dana and I, the last time you were in Vegas."

"When?" Carmilla asked in confusion; she couldn't think of any time when Laura hadn't been by her side.

"Five o'clock in the morning, the day after you fight," she provided and shook her head. "She was worried about you, about how you'd fair after your confessional. I wanted to assure you, what's been going on, the last few nights?" Carmilla nodded. "We only filmed your nightmare the first night."

"Why are you telling me this?" she queried.

"Because I wanted you to know we're, I'm," she corrected; "going to do everything I can to make sure your story is told right. No one needs to know you had to be held so you could sleep the last few nights."

"I'm not ashamed of it," Carmilla countered. "Have you never had a female friend hold you when you're upset?" she asked, the producer shook her head. "Then you're missing out," she joked. "Besides, Laura knows how I get," she shrugged; "She told me to take advantage of any comfort I could get." She studied her a moment. "Why are you helping me?"

"Because I can," she replied softly, "because I could have been you," she admitted.

"What's your name?" Carmilla asked and stepped closer.

"Beth," she replied, "I wanted you to know you're not alone in here."

"I'm never alone, not anymore," she replied with a smile and showed her her tattoo. "She's always with me," she met her eyes again, "even when she's not."

"Your girlfriend is quite the little pitbull," Beth confided. "Pity she got hurt and couldn't be on the show with you."

"That and she's only nineteen," Carmilla differed.

"Right," Beth said slowly and scratched the back of her head uncomfortably. "I'll let you get on with your day."

"Wait," Carmilla said, a hand on Beth's arm to stop her, "has there been any news from Vancouver?"

"None," Beth smiled, "but no news is good news right?"

"Not necessarily," Carmilla sighed and smiled. "Thanks, for having the cameras keep their distance the last few days."

"Not a problem," Beth smiled and then left.

"Well that was weird," Carmilla thought as she re-started the shower. She stepped under the warm water and let the tension leech from her body; she wasn't the only one who'd had a rough week. Not only had her nightmares kept her roommates awake but Bec had found out she'd lost her stepfather.

Sunday night had been the worst; both Bec and Angela M had held her most of the night. She finally fell asleep, exhausted, with Bec stroking her hair, around four in the morning. The next day Bec had found out about her stepfather. While their teammates and coaches had been incredibly supportive, that night when they went to bed, she didn't question it when Bec had climbed in behind her and wrapped her arms around her. The nightmares had persisted but she was able to calm herself quickly; it might not have been Laura's arms that were comforting her, but Bec's reminded her of Laura's and that was close enough.

She sighed and rubbed her face; she was homesick, there was no other way to describe it. Yes, she missed Laura, but she missed her other friends too, the gym and her life. True, no news was good news, usually, but Deanna was anything but predictable and she worried that the longer the wait for news, the worse it would be when it finally came.

"If," she reminded herself and turned off the shower; it was entirely possible her friends could stay safe for six weeks. With all the money she'd spent on security and her friends' assurances they would stay at home and watch each other's backs, there was no reason any of them should be in danger. She shook her head as she dried herself; no point worrying about things she had no control over.

She dressed quickly and headed down to make herself some coffee only to be greeted by a full coffee pot. She looked around to see who it belonged to and found Angela Hill sitting out on the patio.

"Hey," she greeted, trying not to startle her.

"Hey," Angela replied.

"Mind if I steal a cup of coffee?"

"Go ahead," she nodded, "I think I stole some of yours a couple of days ago."

"That's where it went," Carmilla joked and went to grab a coffee. She wandered back out to sit with Angela. "You okay?" Angela shrugged. "Come on, cheer up," she urged, "it's MMA right? Anything can happen."

Angela was facing the number one seed, Carla Esparza, and no one had much hope that Angela was going to pull off the upset. Not that anyone was telling Angela that.

"Look, she hasn't fought in a while, right?" she prodded, Angela nodded. "Strike first and strike fast," she smiled, "you might just catch her off guard."

"Thanks, Karma," Angela said with a laugh as she bumped their shoulders, "don't think I don't know everyone thinks I can't win."

"It's MMA, Ang," she said reminded her, "anything is possible." She looked back over her shoulder as Bec joined them. "I want to run an idea past you guys," she said as Bec sat down beside her. "I was thinking of making my favorite chicken dish for all of you and I thought maybe we could make dinner for the whole house tonight."

"The whole house?" Angela laughed. "As in, the other team?"

"Look, it's only been two weeks and there's already splits within our team," she reasoned. "Everyone's tense, and on edge," she shrugged, "I think it would be good for all of us to take a night off from the 'game', just be sixteen women sharing a house."

Angela and Bec shared a look.

"What do you think?" she prompted.

"I think you're nuts," Angela joked.

"Help me sell it to the others?" she asked.

"Sure, but you're selling it to the other team," Bec answered for both of them.

* * *

Later that day she sat between the other Angela and Bec on the top row of bleachers waiting for the fight to start.

"Hey," Carmilla said as she nudged Bec's leg with her own, "thanks for the last couple of nights."

"Don't mention it," Bec smiled, "it was as much for me as it was for you."

"I suppose getting woken up all night wasn't fun," she conceded.

"That's not what I meant," Bec clarified.

"I know," Carmilla smiled, "but, uh, if you're okay, I think I'll be okay to sleep alone tonight."

"No nightmares last night?" Bec questioned skeptically.

"None," she smiled.

"Worried your girlfriend might not approve?" Angela teased.

"She actually told me to take any comfort that was offered me," she smiled at their looks of surprise. "She knows I love her and I would never even consider cheating on her," she shrugged. "It's comfort, that's all. She understands," she finished and nodded towards the door where the other Angela was making her way toward the ring. She cheered along with the rest of her teammates, trying to do anything they could to bolster her courage.

The fight went about how Carmilla thought it would; Angela gave her the best fight she could but enthusiasm couldn't outweigh Carla's experience. She studied Carla the best she could in the minute and a half the fight lasted, Angela succumbing to a standing rear naked choke.

They all headed back to the locker room to wait for Pettis to pick the next fight.

"Hey, you got her with some solid elbows," Carmilla pointed out to Angela.

"Maybe I should have leaned back?" she teased.

"Yeah, cause that worked so good for me," Carmilla laughed.

They were called back to the gym a short time later for the fight picks. She stood between Bec and Angela, her arms across her chest as she stared at Pettis. She understood his strategy, of course, since gaining control of the picks; he was doing everything he could to keep them. He had five of the top eight seeds, it only made sense to have the fighters who should win fight first; he kept choosing the fights and it gave his two lower seeds, her opponent Alex, and Bec's, Justine, more time to prepare. She wondered idly, if Pettis had another motive; force Melendez's two best fighters to fight at the end and they faced three fights in two weeks, likely against his fighters. She smiled as he announced the next fight; number six seed, Felice, against her teammate, number eleven seed, Heather Jo. She didn't care much for either woman; Felice reminded her of an overly muscled version of a cheerleader and Heather? She was just annoying. Carmilla had, however, tried to curb her friends' tendency to bully the three outsiders on their team, which was part of the reason she'd suggested the dinner.

"Um," Carmilla started, trying to get everyone's attention, "I was thinking," she took a deep breath; "it's only been a couple of weeks and things are already starting to get tense at the house. We have another four weeks to get through and it's not going to be comfortable for anyone if this continues."

"So what do you suggest?" Carla questioned for her team.

"Well, to start, tonight dinner is being made by me and my team for everyone," she started to team Pettis' surprise. "For one night, let's be sixteen women sharing a house, not fighters on opposing teams, not fighters at all really." Team Pettis were still sharing skeptical looks. "Look, we're making dinner for everyone, you can eat it or not, join us or not, but we're doing it either way." She gave them a moment to consider it. "Okay?" A few of them nodded. "One last thing; the dish I'm making has a lot of Cilantro, if you don't like it, let me know and I'll dip yours before I add it."

"You done?" Pettis asked her, his tone unreadable.

Carmilla nodded and took her place back in line; she wondered if he thought it was a trick. She shook her head and laughed under her breath; if she managed to get under the coach's skin, would it affect his fighters? She smiled and looked down; this she understood. Manipulation and planning ahead? Growing up with Deanna, it was second nature.


	5. Second Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! NSFW due to sexy fluff. Figured it's been awhile since I threw you all a lemon ;-)

Then

(Six Weeks Ago)

The first text came in the car shortly after leaving the hotel. The second came about a half hour later as they pulled into the gym's parking lot and met up with Danny and Betty. She couldn't risk leaving Carmilla alone with Danny until she could warn the latter the things she needed to remain hidden. Fortunately her girlfriend's nurturing nature gave her the opportunity to quickly warn Danny when she went to get the redhead a heating pad almost as soon as they got home.

"Danny, Carm doesn't know we..."

"Dated?" Danny provided with a laugh.

"To be fair, neither did I until you kissed me," she confided quickly and with a quiet chuckle. "Please, there's a lot she doesn't know about me and I need it stay that way for the time being."

"Laura, what the..." Danny trailed off as Carmilla returned.

It was more than an hour later, and several texts in a row, that she finally felt it safe enough to leave Danny and Carmilla alone and excused herself to go to the bathroom. She opened the last text first; "Fuck," she hissed and dialed the text's sender.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

"He got here around nine-thirty," he answered in hushed voice. "He was scared, ranting about Carmilla's fight and how their whole plan was going down the drains. She gave him some pills and put him to bed. Shit..." he trailed off, "Laura, I'll call you back."

Laura took her phone from her ear and stared at it a moment before reading her other texts, grateful she'd had the foresight to plant several people of her own within Deanna's security ranks.

"Will just left the hotel, keeping him in sight," the first read from her father. The second was from Brandon, one of the guards at Deanna's estate; "Will's here," was all it said, followed by; "Deanna is pissed. Gave him pills and put him to bed."

"Fuck," she swore again as she read the next sent about an hour later.

"Somethings wrong, she called her doctor."

She ignored her father's text and waited impatiently for Brandon to call her back. Realizing she actually did have to use the toilet, she'd just sat down when her phone rang.

"She's sneaking him out to VGH in the doctor's car," he paused, like he didn't want to tell her the rest. "Laura, I think he overdosed."

"Was someone watching her? Did she go back into him before she called the Doctor?" she questioned, ignoring the urge to throw up.

"She went back in about a half hour after she put him to bed," he informed her.

"Okay," she said slowly and covered the phone while she peed. "Search his room but I doubt you'll find anything, she's too smart to leave evidence behind. Let me know when she gets back."

"Understood," he replied and hung up. She finished up, washed her hands and called Rick to let him know what was going on and what she needed him to do.

"I know," he answered wearily, "he's on his way to VGH."

"We can't send anyone there," she reminded him, "I won't risk our guys at the estate."

"Laura..."

"No, I have a contact at VGH, I'll know what's going on soon enough," she cut him off as she leaned back against the sink. "We send someone there now and she'll want to know how we knew."

"Fine," he sighed in defeat.

"And Carm finds about none of this until we're in New Mexico, understood?"

"Laura..."

"No!" she interrupted his warning. "She can't deal with this right now. Her guilt over Danny is already crippling her, she finds about Will and she won't go. She needs this. She needs the break and she needs the training if she has any hopes of being something more than Rose's punching bag."

"What does it matter?" he countered. "You got her on the show months ago."

"Because she doesn't know that," she remarked. "If she does well against Rose it'll give her the confidence she needs to do well on the show."

"Your Dad says you hope to have Deanna jailed before she gets back?"

"That's the plan," Laura sighed; Carmilla was bound to wonder what was taking her so long. "Give me a second," she whispered as she went into the bedroom and called out to Carmilla; "I'll be right out, I'm just going to get changed." She closed the door behind her; "Look, she doesn't need to know the show is plan B and I need her on the show so I know she's out of harm's way."

"What about Will?"

"That," she sighed and sat on the bed with the clothes she'd gathered while talking to him, "is a very good question." She shook her head. "Let's find out what's going on and then you arrest him for the drugs we found as soon as he's stable enough to move. Put him somewhere safe and away from Deanna."

"It's not only Deanna we have to worry about," he said carefully.

"You found out what's going on?" She shook her head and continued before he replied; "No, I don't have time for this. Can you keep him safe?"

"I'll figure something out," he assured her.

"Good. Call Frank, tell him to start the paperwork to transfer the cabin to Carm but not to file it until Carmilla tells him too," she thought a moment. "In fact, nothing is put in motion until Carmilla says so."

"And if she doesn't?"

"She will," she assured him. "I have to go, I'll let you know what's going on when I know and can get away," she smiled. "Actually, I'll send your number to my friend at VGH and have them update you directly. Send me an update when they get the toxicology back."

"Will do," he replied and ended the call just as she received another text, this time from her friend Bret at VGH.

"Will's here."

"Is he okay?" she typed quickly and then started to change as she waited on his reply.

"He will be. Taking him to ICU."

"Full tox, and the bug, to be safe," she instructed and then pulled on a pair of Carmilla's sweatpants. "Send updates to following number and thanks," she added and included Rick's number.

"Sure thing. You owe me dinner ;-)" he replied.

"Once she's on the show," she answered.

"Deal."

She slipped her phone in the pocket of her sweatshirt and took a moment to gather herself; the acting classes she took with Perry were about to pay off. "Shit," she sighed; yet another thing she'd have to warn Danny about. She needed to come up with a way to admit to knowing both Perry and her partner, LaFontaine, both of whom she'd met while pursuing her second degree, this one a masters in criminology. Though they were both a bit older than her, the three had become friends, and even stayed that way once the other two had finally admitted their feelings and became a couple. Danny knew them too; she'd met them through Laura.

She took a deep breath and returned to the living room to the oddest sight; Danny sitting on the couch with Carmilla sitting on the back of it and giving her a massage.

"I can't do much," Carmilla was advising her, "it's far too fresh and I could make it worse. You'll want the Tiger Balm to wear off a bit before you put the collar back on though."

"Thanks Doc," Danny joked as Laura came up behind her girlfriend and kissed her temple.

"Go on," Carmilla urged as she stepped around her and helped her lay down. She put a pillow beneath her head gently and smiled. "You can't force your muscles to do anything more than necessary whenever you have that thing off," she informed her as Danny had tried to sit up. "Hey, I know what I'm talking about, okay?" Danny nodded subtly as Laura went to sit on the other couch. "The Tiger Balm will help but putting anything over it will make it unbearably hot. So rest, okay?"

"Okay," Danny sighed. "How do you know all this stuff?"

"When you've had as many injuries as I have you learn to take care of yourself," she replied and Laura felt her heart almost break at her tone. "I'm going to wash this stuff off my hands," she added, her voice strained as she smiled weakly and kissed Laura on her way by.

As soon as the bedroom door closed behind her she whispered to Danny; "She doesn't know either of us knows Perry and LaF."

"Seriously?" Laura nodded. "What the hell Laura?" she hissed.

"I can't," she glanced at the bedroom door. "I'll explain as soon as I can, but not..." she trailed off as Carmilla returned and then went to the fridge. "Please?" she whispered.

Danny studied her a moment, looked to Carmilla as she approached, and looked back to her; "Fine," she mouthed.

Carmilla placed two wine glasses on the table, filled them both and handed one to Laura before instructing her to scoot forward so she could sit behind her and take her in her arms. She took a sip of her wine and smiled as Carmilla kissed her cheek.

"Everything okay?" she queried.

"Aside from coming out to find you giving another woman a massage when I didn't even know you know how to do that?" Laura deflected, her tone light.

"I'd have given you one long before now but everything you messed up when you went head first down the hill needed to settle down before I could touch you," Carmilla explained. "Besides, what I gave Danny wasn't a massage; that was rubbing in Tiger Balm. No, when I give a massage, a _real_ massage, it takes at least an hour."

"Oh really?" Laura replied, her voice having dipped.

"I'll show you later if you like," she offered.

"You're the one who should be getting the massage," Laura chuckled. "You did fight today after all."

"And just what kind of massage do think you can give me one handed?" she teased. "Besides, I hardly felt like I fought at all," she joked.

"Hey!" Danny interjected. "Right here Karnstein!" she joked. "No need to rub it in."

"I wasn't," she replied earnestly. "Just stating a fact."

"Fair enough," Danny laughed. "I think I'll head to bed."

"Need something to sleep in?" Carmilla asked.

"Like either of you would have something to fit me," Danny laughed.

"True," Carmilla chuckled and nudged Laura forward, "but I can run downstairs and grab you some sweats and a t-shirt."

"You don't have to," Danny rebuked.

"No, it's okay," Carmilla assured her as she stood. "I'll be right back," she added as she made for the door.

"Out with it, what's going on?" Danny demanded the second the door closed behind her.

"Simple version?" she offered and Danny peered at her. "She doesn't know who I really am. None of it. She thinks I'm nineteen, in University with you, and I know next to nothing about Martial Arts but a lot about the UFC."

"Laura, what the hell?" Danny exclaimed as she tried to sit up.

Laura rushed to help her up and then helped her turn so she could still rest her head on the armrest but they could talk more easily.

"It's..." she sighed, "it's complicated."

"Why do I have a feeling that's an understatement?"

"Because it is," Laura admitted and sat down beside her. "Danny, I'm sorry. Sorry for the way I treated you and sorry for putting you in the position of lying for me." She sighed as Danny placed a hand on her wrist. "And I'm so sorry you got mixed up in all of this and most of all that I can't explain any more than that until I have the time to explain it fully."

"The Doc told me not to tell her that I'm already on my way to being cured, why?" Danny asked.

"Because we can't risk Deanna finding out we have a cure," Laura answered. "She finds out her favorite weapon is effectively useless and she's bound to find something worse. Dark almost died. The chemo? The bone marrow? They only delayed it. LaF's the one who cured him."

"So I'm really going to be okay?" Danny asked hopefully.

"Yes," Laura assured her. "More than, actually."

"How so?"

"Not now," Laura shook her head as she realized Carmilla would soon be back. "Please Danny, if you're not sure if you should say something, don't. Not until I've explained."

"You're trying to help her, aren't you?" Laura nodded. "You love her?"

"I am so tired of people asking me that!" Laura spat as she stood. "Why is it so damned hard for all of you to believe that I love her?"

"Laura, hey, calm down," Danny said as she tried to sit up again, gave up and lay back down. "I'm sorry, okay?" Laura sighed and nodded. "It's just," Danny sighed. "It's all a little hard for me to take when the reason you gave me for..."

"I told you I wasn't ready for a relationship," Laura supplied and sat back down beside her. "Would it have made you feel better if I'd told you the truth? That I was in love with someone else? Someone I hadn't met yet?" she admitted quietly and looked to the door when she heard the elevator chime. "I do love her Danny, and the thing that scares me more than Deanna, is that I'm going to lose her when she finds out the truth." She looked to Danny. "That can't happen until she gets back from the show."

"Why?"

"Because by then she'll be safe and it won't matter if she never wants to speak to me again when she finds out," she rushed as the door opened.

"Your secrets are safe with me," Danny whispered.

"Thanks," she whispered back as she hugged her.

"You want us to take out your braids?" Carmilla offered as she joined them and handed Danny the sweats.

"No, I..." Danny started as she raised her arms and then realized she couldn't lift them high enough and sighed; "Okay, maybe I can't."

"Here," Carmilla said as she helped Danny put her collar back on. "Let me know if it gets too hot and we'll wash some it off for you."

"Carmilla?" Danny said quietly and turned awkwardly to see her. "Thank you for giving me a second chance."

"It's not like you're not giving me one too," Carmilla smiled, "Now sit back so we can do your hair."

"Maybe," Danny sighed and sat back, Laura and Carmilla going behind the couch to take out her braids, "but I'd say you've more than earned it."

Laura worked by Carmilla's side, thankful again that the Doc had seen reason and given her back some use of her left hand. Her thumb was, however, still immobile and Carmilla finished taking off all the hair ties before she was halfway through her first braid. They worked quietly, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Laura gave up as she couldn't hold up the weight of her cast any longer, and since Carmilla had already done more than two thirds of the braids, she refilled her wine glass and then slumped back on the opposite couch to watch Carmilla finish Danny's hair.

As she watched them Laura couldn't help but wonder what could have been were it not for Deanna's plotting. She sighed and took a sip of her wine. Were it not for Deanna, Carmilla may have been her sister. She chuckled under her breath and drew her girlfriend's attention as she ran her hands through Danny's, now freed, hair. She shook her head and took another sip of her wine; of all the 'what ifs' currently bouncing around her head that was one she still couldn't quite swallow.

"Do you want a hand getting changed?" Carmilla offered.

"Maybe," Danny replied with a frown, "but if it's okay with you, can Laura help me?"

"I guess," Carmilla shrugged and went to refill her own wine glass as Laura got up to follow Danny to the spare bedroom.

"How hurt are you?" Laura asked as Danny sat on the bed.

"How did you know?" Danny asked with a sigh as she unzipped her hoodie.

"Why else would you want only my help?" Laura suggested as she helped Danny take off her sweatshirt and then her tank top. "Fuck..." Laura hissed as she saw the many dark bruises on Danny's ribs and back.

"Two fractured ribs, hairline fracture in my jaw," Danny listed off as Laura helped her put on her t-shirt. "Oh, and a bruised liver."

"Thank you," Laura said as she knelt down to take off Danny's shoes, "for not telling her the truth, about how hurt you are, I mean."

"I can see how guilty she's feeling," Danny shrugged slightly as Laura finally got her shoes off. "She doesn't need this on top of it," she said as she stood to change her sweatpants.

"You're going to be okay, you know that right?" Laura assured her as she helped her into bed.

"What did you mean earlier? About being better than?" Danny asked as Laura pulled the blanket up to her chin.

"When you break a bone, once it heals, it becomes the strongest part of the bone," she smiled. "On the upside your hands will be as hard as rock," she stood up and smiled, "on the downside, once the rest of your bones heal, you probably won't fight at one twenty-five again because your bones will be denser."

"I always had trouble cutting weight for one twenty-five anyway," she smiled weakly.

"Let me get you some water so you can take your meds. You're going to feel like shit for the next week or so, while the bugs die, but you'll be on the road to recovery by the time we get back from New Mexico." She smiled. "Be right back."

Laura walked out to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. She glanced at Carmilla, the brunette still sitting where Laura had left her, staring into her wine glass. She sighed and drew Carmilla's attention.

"Be right back," she told her and returned to find Danny staring at her clasped hands in front of her. She sat beside her and handed her the water bottle.

"Thanks," Danny said quietly as she tried, and failed, to open it.

"Here," Laura offered, awkwardly opened it for her and then did the same with her pain killers.

"Aren't we quite the pair?" Danny joked and took her meds.

"Yeah, well, we'll both be better in no time, thanks to LaF," Laura assured her. "They come up with this healing agent thing, undetectable. All it does is speed up the healing process." She held up her cast. "Between the metal plate and LaF's miracle cure, I should have this thing off when we get back from Vegas."

"When can you start training again?"

"Hopefully by the time Carm gets back from the show," Laura said, her voice catching near the end.

"Hey," Danny said softly as she put an arm around her shoulders, "it's going to be okay."

"I'm happy you're here, Danny," Laura admitted and leaned into her. "And I'm sorry; I didn't know what was going on..."

"I was too ashamed," Danny interrupted, "and angry," she sighed. "I'm sorry too, Laura," Danny's sad tone made Laura meet her eyes. "You were the only good thing in my life at the time; can you blame me for trying to hold on as tight as possible? For trying everything I could to make what we had more?"

"No," Laura sighed, "I get it." She smiled. "You should get some rest," she said as she stood and pulled the blankets back for her. "I'm working on a reason we know Perry and LaF, so just go with it, okay?" she implored as she pulled the blanket over her.

"She makes you happy?" Danny asked, catching her off guard.

"Despite everything," Laura smiled, "very."

"Then I'll follow your lead," Danny assured her. "I know what you've been through Laura, you deserve a little happiness. You both do."

"So do you," Laura replied and kissed her forehead.

"One thing at a time," Danny sighed and closed her eyes. "Shit that stuff hits fast."

"It's the beer you drank," Laura laughed. "You can talk to Dark, while we're gone, he knows a bit about what's going on."

"Okay," Danny propped herself up on her elbows as Laura made to leave. "And Laura, thanks." At her bemused look, Danny continued; "For being my friend, for giving me a second chance."

"I was always your friend, Danny," Laura smiled; "That's the main reason I pushed you away; I was trying to keep you safe."

"I can take of myself," Danny sighed and lay back down. "Not that I don't appreciate the help."

"Goodnight Danny," Laura said fondly as she watched the redhead yawn and close her eyes.

"Goodnight Laura," Danny replied with another yawn as she left and closed the door quietly behind her.

She stopped and regarded her girlfriend a moment, the brunette was staring into her full wine glass again, the look on her face unreadable. Laura shook her head as she walked over, picked up her glass and sat down beside her.

"How hurt is she? I mean really?" Carmilla asked quietly.

"It's not your fault," Laura deflected. "It was a fight; she knew what she was getting into." Carmilla met her eyes a moment and then sipped her wine. "She'll be okay." Carmilla nodded. "Would you have fought her if you'd know she was sick?"

"No," Carmilla replied quietly. "Still doesn't make me feel any better about it."

"I know," Laura answered as she turned to face her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Carmilla replied flatly and sipped her wine again.

"You're not," Laura stated and put her left hand on her wrist. "Carm?" she prodded. "Kitten?" Carmilla smiled slightly and met her eyes. "Do you have any idea how proud of you I am?"

"I only did what any decent human being should do," she countered.

"True," Laura conceded. "But that isn't what I was talking about." Carmilla studied her while Laura figured out exactly what to say. "I saw your last fight, in person," she lied; she'd seen every one of her fights.

"The one where I was DQ'ed?"

"You weren't the same fighter tonight," Laura continued with a nod. "I could see it, the way you were carrying yourself. Yes, you fight on instinct born of fighting for your life for so long, but tonight was different. Tonight you had a plan and kept to it."

"I always go in with a plan," Carmilla corrected quietly. "But Danny..."

"Yes, Danny was moving even slower than usual," Laura finished for her. "Doesn't change the fact that you kicked her ass and probably could have still kicked her ass had she been healthy." She smiled and kissed her cheek. "In fact, I think, if you're not careful, you might just prove Shannon right."

"What do you mean?"

"I think, if you keep training and learning the way you have the last six weeks, you could have a real career in the UFC," she praised to Carmilla's surprised look. "What?" she smiled and kissed her cheek again. "You really are that good," she assured her. "I can't imagine how far you can go if training was all you had to worry about."

"You know what I think?" Carmilla asked quietly as she took Laura's hand. "I think, maybe, with you training at my side and coaching me, you might be right," she sighed. "But what about our travel plans?"

"We can still travel," Laura countered. "You win the show and become champ. Fight, maybe, three times a year. We travel the month after you fight and then train three months," she shrugged. "Heck, we could even travel and train; go to the best trainers around the world, learn everything we can. It could be fun."

"What about your career? What about school?" Carmilla asked despite her smile.

"They'll still be there when we decide to settle down," Laura replied easily. She stood and held her hand out to her. "C'mon, let's take a shower and go to bed," she said as she took her phone from her pocket to check the time and noticed she had another two texts.

"What about your massage?" Carmilla asked once she'd downed the rest of her wine.

"Hmmm..." Laura hummed as Carmilla stood and took her in her arms. "As nice as that sounds," she sighed as Carmilla kissed her neck, "if it's a choice between that and rewarding you for a fight well fought," Carmilla met her eyes, "I choose the latter."

"You didn't answer my question," Carmilla said to her surprise. "How badly is she hurt?"

"Couple of fractured ribs, hairline fracture in her jaw and a bruised liver," Laura reluctantly informed her. "Hey," she urged and kissed her softly, "she's going to be okay." Carmilla nodded and stepped away to lead her toward the bedroom.

"Carm, stop..." she pulled her to a stop as they entered the bedroom. "Deanna did this, not you. She knew, if her plan didn't work out, you'd doubt yourself."

"But..."

"No," Laura interrupted, "you looked amazing tonight and you've come so far in the last six weeks," she kissed away her skeptical look. "You paid your trainers to train you but not to rave to the guys in New Mexico about your sponge-like ability to learn."

"You think I can beat Rose?" Carmilla asked uncertainly.

"Yes," Laura replied firmly despite her own doubts.

"Really?" she prodded.

"Yes, really," Laura smiled. "But the first thing you need to do is believe that you can, okay?" Carmilla nodded. "Let me use the toilet before you come in?" she asked after a brief kiss.

"You've got five minutes," Carmilla growled.

Laura took out her phone the minute she entered the bathroom to read her texts, both were from Rick. "Someone unrelated recognized Deanna, she's been arrested for violating the restraining order," read the first. Her smile faded however as she read the second; "He OD'ed on Heroin, but he's got a host of other stuff in his system. Been there awhile. They're running more tests to see how long. They're keeping him under until most of it's gone. He's stable. Working on somewhere to put him, but under guard here because of Deanna."

"We only tell Carm he was seen heading into Deanna's, nothing more, got it?" she texted.

She quickly undressed and was reaching for the bag to cover her arm when he replied; "Got it." She erased her call logs and texts as she couldn't risk Carmilla seeing them and then turned off her phone before rushing to flush the toilet as she heard Carmilla approaching.

"Should we take your braids out too?" Laura offered as Carmilla turned the shower on.

"We'll do it in the morning," Carmilla answered and helped her secure the bag around her cast. "It looks really cool right after they come out." She blushed, her voice dipping as she added; "Besides, it'll be nice to have it out of the way for a change," her meaning clear as she pinned Laura to the shower wall as soon as they entered.

"Carm?" she sighed, her girlfriend giving her neck one last nip before meeting her eyes. "I'm proud of you for another reason too."

"Yeah?" Carmilla sighed as she stepped back and under the water. "What for?"

"Taking care of Danny," she supplied as she reached for the loofa to wash her. Carmilla shook her head as she added soap to the loofa for her.

"Hey," Laura said as she raised her chin with a finger; "I get it."

"Get what?"

"Get why you feel compelled to help people," Laura answered. "There was no one there to help you when you needed it the most. You know how it feels to suffer alone and can't stand to see someone, anyone, else go through the same thing you did."

"It's more than that," Carmilla confided as Laura started washing her. "When she first got out of the car," she shook her head. "I've seen that look before. The 'Oh my god, I've lost everything, what do I do now?' look. I've seen it in the mirror." She sighed and wiped away a tear. "I saw it a lot just before I met you." She shook her head and met her eyes. "When I see someone suffering..."

"You remember how it feels," Laura supplied and turned her toward the water to rinse off the soap and so she could wash her back. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her once she was done. "You're a good person, Carm, time you accept that. You don't have to beat yourself up for caring, okay?" Carmilla nodded as she turned in her arms and took the loofa from Laura.

She watched as Carmilla washed her, thinking of everything that was going on with Will. She hated keeping this from her but she knew Carmilla wouldn't be able to handle this on top of everything else. She was already worried about how she'd take all the news she, Rick and Frank had agreed to share with her before the Press Conference.

"Babe?" Laura said softly as she turned back to face her. "Can I ask you to promise me something?"

"Anything," Carmilla answered without hesitation.

"You haven't even heard what it is yet," she said with a soft laugh.

"Doesn't matter," Carmilla smiled. "If it's important enough for you to ask, then it's important enough for me to agree."

"Promise me," she started, "that, if there ever comes a time when we argue, or we're angry at each other," she took a deep breath. " _Promise me_ we'll do everything possible to fix us before we give up on us."

"I would never..."

"Please," she pleaded, "promise me?"

"I promise," Carmilla replied and kissed her. "Where is this coming from?"

"It's..." Laura sighed. "Being your bad news filter is a balancing act and sometimes I worry how you're..."

Carmilla interrupted her with a kiss.

"Laura," she smiled, "I trust you and your judgement. I agree with everything you've done for Danny and I appreciate it," Carmilla kissed her again as she was sure her look of uncertainty was clear. "Do I worry, sometimes, that you're keeping something from me that I should know?" She shrugged. "Maybe," she admitted. "But I trust you." Laura kissed her. "And I know, if you mess up once, you'll never do it again, right?" Laura nodded. "Now what do you say we finish up in here," she said as she grabbed a bar of soap and washed Laura between the legs, "and then forget about the real world for the rest of what's left of the night?" She questioned as she turned her toward the wall and thoroughly washed her behind.

"Sounds good to me," Laura sighed, her voice deep as she stepped under the water to rinse herself off. She held her hand out for the soap, stepped forward and pushed Carmilla back into the wall. She washed between her legs and then turned her toward the wall to do her behind.

"Gently," Carmilla advised. "It's been a rough week for my stomach."

Laura ran the soap between her butt cheeks and then put it aside. She pressed her body against hers as she ran her hand around her hip and between her legs.

"Want to make sure you're clean," she whispered into her ear and elicited a shiver from the brunette. She stepped back a little so she could do the same to her behind and then pulled her under the water to rinse away the soap. "I think we're clean, bed?"

Carmilla reached around her and turned off the water.

"Bed," she stated as she pulled her from the shower, picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. She put her down on the bed and then crawled up her body as she licked away the water. Laura went to knot her hand in Carmilla's hair and then realized she couldn't because of the braids so slipped her hand to the base of her neck and guided her up for a kiss by her hair.

"I love you," Laura said, her voice deep.

"I love you, too," Carmilla smiled and kissed her.

Carmilla broke the kiss when the cold wet bag on Laura's arm came in contact with her side. She sat up and straddled her so she could get the bag off and tossed it aside as Laura sat up and took her in her arms.

She kissed and nibbled at Carmilla's neck, her sighs turning to moans as Laura started playing with her left nipple. Carmilla pushed her back down to the bed and started kissing and nibbling her way back down Laura's body again. She stopped at her chest, lavishing each breast with attention, continuing downwards as Laura arched her hips towards her.

As Carmilla's mouth finally descended between her legs Laura felt the real world fall away. Instead of worrying about Will she found herself marveling at her girlfriend's skill and wondering how she knew just how to touch her. Any further thought was cut short as Carmilla entered with two, and then, three fingers.

She put her hand on the top of Carmilla's head as she felt her free hand making its way from her breast, down her back and then under her. She met Carmilla's eyes and nodded. The brunette went back to what she was doing with even more enthusiasm, alternately sucking on, and then licking her clit as she gently entered her other opening with a finger.

"Oh God!" Laura moaned loudly.

Carmilla looked up.

"Don't you dare stop!" she warned.

Carmilla chuckled and went back to work, her mouth and fingers working together to bring her to the edge in minutes. Laura pinched her own nipple and came like she never had before, screaming Carmilla's name as her body shook and vibrated.

She continued to lick her as she withdrew her fingers before kissing her way back up her body.

"You liked that, did you?" she teased into her ear.

"That was," Laura sighed, her body still felt like it was vibrating; "That was intense," she offered as Carmilla met her eyes. "Give me a few minutes to gather myself and I'll gladly return the favour."

"My, um, you know," Carmilla said with a shy smile, "it's sore. Maybe in a few days?"

"Okay," Laura replied and accepted her kiss.

"Be right back," she kissed her again. "I need to wash my hands."

Laura nodded and kissed her before she all but skipped to the bathroom.

"Carmilla Karnstein skipping," she thought and laughed. "Never thought I'd see that."

She raised her hand to her forehead to wipe away the sweat when she realized it was shaking. Carmilla might be the first woman she'd ever slept with, but she was okay with her being the only woman she slept with ever again. Especially if she kept making her feel like a big bowl of jelly.

She sobered as she heard the toilet flush; she hoped, no prayed, that Carmilla would remember the promise she made in the shower. Laura forced a smile as Carmilla returned; she'd just have to make sure she continued to prove her love until the inevitable day the truth came out. Until then, she'd do everything she could to do what she'd done for the last two years; keep her safe. And for now, keeping her safe and happy, meant keeping things from her.

Laura sighed contentedly as Carmilla covered her body with her own. Until that day came, she vowed, she would enjoy every single minute of it in case moments like these came to an end.

She put her dark thoughts aside as Carmilla kissed her, moaning low in her throat as she deepened the kiss and rolled her to her back. She knew, if Carmilla never spoke to her again, she'd cherish each and every memory for the rest of her life, even if they hurt like hell.

Now

(Three weeks, Two Days to Go)

Carmilla stared out the window of the van, the chatter of her teammates not really registering as they left the gym after yet another Team Melendez loss. Only this one didn't really have her team upset; few people liked Heather, so aside from it meaning their losing streak was still unbroken, they didn't really care. No, what had her teammates buzzing was Dana's announcement the day before that Justine, Bec's opponent, was out with a knee injury. It wasn't, however, until he announced her replacement, Tecia, that any goodwill Carmilla's shared dinner had created the weekend before, went out the window.

Both teams were pissed that Tecia was offered the second chance, though granted, for different reasons. Gilbert seemed to think that Bec deserved a 'bye' solely based on the fact that he'd spent time coaching Tecia. That reasoning didn't make much sense to her and Carmilla thought that maybe he was hoping for at least one guaranteed win. But Dana didn't stop there and informed them that Tecia would now be training with Team Pettis. Which pissed off the other team as they felt she didn't deserve a second chance given she'd lost her fight by unanimous decision.

"Oh. My. God!" she finally interjected. "Would you all just stop!"

"What's your problem?" Bec asked.

"You, all of you, bitching about Tecia when I'm pretty sure most of you are just sore you weren't offered the second chance," she informed them as she looked around the van. "Oh come on," she continued due to the many angry looks she was getting, "MMA is an individual sport and we're all here for the same reason; to fight for the UFC, yes?" Some of them nodded. "We all have to do what is best for our own careers, and I know I would have made the same decision she did if I were in her shoes…"

"So you'd have taken a fight against me?" Bec interrupted.

"I wouldn't have been happy about it, but yes," she replied despite the frown on Bec's face. "Look, it's not personal, once I step into the cage the person I'm fighting is just another opponent," she smiled. "Just another stepping stone in the path I'm on."

"Why do you even care?" Lisa asked.

"About Tecia specifically?" she questioned, and received her nod. "I don't," she admitted. "Okay maybe I do, but only inasmuch as she's another fighter I might have to face," she shook her head. "Look, she's getting it from all sides right now and I don't think she should be punished for doing something any one of us would have done in her position." They looked uncomfortably between them. "Besides, what choice did Dana have?" she questioned. "It's not like he has a loser from Team Pettis to use," she looked to those who had already fought and lost; Angela H., Emily, and Lisa; "Sorry," she apologized, "but of the four of you, she took the least damage and is the highest ranked. It only makes sense," she shrugged and looked to Bec. "I love you Bec, you know I do, but this is a tournament for a championship belt and I would have been angrier if someone got a bye in the first round and then won the whole thing than I am about someone getting a second chance and having the bigger hill to climb." Bec raised an eyebrow at her. "She's been training at, maybe, twenty percent since she lost. She has a week and half to train _and_ cut weight. All you have to do is adjust to a new opponent. Plus you have the advantage of having already seen her fight, and lose, and she doesn't. She might be higher ranked but she's got the tougher fight."

"You're not seriously suggesting we leave her alone?" Angela M. asked.

"Yes," she replied firmly.

"Why?" Bec asked. "Don't you want me to win?"

"Of course I do, but pardon me if I think you can beat her fairly rather than beating her down before you fight," she replied despite the look on Bec's face. "I'm sorry, but I was bullied for most of my life, first by my stepmother and then by the kids at all the different schools I went to…"

"Why?" Emily interrupted. "I mean, you're rich, beautiful…"

"Once my dad died she took over my life," she smiled and shook her head as she looked out the window. "I think her favorite one was getting me into one of the most expensive private schools in Vancouver and then sending me in second-hand clothes, with second-hand books and everything." She shrugged. "I was a prime target for the popular girls."

"Why would she do that?" asked Angela H.

"She was trying to break me," Carmilla replied as she looked back to them. "But all she did was make me unable to sit back and watch someone go through what I did. We're all adults here. We're all here for the same reason." She shook her head again. "Personally I just want to get through the next few weeks and go home to my girlfriend," she smiled. "All this stupid drama? I don't need it; I have enough of the real kind at home. If you all feel the need to be bullies, go ahead, but I won't be a part of it."

"Is that why you told us to back off on Heather?" Angela M. asked.

"I can't stand her either, but aren't we all under enough pressure without having to deal with this petty high school bullshit?" she offered and looked to Angela M; "Can you, honestly, tell me all this isn't distracting you from your fight on Friday?" Angela shrugged. She looked to Bec; "You can beat her, you don't need this crap." Bec didn't respond and looked away. "Fine, be angry with me, but you know I'm right." When Bec still didn't answer, she gave up and looked out the window with a sighed; "Whatever."

* * *

After a light dinner Carmilla retreated to the quiet of her room. Most of her team was ignoring her as they weren't happy about being called on their shit. That, or they didn't want to pick sides between her and Bec. She entered her room to find only one person there, Tecia, who seemed to be packing her things.

"Going somewhere?" Carmilla asked conversationally.

"Heard a rumor you guys are going to ask me to change rooms. Figured I'd get it out the way so I can concentrate on my fight," she answered without looking her way.

"Has anyone talked to you?" she asked as she fell onto her own bunk.

"No one is talking to me," Tecia clarified as she turned and sat beside her stuff on her bed.

"I don't know if that'll change but you don't have to change rooms unless it's because you want to," Carmilla informed her. "Do what's best for your game, not theirs."

"Lisa mentioned you told them to back off?"

"I simply pointed out that you shouldn't be punished for doing something any one of them would have done in a heartbeat," Carmilla replied as she turned and sat against the wall. "I know I would have."

"Really?" Carmilla nodded. "But Bec's your friend."

"So?" Carmilla shrugged. "MMA isn't, or shouldn't be anyway, personal. At the end of the day it's an individual sport and we all have to do what is best for our careers." She smiled. "Just, I don't know, give it a day; if they're still making you uncomfortable, I'll help you move your stuff." She laughed. "Hell, the way things are going, I might join you."

"Why?"

"Because they can't decide between what's easy; continuing their bullying bullshit. And what's right; admitting I was right and being decent human beings," she shrugged. "People don't like having their faults pointed out." She looked at her watch as its alarm sounded. She grabbed her journal and a pen, foregoing her nightly cigarette as the upside to all this controversy and today's loss was that she knew when she was going to fight.

She was sure Pettis meant to, originally, have her fight last for a variety of reasons. Not the least of which was to get under her skin. But, with Justine's injury, she had a feeling he wanted to spend as much time training with Tecia as he could. Sure, he wanted to give her time to get ready, but he also wanted to prove he was the better coach.

"Men and their egos," she thought as she stood. "Just ignore them, okay?" she suggested to Tecia and received her nod before leaving.

Carmilla grabbed a bottle of water on her way outside but was surprised to find Angela M. waiting for her at her spot by the pool.

"Bec still angry with me?" she questioned as she sat down beside her.

"She'll get over it," Angela replied neutrally. "That took guts, what you did today."

"Bec expects me to side with her because she's my friend," she sighed and looked up at the moon. "But I can't support someone when they're in the wrong, no matter who they are."

"Fair enough," Angela commented. "Did you want to be alone?"

"That depends," she answered as she looked back to her; "Why did you come out here?"

"I was thinking," Angela sighed and looked down, "I was hoping maybe you're feeling up to hearing my story?" She nodded towards the camera crew. "I'd rather tell you than just a camera crew," she added.

Carmilla studied her a moment and then looked back to the moon as she considered her answer. "Only one question," she said finally as she looked back to her, "you've heard my story, do you think anything you're about to tell me will trigger a flashback?"

"I don't think so," Angela replied after a moment's thought. "But if you think it might, stop me, okay?" Carmilla smiled and nodded.

As she settled in and listened to Angela's story she understood why Angela had chosen her to tell it to; not only did she know Carmilla would understand, she knew she would ask the right questions to keep her story going. The camera crew, for their part, stayed just outside their periphery. One each was on each of their faces while a third was across the pool, filming them both.

"Thanks for listening," Angela said warmly as her story came to an end and she gave her a hug.

"No thanks needed," Carmilla replied, "you did it for me."

"I'll let you have some time alone with Laura," Angela offered as she stood. "I'll go see if Bec's cooled off at all."

"Leave her be," Carmilla countered. "She'll come around or she won't and I'd rather she focus on her fight than on me."

"I don't know that Bec realizes what a good friend you are," Angela said with a smile as she turned and walked away.

Carmilla looked at her watch and sighed when she saw that it was going on ten. She opened her journal to a fresh page, stared at it a moment, sighed, and finally put pen to paper.

"Hey baby," she wrote, "I know I say this every time, but God, I miss you. I miss your laugh, your sighs, your arms, your touch." She wiped away a tear. "But most of all, I miss talking to you. I know this, writing to you, is supposed to help with that, but it doesn't. Well, not much anyway. It's more all the stupid little moments that happen during the day; like this afternoon in the van on the way home; I kept waiting for you to chime in and support me." She chuckled and shook her head. "It's a lot harder standing up for what's right when you're standing alone. This place, though, it brings out the worst in people. I used to think I missed out on having the whole 'normal high school experience' but fuck me if I'm not getting it now! But, for the most part, it's not their fault. I mean, what do you expect when you put sixteen strangers in a house together and, oh by the way, you have to fight each other too?" She sighed and looked towards the house; Team Pettis was celebrating their latest win. "I can't wait until this is over. This being around people constantly? It's more tiring than I thought it'd be.

"I found out when I'm fighting," she continued, not wanting to dwell on the negative; "By this time next week, either I'll be celebrating or commiserating. I feel ready though. Training with these guys has made realize how much I already know and yet, somehow, I'm still learning something new almost every day.

"Well, sweetie, it's getting late and I need to try and sleep despite the party going on. Talk to you again tomorrow, love, C."

She sighed, closed her journal and looked back to the sky; "Twenty-three more days," she said quietly and closed her eyes. "Just twenty-three more days."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the names for minor characters have no real origin. This chapter is an exception as I thought it was high time my unofficial editor and general sounding board of almost the last three years, got a shout out. Thanks for everything buddy seems inadequate, but there you have it.
> 
> On a story related note: Carmilla's time in the house is loosely based on Season 20 of the Ultimate Fighter. It's the main reason I had Carmilla fight Rose as its Rose's place she took on the show. While I'll continue to use some of the things that happened during the season, I'd like to point out that they're altered slightly by Carmilla's influence.


	6. Shit List

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My deepest apologies for the delay but last Friday, the day I normally finish my chapter and get it posted, my laptop decided it needed a day off. It took me another week to finish it because, well, you'll see when you get to the end of the chapter why it was hard to write. The good news is that I've been thinking about the next chapter for months so it should be fairly easy to write and be up by this Friday. Last but not least, please comment… your feedback means the world to me!

Then

(Six Weeks Ago)

Laura was watching Carmilla sleep in the early morning light when she was startled by the vibration of her phone under her pillow. She looked at the clock behind Carmilla and frowned, it was nearly a half hour before her alarm. She slipped her phone out and squinted at the too bright screen; why was Danny calling her? She sent her a quick text letting her know she'd call her back in ten minutes, looked back to her still sleeping girlfriend and sighed. Laura watched as her eyes moved beneath their lids and wondered what she was dreaming about. She looked so young, so innocent, in her sleep. Laura leaned forward and softly kissed her forehead before rolling out of bed and heading to the washroom, slipping on a robe on the way.

"What the hell is Danny doing up at this hour?" she thought; it was only five-thirty in Vancouver. She washed her hands after attending to her needs and then splashed some water on her face. Laura was looking forward to their planned trip to the cabin. Sure they'd have quite a bit of company for the first few days but after that, it would be only the two of them. Well, mostly; Steven and Betty insisted on staying behind but they were camping about a ten-minute walk away. Not to mention ole' Bill Karnstein. As far as the latter was concerned she hoped he kept his distance.

Laura shook her head and made her way out to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee and grab a cigarette. Carmilla hated their one cup coffee maker but Laura had grown quite fond of it and planned to buy one when they got home. Within minutes, she had a steaming cup of coffee and was heading out onto the balcony. She took a moment to appreciate the sunrise; she'd picked this apartment specifically for the view of the sun coming up over the mountains. She figured, if she was going to be up at the crack of dawn to take care of business before Carmilla got up, she might as well enjoy it.

She lit her smoke and called Danny back.

"That was an awfully long ten minutes," Danny teased when she answered.

"Sorry," Laura yawned, "I was barely awake when you called. What's up?"

"I've been talking to Dark," Danny sighed, "I don't know if I can do this, Laura."

"All you have to do is be her friend," Laura countered. "Imagine how I feel?"

"Why lie about your age?" Danny asked.

"Because Frank wiped out any trace of my last six years," Laura sighed. "Not that it matters, Deanna already knows who me and my Dad are."

"What?" She gasped.

"I can't explain right now," Laura deflected. "Look, Danny, I really need you guys in Vegas."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Carm's still at one-nineteen," Laura supplied and looked out towards the horizon. "She's terrified of taking her shirt off in public."

"It's that bad?" Danny asked sadly.

"I tried to count her scars one morning," Laura replied, smiling at the memory. "I stopped at a hundred, about two-thirds of the way through."

"I don't know what you expect me to do," Danny said after a while. "I don't know how you do it, Laura, lying to her every day? I mean, how do you keep it all straight?"

"Because I do everything I can to avoid outright lying whenever I can," she provided. "Dark doesn't know everything," she continued. "Deanna knows who my father is. She may or may not know I'm a cop."

"You'd think if she did she'd have dropped that bomb already," Danny offered.

"Or she's waiting for just right the time," Laura deflected; she wasn't ready to tell Danny the real reason why Deanna wasn't going to show her hand anytime soon. "I haven't told Dark everything because then he doesn't have to lie as much," she sighed. "I'll tell you everything once she's on the show but it'll be easier for you the less you know."

"You don't think you can trust me?" Danny asked edgily.

"It's not that," Laura soothed. "But I can't risk you slipping up."

"Whatever," Danny dismissed. "You didn't answer the question; what do you expect me to do?"

"Cheer her on at the weigh-ins," she replied simply. "And I have to meet with Dana Sunday morning. I might need you to distract her if she wakes up before I get back."

"As in Dana White?" Danny asked, not quite hiding her awe.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I think he has some concerns," she trailed off at the sound of the toilet flushing behind her. "I have to go."

"Rick told me you need to call Ann, whatever that means," Danny said quickly.

"Thanks," Laura rushed out, "Will I see you on Friday?"

"Fine, but you owe me," Danny said before hanging up.

She slipped the phone into her pocket as the balcony door opened behind her. Laura sighed as Carmilla wrapped her arms around her, kissed her cheek and then propped her chin on her shoulder.

"Morning," Carmilla greeted as Laura turned and then kissed her softly.

"Good morning," she replied as they parted.

"You're missing the sunrise," Carmilla said and turned her back to it. "Is this why you get up so early?"

"I get up before the temptation to wake you up gets too great," Laura replied. "You need your sleep."

"Good answer," Carmilla chuckled.

Laura shivered and Carmilla led her back inside and over to the kitchen.

"Everything okay?" Carmilla questioned as she made her coffee.

"Yeah, why?" Laura replied as she got their breakfast ready.

"I don't know," Carmilla shrugged and got them a couple of bowls, "you've just been a little quiet the last couple of days."

"I've had a lot on my mind," she answered as she poured cereal into their bowls.

"Anything I should be worried about?" Carmilla asked.

"Yes," Laura thought but replied; "I don't know yet," she sighed, it was mostly true. "I'm going to meet you at the gym for lunch, if that's okay, I need to make some calls." She felt Carmilla's hand at the base of her neck and turned to meet her eyes.

Carmilla searched her eyes a moment.

"Okay," she finally said and kissed her softly. "What did you want to do this afternoon?"

"I have a surprise for you," Laura replied mysteriously. "I thought we'd get some lunch, do a little shopping and then I'll take you to your surprise."

"Or," Carmilla started as she went to stand behind her, "we could just come back here and spend the afternoon in bed," she finished, her voice low as she kissed her neck. "You know, since we're sharing a suite with the Xanders in Vegas?"

"It's only for a few nights," Laura sighed as one of Carmilla's hands snuck beneath the front of her robe.

"True," she accepted as she turned her around and pinned her to the counter, "but then we go from there to the cabin with a bunch of people."

"Tell you what," Laura said as she pushed her away, "I'll make it up to you tonight and…" Carmilla interrupted her with a kiss. "And," she smiled, "I plan to make our one month anniversary on Sunday very memorable."

"Oh really?" Carmilla chuckled.

"Very," she smiled, kissed her and then pushed her away. "Now, c'mon, you need to eat before you go."

"Sure, coach," Carmilla replied with a chuckle as she grabbed their bowls and carried them to the table.

Laura stifled a sigh of relief as she joined her at the table, grateful that Carmilla wasn't pushing her for answers. She really didn't have many to give her yet. Rick was still trying to figure out where and how Will had gotten his hands on so many drugs. The first tip he'd gotten, about someone stealing drugs from one dealer to pay off another, turned out to be a dead end. So far their only theory was that Will had been stockpiling the drugs to set Carmilla, or someone else at the gym, up, and that he was waiting for the right time. They still had no idea what really happened the night of his overdose, or why he'd run to Deanna. Perhaps she'd get some answers once she called Ann.

Laura smiled; Dr. Ann Spielsdorf. They'd met when Laura had been pursuing her first masters in Psychology. She was only fifteen and taking classes with people three years, and more, older than her. She was used to it, of course, being around people older than her. After her mother died she spent most of her time with her father and he'd always treated her like an adult. Ann had taken her under her wing, watching out for her and making sure she didn't spend all of her time alone. The two had grown close and together had the highest marks in their year once they started studying together.

"Laura?" Carmilla prompted, startling her as she found her standing behind her. "You sure you're okay?" she asked as she massaged her shoulders. "You're so tense."

"I'm fine," she sighed and looked up to her, "really."

"If you say so," Carmilla answered, clearly unconvinced. She leaned down to give her a quick kiss. "I'm going to get dressed." She kissed her again, lingering a moment before pulling away at a knock at the door. "Tell Betty I'll be right out," she said and quickly kissed her again before heading to the bedroom.

"Coffee?" Laura offered Betty once she let her in.

"No, thanks," Betty answered as she sat at the table. Laura sat across from her and found herself being studied. "How are you holding up?" Laura shrugged and sipped her coffee. "It's only a few more weeks, right? You're still planning to tell her the truth when she gets back, right?" Laura nodded. "She cares for you, Laura, it's going to be okay."

"I wish everyone would stop saying that," Laura said quietly and met her eyes. "You don't know, none of you do."

"No," Betty answered and reached for her hand, "but neither do you." She smiled. "What do you keep telling Carmilla?"

"The first step to beating Rose is believing she can?" Laura offered.

"Exactly," Betty replied with a squeeze of her hand, "and the first step to you guys being okay is believing you will be."

"It's not that simple," Laura countered.

"I know," Betty agreed.

"It's safer to plan for the worst and hope for the best," Laura added and looked to the bedroom as Carmilla joined them. "You ready to go?" she asked her as she stood and took her into her arms. Carmilla nodded and kissed her softly.

"I miss you already," Carmilla whispered into her ear and then kissed her cheek.

"It's only a few hours," Laura reminded her.

"I wasn't talking about today," Carmilla replied with a wink. "Shall we?" she said as she motioned Betty towards the door. She turned at the door and smiled; "Love you, Pup," she blew her a kiss. "See you for lunch."

Laura smiled as the door closed behind them, sighed, and put her head in her hands; she wasn't sure how much longer she could do this. She rubbed her eyes to stem her tears and then went to make a fresh cup of coffee before calling Ann.

As she waited for her coffee she realized it was still quite early in Vancouver and decided to get dressed first. She went to the bedroom and pulled out a pair of shorts, t-shirt, and sports bra. She'd found a Squash court in town and planned to take Carmilla there after lunch. They'd have to stop by a sports store to grab gear first, but she'd found one on the way to the courts that carried everything they'd need.

Once Laura was dressed she retrieved her coffee from the kitchen, grabbed another cigarette and headed back onto the balcony. She lit her smoke and dialed Ann's number, wondering, idly, if it was too early when her friend answered.

"Hey kiddo," Ann greeted, "I'll call you back in five, okay?"

"Sure," Laura replied and hung up.

She stared out over the mountains as she smoked; she was worried about Will. More precisely she was worried that Deanna had revealed to him who she really was and would tell Carmilla the first chance he got. "No," she thought, "there's no way she'd trust him with that."

Further speculation was put on hold when the phone rang.

"Sorry, I was just finishing up with a patient," Ann apologized when she answered.

"No worries," Laura sighed, "how is he?"

"Honestly?" Ann replied. "I'm not sure. Physically he's recuperating, or he was anyway."

"What happened?" Laura hissed.

"I finally got him to talk to me a couple of days ago by promising him that we'd discuss the possibility of him seeing Deanna," she started. "Laura, either he's an even better actor than you are or he's a very sick young man."

"Which do you think it is?" Laura asked.

"He's showing classic symptoms of DID," she replied. "Almost too classic, if you know what I mean. During our conversation, I met no fewer than three different alters. Each one age appropriate to the time of his life he was talking about. He insists that Deanna never touched him inappropriately until they got married…"

"Married?" Laura spat out along with the mouthful of coffee she'd taken.

"Don't worry, I already talked to Frank," Ann assured her. "Apparently they got married a few days after his nineteenth birthday but she never filed the paperwork to make it legal."

"That doesn't make any sense," Laura shook her head, "unless she knew her plan to frame someone at the gym for drugs was going to backfire."

"Laura, there's more," Ann started tentatively. "He says Deanna never laid a hand on Carmilla. He was pretty convincing."

"That fits with what I've read in her journals, though," Laura replied. "Deanna is many things, but stupid isn't one of them."

"So you believe Carmilla's version?"

"If you'd seen her scars," she started sadly, "or read her journals, you wouldn't be asking me that. The shit Deanna did to her? It's twisted and not exactly something someone could make up." She sighed. "Deanna was careful to make sure she never got caught in the act and anyone who might have questioned her was quickly silenced." She took a long drag of her smoke. "So yes, I believe her." She exhaled. "You think he's faking it?"

"I don't know," Ann admitted. "He clammed up when I told him I didn't think it was in his best interest to see Deanna right now. When he asked why I told him she was the reason he was so sick, that she'd been feeding him drugs for years to make him more pliable to her will." She took a deep breath that, even over the phone, Laura could tell was shaky. "He attacked me Laura, or tried to," she sighed. "Thankfully he was restrained at the time. He started refusing the meds we were giving him to repair the damage so he's been restrained full time with an IV of drugs and sedatives to keep him safe."

"Safe?"

"Refusing treatment is the same as a suicide attempt," she clarified. "He clearly doesn't have his own best interests in mind."

"Has he said anything about me?" Laura asked even if she dreaded the answer.

"Only that you're a gold-digger after Carmilla's money," Ann answered.

"Of course," Laura sighed in relief. "Do you think he'd be up for a visit from his sister on Monday?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Ann replied carefully.

"You're afraid he'll hurt her?" she questioned. "Or that she'll hurt him?" she pressed when her friend didn't answer. "Carm needs answers and he has them."

"And if does know who you are and outs you?"

"I doubt he does know," Laura countered. "Like I said, Deanna isn't stupid. She won't use that information until she's sure it'll do the most damage and not blow up in her face. She sure as hell wouldn't risk giving Will that time bomb."

"And you're sure you're willing to risk that?" Ann prodded.

"I have an idea," Laura started thoughtfully, "what if he talks to Dark first?"

"I'm listening."

"I'm going to suggest to Carm that Danny talks to him first. That he might tell Danny things he won't tell her," she paused. "But, at the last minute, we'll change it to Dark."

"Why?"

"He knows Dark has a temper just as bad as Carm's," she supplied. "After the shit he's been saying about Dark he'll be terrified of him. By the time Carm goes in to talk to him he'll be too afraid to poke the bear in case she goes off on him."

"You want your girlfriend to feel in control of the situation?"

"Yes," she replied. "More importantly, I want Deanna to know just how much we've figured out."

"You're not suggesting we let him see her?"

"I am," Laura confirmed. "Once Carm has left for the show." She took a deep breath. "I'm planning to unleash hell on that woman once Carm's gone and having her frightened by how much we already know is the first step."

The silence stretched for a few minutes before Ann asked; "And how are you holding up Laura?"

"About as well as can be expected, I guess," Laura replied with a sigh as she butted her cigarette out and went back inside to sit on the couch.

"And the nightmares?" Ann prodded.

"I've only had one since I started sharing Carm's bed," she supplied with a blush. "She makes me feel safe, you know?"

"Tell me about it, the nightmare," Ann offered.

"It was the morning after Carm's fight with Danny," she said as she closed her eyes and rubbed them with her free hand. "I dreamt she found out the truth and left me for Danny."

"So, not the usual nightmares then?"

"No," Laura smiled, "I haven't had any of those for a while."

"Good, and how's Carmilla's PSTD doing?" Ann questioned.

"She's fine as long as she doesn't talk about the past," Laura replied sadly. "I'm worried about what's going to happen on the show when she tapes her confessional."

"You've been teaching her how to handle the panic attacks?" Ann asked.

"Yeah but the only thing that seems to work is me holding her," Laura replied.

"Then tell her, if someone offers her comfort, that she should take it," Ann suggested, continuing when Laura didn't comment. "It's a house full of women, right?"

"Right."

"Even straight women have been known to hold their straight friends when they're upset," Ann prompted. "As long as she can make a couple of friends she should be fine but…"

"But?"

"You have to tell her you're okay with her doing that," Ann suggested, "Or she might feel guilty about it."

"Right," Laura sighed, "what's one more lie after all?"

"Laura it's not about you," Ann reminded her. "You want to help her? Get her and Will out from under Deanna's thumb?"

"You know I do."

"Then tell her to do whatever she has to to keep it together," Ann replied firmly. "You can't go with her to hold her hand, let her take comfort if she can get it, okay? If she loves you as much as you say she does that's all it would ever be, comfort."

"I know you're right," Laura sighed, "I just wish she didn't have to go at all."

"But this was your plan!" Ann laughed. "Get her on the show to keep her safe and then go after Deanna directly?" she reminded her.

"I never should have told you," Laura teased. From the moment she heard rumors about the Ultimate Fighter, she knew it was her best chance to keep Carmilla protected from the fallout that a direct assault would surely incur. "I've got to go, I have other calls to make."

"Alright, kiddo," Ann answered fondly. "Take care."

"You too," Laura smiled, "and let me know if anything changes with him."

"I will," she answered and ended the call.

She went to grab her laptop and starting checking her emails as she made a few calls to Vegas. There was one from Frank dated a few days earlier and she was immediately grateful she hadn't opened it sooner. He'd finally found proof that Will had never been in Montreal beyond the times Carmilla was there with him. Not only that, but he hadn't attended a single class. Frank was still working on finding the boy who'd taken Will's classes for him. He also mentioned the 'marriage' and that Deanna found herself in a catch twenty-two; make it legal and have her assets frozen along with Will's or don't and be denied access to him because of the restraining order. It was only a matter of time, Laura thought, before Deanna found a way around that.

Laura finished her call to the hotel and then called a hairdresser they'd recommended. She sighed as she waited for her call to be answered; that was another problem, Perry. Her curly-haired actor friend wanted out. Laura had started out managing Carmilla's career through Bob, when he retired, she convinced Perry to take on the role. With things becoming more dangerous, she couldn't blame her for wanting out. But it wasn't just that, Perry had been offered a couple of roles in Toronto and Laura understood that she had to consider her own career and future. Laura had convinced Perry to wait until they were up at the cabin to tell Carmilla though, as she was concerned it might distract her before her fight. Laf would go with her, of course, after all, they could do their research no matter where they were. Laura would miss two of her best friends but she didn't begrudge them their happiness and safety.

Laura finished the rest of her calls, including one to Carmilla's tattoo artist in Vegas to confirm their appointment for Sunday. She rubbed the unblemished skin of her right wrist as she went to grab her running shoes and wallet. It was still early but she figured she could use a run before they headed to the Squash courts. She tied up her shoes and then stared at her wrist again. Maybe she was being silly, but she hoped, in the end, it would serve as further proof of her love.

__________________________

Later that night Laura lay comfortably on the couch in Carmilla's arms after the movie they'd watched ended. Carmilla had been surprised when Laura had shown up earlier than expected and then excited when Laura revealed her surprise. They'd grabbed lunch on the way to the store and then made a salesclerk's day when they bought everything they needed to play Squash and racked up a huge bill. Laura had played Racquetball in University and memorized the rules of Squash on the way to pick Carmilla up. She was actually looking forward to blowing off a little steam. It had been a lot of fun once Carmilla stopped holding back and played for real. She was still better than Laura but she had managed to hold her own.

They'd hopped in the shower the minute they got home but were interrupted before things could get interesting by the Xanders arriving to make dinner. The two couples had taken turns making dinner, always following Carmilla's menu, since they'd arrived.

"Should we head to bed?" Carmilla suggested as she reached for the remote to turn off the television.

"Can we talk about something first?" Laura asked as she sat up, met her eyes and took her hand.

"Sure Pup, what's up?" Carmilla asked with a smile.

"I've been thinking about what's going to happen when you do your confessional," she started carefully.

"So have I," Carmilla admitted with a sigh. "I think I'm going to ask them if I can get it over with as soon as possible, so I can, you know, recover before I have to fight."

"But you don't know when you're going to fight," Laura countered.

"I have a feeling I'll be fighting closer to the four-week mark," Carmilla reasoned. "My coach will want to give me more time to recover from my fight with Rose and the other coach will want to give their fighter enough time to prepare to fight me, thanks to my number seven seeding."

"True, but…" Laura gathered her nerve, "I think you should find a couple of teammates to trust, maybe ask them to join you when you tape your confessional."

"Okay, but why?"

"Because I think, once they've heard your story, they might be willing to help you with the aftermath," she started carefully. "If they offer you physical comfort, you should take it."

"Laura , I…"

"No," she interrupted firmly, "I know how you get when you have a nightmare and it's bound to be worse when you wake up in an unfamiliar place. If someone is willing to help, you should let them."

"Only if you promise to do the same," Carmilla replied quietly.

"What are you talking about?" Laura asked in confusion.

"I'm saying, if you need a shoulder to lean on while I'm gone, I'm okay with that shoulder being Danny's," she suggested to her surprise.

"No, I don't think…" Laura stammered.

"Because she still has feelings for you?" Carmilla asked, and she nodded. "Do you still have feelings for her?" She asked and Laura could hear the insecurity behind her question.

"I never had 'feelings' for her," Laura clarified. "I liked her, yes, liked her company, but I was never interested in her that way." Carmilla relaxed. "But I know how she feels about me, I can't put her in that position."

"Maybe that's not your choice to make?"

"And maybe I don't want her to have to make that choice," Laura suggested. "Besides, I'll be fine." She kissed her softly. "It's you I'm worried about."

"It wouldn't be the same," Carmilla said softly. "Sure, having someone hold me might help but it wouldn't be you," she kissed her, lingering a moment before pulling her away. "You make me feel safe. You remind me that I'm in the present and that I'm loved," she shook her head. "You make be believe the past can't hurt me anymore."

"Then that's what you remember," Laura smiled. "Remember, even if you're in someone else's arms; remember how I make you feel when I hold you." She leaned in and kissed her softly. "And remember I'm waiting for you to come home."

Now

(Two Weeks, Two Days to Go)

Carmilla woke with a groan as she fumbled with her watch, trying to kill its alarm before it woke her roommates. She quickly managed to shut it off and then listened a moment to see if she'd bothered anyone. She sighed in relief and rubbed her face; maybe asking to go for an early morning run had been a bad idea. She looked at the pictures on her wall and smiled; no, she needed to clear her head.

She sat up and checked to see if she'd woken anyone and was surprised to find Bec's bed empty. She glanced at the bathroom door as she gathered her clothes and found it open. "Weird," she thought; Bec wasn't usually an early riser. She used the bathroom and changed into her running clothes; there were a few things missing from her pre-fight routine, namely her music, but a run alone, away from the house, might be just what she needed to focus.

She returned to her room, threw her pajamas on her bed, sat, laced up her runners, took one last look at her pictures and headed downstairs. She checked the time as she headed into the kitchen; she'd arranged with the camera crew to go for a run at seven; it was barely six-thirty so she had time to grab a bite to eat. She looked up and was surprised to find Bec standing by the coffee machine.

It had been a rough week and the two hadn't spoken since Carmilla had confronted most of her team and asked them to leave Tecia alone. Of the eight people on her team, only Heather and Tecia had been absent. Heather was off at the hospital getting checked out after getting her ass kicked by Felice and Tecia was forced to ride with Team Pettis after getting switched the week before. Ironically the two had been her friends' main targets. She still wasn't sure it had been good idea to confront all of them at the same time; perhaps she should have talked to Bec alone first, she wasn't sure, but she knew something had to be said. In retrospect, maybe she'd done it so no one was singled out and they had an outsider in Lisa to verify to the others that it had happened at all.

But it hadn't been just Bec. Once she'd mentioned to Angela M. not to choose between her and Bec, word had gotten around and the others in their little clique had chosen to spend time with Bec instead of her. When Emily had found herself alone with her one night she'd asked her why. Carmilla had replied that Bec needed them more than she did, she was used to being alone and training alone, she'd be okay. She wasn't sure if word had gotten back to Bec, but if it did she had her explanation ready; she was only doing what she thought was best for both of them, ending the conflict so it didn't distract either of them from their fights. And frankly? She needed a break from everyone.

"Morning?" Carmilla greeted tentatively as she walked up behind the Aussie at the counter and noticed she had two cups. Bec didn't reply but slid one of the cups towards her, the coffee already made the way she liked it. "Thanks."

"Heard you're going for a run," Bec said and looked out the window. "Mind if I join you?"

"Really?" Carmilla blurted.

"If you don't mind the company?" Bec replied with a small smile.

"I usually rather enjoy your company," Carmilla answered and bumped her shoulder with her own. "Go get your shoes, we leave at seven."

"I know, I talked to the crew last night," she answered as she left to get ready.

"It's a start," she thought as she made her breakfast of cereal and yogurt. She headed out to the balcony with her coffee and cereal, put her coffee aside as she took a seat and started eating her breakfast. Invariably her thoughts drifted to home. With the end in sight, she couldn't help but wonder what was going on. Some of the questions rattling around her head were: "Have Laura and Danny finished typing up her journals yet? Is Will doing any better? Is everyone okay?" being the most frequent.

She shook her head as she realized the spoon in her mouth was empty. She'd been so lost in thought she'd eaten it all without even noticing. She downed the rest of her lukewarm coffee as Bec joined her.

"Warm up a little before we go?" She suggested as she noticed the gathering camera crew. Bec nodded and the two headed out to the back lawn to warm up and stretch; neither could afford an injury this close to their respective fights. They didn't talk as they warmed up, only stopping when one of the crew called out to them to ask if they were ready to go.

"Why did you pick this ungodly hour to go for a run?" Bec asked as they followed the camera crew to the front of the house.

"Because it rarely gets as hot as it is now midday in Vancouver," she answered. "And my gym is, pretty much, right on the water, so it's even a little cooler than that." She shrugged as they took to the road; "I don't like the heat so this was the best time for me to go."

They jogged in silence for a while, though it wasn't uncomfortable. Carmilla had planned to use her run to start visualizing her fight, but since Bec was part of what was distracting her, she reasoned a chance to talk with her alone might be just as good. Besides, it was early yet so she had plenty of time for visualizing later.

"Bec?" Carmilla said with a glance at her. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Bec laughed.

"I should have talked to you alone first," she answered, "but I didn't want to single anyone out. I love all you guys, I do," she said as she came to a stop and faced her, "But I meant what I said; I've been bullied and manipulated most of my life. I get trying to throw off your opponent before your fight; any advantage, right?" Bec didn't respond. "But what you guys have been doing? To Heather and Tecia?" She shook her head. "That's just being bullies, I can't be a part of that, it's not in my nature." She studied her a moment. "If I thought for a second someone was doing to you what you've been doing to them?" She suggested. "I'd do everything I could to stop it." She started walking backward. "We're all under enough stress in here, why add more with this bullshit?" She shook her head. "I don't know about you but I'd rather focus on why I came here." She chuckled. "Besides, I've rather enjoyed my alone time this week."

"That why you told everyone to hang out with me?" Bec asked neutrally.

"Partially," Carmilla shrugged, turned, started jogging again and then continued when Bec caught up. "I'm not used to being around this many people for so long, I needed a break." She glanced over at Bec. "I've been the bully before," she admitted, "in high school it was easier than being bullied and after I ran," she shrugged, "it was easier than trusting someone. I didn't go out of my way to be mean to people, but I was mean to keep people away," she glanced at Bec, "Does that make any sense?"

"I guess," Bec shook her head. "You've got guts, mate, I'll give you that," she smiled, "Takes a lot of nerve, not only to say something but to stand up to a friend in the wrong too."

"So we're still friends?" Carmilla asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Bec chuckled and gave her a one-armed hug as they ran, "wouldn't have been as pissed if I didn't care about you."

"Same," Carmilla laughed and came to a stop at the direction of the camera crew in front of them.

"We need to head back," they informed them as the two vehicles changed places for the run back.

"Bec?" she started and waited for the Aussie to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, though, I could have handled it better."

"You said part of the reason was wanting time alone? Why you told everyone to spend time with me. Was the rest because you think I'm weak? That I need their support but you don't?" Bec questioned.

"I'm used to being on my own," Carmilla offered, "In a lot of ways I still prefer it. I don't think you're weak Bec, far from it. They don't have fights to worry about, we do. I figured if they were arguing about who to spend time with it would only distract us both."

"Fair enough," Bec smiled and started jogging back in the direction they'd come. "So, how have you been?"

"I'm doing okay," she sighed. "Worried about what's going on at home."

"But you said they promised to tell you if something bad happened?"

"Anything seven or higher," she confirmed.

"Seven or higher?" Bec questioned.

"I have a shit list," Carmilla informed her. "A seven is someone is missing or kidnapped. Eight is someone is dead, but not anyone I necessarily care about. A nine is someone I care about is dead and a ten is two or more of any of the others."

Bec came to a stop, the shock clear on her face.

"And any of that is a possibility?" she asked.

"Not only a possibility but a likelihood the longer I'm here without any news," she replied matter-of-factly. "She knows why I came here. She knows what will happen the minute the show airs," she shook her head and started jogging again. "The one thing you need to understand about my stepmother is that there is nothing she isn't capable of," she glanced at her, "Nothing."

"Seriously?"

"She's smart and she's rich," Carmilla replied wryly as she realized she's also described herself, "and there's nothing she wouldn't do to get me off the show. That's what scares me. The longer I'm here, the more desperate she'll be. The more desperate she is, the worse the news will be if it comes."

"But it's only two more weeks," Bec reminded her, "surely if she was going to do something she'd have done it by now."

"Or maybe she has but it hasn't been bad enough to tell me," Carmilla countered darkly. She shook her head and sped up a bit. "But I can't worry about that right now," she continued when Bec matched her pace. "I need to focus on my fight tonight." She glanced at her and smiled. "Race you the rest of the way back?"

"Sure!" Bec laughed and sped off.

Carmilla laughed as she picked up her own pace and fell in behind Bec. She knew they were still about fifteen minutes from the house and she was saving her energy for one final sprint. She cleared her mind as they ran, putting aside all the worst-case-scenarios running around her head and focusing on the task at hand; her fight later that day.

They turned the final corner, and with the house in view, Carmilla sped up and passed her, running full out until she ran up the driveway. She turned as she stopped and watched as Bec caught up, the Aussie decidedly out of breath whereas Carmilla was already catching hers.

"You…" Bec stammered, "you planned that?" Carmilla laughed and nodded. "You're hardly out of breath!" she accused.

"I spent the last month before I came here at high altitude and I've been working my ass off since I got here," Carmilla supplied with a shrug. "The harder I work out, the less I think." She regarded her a moment. "We okay?"

Bec engaged her in a sweaty hug and replied; "Yeah, we're good."

___________________________

The rest of the day passed quickly. Carmilla and Bec both made for the shower as soon as they got in and then Carmilla got dressed and waited for the hairdresser to come and do her cornrows. She was so tired of her hair. Sure, she loved it, but the process of getting it braided every time she fought was getting tedious and it was always getting in her way while she trained. Not to mention how hot it was on the back of her neck. She was almost tempted to shave her head like Rose had, but she liked her hair too much for that.

"We're ready for you Miss Karnstein," the hairdresser pulled her from her musings. She followed her into a room set aside to do the fighters' hair and took a seat across from a large mirror. "Cornrows?" the hairdresser asked in a bored voice as she ran her hands through Carmilla's hair.

"Yes, but, if it's not too much trouble, I was wondering if you could braid it to about here," she indicated a spot just above her shoulders, "and then cut off the rest?"

"Are you sure?" Carmilla nodded. "That's a good six inches," she prodded.

"I know," she smiled, "it's been driving me nuts but I don't want to cut it all off either. I know how long I want my braids to be but don't really care how long it is when it's loose so long as I can still pull most it into a ponytail."

"If you're sure," the hairdresser said again.

"I am," Carmilla smiled and closed her eyes as the hairdresser started working on her hair.

She cleared her mind of all the thoughts clouding it and focused on just one; Laura. She let memories of their time together flow from one to the next. Training, planning, laughing. Through it all, Laura's belief in her came through. She wasn't a fool, she knew most of the progress she'd made before leaving for the show was thanks to Laura. Carmilla hadn't realized it, at the time, but Laura had been subtly correcting her form all along. Teaching her without her even knowing it. She'd only caught on when, the night before they left for Vegas, she'd been reviewing some of the early tapes of her and Laura sparring to see how far they'd each come.

For no apparent reason, Laura started throwing her right hook weird. Carmilla had stopped her and showed her the right way to do it. Or she thought she had. As she'd watched she noticed that Laura kept adjusting until she'd corrected her own swing.

"Still sure?" the hairdresser interrupted her thoughts.

"Still sure," Carmilla confirmed and closed her eyes again.

The last four weeks of training had Carmilla wondering about just how much Martial Arts training Laura really had. In her darker moments she contemplated; if Laura had lied about that, what else was she lying about? And why lie about it in the first place? She sighed; maybe too much time alone the last week had been a bad thing after all. This place, it was messing with her head.

"Alright, you're done," the hairdresser announced.

"Thanks," Carmilla replied warmly as she checked out her hair. "Normally I'd give you a tip but…"

"Don't worry about it," she dismissed and waved her out of the room.

Carmilla checked the time and went to the kitchen for something to eat and to prepare her pre-fight meal before taking a short nap; the Vegas heat was still getting to her. She was woken with a half hour left to go before leaving for the gym. She quickly dressed and then downed her meal along with a sports drink. She grabbed another and made for the van when the camera crew summoned her.

She stared out the window on the short trip, finally visualizing her upcoming fight to calm the butterflies in her stomach. Carmilla couldn't remember the last time she was this nervous before a fight. Then again, never had so much been riding on it. Losing was not an option if she wanted to have her whole story told. Each win gave the producers another chance to include more of the two-hour confession she'd given. Every win also meant there would be more interest in her story. She was still more anxious about her next fight, but she knew overlooking Alex was a mistake.

"One thing at a time," she reminded herself. She didn't have to worry about Joanne if she didn't first beat Alex. She started going over the game plan she and her coaches had come with; basically, hit her fast, often, and end it quickly. She had, potentially, two more fights in the next two weeks so it was imperative she get out unscathed.

Carmilla followed the crew into the gym and then separated from them to go into the gym itself. She stopped at the door and turned to the cameramen following her; "I just want a few minutes to walk around the Octagon if that's okay?" They nodded and followed as she walked over to the cage and walked inside. She did a lap, trailing her hand along the chain link as she thought of Laura and all the things she'd be telling her right now.

"You can do this Kitten," she'd assure her passionately. "She's nothing but another stepping stone, right?" Carmilla would nod as she stared into Laura's eyes. "Put it all aside, baby, all the rage, all the sadness, and fight like you've never fought before."

Carmilla smiled and closed her eyes; Laura had said those very words to her when she'd expressed her doubts about doing well on the show. She was no longer doing this just for herself. She wasn't even doing it just to make sure Deanna finally paid for her crimes. No, she was doing it for Laura. For Laura and their future together. Maybe that was the most important reason after all.

She made her way back to the locker room and sat to have her hands taped up. Carmilla couldn't help but think of the last time she'd had them done; Laura stood behind her, her thumb rubbing the back of her neck. She dropped her head and closed her eyes as a wave of calm washed over her; "Funny," she thought, "how just imagining you here helps me," she laughed under her breath; Alex didn't stand a chance.

Carmilla let her coaches run her through her warm-up, not really thinking about much except what she planned to do once she entered the cage. Before she knew it she could hear the others yelling as Alex made her way to the gym. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths to calm her nerves.

"I can do this," she thought. "She's just another stepping stone."

She looked up and opened her eyes at a tap on her shoulder.

"Show time," she quipped as she followed them out into the hall and over to the door leading to the gym. She took a deep breath and pushed both doors as hard as she could as she entered. Finally, she started tapping into the anger, the rage, that had gotten her this far.

That didn't last long, though; once she'd turned to give Laura one last kiss after the referee had applied the Vaseline to her face, and remembered why she was there. Her teammates cheering her on, her coaches' last minute instructions and even Dana's pre-fight instructions, all barely registered as she stared at her opponent across the cage.

"You ready?" the ref asked her and she nodded.

He asked Alex the same, who also nodded before going to meet Carmilla in the middle of the cage. They tapped gloves and then settled back into their fighting stances, studying each other as they circled.

"Fuck this," Carmilla thought and smiled, lunging forward with two stiff left jabs to Alex's face. The Aussie stepped back, shook her head, and reset. "You're going to regret that," she thought as she pressed forward, this time her two left jabs were followed by a right uppercut which sent her stumbling back into the cage. Carmilla could see she had her stunned and had to act quickly; deciding to get the win the easy way rather than take the chance she would recover enough to fight back, she took Alex's back and slipped her right arm beneath her chin. Alex struggled until Carmilla braced her right arm with her left, completing the rear-naked choke and sending her to sleep.

Carmilla released the hold at the ref's tap and carefully lowered Alex to the ground. She knelt beside her as she waited for her to come to and smiled when she finally opened her eyes.

"I lost, didn't I?" Alex asked after spitting out her mouth guard.

""Fraid so," Carmilla laughed as she stood, "Thanks for the fight."

She turned to Bec and Angela's waiting arms, hugging them tight in celebration of their team's first win. She couldn't help but smile at their joy, laughing as the referee finally ushered them out of the cage to announce the official decision.

"Winner by rear-naked choke," the referee announced; "Carmilla Karnstein!" he finished as he held her arm aloft.

Her team cheered again and followed her to the locker room. She tuned them out as she removed her gloves and the tape from her hands. She was still smiling as she imagined the look on Laura's face when they finally watched the fight together on TV. Carmilla couldn't help but think she'd be proud of her.

__________________________________

Carmilla had excused herself from the party in her honor early, the emotional and physical stress of the last four weeks had caught up with her. All it took was a couple of beers and she could feel her eyelids drooping. She made it all the way to bed and collapsed on it when she realized she'd missed her nightly visit with Laura. She smiled; given the circumstances, she didn't think Laura would mind.

A few hours later she found herself being shaken awake by a pale-faced Bec.

"Bec, what is it? What's wrong?" she questioned as she sat up.

"Dana's here," Bec replied. "He needs to talk to you."

Carmilla looked at the time; two o'clock in the morning could only mean bad news. Very bad news.

"Fuck," Carmilla hissed, sobering immediately. She grabbed her bag, fumbled through it a moment before realizing anything she'd need while she was home would already be there. She pocketed her smokes and lighter before turning to Bec with her journal in hand. "Do me a favor while I'm gone?"

"Gone?"

"Whatever happened? It's gotta be bad for Dana to come here at this time," she explained. "I'll try to be back in time for your fight but I can't make any promises."

"No worries," Bec replied despite her confusion. "What did you need me to do?"

"Hold onto this," she said as she handed her her journal. "I wouldn't want anyone here to read it, but considering what I've written in it, I doubt Dana would want me to take it with me."

"I'll guard it with my life," Bec assured her as she hugged it to her chest.

"I doubt that'll be necessary," Carmilla chuckled as she hugged her. "If I don't make it back it time, kick her ass, okay?"

"I'll try my best," Bec said as they parted. "Go on, better not keep him waiting."

"Right," she sighed. "Thanks, Bec."

Bec shook her head and motioned her out the door.

"He's waiting in the backyard," Bec supplied when they got downstairs.

Carmilla grabbed a bottle of water on her way by and then lit a smoke once she got outside. She inhaled deeply when she noticed her hands shaking. "Get it together, Karnstein, you don't even know what's happened yet," she admonished herself as she walked up to Dana, the UFC's president was busy talking on his phone.

He motioned to her to wait a moment and walked away a few feet to end his call.

"Who's dead?" she asked as soon as he returned.

He studied her a moment, sighed and shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he began, "I don't know everything," he shook his head. "It sounds like they're still trying to figure it out…"

"Who's dead?" she interrupted.

"Your brother Will," he informed her, causing her to slap a hand over her mouth in shock. But he wasn't done. "And your friend Danny."

"L… L…" she stammered despite the urge to throw up.

"She's fine," he assured her and put his hands on her upper arms. "She hasn't talked to anyone but she's okay."

A hundred scenarios ran through her head in an instant, none of them good.

"Your jet is waiting for you, just grab your stuff…" he continued, trailing off at the shake of her head.

"Don't n… n…" she growled and stomped her feet in frustration and at her inability to express herself. "Got everything at home," she managed.

"Alright," he nodded and reached into his pocket. "Take this but wait until the plane to call your friend Rick," he told her as he handed her her cell phone and charger. "Put that in your pocket so no one sees it."

"Back?"

"When do you have to be back?" he questioned and continued at her nod. "I'd like you back in time for Bec's fight tomorrow but Sunday morning is fine."

"Th… th…" she shook her head and hugged him instead.

"You're welcome," he replied and pushed her away gently. "Go on, go home and take care of your girl."

Carmilla nodded and headed toward the front of the house; she was still holding it together but only barely. She got into the back of the nearest SUV, did up her seat belt, pulled her knees to her chest and started crying. She had no idea what was going on and really wasn't sure how to feel about any of it. But one thing was clear to her; whatever happened, Laura had been there and she needed her because of it.

She looked up and out the window as she wiped the tears from her face. Despite her sadness and confusion, she couldn't help but smile; she was going home.


	7. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .

Now

(Fifteen Days To Go)

Carmilla couldn't help the myriad of questions and theories running through her head as they drove to the airport. Her thoughts, however, kept coming back to one subject; Will. Why was he out? And more importantly, why hadn't they told her sooner? Perhaps it had only just happened, or maybe they hadn't known. It was possible Deanna's lawyer had finally found a way to get him released. She shook her head; she was trying to distract herself from the bigger, scarier, questions like; how in the hell had the three of them ended up a position that two of them were now dead? And whose death affected her more? Her brother's? The boy she thought she'd been protecting all her life? Or the former adversary who'd quickly become a trusted ally and friend?

Carmilla sighed as they finally approached the bright lights of the airport. She'd mourned Will before she'd ever left for the show. The Will she met at the rehab facility was a stranger to her. While they were at the cabin, she accepted the fact that she'd lost him long ago and hadn't seen it. A small part of her had hoped that Laura was right; that he was sick and maybe, in time, she'd get back the boy she knew. But that part was minuscule. She'd done everything she could to make sure he would be safe until she got back despite suspecting there was more going on with him.

"Are you okay?" the driver asked once they'd come to a stop.

"Not really," she muttered.

"At least you get to go home for a few days," he offered.

"No," she sighed as it dawned on her why Dana wanted her back for Bec's fight; they'd be announcing the quarter-finals. "I have to be back by tomorrow." She leaned forward and squeezed his shoulder. "Thanks, for everything."

"Just doing my job," he turned and smiled, "Now c'mon, your ride is waiting."

"Home," she thought and smiled as he got out and opened the door for her. She undid her seatbelt, got out and stretched; she wasn't sore from her fight but from the tension, anxiety, and frankly, the stress of holding herself together.

As she walked to her jet, she wondered again why they hadn't told her Will had been released. And whose decision it had been to keep that from her and why. She climbed the stairs to the plane and was greeted by her regular attendant. "We'll be getting in line in fifteen minutes or so," she informed her.

"Can I make a call?" Carmilla asked.

"Not until we reach altitude I'm afraid," she replied. "There's a change of clothes for you in the bedroom if you want it," Carmilla nodded and walked past her into the plane. "Can I get you anything? A drink? Something to eat?"

"Is my Tequila in the freezer?" Carmilla asked and received a nod. "Two shots of that and a Corona." She assessed the condition of her stomach a moment. "And a sandwich, something plain if we have it."

"Ham and cheese?" she suggested, and Carmilla nodded.

Since she hadn't showered or changed, after her fight, freshening up and a change of clothes sounded like a good idea. "Do I have time for a quick shower?" she asked before heading into the bedroom at her nod where she found her overnight bag along with an envelope on top of it.

Her knees went weak once she got close enough to recognize Laura's handwriting. She sat on the bed, and with shaking hands reached for it and opened it.

"Hey baby," she read. "If you're reading this something has happened, and you're coming home. The second piece of paper with this note is a list of rules you'll have to follow while you're here. As soon as you can, call Frank, no one else, even if Dana tells you differently. Please, baby, trust that whatever it is that is bringing you home, it is important enough. I hope, that whatever you find out while you're home, you'll forgive my decisions and choices I've made with your best interest in mind. I love you, Carm, that is not something that will ever change even if I wanted it to. I pray you feel the same. See you soon, Kitten, I miss you already. All my love, Laura."

The letter wasn't dated, and she wondered when Laura had written it. How long had her jet been sitting here waiting, just in case it was needed? She read the note again and the list of rules that all amounted to one thing; she had to keep a low profile while she was home and wasn't allowed anywhere near the internet lest she try to use it to gain an unfair advantage over her opponents. All things considered, though, she understood the rules and why they were needed. She put the letter aside and pulled out a pair of her favorite jeans and one of Laura's t-shirts. She held it to her nose and inhaled deeply; it still smelt of her. Last she grabbed a clean pair of underwear and bra before heading into the bathroom.

She turned on the shower and undressed while she waited for the water to heat up. Carmilla would never have ever bought something as extravagant as Frank's jet but she couldn't help but appreciate the amenities. While still under Deanna's 'care' she'd had next to nothing and therefore was well aware of the value of money. She had more than enough of it to never to have to hold down a real job, but it didn't mean she was frivolous with it. Sure, she occasionally treated herself to a little something here and there, like her Patron Tequila, but the reason that some of the things she bought were expensive was that she liked to buy quality items as they lasted longer.

Carmilla let the hot water wash over her, taking some of her mounting stress with it down the drain until she felt the plane jerk as it started to move towards the line-up of other planes waiting to depart. She washed quickly and was stepping out of the shower by the time the plane stopped again.

She dressed, grabbed her cell phone from the pocket of her sweatshirt, slipped on a clean one from her bag, and then made her way back out to the main cabin where she found her two shots of Tequila, along with a Corona and a sandwich, waiting for her.

"We'll be taking off in about fifteen minutes," Julie, the flight attendant, informed her.

"When did you guys get back?" she asked as she unwrapped her sandwich; as much as she wanted her Tequila, her stomach was empty.

"We flew back down the day after we took your friends back to Vancouver," Julie replied. "We've been on 'standby' ever since."

"Do you have any idea what happened?" Carmilla questioned.

"None, I'm sorry," she replied. "We got the call a couple of hours ago to get the plane ready."

Since it was now going on three that meant they'd been called shortly before Dana had come to see her. It also meant that Laura had written her letter quite a while ago. Had she just been thinking ahead? Knowing that if nothing happened while she was away, that she could easily remove the letter when she came down to get her in two weeks?

"Um," Julie interrupted her thoughts, "Laura told me to tell you to check your pocket."

Carmilla stopped unwrapping her sandwich and checked her sweatshirt pockets, smiling when she found her Promise Ring. She'd asked Laura to keep it safe for her while she was gone, afraid she'd lose it in the house. She slipped it on her left ring finger; it was a little looser than when she'd bought it due to her being about ten pounds lighter than when they'd exchanged them.

"Thanks," she muttered, unsure if it was meant for Julie for telling it was there or for Laura for having put it there in the first place. She looked up at her, smiled and asked, "How long before I can use my phone?"

"We have to wait until we're at least ten thousand feet up," Julie supplied; "About ten minutes after take-off. The pilot will let you know."

Carmilla nodded and then finished unwrapping her sandwich if, for no other reason, than to take her mind off the confusion she was feeling. The plane pulled ahead again as she ate, Julie informing her that they were next as she balled up its wrapper and reached for her first shot of Tequila; she planned to save the second for after she talked to Frank. She already knew the news would be bad and had a feeling she was going to need it.

She downed the shot, savoring the burn as it made its way down her throat. She took one of the limes from the bowl on the table and sucked it dry as the plane started moving again. She tossed the used lime aside, picked up two more along with her beer and then sat back and did up her seat belt as the plane picked up speed. Carmilla smiled as she squeezed her limes into the bottle; she'd be home in about three and half hours. She wondered, idly, who would be picking her up and driving her home.

"You can use your phone now, Miss Karnstein," the pilot informed her as the plane leveled out.

"Thanks!" she called out as she took her phone out and dialed Frank's number.

"You're welcome," the pilot replied, causing her to smile slightly.

The phone rang only once before Frank answered, apparently he was waiting for her call.

"Hey honey, how are you holding up?" he asked.

"Barely," she admitted and took a sip of beer. "What the hell's going on, Frank? How was Will even out?"

"He was charged, and convicted of, possession of narcotics for the purpose of sale, as well as, conspiracy to commit murder," he supplied. "His convoy was ambushed between the rehab facility and the medium security prison he was being sent to," he sighed. "Or at least, that's what we were led to believe."

"Explain," she prompted when he hesitated.

"All three vehicles and their occupants were burned beyond recognition," he continued calmly. "They finished the DNA testing yesterday and figured out Will wasn't among the dead. Before you ask; no, we have no idea how he pulled it off, or who planned it in the first place."

"Why fake his death, though?" she thought out loud. "Did he change his will? Leave everything to Deanna?"

"No, you know he wouldn't have been able to until he turned twenty-one," he countered. "All his assets go to you, as the last living heir to the Karnstein fortune."

"So it probably wasn't Deanna's idea," she theorized; "It wouldn't benefit her."

"True," he replied. "As for what happened last night? I'm afraid, until either Laura or Betty…"

"Betty?" she interrupted. "Is she okay?"

"She will be," he answered. "She's banged up pretty good and has a nasty concussion, so she hasn't woken up yet, but she'll be okay. Rick's at the hospital talking to Steven trying to figure out what happened."

"And how's Laura?" she asked, the Tequila, beer and sandwich in her stomach threatening to make a reappearance as she waited for his answer.

"I talked to Dark just before you called. Rick had one of the attending officers drive her home and Dark's been taking care of her," he paused waiting for her interruption. "He said it was like she was in a trance. Going through the motions as he got her cleaned up, changed and put her to bed. Didn't say a single word."

"So what do we know?"

"Danny was stabbed in the back, and Will was shot by Laura," he replied simply. "What led up to that, though, or what happened, we have no idea. Dark mentioned that Danny had gone to her place in Burnaby with Betty, and I think when Laura found out that Will was on the loose, got worried, and she and Steven went to check on them."

"And that's all we know?"

"No," he admitted. "Will had your gun, the missing one from your Jeep."

"Thank God," she sighed.

"I'm sorry?" he asked in confusion.

"I may have no idea what happened but I think Laura is very lucky he had my gun," she informed him. "When I got my license to carry, Rick warned me that people who own guns very often get killed by them. I found, and paid handsomely, a gunsmith to create a custom safety. Unless it's disengaged properly, it'll jam after the first shot, which, just to be safe, was a blank."

"Did Laura know this?" he questioned tersely.

"Exactly three people know; myself, you and the man who modified the gun for me," she told him.

"Well that's good," he answered, "Sounds like she'll be able to claim self-defence."

"Why wasn't I contacted when you thought Will was dead?" she asked quietly, curious at what his answer would be.

"Laura reasoned that there was nothing you could do about it, and since you've only got a couple of weeks left to go, there didn't seem to be any point," he replied evenly, his answer sounding rehearsed.

"The same could be said of tonight," Carmilla countered.

"True," he conceded. "Look, you agreed to Laura being your 'bad news filter' for a reason right? So you could focus on your fighting and do well on the show?"

"What's your point?" she asked tersely.

"The only thing that has changed is that Laura isn't capable of making that decision right now," he sighed. "And she needs you."

"Since when do you take orders from Laura?"

"Since I can't remember the last time I've seen you so happy and relaxed," he offered.

"So you're telling me, if Laura had said so, I wouldn't be on my way home?" When he didn't answer immediately, she pressed; "This is at least a ten; if she had no intention of contacting me for anything seven or higher, which by the way, Will's first death? That was at least an eight. Why did she push for the amendment to my contract?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he replied. "She knew it would help set your mind at ease."

"When was he transferred?" she questioned.

"Monday," he sighed. "I think Laura contacted Dana and found out you hadn't fought yet," he supplied grudgingly. "She's just trying to look out for you."

"I know," she sighed in defeat. "I don't suppose you can tell me anything else that's been going on while I've be gone?"

"All I can tell you," he began, his tone again seemed rehearsed, "is that, apart from the events of tonight, everything is well in hand."

"If it was well in hand," she said, her voice shaking slightly, "I wouldn't be on my way home."

"It was," he assured her, "until Monday."

"Has anyone informed Deanna yet?" she asked.

"The police may have," he supplied.

"Call her in the morning," she began, smiling as she pictured his look of surprise. "She cares," she sighed, "Cared about him," Carmilla corrected herself, "in her own sick and twisted way, she should hear the news from someone who also cared for him. Since I can't contact anyone outside of the gym, you or Rick, I'll need you to make that call."

"She's going to want to take care of the funeral," he commented.

"Let her," she answered evenly. "It's not worth the fight," she sighed and looked out the window, but there was nothing but clouds to see. "Besides, once she finds out the circumstances of his death?"

"We're going to have a much bigger fight on our hands," he provided grimly.

"On top of the fight for his inheritance?" she added.

"She can try, but she'll fail," he countered. "Your father's will was very specific; she gets nothing unless Will changed it himself."

She looked up at Julie.

"Hold on a second Frank," she covered the phone.

"We need to get above the storm, so you're going to lose reception," Julie informed her.

"Thanks," she replied, "Sorry Frank, I have to let you go."

"Try and get some rest, okay?" he said, his voice warmer than it had been their entire conversation. "When do you have to be back?"

"Friday afternoon," she supplied. "They'll be announcing the quarter-finals."

"You won?"

"I can't tell you," she chuckled at the irony; she knew there was more he wasn't telling her. "Dana's rules."

"Fair enough," he laughed. "And Carmilla, honey, none of this is your fault. You know that right?"

"Maybe not directly," she countered and noticed Julie motioning her to end the call. "I have to go."

"Okay, take care," he said and hung up.

She considered throwing her phone onto the seat across from her as she reached for her other shot of Tequila but laid it in her lap instead. She sat back into her seat and downed her shot, sucked on her lime and then placed them both back on the table. She took a sip from her beer as she opened her photos and flipped through them until she found the one she was looking for.

The picture was taken at the cabin; Laura was on her shoulders, and Danny was beside them. She smiled despite the tears threatening to fall. Of the many questions she still had, she thought she found the answer to one; who would she mourn more? Will? Or Danny? Maybe once the answer would have been easier, but now? She expanded the photo slightly and focused in on the redhead. It was the happiest she'd ever seen her. Danny had such a bright future ahead of her, and now that was gone. And for what? Carmilla still had no clue what had happened, but one thing was sure; Danny's death was as senseless as it was tragic.

"Julie?" she called. "How long till we land?" she asked when she appeared.

"About two hours," she informed her.

"I'm going to lay down," Carmilla said as she undid her seatbelt. "Come get me a half hour out?" She headed back to the bedroom at her nod and went to sit on the bed. She put her elbows on her knees, rubbed her face and then went to run her hands through her hair when she remembered she still had her braids in. She put her bag aside and then turned to sit against the headboard to take them out.

Her thoughts drifted back to the night of her fight with Danny and taking her braids out for her. If she were honest with herself, she'd missed Danny at least as much as Dark and almost as much as Laura. During the few days at the cabin, she'd grown fond of the redhead almost despite herself. She couldn't help but think that it wasn't Danny who had changed, but herself. She'd finally allowed herself to see Danny for who she was instead of who she thought she was. Who she'd convinced herself she was so she had an excuse to keep her at arm's length.

As she took out her braids, her thoughts drifted to Laura. She couldn't imagine what she was feeling right now. While Carmilla had come to care for Danny, she'd also come to accept that she and Laura were far better friends than Laura had admitted. There was an ease between them, a familiarity, that she was jealous of, at first, but Laura had quelled those her fears. She understood why Laura hadn't told her the whole truth given how she used to feel about her, but it begged the question; what else had Laura kept from her?

Carmilla had often wondered when Laura had learned certain truths, like the real identity of her internet friend or the fact that Will hadn't gone to a single class, but she understood why she'd waited. Hell, hadn't Carmilla given her permission to do just that? In Danny's case, had she known about her parents, it might have changed the outcome of their fight entirely.

It came down to whether or not she trusted Laura. Or more accurately, whether she trusted her judgment. Every decision Laura had made on her behalf, she'd have made herself, given the chance. The more she thought about it, the more she wondered how well she knew Laura at all.

She sighed as she took out the last of her braids and ran her hands through her hair. She smiled; it reached to just below her shoulders now and felt so much lighter. She took her phone from her pocket and flipped through her pictures again, occasionally pausing to gaze at Laura's smiling face, until she stopped to study a picture she hadn't taken.

It was the tattoo on Laura's wrist, the words, "Forever Yours," written in marker beneath it.

She laid down on her side and pulled a pillow to her chest as tears slowly made their way down her cheeks. She stared at the screen of her phone until it blurred and then buried her face in the pillow as she quietly wept. Carmilla ached, not only from her own pain but for Laura's. She couldn't imagine what she was going through, but as sleep crept up on her, she calmed herself with the thought that she'd soon be holding her again.

"Miss Karnstein?" Julie whispered as she shook her awake. She rolled to her back and looked up at her. "We'll be landing in half an hour. Can I get you anything? Coffee perhaps?"

"No," Carmilla replied as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Water or a sports drink if we have it, I drank too much last night."

"I'd hardly call a couple of shots of Tequila and one beer too much," Julie smiled as she helped her sit up. "Especially given the circumstances."

"True," Carmilla chuckled, "but I had a couple of beers before I went to bed last night as well." She yawned. "And I'm still in training," she added as she stretched. "I'll be out in a minute, thanks."

Julie made her way back out to the main cabin while Carmilla went to use the bathroom. She washed her hands when she was done and then splashed some water on her face. She shook her head as she reached for a towel; she looked almost as crappy as she felt. She wiped her face dry and then studied herself in the mirror again. "No," she thought, "you need to hold it together, Karnstein, she needs you more than you need her right now."

She went back out to the bedroom, shoved her dirty clothes into her bag and checked the side pocket for her wallet and passport. Once she assured herself they were there she zipped the bag up and returned to her seat in the main cabin where she found a sports drink waiting for her. She opened it and took several long swallows before looking out the window.

Carmilla smiled; the sun was coming up over the distant mountains. She thought of Laura's mountain analogy and decided to email her tattoo artist when she got home to see if she could incorporate the North Shore mountains into their Phoenix tattoos.

She was lost in thought as the plane made its final approach, thinking of happier times and Laura waiting for her at home. She was worried about her. Aside from how killing someone and watching, or finding a friend dead, was going to affect her, she knew Deanna was about to unleash hell on all of them and Laura would be her primary target. As the plane touched down, she pondered if she would have returned to the show had she lost her fight yesterday. She shook her head; even though Dana had given her permission to return Sunday, she knew she'd have to fly back tomorrow. Every moment she spent with Laura would only make it harder to leave her again given the chaos that she was sure she'd be leaving behind.

Carmilla exited the plane almost as soon as the stairs were in place, ran down them and over to Rick's waiting arms. He hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head.

"It's going to be okay," he soothed.

"How can you say that?" she differed as she pushed him away. "Two people are dead, and Laura is responsible for one of them; how can you define that as 'okay'?"

"I said it was going to be okay," he repeated. "C'mon, get in the car, I'll tell you what I know on the way."

Carmilla went around to the passenger side of the car, got in and did up her seat belt. Rick didn't continue until the airport was behind them; "You spoke to Frank?" She nodded. "Well, I'm afraid I don't have much more to tell you," he glanced at her. "I spoke to Steven. Apparently Danny had said she wanted some space so went to her place in Burnaby. Laura convinced her to take Betty with her but, when I called to let her know about Will, she tried calling them to warn them but neither answered their phones. Laura had Steven try calling Betty, but she still didn't answer, so they decided to check on them." He paused a moment to gauge her reaction. "The house was dark when they got there, and Laura made Steven stay behind while she went in…"

"Why would she do that?" she interrupted.

"She told him to call for backup at the first sign of trouble," he supplied. "If they'd both gone in they might not have gotten the chance." He shook his head. "He went running in about fifteen minutes later when he heard two gunshots. He checked Will, he was dead, and then found Betty bound and gagged in one of the bedrooms." He took a deep breath. "The EMTs had to sedate Laura when they got there, she was still crying over Danny's body and wouldn't let go."

"Laura wasn't hurt?" she asked quietly, her throat tight at the image Rick had described.

"Not physically," he affirmed.

"What the hell happened?" she sighed.

"We won't know until Laura talks," Rick answered. "She'll need to make a statement as soon as she's able."

"Can you tell me anything else about what's been going on since I've been gone?" she asked, wondering if he would also sidestep the question.

"Laura gave us clear instructions," he started calmly as if he was bracing for her reaction, "what to do if you came home. She wants to make sure you'll still be able to focus when you go back to the show."

"Right," she hissed and looked out the window; she didn't like being kept in the dark.

"Carm?" he prompted as he stopped at a light. "Hey, look at me." She turned to face him. "We're all doing what we can to help you on the show."

"I know," she sighed. "Doesn't make not knowing any easier though."

"I know," he agreed. "But it's for the best and really? I think, aside from last night, you'll actually be quite pleased with the progress we've made while you've been away."

"Yeah?"

"Yes," he smiled and looked back to the road when the light changed. "We've got her on the ropes, kid; I doubt she'll even be able to make this mess any worse."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, really," he assured her. "And even though we still don't know what happened, it's pretty clear it was self-defence. Laura has nothing to worry about, legally at any rate."

"Frank tell you about my gun?" He nodded. "She didn't know."

"Will was only shot once and the two shots Steven heard were one after the other," Rick supplied.

"There was nothing that could be done for Danny?" she asked.

"She'd bled out before the EMTs got to her," he informed her sadly.

"Poor Laura," she thought, no wonder she wasn't talking.

They drove in silence for awhile until Rick again broke it.

"Look, Carm, take it easy on her, okay?" She looked over to him. "She hasn't been coping so well while you've been gone." He looked over to her. "She's missed you, so much."

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"When I saw her last night," he shook his head. "It looks like she's lost ten or fifteen pounds."

"Damn it," she sighed. While it wasn't a great amount for most people, Laura was already tiny to begin with. "What do you think I was going to do? Give her hell for not taking care of herself after…" she shook her head. "All I want to do right now is hold her as much as I can until I have to leave again."

"That sounds like a good plan."

They didn't speak again until the pulled up in front of the gym.

"I understand you're supposed to stay at the gym while you're here?" Rick asked, she nodded. "Okay, get some rest and have Laura call me when she gets up. We need to get her statement as soon as possible so we can get ahead of this thing." He studied her a moment. "Do you want me to walk you in?"

"No," she shook her head. "Thanks, Rick, for coming to get me, for watching out for Laura." She looked back to the gym. "I think we'll have a little get-together tonight, in Danny's honor, you're welcome to join us."

"What about Will?"

"He's Deanna's problem now," she replied coldly. "He hurt me. Worse, he hurt and tried to hurt, people I care about." She sighed and looked back to him. "I let him go before I left," she shrugged, "I might, in time, mourn the boy he was, but the man who killed my friend and tried to hurt the woman I love? That man can burn in hell for all I care." She studied him a moment. "Does she know? Deanna? That he's dead?"

"Not yet," he sighed. "Not that we know anyway."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to have answers to give her I don't have any yet," he provided.

"You think it'll make any difference?" she laughed. "She's going to be a pitbull with this. As soon as she finds out he died at Laura's hand she's going to claim she did it so we'd get his money."

"And that's why I want to know what happened before she finds out," he replied evenly. "She can't twist the facts."

"She'll try," she countered.

"And she'll fail," he said, echoing what Frank had said earlier. "Go on; she needs you." She gathered her stuff and went to open the door. "It is going to be okay," he said firmly as he stopped her with a hand on her wrist. "Just remember, everything she's done, she's done because she loves you."

"Yeah? And why are you all taking orders from her?"

"Because we love you too," he smiled. "You've earned your happiness, Carmilla, all any of us wants to do is help you keep it." He squeezed her wrist. "I've known you for four years, and I've never seen you as happy, or able to deal with the shit that you have as well as you have since you met her. She's good for you. So sue me if I want the girl, who I've come to think of as a daughter, to be happy."

"Thanks, Rick, that, um, means a lot," she said warmly as she pulled him into an awkward hug. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, I'll probably come here to get Laura's statement, save her the gong show downtown," he offered.

"Should Frank be here for that?"

"I'll call him later," he smiled. "Now, go on."

She took a deep breath, nodded and got out of the car.

It felt surreal being home. No cameras following her every move. No one around. It was weird. She turned at the door, waved to Rick and then watched him drive off. She shook her head as she noticed the sign on the door; "Closed until further notice. Our apologies for the inconvenience."

She made her way inside and up to her apartment, the door of which was unlocked. She entered and dropped her bag by the door only to be startled by loud snoring coming from the direction of the couch. She walked over and found both Brody and Dark asleep. The former had fallen asleep with his head in Dark's lap. She smiled and went to grab them a couple of blankets from the linen closet. She draped the blankets over them and kissed each of their foreheads. She was lucky to have the friends that she did. Now that the last of her blood family was dead, they were all she had.

Carmilla made her way over to the bedroom, her stomach full of butterflies as she paused with a hand on the door and worked up the nerve to push it open. When finally she did she walked over to the bed and then sank to her knees beside it. She studied Laura in the early morning light filtering through the blinds; she lay on her left side, Luna, their orange Bengal curled up in the crook of her left arm and her right wrapped tightly around Carmilla's favorite leather vest. She laid her head on the edge of the bed as the tears started to fall, only looking up again when she felt movement.

She found Luna a few inches away, the kitten and human studying each other a moment until Luna walked over, licked her forehead three times and then turned to go back to her spot.

"Carm?" Laura said sleepily.

"Hey, Pup," she replied quietly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Are you really here?" Laura questioned as she reached out with her right hand to touch her cheek.

Carmilla turned into it and kissed her palm.

"Yeah, I'm really here," she assured as she climbed onto the bed and kissed her softly.

Laura pushed her away and studied her eyes.

"Why are you here?"

"You know why," Carmilla replied gently. "But we don't have to talk about it now," she offered as she ran her thumb along her cheek. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?"

"Missed you more," Laura answered. "Carm, I…"

"No," she interrupted and kissed her again. "It can wait." She kissed her forehead. "We both need some rest to get through this day, okay?" Laura nodded. "Just let me get into something more comfortable?" Laura pulled her back for another kiss before she let her get up to change.

Carmilla found a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top, changed quickly and then turned to find Laura watching her. "I can't believe you're really here," she admitted as Carmilla climbed back into bed and pulled her close.

"Neither can I," Carmilla chuckled.

"I'm happy you are, though," Laura murmured, "despite the reason."

Carmilla turned to her side and reached up to stroke her cheek again.

"I know," she said and kissed her softly.

"When do you have to go back?"

"I have to be back for the quarter-finals announcement tomorrow," Carmilla supplied to her smile.

"You won?"

"I won," she affirmed. "But I didn't tell you that," she added with a wink, rolled to her back again, sighing when Laura laid her head back on her chest. "But rest now, talk later, okay?" Laura moved and kissed her softly.

"I have you for one night?" she questioned, Carmilla nodded. She laid her head back on her chest. "Okay then, rest now and I'll show you later just how much I've missed you," she promised as he hand slipped under her tank top and came to rest under her breast.

"Laura?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Laura moved to meet her eyes again.

"I love you too, Carm," she replied and kissed her.

"I just needed to hear that," Carmilla whispered as she guided her head back to its spot.

"I'll always love you," Laura said, her voice catching, "nothing's changed."

"Good to hear," she smiled, pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "Now sleep, baby, we both need some rest." Laura sighed and melted into her. For the first time since Carmilla had driven away from her almost four weeks ago, she felt whole again. She felt content despite her sadness and worry. Even if it was only for a short time, she was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, I'd originally planned to keep to the same format for this chapter, (with both a 'Now' and 'Then' part), but as I wrote it I realized that I want to really do Danny's death justice. Since this chapter took on a life of its own and went on way longer than I expected, I'm afraid it won't get the attention it deserves if I included it here. With any luck, you won't have to wait long, though, as I'm hoping to post again next week


	8. Let Me Go

Now

(Fifteen Days To Go)

Carmilla woke and looked at the clock before she noticed Laura sitting next to her. She sat up, stretched, and then leaned forward to kiss her softly.

"I see some things don't change," Carmilla teased.

"I'm sorry?"

"You're still an insufferable morning person," she provided and kissed her again as she blushed.

"I haven't been up long," Laura commented. "And it's almost noon."

"You look nice," she complimented as she placed a stray piece of hair behind Laura's ear. She was wearing a white buttoned-down fitted dress shirt and simple black skirt that reached just above her knees.

"I have to go downtown to give my statement," Laura sighed as she laced her fingers with Carmilla's.

"Rick said he'd come here to take it," Carmilla said in surprise.

"No," she shook her head, "the last thing I need to do is look like I'm getting special treatment."

"I suppose," Carmilla conceded. "Any word on how Betty is doing?"

"She'll be home tomorrow," Laura answered with a smile that faded as she added; "She had a bunch of drugs in her system, so they want to keep an eye on her," she said and looked down.

"Laura?" Carmilla prodded and then lifted her chin with her finger. "Hey," she kissed her, "whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, okay?"

"How can you say that when you don't know what happened?" she countered and shook her head. "I can't…" she wiped her eyes angrily.

"You can tell me when you're ready," Carmilla offered. "But I'd like to know before I go back." Laura nodded. "Whatever happened, baby, we'll figure it out," she smiled. "Right?" Laura smiled and nodded again. "Can I ask you something, though?" She nodded again. "If you'd had the choice, would I be here right now?"

"I don't think you'd like my answer," Laura muttered.

"We're going to talk about this," Carmilla said firmly, but softened at the look on Laura's face as she continued; "But it can wait until I'm back for good, okay?"

"Carm," Laura sighed. "If I'd had the choice, no, you wouldn't be here," she admitted. "You're coming home in two weeks, and there's nothing you can you do, so really, the only reason for you to come home would be because I want you here. Need you here," she shook her head and looked down. "But I'll never forgive myself if this messes you up for the rest of the show."

"Fuck the show, Laura," she said fiercely. "You are way more important to me," she sighed and looked down. "I'd have thought you'd have figured that out by now," she added sadly.

"Which is why I wouldn't have brought you home," Laura said, her tone making Carmilla meet her eyes. "Even this could have waited," she shrugged. "You might have been angry with me when you got home, but at least you wouldn't have this weighing on you either."

"Maybe that isn't your choice to make," Carmilla countered evenly. "I understand where you're coming from, I do, but imagine how I would have felt if I'd have come home to find out you'd been dealing with this alone?" She smiled. "This, all this," she chuckled, "just makes me want to win more." She laughed and shook her head. "Yesterday, after the ref put the vaseline on my face?" Laura smiled. "I turned to kiss you, but you weren't there." She kissed her softly and then leaned their foreheads together. "I hate why I'm here. I hate that you're in pain," she sighed. "But I am so damned happy to be here."

"I'm happy you're here too," Laura smiled and kissed her. "But I've been procrastinating long enough," she kissed her again. "And the sooner I go the quicker I'll be back."

"Okay," Carmilla kissed her. "Go before I don't let you."

"I have a feeling I'll be saying the same thing tomorrow," Laura joked and kissed her one last time.

Carmilla watched her leave and then flopped back onto the bed and rubbed her face. She hated this, hated not knowing what was going on. She took her hands from her face at the fluffy headbutt to her elbow. She smiled and reached out to pet a purring Trill.

"Hey little man," she smiled as she turned to her side to give him her full attention, "I missed you too."

She turned back to the bedroom door at the sound of voices and then the apartment door closing. She rolled out of bed and walked over to the slightly ajar door to see Dark in the kitchen making breakfast. "I'll be right out," she informed him and made him jump.

Carmilla went to the bathroom, washed her hands and then splashed some water on her face. She walked back out to the kitchen and hugged Dark from behind.

"Hey midget," he greeted as he turned in her arms and hugged her back. "It's good to see you too."

"Thank you for taking care of her last night," she said into his chest as tears threatened. She propped her chin on his chest. "Even if you were doing a piss poor job of it before then."

"What are you talking about?" he questioned as she pushed him away and went to make herself a coffee.

"She looks like she's lost almost fifteen pounds since I left," she commented sadly. "Rick mentioned she hasn't been coping very well?" she asked as she turned back to him.

"She's fine," he chuckled and flipped the omelet in the pan. "Laura's been…" he paused as he searched for the word; "Stressed out, yes, but she's been coping by hitting the gym," he shrugged. "I was bugging her about how much weight she's lost a couple of days ago," he offered as he slid the omelet onto a plate. "She hasn't actually lost much weight, just a few pounds of fat she put on when her arm was broken. Laura had the Doc run some tests, and she found out that she has an unusually high metabolism. She never noticed before because she used to have a terrible diet."

"But now that she's eating better," she smiled. "Makes sense," she sighed, at least that was one worry allayed. Dark took a second omelet from the oven and then led them over to the table to eat. "So, can you tell me what the hell has been going on while I've been away or are you going to give the same excuse?"

Dark studied her a moment, then stalled by taking a bite of his breakfast.

"It's fine," she sighed. "I get it." She took a bite of her omelet and then talked around it. "But you realize, I hope you all do, that not knowing is almost as bad?"

"I do, Carm," he relaxed. "But it's mostly good news," he offered.

"So why not tell me?" she countered.

"Because you can't talk about it, or show any emotion about it, when you get back on the show," he provided. "Deanna can't know you're here," he smiled mischievously. "But if she somehow finds out anyway? Then they'll probably find the last mole in the department."

"Well that's good, I guess," Carmilla replied thoughtfully. "Rick mentioned Will was convicted of conspiracy to commit murder?" Dark nodded slowly. "Whose?"

"Danny's," he replied. "He confessed to it."

"Is that all you can tell me?" she asked when he didn't continue.

"I'm sorry, Carm, I am, but…" Dark sighed and rubbed his face. "We're so close to ending Deanna; we can't risk anything going wrong."

"And what do you call last night?" Carmilla questioned tonelessly.

"That," he shook his head. "We didn't see it coming," he shrugged. "Everything that happened last night came out of nowhere." He reached for her hand. "Please, Carm, just let it go for now, okay?" She studied her best friend a moment before he continued; "You trust me, don't you?"

"Shouldn't I?"

"I only want what's best for you," Dark smiled. "Do you have any idea how nice it is to see you happy?" She smiled and blushed. "For the first time since I met you, I'm not worried about you," he squeezed her wrist. "I know, when all this is over, you're going to be okay." He shook his head and let her wrist go to pick up his fork. "That girl," he chuckled. "Sorry, woman, Laura, she loves you so much," he smiled. "I really don't know if you know how much."

"Why do you all keep reminding me?" she asked edgily. "You don't think I love her just as much?"

"I know you do, Carm," he shook his head. "We're all worried how you're going to react when you find out the…" he shook his head and corrected himself, "what's been going on while you've been away."

"There's only one thing that could change how I feel about Laura," she said quietly and met his eyes. "If I found out she was working for Deanna all along," she sighed. "And maybe not even then."

"Well, she's not," he smiled. "I can promise you that."

"That's good to hear," she sighed deeply. "I don't know, Dark, maybe I've been spending too much time inside my head," she shook her head and looked out the window. "The more I think about it, the more I wonder how well I know Laura," she looked back to him to gauge his reaction. "I mean, training with all these different fighters and coaches, I'm starting to think I was the one getting taught."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, but she knew her best friend well and knew there was something he wasn't telling her.

"Maybe it's just her decade of Krav Maga," she shrugged, deciding to let him off the hook. She'd never had any reason to question his loyalty before now, and for the moment, she was willing to let it go. "I know there's something going on with her, that there's a lot she's not telling me," she studied him a moment. "And I suspect you have an idea, but…" he smiled. "BUT," she said more forcefully, "I expect answers when I get home, understood?" His smiled faltered as he nodded. "Good, now go get my laptop from wherever Laura's hidden it so I can print some pictures off."

"What for?"

"I thought we could have a little get-together for Danny tonight," she replied, her voice catching slightly. "I should call Perry and Laf," she added thoughtfully, "they'd probably want to be here."

"I'll give them a call for you later?" he offered.

"Wait," she said, stopping him in his tracks, "are you babysitting me?"

"Um, maybe?" he stammered.

"Seriously?" she sighed.

"I missed you too, you know," Dark said as he walked back toward her. "So it's not like it's a big hardship," he joked. "Laura just wants to make sure you follow the rules."

"Fine," she allowed. "Go get my laptop."

Carmilla returned her attention to her breakfast; she was starting to think she wasn't just paranoid. Yes, she'd spent far too much time thinking about every minor detail, but was she right? She pushed her empty plate away and took a sip of her juice. She sighed. What was Laura hiding? More importantly, why?

She opened her file of photos once Dark had returned with her laptop. She scanned through them while he ate, sending several to the printer as she looked through them.

"You okay?" Dark asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"You'll have to be more specific," she deflected as she looked through her favorite mountain pictures and dragged one to her desktop so Laura could email their tattoo artist later.

"About Will," he offered carefully.

"I don't know," she sighed and closed her laptop. "I feel bad that I don't feel worse and guilty that I feel relieved that at least I don't have to worry about him anymore." She shook her head and rubbed her face. "Is it weird that I feel worse about Danny than I do about him?" She shook her head again and sighed. "I don't know, Dark, the Will we met with before I left? Him I don't mourn. The boy I thought I was protecting? I think I lost him a long time ago and didn't see it." She studied him a moment. "I told Frank to let Deanna plan his funeral."

"Really? Why?" Dark blurted.

"Because I don't care enough to plan it myself," she replied. "Besides, he killed Danny, probably tried to kill Laura, hurt you…" she sighed, "I'm too angry to care." She shook her head. "How's Brody doing? I know he cared about Danny."

"He's…" Dark sighed. "He's coping, I guess."

"And you?" she asked as she took his hand. "I know Will pissed you off, but…"

"You're right," he interrupted. "The Will I thought I knew would never have hurt you like that," he shrugged. "Mostly I'm angry that he had us all so fooled."

"Laura say anything before she left? About what happened last night?" He shook his head. "It doesn't make any sense. Why fake his death?" She sighed and looked back to him. "He was already written out of my Will, I don't see the point."

"Maybe it wasn't just your money he was after?" Dark suggested and then, given the look she was sure was on her face, immediately regretted his choice of words.

"He?" she prodded. "What do you know?"

"It's only a theory," he backpedaled. "Laura thought, before last night, that he was working for Deanna, yes, but only insofar as it furthered his own plans."

"But he'd need her help to pull off his escape," she said thoughtfully. "Unless…" she shook her head. "It wasn't her plan at all." She studied her best friend a moment. "What if, the whole overdose, even the confession, what if all of that was just so he could fake his own death and then do what he did last night?" She rubbed her face in frustration. "Why didn't I see this coming?"

"None of us saw this coming," he offered.

"No," she said and leveled him with her gaze, "Laura knew, or suspected before I even fought Danny." She felt, a now familiar, wave of sadness at the thought of the redhead. She looked at the clock and wondered how long it would be before Laura got home. "I'm going for a run," she informed him, shocking him slightly. She stood and went to kiss his forehead. "I need to clear my head." She smiled. "Maybe you can collect the pictures I printed, some poster board from the office and put them together for later?"

"Sure," he said as he stood and then hugged her. "It's going to be okay, Carm, I promise." She looked up to him. "I'm not going to deny that it's a lot, cause it is, but everything Laura has done is because she loves you."

"Even lying to me about herself?" she questioned, curious as to what his reaction would be.

"If," he started and paused at her raised eyebrow. "If," he continued, "she is, she has a damned good reason, and I know, for a fact, she's planning to come completely clean with you when you get back for real."

"You know what I don't get?" she shoved him away. "If you're all my friends, why are you all taking orders from her?" Dark had no reply. "Whatever." She shook her head and turned her back on him to go change in the bedroom. "Can I have my music?" she questioned him.

"Yeah," he replied, "I'll grab your MP3 player."

She nodded and went to sit on the bed.

"What the frilly hell is going on?" she thought and laid back on the bed.

None of it made any sense. Well, that wasn't entirely true; the more she thought about it the more Laura's theory about Will made sense. It explained a great many things. The microphones in the gym and why they weren't the best quality was one example. He might have been devious, but he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.

She sighed as she got back up, gathered her clothes for her run and started to change. The truth was, she didn't know anything. Not about Will and certainly not about the woman she loved. Would it always come back to trust? This time, not that Laura had her best interests in mind, but whether she trusted that her friends, the friends who definitely knew more about Laura than she did, did she trust their judgment? Sure, she could see one, maybe two, of them being taken in, but all of them?

Carmilla laced up her runners and walked back into the other room to find Dark looking through the pictures she'd printed with sadness. She went over and placed a hand on his elbow. "You okay?"

"It isn't fair," he choked out.

"I know," she agreed. "She was just getting her life back, only to have it taken away." She leaned her head into his shoulder. "And for what?" she sighed and forced back her tears. "I need to run," she said after clearing her throat, "and I need to hit something. Repeatedly."

Dark pulled her into a hug before giving her her MP3 player, gathering the photos and motioned her out the door.

"How long has the gym been closed?" she asked conversationally.

"Monday," he replied as they got on the elevator.

"Well open it back up next Monday, okay?" Carmilla asked him. "I don't want to lose people because we have to keep closing."

"I don't think that's going to be a problem," he commented as they exited. "Your core group has stood by you through all the crap so far because this is the best gym in the lower mainland. I doubt being closed from time to time, is going to dissuade them."

"True," she chuckled but then stopped dead once they entered the gym.

Behind the counter was a larger than life picture of herself with two countdown clocks. The one on the left was labeled; "Filming Days Left!". While the other was labeled; "Days Until Show's Premiere." But that wasn't what had her approaching the counter in awe. Decorating every available surface of the counter and wall behind it, were pictures of people she'd never met, all of them signed with words of encouragement.

"The video of your fight with Danny went viral after the Press Conference," Dark explained as he walked up beside her. "These," he waved towards them, "starting coming in after your fight with Rose."

"Wow," she sighed. "But why not share this with me?"

"It was only a few at first," he clarified and smiled. "Though we were up to about fifty when we got back from the cabin. Danny, Brody and I came up with this idea and started going through them, we planned to surprise you with it before you left, but we couldn't get everything together in time," he chuckled, "and more letters and pictures started coming in," he added.

She stepped closer to read a few when she felt his hand on her arm.

"And some of them have come in since you've been on the show," he said carefully as he pulled her away. "There's stuff here you can't know yet."

Carmilla turned and regarded her best friend.

"Whatever," she sighed in defeat; she was quickly growing tired of this game. She turned and walked over to the nearest treadmill as she scrolled through the playlists and found one that wasn't her's. Carmilla put her headphones in, started up the treadmill and tapped the list labeled; "L's Run 1".

As she started at a slow walk, the haunting music of a single piano filled her ears. She couldn't place it until a solitary female voice joined it.

_"Hearts beat fast_

_Colors and promises_

_How to be brave_

_How can I love when I'm afraid_

_To fall_

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt_

_Suddenly goes away somehow_

_One step closer."_

She upped the speed as the song continued and tears threatened once again.

" _I have died every day_

_waiting for you_

_Darlin' don't be afraid_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more"_

As the chorus played again, she couldn't help but wonder at Laura's song choice. Carmilla couldn't place where she knew the song from, but every word seemed to resonate within her. Still, it seemed an odd choice for a run playlist.

_"Time stands still_

_beauty in all she is_

_I will be brave_

_I will not let anything_

_Take away_

_What's standing in front of me_

_Every breath,_

_Every hour has come to this_

_One step closer."_

Maybe it reminded Laura of how much they loved each other? "Is she really that afraid I'll leave when I find out what's going on?" she wondered sadly.

" _I have died every day_

_Waiting for you_

_Darlin' don't be afraid_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more._

_And all along I believed_

_I would find you_

_Time has brought_

_Your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

_One step closer."_

Carmilla lost herself in the music as it continued and she upped the speed again. She'd never been more confused in her life and the more she obsessed, the worse it became. She'd never had reason to doubt Laura's love for her, or her motives, before; why start now? "Because everyone is clearly hiding something big," she considered. But why? And then it dawned on her; if Laura was already suspicious of Will, maybe it wasn't Carmilla they were keeping the dark. It didn't make her feel any better, but it did explain a lot.

She smiled as the next song started, Bryan Adams', "Everything I do."

Carmilla upped the speed again and attempted to put further speculation on hold. Not only was it pointless, only one person could answer her questions. Until Laura deemed it safe, she would only drive herself crazier than she already was with her conspiracy theories.

"Which," she thought, "is why they're not telling me in the first place." She sighed. "Priorities."

She had two weeks left on the show and two fights to win. That wasn't going to happen if she was distracted. When she'd first heard about the show, yes, it was only a means to an end. A chance to tell her story, and hopefully, the beginning of Deanna's end. She knew she'd have to win to make her story more compelling but she'd never really considered what would happen after the show.

Now, though, thanks to Laura, she wanted to win. She wanted the championship belt, the six figure contract and the brand new Harley that came with it. Not because it would be a nice distraction but because, maybe for the first time since starting this quest, she was enjoying herself. The chanting of the fans, the fights, even the training; she was having fun. Maybe, in the end, she'd be known for something other than the past that she was about to share with the world.

The tone of the music changed as she settled into a fast run, shaky breathing filled her ears before the singer started. She smiled as she recognized one of her favorite old songs, Depeche Mode's, "I Want You Now." Carmilla couldn't help the flood of images conjured by the song, things she planned to do later that night if she was lucky. The next song she knew immediately, Nine Inch Nail's, "Closer" and was smiling when Laura appeared through the gym's back door.

Laura smiled and waved on her way over to talk to Dark. Carmilla stepped off the treadmill and paused the song as she walked over to join them. She put her hand on Laura's lower back as she leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey," Laura replied and kissed her softly.

"You feel up for a little sparring?" Carmilla asked. She thought, maybe, she could confirm at least one theory.

"Actually," Laura sighed, "that sounds like a great idea." She kissed her again. "I'll go change and be back in a few minutes," she said and kissed her again before walking towards the elevator.

Carmilla watched her and then turned back to her best friend when the elevator door closed. "She okay?" she asked.

"She's still shaken by what happened last night but it sounds like her statement went well enough," he supplied. "They're not pressing charges anyway."

"Well that's a relief," she sighed. "I need to stretch but, um, could you make yourself scarce when she gets back?"

"Take it easy on her?" Dark urged and she nodded slowly. "She knows you have a lot of questions, and she is planning to answer them…"

"Stop," she interrupted. "I get it okay?" He nodded, but was clearly skeptical. "Look, I'm going to be back in Vegas in…" she looked at the clock and sighed; "less that twenty-four hours." She shook her head. "Do I want answers?" She shrugged. "Yes." She shook her head. "But time is short, and I'll settle for knowing something of what happened last night, some time to mourn Danny, and some time alone with Laura."

"Sounds more than fair," Dark replied and gave her a quick hug before she pushed him away.

Carmilla headed over to her locker to retrieve her gloves and wrist wraps. She slipped off her shoes and socks, tucked her gloves under her arm and then wrapped her wrists on the way over to one of the heavy bags. She finished wrapping her wrists, slipped on her gloves and then quickly stretched before turning her attention to the punching bag in front of her and thought about her next opponent.

Joanne was an inch taller than her and a better technical striker than she was. Her coaches had suggested, after her submission win against Alex, that she fall back on her grappling. Carmilla wasn't sure how she felt about that as her grappling wasn't one of her strong suits. They had reasoned that it didn't have to be good, or polished, to be effective. Her goal, after all, was to tire her out and then come on strong in the second round. Her coaches were urging her to go after another submission but Carmilla was hoping, is she tired her out enough, she might be able to keep up with her on the feet and then shock them all again when she got a knock-out. That was her plan. Whether she stuck to it or not remained to be seen.

She'd be working her combinations for a few minutes and had fallen into a nice rhythm when Laura returned.

"You've gotten faster," she commented.

"Finally took your advice and stopped putting everything into every punch," Carmilla replied as she stopped and met her eyes. She smiled as she looked around to see if Dark had left and then pulled Laura close and kissed her softly. "You want to warm up a bit before we start?" Laura nodded and pulled away. "Music?" she offered as she pulled her MP3 player from her pocket and noticed it was still paused. She handed it over and then watched for Laura's reaction once she put the headphones in and pushed play. Laura blushed deeply and smiled.

"Oh really?" Carmilla mouthed and raised an eyebrow as she backed away.

"Yes please," Laura called as she stepped onto a treadmill.

Carmilla blew her a kiss and winked before returning her attention to the heavy bag. She couldn't help but smile though. You would think, after almost a month apart, that they would feel awkward around each other, but it was as easy as it always was, despite Carmilla's many questions and doubts.

"Let me see your left kick," Laura said, interrupting her thoughts about fifteen minutes later.

"Why?" she questioned as she turned to her and noticed her wrapping her hands.

"Cause I have an idea," Laura supplied with a smile. "Go on, show me what you've got." Carmilla backed up, and although it felt awkward to kick with her left instead of her dominant leg, she made good contact with the bag. "Again," Laura ordered and Carmilla kicked the bag again. "Do it a few times in a row," she suggested, "until it feels more natural." Carmilla smiled and did as she was told, kicking the bag ten times in a row before Laura stopped her. "God, I'll never get over how quickly you adapt." She shook her head and motioned to the cage. "What happened in your fight? Can you tell me?"

"Don't you want to be surprised?" Carmilla challenged as they faced each other in the middle of the cage. Laura shrugged. "I hit her with two hard left jabs and backed off," she told her as she demonstrated; "Hit her with two more and then caught her with a hard uppercut, like the one I got…" she trailed off at the look on Laura's face and rushed to cover; "stunned her pretty good but I wanted to end it quickly so I slapped on a rear-naked choke and put her to sleep." She smiled as Laura's sadness was replaced by a look of surprise. "Didn't even hit the minute mark," she bragged.

"Well done babe!" Laura gushed as she pulled her into a hug.

Carmilla picked her up, spun her around, and then kissed her as she put her down.

"So who are you fighting next?" Laura asked when then finally parted.

"Definitely can't tell you that, but she's a better striker than me," Carmilla replied. "So why have you got me practicing my left kick?"

"In case you come up against a better striker," Laura replied with a chuckle. "What's your plan for you next fight?"

"Tire her out in the first with grappling and then knock her out in the second," Carmilla answered.

"That your plan or the coaches?" Laura teased.

"What?" Carmilla protested.

"Only you would try to beat someone where they're best," Laura joked. "Well, you and Jon Jones," she qualified and then walked away with a thoughtful look on her face. "Can I offer a suggestion?"

"If I can ask a question first?" Carmilla said as she studied her and wondered if Laura would give her a straight answer.

"That would depend on the question," Laura said carefully.

"Fair enough," she shook her head. "Just how much martial arts training do you have?"

"That's…" Laura sighed, "complicated."

"How is that complicated?" Carmilla said, completely exasperated.

"Trust me; it is," Laura sighed. "If I answer that question you'll have so many more I can't answer yet." She walked over and put her hands on Carmilla's arms. "I promise you, Kitten, I'm going to tell you everything when you get home, I will."

"What are you so afraid of?" Carmilla hissed and shrugged her off. "Is it just because you're afraid Deanna will find out? Or are you really that scared I'm going to walk away when I find out the truth?" She turned back to face her. "Do you really think whatever deep dark secret you're hiding is going to scare me off?" she asked sadly.

"It might," Laura replied and shook her head. "We can't do this, not now."

"Whatever," Carmilla hissed. "Tell me your idea."

Laura regarded her a moment and then motioned her to back to the center of the cage.

"Your grappling has come a long way," Carmilla smiled at the compliment. "But your take-downs suck."

"Fuck you," Carmilla laughed.

"Do you want my help or not?" Laura chuckled.

"Go ahead, coach, teach me," Carmilla replied, attempting, but failing, to keep the edge from her voice.

"She's right-handed? Your next opponent?" Carmilla nodded. "Alright," she smiled and squared off with her right hand forward, "when you're fighting opposite stance you suddenly have a bigger target."

"Yes, but I'll also be giving her a bigger target," Carmilla reasoned.

"True, but she doesn't know your left is just as strong as your right," Laura pointed out. "Keep hitting her here," she pointed to a spot above her right knee as she switched to an ortodox stance. "Do it a few times in a row and then adjust and hit her here," she pointed to her ribs. "One good hit and she'll start protecting it." She smiled. "After the first one add an overhand right."

"Yeah," Carmilla smiled, Laura looked like she was having fun, "and then what?"

"Instead of an overhand right," she made like she was going to throw the punch but then ducked down at the last second, wrapped her arms around her legs just below her butt, picked her up and then dropped on her ass. Laura followed her to the ground, straddled her and pinned her to the mat. "And then do what your coaches told you to; hold her down, hit her as much as you can, and tire her out."

"Get off me," Carmilla said angrily as she tried to push her off.

"What's wrong?" Laura asked as she moved her hands down her arms and laced their fingers as best she could with their gloves on. She leaned down and whispered in her ear; "If you want me off," she challenged and kissed her neck, "then you'll have to get me off."

"I was planning to later," Carmilla jeered and tried to dislodge her. "How about we make this more interesting?" she suggested as she stopped struggling.

"I don't know," Laura replied, her voice deep, "this is already pretty interesting."

"Let's start from a neutral position," she started, her voice hitching slightly as Laura nipped her neck. "I win, you answer me one question," Laura sat up to search her eyes.

"And what do I get if I win?" Laura asked as Carmilla sat up and wrapped her arms around her.

"Me," she supplied, "any way you want me."

Then

(Yesterday)

"I'm done," Laura announced as she closed her laptop and pushed it away.

"We are?" Danny asked in surprise.

"No," Laura laughed, "I said I was done," she pointed out. "I can't look at this stuff anymore until Carm comes back and fills in some of the holes." She stood and walked to the kitchen. "Wine?"

"Um, maybe you should eat something first?" Danny suggested.

Laura didn't answer her but walked over to the fridge to start taking out food for dinner.

"What?" Laura asked as she noticed Danny watching her. "Oh, God, not you too."

"What are you talking about?" Danny deflected.

"My Dad, he tell you I used to have an eating disorder?" Danny's look of guilt was answer enough. "I'm fine now, and as it turns out, I was fine then." She poured herself a glass of white wine. "After my Mom was killed I threw myself into Martial Arts and ended up losing a bunch of weight because I was working out so much. My Dad got super worried so I started eating more junk food so I put some weight back on. I had the Doc run some tests last time I saw him, turns out I just have a high metabolism. The more I work out, the more I need to eat."

"Really?" Danny asked skeptically as she joined her in the kitchen.

"Yes, really," she confirmed. "Physically I'm fine."

"Good," Danny smiled but her tone sounded off as she added; "that's good."

"Danny?" Laura paused in her dinner preparations; "Is everything okay?"

"No," she admitted. "We need to talk."

"I don't like that sound of that," Laura commented with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"Laura, don't," Danny said firmly and walked away. "I can't…" she sighed. "My Dad and I have been talking," she continued as she slumped down on the couch. "We're," she sighed again. "Now that my Dad's name has been cleared, we're moving to Toronto to start over."

Laura walked over, sat down beside her and tried to take her hand.

"Don't," she hissed as she stood and walked away. "Please, just let me go."

"Danny, what are you talking about?"

"I thought," she ran her hands through her hair, "I thought I could do it, be your friend, but…" she shook head. "I can't do this anymore, Laura, I love you, care about you and…" she wiped away a tear, "and I'm never going to move on, never going to be the friend you need me to be, as long as I stay…"

"Danny, please," Laura begged.

"Stop!" she cried. "This isn't fair Laura. I can't…" she growled. "How do you think I feel? Every time you start pining for Carm? Start crying that she's going to leave you when she finds out the truth?" She'd been pacing as she talked, when she stopped to face her, the anguish on her face was clear. "I care about Carm too, how do you think that makes me feel? Hoping that she does leave you? Hoping that you'll give me a chance?" The tears were now flowing down her face freely. "Please, Laura, please, just let me go."

"What if I don't want to let you go?" Laura asked quietly.

"Laura…" she started angrily, "that isn't fair."

"I know," Laura sighed, "I'm sorry," she added in defeat. "When are you leaving?"

Danny regarded her a moment.

"Tonight," she informed her, "Now."

"Wait? What?"

"Dad is packing our stuff here and I need to go to my place in Burnaby," Danny answered as she walked towards the door. "We leave this weekend."

"Will you at least take Betty with you?" Laura questioned.

"What? Why?" Danny asked as she turned at the door. "Will's dead and Deanna is as good as done."

"Because I won't believe Will's dead until I Rick calls me with the DNA results," Laura countered. "Look, if I'm being overprotective and nothing happens, then fine, but if you get hurt when I could have done something to protect you..." she shook her head.

"I'm not your responsibility any more than I'm Carm's," Danny spat back.

"Please, Danny, until it's confirmed…"

"Fine!" Danny cut her off. "Call her and tell her I'm leaving in half an hour," she said, leaving and slamming the door behind her before Laura could say anything else.

Laura stared at the closed door a moment and then went to grab her phone and texted Betty. Once she'd answered she threw the phone back on the table and went to make herself a drink. She'd miss Danny. Miss her company. But she knew Danny was right. Knew that Danny was in love with her and had used it to keep her close. She was being selfish. Keeping Danny close so she wouldn't be lonely while Carmilla was away. In her darker moments, if she admitted it, if Carmilla left her when she found out the truth, maybe she would have tried again with Danny. Maybe she was keeping her as a backup.

She downed the rest of her drink, made another, and was making dinner when her phone rang and startled her. She frowned as she answered Rick's call; "Please tell me you have good news."

"I have," he sighed, "weird news."

"Define 'weird'," she prompted.

"All nine were shot before they were burned," he started, "and they'd been dead for a few days."

"Was Will one of them?" she questioned, already dreading his answer.

"No."

"Fuck," she hissed, "fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Laura, calm down, we'll find him," he consoled. "We're already getting a team together to search the estate, we're just waiting on the paperwork."

"You're getting my people out first?"

"Of course," he assured her. "We got them out on Monday; we've just been waiting on an excuse to do the search."

"Okay," she took a deep breath, "okay." She shook her head. "Let me know what you find but I have to go."

"Laura what is it? What's wrong?" he prompted.

"Danny, she's leaving, went to her place to pack," she shook her head again. "I have to go, I have to call her, warn her," she informed him, hung up and dialed Danny. "Damn it," she hissed when her call went to voicemail. She tried Betty next but got the same result. "Fuck," she spat and called Steven. "Will's not dead and Danny and Betty aren't answering their phones," she told him when he answered.

"What do you want to do?"

"Call Betty, if she doesn't answer we suit up and head out to Danny's," Laura informed him as she went to gather her things, namely her gun and badge.

"Don't you think…"

"Do you really want to take the chance that I'm overreacting?" she interrupted.

"Fine," he conceded, "I'll call her." She went to get her shoes and was doing them up when her phone rang again. "We leave in ten, and we're taking the Compass."

"Meet you downstairs."

Laura slipped on her shoulder hoster, checked the clip in her gun, secured it in her holster and then shrugged on her leather jacket. She ran down the stairs and met up with Steven at the backdoor.

"Still no answer?" Laura questioned as they made their way out to the car.

"No," he replied tersely, "and that's not like her," he added as they got into the car.

They'd been driving for fifteen minutes before he broke the silence.

"So what's the plan?"

"Danny has a spare key for the backdoor under the patio," she started thoughtfully. "You stay with the car…"

"Laura…" he tried to object.

"No," she said firmly. "If Will is there and you walk in?" She studied him. "He'll shoot first."

"You don't even know if he's armed," he countered.

"And we still haven't found Carm's gun," she pointed out. "No, listen, please, I do have a plan."

"Fine, out with it then," he replied edgily.

"Look, I know you're not happy about taking orders from me, I get it," she said consolingly. "But if you walk in there the level of aggression is going to be immediately raised. I go in there," she shrugged, "maybe I can get us all out alive."

"Dramatic much?" he joked.

"I'm not taking any chances," she replied, her tone sobering him up. "We park down the street and I'll sneak in. She took her phone out and set a timer for half an hour. "Give me thirty minutes, if I don't answer your call, call for backup and get your ass in there. First sign of trouble, get your ass in there. Got it?"

"Got it," he acknowledged as they came to stop half a block from the house Danny shared with a few a her college friends, all of which were gone for the summer.

She took off the watch that Carmilla had given her and handed it to Steven.

"I have a watch," he said as he refused it.

"This isn't any old watch," she said and turned it over to show him the GPS buds on the band. "You break one of these off and Rick will send the cavalry, no questions asked."

"I should be going with you," he said as she checked her gun one last time and disengaged the safety. "You got this?"

"I got this," she affirmed.

Laura got out of the car and jogged down the edge of the street towards Danny's. She came to a stop at her driveway and peered around the hedge at her house. All the lights were out. She stayed in the shadows at the edge of the driveway as she made her way to the back of the house and then went to find the hidden key. She fished it off the nail under the patio and snuck up to the back door. She peered into the window but couldn't see anything before she turned the key in the lock and snuck in.

She left the door ajar and slowly made her way across the kitchen, stopping at the door when she heard voices on the other side of it. "Why are you doing this? Carm would've given you anything you wanted.."

"She shouldn't have to," Will spat out. "It's my money; it's supposed to be mine!"

"And how exactly were you going to get it when you're supposed to be dead?" Danny questioned.

"Cause I'm going to burn this place to the ground, kill Carm when she gets home and then go kill Deanna when I'm 'escaping' her clutches," he laughed. "I'll get all of it."

"Laura will stop you," Danny countered.

"Laura?" he laughed. "She's going to kill you, of course."

Laura couldn't listen any longer and burst into the room.

"I won't…" she trailed off at the scene in front of her; Will had Danny against the wall, a knife to her throat.

"Laura, no!" Danny cried and then pushed Will away.

Everything happened in slow motion as the two struggled for the knife. Laura didn't even have time to reach for her gun as Danny slumped over and stumbled as she backed away from him, the knife buried in her stomach. She pulled it out and let it fall from her fingers. She fell to her knees and then into Laura's arms.

"Danny, no…" Laura choked out as she lowered her to the ground. "Hold on, just…"

"Laura, it's okay," Danny interrupted. "I'm not afraid. You remember that, okay? I'm not…"

Laura leaned down and interrupted her with a kiss, the redhead responding for the briefest of moments before she was gone. She marshalled her sadness and the undeniable rage that was coursing through her.

"How touching," Will drawled as she lowered Danny's head to the ground.

"How could you?" she growled. "She trusted you!" she looked up and was met with a gun pointed at her. "She tried to help you!" She slowly stood so as not to spook him. "She was your friend!" she accused.

"Friend?" he laughed. "Some friend," he spat. "The minute the two of you showed her an ounce of kindness she turned her back on me!"

"So she deserved to die for it?"

"No, no, no…" he laughed as he waved his gun at her. "You killed each other during a lovers' spat!"

"I won't let you hurt anyone else," Laura said as she whipped her gun from its holster and aimed it at him. "Put the gun down!" she ordered. "It's over Will, you're done!"

"You won't shoot me!" he laughed.

"Try me," she stated coldly and shook her head. "You won't get a dime, Will, even if she hadn't changed her Will, the DNA test we had done this week proves it!"

"Proves what?"

"You're a Hollis, Will, not a Karnstein," she bluffed; she still didn't have proof.

"Lies!" he spat and pulled his trigger.

Laura felt nothing, he'd missed, but when he tried a second time she wasn't taking any chances and shot him. Will pulled the trigger again and looked at his gun before noticing the growing blood stain in the middle of his chest. He looked back to her as he fell to his knees.

"You shot me," he said and then fell onto his face as Steven came busting through the door beside him.

"Check him," she said tonelessly as she knelt beside Danny and checked her pulse, tears slowly streaming her face when she didn't find it.

"He's dead," Steven told her with a hand on her shoulder. "Where's Betty?" She shook her head. "I'll go find her. Rick's on the way." She nodded, her attention still on the dead redhead. Laura heard him walk away as she brushed the hair from Danny's forehead.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered as she lowered her head to Danny's chest. "I should have let you go. Why didn't I let you go?"


	9. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay but between working too much, work related stress and migraines, well, better late than never right? Please keep the comments coming, they really do make my day and inspire me!
> 
> Oh, and the italics that start the "Then" part is a dream sequence

Now

(Fifteen Days to Go)

 

Laura stood and then held her hand out to help Carmilla back up. They studied each other a moment before Laura suggested; "Mouthguards?"

"Thought we were going to grapple?" Carmilla asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Better safe than sorry, right?" joked Laura as she left the cage to grab their mouthguards from their lockers. "So what are the rules?" she inquired when she returned and handed Carmilla hers.

"You tell me," Carmilla replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm; "Since everyone seems to be following your lead, I might as well too," she finished, this time her tone tainted by anger.

"Carm," Laura sighed.

"Save it," Carmilla cut her off. "I've already heard the excuses," she put her mouthguard in, "Go on then, what are the 'rules'?"

Laura studied her a moment, the sadness in her eyes almost making Carmilla break. Almost. Laura shook her head.

"Grappling is great but without good takedowns it's useless," Laura started as the walked over to the side of the cage. "We moved the timer so you don't need a third person," she provided. Carmilla walked to the opposite side of the cage as she waited for her to continue. "No hard hitting but takedowns and submissions, go full force."

"Really?" she questioned skeptically. "You really don't want to answer any questions, do you?"

"It's not a matter of want, Carm, it's of necessity," she said sadly.

"Wait," Carmilla shook her head and took her mouthpiece out. "All these rules, it's not because you're worried Deanna will find out I'm home, but because she already knows what you're hiding, isn't it?" she walked towards her. "And I do know you're hiding something," she studied her a moment, "I'm not sure that I care what it is, but I would like to know why."

It took a moment for Laura to formulate her answer; "I'll answer what I can, later, but only if it won't lead to questions I can't answer right now."

"Whatever," Carmilla replied tonelessly. "Show me what you've really got Creampuff."

"You sure about that?" Laura asked neutrally. "I wouldn't want to accidentally hurt you."

"You're already hurting me," Carmilla replied quietly. "What's a little physical pain?"

"I don't want to talk about this here," Laura answered and turned to hit the buzzer. "Later, okay?" Carmilla nodded once. "You ready?" She nodded again and watched as Laura started the timer. "Thirty-second delay," she added before putting her mouthguard back in.

Carmilla regarded the woman she loved as she waited for the buzzer to sound; she wasn't just being paranoid, she didn't know Laura at all.

The buzzer sounded and the two met in the middle of the cage. They circled each other for almost a full minute before Carmilla switched her stance and attempted the combination Laura had suggested, however when she tried for the takedown, Laura stopped her easily. Her arms still around Laura's middle she managed to push her back into the cage. They were grappling, each trying to get the takedown when Carmilla found herself being tossed to the ground. Before she could even respond, or attempt to get into a better position, she found herself tapping to a lightening fast armbar. She shoved Laura's legs off her and spat out her mouth guard.

"What the fuck was that?" she hissed.

"Judo hip toss?" Laura shrugged.

"Judo hip toss?" Carmilla mocked. "You studied Judo?"

"The last couple of years," she shrugged. "Can we go upstairs to talk?"

"Why can't we talk here?"

"Because someone is listening."

"We're alone," Carmilla pointed out with a glance around the gym.

"We mic'ed the gym ourselves after you left to try and figure who was helping Will," she supplied as she stood.

"But the gym is closed, surely no one is listening now."

"Perhaps," Laura shrugged, "but I'd still rather have this conversation upstairs."

"Fine," Carmilla sighed. "Can you teach me that hip toss first?"

Laura nodded and followed her out of the cage to the thicker mats. They spent the next twenty minutes practicing until Carmilla could perform the move with ease and then headed upstairs to their apartment in silence.

Carmilla grabbed a bottle of chilled white wine from the fridge before turning back to Laura only to find her looking apprehensive and sad.

"Carm," Laura started as she watched her open and then pour the wine, "I never wanted to lie to you, I hope you believe that."

"Then why?"

"I had no choice," she answered.

"So is everything I know about you is a lie?"

"No, most of Frank's background check was accurate."

"So Frank knows the truth but not me, lovely," Carmilla muttered. "Why act like you're a novice when it comes to fighting?"

"I was worried you'd feel threatened?"

"And you've been teaching me all along, haven't you?" Carmilla prodded.

"When did you figure that out?" Laura questioned.

"I watched some video of us when we first started sparring," she admitted. "I've also had a lot of time to think."

"Carm," Laura sighed as she walked over to her jacket and fished out a pack of smokes. She turned to face her. "For the last four weeks, every spare moment I've had, all I could think about is telling you the truth." She shook her head and looked down, her voice sad as she continued: "For better or worse, you'd know everything." She shrugged and looked up. "I do love you, Carm, that isn't a lie."

Carmilla took a sip of her wine as she approached her.

"I, better than some, understand hiding who you are," she started as she put her glass on the table beside Laura and took her arms in her hands. "And I was already starting to wonder how well I know you." She took the cigarettes from Laura's hand and put them aside so she could take her hands. "There's clearly a lot I don't know about you," she met her eyes and then searched them. "But I do love you," she shook her head and chuckled. "That's why you made me promise, to not give up on us, isn't it?" Laura nodded. "Well now I'm asking for one," Laura nodded again. "Promise me you'll never lie to me again?"

"I promise," she replied without hesitation. "For the record? I've done my best not to lie to you," she sighed and looked down. "And just because you don't know everything about me…"

"Doesn't mean I don't know you?" Carmilla finished for her. "I know," she smiled and kissed her softly. "I keep my promises, Laura, I always will," she smiled. "My life, everything, it's gotten so much better since I met you." She kissed her. "I'm not an idiot, I know you're responsible," she shrugged. "Maybe more than I thought." She regarded her a moment. "What can you tell me about last night?"

"Almost everything," she sighed. "But for that, I need a cigarette." She kissed her briefly and then led her out onto the balcony. "Danny, she was, she and her Dad, they were going to move to Toronto." She sighed, lit her cigarette, inhaled deeply and then turned to look at the view before she continued. "About an hour after she left to go pack up her house Rick called to say Will wasn't dead. I panicked," she shook her head and took another drag. "I called Danny right away, she didn't answer. I called Betty, she didn't either."

"If you thought Will was dead, why send Betty with her?"

"Because Deanna isn't," she replied flatly and sighed. "Something wasn't right about Will's death, it didn't feel right." She turned back to face her. "Anyway, we, Steven and I, headed out there."

"Why didn't you warn Rick?"

"That," Laura smiled, "is the one silver lining that came from this whole mess. Figuring out Will was alive gave Rick the perfect excuse to search the estate so he was busy doing that." She reached for Carmilla's hand. "She's as good as finished, Kitten, by the time she reaches trial?" She kissed her briefly. "Your testimony will be a mere formality."

"Seriously?" she blurted.

"Yup," Laura smiled. "It's almost over, we're so close," she sighed again. "I made Steven park half a block away."

"Why did you go in alone?" she questioned. "He's trained for this sort of thing, you're not."

"Right," Laura chuckled but there was no humor in it. "If Steven had gone in he'd be dead. Will would have shot him, no questions asked. I thought, maybe, I could avoid anyone getting hurt." She sniffed. "I snuck in the back door, Danny had a key hidden under the back patio. I heard them, from the kitchen, Will," she looked down. "He was planning to kill me and Danny and then make it look like we killed each other. He was going to wait until you came home, kill you, probably make it look like a suicide. He was going to go back to Deanna's, kill her, and say it did it as he escaped." She took a deep breath. "I rushed in, he had Danny against the wall with a knife to her throat. They fought for the knife," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "Danny ended up with it in her stomach."

"Rick said she was stabbed in the back?"

"There was a lot of blood," she supplied. "They probably didn't figure it out until they got back to the hospital and I wasn't exactly in any shape to explain." She stubbed out her cigarette and reached for Carmilla's hands. "Danny, she died in my arms," she continued, her voice strained. "I, um," she looked down, "I kissed her before she died," she admitted.

"Laura?" she prodded and lifted her chin. "I understand."

"You do?" Carmilla nodded. "I don't."

"You loved her," she smiled at Laura's look of guilt. "Not in the way you do me, but I know you loved her, it's okay to admit that. I'm okay with it." She kissed her softly. "You wanted her to know how you felt."

"I wanted her to hold on," Laura corrected quietly. "I couldn't…" her voice cracked. "It's my fault, if I'd just let her leave when she wanted to, she wouldn't have…" she sobbed. "She wouldn't be…"

Carmilla pulled her into her arms and rubbed her back.

"It's not your fault, Laura," she cooed. "Danny loved you, she made her choice."

"No, you don't understand," Laura pushed her away. "She wanted to leave before then, I talked her into staying. If I hadn't…"

"She chose to stay," Carmilla interrupted. "There's only one person to blame, Will."

"He had a gun trained on me when I stood, told me the rest of the plan," she took a deep, but unsteady breath as she wiped at her nose and sniffed. "He shot first, missed, I wasn't taking a chance he'd miss a second time."

"Rick didn't tell you?"

"It was your gun?" Laura provided. "So?"

"I don't know if this is going to make you feel worse but," she took her hands again, "my gun had a custom built safety. Unless properly disengaged, it jams on the second shot and the first was a blank." Laura's face fell. "Laura, listen to me, even if you'd known, no matter how much training you have, he was more than twice your size. He could have just as likely killed you with your own gun." She regarded her a moment. "It was self-defence. Given the choice? I'd pick your life over his any day."

"It's not that," Laura corrected. "I couldn't," she shook her head. "I had to save you." She reached up and stroked her cheek. "So many times, so many people could have helped you," she continued sadly. "I wasn't, couldn't, be another one to fail you."

"Oh, Laura," she sighed and kissed her forehead. "You saved me the second you walked into my gym for the first time." She smiled as Laura met her eyes. "I've been fighting my whole life," she kissed her softly. "You gave me something worth fighting for."

Laura studied her a moment, sighed and looked down.

"Carm," she sighed. "There's something I need to tell you that I probably shouldn't," she met her eyes. "Something I only figured out a little while ago." She took her hands. "My Mom, her death a few weeks after your father's, all this time I thought it was just some weird morbid connection we shared. But, um, a couple of months ago, I found out it wasn't."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your mother, my father, they were more than just high school acquaintances," she began. "About a year before Will was born she contacted my Dad, told him she thought your Father was having an affair. A few months later they met up at a hotel downtown."

"Wait," Carmilla interrupted, "are you saying my mother and your father had an affair?"

"Not exactly," Laura corrected. "They did wake up naked in bed together the next morning, but neither had any memory of what happened. My Dad went to the hospital, got tested and had a boatload of drugs in his system. Your Mother went home and told your Father the truth."

"Deanna was trying to break them up," Carmilla surmised to Laura's nod.

"Yes, but it backfired."

"My Father forgave her and she was pregnant," Carmilla guessed.

"When your Father died my parents filed for custody of you and Will," Laura provided, the shock, she was sure, was clear on her face. "They were days away from a paternity test when my Mom was killed."

"And you didn't know this when you met me?" Carmilla questioned skeptically.

"I swear I didn't," Laura replied fiercely. "And we only just found out, for sure, that they even slept together."

"Rick rushed a DNA test?" Laura nodded. "Frank, he already knew, or suspected, didn't he?" Laura nodded slowly. "That's why he said Deanna could try but she'd fail," she chuckled and walked away. "The second that DNA result…" she trailed off in laughter. "It's over…" she said as she caught her breath. "She can't touch Will's money because it was never his to begin with." She shook her head. "I know it's not over, not by a long shot, but at least she'll stop trying to kill me for my money." She smiled and kissed Laura softly. "Not that she doesn't have other reasons, I know, but once the show airs she'll be finished."

"That's the plan," Laura smiled. "Carm, I'm sorry, I wish…"

"Laura, stop," Carmilla said and kissed her softly. "You've promised to tell me everything when I get back, and for now, that's enough." She sighed and looked down. "Am I angry, hurt and confused as hell?" She asked and met her eyes. "Damn right, but…" she kissed her, "but, I've never had a reason to not trust you before," she smiled, "I think I can manage to trust you for a few more weeks."

"Yeah?" she asked uncertainly.

"Yeah," Carmilla confirmed and checked the time. "C'mon, we've got about a half hour before we head upstairs," she started as she took her hand and led her inside; "What do you say we take a shower?" Laura blushed and nodded. "And then, after we honor Danny, I say we come back here and forget about everything else for the rest of the night." She kissed her as she pulled her through the bedroom and into the bathroom. "What do you say?" She asked as she pulled Laura's shirt off over her head. She kissed her again and stepped back to take off her shorts, pausing when she saw just how much weight Laura had lost. "Oh Laura," she sighed sadly as she reached out to run her fingers along her, now more prominent, ribs.

"I'm fine," she countered.

"No, you're not," Carmilla hissed. "And don't try to feed me the same bullshit line you fed Dark."

"It's not bullshit, Carm," Laura replied as she took off her shorts. "I do have a really high metabolism but," she sighed. "I also haven't had much of an appetite since you left." She shook her head and reached for Carmilla's shirt. "When I was younger," she frowned, "when my Mom died," she corrected, "I did have an eating disorder for a bit, but I got better, I did," she assured her as Carmilla let her take her shirt off. "This," she motioned to herself, "is just stress."

"Promise me you'll take better care of yourself?" Laura nodded. "Cause I can't go back if I'm worried about you."

"You don't have to worry about me," Laura smiled and led her towards the shower. "I'll be fine." She turned the water on and pulled Carmilla under it. "I promise I'll take better care of myself if you promise to not worry about me."

"I like to keep my promises," Carmilla said quietly, "and I don't know if that's one I can keep."

"You need to try," Laura replied and kissed her. "I'll be fine, we all will."

"That's what you said when I left the first time," Carmilla said gloomily and reached for the shampoo. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't imagine what you're going through. Watching Danny die, Will…"

"Will wasn't the first boy I've killed," Laura admitted, her voice so quiet that Carmilla wasn't sure she'd heard her correctly over the shower.

"What?"

"Remember Derrick?" Carmilla nodded. "He made the mistake of trying to jump on top of me. I got my feet under him and launched him across the room," she sighed and wiped a tear away. "He hit a table on the way down, broke his neck."

"But it was an accident," Carmilla soothed and pulled her into her arms. "I know you, Laura, even if I don't know everything about you. I know you'd never set out to hurt someone, even if they'd hurt you first." She stepped back and took Laura's face in her hands. "If you were you wouldn't be as tortured as you are over Derrick and Will's deaths. You were defending yourself, that's all."

"Doesn't make me feel any better about either of them," she confided and shook her head. "Enough," she said firmly and took the shampoo from her, "you're not here for very long," she continued as she squeezed some shampoo into her hand, put the bottle aside and started to wash Carmilla's hair; "I'd rather spend what little time we have left focusing on the present, not the past, okay?" Carmilla smiled and nodded. "And I promise you, Carm, if you can find a way to forgive me for all I've kept from you, I promise I will never lie to you again." She kissed her softly. "And I promise I'll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you if you'll let me."

_____________________

A few hours and a few beers later Carmilla sat with her friends, as together they mourned the loss of their friend. They'd eaten dinner, lit the fire pit and then gathered around it to share happy memories of Danny. Dark, Brody, and Nat had all told their favorite memories and were looking to Carmilla and Laura to go next.

"I remember the first time I saw Danny," Laura began quietly, a small smile on her face. "It was the first day of class and every single boy, and some of the girls, couldn't help but watch her as she walked in." She chuckled. "But Danny," she shook her head, "she didn't notice. And then she met my eyes and smiled. And then, suddenly, everyone was looking at me." She blushed. "It took me more than a month to work up the nerve to talk to her," she finished as she wiped away a tear. "And I'm going to miss her."

"To Danny," Dark said as the silence stretched, his beer held aloft until everyone echoed him.

"I'm not going to pretend that I always liked Danny," Carmilla started after sipping her beer. "I thought she was a stubborn, headstrong, self-righteous wannabe martyr." She chuckled. "And maybe she was all those things, but she was also strong, and brave, and most of all, she was a fighter." She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "And I am proud, no lucky, to have called her a friend." She lifted her beer. "I'll miss you, Danny, you deserved so much more from life than you got, and I'm sorry my shit of a brother took that from you."

"Hear, hear!" Brody cheered.

They grew quiet after that, each lost in their own sadness. She felt Laura take her hand and lace their fingers as she laid her head on her shoulder.

"Tired?" she asked her.

"It's been a long day," Laura replied with a yawn but then leaned in and whispered, her voice low with desire; "But I'm not that tired."

"You did win the bet after all," she chuckled and looked to the others. "We're going to call it a night."

"When do you head back?" Dark asked as they both stood and shared a hug.

"Not sure," Carmilla replied and looked to Laura.

"Your plane leaves at one," she provided with a smile. "Should give you plenty time before the fight."

"Guess we'll be leaving here around noon then," Carmilla provided with a sidelong glance at Laura; she didn't remember mentioning Bec's fight. She looked over to Brody; "Watch out for him?"

"Always," Dark replied. "Go on, you guys deserve a night off," he added as he pushed them towards the elevator.

"We do at that," Carmilla chuckled and led Laura over to the elevator. She pressed the button for their floor, leaned against the wall and pulled Laura into her arms for the short trip. The shorter women melted into her and then sighed audibly when the elevator door opened. "You okay?" Carmilla shook her head and sighed deeply. "Of course you're not okay, how could you be?" Carmilla laced their fingers and pulled her towards their apartment. She turned to study her as they reached the door to their bedroom. "But you will be."

"Can we not?" Laura sighed and pulled her into their bedroom.

"Not what?"

"Talk," she supplied and pulled her shirt off over her head. "Can we," she shrugged, "you know, maybe…"

` "Forget about all this for awhile?" Carmilla finished for her as closed the distance between them. "I think we can do that." She smiled as she let Laura take her shirt off for her. She lowered Laura to the bed and then lay down on top of her. "Do you have any idea how much I missed you?" She pushed the hair from Laura's face and traced her eyebrows with a finger. "Every day," she smiled and kissed her, "you were the first thing I thought about every morning." She kissed her neck and worked her way down to her collarbone. "And the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep." She kissed her softly as Laura reversed their positions.

"Carm, you should know," Laura said as they parted, "you really are the only woman I've ever slept with." She smiled crookedly. "I wasn't lying about that."

"So you and Danny," she started carefully, "you didn't?"

"No," Laura blushed. "We almost did, but I, uh, couldn't."

"Why not?" Carmilla questioned. "She was beautiful, kind, and sexy, you know, for a giant."

"She wasn't you," Laura replied simply.

"You hadn't even met me yet," Carmilla stated.

"No," Laura blushed deepened, "but I'd been following your story since your Dad died. I mean, I didn't know it at the time, but I think, until I met you, whether it worked out or not, no one else would stand a chance."

"So you and Danny, you dated?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"It was never that serious," Laura deflected.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't like her," she shrugged. "Seemed like a good enough reason at the time."

"I suppose," Carmilla smiled and rolled Laura back to her back. "I thought we were supposed to not be talking?" She ran a hand down to her breast. "Cause, I, um, don't know about you, but I haven't so much as touched myself in the last four weeks." She said, emphasizing her need by pressing herself into Laura's hip. "And forgetting about why I'm here?" She kissed her chest and moved her bra aside. "Sounds pretty good right now."

"Carm?" Laura sighed and waited for her to look up from where she was about to take her nipple in her mouth. "I haven't either." She smiled. "Didn't seem fair when you I knew you probably wouldn't."

"Hmmm," Carmilla hummed thoughtfully as she went to kiss her. "You did win our bet." She rolled off her and laid on her back. "So how do you want me?"

Laura sat up and then straddled her, her fingertips ghosting over her stomach. She smiled as she took off her bra and tossed it aside. She reached for her hand, pulled her up and undid her bra for her and tossed it aside as well.

"How do I want you?" Laura said, her voice deep with want. "I want you," she leaned in to whisper as she cupped Laura's ass; "to fuck me like an animal." She bit at her neck and elicited a moan. "Make me forget about all of it."

Then

(Five Weeks Ago)

_Laura and Danny sat on the couch, both somewhat focused on the movie they were watching, but Laura was quite aware of Danny's arm around her shoulder and the butterflies she was causing just by stroking her arm._

_"Earth to Laura, you okay?" Danny prodded as the movie ended._

_Laura sighed and leaned into her; all the reasons why this was a bad idea repeating themselves. She'd gotten to know Danny in an effort to figure out what Will was up to. Or, at least, that's what it was supposed to be. She sighed again as Danny started running her hand through her hair. They'd been working up to this for weeks and now that it was so close she wasn't sure she was ready. She felt Danny's other hand on her jaw, gently tilting her head up and into a kiss. Danny knotted her hand in Laura's hair as she pulled her onto her to her lap so that she was straddling her. She inhaled sharply and pulled away when she felt Danny's hands sneak under the back of the shoulder._

_"Danny, stop…" she said as she pulled away and trailed off at the look of hurt on the redhead's face. "Danny, I'm sorry, I thought I could do this, but…"_

_"It's okay," Danny soothed and tried to kiss her but Laura stopped her with a hand on her chest._

_"No, it's not," Laura sighed and climbed off her. "I thought I was ready for this, but I'm not."_

_"Laura I can wait, there's no rush," Danny assured her._

_"No, I mean, this whole dating thing," she sighed. "I can't do this right now."_

_"Is there someone else?" Danny questioned trying but failing, to hide her jealousy._

_"No," Laura replied but even to her it sounded false._

* * *

 

"Laura," Carmilla whispered into her ear and nudged her. "We've got company."

Laura opened her eyes and squinted against the sunlight as she turned her head to face her smiling girlfriend. It was Friday morning and their friends would finally be leaving them alone the next day. They decided on one last trip to the beach and she, Carmilla and Dark were out sunbathing on the raft floating on the lake. She accepted Carmilla's kiss and then looked towards the beach to see Danny swimming towards them.

"And you're starting to burn," Carmilla informed as she reached for the sunblock lotion. She watched as Carmilla squirted a generous amount in her hand, rubbed her hands together and then sighed as she rubbed it into her back.

"Hey," Danny greeted as she reached them and rested her elbows on the raft. "I was wondering," she glanced at Carmilla, "if Carm doesn't mind, of course, if we could go for a walk, just you and me?" she finished as she looked back to Laura.

Laura turned to her; "Would you mind?"

"You don't need my permission," Carmilla chuckled. "But you'll wash off what I just put on."

"True," Laura smiled as Carmilla reached over to tie her bikini for her. "I'll put a shirt on when we get to shore." She pushed herself up to her knees. "We'll take the long way back," she said and kissed her cheek. "See you at the cabin," she added, stood and dived over Danny's head into the lake. "Race you back," Laura challenged when she surfaced, turned and swam for shore.

Danny, with her longer legs and arms, easily caught up and the two reached the shore at the same time. Neither spoke as they gathered their things and quickly dressed, Laura stealing Carmilla's red flannel shirt and draping it over her slightly sunburnt shoulders. She pulled on a pair of shorts and her runners and then followed Danny to the path that was slightly longer than the path that followed the shore.

They walked in silence until they reached a small clearing, benches set around its perimeter with a fire pit in the middle. "Sit?" Laura suggested as she noticed Danny seemed a little out of breath. Danny nodded and followed her over to a bench. "Altitude's a bitch, right?"

"Will I ever feel normal again?" Danny joked.

"It's just the altitude," Laura reminded her. "Me and Carm are doing okay cause we just got back from New Mexico," she shrugged. "We're a little more used to it." She studied her a moment. "Is everything okay?"

"Can I ask you something?" Danny questioned, and Laura nodded. "Did you ever have feelings for me?"

"I don't know that my answer will make you feel any better," Laura sidestepped.

"Laura, please," Danny huffed. "I keep thinking, I mean, was I crazy?" Danny looked to her. "Cause it sure felt like you did," she finished and looked down.

"Maybe I did," Laura admitted and Danny again met her eyes.

"Then why did you push me away?" Danny asked but when Laura couldn't reply she pushed; "And don't give me this crap about already being in love with Carmilla." She stood, walked a few away and then turned to her. "You can't honestly expect me to believe that you fell for her before you even met her?" She ran her hands roughly through her hair. "After all the horrible things I told you about her? I can't see how…" She'd been pacing but when she turned back to her the hurt on Danny's face rendered her speechless. "She's the only reason I met you, isn't it?" she asked, her voice raised.

"Danny, please keep your voice down," Laura said as she rushed to stand in front of her, "sound carries differently out here."

"Of course," Danny hissed, "wouldn't want Carm finding out the truth, would we?" She shook her head. "Tell me the truth, Laura, you owe me at least that; why did you take my class? Was it to meet Carm?"

"No," Laura replied quietly, "I knew, from Bob, that you two were on the outs. I was trying to get information about Will."

"You didn't answer my first question," Danny pointed out. "Did you have feelings for me?"

"I did," Laura admitted and shook her head as she went to sit again. "But I was already working on getting into the gym and…"

"Being with me would have complicated things?" Danny asked and sat beside her.

"It wasn't only that," Laura confided and sighed. "I've been following Carm for almost two years, and yes, I had a huge crush on her." She shook her head. "I know it doesn't make any sense, it's stupid really, I know, but it just hit me; until I met her, until I knew whether we could be together, no one else would ever stand a chance."

"Even after everything I told you?" Danny blurted.

"I knew she might not be the person I'd built her up to be in my head, I did, but I had to find out," Laura countered. "Also, given what did happen, you getting sick, I think I was justified in trying to keep you out of this."

"Was everything you ever said, did, a lie?" Danny asked, sadness tainting her voice.

"No," Laura sighed. "I wanted," she took a deep breath and took Danny's hand. "You don't know, how many times I wished that I could feel more for you." Danny met her eyes. "Why wouldn't I?" She smiled. "You're amazing, beautiful, brave," she sighed. "You're everything a girl could want, but until I got Carm out of my system I knew it wouldn't be fair to you. Until I figured out how I felt about Carm," she shook her head. "You deserve someone who can love you as much, and as well, as you love them. Until I knew, I knew I could never be that person." She squeezed Danny's hand. "I'm sorry, Danny, but you asked for the truth." Danny stood and walked away. "And that's the truth." Danny turned her back to her again. "And I am Danny, sorry, I mean. I never meant to hurt you."

"Yeah, well, you failed," Danny muttered and shook her head as she turned back to her. "I don't think I can do this Laura. Being around you again," she rubbed her face. "Lying to Carm. It's too much. Frank's working on getting my Dad cleared so he can work again. He said it'll probably take a few weeks but we're leaving as soon as he does."

"I understand," Laura sighed and went to stand in front of her again. "But, and maybe I shouldn't say this, but I don't want you to go."

"Why?"

"Cause you're my friend and I'll miss you."

"No," Danny countered. "You want me to stay because you're afraid of being lonely when she leaves."

"I do need your help with her book," Laura supplied.

"Fine," Danny chuckled, "I'll 'help with the book', at least until I leave, okay?"

"Thanks," she trailed off at the sound of a breaking twig from the opposite direction from where they entered the clearing from.

"Hey," Carmilla greeted as she joined them. "We got back and you weren't there, I got worried." She walked to them and laced her fingers with Laura's. "Should I be worried?" her voice laced with insecurity.

"No," Danny laughed. "All I ever wanted was for to Laura to be happy." She looked back to Laura. "Was there a time when I wished I was the one who could do that?" She shrugged and looked back to Carmilla. "Maybe, but I missed my chance. You make her happy," she chuckled, "anyone can see that."

"But it can't be easy," Carmilla offered. "Look, Danny, I care about you, if you feel you should go, then you should go."

"And you're not just saying that cause you're afraid I'll try to win Laura over?" Danny joked.

"I'm saying that cause," Carmilla sighed, "everything is about to get a lot more dangerous. She's already targeted you, multiple times," she smiled and took Danny's hand with her free one. "I don't want you to get hurt again."

"I'm a big girl, I can handle myself," Danny offered.

"I know you can," Carmilla assured her, "I just wish you didn't have to."

"I know," Danny smiled. "But I'm also not your responsibility."

"You can say that," Carmilla said sadly, "but the simple fact is; all the shit that's happened to you wouldn't have happened if you hadn't had the misfortune of meeting me." She pulled Danny into a hug. "Don't stay just because we want you to, okay?"

Danny looked at Laura over Carmilla's head; "Okay."

"Good," Carmilla said with a smile as she pushed her away. "But, um…"

"You'd like a little time alone with your girlfriend?" Danny teased with a smile as she pushed her away. "We are leaving tomorrow," she reminded her.

"I know," Carmilla laughed, "but I leave in less than a week and…"

"You want to spend as much time together as you can?" Danny offered and received Carmilla's nod. "It's okay, I get it. I'll see you guys in a bit, okay?"

"Thanks, Danny," Laura finally spoke up and gave her a hug, "for understanding," she added, only loud enough for Danny to hear.

"I'm trying," she whispered, gave her one last squeeze and then headed for the path to the cabin.

Laura watched her leave, shook her head and went to sit again.

"You okay?" Carmilla asked as she straddled her where she sat.

Laura shrugged; she didn't have any answers she could give Carmilla at the moment. She ran her hands under Carmilla's shirt and pulled her into a kiss. She hated hurting Danny. Hated that the truth only made it worse. Maybe there would always be a little piece of her that wondered what would have happened if she'd given her and Danny a chance, but as she kissed her way down Carmilla's neck to her chest she knew she'd never felt for Danny what she felt for Carmilla. Danny deserved more than she could have ever given her. She deserved someone who loved her the way she loved Carmilla and Carmilla loved her.

"Carm?" Laura said as she looked up to her, her voice already deep with desire. "Promise me, when this is over, that we're never apart for that long again."

"Given how much I'm dreading being away from you?" Carmilla smiled. "Even if I can't really promise, because really, who knows what might come up, I promise to try."

"Good," Laura agreed and kissed her. "I love you Carm, and I already miss you."

"Me too," Carmilla sighed and pulled Laura's head to her chest. "But once it's over we'll never be apart again unless it's unavoidable." Laura looked up to her. "I do promise you that."


	10. The Question of 'Why'?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's late folks. Work has been stupid. I'll keep doing my best to post every couple of weeks.

Now

(Two Weeks to Go)

Carmilla woke the next morning and found herself separated from Laura by her kitten Trill. She turned to her side and pet his head, the little black cat purring immediately. She smiled and looked at Laura, her kitten Luna was stretched out along her naked spine. She reached over to pet the orange Bengal, the kitten stretching and digging her nails into Laura's back lightly as she purred. Laura turned her head to face her, a small content smile on her face even though she was still asleep. Her attention was drawn back to Trill when he head-butted her chin. She chuckled softly as he flopped beside her and waited for a belly rub. Carmilla lay her head back on the pillow as she pet him, gazing at Laura.

She'd already begun to wonder how well she knew the woman she loved, now that Laura had all but confirmed her suspicions, that she was indeed hiding something, the question of 'what' wasn't as big as the question of 'why'. The obvious reason was fear of Deanna finding out Laura secrets and then using them against her. One thing was clear, though; both Frank and Dark knew the truth. Again the question was why? Or more specifically, why were they helping her?

"This," she thought and chuckled softly, "is why she won't just tell me." Carmilla couldn't help but think, that despite her ignorance of Laura's past, Laura definitely knew her well. She'd spent too much of her life trying to figure out Deanna's next move, it was all she knew. What it would always come down to, was trust. Did she trust Frank and Dark? If she did, she had no reason not to trust Laura. She sighed, again the question was why?

She leaned over Trill to kiss Laura's shoulder, lingered a moment as she inhaled her scent, sighed and rolled away to get out of bed when Laura's vice-like grip on her wrist stopped her. Carmilla met her fear-filled gaze as she breathed; "Stay."

"I'm just going to the bathroom and to make some coffee," she assured her as she pried her fingers from her wrist. She pulled her hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles. She glanced at the clock and noted the time; she had a little over three hours before she had to leave. "It's early yet, go back to sleep."

Laura nodded and closed her eyes as she pulled her hand to her chest.

She watched her until her breathing evened out, sighed and got up. She grabbed her robe and headed to the kitchen to start the coffeemaker before heading to the guest bathroom. Once she was done, she went to wash her hands and splash some water on her face before glancing at the mirror and chuckling. Laura had left a small, but very dark, hickey on her neck. She shook her head and dried her face before heading to her office.

Carmilla went directly to her file cabinet and retrieved Laura's background check while she ignored the temptation to grab her laptop instead and find the truth for herself. She'd made a promise, though, in fact, she'd made several in the last couple of days and she intended to honor them all. Finding what she was looking for she headed back out to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. She leaned over the counter and opened the folder to read Laura's background check. It was the first time she'd ever given the document anything more than a cursory glance as she preferred to learn about Laura's past the more traditional way; by talking.

She sipped her coffee absentmindedly as she read, only one thing was clear; why Frank had done a background check in the first place. She shook her head and sighed. He did it so she wouldn't ask too many questions. So Laura wouldn't have to outright lie. Okay, maybe it was only part of the answer; she still had no clue whose idea it was. Did Laura request it to aid her deception or had Frank done it of his own violation after finding the truth?

"Carm?"

She turned to find Laura watching her from the doorway. She smiled slightly and sighed.

"Are we okay?" Laura asked, unable to meet her eyes.

She stood up straight, walked over to her and lifted her chin with a finger.

"Do I have questions?" she asked gently. "Of course I do. Do I have doubts?" She shrugged. "Yeah." She reached up to stroke her cheek. "It comes down to trust." She stated and searched her eyes. "Right now I don't know how much I trust you," she admitted, the truth hurting her as much as Laura. "But Frank and Dark seem to know the truth," she gauged her reaction, "and I've never had any reason not to trust them. If they're helping you, as I suspect they are, they must have a damned good reason." She surprised her by kissing her softly. "I have been happier since I met you than I have in my whole life combined, I can only hope that this, what we have, wasn't just a way to…"

"Carm stop, please," Laura pleaded. "With the all the things I haven't told you, not once have I lied about my feelings for you." She sighed and looked down. "Except, maybe, just how long I've had them."

"Is that why you and Danny didn't work out?" Laura nodded. "Tell me one thing, something you probably shouldn't." Laura rubbed her face and went to make herself a cup of coffee, unable again to hold her gaze. "I understand, Laura, I do," she prodded. "I may not know how you convinced Frank to alter your background check," she shrugged. "At the time I'd assumed he'd done one at all was just my paranoia rubbing off on him." She placed her hand on the small of Laura's back. "But he did it because you wanted out of telling lies, right?" Laura met her eyes and nodded. "You should have let me finish," she teased.

"What?"

"I hope, despite everything else, that what we have is real." She turned Laura to face and kissed her forehead. "Because if it is, there is nothing I won't do to hold onto it." She kissed her again. "Got it?"

"Even though you don't trust me?"

"Trust is easier to lose than it is to rebuild," she offered, Laura no longer able to meet her gaze. "But if someone wants it badly enough, it's not impossible." Laura looked up again. "Do you want it?"

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Laura replied without hesitation but then paused as she considered her words. "I'll tell you one thing so long as you don't question it further," she suggested and waited on Carmilla's nod before continuing. "I've seen every single one of your fights in person."

"But you're only nineteen and some of the fights were in bars," Carmilla blurted in her shock. "Wait!" she gasped and stepped back. "How old are you?"

"See?" Laura chuckled. "I'll be twenty-five in October."

"Why lie about your age?" she questioned, only her confusion reflected in her voice.

"Because it was easier than explaining what I've been doing for the last five years and I didn't want Deanna finding out," Laura admitted. "I'm sorry, Carm, I still can't explain, not until you come home."

"Why not?" she questioned. "Because you think it'll distract me?"

"Yes," Laura replied. "But that isn't the only reason."

"No?"

"There is so much we need to talk about, that I need to tell you, to explain," she replied, almost pleading. "I've loved you since before I knew what that even meant," she continued, her eyes filling with tears. "I don't," she shook her head. "I'm so afraid of losing you that I'm terrified that's exactly what'll happen if I tell you now and then you have two weeks to…"

"Build crazy theories in my head?" she offered as Laura's tears fell. "I understand."

"You do?" Laura sniffed.

"I love you," she chuckled softly and wiped her tears. "Even if I clearly have no idea who you are."

"That background check, except for a few omissions and time changes, is pretty accurate up to the time I turned nineteen," Laura offered weakly.

"Time changes?"

"The thing with Derrick happened a few years ago," Laura supplied to her surprise.

"That's why you were surprised that Frank included it?" she surmised.

"That and my miscarriage," Laura answered. "I would have found a way to tell you," she shrugged. "Almost everything I've told you about me is true, except when it happened."

"Like the fact that my Father's obituary and your Mother's couldn't have been on the same page?" Laura nodded. She kissed her forehead again. "We'll figure it out, okay?"

"Yeah?" Laura asked uncertainly.

"Is Laura Hollis your real name?" Carmilla asked with a small smile.

"Yes," Laura chuckled. "Trust me, it's one of the many arguments I've had with Dad since I found out."

"No," Carmilla countered. "He knew she wouldn't out you because she'd have to admit how she knows." She smiled. "She might have been more afraid of you than I ever was of her."

"How do you figure?" Laura questioned skeptically.

"Because your Father could have, at any time, taken everything from her," she shook her head as it dawned on her. "She couldn't kill me before I turned twenty-one because she had no guarantee your Father wouldn't go ahead and prove Will's paternity." She smiled. "Your Father might have saved my life." She could tell Laura wasn't following. "She had to wait until I turned twenty-one, prove Will wasn't a Karnstein so I got his money, and then force me to change my Will."

"But you ran away and messed up her plan," Laura offered.

"She went to the backup plan," Carmilla theorized. "Got Will on her side, or thought she did and was going to wait until he turned twenty-one so he changed his Will and then kill him before paternity was proven."

"But Will fucked that up too," Laura laughed. "He wanted all of it, helped her only insomuch as it helped him."

"God, Laura," Carmilla lamented, "if you weren't in her crosshairs before…"

"That hadn't escaped me," Laura confided and turned her attention to her coffee. "She, um, didn't take the news very well."

"What happened?"

"Rick was leading the search of the estate when he found out," Laura replied and went to retrieve her cigarettes. "When she got the news, on Monday I mean, she was shocked."

"She's a good actress," Carmilla countered.

"No, I was there," Laura admitted. "She wasn't faking."

"Why…" she was about to ask but trailed off at the shake of Laura's head.

"Forgot the why, for now, please?" Carmilla nodded reluctantly. "She wasn't in on it. She thought he was dead. Her reaction to what happened on Wednesday?" She shook her head. "She had no clue he was alive." She sighed deeply and nodded to the balcony. Carmilla smiled and followed her outside. "I've got no witnesses," she sighed. "She's already trying to have me arrested."

"What about Betty?" she asked as Laura lit her cigarette.

"Rick saw her yesterday morning," she said as she exhaled. "Danny asked her to go to the storage room she shared with the basement suite. Will knocked her out from behind, drugged her and tied her up."

"I wonder how he was going to explain that," Carmilla speculated.

"He wouldn't have had to," Laura confided. "Apparently, the tenants downstairs sublet their apartment for the summer."

"To Will?"

"Yup," she replied. "There was enough gasoline and explosives jammed in there that he'd have taken out the house on either side."

"And with Betty right at the source," Carmilla sighed and nabbed Laura's smoke for a drag.

"There might not have been a body left to identify," Laura supplied.

"So he'd been planning this for awhile," Carmilla frowned. "It was him. He was the one trying to keep me off the show."

"Pretty sure the Jeep was Deanna," Laura speculated. "I also think he was planning on hiding in plain sight until he got a chance to..." She took her cigarette back and inhaled deeply. "Danny was personal."

"No, Danny was a pawn," Carmilla clarified. "He'd have used her death to draw you out, kill you and get me home." She took Laura's arms in her hands. "He lucked out when you went after her."

"Or someone warned him I was coming," Laura countered darkly.

"Any likely suspects?"

"We're working on it," Laura replied vaguely for the first time.

Carmilla smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Laura?" she started, unsure of what to say. She had so many questions only Laura could answer. So many doubts only she could quell. Looking in her eyes she knew only one thing for sure; Laura's love for her was as deep and as real as hers. "Thank you for trusting me with as much as you have." She smiled as Laura smiled weakly. "Yes, I do see the irony," she joked. "But the greater irony is that, all this time I've been trying to protect you when you never needed my protection to begin with." She tucked some of Laura's hair behind her ear. "Were you ever a naïve little nineteen-year-old?"

"No," she sighed, "I lost my naivety the day my mother died."

"We're going to make her pay, Laura, she won't get away with any of it, you know that right?" she promised her. "I'm never going to let her hurt you, or anyone else, ever again." She studied her a moment. "Will may have held the knife, but she made him what he was. She's responsible. She killed your Mother, not the man she paid to do the deed." She tried to reign in her anger. "I see that now." She sighed. "She made me what I am too," she shrugged and walked away. "Conditioned me just as surely as she manipulated him." She turned and met her eyes. "I'm done cleaning up after her. Done waiting to have my life." She walked back to her and took her hands. "I am done being afraid." Suddenly the depth of Laura's earlier plea of 'Stay," hit home. "I'm not going anywhere, Laura, no matter what you tell me. Whatever you've done, whatever it is that you think will make me give up on the best thing to ever happen to me, I'm yours," she kissed her and then showed her the Promise Ring they'd exchanged. "For better or worse, okay?" Laura nodded. "We've been through some worse already, and it probably won't get any better anytime soon," she smiled. "But the little bits we do get?"

"Helps deal with the bad?" Laura supplied.

"Makes me fight even harder for the day we finally tip the scales," she replied. "For the day the good outweighs the bad." She reached up and took the edges of her robes in her fingers. "We have a little time left." She leaned in and kissed her neck. "What do you say we head back to bed for a bit?" She opened her robe and ran her fingertips along her chest as Laura looked over her shoulder.

"We don't have that much time," Laura sighed as she kissed her neck again.

"Or we could take a shower and save it for the three-hour flight," she suggested.

"I can't," Laura confided. "I'm not supposed to leave the city, let alone the country."

"So you can't even drive to the airport with me?" she questioned sadly.

"No," she smiled, "I think I can do that."

"Okay," Carmilla said as she led her back to the bedroom. "We go back to bed for a bit, take a shower, make something to eat and take it with us." She smiled and took Laura's robe off for her. "What do you say?"

"I say," Laura replied, her voice deep as she opened the drawer of their bedside table and took out one of their toys, "you fuck me good, hard and fast," she suggested as she handed her the Feeldoe.

She took the toy from her hand, tossed it on the bed and then pushed Laura onto the bed before slowing removing her own robe. "What if…" she started as she laid down beside her and trailed her fingers down her body, "I'd rather you fuck me?" she asked and kissed her neck. "Slow and hard?"

"I don't know," Laura said as she reversed their positions, "if I can do slow." She leaned in and started to kiss and nibble at her neck as her right hand made its way to her breast. "I missed you so much, Kitten," she sighed as her hand had continued lower. "And I see how much you missed me," she chuckled deeply as she entered her with two fingers. "You sure," she started as she kissed her way downwards, "you really want slow?" She took her nipple in her mouth as she took her fingers from inside her, stroked her clit and then entered her again.

"Laura, please," she pleaded as she met her thrust for thrust and then groaned as Laura took her hand away, moaning moments later as Laura settled herself between her legs and entered her deftly with the toy. They started slow, staring into each other eyes as Carmilla wrapped her legs around her waist. She knotted her hand in Laura's hair and pulled her into a kiss as they picked up the pace. Laura broke the kiss and moaned with her neck stretched above her. She pulled her down and bit her neck, sucking when she felt Laura start to quake. "Oh God, Laura!" she gasped as her own climax hit and Laura returned the favor and bit down on her neck. Laura slowed her thrusts as Carmilla stilled and pulled her into a long and tender kiss. "Don't ever leave me," she implored.

"Never," Laura replied fiercely and kissed her, breaking it as their alarm clock sounded. "Damn…" she sighed and rested their foreheads together.

Carmilla reversed their positions and reached for the snooze button without letting the Feeldoe slip from inside her. She leaned back over Laura and rocking her hips asked; "One more round before I go?" She pulled Laura up and into her arms while she wrapped her legs around her. Laura wrapped both arms around her and dug her nails into her shoulders as they kissed. She dropped one hand to her rear end, encouraging her to pick up her pace as the other found her clit.

"Fuck!" Carmilla hissed and groaned when Laura clamped her mouth over her nipple. "Oh God, I'm going to… oh God!"

Laura moved her other hand and held her tightly as her orgasm washed through her and then laid her on her back and picked up her pace until she too was panting through her climax, laughing when the alarm sounded again. She pulled the toy out of her and then leaned back to hit the snooze button again before removing the toy from inside herself and then laid back down with her head on her shoulder.

Carmilla turned her head and kissed Laura's forehead.

"That," she sighed, "that just might hold me for two weeks."

Laura looked up, met her eyes and then chuckled softly; "Sorry."

"For what?" Carmilla asked, perplexed.

"For this," she sighed as she ran her fingers over a spot on her neck and then to one on her collarbone.

"Hey," Carmilla cooed, "considering we went from having sex almost every day for six weeks and then nothing for four weeks?" She kissed her. "I'm surprised we didn't leave more marks on each other."

"I suppose," Laura smiled. "I swear sometimes you're part Vampire, but I'm not the one with a fight announcement later today."

"How did you know there's a fight today?" Carmilla questioned, wondering, as always lately, if she would answer the question.

"Because you mentioned the fight announcement," Laura deflected. "I assumed the fight and next fight announcement happens on the same day." Carmilla considered questioning her further, about Beth and the driver who seemed to have befriended her, but the alarm went off again and reminded them both that their time was running short. "We should get moving."

Laura stood and held her hand out to her. Carmilla sat up and moved to the edge of her bed to wrap her arms around her a moment before Laura led her into the bathroom and over to the shower. They washed each other among kisses, each and every one so bittersweet that soon Carmilla could no longer stem her tears.

"Hey, hey, hey," Laura cooed, "it's only another two weeks, Kitten."

"All this time," Carmilla sniffed, "when I was at my lowest in the house, I was so scared I'd come home to find you gone." She looked down. "That your feelings would change while I wasn't around." She met her eyes again. "That's why you've hidden all this, isn't it?" she asked, another piece of the puzzle falling into place. "Are you really that worried that I'll leave you?"

"Yes," Laura admitted as tears ran down her face. "I can't help you if you never want to speak to me again."

"How can you think I'd ever leave you when it's killing me to leave you now?" Carmilla questioned. "Have you ever worked for either Deanna or Will?" Laura shook her head. "Then there's nothing you can tell me that's going to change how I feel."

"I hope you're right," Laura replied doubtfully.

They both jumped at a knock on the bathroom door.

"Hey you two," Steven called, "we leave in fifteen."

"Okay," Carmilla called back. "Ask Dark or Brody to make us a couple of protein shakes, please?"

"Already waiting for you," he replied.

"Thanks," Laura answered and turned back to her. "You done?" Carmilla nodded and turned off the water. "C'mon," she added as she pulled her from the shower.

They both walked quickly to the bedroom and got dressed without talking. There was still so many questions Carmilla wanted to ask. So many things she wanted to say. But now was not the time.

"Carm?" Laura said, getting her attention. "Are you planning to keep your ring with you?"

"I don't plan on taking it off again until our wedding day," she said fondly as she studied her ring. "You know," she shrugged, "except for when I have to."

"I got you this," Laura said as she revealed a slender box and handed it to her, "for those times when you have no choice but to take it off."

Carmilla opened it and smiled; inside was a simple silver necklace.

"It's beautiful," Carmilla said as she took it from the box and handed it to Laura. "Put it on for me?" she requested as she lifted the hair from her neck and turned her back to her.

"It belonged to my Mother," Laura confided as she did the clasp before kissing her neck. She went to kneel in front of her. "I already miss you," she said wistfully.

"Me too," Carmilla kissed her forehead. "Every day that we spend apart feels a month long," she shook her head. "And I feel like I've been here for minutes, not a day and a bit." She sighed. "I almost wish I'd lost so I didn't have to go back."

"You can win this thing, Carm, you know that right?"

"If I can get past my next fight I might," Carmilla replied with a chuckle. "I don't know," she sighed again. "I'm fighting the number two seed."

"Hey guys," Steven interrupted from the door, "we need to get going."

"What's the point of owning a plane if you have to stick to a schedule?" Carmilla joked.

"It's not the plane that has a schedule," Steven replied.

"True," she sighed. "Let's get going." Laura grabbed her backpack while she grabbed her own before following Steven out. "How's Betty doing?" she asked as she grabbed their protein shakes.

"We're picking her up on the way home," he replied tonelessly.

"Steven?" Laura said in concern as she went and placed a hand on his arm. "Is she okay?"

"We..." he croaked out.

"Oh Steven, no," Laura gasped and hugged him.

"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" Carmilla questioned gently.

Steven met her eyes over Laura's head, his were filled with tears. When he didn't answer Laura looked up to him and answered for him; "They found out a couple of weeks ago," she muttered and turned to her, "Betty was pregnant."

"Oh Steven," she said and rushed over to him, "I'm sorry seems so inadequate."

"It's not your fault," he said after kissing the top of Laura's head and pushing her away. "Neither of you," he told Laura. "Okay?"

"He's right, Laura," Carmilla agreed as she rubbed her back. "It's no one's fault but hers, Deanna's." Laura nodded. "We need to get going though."

As the three made their way downstairs and out to Steven's Compass, Carmilla felt the familiar taste of rage rising like bile in her throat. Another life ended in the name of greed, this time, Will's. They got in the back, did up their seat belts and automatically laced their fingers. With so many questions mixed in with the anger, she had nothing left to say.

She sighed and looked out the window as they pulled away from the gym; maybe justice wasn't enough. So many deaths could be traced back to Deanna, would hers even, satisfy her thirst for vengeance? Maybe death was too good for her. All the pain she has caused, she deserved at least that much and so much more. She deserved to suffer.

Carmilla sighed again and turned to Laura as she ghosted her fingers along her forearm to get her attention.

"She's going to pay, Carm, for all of it."

"I don't know," she muttered. "So much can be blamed on her, I'm not sure she'll live long enough to pay for her crimes." She looked down to their hands and then the scar on Laura's arm. "I forgot to mention," she smiled as she went to trace it. "I had an idea about our tattoos." She met her eyes. "I was thinking about your analogy on the way home." She pulled Laura's hand to her lips. "You know the one about the mountains?"

"It's not mine," Laura admitted. "My Mom," she sniffed. "I was there the night she was attacked. All our Krav Maga training and it was nothing against two guys with knives. One ran off as soon as Mom was stabbed, the other," she sighed. "Him I put in the hospital." She shook her head and wiped a tear from her eye as she pulled her bag into her lap. She pulled her hand from her grip so she could take her tablet from her bag, fiddled with it a moment and then turned it to her. "Something like that?"

"Great minds think alike," she smiled; Laura must have had the same idea for she was looking at their Phoenix tattoos, a mountain range now at the bottom. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because if I was eight when it happened it wouldn't have made much sense," she reasoned. "But I was almost fifteen and been studying Krav Maga with my Mom for seven years." She shrugged. "I gave it up after, moved on to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Tae Kwon Do." Carmilla was speechless. "I couldn't walk in the classroom, it reminded me too much of her."

"You've always been a target," Carmilla shook her head. "She meant to take you both out." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "She knew who you were the minute you came into my life." She shook her head and met her eyes. "Deanna is more afraid of you than you know." She could see Laura's doubt. "If she wasn't she would have outed you at the airport."

"Maybe," Laura conceded. "I hope you believe me, that I only just found out about my Dad, I didn't do this for revenge, well, not my revenge."

Carmilla regarded her a moment and then noticed, over her shoulder, that they were almost at the airport. She met her eyes again and saw that they swam with unshed tears. She smiled and kissed her softly.

"Please don't cry," she urged. "If you start I won't be able to stop." She wiped Laura's tears as they fell, her own stinging her cheeks. "I believe you, baby."

"You do?" Laura choked out.

"You've told me enough," she shook her head. "You've told me more than I expected or could've fathomed." She reached up and stroked her cheek. "Whatever's going on," she smiled. "If we can make it through this, we can make it through anything." She kissed her softly. "Sure I have questions," she shrugged, "I'm bound to have more by the time I get home, but," she kissed her. "But," she continued more firmly; "you've promised me answers when I get home." She smiled. "For now, that's enough."

"Carm," Laura muttered, "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know," she smiled. "We'll be okay, okay?"

"Thank you for not pushing," Laura replied.

"You want to tell me," she stated. "That helps."

They came to a stop at the security station and waited while Steven gave them their identification.

"Thanks for driving us," Carmilla said to Steven with a squeeze of his shoulder.

"I figured Laura would want the company for the drive home," he replied as they pulled up in front of her jet.

Laura and Carmilla got out without a word, walked to the base of the stairs and faced each other, both of them again fighting tears.

"It's just another two weeks," Laura commented, her voice barely steady.

"Fourteen days."

"About," Laura looked at her watch, "three hundred and forty hours."

Carmilla stroked her cheek and kissed her tenderly.

"I wish I could stay," Carmilla said, her voice strained.

"Me too," Laura chuckled. "But you have a championship to go win."

"And you have an evil stepmother to bring to justice," Carmilla said lightly.

"Miss Karnstein!?" Julie called from the top of the stairs. "We leave in ten," she provided when they looked her way.

Carmilla looked back to her girlfriend.

"Take better care of yourself?" she implored. "Maybe up the protein and sugar in your shakes?"

"I should have stepped on the scale for you," Laura joked. "I've only lost a couple of pounds."

"Muscle does weigh more than fat," Carmilla said with a smile. "Be careful?"

"Always," she replied and kissed her softly. "Good luck."

"You too," Carmilla whispered . "Don't stay, just drive away, okay?" Laura nodded and kissed her one last time. She leaned their foreheads together a moment, kissed hers and then turned to climb the stairs. She turned at the top and found Laura looking up to her. She waved and blew her a kiss. Carmilla mimicked her actions and then called; "I love you!"

"Love you too!" she called back.

Carmilla smiled and turned to walk onto the plane, tears stinging her eyes as she went to take a seat on the far side of the plane. She couldn't watch her drive away, she was barely holding it together as it was. She did up her seat belt and hugged her knees to her chest.

"Can I get you anything?" Julie offered.

"Patron over ice, a bottle of water and a sandwich, please," she answered. "Thanks."

Carmilla finished her sandwich by the time they took off and sipped her Tequila as she stared out the window. She let her mind wander as Vancouver fell away below them. Laura had told her more than she expected. She laughed dryly. She hated being right sometimes. Granted she'd had no idea it was this big.

A couple hours later and her mind had finally settled when the plane dipped slightly and the engines cut out. A man, maybe in his twenties wearing blue coveralls, burst from the cockpit and ran past her and Julie.

"Who was that?" Carmilla questioned.

"The mechanic," Julie replied, worry lacing her tone as she rushed in the direction he'd come. "I'll find out what's going on."

That wasn't good enough for her, though, and she rushed in behind her only to find the pilot silencing them with a hand.

"Las Vegas tower, we are losing fuel and altitude, please advise."

"You're twenty minutes out, can you make it?" they answered.

"Only just," he answered.

"Captain!" the mechanic interrupted. "I managed to get the emergency tank reconnected but our belly is full of fuel."

"Fuck!" the pilot hissed. "Control!" he stammered into the radio. "We're coming down hot. Clear the runway and have emergency services on standby."

Carmilla had been studying the mechanic the whole time; he was sweating and pale, and more, he was looking at her in absolute terror. She recognized him.

"Have the cops standing by," she demanded.

"What?" the pilot turned to her.

"He knows my brother, I met him last Christmas in Montreal," she supplied. "The question is; why are you on this plane?"

"She told me to disable it," he blurted, "but I didn't have time while you were in Vancouver."

"We don't have time for this!" Julie interrupted. "Bean, tell them to have the cops there." The pilot nodded. "You!" she twisted the mechanic's arm behind his back and pushed him back into the main cabin. "Don't move!" she commanded as she threw him into the seat across from Carmilla's. "Go grab anything you want to keep and then strap in," she ordered as she looked at Carmilla. "As soon as we land, run for the trucks, they'll stay out of the blast zone so get past them and you're safe."

Carmilla bolted for the bedroom, gathered the few things that were there and threw them into her bag. She ran back to her seat, threw her bag on an empty seat and then turned to the mechanic. She studied him a moment as he stared back at her in defiance.

"You fucking idiot!" she spat and backhanded him. "This is what she does! She burns the evidence! You? You're nothing but a loose end!"

"Carmilla!" Julie interrupted with a hand on her arm as she'd gone to hit him again. "He needs to be able to run!"

"Fine!" she hissed and took her seat. "You'd better run fast, you piece of shit because I am going to kick your ass!"

"And what good will that do?" Julie reasoned.

"It'll make me feel better," she joked evenly as she buckled up. "Are we going to be okay?" She questioned him, smiling when Julie smacked him in the back of the head when he didn't answer.

"Answer her!"

"I don't know," he stammered. "I installed the device but I didn't set it off!"

"Did you tell Deanna when I was leaving?" He nodded. "What's your name? I recognize you but I'm horrible with names."

"Julian."

Carmilla looked out the window as the plane again dipped suddenly.

"Run like hell? Got it?" Julie said as she placed Carmilla's bag on her lap and took the seat next to her. "Your girlfriend will kill me if I let anything happen to you."

"Who are you?" Carmilla questioned.

"You think she'd let you fly without protection?" she answered.

"The pilot? His name is Bean?" she asked as the plane again dipped and she took Julie's hand in fear.

"His real name is Brad but Frank, your lawyer, is his older brother."

"Frank and Beans?" Carmilla laughed. She looked back to the man across the way. "Who are you working for?"

"Deanna," he muttered. "She's going to kill them, my family."

"Not if you never make it off this plane," Julie countered and smiled when his face fell. "Or least that's the story we'll go with."

"Fake his death?" Carmilla questioned.

"Easiest way to protect him long enough for him to testify," Julie provided. "And get his family to safety," she added.

"Everyone hang on!" the pilot yelled back to them as the engines sputtered back to life.

Carmilla glanced out the window and saw the assembled emergency vehicles. She gripped Julie's hand in fear, the knuckles of her free hand turning white on the armrest.

The second they touched down they all reached for their seatbelts and met the pilot at the door. "Julie, you go first," he started as he cracked open the door and hit the button for the emergency slide. "Followed by Carmilla, Julian and then me."

"Why are we going first?" Carmilla questioned as she slipped on her backpack.

"You're the shortest," he stated.

"Short jokes? Now?" she laughed as she watched Julie slide down.

"It is what it is," he said as he pushed her toward the door. "Hit the ground running and don't look back."

She did as she was told, slid down and ran as fast as she could the moment she stood. She passed Julie easily and then heard footfalls behind her, turning her head as Julian passed her. She gritted her teeth and went after him, catching up to them as they passed they firetrucks and then tackled him into the grass.

A cell phone ringing from her bag distracted her a moment as the mechanic struggled beneath her. She straddled him and sat up to take her bag off, looking for the source when the plane exploded behind them.

Carmilla looked up to the sound of running and found Dana approaching with her driver right behind.

"You okay?" Dana questioned as he arrived.

"I'm fine!" she spat and looked to the man beneath her and punched him several times before Dana stopped her. "Get this piece of shit out of my face!" she hissed as she let Dana help her stand. She looked around for Brad. "Get us a new plane." He nodded. She looked at her watch and then to Dana. "Let's get out of here."

"You need to go the hospital, get checked out," he advised her.

"Bec fights in what, an hour? Hour and a half?" He nodded. "I'm fine," she reiterated. "We can go after the announcements."

"She said you were stubborn," he sighed and motioned to the car. "Fine."

"Can I call Laura?" She asked as they got in the car. He nodded and handed her his phone. She dialed her number as they drove off.

"Dana? What is it? What's wrong?" Laura rushed out.

"Baby, it's me, I'm fine," Carmilla rushed to assure her.

"Carm?"

"The plan was sabotaged," she informed her. "Blew up... wait a second," she said and wedged the phone on her shoulder as she went through her bag and found a cell phone she didn't recognize. She looked to Dana and handed it to him. "Get that to the cops, I think it's what set off the plane," he nodded. "Laura?"

"Yeah?" she replied weakly.

"I'm okay, shaken up, but okay," Carmilla cooed. "I told the pilot to find us a new plane," she sighed. "Tell Frank to be more careful with hiring mechanics?"

"What?"

"He's in custody," she explained. "Apparently, Deanna told him to come to Vegas and disarm it but I just found a cell phone in my bag that probably set it off."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Laura asked.

"I'm fine," she looked at Dana. "Dana is insisting I get checked out after the fight." She looked at her hand and noticed her knuckles bleeding. "I might have cut up my hand knocking someone's teeth out."

"And your knees are scraped up," Dana pointed out.

"And my knees got a little scraped up when I hit the ground," she amended. "I'll see medical when we get to the gym and go to the hospital later, okay?"

"Don't let this get to you Kitten," Laura said gently.

"You kidding?" she laughed. "I'm so mad right now my next opponent doesn't stand a chance." She inhaled sharply. "Look, Laura, she's getting desperate, be careful, all of you, okay?"

"She's under house arrest and being monitored twenty-four seven," Laura informed her.

"And yet someone made a call," Carmilla sighed.

"Knowing Deanna it was already in place the second..."

"No," she interrupted. "Will, did he say he was going to kill me when I came home or when I was home?"

"When you..." Laura gasped. "Deanna must have found out, tried to cover his tracks." She heard her take a deep breath. "I love you baby, but I've got some calls to make."

"I know," she sighed. "I love you too, be careful."

"Kick ass sweetie," Laura said and then hung up. She sighed and handed Dana back his phone.

"You okay?" he asked carefully.

"Shaken, yes," she replied evenly and shook her head. "It's not the first time she's tried to kill me." She sighed and met his eyes. "What worries me is not knowing how long my plane has been rigged to blow. How many innocent people could have died at any time." She shook her head. "Someone on this end must have made the call," she theorized. "They made sure we were clear before they made they call."

"There was at least fifty emergency personnel out there," he reasoned. "It could have been anyone."

"You'll tell the police when you give them the phone?"

"They might have some questions for you," he said thoughtfully.

"I don't have any more answers than my flight crew would have," she countered. "And we have the guy who planted it," she shrugged. "I doubt there's anything I could tell them."

"Fair enough," he conceded as they pulled up to the gym. "Get cleaned up."

"Sure," she sighed. "Do you mind if I hit the treadmill?"

"As long as medical clears you," he offered.

"Thanks," she said as they entered the gym. "For letting me talk to Laura."

"Whatever you need, kid," he replied with a squeeze of her shoulder.

"Why, though?" she blurted.

"Cause you've got more talent in your little finger than a few of the fighters in here put together," he confided. "I didn't say this, but you can win this thing if you want it." He smiled. "I'd hate to see that woman ruin it for you."

"That's just it," she laughed. "She fucked up by not killing me," she laughed at his surprise. "I used to fight on anger all the time. Since Laura has been training me I've learned I've got more than that." She shook her head. "If I can learn to use both?"

"I almost feel sorry for JoJo," he joked and checked the time. "You've got about forty-five minutes before everyone gets here." He regarded her a moment. "But I still want you to get checked out at the hospital after the announcement, got it?"

"Yes, boss," she answered to his smile. "How much can I tell people about what happened?"

"That's up to you but nothing about what else is happening in the real world," he advised her.

"I didn't have time for the rest of the world," she replied seriously. "I'll probably tell them all about why I went back but only Bec and Angela about the plane."

"Sounds like a plan," he smiled and squeezed her shoulder again. "You were supposed to fight Wednesday but we'll move you to Friday, just in case."

"Thanks," she smiled and hugged him briefly. "For everything."

"Go on, get cleaned up," he urged and pushed towards medical.

She sighed and made her way inside. The medic motioned her towards one of the beds. She hopped up and inspected her knees; they weren't too bad but might start bleeding again during her fight.

"You'll be fine by Friday," the nurse assured her as she hissed from her cleaning the wounds.

Once she'd taken care of the cuts on her knuckles she ran her through some tests, checking for a concussion.

"Am I okay to go for a run?" she asked as the nurse finished up.

"Yes, but you'll want to take it easy for the next few days."

"Thanks."

"Come see me tomorrow and I'll change those for you."

"I'm a First Aid Attendant," Carmilla countered. "Just put together what I'll need and I'll do it myself."

"Fine but I want you to come by so I can check them every day," she conceded.

"I'll grab that stuff on my way out," Carmilla replied with a nod and made her way into the gym and over to her locker to change into her running shoes.

She stretched on her way to one of the treadmills, starting at a slow jog once she was on it. "She should have killed me," she thought and shook her head; if Laura was right, it was already over. This, this was retaliation for Will's death. Well, it wasn't going to work. She wasn't scared anymore, she was angry. No, she was downright pissed off. Seeing Deanna go to jail might not be enough. She smiled. "We're going to destroy you."


	11. No Point

Now

(Two Weeks to Go)

It took Carmilla a few minutes to settle into a comfortable pace, her mind, however, was going a mile a minute. It didn't make sense. While the sabotage and taking out the one person who could prove anything in one go definitely had Deanna written all over it, the timing didn't make sense. She, and everyone on the plane, should be dead. "Unless," she thought and shook her head. "No," she thought, it didn't make sense. Maybe Will had found out about it, perhaps even suggested it when she took ownership of the jet and then planned to use it to his own advantage? Was the plan already in place? Did someone not know he was dead and followed through anyway? There had to be a third person. This 'mechanic', Julian, was lying about something. The question was what? It was obvious, however, that he had no idea he was meant to be a casualty. She couldn't help but consider that Will had used Deanna's name to get what he wanted and that somewhere, out there, someone was fool enough to go along with his plan.

She'd just upped the speed on the treadmill and moved on to who was helping Will when her attention was drawn to the main doors of the gym as they opened. She smiled, expecting her cast mates, but it faded it quickly when Dana walked in with two police officers behind him.

"Fuck," she thought and hit the stop button.

Carmilla shook her head as she stepped off the treadmill; well, maybe she'd get some answers. She walked over to her locker, grabbed a towel and her backpack and met up with them where they waited for her.

"Miss Karnstein, if you don't mind, we have a few questions for you," the taller and older of the two men, asked.

"Can we, I don't know, bring Laura in on a call?" she asked as she looked at Dana.

"Miss Hollis?" the same cop asked before Dana could reply. "Your," he looked at his notebook, "lawyer?"

"Lawyer?" she asked despite herself. "Um, sure?"

"My apologies," he offered, "I meant to say, your lawyer's assistant."

"I think we can arrange a Skype call," Dana said thoughtfully as he took his phone out, presumably to text Laura. "Alright, you can use my office," he added and motioned them out.

As they walked down to his office Carmilla wondered what questions the police could have for her that her crew couldn't answer. Carmilla took a seat in one of the armchairs while the officers sat across from her on the couch. They waited as Dana brought Laura up on Skype.

"Hello, officers, I was under the impression you wouldn't be asking my client any questions?" Laura greeted formerly.

"We only have a few," the older officer clarified and looked at Carmilla as he took the cell phone she'd found in her backpack out of his bag. He handed her the phone in its evidence bag and asked; "Did you see this before today?"

"No, I didn't know it was there until it rang," she replied and handed it back. "I don't remember the last time I emptied my bag," she shrugged, "I have no idea what's in it now." She laughed as the officers shared a look. "Oh c'mon, we all have a bag we take everywhere with us, stuff keeps getting added to it until you have no clue what you're carrying. I only grabbed it on the way out of my house out of habit."

"Fair enough," the younger man answered. "Is that the backpack?" he asked as he pointed at it. She nodded. "Would you mind emptying it for us?"

She shrugged and put her bag on the table. There was the clothes she'd changed out of on the flight home, a book she'd been reading on and off for the last year, and the last thing, which was a surprise, an insulated lunch bag. She smiled and opened it to find an apple, banana, a half frozen bottle of juice, a sandwich and a note which read; "Laura isn't the only one who needs to eat. Love, D." She got to the bottom of the bag and tipped it upside down to prove it was empty. "Damn," she muttered, "I should have grabbed my Tequila." She went through the front pockets; the one she'd found the phone in was empty, so was the second, but in the third she found Laura's Oxy. "That's odd," she continued as she looked at the bottle and then showed it to Laura. "I have no idea why that's in here or why anyone would bother trying to set me up for drug use when I get tested almost every month." She shook her head and put it in an evidence bag the younger officer had waiting for her. "Have you traced the call?"

"It came from a Vancouver number," Laura provided. "We're still tracing it."

"I don't think it was Deanna, or even anyone working for her," Carmilla said to Laura.

"What are you thinking?" Laura asked.

"One of two possibilities," she started and sat back in her chair. "There's definitely someone else involved, I mean, someone had to have helped with his escape on Monday," she reasoned to Laura's nod. "I think that either the plan was already in place and this third person decided to let it go through anyway and decided to blow the plane once we were clear as a warning to the mechanic to keep quiet and to set up Deanna for it."

"Or," Laura started, "someone mistimed the call," she countered. "Julian was able to reattach the emergency tank which allowed the pilot to control the landing and land a little sooner." She smiled. "And I doubt they expected you to run as fast as you did."

"Your pilot and bodyguard barely made it to the safe zone," the younger officer supplied.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want that little bastard getting away," Carmilla commented.

"Speaking of which, your bodyguard, Miss MacKenzie, mentioned that you know him?" the older officer asked.

"Not know him, no," Carmilla corrected. "I went to Montreal last Christmas to visit my brother, I saw him talking to him at a party."

"And you made the leap that he had sabotaged the plane?" the younger officer asked skeptically.

"Aside from his body language when he came back from the engine room?" she asked sarcastically. "There are few coincidences in my life, Officer," she shrugged. "I could see he was scared, I questioned him and he admitted it." She studied them a moment as she considered her question. "Have you questioned him yet?"

"He said that Will contacted him on Monday and told him it was time to blow the plane, preferably on your way back from Vegas but he'd let him know when. He received another call on Wednesday morning, this time from a woman, telling him to disable it. He didn't have time while you were in Vancouver so he planned to do it once you got back to Vegas," the older officer provided.

"Maybe Will's accomplice had a change of heart?" Laura offered.

"Or they only just found out about it," Carmilla countered thoughtfully. "Did Julian mention ever meeting Deanna?" The older officer shook his head. "Do you have any more questions for me?" The officers glanced at each other.

"No, I think that about covers it," the older officer replied.

"Well you know where to find me if you do," she joked and stood to shake their hands before they left. She looked at Dana; "Can I have a few minutes with Laura?" she asked hopefully.

"You can have five," he supplied as he left.

She sat back down and pulled the laptop to face her.

"So, you're my lawyer, huh?" she asked.

"Not, um, not yet," Laura stammered. "I'll be licensed in September."

"Seriously?" Carmilla blurted.

"I have two degrees; Psychology and Criminology," she admitted. "Frank's a great lawyer, he knows the law better than anyone, but he's not a trial lawyer."

"Wouldn't your mother's death be considered a conflict of interest?"

"Yes," Laura sighed, "and that's why Betty is getting her license as well." She shook her head and looked down. "I'm sorry, Carm, I can't…"

"Explain right now?" Carmilla finished for her. "Laura?" she prompted and waited for her to look up. "I get it, baby, I do."

"You do?"

"Every answer you give me only leads to more questions," she offered and smiled. "Can I ask just one more though?" Laura nodded hesitantly. "How long have you been managing my career?"

"Since you starting taking it seriously," Laura replied.

"So, first through Bob and then through Perry?" Carmilla pushed.

"Please don't be angry with them or me?"

"Angry?" Carmilla chuckled. "Are you the reason I got on the show?"

"I got you the chance but you earned your spot."

"How long?" Carmilla asked and then, at her bemused look, clarified. "When did you know I was on the show?"

"Just before Bob's death."

"So I didn't get your spot when you broke your arm?"

"No," she shook her head, "someone else did. Your two fights were only to justify your spot," she looked down again.

"Laura?" she prompted again and waited for her to meet her eyes. "Thank you."

"You're not upset?"

"Am I confused you didn't tell me?" she shrugged. "Maybe," she smiled. "But how can I be anything but grateful?" She shook her head. "I love you, Laura," she smiled again. "Whatever it is you're still not telling me, I don't know that there's anything that can change that."

She jumped at a knock on the door. Dana poked his head in the door; "Wrap it up."

Carmilla nodded and looked back at Laura.

"Kitten?"

"Yeah, Pup?"

"Do me a favor?" Carmilla nodded. "Put this all on hold until you get home?"

"I'll try."

"Baby, please, trust me just a little longer?" she almost pleaded. "Trust that we've got this?"

Carmilla regarded her for a moment before she answered; "Can you stop worrying about how I'll react when you tell me everything?"

"I'll try," she replied with a crooked smile.

"Everything you've told me so far?" Carmilla smiled. "I didn't have any clue."

"You figured out the fighting part," Laura countered weakly.

"True," she accepted. "But my point is, have I reacted badly to any of it?"

"No."

"No," she affirmed. "And you know why?" Laura shook her head. "Because I love you, everything else is just details. Details we can figure out together, okay?" Laura smiled and nodded. "Now promise me you'll be careful and that you'll take care of yourself?"

"I will if you will."

Dana knocked on the door again.

"I'm sorry, Pup, I gotta go," she blew her a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too baby," Laura said after mimicking her actions. "Kick ass, Kitten."

"You too," she laughed and then closed the Skype window with a sigh. She ducked her head and rubbed her face with her hands. So distracted was she that she didn't notice Dana return until he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

"Would you believe me if I said 'yes'?" she joked and met his eyes.

"Given what you've been through the last few days?" he laughed and sat down from across from her. "Probably not."

"This is nothing," she laughed and took the apple from her lunch bag. She took a bite and shook her head. "What you don't understand," she started once she swallowed; "is that my life has been in danger since I was three." She shook her head again. "What bothers me is the same thing that bothered me about my Jeep."

"Your Jeep?"

"It was rigged to explode at the touch of a button or a fender bender and I don't know how long I was driving it around like that or how many people could have died because of it. Innocent people. People who have nothing to do this." She sighed and fought back tears. "People like Danny and my friend's unborn baby." She shrugged and took another bite of her apple. "I have no idea how long my plane has been sabotaged." She shook her head. "She could have killed me, or people I care about, anytime. That," she clenched her jaw, " _that_ is what really bothers me."

"The fight starts in about twenty minutes," he said as he looked at his watch, clearly not knowing what else to say. "Can I get you anything?"

"Maybe a few minutes to gather myself," she rubbed her eyes, suddenly realizing just how tired she was; "and maybe an iced coffee?"

"How do you take it?"

"Three cream, one sugar and a couple pumps of vanilla syrup if you have it."

"I'll order out," he replied and squeezed her shoulder once he'd stood. "You can stay here until after the fight if you'd prefer?"

"No," she smiled, "I need to get out of my own head for a bit."

"Alright," he smiled. "I'll need to take your book, though."

"Dana?" she said as she handed it to him. "Thanks, for everything."

"No thanks needed, kid," he smiled. "Just don't tell anyone," he winked.

"Deal," she laughed.

Carmilla bit into her apple again and considered what she'd just found out. None of it made any sense. Or more specifically, the plane didn't make sense, because, if she thought about it, even though she never imagined any of what Laura had already told her, she wasn't surprised. She'd figured Perry had taken over where Bob had left off, using his contacts to get her fights, but she'd always wondered how Bob had done it in the first place. It also meant two things; Bob knew Laura and trusted her and two; Laura had been helping her for at least the last year and a half. The question, as always, was 'why'? If she really only just found out the truth behind her mother's death, what was her motivation? It made no sense.

She finished her apple and looked for a garbage can before going to join her teammates. There was no point, she reasoned. Without the one person here who could answer her questions thinking them up would only succeed in distracting her. She hadn't seen any of what Laura had confided thus far coming. She laughed. Well, the coaching, her managing her career in secret, and her Martial Arts knowledge hadn't really come as a surprise. She had to trust, though, that even if she didn't know everything about her, she still knew her. She shook her head and chuckled. It was ironic, really, she'd gotten to know Laura without knowing anything about her while Laura knew everything about her but didn't know her very well. It bothered her that Laura was so convinced she'd turn her back on her once she found out the truth. That Laura believed it would be that easy to walk away from the best thing that had ever happened to her.

Carmilla stopped outside the locker room and leaned against the wall as sadness threatened to overwhelm her.

"Pull it together, Karnstein," she reprimanded herself as she rubbed her face. "Forget about it, all of it," she reminded herself as she pushed the door to the locker room open. "Hey guys," she greeted only to be engulfed by her teammates in a group hug. "Okay, okay," she laughed, "back off!"

"Hey you," Bec said affectionately and pulled her into a hug. She stepped back and studied her a moment. "You okay?"

"I am and I'm tired of everyone asking me that," she smiled. "Besides, you've got bigger," she laughed; "or rather, smaller," she joked, poking fun at Tecia's size; "things to worry about."

"Right," Bec smiled.

"We'll talk afterward, okay?" Carmilla offered and hugged her quickly. "You can do this, okay?" Bec nodded as she stepped back. "Believe you can and you will."

"You make it sound so simple," Bec teased.

"People forget the mental aspect of fighting," she reasoned. "It's something I've only just learned myself. Stick to your game plan and don't let her bait you, got it?"

"Got it."

"Everyone out!" someone announced from the door.

"Good luck," she encouraged and followed the others out, Angela falling in step beside her as they made their way to the bleachers.

"Carmilla?" someone called and she turned to find one of the PA's walking towards her with her iced Starbuck's coffee.

"Thanks," she said as she took it and then made her way to the spot Angela was saving besides her.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" Angela asked in an undertone.

"Yes," she replied and sipped her coffee, "but not right now." At the disappointed look on Angela's face, she clarified; "I'd rather not have to talk about it more than once."

"That bad?" Carmilla nodded. "That have anything to do with your hand and knees?"

"Yes and no," she deflected. "Later, okay?" Angela nodded. "Let's cheer on our friend, yeah?" Angela smiled and nodded again. They looked to the door as Tecia entered, several of her teammates booing her until Carmilla shushed them. Tecia was one of those few fighters who actually fought better angry and she didn't think it would help Bec. She cheered along with everyone else as Bec entered and then lost herself in the fight.

Bec, unfortunately, did not fight better angry and let Tecia pull her into her game, picking her apart while most of Bec's punches missed their mark. Tecia had something to prove and prove it she did. By the end of the first round, it was already not looking good. By the middle of the second round, she started to wonder if things would have turned out differently had she stayed and been able to train with Bec. Then again, how much use would she have been if she hadn't gone home? In the end, she had to do what was best for her game, and going home, however briefly and confusing as it was, was the right call. Even despite her plane as that would only fuel her anger.

Her teammates again started to boo at the unanimous decision, but between the look Joanne was giving them, and Carmilla's hushing, they quieted down fairly quick. Once Bec and Tecia had left the gym, one of the PAs informed them they would be announcing the quarter-finals in about twenty minutes. Carmilla followed her teammates back to the locker room to commiserate with Bec but her coach stopped her just as she was about to enter.

"You and Bec need to go to the hospital after the announcements," Gilbert advised her.

"I'm fine!" Bec called.

"Sorry, Bec, standard procedure."

She went over to give Bec a hug; "He probably just wants you to keep me company," she whispered.

"Why do you have to go?" Bec asked in an undertone.

"I'll explain on the way," she offered as she leaned back. "You looked good out there."

"Liar," Bec joked.

"You'd have looked better if you'd followed my advice," she shrugged. "Sorry, I wasn't around to help."

"You had bigger things to deal with, it's fine."

Before they knew it they were being called back into the gym for the fight announcements. They lined up in their teams facing the coaches and Dana, some of them fidgeting while they waited.

"Quater-finals start next Wednesday with the first two fights and the last on Friday," Dana announced and then looked at his clipboard. "First up we have number six seed, Felice Herrig versus number fourteen seed, Randa Markos." As they watched the to face-off, Carmilla couldn't help but wonder how Randa had become such an outcast on her own team. She couldn't help but think before she'd met Laura, that she could have easily been Randa. It was in her nature, after all, to push people away by being a sarcastic asshole, or it was before she met Laura. "Next up we have number five seed, Aisling Daly versus number four seed, Jessica Penne." The two faced off quickly, shook hands and returned to their team. "Weigh-ins as usual." Dana informed them before continuing; "First up on Friday will be number one seed, Carla Esparza versus number three seed, Tecia Torres." Carmilla was a little disappointed as she'd hoped to see that fight, she had a feeling she'd have to fight one of them eventually. She didn't have much time to consider it though as it was her turn to be called. "Last up, we have number two seed, Joanne Calderwood versus number seven seed, Carmilla Karnstein."

She faced Joanne in front of the coaches, purposely positioning herself so that her bandaged right hand was away from the cameras. She assumed a fighting stance, her opponent doing the same, and met her eyes. Unlike Alex, there was no fear there, only determination and then, as her eyes drifted to Carmilla's neck, anger. She had two options as Joanne inched closer; back down and laugh it off or stand up to her. Well, even though Joanne was not the source of her ire, she had plenty to go around. She clenched her jaw and inched closer, their faces only a few inches apart.

Carmilla felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to meet her coach's eyes. She let go the breath she didn't realize she was holding and turned back to Joanne with her hand out to shake it. Joanne regarded her a moment before shaking it briefly.

She looked to Dana; "Can I say something before everyone heads out?"

He nodded and then added in an undertone; "On or off camera?"

"Up to you," she shrugged; "On and then decide later whether to use it or not?" He nodded again. She turned to face her fellow castmates. "If I can have your attention for just a few minutes?"

"What? You want to do dinner again?" Felice asked sarcastically.

Carmilla silenced her with a glare.

"I'm guessing they're have been some rumors going around about where I've been, and why," she waited while several of them exchanged glances. "On Wednesday night," she took a deep breath, "my good friend, Danny, was murdered by my little brother." Their collective looks of shock almost made her laugh. "My little brother, Will, was then, in turn, killed by my girlfriend in self-defense." This time, whispers could be heard. "Today, shortly after I landed, my plane blew up," she looked for Joanne and added as she held her bandaged hand up; "My apologies if I bleed on you." There was a smattering of nervous laughter. "I'm not telling you guys this to gain your sympathy or pity. It is what it is, but if you could, I'd appreciate some space for a few days," she smiled. "Or as much you can give me in the house." Again there was some laughter. "Thanks, guys," she ended and went back to spot in her line.

Dana sent them on their way and as she made her way out she was stopped by a hand on her arm.

"Carmilla?" Joanne said in her soft Scottish lilt. "I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

"You thought I was getting special treatment?" she answered quietly. "That I just needed a few days off?" she added tersely. Joanne again glanced at her neck. She sighed. "Look," she reached up and rubbed the mark she knew was there, "I know this looks bad, but Laura," she shook her head, "she really cared about Danny and everything…"

"It's okay," Joanne smiled. "I get it, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks," she rubbed the back of her neck, "I just want to forget about it for the next two weeks," she admitted. "Good luck next week," she offered her hand again.

"You too," Joanne replied with a smile as she shook it, leaving as Bec approached.

"Everything okay?" she questioned.

"Yeah, we should go," Carmilla said motioning towards the door, "you know if we want to get home before midnight." Bec followed her out to the SUV, her regular driver waiting for them patiently. "You've been driving us for four weeks and I don't even know your name," she said to him when they were close enough.

"Ethan, Miss, Ethan Rayne," he replied.

"Well Ethan," she said with a smile, "what are the chances of us grabbing something to eat on the way to the hospital?"

"What were you thinking?" he questioned.

"Nothing fancy," she shrugged, "maybe McDonalds or something?"

"Let me make a call," he opened the door for them, "but I think it'll be okay."

She and Bec got into the back of the SUV and watched as Ethan made his way around the front of the car while on his phone.

"McDonalds? Really?" Bec joked as she did up her seat belt.

"What?" Carmilla laughed. "Stress hits me in my stomach but no matter how shitty I feel, I can always eat McDonalds." She shrugged. "Call it a weird sort of comfort food."

"Fair enough," Bec chuckled. "It's not like I have to make weight again anytime soon." Bec eyed her a moment as Ethan started the car. "Aren't you worried though?"

"No," she laughed, "I have trouble making one fifteen but from the other side."

"How much did you weigh for your fight with…" Bec paused, regret all over her face. "I mean when you fought at one twenty-five?"

"Maybe one-seventeen," she replied tonelessly as Ethan pulled them out into traffic.

"You okay?"

"No," she admitted.

"Want to talk about it?" Bec prodded as she placed a hand on her knee.

"I don't know," she sighed. "I mean, there's not much more to tell than what I already told everyone." She considered a moment. "Danny and one of my bodyguards, Betty, went to Danny's place in Burnaby. Will was waiting for them. Knocked out Betty and attacked Danny." She shook her head. "Laura went in alone," she frowned. "She thought it would be better for some reason." She sighed. "Anyway, she went in, he and Danny struggled for a knife and she ended up with it in her stomach." She smiled which seemed to surprise Bec. "Laura got lucky, my brother had my gun."

"How is that a good thing?"

"I had it customized," she smiled. "First round was a blank and then the gun jams."

"So Laura had a gun?"

"Yeah, my friend Rick pulled some strings so she could get a license to carry," she explained and frowned again; Rick knew too. He knew what Laura was hiding. She sighed again. "It's so much more than that." She looked out the window as the car slowed as they pulled into a McDonalds. "We don't have any cash," Carmilla pointed out as they joined the line-up for the drive-thru.

"Don't worry about it," Ethan answered. "What do you want?"

"Quarter Pounder, medium fries, and a small vanilla milkshake," replied Carmilla.

"The same but with a large chocolate shake," Bec added.

Ethan placed their order, paid and then pulled ahead to pick it up. As they waited in line Ethan handed Carmilla a heavy brown paper bag. "It's from Dana," he supplied. "Thought maybe it would cheer you up, only…"

"Don't tell anyone where I got it?" she joked but sobered immediately when she saw the bag's contents; a brand new bottle of Patron Gold Tequila. "I'll say I brought it from home," she offered quietly. "I mentioned forgetting to grab my bottle from the plane," she explained as she showed Bec the bottle. And then it hit her; it wasn't the Tequila itself she wished she saved, no, it was the bottle and the memories of who she'd shared it with that mattered.

"Carm?" Bec prodded gently.

"I was just thinking," she said as she took the bottle from its box, "it's not the alcohol I'm sorry I didn't save," she smiled as she ran her thumb over the ridges of the bottle. "Maybe I'm being sentimental but I shared that bottle with some pretty special people." She paused as Ethan passed them their food and then arranged it on her lap so she could eat.

"Like?" Bec asked.

"Well Shannon Knapp and Rose, for starters," she supplied. "But mostly Danny," she stared at her burger a moment before taking a bite. "And don't even get me started on Laura," she joked.

"Is she okay?"

"She will be," she tried to swallow her food along with the lump in her throat. "Turns out I hardly know her, but," she sighed, "I still love her and I wish I didn't have to leave her with everything going on." She took a sip of her shake. "I don't know Bec," she turned to her. "I don't know anything, not how to feel, what to think," she took a rather aggressive bite of her hamburger. "Not to mention this whole plane thing." She swallowed. "I mean, yeah, I'm pissed off about my plane, but Laura? All she isn't telling me?" She shook her head. "I'm more confused than anything." She looked at Bec. "Turns out she's been managing my career without me knowing it for at least a year and a half, maybe longer. And oh, get this!" she laughed as they pulled up to a private medical clinic. "We sparred a bit, yesterday, and she had me on my ass and in an armbar before I could even react." She rubbed her face. "She was on the show," she thought. "She's fought professionally."

"Carm?"

"Sorry," she sighed, "just a lot on my mind."

"No, it's okay," Bec smiled and rooted through her gym bag a moment before handing her her journal in a zip locked bag. "I didn't want it to get smelly from my bag but I didn't want to leave it at the house either."

"Thanks," she took it out of the bag and traced the Celtic knot on its front. She started as Ethan opened her door for her and then the two made their way into the clinic. Each was directed to their own exam rooms to wait for the doctor. She slipped her journal into her backpack and then started taking off her bandages. "Damn," she sighed. Closer inspection of the cut on her knuckles revealed she'd probably need a couple of stitches.

"Good evening, Miss Karnstein," the doctor greeted as he entered and then walked over to look at her hand. "That's going to need a couple of stitches if you don't want it to bleed all over your opponent."

"Damn I hate being right," she sighed as he checked her knees.

"These should heal up just fine," he assured her and then took her right hand and began prodding it. "Does this hurt?" She shook her head. "Good," he smiled, "looks like we can skip the x-rays."

"Wouldn't that be considered standard procedure though?"

"And if we find a hairline fracture that you'd normally fight through?" he countered with a smirk as he checked her wrist. "No pain?" She shook her head. "If you're really that concerned have it x-rayed when you get home but it looks like the cut is the worst of it. Now," he said as he took a penlight from his pocket to check her pupils, "any dizziness?" She shook her head. "Headache?"

"A bit," she shrugged, "but it's probably just stress."

"No nausea?" She shook her head. "How's your vision?"

"Fine."

"Good," he smiled and went to get what he needed to stitch her up. He placed her hand over a stainless steel bowl and cleaned her wound. "Now this might hurt a bit," he advised her as he stuck a needle near the wound to freeze it. "Was it worth it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"However you got this cut, was it worth it?"

"It was," she smiled. "It's funny, a few months ago," she shook her head. "I wouldn't have been able to stop. I'd have beat him into a coma."

"So what changed?" he asked conversationally.

"I fell in love," she replied to his surprise. "My girlfriend, Laura, she's helped me to learn to be more than just my rage." She chuckled. "She's taught me so much and I didn't even realize it."

He gave her two stitches and then bandaged her hand.

"Now," he started as he began cleaning and then rebandaging her knees, "you'll want to try to use your hand as little as possible for the next couple of days, give the stitches a chance to heal as much as possible. Have medical take them out on Thursday, better than them getting pulled out during the fight." He finished up the bandages on her knees when the alarm on her watch went off. "Got somewhere to be?" he joked.

"I'm supposed to outside, looking at the moon, smoking a cigarette and talking, or rather, writing to my girlfriend," she replied and sighed. "Medical was supposed to put together a care package so I could change the bandages myself but I forgot to grab it on my way out."

"I can do that for you," he replied and started taking things out of the cabinet. "You'll want to keep those stitches dry so I'll throw in some latex gloves to make it easier to shower. And you'll want to keep these cuts covered until they heal." He smiled. "I don't think I need to tell you how dirty gyms can be."

"I'm a level three first attendant back home," she informed him, "I know the signs of infection."

"Okay then," he replied. "Take it easy for a couple of days. I'm going to check on your teammate."

"Thanks, Doc," she replied. "If it's okay, I'm going to wait outside." He nodded as she jumped down off the table. She grabbed her bag, went outside and saw Ethan standing by the car. "You wouldn't happen to have a smoke, would you?" He shook his head. "Okay if I sit on the front of the SUV until we leave?" He nodded. She climbed up on the front of the car and turned to him again. "Got a pen?"

"That I think I do have," he replied and searched the car a moment before returning to her one.

"Thanks," she replied and took her journal from her bag. She started again when her alarm went off. She looked up to the sky, located the moon and then looked back to to her journal. She flipped through until she found and a blank page and put pen to paper.

"Hey Pup," she wrote, "I already miss you even though we talked just a few hours ago. The more I think about it, the more confused I get. You've been helping me for years and I don't know why. I don't know why you felt you had to hide it from me, whatever it is you're hiding, or why you're so convinced I'll leave when I find out. I love you, baby, so much. I don't know how you think I could ever leave you when I feel so lost without you. My chest hurts I miss you so much. We will figure it out, I promise. Yes, I'm angry, hurt and confused but none of that could ever compare to how much I love you. Ever." She smiled and wiped away a tear. "Just two more weeks, right Pup? Two more weeks and we'll never be apart again."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, just a couple of notes. So no, "Then' section of this chapter as the 'Now' went on longer than expected and Laura did make a cameo. The format should resume in the next chapter. Also, I just received some really crappy news so, though I will try, I can't promise a chapter in two weeks but I'll do my best. Hope you enjoyed and if you did leave a comment! I could use the cheering up!


	12. Deals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, folks, sorry for the delay. I only had one day off last week. Hope you enjoy the chapter and if you do, please leave a comment, they make my day!

 

Then

(Six Weeks Ago)

Laura woke and sighed when she realized what had woken her; her phone's alarm. It was, very likely, the only thing she wouldn't miss when Carmilla left for the Ultimate Fighter; the early morning calls and meetings. She quickly shut off her alarm when her phone vibrated again and then checked to make sure she hadn't woken her girlfriend.

"I swear," she thought, "she could sleep through an earthquake." She leaned down to kiss Carmilla's shoulder; she was so proud of her. Not only had she risen to the challenge of a tougher opponent and a bigger stage, she'd been on her way to a decision victory before they'd knocked each other out. She checked the time, kissed her shoulder again, and then rolled out of bed; she had all of twenty minutes to wake up and make herself presentable for Dana White.

She made her way into the bathroom, used the facilities and then freshened up before she slipped on her clothes that she'd left in the bathroom the night before. Laura checked on Carmilla as she made her way out to the living room, not surprised to find Danny contemplating a cup of coffee at the table.

"There's coffee," Danny informed her.

Laura went to make herself a cup and then turned to find Danny watching her intently. "What?" she prodded.

"So what do I tell her if she wakes up before you come back?" the redhead questioned tonelessly.

"That I didn't tell you where I went?"

"Seriously?" Danny scoffed.

"Better than lying," she shrugged and sighed at the look on Danny's face. "Tell her Dark and I went for something to eat."

"Fine."

"Danny…" she sighed.

"Just go," Danny interjected.

"Thanks?"

"Don't."

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you even know for what?" Danny questioned.

"For putting you in this position," Laura replied, "and for making you get up at this ungodly hour."

"It's a start," she nodded toward the door, "go."

Laura sipped her coffee as she made her way upstairs to Dana's suite, trying to clear the cobwebs from her thoughts. Maybe she should have stopped after the second glass of wine but Carmilla's good mood had rubbed off on her. She chuckled; it was nice seeing her relaxed and having fun for a change.

She took a deep breath and then knocked on Dana's door.

"Come in!" he called.

Laura was immediately taken aback as she entered; Dana wasn't alone.

"I'm sorry, Miss Hollis," he offered as he stood and proffered his hand to shake, "I should have warned you we would have company." He motioned to the two people she didn't recognize. "Beth Rayne," he said, indicating the woman; "and her brother Ethan." She shook both their hands and took the seat he indicated at the table. "Beth has been a producer on the show for a few years and her brother will serve as your girlfriend's driver and undercover protection." He smiled as he handed her the first of two folders. "We've completed the background checks you asked for," he nodded to the folder. "Everyone checks out."

Laura scanned the documents, no one setting off any alarms, while she worked up the nerve to asked Dana her next question.

"Have you considered my other request?"

"I have," he replied, his tone unreadable. "Before I agree to anything, I'd like to know exactly what you expect."

"Two words, every day, from each of them; 'She's okay'," she supplied. "On fight announcement days, either a 'Not yet' or a 'next'."

Dana regarded her a moment, tapping his chin with a finger.

"I have an offer to make you," he began as he slid the second folder over to her.

She opened the folder, her eyes growing big as she realized what she held.

"You can't be serious," she stuttered.

"She got your spot when you broke your arm," he advised her. "She's promised to not say anything to Carmilla so long as you agree to a rematch." He smiled. "And provided she doesn't make the finals."

"Is there much chance of that?" she sighed.

"If she wins her first fight it will be one hell of an upset," he provided. "You did say you were going to tell Carmilla everything when she gets back home."

"Yeah but this doesn't give me much of a choice," she pointed out.

"Will you do it?"

"So long as my doctor clears me," she offered. "I'm seeing him tomorrow so I should have a better idea then."

"Fair enough."

"Why would you agree to this?" she asked, indicating the contract.

"I was disappointed when you broke your arm, Laura," he confided; "You've got potential and I think you owe it to yourself to see what you're really capable of."

"Thanks?"

"You're welcome," he smiled. "And, if she wants it, and is up to it, your friend Danny is invited to fight on the finale too, at one thirty-five."

"I'll let her know," Laura replied with a smile.

"Can I ask, Miss Hollis, why is this so important to you? To have daily updates I mean?" Beth asked.

"For the same reason I asked to have Carm's shit list added to her contract; peace of mind," Laura confided. "The minute I get back to Vancouver, when the show starts filming, the shit is going to hit the fan." She shook her head. "I will be at the very center of it and the last thing I need is to be worrying about my girlfriend." She looked to Ethan. "She'll be safe enough in the house and the gym, but she'll be vulnerable between the two; you up to the challenge?"

"I assure you, Miss Hollis, nothing will happen to your girlfriend under my care," he replied firmly.

"Thank you," she smiled and looked back at Dana. "If there's nothing else, Mr. White, I'd like to get back before she wakes up."

"Just send back the contract when you decide," he said as he stood and walked her to the door. "Good luck, with everything in Vancouver, I mean," he said as he shook her hand.

"Thanks, and um, thanks for what you're doing for Carm," she smiled as he opened the door for her. "It means a lot to me to know she'll be taken care of."

"I did some research when Joe got back from Vancouver," he supplied to her surprise. "This woman, Deanna, she's a piece of work." He smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'll do what I can to help."

"Thanks," she said again before leaving.

She finished her coffee on the way back to her suite and entered to find Danny asleep, her head on the table. Laura walked over and moved her hair from her face and bent down to kiss her temple when Danny woke, jerked her head up and into her chin.

"Fuck, ow," Laura hissed, she'd bit her tongue. She walked over to the sink, filled a glass with warm water and rinsed out her mouth.

"You okay?" Danny asked quietly as she walked over and placed a hand on the small of her back. Laura nodded. "Want to tell me what the fuck that was?"

"Habit?"

"We weren't together long enough to have 'habits'," Danny countered and walked away.

"I have some news, good news, for you," Laura said and glanced at Danny's face. "You've got a fight on the finale if you want it, at Bantamweight."

"Seriously?" she blurted.

"It was Dana's idea," she said and walked over to the table where she'd left the folders Dana had given her. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked as she picked them up. "Keep these for me until we get back to Vancouver?"

"What are they?"

"Background checks on all the Ultimate Fighter crew," Laura smiled. "And a fight contract," she sighed.

"Mine?" Danny asked as she opened each of the folders the shock clear on her face as she read the names on Laura's contract. "You?"

"I've had one professional fight," she confided as she sat at the table. "Last summer. Montreal." Danny sat down beside her. "Won a thirty, twenty-five, majority decision." She nodded to the contract. "She got my spot in the house when I broke my arm."

"Your idea?"

"God, no," Laura laughed. "But she's promised not to say anything to Carm so long as I agree to a rematch." She shook her head. "That is, so long as the Doc clears me."

"You trust her?"

"If she really wants her rematch she'll keep her mouth shut," Laura laughed as Danny stifled a yawn. "Speaking of which," Laura looked at her watch. "We got our tattoo appointment at ten, so I've got a couple of hours," she smiled. "Maybe we should both head back to bed?" Danny nodded. "But, um, before you go," she hesitated, she wasn't sure if she could ask this of Danny. "I need another favor."

"Laura…" she sighed.

"All I need is for you to call Carm 'El'," she cut her off.

"What? Why?"

"Dark tell you what we found on Will's laptop?" Danny nodded. "Well I want Carm to know about it but I can't just come out and tell her how long I've known or why."

"Why now, though?"

"Because she's seeing Will tomorrow and I want her to have an idea of who he really is before she does," Laura reasoned. "I've already talked to Dark, he and I will carry the conversation, all we need is an excuse to talk about it."

"And you think me calling her "El" will do it?" she countered dubiously.

"I don't think she's figured out why you calling her 'Elvira' bugs her so much," Laura shrugged. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, I can figure out something else."

"Or you could just tell her," Danny stated.

"Yes," Laura sighed, "and how do I explain why I installed Spyware on all the computers at the gym?"

"You did?" she scoffed.

"LaF walked me through it," Laura amended and stood. "I really should go back to bed." Danny stood and faced her. "Just think about it?" She nodded. "Danny?" she started as she placed a hand on her arm. "I'm happy you're back in my life."

"Why?" Danny replied as she shook her hand off and walked towards the door. "So you have one more pawn to help you cover your ass?"

"Danny, no!" She walked over to the redhead at the door. "You don't have to do anything if you don't want to." She looked down. "It's just nice to have someone around who knows a little more about me."

"So I don't know you?"

Laura met her eyes at her tone.

"Tip of the iceberg," she admitted sadly. "I'll explain more after Carm leaves. Trust me, it's easier this way."

"Whatever," Danny sighed.

"Danny, please…" she implored.

"No," she interrupted, "Laura, stop, okay? I said I'd help, I'll help." She shook her head. "But don't think I'm doing this for you." She nodded towards the bedroom. "I might not have always been Carmilla's biggest fan but at least she's always been honest with me." She sighed. "She loves you and I owe her one."

Laura didn't know what to say as she watched Danny leave; she'd wounded the redhead so deeply that she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to make amends. So what did she do instead? Used her. Manipulated her feelings to get her to help her. It wasn't fair. She should have never let things go as far as she had with Danny. Now, the only other woman she'd ever had feelings for, didn't trust her and could barely meet her eyes.

She gathered her and Danny's coffee cups, took them to the sink, washed them and put them away. Next, she poured out the rest of the coffee, rinsed it out the pot and set the coffee maker to make a new pot in a couple of hours. Laura snuck back into the bedroom and sighed in relief; not because Carmilla was still sound asleep, but because, the moment she looked at her, all her doubts subsided. She loved her more than anything, or anyone, in the world. As afraid as she was that she would lose her when she found out the truth, she took comfort in the fact that everything she'd done, she'd done out of love.

Laura smiled and made her way into the bathroom. She left her clothes where she'd found them, quickly used the toilet, washed her hands and was brushing her teeth when she heard the door open behind her.

"Hey," she greeted as she took her toothbrush from her mouth, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Why are you up so early?" Carmilla questioned as she sauntered over and kissed her neck.

"I'm not," Laura sighed as she gently pushed her away and turned back to the sink to finish brushing her teeth. "Just got up to pee and decided to get rid of the awful taste in my mouth." She sighed again softly as Carmilla pushed up against her back and kissed her neck. She spat out her toothpaste, rinsed her mouth out and turned to kiss her girlfriend only to be denied. "What?"

"You're not the only who woke up with cotton mouth," Carmilla joked and gave her a chaste peck on the lips. "Now go climb back into bed before I can't let you." She leaned in and kissed her neck. "I'll be right back."

Laura did as she was told and climbed back into bed. She'd always done everything she could to not outright lie to Carmilla, but all the little white lies were starting to add up. It had been much the same with Danny. She had never really lied to Danny but she also hadn't told her much about herself or her past either. To be fair, though, Danny hadn't confided what was going on with her parents. Maybe Danny had been too ashamed. She sighed. It didn't matter. She should never have gotten involved with Danny but she had because she was lonely. She rubbed her face as Carmilla returned; she'd find a way to make it up to Danny, somehow, she hoped.

Carmilla lay down on her left side, her right hand coming up to stroke her cheek as she kissed her softly. Laura reached up and cupped her cheek as they kissed, Carmilla breaking the kiss to turn and kiss her palm and then the inside of her wrist.

"Still sure about his whole tattoo thing?" she questioned.

"As sure as I am about us," Laura replied throatily; three nights of no sex while they shared a suite with the Xanders and one, albeit prolonged and passionate kiss had her all hot and bothered.

"That isn't an answer," Carmilla teased and kissed her softly.

"I'm yours as long as you want me."

"How does 'forever' sound?"

"Not nearly long enough," Laura replied sincerely.

"Good answer," Carmilla chuckled and kissed her softly. She looked at the clock and then back to her. "We've got a couple of hours," she started, her voice deep. "The Xanders are probably still out," she continued as she nipped at her neck. "Since it is our one-month anniversary, maybe we should start the day with a, um, bang?"

"Or," Laura countered as she reversed their positions, "we wait until we're home, in our bed," she kissed just below her ear and then continued in a whisper; "where we won't be interrupted," she pulled her earlobe between her teeth. "And we can be as loud as we want to be."

Carmilla rolled her to her back, kissed her tenderly and then leaned back to study her. "When did you know?" she asked causing Laura to swallow nervously, unsure of where she was going with this. "I mean, I knew I was falling for you when I kissed you at the airport but," she blushed, "I think I started falling for you the morning you moved in." She smiled. "It was the disappointed look on your face when you realized I hadn't sent Dark." She kissed her softly. "I just," she shook her head, "I never wanted to see you sad again."

Laura pulled her into a long kiss as she considered her answer.

"I think," she sighed, "I think, for me, it was one and the same."

"What do you mean?"

"I knew I was in trouble right away," she joked. "It was when you laughed at me," she provided. "I was pissed at you for laughing at me, but God, your laugh," she smiled, "I never wanted to stop hearing it."

"Is that why you knocked me on my ass? Because I was laughing at you?" Carmilla teased.

"Maybe I wanted you to take me seriously," Laura differed. "But I think I accepted that I was in love with you when you kissed me the first time." She pulled Carmilla's head to her shoulder. "We should go back to sleep for a bit," she suggested, causing Carmilla to look back up her with a pout. She chuckled softly. "Get your rest," she said, "you'll need it for tonight," she provided and kissed the pout from her lips. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

"I'm going to hold you to that," Carmilla warned and kissed her again before laying her head back on her shoulder.

"You'd better," Laura replied and kissed her forehead. She had so many doubts about what she was doing but her feelings for the girl in her arms wasn't one of them. True, if Carmilla never forgave her deceptions, she'd be devastated, but at least her motives were true. She loved her and she wanted to help her get the life she so deserved. Hopefully, that life would include her.

Laura was thinking back to the day she'd finally officially met Carmilla, smiling as she drifted off. If nothing else, she'd have a lifetime of happy memories to dull the ache of loss should the worst come to pass.

* * *

_Laura killed the engine of her Honda Shadow, took off her helmet and looked around; she'd been scoping the gym out for weeks, working up the nerve to finally meet the woman she'd been studying and help for years. She stepped off her bike and then shrugged out of her leather jacket before unzipping and removing her chaps. She took a second bag and a sweatshirt from her gym bag and then carefully folded her jacket and chaps and put them in the empty bag along with her helmet. Laura pulled on her sweatshirt and zipped it up before heading inside the small corner store, a bag on each shoulder._

_"Hey," she greeted as she entered; "thanks again for doing this for me."_

_"Not a problem," the young man behind the counter replied as he took her bag. "It's not every day someone offers me fifty bucks to watch their bike and hold onto their gear."_

_"I hope I won't get you into trouble?"_

_"No," he smiled, "I ran it past my boss and he's okay with it." He shrugged. "He knows he doesn't pay me as much as he should so he doesn't mind me picking up a few extra dollars so long as is it doesn't interfere with my work."_

_"I shouldn't be more than a few hours," she advised him as she checked the time. "If it goes well anyway," she admitted. "You've got my number if you need to reach me?" He nodded. "Okay." She smiled. "Wish me luck?"_

_"Good luck!"_

_Laura smiled, hitched her gym bag on her shoulder and headed out the door. She squinted against the sunlight a moment before slipping on her sunglasses. Taking a deep breath, she started the three block walk to the gym. Laura had been planning this for weeks, working up the nerve and memorizing her backstory. It was crucial that Deanna not know what she was planning. Even though she hated that she was pretending to be something she wasn't, a nineteen-year-old journalism student with a few years of Krav Maga under her belt, she loathed starting a relationship, whatever it became, with lies. She'd have to tell her something in a few weeks; at the very least admit to her Martial Arts experience and amend her age._

_The age thing had been Frank's idea. "Far easier," he'd reasoned, "than explaining what you've been really doing for the last few years."_

_"Fair enough," she'd replied._

_This hadn't been the plan. The plan had been to meet her at the fights in six weeks; Laura was scheduled for her second professional fight and Carmilla would be fighting the first of two fights she needed to justify her ranking in the house. All that changed a few weeks ago, however, when Carmilla's internet friend had informed her that she wasn't interested in her. It broke her heart, but somehow, they'd managed to salvage a friendship. But Carmilla was walking a fine line, with everything that had happened the last few months; her disqualification, Bob's death, her illness, Deanna—she was barely holding it together. Dark had been urging her for weeks to come to the gym, even going so far as suggesting to Carmilla to place an online ad looking for a sparring partner. An ad he never actually placed._

_Laura had been weighing the pros and cons the night before when he called to let her know that Carmilla's internet friend had completely cut her off. She wasn't exactly coping well. What she feared most was that her Carmilla was losing hope. It was that fear that had her standing in front of the gym, trying, and failing, to calm her heart rate and breathing._

_"C'mon, Hollis," she chided herself as she forced herself to walk the last hundred feet to the gym. "Girl the hell up!" She took a deep breath, straightened up and pushed open the gym's door, her attention immediately drawn to a loud thumping. Her breath caught when she found its source; even from the back, she recognized her, Carmilla Karnstein._

Now

(One Week, Five Days to Go)

It had been a quiet weekend, most of her cast mates respecting her privacy and giving her some much-needed space. For the first time since Carmilla had gotten to the house she was actually excited about something; today she, and her fellow quarter-finalists, were heading to the Harley Davidson store to pick out the motorcycles they'd get if they won. She'd always wanted a motorcycle and hadn't gotten around to buying one yet. Not to mention the time needed to properly learn to ride one and it wasn't a priority.

She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, closed the door and noticed Aisling sitting by herself looking miserable. Like her, Aisling wasn't coping very well with the Las Vegas heat. She turned back to the fridge, grabbed a couple of ice packs from the freezer and then made her way to the nearest bathroom for a couple of towels before going to join Aisling.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked and received a shrug. "Here," she said as she offered her a towel wrapped ice pack. "Put it on the back of your neck, it'll help cool you down," she explained as she demonstrated.

"Thanks."

"Excited about our little field trip today?" she asked conversationally as she sat beside her. Aisling shrugged again. "Oh c'mon," she prodded with a chuckle, "at least we'll be in air conditioning for a couple of hours."

"I guess," Aisling sighed. "If I win I'll probably just take the money," she shrugged. "More practical," she reasoned.

Carmilla studied her a moment as a thought struck her; almost everyone else here needed the money, she didn't. Where she was debating whether to order a second bike for Laura or if she preferred the idea of her riding on the back of hers with her arms around her, Aisling was thinking the extra money, despite the six-figure contract that came with it, would be nice.

"What?" Aisling prompted as the silence stretched.

"Nothing," she replied dismissively as she stood. "I'll see you in a bit, okay?" Aisling nodded. She went looking for Beth and found her a few minutes later. "I need to talk to Dana," she whispered. "Can you arrange that?"

"Give me a few minutes," Beth replied and wandered off. Carmilla shook her head and headed back to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. She wasn't sure if Dana would go for it, what she had in mind, but she wanted to do something for her cast mates. She'd already planned to help out her two closest friends, Angela and Bec, but they weren't the only ones who could use it. She knew what it was like to live on next to nothing and some of these women, like Bec, had kids to support. This was how they hoped to make their living.

She was sipping her coffee and lost in thought of how to word her proposal when she noticed Beth motioning her over. "Come with me," she whispered and then led her back to the studio. "Here," she said as she gave Carmilla her cell phone and excused herself.

"Hello?"

"Hey kid, what's up?" Dana greeted warmly.

"I'd like to do something for the rest of the cast," she started.

"You're already donating any win and finish bonuses you might get," he reminded her. "What did you have in mind?"

"I'd like to give everyone ten thousand dollars, each of the quarter-finalists an additional fifteen thousand and I want to buy all the semi-finalists their Harleys," she said quickly, hoping Dana would go for it.

"That's a lot of money," Dana pointed out.

"Not to me," she stated. "I'm not bragging," she qualified, "just stating a fact. The point is, it would be a lot of money for the women here." She paused a moment to let that sink in. "Think about it; you're probably planning to have just about everyone fight on the finale, yes?"

"More than likely."

"Imagine how much more exciting it would be if everyone could train without worrying about money?" she suggested.

"So you'd give them their money when?"

"I'd like to give it to them before we all head our separate ways," she replied thoughtfully. "Maybe you could call Laura and she could bring the cheques with her?"

"I suppose."

"Let me make the announcement?"

"I haven't agreed," he pointed out.

"Well, if you do," she smiled, "we'd wait until the finale to tell everyone about the bikes."

"I'll agree on one condition," he began after a few long minutes of silence while he considered her proposal; "You'll keep your bonuses."

"They'll just go towards the gifts," she countered. "But if that would make you feel better," she teased, "sure." He laughed. "It's just," she sighed, "I feel guilty, sometimes, about all the money I have that I haven't earned. I know what they must think of me and I know most of them have no idea why I'm really here. But they know it's not for the money." She sighed. "Each and every one of them has made this whole experience tolerable for me and this is the best way I can think of to thank them."

"You're an incredible young woman, Carmilla," he said, sounding slightly exasperated. "Fine."

"Thank you," she replied gratefully. "And just so you know, I'm planning to give Angela M. and Bec a little extra." He chuckled. "Any news from Vancouver that you can tell me?"

"Nothing."

"Okay," she sighed, she hadn't really expected an answer.

"Hey," he said soothingly, "I really don't know anything aside from the fact that everyone is okay, okay?"

"Okay," she smiled. "And Dana? Thanks."

"You're welcome, kid," he replied warmly. "Have fun on your field trip today, okay?"

"I'll try," she joked and hung up.

She exited the studio and found Beth waiting for her, her hand out for her phone.

"Good news?" she questioned.

"Yup," Carmilla smiled. She wandered off to find her friends, Bec and Angela, inviting them to join her outside when she found them.

"What's up Carm?" Bec asked as they found a spot in the shade.

"Have you guys thought about my offer to come train in Vancouver for the finale?" she asked.

"I'd like to Carm, but…" Bec started.

"You can't afford the airfare for you and your kids?" Carmilla finished for her, Bec nodding sheepishly. "Don't worry about it, okay? Either of you. I'll pick up the tab for your travel and room and board is included at the gym."

"Carm, I can't…" Angela tried to object.

"Can you two keep a secret?" Her friends shared a glance and then looked back at her and nodded. "I'm giving everyone at least ten grand each…"

"At least?" Bec blurted.

"Everyone gets ten, the quarter-finalists each get an extra fifteen and I'm buying all the semi-finalists their bikes, but," she smiled at their ever growing looks of shock, "I'd like to give you each another fifty."

"Thousand?" Angela exclaimed. Carmilla nodded.

"Why?" Bec questioned.

"Because I can," she replied simply with a shrug. "I'm not bragging, but I have more money than I'll ever need. You two," she smiled, "everyone here, really, you've all been so good to me. But you two especially," she reached for their hands, "I don't know what I'd have done without you." She shook her head and looked down. "I don't know if it's a debt I can ever repay. Please," she met their eyes, "you've both helped me so much, let me help you?" When neither answered she prompted; "You're my friends, yes?" They nodded without hesitation. "If I can make my friends' lives easier, shouldn't I?" She smiled. "Besides, it's not completely selfless," she assured them. "If I make the finals I could use a couple of great sparring partners."

"You're nuts; you know that right?" Angela offered after a few moments of silence.

"Maybe," she accepted, "but the fact of the matter is, with Will's death I have more money than I need," she reiterated. "This way, his death at least will do some good."

"And I can bring my kids?" Bec questioned.

"Of course," Carmilla replied. "I can even get them tutors so they won't fall behind in school."

"I'm in," Bec said as she hugged her. "And thank you," she whispered.

"I didn't always have money," she replied as she hugged Angela; "so I know what it's like to live on next to nothing. I don't see the point of having all this money if I can't use it to help the people I care about."

"How are you holding up?" Angela asked.

"Honestly?" she sighed and leaned back. "I don't know," she shook her head. "The more I think about it, the more confused I get." She shook her head. "I don't understand anything and it turns out I don't really know my girlfriend." She rubbed her face. "But," she sighed, "there's no point in coming up with questions that only one person can answer." She looked off into the distance. "The only thing I know for sure is that I love her and she loves me."

"Well that's something," Bec offered with a crooked smile.

"I just," she sighed, "I can't help thinking, either Laura really doesn't know me very well, or whatever she's hiding, it's so big that she has a right to be scared I'll leave her." She shook her head. "I truly don't know which bothers me more," she shrugged. "But there's no point in obsessing over it and maybe making it bigger than it is, you know?"

"I guess," Angela replied. "So, change of topic; looking forward to picking out your bike?"

"I'm looking forward to the air conditioning for a couple of hours," she joked to their laughter. "But really I can't decide whether to order one for Laura or have her ride on the back of mine," she admitted to their continued laughter. "I've always had this fantasy of showing up at my stepmother's on a big bad ass motorcycle, dressed head to toe in leather, with my beautiful, equally leather-clad girlfriend on the back." As she described her fantasy she pictured it and smiled; there was only one woman she could see on the back of her bike, Laura.


	13. Happy Place

Then

(Six Weeks Ago)

Laura lay cuddled into Carmilla's side as they watched Danny and Dark playing pool. It was Wednesday evening and their friends and family would be leaving in a couple of days and although she'd enjoyed their company, Laura was looking forward to having her girlfriend to herself. She wasn't, however, looking forward to her plans for the night and almost groaned as her father entered the rec room.

"You ready to go?" he asked as he came to talk to her.

"Go?" Carmilla questioned with a pout as Laura sat up and stretched.

"We're going for a walk," Laura supplied and kissed her softly. "We won't be gone long."

"It's getting a little late for a walk," Carmilla commented as she stood and then said to Danny and Dark; "I get the winner." She turned back to Laura. "C'mon, there's a couple of things you should take with you."

"Carm…" Laura sighed.

"We don't usually get anything bigger than foxes and raccoons, but every so often a bear or cougar makes it around the fences," she explained as she led them upstairs and to her office. "And you can't underestimate a pissed off momma raccoon," she joked as she punched in the key code.

"I'll wait for you outside," Mark offered and took his leave.

"Laura?" Carmilla said to get her attention. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really," she thought. "I'm fine," she sighed, "he and I need to talk and I'm not looking forward to it," she admitted; it was as close to the truth as she could get. She studied the monitors covering one wall. "Is this all the cameras on the property?" she asked, Carmilla nodded. "How come so many of them are black?"

"Most of the cameras around the perimeter are motion activated," Carmilla explained as she came to hug her from behind; "saves bandwidth and batteries. The rest of the black ones are around the cabin; Kenny shuts them down whenever we come up here." She kissed the back of her neck and then went to punch in the code on a large gun cabinet. "Take a couple of tranq guns with you," she continued as she took out a backpack and two guns. She placed the guns in the bag along with a box of darts. "You've got your cell with you?" she asked as she put a couple of flashlights in the bag and zipped it up.

"I'll grab it on my way out," Laura conceded as they made their way back out to the living room.

"You think I'm being overprotective?" Carmilla asked as she turned to her.

"Maybe a little," Laura teased and kissed the frown from her forehead. "I think it's sweet," she said fondly. "But I'm a big girl, okay?"

"I know," Carmilla smiled. "But it's easy to forget the natural dangers up here. Most of the animals steer clear when we're up here but you never know and it gets dark up here really fast so it's easy to get lost." She took both her hands. "I'll always do what I can to keep you safe," she smiled. "At least, up here, it's pretty straightforward."

Laura was touched by Carmilla's concern but since she didn't know how to respond, she kissed her softly. They broke apart at a tap on the window, Carmilla kissing her forehead before they both turned to glare at Laura's father. He shrugged and pointed at his watch.

"I have to go," Laura sighed and went to take her phone of its charger. As much as she wasn't relishing the idea of spending time alone with her father, it needed to be done. She needed to try. "Go on," she prodded, "go kick their asses at pool."

Carmilla kissed her one last time and made her way for the stairs to the rec room. She sighed and shook her head as she went to join her father outside, handing him the backpack when she reached him. They walked for awhile in silence, neither wanting to risk the chance they'd be overheard.

"How's your arm?" her father asked conversationally.

"Stiff," she supplied as she held it out in front of her, wincing when she hit the limit of how far she could move it. "Doc says I should be fine to fight on the finale, if I want to."

"I'm sorry?"

"Remember the woman I fought last summer?" He nodded. "She got my spot when I broke my arm, promised not to say anything to Carm if I agreed to a rematch," she shrugged. "Doc said I can start training again in about a month, depending on how my physio goes."

They continued on in silence for awhile until her father again broke it once the cabin was a good distance behind them; "How are you holding up?" he questioned. She glanced at him and shrugged. "And Carmilla?"

"Do you care?" she countered flatly.

"Of course, I care," he answered her and pulled her to a stop. "Do you think I'd have done any of this if I didn't care?"

"What, _exactly_ , have you done?" she hissed. "For the last ten years, what have you done?" She studied him a moment. "It's been longer?" He looked down guiltily. "How long?" She poked him in the chest. "How long?" she pressed. When he still didn't answer, she guessed; "You've been spying on them since her mother died haven't you?" He looked up. "Did you even love Mom?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"How can you ask that?" he replied, his eyes swimming with tears and his voice strained.

"Because you loved Carmen," she accused.

"I did," he admitted. "But she didn't love me," he shrugged and wiped away his tears. "So I moved on, met your mother, fell in love all over again."

"But you didn't," she differed as she took her phone out to check the GPS. "You didn't move on; the second she needed you, you came running," she added with a nod down the path.

"It wasn't like that," he replied, almost pleading.

"No?" she scoffed and stopped again to turn to him. "Then tell me what it was like. Explain to me why Mom's life, my life, was less important to you than her?"

"That's not fair," he replied wearily. "You'd do anything for your friends, wouldn't you?" She nodded slowly. "I didn't know how bad it'd get," he confided. "I started looking into Carmen's death, despite Bill's wishes. Even changed our names just in case."

"Wait!" she exclaimed. "You did?"

"You were six," he smiled weakly, "I'm not surprised you don't remember." He shrugged. "I shortened our last names from Hollstein."

"Holstein?" she laughed as she checked the GPS on her phone again and started looking around. "Like the cow?"

"Almost," he chuckled, "there's an extra 'L'."

"And Mom went along with this?"

"I told her everything," he supplied, "she knew the risks."

"I don't get it," she admitted. "You've been watching over them all this time; why didn't you help them?"

"And risk your life for theirs?" he countered. "You think you know what she's capable of, but you have no idea. I couldn't risk it."

"So why bother at all?"

"Because," he smiled, "I knew a day would come when everything I've gathered would be of use." He stopped, turned to her and took her arms in his hands. "Laura, honey, we just have to get her to trial. The evidence I have, the witnesses I have hidden, she doesn't stand a chance."

"Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"Did you know Deanna was beating her within an inch of her life on a regular basis?" she supplied acidly as she looked around. "There," she said pointing off into the underbrush. "Quite ingenious really," she commented and looked at him. "See it? About fifteen feet in?" She pointed again. "Come here," she ordered and turned him around to grab the flashlights and tranquilizer guns. She handed him one of each, checked the safety on the gun she held, tucked it into the back of her jeans and then turned the flashlight on and aimed where she'd been pointing. "You'd never notice it if you weren't looking for it," she commented as she made to walk through the underbrush towards a tree, a branch, about halfway up, broken into the shape of an arrow. "So, did you?" she pressed.

"She was only taken to the hospital twice," he answered as he followed her. "The day of Bill's funeral when she went through a window and when she broke her arm."

"First of all," she began quietly, "the 'window' was a glass coffee table." She stopped to face him again when they reached a second, far less traveled, path. "You can't possibly be that stupid or naïve."

"I beg your pardon, young lady?"

"She hired a private, and disgraced, doctor to patch her up," she informed him.

"Carmilla tell you this?" he asked skeptically.

"No, I don't think she ever figured it out," she eyed him a moment. "You think she's lying? About the beatings? Seriously?" She was starting to have trouble controlling her anger. "I've read her journals, both of them," she shook her head and fought back the tears stinging her eyes. "No one could make that shit up." She ran her hands through her hair. "You're right, I had Bret look up hospital records, or tried to anyway," she kicked at the dirt; "There aren't any." She started walking again. "But I cross-referenced Carm's school records. Each and every instance she describes coincides with absences from school, sometimes for weeks at a time." She glanced at him. "And she still uses the same doctor; Mary Winchester."

"If that's true, how did Carmilla never figure it out?"

"Because she presented herself as Deanna's 'friend', and more often than not, Carmilla was unconscious at the time," she provided and then whispered as she took her gun from her jeans; "We're being followed."

As if to confirm her theory a twig broke from behind them. She pivoted and trained her gun on its approximate location.

"This is becoming a habit, Miss Hollis," Bill Karnstein joked as he stepped from the shadows, his hands raised.

"Yes," she chuckled, "and I still haven't decided not to shoot you."

"Noted," he nodded and looked to her father. "Mark."

"Asshat," Mark replied.

"Fair enough," Bill laughed and motioned them down the path. "We're almost there."

"Almost where?" Mark asked.

"Home."

Laura and Mark shared a look and then followed him for another fifteen minutes before reaching a wall at the base of the mountain. They watched as Bill pressed a spot on the wall, a door opening beside him.

"Why do I get the feeling this has been her a lot longer than the decade you've been hiding?" Laura questioned as they followed him inside, studying the walls of the cave as she went.

"You are, Miss Hollis, correct," Bill replied with a chuckle. "My grandfather was a bit of a paranoid survivalist," he supplied. "Built this place to escape to if the aliens ever invaded."

"Seriously?" Laura sniggered and then grew quiet as they entered the main room.

It was circular with several hallways leading off it, maybe twenty or thirty feet across at it's widest. In the middle were several armchairs and couches, while along the walls there was a modest kitchen, bar, and the biggest television Laura had ever seen.

"I might have made a few…" he looked around; "upgrades," he finished with a smile. "Can I offer you a drink?" he offered as he walked over to the bar. "Whiskey? If memory serves," he asked as he looked at Mark who nodded. "Miss Hollis?"

"Nothing thanks," she replied as she took the backpack from her father and put her gun and flashlight away. "This is hardly a social call."

Bill handed Mark his drink and then motioned to the couches and chairs. They all took seats, Laura and her father sharing a couch across from Bill.

"So," Bill started, "want to tell me to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Pleasure?" Laura scoffed.

"I don't exactly get many visitors," he replied.

"Explain to me, again, why you faked your death," she asked coldly.

"That wasn't the plan," he confided. "My doctor," he shook his head, "he wasn't sure I'd live. I thought," he rubbed his face, "I didn't want to put the kids through it. I figured, if I survived, I could go back, but…"

"You were too afraid of your wife?" Mark supplied wryly.

"I thought they were okay," he retorted. "By the time I could walk on my own again…" he looked off into the distance. "I didn't think they needed me."

"Give me a break!" Laura hissed. "You're a coward, plain and simple."

"I've been called worse."

"What proof, aside from the timing, do you have that Deanna had my wife and Laura attacked?" Mark questioned.

"A conversation I overheard," Bill explained. "I was pretty out of it most of the time, she thought I wasn't listening." He shook his head and stood to pace. "Actually, two conversations; one was to her lawyer, I'm fairly sure, the other was her hitman, I assume. Both conversations had to do with you," he finished with a pointed look to Mark before he continued. "She was scared you might succeed with your bid for custody in the event of my death," he looked at Laura. "You don't seem surprised; I take it he told you?"

"Told me what?" Laura asked with forced bewilderment.

"That Will is your half brother," Bill stated.

"He said he wasn't sure, that he doesn't remember," Laura replied with a side glance at her father.

"Be that as it may," Bill chuckled, "I was sterile at the time."

"I'm sorry?" Mark interjected.

"Carmilla was an…"

"Accident?" Laura offered.

"Miracle," he countered. "I found out when she was about two and Carmen desperately wanted a second child, that I had an abnormally low sperm count. We were just starting to look into in vitero when she got pregnant with Will."

"But you have no actual proof," Laura pointed out. "I mean, if it happened once with Carm, what's to say it didn't happen a second time?"

"Because my wife and I hadn't had sex in over a month when she got pregnant," he provided. "We were," he shook his head again, the pain obvious on his face, "going through a rough patch."

"Because she thought you were having an affair?" Laura prodded, he nodded. "Were you?"

"Of course not!" he cried. "I loved my wife. I would have never…"

"And yet you forgave her, no questions asked, when she came home to you?" Mark asked dubiously.

"She didn't tell me, at first," he admitted and fell into a chair. "She only came completely clean when she found out she was pregnant. Like you, Mark, she had no memory of what happened that night."

"Did you ever find out for sure?" Laura questioned, Bill shook his head. "Why not?"

"Because I needed a son for my inheritance to go to as was my family's tradition," he provided. "I think," he sighed, "I think Deanna's plan was to break us up and then have me get her pregnant with a son."

"But if you're infertile…" Laura started.

"Was," he corrected. " _Was_ infertile."

"So Deanna, she did that to you?" Mark questioned.

"I think so," he answered.

"Again," Laura started quietly, "explain to me how leaving your children in the care of that women was the best plan?" He stared back without answering. "We're out there putting our lives on the line while you, what? Hide here safe and sound?" She stood. "I have to send my girlfriend, your daughter, away for six weeks just to make sure she's safe while I clean up your mess!"

"What would you have me do?" he agonized.

"Come forward and be her father, you fucking coward!" she yelled. "Who are you more afraid of? Deanna? Or Carm when she finds out you left her and Will to their fates?" She shook her head and grabbed a tranquilizer gun and flashlight from the backpack. "You know what?" she met his eyes again. "Stay here, be a fucking hermit, she doesn't need you anymore." She looked at her father. "You coming?"

"No," he replied quietly, "I have a few more things I'd like to discuss with the asshat."

"What's to discuss?" she jeered. "He's not going to do the right thing so what's the point?" Her father shrugged. "Fine," she stated, turned and left.

She tucked the gun back into her waistband as she walked quickly from the room. Laura wasn't sure what she wanted to do more; hit something or break down and cry. She stopped as she gained the fresh air, trying, but failing miserably, to push down the anger and sadness that threatened to overwhelm her. She turned on the flashlight; Carmilla was right, night fell fast and she could barely see the almost non-existent path.

Her anger and sadness took a back seat as she concentrated on finding the main path again. For a little while anyway. The path disappeared completely and Laura found a log to sit down on to gather herself. Sure, getting Carmilla on the show had always been her plan, keep her safe while she went after Deanna, but that was before she found out Bill was alive. He could end it all but he was too afraid.

Her thoughts were interrupted by voices on the main path.

"So Dark said something the other day," she heard Kirsch say; "that, you know, I'm in the 'friendzone'."

"Really?" Danny replied, clearly at a loss. "That's why you brought me out here?" There was a pause and Laura assumed Kirsch had nodded. "Fine," she sighed. "Fine. If that's the only way you can think of women, then yes. You have been 'friendzoned'."

It was quiet a moment and then she heard Kirsch reply in a singsong voice; "Yes! I have made it into the friendzone."

"Wait, what?" Danny exclaimed. "You're happy about this?"

"Of course. I am. I mean, yeah, I'd totally want more, because you know, you're super smart and way tough and smokin' hot. But you know, I get it. You're just not into me that way. And, you know, even if you don't like me the way I like you, I still think you're awesome. You're like the Rhonda Rousey… of us. Why wouldn't it be awesome to be your friend?"

"Kirsch, that's really sweet!"

It got quiet again so Laura crept closer to see what was happening only to find the two hugging.

"Oh, I am all up in your friendzone!" Kirsch said giddily before Danny pushed him away.

"Please." She held her hands up. "Never say that again." She placed her hands on his shoulders. "Kirsch," she sighed, "if I did, you know, 'bat for that team', I'd be lucky to find a guy like you."

"Yeah?"

"Sure," she assured him. "Why wouldn't I? You're sweet, loyal… you know, kinda like a golden retriever?"

"You're comparing me to a dog?" he laughed.

"I meant it as a compliment," she joked and then called. "You can come out! I know you're there!" Laura was about to move when she saw Natasha join them. "Hey kid, what's up?"

"I was, uh, hoping we could talk?" Natasha stuttered nervously.

Danny nodded and looked at Kirsch; "We good?" He nodded. "Okay, can you give us a few?" He nodded again and wandered off. "So…" she started as she turned to Natasha, "what's up?"

"Am I, you know, in the 'friendzone', too?"

"You're sixteen," Danny deflected.

"I'll be seventeen soon," Natasha countered a little more confidently as she stepped closer to her. "I'm already of age to consent, I checked."

"And I'll soon be twenty-three," Danny pointed out. "That's more than a six-year age difference," she shook her head. "Even if we were older, it's still a big gap."

"You're making excuses!" Natasha accused and stepped away. "Stop trying to spare my feelings!" She turned and glared at Danny. "If you don't like me you can just say so!"

"It's not that simple."

"So you do like me?" Natasha asked hopefully.

"Nat," she sighed.

"It's Laura, isn't it?" she asked quietly. "You're still in love with her." When Danny didn't answer she pressed; "She'll never leave Carmilla, surely you know that."

"I do," Danny sighed deeply. "But that doesn't change how I feel." She stepped in front of the teenager and took her shoulders in her hands. "I do like you, Nat, I do," she shook her head, "but even if we were the same age, I'm not ready to get involved with anyone."

"Fine," Natasha replied brightly, "I'll wait."

"I can't ask you to do that," Danny differed.

"It's not your choice," Natasha countered. "I think you're worth waiting for, I'm going to wait." Danny went to interrupt but Natasha pushed on. "Look, I'm not saying I'm going to put my life on hold, okay? Just, you know, maybe I'll look you up when I turn eighteen." Natasha was clearly backpedaling, trying to make Danny think she'd be okay. "But, um, you know, if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

Natasha got up her toes to kiss Danny's cheek, which quickly turned red.

"See?" Natasha smiled. "I knew you like me," she teased and then skipped off towards the cabin.

"You can come out now!" Danny called again as she turned to where Laura was hiding.

"You knew I was there?" Laura questioned as she climbed back onto the main path. Danny nodded. "How long?"

"Since I hugged Kirsch," she supplied.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Eavesdrop?"

"Interrupt," Laura amended and looked down the path. "Danny if you…"

"Laura, don't."

"I was just going to say…"

"What?" Danny interrupted. "What right do you have to say anything about my love life?"

"So you do like her? Natasha?"

"What if I do?" Danny sighed. "She's still sixteen."

"But in a year or two the six years won't be such a big deal," Laura commented. "Look, I was just going to say, if you don't have feelings for her, then you shouldn't give her false hope."

"What, like you gave me?"

Laura was saved answering as her father stumbled onto the path, his right hand over his eye, blood dripping from it.

"What did you do?" she questioned as she ran to him.

"Walked into a branch," he supplied.

"Right," she said skeptically as she pried his hand from his face. "Close your eye," she instructed and then shone her flashlight in his face to reveal a three-inch cut above his eyebrow and his right eye swelling. "It's not too bad," she told him. "C'mon, Carm can patch you up," she added as she took his arm and led him back towards the cabin.

As they neared the end of the trail, Danny finally broke the uncomfortable silence; "I'll, uh, run ahead and get Carm," she offered and then jogged off.

"Care to tell me what really happened?" Laura whispered.

"Told you," he hissed. "Walked into a branch."

"A fist shaped branch?" she mocked.

"Fine," he sighed. "I might have hit him; he might have hit me back."

"I knew it was a bad idea to leave the two of you alone," she sighed as she looked toward the sound of running footsteps.

"What happened?" Carmilla asked as she reached them.

"I was following Laura and walked into a branch she walked under," Mark supplied as Carmilla took his arm and led him to the cabin.

"A branch?" Carmilla replied skeptically with a raised eyebrow towards Laura as they made their way into the closest bathroom. "Can you grab the first aid kit from under the kitchen sink?" she asked Laura as she sat Mark on the toilet to clean him up.

Laura nodded, left the bathroom and ran into Danny on the way to the kitchen.

"What did you tell Carm?" she asked.

"That we were talking when your Dad joined us," Danny supplied.

"Shit," Laura hissed. "He told her he was following me out and walked into a branch."

"What's going on?"

"That's a good question," Laura replied as she retrieved the kit from under the sink. "Don't worry about it, I'll figure it out. We need to talk before you head back to Vancouver." Danny nodded. "Thanks for running to get Carm." She squeezed Danny's arm. "I know it might not seem like it, but I do care about you."

"Whatever," Danny sighed and walked away.

As Laura made her way back to the bathroom she couldn't help but think how much easier things would have been if Danny hadn't come back into her life. She did care about her but it complicated an already complex situation. She took a deep breath and rejoined Carmilla and her father.

"Thanks, Pup," Carmilla said fondly and kissed her cheek as she took the kit from her. Laura watched in awe as Carmilla patched up her father. She could tell she'd been drinking; her cheeks always reddened when she did. But despite that, her hands were steady as she cleaned her father's wound and applied butterfly bandages to close it.

"The good news is," Carmilla started as she got a waterproof bandage ready; "you won't need stitches." She smiled. "The bad news is you'll probably get a black eye."

"Kitten," Laura interjected, "I can finish him up," she smiled and kissed her cheek. "Why don't you run us that bath we were talking about? I'll be up in a few minutes."

Carmilla studied her a moment, smiled and kissed her softly. "Wine?" Laura nodded. "Is it safe to leave the two of you alone?"

"What?" Laura laughed. "You think I hit him?" Carmilla raised an eyebrow. "He's more than a foot taller than me and more than a hundred pounds heavier."

"Hey!" Mark objected.

"The point is," Laura continued doggedly, "even if I could manage to hit him in the eye, I doubt I could hit him hard enough to split his eyebrow." She smiled. "Besides, I only wear one ring," she held up her left hand displaying the Promise Ring Carmilla had given her, "and I'm sure as hell not hitting anything with my left hand anytime soon."

"Whatever you say," Carmilla teased and kissed her. "I'll see you upstairs."

She closed the door behind her and then turned back to her father.

"What did you tell her?" she questioned as she started applying his bandage.

"I told her that we had an argument, you stormed off and I let you," he supplied. "And then I walked into a branch."

"Okay," she sighed, "I can work with that." She finished bandaging him up. "Want to tell me what really happened?"

"He made the mistake of saying I was a bad father."

"I can see how that might piss you off."

"Yeah, but it was accusing me of trying to be Carmilla's father that made me throw my glass at him."

"No!" she laughed.

"Missed him," he chuckled, "Destroyed that big ass TV of his instead."

"I'd almost feel sorry for him if wasn't such a jackass."

"Why?"

"He'll have to wait until after we leave to get it replaced," she joked.

"Well it wasn't just a TV," he interrupted. "He used it to monitor the cameras."

"Son of a…" she shook her head. "Kenny doesn't shut down cameras for her privacy, he shuts them down so she won't see him."

"Anyway, he hit me, I hit him back and left," Mark finished.

"Get some ice on that eye," she advised him as he stood and then ushered him out. "I'll see you in the morning." She closed the door behind him and then cleaned up the first aid supplies. She used the toilet, washed her hands and then headed upstairs to join Carmilla in the bath.

She opened the door to their bedroom only to stop in her tracks; Carmilla had been busy. Candles adorned every surface of the room along with vases of fresh picked wild flowers. She crossed the room to the bathroom only to again stop, her breath catching slightly as she found Carmilla waiting for her. The bathroom was lit up with candles as well, the tub full and brimming with bubbles, Carmilla in her red leopard print robe stood leaning against the window and looking out over the lake with a half-filled wine glass in her hand.

"You did all this," Laura looked at her watch, " in fifteen minutes?"

"No," Carmilla replied as she turned, her robe parting and revealing she wore nothing underneath. "I asked Brody to go check on you and your Dad, he asked Danny to go with him so Dark went and picked the flowers and I came up here and did all this." She looked around. "You like?"

"Beautiful," she sighed as she walked towards her, her mouth dry as she appreciated the glimpse of her girlfriend's body.

"I feel like I haven't had you to myself in days," Carmilla lamented playfully as Laura picked up her wine glass on her way over to her. She took a sip of wine as she used her free hand to open Carmilla's robe. "I thought we could make the most of it."

Laura walked to the bathtub, set her glass down beside it and turned back to Carmilla as she joined her. She reached up to brush her hair behind her ear and then ran her hand behind her neck to pull her in for a kiss. As the kiss deepened she slipped Carmilla's robe from her shoulders and then stepped back.

"You're so beautiful," she sighed.

"I'm nothing special," Carmilla countered as her cheeks flushed and she reached to help Laura take her shirt off. "You on the other hand," she smiled, her voice deep as she ran her fingertips over her chest and then reached around to undo her bra, "are a vision."

"Carm?" Laura said to get her attention from undoing her shorts. "You are beautiful," she said firmly and fondly. "Before I met you," she began as she undid her shorts and let them and her underwear drop to the ground, "from what I knew of you, I thought you were vain because of how you acted in public."

"And now you see me for the insecure basket case that I am?" Carmilla joked as she got into the tub and held her hand out to her to help her into the tub.

"No," Laura smiled, "now I understand why you are the way you are. It's all an act," she leaned in and kissed her before she sat down, leaning against the side of the tub while Carmilla sat at the back of it. She handed Carmilla her wine and then reached for her own. She took a sip and then asked; "What?" as she noticed Carmilla staring at her.

"Want to tell me why your Dad lied to me?"

"What are you talking about?" Laura deflected.

"Well, Danny told me you two were talking when he stumbled out of the bush but he, originally anyway, said that he'd walked into a branch as he was following you out."

"But he told you the truth after, right?" Laura stalled.

"He did," Carmilla nodded. "But not before I called him on it."

"I guess he didn't want to admit we were arguing," Laura reasoned and hoped Carmilla would let it rest.

"So, what were you arguing about?" Carmilla pressed.

"I don't…"

"Laura, please," she pleaded; "I love you but you have to let me in, talk to me." Laura was trying to think of something to tell her when Carmilla gave her an idea. "It was about me, wasn't it?"

"He's worried I'll get hurt," Laura admitted. Although it wasn't an argument they'd had recently, it was one they'd had at least half a dozen times before she'd worked up the nerve to visit the gym.

"He's not wrong."

Laura couldn't admit the truth, that her life was in danger long before they'd met, so instead she pointed out the obvious; "Bruce was following me before we met."

"So?"

"He wasn't your fault," she reminded her. "And the Jeep was probably sabotaged last summer, right?"

"True," Carmilla conceded. "But the hotel room was directed at hurting you."

"Pretty lame attempt, don't you think?" she joked. They still didn't know the truth about that. "The point is, I'm fine. I'm a big girl and I can handle it, okay?"

"You shouldn't have to."

"The reward is worth the risk to me," she shrugged. "You're worth it, whether you believe that or not." She put her wine glass aside and turned to lay down on her chest. Carmilla placed her wine glass aside and rubbed her back. "You're my 'happy place'."

"I'm sorry?" Carmilla chuckled.

"You're not the only one who's had to overcome PTSD," she confided. "My shrink, she always told me to 'find my happy place'." She looked up at her. "All these moments, when I'm safe in your arms and nothing else matters, this is my happy place." She kissed her chest. "I know, when it gets tough, when you're away," she smiled, "it'll be the memories of times like this, when it's just the two of us being together, being in love, that'll get me through."

"I love you, Laura," Carmilla said quietly and kissed her forehead. "This time next year, it'll all be over and we can go anywhere." She sighed. "Even start over if we want."

"All this shit, Kitten, it's not going to break us," she affirmed.

"No, Pup, it's only going to make us stronger," Carmilla agreed.

Laura hoped that was true. With all that she was hiding, the biggest of which was hiding in the mountain at this very moment, she prayed that what they'd built would withstand the truth once she was finally able to tell it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my beautiful readers, my deepest apologies for the delay. I have, however, recently come to a decision that will hopefully mean more regular updates. When I started part two I had every intention of including both a "Now" and a "Then" in each chapter, however, between changes in my work schedule and the daunting task of trying to write a ten-thousand-word chapter, I've been finding it hard to get a chapter written every two weeks. Believe me, that frustrates me as much as it does you. So, from now on, when either section goes more than five thousand words, I'll let it stand alone. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you did please comment! I look as forward to them as you do my updates.


	14. Doubts

Now

(Nine Days To Go)

 _"You're not the only one who's had to overcome PTSD," Laura confided. "My shrink, she always told me to 'find my happy place'." She looked up at her. "All these moments, when I'm safe in your arms and nothing else matters, this is my happy place." She kissed her chest. "I know, when it gets_ tough, _when you're away," she smiled, "it'll be the memories of times like this, when it's just the two of us being together, being in love, that'll get me through."_

 _"I love_ you _Laura," Carmilla said quietly and kissed her forehead. "This time next year, it'll all be over and we can go anywhere." She sighed. "Even start over if we want."_

_"All this shit, Kitten, it's not going to break us," she affirmed._

_"No, Pup, it's only going to make us stronger," Carmilla agreed. She ran her fingertips down Laura's spine, the blonde relaxing and melting into her. "You're my 'happy place' too," she continued and kissed the top of her head. "Before we met, I never worried too much about the future or what I'm going to do once this all over because I couldn't see past it." Laura looked up to her. "And now?" She smiled and kissed her softly. "Now I realize it doesn't matter."_

_"It doesn't?"_

_"No," she kissed her forehead. "So long as you're a part of my life it doesn't matter where I am, or what I'm doing, I know I'll be happy." Laura pulled her into a long kiss. "But I was thinking, maybe after the finale, if everything has calmed down by then, I thought, maybe you, me and the gang, could go to Disney World for a couple weeks."_

_"As in Florida?" Laura asked excitedly._

_"Yes," Carmilla laughed, "we can visit all the theme parks."_

_"Even the Harry Potter theme park?"_

_"Even the Harry Potter theme park," she affirmed with a chuckle. "After that, maybe a road trip, once you turn twenty-one…"_

_"Why twenty-one?" Laura interrupted._

_"So you'll be legal in the states?" she provided. "Maybe travel down the west coast, through the southern states, maybe drop down to Mexico for a few days, come back up the east coast, visit New York, Provincetown…"_

_"Provincetown?"_

_"It's at the tip of Cape Cod," Carmilla supplied. "Sort of the east coast's version of San Francisco only, from the pictures I've seen, it looks like a quaint little maritime town…"_

Carmilla chuckled to herself; when Laura turns twenty-one.

"What's so funny?" Ethan asked.

She'd been trying to talk to him alone all week and had finally found an excuse; with weigh-ins the next day, she was able to score some time alone in the gym before the first of the quarter-finals later. Carmilla wasn't actually worried about her weight, she'd fought a week ago, after all. She wanted time alone to clear her head, and maybe a chance to get word to Laura would help with that.

"I was thinking about something Julie said on the plane," she started, looking at him to gauge his reaction. "I watched her, this five-foot-nothing woman, take control of well built six-foot tall man. She'd laughed and said; 'You think she'd let you fly without protection?'" She studied him a moment before she continued; "It occurred to me that I haven't had any of the other drivers," he glanced her way. "I know you can't confirm or deny my theory but I was hoping you could tell Laura something for me." He came to a stop at a red light, turned to her and nodded. "Tell her to look into my ex, Nancy."

"That's all?"

"Knowing her, she's already figured it out," she provided. "But in the off chance she hasn't…"

"You want to help even though you're not there?" he finished for her. "You sure there's nothing else you want to tell her?"

She looked out the window as she considered his offer; "Tell her," she sighed. "Tell her; nothing's changed. I'm hurt and confused but not angry, not anymore, I still love her, no matter what." She smiled and looked back to him. "Thanks."

"Will it help?" he questioned. "Getting a message to her?"

"It might," she sighed.

By the time they pulled into the gym a little while later Carmilla was feeling lighter than she had since she'd gotten back. Every spare moment she had, despite her promise to Laura, was spent trying to figure out what the hell was going on at home. She couldn't help herself, she'd spent most of her life trying to predict Deanna's next move, it came naturally.

She made her way into the gym, dropped her bag near the lockers, took off her sweatshirt and laid it on top her bag and then walked over to nearest treadmill, set it to a slow jog, and started her run. She let her mind wander; Nancy. Carmilla had spent most of her free time trying to figure out the plane and Will's escape. It was a far less confusing train of thought than the other option; Laura.

Carmilla shook her head; she didn't want to think about Laura right now. It was bad enough she had a page and a half of questions written down in the back pages of her journal. She found it easier to let the question lie if she wrote them down. Unfortunately, one question always led to more. She upped the speed on the treadmill and refocused her attention.

There were but a few mysteries still unsolved. Or rather, few that they couldn't attribute to Deanna. Although they had yet to track down the crew from the auto paint shop, it was far too convenient that they'd disappeared days after their shop burned down. Which, so happened, was only days after they'd picked up the truck and van. There was, of course, the question of the winch cable but when Carmilla thought back to that day, she only became more confused. Did Laura already know about the bomb they were driving around in? Had she gotten up early and cut the cable herself? No. She'd been thinking over everything since she'd gotten back. Every conversation. Every interaction. Every facial expression. There were a few conclusions she'd come to. Laura was a bad liar. Yes, she'd been deceived, misled, and maybe even manipulated, but she believed Laura when she'd said she'd done her best to not outright lie to her. There was a look she got on her face just before she'd change the subject by kissing her; now she knew what that look was, guilt.

Carmilla upped the speed again; that was a dangerous path so she returned to the one she was on, Nancy. She'd thought the room was Deanna's attempt to come between her and Laura by exposing her former relationship with Nancy. But maybe it was Nancy all along.

She upped the speed again and thought back to when they were younger; she'd always suspected that Nancy, or Melissa as she was known then, was in on it. Nothing that Nancy had said in the time since they'd reconnected had dissuaded her of that notion. She had, however, decided to give her the benefit of a doubt. That, apparently, was her first mistake. Her second was accepting Nancy's story at face value; that she had been an unwilling pawn in Deanna's plot and now feared for her life. Frank helped her set up a new identity and got her the job at the Chateau Fairmont, in return, Nancy assured her anonymity whenever she was in Whistler.

Was it as simple as Deanna had continued to use Nancy against her? Or had Nancy, like Will, used Deanna to achieve her own ends? But that begged the question; what was Nancy after? Carmilla hit the stop button and stepped off the treadmill. "No," she thought, "it couldn't be that simple." She walked over to her locker to grab a towel and wiped the sweat from her face. Maybe Nancy had been an innocent pawn when they were younger. "Maybe," she thought, "Melissa had no idea." She took her wraps from her bag and then examined the stitches on her right hand. She made a fist and found that the cut itself had healed but the stitches were pulling. "Maybe," she considered as she made her way to medical; "she was trying to take out the competition?"

"Miss Karnstein," the nurse greeted, "I thought we'd agree to take out your stitches after weigh-ins?"

"Yeah, but it looks like the cut is healed," Carmilla offered as she went to show her.

"Wow," the nurse remarked as she checked it; "It does look really good."

"I've been doing everything possible to not use it," Carmilla offered as the nurse motioned her to cot and then removed the bandages on her knees to check them. "But I want to start really hitting with it so I know how bad it is."

"Your knees look good too," she informed her, bandaged her knees, and then stood and went to collect what she needed to take out her stitches. "We should still bandage them for the fight, you'll probably tear off your scabs."

"True," Carmilla sighed.

"I never got the results from your x-rays," the nurse commented to distract her as she cut and pulled the threads from her hand.

"They didn't take x-rays," she confided, looked at the door, and then back to the nurse, her voice barely above a whisper as she continued; "The doctor made a point that he'd hate to see me disqualified if they found something I would normally fight through." She put her free hand on the nurse's wrist. "It feels fine," she assured her. "Two more fights and then I have three months to recuperate, right?"

"I suppose," the nurse replied uncertainly as she felt the bones in her hand. "Any of that hurt?" Carmilla shook her head. "Well, that's good," she smiled. "Good luck on Friday."

"Thanks," Carmilla replied as she jumped off the cot.

She headed back into the gym, retrieved her wrist wraps and MMA gloves, and then slipped off her runners and socks. Normally she'd use her boxing gloves while punching the heavy bag but she needed to know just how hard she could punch with her right hand. She wrapped her wrists, slipped on her gloves and then stretched on her way to the heavy bag. She lined up in front of the bag, her left hand back and her right even with her jaw. She pictured where Joanne's chin would be and then starting hitting the bag with her right jab, harder and harder until it hurt too much. She stepped away from the bag and shook out her right hand, grinning despite the lingering stinging in her knuckles. She'd managed to hit the bag with almost all her strength before she had to stop. Carmilla lined back up with the bag again, this time kicking with her left leg until it felt comfortable and then added a straight left behind it. Once that felt natural she reset and started the combination with a double right jab.

Carmilla stepped away from the bag again, and as she shook out her arms, she remembered a kick she saw Laura practicing. Doc had given Laura permission to return to training despite her casted left arm, but to limit the temptation to use it anyway, she concentrated on her kicks instead. She shook her head and chuckled; how had she not questioned her martial arts training sooner? Carmilla looked towards the door when she heard it open, relieved to see her coach, Gilbert, walking towards her.

"How's the hand?" he asked as he approached.

"Feels fine," she replied with a shrug. "Mind grabbing the pads so I can try a kick?" He nodded, went to grab them and then pointed towards the cage with them once he'd slipped them on. Once they were facing each other in the middle of the cage she explained what she wanted to do; "I don't know what the kick is called but I saw my girlfriend practicing it and I think it might work really well with me switching up my stance." She smiled and adjusted where she wanted him to hold the pad. "Ready?" Gilbert nodded.

Carmilla stepped back a bit and bounced on the balls of her feet, her left foot back. She visualized the kick, stepped forward with her left, spun on it, and then whipped her right leg around and hit the pad with her right heel.

"Nice!" Gilbert complimented. "Let's get a little more speed behind it." She practiced the kick for another ten minutes until it felt natural. "Okay," he smiled, "now how do you plan to set it up?"

"I'm going to set it up at the end of the round in case it doesn't work," she started as they reset in the middle of the cage. "Until then I'm going to lay off the right hand," she hit the pad with her right twice at about twenty-five percent. "Make her think I can't hit too hard with it yet." He nodded and smiled. "I've been practicing my left kick and I plan to keep drilling her leg with it until she starts checking it. Around the four-minute mark I'm going to hit her has hard as I can with my right jab," she demonstrated just how hard that was. "Hopefully it'll be enough to stun her and knock her back a bit, give me a little space." She waved him back to the middle. "Ready?" He nodded and held up both pads. She pumped her right jab twice, even harder than last time and forced Gilbert back a step. She stepped forward with her left leg, spun, nailed the pad dead on with her right heal and then followed it up with a left hook.

"That could work," Gilbert smiled. "Let's see it a few more times." They continued until fighters from both teams started entering the gym, each time she tried the combination she added a different follow-up strike at the end, trying to figure out which might work best. "Alright, let's call it a day," Gilbert announced and shook out his arms. "How's your weight?" he asked conversationally as they exited the cage.

"You know, in any other context, asking a woman a question like that would get you smacked?" she teased and pointed towards the scales. "Let's find out?" she suggested. He nodded and followed her over as she stripped off her gloves and wrist wraps. She handed them to him and stepped up on the scale, sighing when it settled at a hundred and fourteen. She shook her head as she stepped down and took her gloves and wraps back from him.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I haven't been eating much since I got back," she admitted. He motioned her out into the hall as more of her cast mates started coming in. "I just haven't had much of an appetite," she admitted and leaned against the wall across from the tournament wall. "I should be concentrating on this," she motioned to the wall, "instead I have all these questions and there's only one person who can answer them." She ran her hands roughly through her hair. "Sometimes," she sighed. "Sometimes I wish I didn't go home." She chuckled. "She was right!"

"What do you mean?" Gilbert questioned.

"I have no idea what's going on at home," Carmilla confided. "But, basically, I think, all the people helping my girlfriend brought me home despite her wishes. She knew this would happen. She knew I'd drive myself crazy trying to figure out what the hell is going on." She caught her coach regarding her. "What?"

"Would it help if you could talk to her?" he whispered.

"I couldn't…"

"No," he interrupted. "You're my last hope at a win, if it'll help you focus, I'll see what I can do." He squeezed her arm a moment. "Go get something to eat," she raised her eyebrow. "Fine, at least a protein drink."

"Thanks, Gilbert," she said with a smile and gave him a quick hug. She made her way to the kitchen and found her friends, Bec and Angela, hanging out. "Hey guys," she greeted as she grabbed a protein drink from the fridge. She felt dizzy as she stood so went back into the fridge and grabbed an apple. When she turned to her friends she noticed the two wearing an odd look. "What?" she asked and then took a large bite of her apple.

"Um," Angela stuttered as she looked to Bec for support.

"Weigh-ins tomorrow?" Bec prompted as Carmilla shook her protein shake, opened it and gulped down half it.

"I'm under," she supplied and took another bite of apple, the slight headache she had from her sugar dropping already starting to recede. "Like, one fourteen with clothes on, under," she added to their skeptical looks.

"Okay," Angela laughed, "I officially hate you!" she joked.

"Don't," Carmilla countered with a smile, "I haven't had much of an appetite since I got back."

"How you holding up?" Bec questioned, growing serious as she placed a hand on her arm.

"Honestly?" Carmilla sighed. "I don't know," she admitted, looked at her apple a moment, took a bite and leaned against the counter. "The only thing I know for sure is that I love her."

"That's something," Angela said as she bumped her shoulder with her own.

"I hope it's enough," Carmilla replied sadly. "It's just," she sighed, "I can't help but think either she doesn't know me very well or she does and whatever it is she's hiding?" She looked down as she felt tears stinging her eyes. "Maybe it is bad. Maybe it's so big that she has a right to be scared I'll leave."

"Then you prove her wrong," Bec offered. "Hear her out." Carmilla looked up and met her eyes. "From everything you've told us, she loves you."

"So?"

"So," Bec smiled, "whatever she's doing must be important enough to her to risk everything." Bec moved in front of her and took her arms in her hands. "Important enough to risk losing you."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," she admitted.

"It wasn't meant to," Bec answered. "Just trying to give you a little perspective."

One of the crew stuck his head in the door and announced; "Fight starts in ten."

Carmilla followed her friends back into the gym, finishing her apple on the way and dropping the core in the garbage. The first fight of the afternoon, Jessica Penne versus Aisling Daly, held little interest for her. If she ended up fighting either of them it wouldn't be until the finals. Add into the mix that the winner would be facing with Tecia or Carla had Carmilla doubting that either of them would be making it that far. Still, she liked Aisling on a personal level and as she watched her make her way to the cage, she hoped she'd do well.

Aisling put up a good fight, even if she looked exhausted by the end and apparently she thought she'd down enough to win as she lifted her arms in victory when the bell sounded. Or maybe she was happy to have survived fifteen minutes. No one was overly surprised though, when the unanimous decision went Jessica's way.

Carmilla went to take another sip of her protein shake when she realised it was empty and decided to spend the time between the fights going to get another. She still wasn't hungry but she'd noticed Joanne eyeing her first drink so thought a second one might really get under her skin. She'd just exited the kitchen when Dana got her attention and called her over.

"You can have ten minutes after the fight," he informed her in an undertone. "Only…"

"Don't tell anyone?" she supplied with a smile. He nodded. "My lips are sealed," she offered with a wink and then made her way back to the gym. As excited as she was to talk to Laura, she couldn't help but wonder why Dana was allowing it. Could it be as simple as wanting her to be able to focus? Or was it a result of the meeting Laura supposedly had with Dana after her Invicta fight?

"What are your grinning about?" Bec questioned as she took her seat between her and Angela.

"Looking forward to seeing my next opponent?" Carmilla offered as she shook her protein drink and catching Joanne's eye as she opened it, took a big gulp.

Fortunately, Bec let it lie as Randa made her way into the gym. The weigh-ins the day before had been intense and a little funny; Felice had blown a bubble with her bubble gum in Randa's face. Randa, not one to be intimated, slapped the bubble from her mouth. She might not like Randa much, but she appreciated her guts. Aside from getting a look at her next opponent, she was looking forward to the fight for another reason; as a fight fan it promised to be entertaining.

Like Randa, Carmilla didn't much care for Felice either, but it was interesting match up. In one corner was Felice; experienced and overconfident that she'd win the fight. In the other corner was Randa, the fighter no one expected to make it past the first round. What she lacked in experience though, she more than made up for with a desire to prove her first win wasn't a fluke. Where Felice's overconfidence and belief that she couldn't lose was a disadvantage and Randa might be the only person who believed she could win, if she was smart, Randa would use it to her advantage. Many fighters relished the underdog role, the pressure, of course, on the favorite to justify that title.

The fight went, pretty much, the way she expected. Felice came out all aggression, the two feeling each other out in the middle of the cage before locking up and ending up against the fence. Randa tried, and failed, on her first takedown attempt but she was patient and ended up throwing the blonde to the ground with a weird headlock looking thing and then trapping Felice's arm in an awkward looking arm-bar. It wasn't pretty but it was the kind of win Randa needed.

The two made their way from the cage, the rest of them going to follow them out, when Carmilla noticed Randa and Carla exchanging insults. "No time like the present to get into both of their heads," Carmilla thought as she walked over to put her two cents in. "Hey dipshit!" she jibbed to get Randa's attention. "Gotta get past me or Joanne first," she pointed out, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'd rather fight you," Randa replied tersely, considered her next words and then added wryly; "but I've got a feeling I'll be fighting Joanne."

"Yeah," Carmilla laughed, "and if she gets past me I suspect she'll kick your ass," she jeered, getting a little closer. "Cause I can kick your ass blindfolded with one arm tied behind my back," she threatened.

Randa was still struggling with a comeback when she felt a hand on her arm.

"Dana wants to talk to you," Gilbert informed her.

She nodded and went to follow him, Randa calling after her; "This isn't over Karnstein!"

"Yeah it is," she thought as she found Dana waiting outside his office; she didn't only get in Joanne's head today but Randa's as well. He opened the door for her, ushered her in and pointed to the couch, a laptop open on the coffee table in front of it.

"This is the last time," he informed her as he connected to Laura. "Unless something else happens in Vancouver," he amended as he turned the laptop, Laura's smiling and concerned face already on the screen.

"Thanks," she smiled and then watched as he left. She turned back to the laptop, pulled it onto her lap and then sat back on the couch. "Hey," she greeted.

"Hey," Laura replied with a soft and nervous chuckle.

"How are you doing?" Carmilla queried as she studied her for signs of stress.

"I miss you," Laura replied.

"I miss you too, Pup," Carmilla replied as she reached out to stroke Laura's face on the screen. "So. Damned. Much," she asserted.

"So what's up?" Laura asked as the silence stretched.

"Did you get my message about Nancy?"

"We were already looking for her," Laura supplied. "At this point, we think she had something to do with the plane but not Will's escape."

"Have you found her?" Laura shook her head. "There's something else; in my room at the estate, in the closet, is a hidden door." Laura looked interested so Carmilla assumed they hadn't found it when the police conducted their search. "It leads to a room," she smiled, "inside that room, provided Deanna never found it, is physical evidence of some of the stuff in my journals."

"You left it behind?!" Laura blurted.

"I planned our escape for almost a year," Carmilla confided, "but I was worried she'd find it."

"So you hid it under her nose?"

"I hid it in the one place she wouldn't think to look," Carmilla amended. "My Dad was obsessed with hidden passageways and rooms; I doubt Deanna found a third of them."

"Wait!" Laura exclaimed. "That's what those numbers mean, in your journal."

"I researched police evidence procedure," Carmilla replied with a nod. "Every single item is sealed in a zip locked bag, dated and numbered. You'll know right away if anything is missing."

"How can you be so sure she didn't know about it?"

"Because I used to hide there for days at a time," Carmilla answered. "From there I could make it to a bathroom and the kitchen, all without being seen." She shook her head. "You know, sometimes I wonder if my Dad didn't know more than he let on." She frowned slightly as Laura got that familiar look of guilt on her face. "Can I ask you something?" Laura looked up and nodded, worry and a bit of fear now gracing her features. "Will you answer me?"

"If I can."

"If you…" Carmilla sighed. "Fine." She ran through the multitude of questions she had and decided to start at the beginning. "Did you know about the El thing before you came to the gym and did you use it to get close to me?"

"I did know about El," Laura admitted carefully. "But Carm, I promise it wasn't because I thought I could use it to my advantage."

"No?" she questioned dubiously. "Then why?" she asked when Laura shook her head.

"Because I was worried about you," Laura provided but seemed to realize it needed more of an explanation. "I got into contact with Dark shortly after Bob's death…"

"Because you needed someone to keeps tabs on me?" she interrupted hotly.

"Well, yes, but…" Laura rushed, "after your disqualification, sickness…"

"Sickness?"

"You didn't figure it out?" Laura asked, trying to tease her but continuing when she saw that Carmilla wasn't in the mood. "You weren't flagged for drugs. They did find an anomaly but…"

"I was infected with the parasite?" Laura nodded. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"We couldn't take the risk that Deanna would find out we have both a vaccine and a cure," Laura provided to her surprise.

"We do?"

"Laf was the one who cured Dark."

"But surely Deanna would've figured something out when I didn't get that sick."

"Not if it wasn't Deanna," Laura countered. "The point is, Kitten," Laura paused as the endearment caused her to smile despite herself, "that after Bob's death, Dark was already worried about you. I was worried about you." She looked down a moment and studied her hands. "It wasn't the plan," she confided and grew quiet.

"Plan?"

"I was supposed to fight on the same card as you and Danny," she admitted. "I was planning to run into you after the fights and ask if I could train with you."

"Exactly how were you going to explain suddenly being old enough to fight professionally and fighting on the same card?" Carmilla asked despite herself. "I mean after your plan changed?"

"The fight part we were going to explain as a last minute replacement," Laura began, "The rest," she shrugged, "I hadn't gotten that far, to be honest, but I was going to tell you the day we went to Buntzen, or at least, tell you I was twenty-one, fighting and on the show with you."

"But it all went out the window when you broke your arm?" she guessed and received Laura's nod. "Why did you run after me anyway?"

"I saw Bruce…"

"You knew he was following us?" she interrupted with an edge to her voice for the first time.

"I did," Laura affirmed. "Anyway, I saw him just as we started the trail. I don't know the area very well, when you didn't come back right away, I thought he got ahead of us and hurt you."

Carmilla was stunned; she hadn't expected Laura to be so forthcoming and decided to press her advantage. "When did you know Will was El?"

"I suspected someone was leaking information so Laf helped me install spyware on all the gym's computers," Laura replied quietly. "A couple days after Will 'got home' I got into his Facebook. There was more than his conversation with you, a rather intense one between him and Deanna. I guess she took over messaging you for awhile and he wasn't happy about it."

They regarded each other a moment until Carmilla finally, with a glance at the time, broke the silence; "Did Ethan give you the other part of the message?"

"You're really not angry?" Laura asked hopefully.

"Maybe a little," she admitted. "You know how I feel about being manipulated…"

"But I…"

"You did, Laura, whether you intended to or not," Carmilla cut her off evenly. "You still are; telling me just enough to set my mind at ease but not everything." She shook her head and rubbed her face. "I get it, Laura, I do. You're worried Deanna will find out what's going on before it's too late, but I still feel manipulated, even if it was with best intentions, you know how I feel about it and you did it anyway."

"I was trying to protect you," Laura countered. "I was trying to help you focus."

"I know," Carmilla admitted. "But Laura? I can't help but wonder whether you don't know me very well if you think I'd give up on the best thing that ever happened to me so easily or that you do and know, whatever it is your hiding really is so big, so terrible, that you have reason to be afraid I'll leave." She let that sink in a moment. "I don't know which scares me more," she looked down as she tried to stem her tears.

"Carm?" Laura said. "Kitten?" she tried, smiling when Carmilla looked up. "Do you know why I got my tattoo? Why I suggested it?"

"You could always get it removed or tattooed over," she pointed out.

"True," Laura conceded, "but I'd always have a scar if I got it removed or I'd always know the real tattoo was underneath." She smiled as she looked down and rubbed her thumb over the tattoo on her wrist. "I hoped it would be proof of how I feel about you," she said when she looked up again. "And, if not, I could always look at it and remember the best time in my life."

"Was getting involved with me part of the plan?"

"No," Laura replied. "But that day, at the lake, when I saw that look on your face, your fear, your love," she smiled. "I figured if I was going to risk you hating me someday, that the least I could do was try to make you happy for awhile."

"I don't know what you expect me to say," Carmilla admitted when the silence stretched.

"I don't expect you to say anything, Carm, I love you, I hope you believe that," Laura pleaded.

"I'm trying to," she offered and then added as Laura's face fell; "All I know for sure is that, despite my confusion, my anger, I still love you."

"Carm? If you let me, I promise I'll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you and making up for everything," she said fiercely.

"Deal," Carmilla stated with a smile.

"Really?" Laura asked, somewhat shocked.

"I can't make any promises until I know the whole truth," she smiled despite Laura's sadness, "but I'm not about to walk away from the best thing to ever happen to me without a very good reason." She looked at the door when someone knocked and then noted the time. "I'm sorry, Pup, I've got to go."

"I love you, Carm," Laura rushed out. "Good luck on Friday."

"Thanks, Pup, I love you too," Carmilla answered, closed the laptop and set it aside.

She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her forehead on them; did she feel any better for talking to Laura? Yes and no. She still had questions and doubts, that much wouldn't change until she was home and Laura could answer them and sooth them. But she had answered a few. Enough to set her mind at ease for the moment.

Carmilla looked up and rubbed her face; "Nine more sleeps," she thought and smiled. She'd have her answers soon. She could put them aside, for now, and concentrate on why she was there. She couldn't do anything about anything happening at home. All she could do was focus on the task at hand; winning the Ultimate Fighter. If nothing else, if she lost Laura, at least she'd have that.


	15. Simple Moments

Then

(Six Weeks Ago)

_Laura leaned over the pool table to line up her shot when she felt Carmilla draw close behind her and place her hands on her hips. She melded her body to her back and whispered into her ear; "I think I like you in this position," she drawled, causing Laura to tremble slightly. "Well, go on Cupcake, make the shot," she taunted._

_"You're not playing fair," Laura pointed out, her voice hitching slightly as she tried to keep it even._

_"That's why it's called 'Dirty Pool'," Carmilla informed her as she stepped back and slapped her ass lightly before going to stand across from her. Laura looked up and met her eyes as Carmilla undid the first few buttons of her shirt._

_Laura shook her head, looked back to the table and was about to take her shot when she heard a noise behind her. She pivoted quickly, her pool cue held like a weapon in front her._

_"Daddy?" Carmilla gasped._

_"Hi Millie," he greeted and then looked to Laura. "What? No gun this time?" he taunted as he pointed to the pool cue. Laura swore under her breath; why couldn't he leave her out of it?_

_"You knew about this?" Carmilla hissed as she came around the table. Laura nodded and looked down. "How long?" she pushed. When Laura didn't reply Carmilla took her roughly by the arm. "Answer me!" she demanded._

_"He came to warn me about the Jeep," Laura provided. "I heard a noise, grabbed one of the hidden guns and found him in the kitchen," she finished as she finally met Carmilla's eyes. "Carm, I…"_

_"Save it!" Carmilla spat and walked away. "You had no right to keep this from me!"_

_"I know," Laura sighed._

_"Then why did you?" she questioned, some of her anger seeming to fade._

_"Because he's our ace in the hole and he's no good to us," she paused as Carmilla raised her eyebrow. "No good to you," she amended, "if he's dead."_

_"And because I asked her not to tell you," Bill offered._

_"We still don't know who is leaking information," Laura all but pleaded as Carmilla walked away, running her hands roughly through her hair._

_"Leave!" Carmilla hissed at her._

_"Carm, wait…"_

_"No!" she interrupted. "If you lied about this, what else have you lied about?" She came to stand in front of her. "You know how I feel about honesty and you still lied to me," she said her voice low with rage. "Go, don't come back."_

"Laura," Carmilla cooed, "hey, hey, wake up baby, you're dreaming."

"Carm?" Laura managed as she pulled herself from her nightmare, the look of anger on her face still fresh in her mind as slowly she accepted the look of concern on the real Carmilla's face. She buried her head into the brunette's shoulder as the tears came. Carmilla wrapped her arms around her and rubbed her back. Gradually Laura started to relax, the safety and strength of Carmilla's arms chasing the fear away, again. Or, at least, for the time-being.

"Hey," Carmilla cooed as she pulled away enough to tilt her chin up, "want to talk about it?"

"No," Laura thought and tucked her head back into Carmilla's shoulder. There were only a few things that scared her more than Carmilla finding out the truth from someone other than her and then leaving her because of it. What if, like with the Jeep, she missed something and Carmilla died because of it? Or what if Deanna somehow got to her? Killed her and left Carmilla to fend for herself? She'd already tried to kill Dark, what was to stop Deanna from going after her? And what would happen to Carmilla without her?

"C'mon Pup, talk to me," Carmilla prodded.

Laura rolled to her back and wiped the tears from her face; would she ever stop being afraid of losing her? "We were having an argument and you told me to leave and not come back."

"Laura?" Carmilla said, pain in her voice as she took her by the chin and turned her towards her. "Promises aside, that's never going to happen."

"No?"

"No," she replied firmly. "I know I said, the last time we were up here, that maybe the fact that we're both afraid of losing each other is a good thing," she kissed her softly. "But at some point we need to accept that this is forever." She kissed her forehead. "I have been fighting all my life," she smiled as she ran her thumb over Laura's forehead, trying to erase the frown that was there. "This fight, the one to keep you?" She kissed her again. "It's not one I ever intend to lose."

"Yeah?" Laura said hopefully.

"I love you Laura," she chuckled. "I thought, before, that I had been in love, but no one, _no one_ , comes close to how I feel about you."

"Maybe," Laura started as she turned to her side to face her, "after everyone leaves tomorrow, we can try to put all this aside?" She ran her fingertips down the front of Carmilla's neck. "No fight talk. No stepmother from hell talk. Just you and me, maybe talking about what comes next?"

"Speaking of which," Carmilla said with a grin, kissed her briefly and then rolled out of bed. She went to grab her backpack, came back to bed, and then looked through her bag a moment. "I was thinking," she said as she pulled two extendable leashes and two small harnesses from her bag, "that we pick up the kittens when we drive everyone out tomorrow."

"Aren't you worried about them getting out and getting lost?" Laura asked as she sat up.

"Bengals are known to take well to a harness and leash," she smiled, "I thought it'd be easier to get them used to them up here where it's quieter. Also," she sighed, "I was thinking it be nice to spend more than a couple of days with them before I leave," she sniffed.

"Carm?"

"I just remembered something," she said quietly, tears now running down her face. "I had a pet rat," she shook her head. "I had a friend who had a snake. He kept a pair of rats to breed and fed the babies to the snake. But his snake got sick and this one little guy, he got too big for him to eat. My friend, the same guy who bred the rats only to feed his snake, couldn't bring himself to hurt this baby rat. I took him home, raised him, took him with me everywhere." She put the leashes and harnesses back in her bag, put the bag beside the bed and then laid down on her side to face her. "It might sound weird, but he even used to sleep with me," she indicated a spot between her neck and the bed, "right here." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I woke up one day and he was gone," she shook her head. "I always thought he just ran away but I remember now, it was her. She did it." Although her eyes were still closed, Laura could tell she was seeing the memory as if it were happening all over again, her eyes moving rapidly beneath her lids. She took her hand, laced their fingers and squeezed, trying to lend her some courage to get through her story. "It was a few days later when Deanna called me to her office," she chuckled but there was no humor in it. "I hated that room. My heart would start racing just walking down the hall towards it." Laura put her free hand over Carmilla's heart and could feel it's quick and steady thump over her palm. "I walked in and she had him set up for dissection, like in a high school biology class." Laura fought a shudder at the mental image. "She picked up a scalpel and said to me; 'It's time you see what happens to dirty things in my home'. She sliced him open," she took a deep breath, "it wasn't until she took out his heart that I realized he was still alive, it was still beating," she took a deep breath, "and then she squeezed it until it popped."

Laura didn't know what to say and so pulled her into her arms to comfort Carmilla the same way she had just comforted her. But Laura was almost as frightened as Carmilla was; once she finished reading her journals and found no mention of what Betty had overheard, she'd started to suspect that there were things Carmilla didn't remember. It wasn't that she didn't want her girlfriend to remember, but she was afraid what kind of toll it would take once she did. Laura did, however, have to know if she'd remembered anything else.

"How old were you?" she asked when she felt Carmilla start to relax in her arms.

"It was before I broke my arm," Carmilla replied thoughtfully as she pulled herself from Laura's arms to lie on her back. "So maybe, I don't know, maybe thirteen or fourteen?"

"Have you remembered anything else?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"I'm surprised you never asked before," Carmilla teased.

"What are you talking about?" Laura asked, feigning confusion to cover her panic; what had Carmilla figured out?

"You finished reading my journals?" Laura nodded. "You never wondered why my handwriting changes?" Laura had but had assumed it was due to the nature of what she was writing; the messier the handwriting, the more disturbing the passage. "I find writing it down helps me, I don't know, come to terms with it." She sat up, retrieved her bag from the side of the bed and then a journal and pen from inside. "Give me a little bit?"

Laura sat up and kissed her cheek.

"You going to be okay?" Carmilla nodded. "Okay, I'm going to go for a run. Meet me at the beach when you're ready?"

"You don't have to leave altogether," Carmilla joked as Laura got out of bed.

"You're not the only one who needs to clear their head," Laura supplied as she gathered her bikini, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

"But I was going to make everyone breakfast," Carmilla countered as she watched her get dressed.

Laura had already slipped on her bikini and shorts on before going to sit beside Carmilla on the bed. "I'm not used to being around this many people for such an extended period of time." She took Carmilla's hand. "Bring me breakfast at the beach?"

"Are you okay?" Carmilla queried as she stroked her cheek with her free hand.

"I will be," she turned and kissed the hand by her face. "See you in an hour or so?"

"Maybe a little longer," Carmilla replied. "By the time I finish this and make breakfast, maybe, more like two hours?" she clarified, kissed her softly, and laid their foreheads together. "I love you."

"I love you too Kitten," Laura replied with a smile. "See you soon?"

She stood after Carmilla nodded and kissed her again. Every time she left her side it was like a small death; how the hell was she going to survive six weeks without her? She slipped her shirt on over her head as she made her way to the nearest bathroom to freshen up before heading out. It was early yet and the other occupants of the house were only starting to stir. She was thinking she might be able to make a clean get away but as she descended the stairs she saw her father in the kitchen making breakfast.

"You're up early," he commented as she went to retrieve her phone from the charger and then put on her running shoes and tied them. Laura had been avoiding him ever since the meeting with Bill, she wasn't sure she was in the mood to talk to him now. She went to the fridge to grab one of the pre-made protein drinks without replying. "So it's the silent treatment then?"

"You don't want to hear what I have to say," she replied in an undertone.

"You think I'm a coward for not doing more?" he replied, equally as quiet.

She looked around the cabin and motioned him outside with her head. They walked down to the start of the longer path to the beach and turned to face each other.

"What would you have had me do?" he asked, his voice only a bit louder than when they were in the kitchen. "Risk your safety? Your mother's?"

"And yet you went running when Carmen needed your help," Laura countered. "So many things you could have done differently and didn't. So many times you, Frank," she lowered her voice, "Bill fucking Karnstein," she shook her head. "The two of you, you and Bill, you're two of a kind."

"How dare you!"

"How dare I?" she spat back. "How dare you! You put our lives in the danger the second you decided to keep watch over them. You should have warned me about this…"

"Would you have done things differently?" he interjected.

"I don't know," she sighed, the anger at her father fading only slightly. "Maybe I'd have told her the truth," she shrugged. "Guess we'll never know, you didn't give me that option." She ran her free hand through her hair and looked up at the cabin. "She's been remembering stuff," she shook her head, "I'm worried, Daddy, if she starts remembering during the show…"

"What has she remembered?" he interrupted.

She thought over Carmilla's journals; "Lots of little things," she provided. "She had one this morning and she pointed out how her handwriting sometimes changes. Nothing in her journal," she shook her head, "she doesn't remember yet."

"You think Deanna was drugging her like she did Will?"

"I know she was. Elsie found the same markers we found in Will's blood only we didn't know what it meant at the time," she supplied as she looked at her watch. "It would explain why she doesn't remember any of it and why it's starting to surface now; her brain, her body, is finally recovering." She opened her protein shake and took a sip. "I'm going for a run, text me when she heads towards the beach?" He nodded. "And I don't want to talk about this again until after she's left. Got it?"

"Fine," he sighed and walked back towards the cabin.

She watched him a moment, shook her head, and then started down the path. Despite all the things her father could have done the fact remained, if he had, she probably wouldn't be with Carmilla now. Would she have done things differently had she known the truth? Probably. She finished her drink and considered tossing her empty bottle but set it next to the path, vowing to pick it up on her way back. She made her way to the clearing where she and Danny had talked, gathering an armful of long branches as she went. They were planning a bonfire for later that day so they needed kindling and Laura needed to blow off more steam than a run would offer. She figured, if the noise drew anyone's attention she'd say it was a fun way to make kindling.

Laura dropped the branches near the edge of the clearing, grabbed the first branch and then lined up in front of a good sized tree. She positioned herself as if she were lining up to the plate, gripped the branch like a baseball bat and swung at the tree with all her strength. The branch broke in several pieces, which she gathered while she flexed the stiffness out of her left wrist, and then picked up the next.

She was nearing the end of the pile when she heard movement behind her. She pretended not to notice as she picked up the next branch, straightened up and then spun to the direction she'd heard the noise, the branch held much the same way she'd been holding the pool cue in her dream.

"What do you want?" she questioned, the second to last person she wanted to deal with, Bill, stood with his hands raised.

"You were right," he admitted and sat on one of the benches. "I am a coward."

"No shit," she mocked. "The question is, what are you so fucking scared of? Deanna?" She scoffed. "I don't buy it."

"I'm afraid of the same thing you are, Miss Hollis, that my daughter will hate me when she finds out the truth," he confided, his voice choked with emotion. "That, after all I've done, despite my cowardice, that she'll never want to see me again."

"You are not the victim here," she hissed. "You have no idea, NO IDEA! What she has been through. You don't deserve to be a part of her life."

"And you do?" he countered angrily.

"I might be lying to her," Laura said, her voice even despite her anger, "and I'm definitely not telling her things she should know but…" she shook her head. "I might be the first person, the only person, to be putting her needs ahead of my own. I want her to succeed. I want her to be free of this. I want her to have the life she deserves. If, in the end, she hates me for it, so be it. I can accept that so long as she's finally free."

"You don't think I want that too?"

"And what have you done, exactly, aside from keeping yourself alive and hidden, have you done for her?" she accused, the older man no longer able to hold her gaze.

"I hired your father," he said finally. "I agreed to including you," he said and looked up. "You've accomplished more in the last couple of months than he has in the last four years." He stood. "At least I did one thing right."

"I'm telling her everything when she gets home," she informed him. "Including you," she pointed the stick at him. "I suggest you rethink your excuses," she swung the branch at the tree. "You think your eye hurts now?" she joked, his left eye was almost swollen shut. "You think I've been hard on you?" She laughed as she collected the branches and dropped them on the pile. "You'll be lucky to still be walking when she's done with you."

"And I accept that," he said sadly. "Look, I've been thinking about what you said."

"And what does that mean exactly?"

"It means I'll meet you in Vancouver when you get back," he offered. "Tell her everything. Tell her it was my idea not to say anything about me."

She studied him a moment and then replied; "Don't expect me to thank you for finally doing the right thing."

"Fair enough."

"And I want you to go stay with Kenny until we leave next week," she held her hand up to stall his interruption. "No!" she said firmly. "I want you no where near this place so I can enjoy some time alone with your daughter without worrying you'll see something you might not want to, or Hogwarts forbid, she sees you."

"I thought you wanted her to know?"

"I do," she answered. "But a week before she leaves for the Ultimate Fighter is not the time to open that can of worms."

"Point taken," he nodded. "I'll leave in the morning." He seemed to consider his next question. "How is she?"

"She's starting to remember," she sighed. "My friend, Laf, is here, they want to take some blood samples. See what it looks like a decade after being infected and whether or not you have the same drug markers Will had."

"You think, after all this time, anything would show up?"

"It's worth checking," she looked at her watch. "I have a call to make, Laf will be by sometime this afternoon." She didn't wait for a reply but turned and headed down the path to the beach.

Laura took her phone from her pocket as she reached the beach. She sat in the sun and lifted her face to it's rays. She hated to admit it, but in a way, she was looking forward to Carmilla leaving. No more hiding. No more lying. She could do what needed to be done. Let the chips fall where they may when Carmilla came home and she told her the truth.

She looked down at her phone and dialed her friend, Doctor Ann Spielsdorf, to get an update on Will.

"'morning kiddo," Ann greeted. "How you holding up?"

"That's a…" she sighed, "complicated question."

"Laura? You okay?" Ann prodded.

"Not really," she admitted. "But I don't want to talk about it. How's Will?"

"You were right."

"He is faking it?"

"Once he was clean of the drugs in his system we started him on meds for his DID," Ann provided.

"And he's getting better?" Laura guessed with a smile. "You gave him a placebo, didn't you?"

"We did," Laura could hear the smile on her face. "Sometimes I think you picked the wrong profession."

"Helps a lot in my current profession," Laura countered. "So what's next?"

"He still maintains that Carmilla's injuries were either inflicted in self-defense or self-inflicted," she replied carefully.

"The scars she has…" Laura sighed. "There's no way she could do that to herself and they're not typical of something done in self-defense."

"Laura I know, but he's convincing…"

"Convincing enough to cast doubt on Carmilla's testimony?" Laura interjected.

"I don't know," she admitted. "Maybe?"

"She wears the proof on her back," Laura said pensively. "We just need an expert to corroborate her story." She looked across the lake as her phone beeped indicating she had a text message. "Look, Ann, do me a favor?"

"Find you an expert?"

"Yes," Laura laughed, "Okay two favors, that and look into your staff, especially anyone hired in the last few months."

"What? Why?"

"Has Deanna been pushing to see him or get him out?" Laura questioned.

"No."

"Maybe because he's right where she wants him," Laura replied. "And maybe because she already knows what's going on." Laura noticed a row boat leaving the shore near the cabin. "I have to go."

"I'll look into it," Ann answered. "Look, Laura, if you need to talk…"

"I know where you are," Laura finished for her. "Thanks, Ann, take care."

She cleared her call log, slipped her phone back into her pocket and then stood and started stretching while she waited for Carmilla to make her way to her.

"Hey you," Carmilla greeted as she drew near. "I thought we could have breakfast while we catch dinner."

Laura waded out to her, smiling as Carmilla extended her hand to help her into the boat.

"Good run?" Carmilla asked as Laura settled herself onto the cushions; it wasn't just a rowboat.

"This is nice," Laura commented as Carmilla rowed them away from the shore.

"Dark and I fixed it up last summer, with a little help from Kenny," she confided. "Kenny sanded it down, fixed the holes and put a coat of paint on it." She smiled as she rested the oars on the side of the boat, the two coming to settle near the middle of the lake. "We added another coat of paint and the cushions."

"Sounds like Kenny gave you more than 'a little help'," Laura remarked, wondering if maybe Bill had something to do with it.

"He actually surprised me with it when we came up last Spring," Carmilla clarified as she took their breakfasts from the combination warmer/cooler behind her. "Breakfast Burrito?" she said as she offered her a tin foil wrapped Burrito.

"Thanks," Laura replied as she took it and opened it. "Do we have any…"

"Sour cream and salsa?" Carmilla finished for her as she offered her small containers of each. Carmilla set her own Burrito aside, reached for and opened a tackle box at her feet and took out two hooks and two boppers. Laura set about adding salsa and sour cream to her Burrito and by the time she looked back to Carmilla she was already putting a worm on the hook. "Do you fish?"

"A few times, when I was younger," she replied around a mouthful of food.

"Think you can handle a rod?" Carmilla asked and reached for a second fishing pole when she nodded. "So…" she started thoughtfully as first she tied the bopper to the line and then the hook; "any idea what all that noise was a little while ago?"

"I was gathering some kindling for the fire tonight?" Laura offered. "There's a pile of it in the clearing where you found me and Danny the other day."

"Gathering kindling?" Carmilla asked skeptically.

"I might have had a little steam to blow off after a chat with my Dad on the way out," Laura supplied and hoped Carmilla would let it drop. She could tell by the look on her face though, she expected more of an explanation. "I might have collected a bunch of longer branches and then broke them against a tree."

"How's your wrist feeling?" Carmilla asked, wrong footing her slightly.

"I started using just my right after the first few," Laura replied.

"Can you grab the first aid kit from under your cushion?" Carmilla asked as she finished setting up the second fishing rod.

"Sure," Laura replied as she set her burrito aside to grab the kit; "But, um, why?"

"'Cause you should probably wrap your wrist before you try fishing and I want to use the hand sanitizer once I'm done baiting the hook so I can eat," she supplied as she finished threading a worm onto the second hook.

"You're not going to cast right away?" Laura asked as she watched Carmilla rinse her hands off in the lake and then dried them on her shorts before holding them out for Laura to squeeze some sanitizer into them.

"Not if I want to eat my breakfast before it gets cold," Carmilla joked as she unwrapped her own burrito. "The fishing is pretty good here so it doesn't take long to get a bite."

"It's really nice out here," Laura commented as Carmilla sat beside her to eat. "So peaceful."

"Here's an idea," Carmilla started around the food in her mouth; "Why don't we pack a dinner and breakfast and spend the night out here tomorrow?"

"You think it'd be a good idea to leave the kittens alone in the cabin all night?"

"We could pick them up Sunday morning or ask Steven and Betty to grab them on their way back in," she suggested.

"We could do that," Laura replied with a smile. "I, uh, was thinking about the scars on your back," Laura continued carefully.

"What about them?" Carmilla asked neutrally.

"We need a way to show how many of them there are," Laura started.

"They're pretty noticeable if I get even the slightest sunburn," Carmilla suggested.

"I was thinking of something a little less painful and could lead to something a little more interesting," Laura started. "I brought a bunch of different colored markers, in a variety of widths, I thought, maybe, I could trace each one in a different color, depending on their depth and width, and then take a picture after each new color is added."

"Sounds like it might take a while."

"Which is why I wanted to wait until everyone was gone so we won't be interrupted," Laura supplied. "It's just…" she sighed, she couldn't confide what Ann had shared. "I'm worried Deanna will try to say they're self-inflicted."

"What? Like Helena from 'Orphan Black' or something?"

"I know it seems ridiculous but if we can find an expert who will confirm that they're not typical of injuries received out of self-defense or self-inflicted, we'll be able to shut down any doubt before it has a chance to take root." Laura smiled as she considered another reason her idea could appeal to Carmilla. "And we could send a set to our tattoo artist as well so she has a better idea of what she has to work with when you're ready to get your back piece done."

"She's already seen it and has pictures," Carmilla countered and smiled. "But I suppose reference pictures might be useful to her." Laura finished her breakfast, balled up the tin foil and reached for an elastic bandage to wrap her wrist.

"Want some help?" Carmilla offered as she watched.

"Naw, I got it," Laura replied with a small smile, "finish your breakfast."

When she finished wrapping her wrist she noticed Carmilla staring at her pensively.

"What?"

"Just wondering how you got so good at that," she replied as she pointed to her newly wrapped wrist as she attached the fasteners to secure it.

"It's, um, not the first time I've broken an arm," Laura admitted; with so much that she was still hiding from her beloved perhaps it was time to start sharing what she could.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I like you taking care of me?" Laura offered.

"Yeah, but you didn't have to lie for me to take care of you," Carmilla pointed out.

"I know," Laura replied with a small smile, "but maybe I was a little embarrassed by how I broke it."

"More embarrassing than your attempted kindergarten revolt against 'Princess Culture'?" Carmilla joked.

"How did…" Laura sputtered.

"Your dad might have shared some childhood stories," Carmilla teased. "So how'd you break your arm?"

"I had a hairline fracture in my right arm when I was ten," Laura confided and sighed. "My parents were having some friends over for New Year's Eve. Me and the son of one of my Dad's friends were having a pillow fight, he hit me straight on," she demonstrated how the pillow had hit her, "I dropped to the bed and started wailing in pain." She shook her head. "My parents didn't think it could be anything worse than a sprain, I mean, it _was_ a pillow fight, but they took me to the hospital a few days later when it wasn't getting any better and found the fracture. Ended up with a cast almost as big as the one I had on my left."

"I'm starting to think I don't know much about you," Carmilla commented contemplatively.

"Talk about understatement of the century," Laura thought sadly.

"It's not surprising, really," Carmilla continued. "I mean we went from sparring partners to friends to girlfriends in the space of what? A month?"

"True," Laura smiled. "Maybe that's something we should concentrate on until we head back to Vancouver? You know, getting to know each other a little better?"

"That sounds like an idea," Carmilla replied as she balled up the tinfoil from her breakfast. "Ready to start fishing?" Laura nodded. "Can you cast?"

"I haven't done it years and I wasn't very good to begin with," Laura provided honestly.

"Alright," Carmilla kissed her cheek and then gracefully cast her line for her, handed her the rod and cast her own on the opposite side of the boat.

Before the two could even settle in to wait Laura's bopper sunk below the surface of the water.

"Shit, I think I have a bite!" Laura exclaimed.

"Okay, wait till it goes under again and then give it good tug to set the hook," Carmilla instructed and then noticed her own line go taunt. "Okay, here we go…" Carmilla laughed as she gave her rod a sharp tug towards her. "Do what I do, got it?" Laura nodded and then watched as Carmilla leaned back and then forward again, quickly reeling in the slack as she did. "You good?" she questioned and then watched as Laura mirrored her actions. "Yeah, you got it."

They didn't have much time to talk for the next hour as they caught fish after fish almost as soon as their lines landed in the water. Each time they caught a fish bigger than the smallest they already caught they'd let the smaller fish go and then attach the bigger fish to the stringer Carmilla had over the side of the boat.

"Looks like we have enough for everyone," Laura commented as Carmilla attached their latest catch.

"One more," Carmilla replied as she reset her hook and then cast again. "Dark and I were fishing last summer and one particular little bastard made me lose my Mom's engagement ring."

"You had it?"

"Frank gave it to me on my twenty-first birthday," she smiled but there was sadness in her eyes. "Along with a letter from Dad," she shook her head. "It had been passed down through his family, always to the eldest son until me." Laura wondered if Bill had given it her because Will wasn't his son. "The letter said I should hang onto it until I find a girl who it fits," she chuckled. "I didn't even know I liked girls yet and somehow he figured it out."

"But you weren't even eleven when he died," Laura pointed out.

"Exactly, I have no idea how he knew," Carmilla shrugged but Laura was pretty sure he hadn't, that it was something he had set up a little more recently. "Anyway, we were about to head back in when I got a big hit on my line. I had the ring on a necklace and my rod got caught on it," she sighed. "I was fighting with that damned fish for a good twenty minutes. Not only did I lose my ring but it broke the rod and then the line." She grew quiet as her bopper started to move on it's own. "Dark and I tore the boat apart trying to find it," she shook her head. "I even hired divers to look for it but this is the deepest part of the lake, and since it was like finding a needle in a haystack, they had no luck. I even considered having the lake drained but the damage to the ecosystem wouldn't have been worth it and I probably wouldn't have found it anyway."

Carmilla grew quiet again as she spent the next half hour trying to reel the fish in. Laura couldn't help but admire her determination and sheer physical strength when the two-foot-long trout broke the surface. She got the net ready as Carmilla finally got the fish close to the boat.

"Can you get the…" Carmilla panted and then noticed that Laura was already waiting with the net. "Thanks, almost there…" Laura reached over the side of the boat and scooped up the fish, Carmilla putting the rod under her arm so she could help Laura lift the fish into the boat. "Can you grab the hammer from the tackle box?"

"Hammer?"

"Yeah," Carmilla grinned as Laura found it and then handed it to her, "no way am I letting this fucker…"

"Carm?" Laura prompted.

"I don't believe it," Carmilla muttered before she gave the fish one good smack in the head to knock it out.

"What?"

"It's the same fish!" she laughed as she held up the limp trout. "See here?" she asked as she pointed to the slightly rusty lure hanging from its mouth. "That's my lure!" She shook her head and laughed again. "I can't believe I finally caught it!" She leaned over and kissed Laura's cheek. "C'mon, let's head in, get these cleaned, take a shower and then sit in the hot tub for a bit," she suggested as she took care of the rods and then put them aside.

"You know how to fillet fish?" Laura questioned.

"Kenny showed me last summer and I might have taken a cooking class long enough to get good at it," she replied dismissively as she readied herself to row them back. "I used to have to have to cook for myself when I was younger," she explained as started rowing. "I had no choice if I wanted to eat something other than peanut butter and jam," she shrugged. "Deanna would try to starve me for days, but thanks to my Dad's secret passageways, I'd go to the kitchen in the middle of the night and make myself something to eat. Nothing too fancy, of course, just mac and cheese, sometimes eggs. Couldn't take the chance that she'd notice." She shook her head. "When I finally got settled in the apartment Bob set up for us, I started cooking for me and Will. When I did, I realized I actually kind of enjoy it."

Dark was waiting for them as the came up to the dock.

"That was quite the battle that last one gave you," he commented as he tied the boat for them.

"Finally caught the fucker!" she announced proudly as she held it up.

"Good job midget!" he praised.

"Can you bring the rest of the stuff back up?" Dark nodded. "I want to get these," she pointed at the fish on the stringer Laura had retrieved from the side of the boat, "cleaned so we can relax for the rest of the afternoon."

"Is that what we're calling it now?" he joked. "'Relaxing?"

"Well it is relaxing," Carmilla drawled as she held her hand out to Laura.

"We should get a picture of you with it before you cut it up," Laura suggested as she took her phone from her pocket and held it out to Dark.

He smiled and took her phone, Carmilla holding up her one monster fish while Laura held up the rest. They headed up to the cabin once the pictures were taken and dropped the fish into the sink. Laura watched as Carmilla gathered everything she needed and set it on the counter.

"Can I do anything to help?" Laura offered as Carmilla sharpened her filleting knife.

"Sure," she replied and nodded at the fridge. "Grab the lemons and slice them thin?"

They'd been working in comfortable silence for awhile when she heard Carmilla gasp softly beside her; "I don't…"

"Carm?" Laura asked in alarm as she turned to her, worried she had cut herself. "Wait… is that?"

Carmilla had left the monster fish for last and found a special prize inside when she'd gutted it.

"My mother's engagement ring," she affirmed as she went to rinse it off under the water. "It must have swallowed it when it got loose." She turned to Laura and took her left hand.

"Carm?" Laura said quietly.

"Don't worry, Pup, I'm not proposing, not yet," Carmilla chuckled. "Trust me, when I finally propose you'll know it," she teased and slipped the ring on her finger. "I just want to see if it fits."

Laura looked at the ring on her finger, it fit perfectly.

"Do you know what my Dad said to me when I told him I was lesbian?" Laura asked quietly as she slipped the ring from her finger. "First he said; "Thank god you finally said it,"," Carmilla chuckled as she took the ring and then opened a drawer. "But after that he said; "Find a girl who deserves who," she smiled. "I don't know if he'd agree yet, but I think I did."

"I don't know if I'll ever truly feel like I deserve you," Carmilla admitted as she found a piece of string and tied the ring to it, "but it just means I'll always work to make myself worthy of you." She tied the ends of the string and then went looking for a small bowl. She filled it with water and then added a couple of lemon slices before laying the ring inside it. "We'll have to get it to a jeweler to get it cleaned properly," she commented and returned to filleting her catch. She placed a hand on top it of before continuing; "Thanks for keeping it safe, buddy."

Laura kissed her cheek.

"I love you Carm," she said quietly. "In this fucked up world we live in, with all the shit that's happened," she sighed. "It's the only thing I know for sure."

"I love you too Laura," she smiled. "A little more each day."

They kissed softly and they returned to their tasks. It was the small simple moments like this that Laura treasured; being together, doing normal things, being a real couple. It was these moments she'd miss the most if Carmilla, one day, told her she never wanted to see her again. In these moments she wasn't Laura Hollis, undercover Vancouver Police Officer, sometimes professional fighter and occasionally lawyer and shrink. No, in these moments, she was just Laura; a woman head over heels in love with her girlfriend who was looking forward to the day when that's all she had to be.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey beautiful people, sorry for the delay. I had most of this chapter written last week but my laptop died. Again. Hope it was worth the wait!


	16. Quarter-Finals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my beautiful readers, I'm not very happy with the title of this chapter, so if anyone can come up with something better before I do, I will use it and give you credit in the next chapter. Thanks, as always, for your lovely support, both here and on Facebook. Your support and kind words mean the world to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Now

(One Week to Go)

_"When did you get these?" Laura asked in awe._

_"Well," Carmilla drawled as she spread a sheet on the ground, "I was thinking about your idea, and its a great idea," she rushed to assure her before continuing; "but I figured these," she pointed to the variety of body paints and brushes spread out on the table, "will be easier to wash off."_

_"You didn't answer my question," Laura teased as Carmilla walked up behind her and kissed her shoulder._

_"I called Kenny yesterday and got lucky," she supplied as she wrapped her arms around her, "Stan was in Whistler and found everything I asked for." She kissed her cheek. "Do you think this'll be bright enough?"_

_"How do you even have this stuff?" Laura asked as she evaluated what she'd set up._

_"Dark and I did a lot of work up here the last few years," she provided as she turned on the floodlights around them. "Sometimes we worked late into the night," she shrugged, "It's nice not to have neighbors to worry about." Carmilla set a chair in the middle of the sheet while Laura set up her camera and laptop. "So, how do you want me?" she asked as she took off her shirt and bra._

_"The shorts too," Laura answered as she came to stand in front of her._

_"Is that what you meant about leading to something more interesting?" Carmilla joked as she slipped her shorts off._

_"Maybe," Laura chuckled, "but I want to get the scars on the back of your legs too."_

_"They're not from Deanna," Carmilla stated as she straddled the chair and laid her forearms on the back of it. "High school locker room incident." She heard movement behind her and found Laura positioning the lights. "I hated showering at school but it was safer than doing it at home," she explained as she laid her head on her arms. "I'd go in during lunch when it was empty," she sighed and shook her head as she heard Laura place a second chair behind her. "I went to my locker one day and all my clothes were missing. I lost it and went looking for them. By the time I found the two girls who took them," she smiled. "It was the first time I stood up for myself." She breathed in sharply as the brush touched her back for the first time. "That's cold."_

_"Sorry," Laura replied and kissed her shoulder._

_"Anyway, I found them holding my clothes with scissors in their hands," she chuckled. "Shocked the hell out of them when I tore my clothes away from them. They came after me, both of them, but one of them slipped and knocked herself out. The other ran for help and they tried to blame me for it." She sighed. "Her story ran out of steam, though, when they came back to find me taking care of the girl who had relentlessly bullied me for months."_

_"So how did you get the scars?"_

_"They backed up against an overheating radiator at one point," Carmilla replied. "Pretty sure some of the scars on my back are from the beating I got for it after."_

_"Is that why you didn't fight back before that? Because you were afraid of what Deanna would do?"_

_"I was safer under the radar," Carmilla confided. "Not that she ever needed an excuse," she added wryly. "But the fewer I gave her the better."_

_The two grew quiet after that. Laura was focused on finding every scar while Carmilla was lost in memories of how she'd got them. After every color, Laura would take pictures and check them on her laptop to make sure they were clear. She'd take a few moments to check in with her and share a few tender kisses before moving onto the next._

_A couple of hours later, Laura finally announced that she was done with her back._

_"Look up," she instructed, "I need to get the one on your forehead." Laura gently pushed her hair back and then kissed her softly before checking the chart she'd made to make sure she used the right color. Once that was done she got the scar on her arm and prompted her to stand up so she could paint the one on her ribs. She took a close-up picture of her forehead and then another with her standing, her right arm holding up and covering her breasts while Laura got a picture of the scars on her arm and ribs. "You know," Laura said thoughtfully as she transferred her most recent pictures to her laptop, "since we have this all setup, maybe we should take a few pictures for ourselves?"_

_"What did you have in mind?" Carmilla asked as she maneuvered them closer to the paints and then starting playing with the bottom of Laura's tank top before lifting it over her head. She leaned in to kiss her neck to distract her while she dipped her fingers in the nearest paint, drawing it across Laura's cheek as she kissed her. "But whatever it is, I think you're far…" she dabbed paint onto the tip of her nose, "too…" she drew a line done the middle of her chest, "clean," she finished as she circled a nipple with paint._

* * *

 

"Carm?" a worried voice prodded as she was shaken awake. "Carm? C'mon, wake up, you're having a bad dream."

"No," she croaked out, looked at her watch and cleared her throat, "good dream," she blushed. "Really good dream," she amended.

"Oh, um, sorry," Bec muttered, "That would explain the moaning."

"It's okay," she replied as she stopped her with a hand on her wrist, "I was going to get up soon anyway."

"Why you insist on running when the sun is barely up…" grumbled Angela as she pulled herself from her bunk.

"No one said you had to come," teased Carmilla as she sat up and then turned to lean against the wall. She reached under her pillow for her journal and took the pictures she didn't feel like sharing with everyone from the back. "I was dreaming about the night we took these," she supplied as she handed her two pictures; the first was her back, bare of paint. The second was when Laura was finished painting all her scars; barely any clean skin could be seen. "Laura wanted a way to show I couldn't have done that to myself and that Deanna didn't do them in self-defence." She handed her the pictures that came between the first and last.

"How long did this take?" Angela asked as she joined them.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "We were up at my cabin and purposely not keeping track of the time. Maybe a couple of hours?"

"Cabin?" Bec questioned.

Carmilla pointed to a group photo on the wall, the cabin behind them.

"It's was passed down through my Dad's family," she explained. "My Dad was the first to build up there," she smiled. "And I'm the first one who's going to try and make money off the place. I'm not bragging, but I'm building a second gym up there. Complete with cabins that'll house up to four fighters each, a rec longhouse where they can blow off steam and an outdoor obstacle course. It's not as high up as New Mexico or Big Bear, but it's high enough to still get some benefit from it without feeling like you're training in wet cement."

"Is that why you've been blowing us all away in Cardio? Cause you were there before you came here?" Bec questioned.

Carmilla nodded. "But I also trained in New Mexico for my Invicta fight, and," she chuckled, "I've been training, pretty much, non-stop for the last year."

"So this new gym of yours," Angela said as she studied the pictures on the wall, "you'd really give up your sanctuary for a gym?"

"Let's put it this way," Carmilla laughed, "I'm planning to build the gym near the main gate. It's a six to eight hour walk from there to the cabin," she smiled at their looks of surprise. "Hell, takes almost an hour by ATV."

"Wow," they said in unison.

"It's not a big deal," she shrugged. "I inherited it, and if anything, I'm building it so I can train up there." She scooted out of bed. "We're starting construction once the upgrades on my current gym are done. If the crew does a good job, I'll use them for the second gym." She checked the time again. "I'm going to freshen up, get dressed, and make some coffee. See you guys downstairs?" They nodded. She gathered her things from her bag and headed into the bathroom. After using the toilet, she went to wash her hands and splash some water on her face. "Damn," she sighed; she looked like crap. She'd only had one decent night sleep in the last five weeks, the night she'd been home in Laura's arms. Carmilla had bags under her eyes so bad that it looked like she'd already been beaten up. She shook her head; "Pity I can't wear makeup to fight," she thought as she got dressed and then headed downstairs to make coffee.

She found a pot already made, looked around to find who had made it and found Joanne, her next opponent, out on the patio. She walked over and stuck her head out the door; "Hey," she waited for Joanne to acknowledge her. "Is that your coffee?"

"Help yourself," Joanne replied.

"Thanks," Carmilla answered and went to make herself a cup. Noticing there was only enough left for a couple more cups she poured two more and set up the coffee maker to make a new pot. She stirred in her cream and sugar and then made her way to the front of the house to see if the camera crew was ready. She was slightly taken aback, however, when she saw that there was at least six extra SUVs lined up along the road. She made her way outside and spotting Ethan, waved him over. "What's up with the extra cars?" she said by way of greeting.

"They were added when you got back," he supplied and raised an eyebrow. "I'm surprised you didn't noticed."

"I've been a little preoccupied," she replied wryly and wondered whose idea it had been. Had Laura pushed for it? Or had it been Dana's idea after seeing, first hand, that even international borders wouldn't stop Deanna? "You know what? Let's forget the run," she sighed. "What time are we supposed to be heading to the gym?"

"Around four."

"Do you think me, Bec and Angela can head there just after lunch?" The whole point of going for a run was to clear to her head and relax. That was unlikely with the very real presence of the extra security to remind her the of the dangers waiting for her at home.

"I'll see what I can do," he replied as he quickly looked around and then slipped his phone from his pocket. He turned it toward her to show her a text from Laura. "Tell here I love her and wish her luck."

"Thanks," she smiled. "I'll be in the kitchen, let me know?"

She headed back into the kitchen and went to the fridge to grab everything she'd need to make omelets for herself and her friends. She was midway through cutting up a sweet potato when Bec and Angela joined her.

"These for us?" Angela asked.

"If they're cold, I brewed a fresh pot," she said with a nod to it.

"I thought we were having breakfast after our run?" Bec asked.

"Change of plans," Carmilla supplied. "Somehow going for a run with two camera trucks and six security SUVs doesn't sound very relaxing." She sighed. "I'm hoping to head to the gym after lunch. You're welcome to join me if you like."

"Sure," Angela replied for both of them. "What's for breakfast?"

"Omelets and sweet potato home fries," Carmilla provided as she collected four pans from the cupboard. "I'm making the omelets with ham, bell peppers and cheese," she nodded towards the fridge; "Grab anything else you want."

"Sounds good to me," Angela replied while Bec nodded.

"Can we help?" Bec offered.

"No, I got this," she smiled.

"You're the one fighting tonight," Angela joked. "We should be cooking for you."

"It's okay," she dismissed. "I like cooking for my friends, it relaxes me."

Her friends went to sit at the table while she finished cutting up the potato. She turned the heat on for the first pan, added a generous pat of butter and then added the potatoes once it was melted. Next she cut up the bell peppers and ham, started a second pan and the lightly sautéed them before setting them aside. Carmilla lost herself in the simple tasks. Judging when to start the omelettes so that everything would be ready at the same time by checking the doneness of the potatoes.

"Grab plates and come and get it," she announced about fifteen minutes later.

They were just sitting down at the table when Ethan came into the kitchen to let them know they'd be heading to the gym around twelve-thirty.

"So what's the plan then?" Bec asked as the finished eating.

"I think I'll try to take a nap," Carmilla supplied to their surprise. "I think I've had one decent night sleep in the last five weeks."

"Well, go on then, we'll clean this up," Angela prodded.

"Thanks," Carmilla replied.

"Least we can do for the great breakfast," Bec joked.

"And breakfast is the least I could do after all the support you guys have given me," Carmilla answered fondly before quickly hugging the two of them where they sat and kissed the top of their heads. "When I came here I hoped to find someone to hang out with, maybe even confide in," she smiled, "I didn't think I'd actually find a couple of people to call friends." She had a hand on each of her shoulders and gave them both a squeeze. "Come get me around eleven thirty?" They nodded. "Thanks guys."

She made her way back to her room, collapsed on the bed and fished her journal back out from under her pillow. She moved back onto the bed to sit with her back against the wall, took the pictures from the back and flipped through to the pictures she and Laura had taken for themselves.

After Carmilla had threatened to cover her in paint, Laura had set up her camera on a tripod to take pictures. The first showed Carmilla, her back still covered in paint with Laura holding her but only her arms visible across her back, their cleanliness a stark contrast to her back. The next was the same pose, only this time taken from the other side; a naked Laura wrapped in her arms, her head tucked into her neck. Laura had taken one more picture from the side and then moved onto close-ups. The first had the two of them with their foreheads together and staring into each others eyes. Carmilla smiled as she remembered what came next. She'd forgotten about the camera as she kissed Laura with Laura following shortly after her and dragging her into the shower.

"I thought you were going to take a nap," Bec commented as she came to sit next her. "You okay?"

"Aside from starting to get annoyed by everyone asking me that all the time?" Carmilla countered. "I'm about as fine as I'm going to get until I get home." She took a deep breath and then sighed. "I miss her so much," she said, her voice growing quiet. "But I," she sighed, "I don't know if the girl," she shook her head, "the woman," she amended, "that I miss and love so much, I don't know if she even exists."

"You think she pretended to be someone else?"

"She lied to me right from the start," Carmilla reasoned. "Like, she told me she couldn't drive standard but then admitted, about a week after we got together, that she actually learned to drive on a standard."

"Did she tell you why she lied?"

"She said it was because she liked making me laugh," she chuckled.

"Or maybe she just wanted to spend time with you outside of the gym?"

"Maybe," Carmilla conceded. "I don't know," she sighed. "And that's just it, _I don't know._ " She stood and started pacing. "I keep replaying all of it. Every conversation. Every interaction. Everything."

"And?"

"She changed," Carmilla said as she ran through her hands through her hair, or tried to as it was already in cornrows for her fight. "After we got together, she started acting, I don't know, older?" She chuckled and sat back down. "I didn't give it much thought at the time, I mean, I thought she was just getting more comfortable around me but now I can't help but think that she just started acting more like herself." She rubbed her face. "At least that's what I want to believe." She put her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. "It's better than the alternative; that the woman I love and miss so much is nothing more than a façade."

"Maybe you just need to have a little faith?"

"Faith is far too closely related to hope for my comfort," Carmilla replied sadly. "Anytime I've dared to hope, dared to trust happiness, I've been let down." She turned to Bec. "It's far safer to assume the worst and occasionally be surprised when it turns out better than you thought it would, than it is to hope for the best and be constantly disappointed."

"That sounds like a pretty cynical way to live your life," Bec observed.

"When you've lived the life I have…" Carmilla fought back tears. "I've spent almost two decades with that woman, my stepmother, trying to break me. Both literally and mentally." She rubbed her face. "When everyday is a fight for your sanity, for your life, hope is a dangerous thing. Sure, it can keep you going. Keep you from taking your own life when it seems like that is the easiest way out. But put too much faith in it?" She looked back to her. "And that can get you hurt." She looked at one of the pictures on her wall of Danny. "That can get you killed."

"Your friend, Danny, that wasn't your fault."

"I know," she sighed and wiped away her tears. "But the fact remains, if she didn't have the misfortune of knowing me, she wouldn't be dead." She pulled her knees to her chest. "And Laura," she inhaled deeply, trying to stem her tears; "she's right in the crosshairs…" she felt tears stinging her eyes. "I can't… I won't…"

Bec pulled her into her arms as she started weeping; the thought of something happening to Laura, of her getting hurt and not being able to stop it, had her feeling like her heart was in her throat. Despite the lies and manipulations, despite not knowing if the Laura she fell in love with exists, despite all of it, she couldn't stand the thought of losing her before they could figure all this out. Because, despite the confusion and the anger, when she thought of the future the only person she saw by her side was Laura.

Once Carmilla had cried herself out and assured Bec she was okay, the Aussie prompted her to lay down and rubbed her back until she drifted off. She was emotionally and physically spent. Carmilla had spent so much of the last five weeks holding it together and trying not to show any sign of weakness that, with the added stress of her next fight, it had finally become too much to bear alone.

* * *

 

She woke a couple hours later, checked the time and rubbed her face. She had about another hour before heading to the gym so decided to stay where she was and try to focus on her upcoming fight. She closed her eyes and visualized standing outside the gym doors, her coaches and teammates behind her as she took one last chance to focus. She summoned her anger, the deep well inside her almost filled to the brim. She focused on one injustice, Danny's death, and felt the rage rise to the surface. Carmilla imagined throwing the doors wide, making her way to the cage and getting Vaseline applied to her face before the usual checks by the official and entering the cage.

Carmilla skipped the lead up and jumped to the fight itself, visualizing each of the combinations she hoped to use over and over. Finally, she pictured her knocking Joanne on her ass and winning the fight. She smiled. "Just another stepping stone," she thought. "Though, granted, the biggest stone so far." She sighed and sat up. "Or, at least, my toughest fight since Rose."

But the challenges of her fight with Rose had more to do with the venue than her opponent. Not that Rose wasn't a good fighter, she was, but Carmilla had never dealt well in crowds and she'd never fought in front of so many people. She was still surprised at how calm she had felt as she made her way to the cage. But then again maybe that had more to do with Laura's hand firmly held in her own. Once she'd entered the cage she had, as she'd always been able to, blocked out everything outside the cage, the only difference the sound of Laura's encouraging voice over the crowd. She still wasn't sure if she had actually heard Laura at the time or if it was echoes of past encouragements. Either way it had kept her focused, and although she hadn't won, she hadn't lost either. In fact, she doubted she'd have fared as well as she did if Laura hadn't been there. She chuckled. Laura had been far more instrumental in her success than she'd realized. Teaching her without her catching on. Filtering the bullshit so she could focus on training. Most importantly, making her believe in herself for the first time.

Rose was a great fighter but she suspected Joanne was going to be the bigger challenge. At least here fighting was no more intimidating than sparring at her gym at home. No, what made Joanne the bigger threat was what was riding on this fight. Rose had entered their fight knowing that a win for either of them wouldn't change much in terms of their standing within the fighting world. Her fight with Joanne though? A win meant moving on. A loss meant Carmilla would spend the next week convincing herself to not leave early.

"Good, you're up already," Angela greeted. "We made you a salad for lunch if you're hungry."

"I'm not," Carmilla admitted as she stood and stretched, several of her vertebrae popping loudly, "but I should probably eat," she allowed.

"God, woman, you sound like you've been fighting for decades and not only a few years," Angela teased.

"But I have been fighting for more than a decade," Carmilla corrected neutrally. "It's only be a few years since I started fighting back."

"Carm, I…"

"It's okay," she assured her. "I like that you guys forget. That you see me for more than just my past," she shrugged. "Wish I could forget but it is what it is. I suffer from chronic pain every day because of what she did to me." She shook her head. "And I know, because of it, that my fighting career might not be an overly long one," she smiled, "but I'm sure as hell going to make the most of it."

* * *

 

The rest of the day passed in a blur; she ate the lunch her friends made her and then the three headed to the gym. Bec and Angela joined her for her run on the treadmills but left her alone with her thoughts until they entered the cage. She didn't bother taking off her shoes or wrapping her wrists as she only wanted to practice her combinations and had no intention of putting any power behind any of her strikes. She wanted to save her strength for her fight after all. After explaining her intentions to her friends, they took turns holding the pads for her as she practiced her combinations.

"Hey Karnstein!" her coach called on his way over to the cage. "Save some of that for the fight!" he joked. "Go hit the showers and grab something to eat, okay?" he all but ordered despite the warmness to his tone.

"Sure coach," she laughed and did as she was told.

After grabbing her fighting clothes from her bag, she headed to the shower, stripped off her sweaty clothes and stepped under the steaming shower, the water alleviating the stress coursing through her body along with soothing her muscles. She just stood there for a few minutes until her thoughts started drifting to Laura again.

Carmilla sighed and shook her head; "No," she thought, "I can't go there right now," she chided herself as she started washing herself. She needed to stay present and not allow herself to get caught up in ruminating over things she had no control over and questions that wouldn't be answered until she got home.

"Home," she sighed as she rinsed the soap away. Just the thought of it brought a smile to her face and an image of a smiling Laura to mind. Wherever Laura was, was home. Despite everything, that hadn't changed. Somehow the realisation soothed her. Maybe, until she learned differently, she could believe that the Laura she had fallen in love with was the same person who had been secretly helping her all this time. That, in spite of the lies, omissions, deceptions and manipulations, the Laura she knew wasn't an act to gain her trust. Sure, the way she acted changed as they got to know each other but wasn't that normal? That the longer two people knew each other the more they dropped any pretense and acted more like themselves? She wouldn't know. Laura was the first woman she'd dated for more than a couple of weeks. She laughed as she exited the shower and toweled off; ironically, Laura was the first woman she had always acted herself with.

Further contemplation was again put on hold as she dressed in her fight gear and then slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt over them. She took her necklace from her pocket, took off her promise ring, threaded it onto her necklace and then put it around her neck. She looked at it a moment as she ran her thumb over the engraved 'Yours'. She held it to her lips and kissed it. "I'll be home soon baby," she said softly.

She gathered her things along with her wits before rejoining her teammates in the locker room. Carmilla threw her things into her bag, accepted the dinner her friends had made for her and then sat in the corner to eat and down an energy drink.

A little while later almost everyone left to watch the first fight between Tecia and Carla. As much as Carmilla would have liked to see the fight she was grateful for the quiet as only Gilbert and the official taping her hands remained. She excused herself to use the washroom before she wouldn't be able to wash her hands.

She closed her eyes as her hands were wrapped, again trying to draw from her well of anger while visualizing each of her combinations. After a few minutes her thoughts drifted to her Invicta fight. She smiled; she could almost feel the steady stroking of Laura's thumb on the back of her neck. Just knowing Laura was there, supporting her, believing in her, yelling instructions from her corner; she felt like she could take on the world. She felt like she couldn't lose.

Carmilla felt a tap on her hands and opened her eyes.

"Gloves," the official instructed as he handed them to her.

"Thanks," she replied as she pulled them on and then flexed her hands a few times to get them comfortable before the official applied the duct tape and signed it.

"Good luck," the official said when he was finished.

She'd already warmed up and stretched before her teammates returned.

"Who won?" she asked.

"Carla," Angela supplied. "Two rounds, majority decision."

Carmilla took a sip of water to cover her grin; if she ended up fighting Carla it would be for the belt and frankly, she liked her chances. Carla was one of the fighters she'd researched and she was pretty sure she could beat her. The door opened and a PA ducked his head inside to announce they'd be starting in ten minutes.

"Everyone but Angela and Bec," Carmilla spoke up, "out!" She smiled and then added. "Please?"

Her teammates and coaches laughed and exited amid a chorus of 'Good lucks," and 'Kick her ass,' es. She pulled her friends into a hug and whispered to them; "If I win this," she pulled away, "I win because of your guys' support," she smiled. "You know that, right?" They nodded. "Now go on, give me a few minutes alone?"

"Sure," Bec answered as she hugged her again. "You got this."

"Thanks," Carmilla smiled. "Can you take this," she indicated her ring, "just before I go into the cage?" Bec nodded. "Thanks."

Angela hugged her and wished her luck before they left her alone. She made her way over to the mirror and studied her reflection.

"I can do this," she began. "She's nothing more than another stepping stone. Maybe the biggest, toughest, one, so far, but still, she's just a fighter. She doesn't scare me." She smiled. "Sometimes beaten, never broken." She nodded and kissed her promise ring again. No fighter could ever scare her, not after all she'd endured. That's why she'd win. No obstacle was bigger than the one she'd be climbing for most of her life. Her opponents might be trying to hurt her but at least they weren't actively trying to kill her.

"It's time," Gilbert announced with a knock on the door.

She took one long last look at herself in the mirror, smiled and nodded.

"I can do this."

Carmilla pulled her hood ever head as she joined her friends and coaches at the entrance of the gym. She closed her eyes as she waited for the go ahead and again tried to draw from her anger, only accomplishing the feat when she thought of Danny.

"Time!" a voice announced.

She opened her eyes and then pushed the gym's doors open with all her force, tuning out her teammates cheers as she made her way to the cage, had Vaseline applied to her face and turned to Bec to give her necklace and ring. She kissed her cheek and whispered some 'thanks' before putting in her mouth guard.

Before she could turn to the official to go through the routine checks, she'd spit out her mouth guard as she had felt something strange when she'd run her tongue along the inside of it. She wiped away the fine layer of spit to find someone, most likely, Laura, had scratched an 'I heart U' with the heart being an actual little heart, into the plastic.

"Do you need a new one?" Gilbert prodded.

"No," she smiled, "this one is perfect."

Carmilla still had doubts with regards to the genuineness of Laura's feelings, but somehow, in that moment, she found her doubts falling away. She had, after all, found a way to be there for her, even if she wasn't there physically. The cynic in her, that little voice at the back of her head that sounded suspiciously like Deanna, was yelling that Laura was only using her to achieve her own goals. Her heart though, as she entered the cage, was having none of it. If she and Laura stood a chance she had to puts these doubts away until Laura herself could calm them. Until then she wasn't doing either of them any good if she continued to let it distract her from the task at hand.

She stopped before entering the cage, looked up and closed her eyes.

"This one is for you, Xena," she vowed, kissed the tips of her fingers and blew a kiss to the sky.

She ran a lap and then went to her corner to wait for Joanne to join her and then tuned out her coaches as their last-minute instructions were nothing she hadn't heard before. She turned to the center of the cage as Dana explained the rules and studied her opponent across from her; Joanne was wearing a look of fierce determination. Carmilla smiled; for once she was in the position of using someone's overconfidence against them, her whole game plan of taking her down and tiring her out went out the window. No, she was going to win by shaking that confidence. That she could only do by surprising her.

They met in the middle of the cage, tapped gloves and began circling each other. That, however, didn't last long as Carmilla started hitting Joanne in the face with her right jab. Her strikes, at first, were only hard enough to get Joanne to keep her distance, until she added an inside leg kick and upped the intensity of her jab. Around the halfway point Joanne's frustration was starting to show as she rushed her and tried to take her to the ground. She succeeded but couldn't hold her there as Carmilla scrambled back to her feet. She glanced at the clock and considered the fancy kick she'd been practicing; if she was going to use it, now was the time to try. The only problem was that Joanne wasn't given her the space to do it, and with thirty seconds left in the round, tied her up against the fence. Carmilla smiled as she found herself in a position to try Laura's Judo toss.

Carmilla threw her to the ground, Joanne's look of surprise mirroring the one she was sure was on her face at the throw's success. The moment didn't last long as Joanne started scrambling to get back to her feet. She had other idea's though and grabbed her left arm, twisting it back and up as the bell rung.

She stood and offered Joanne a hand up, the Scot smiling and accepting her hand. They returned to their corners, Carmilla sitting as she accepted a bottle of water from Gilbert.

"That was," he shook his head, "what the hell was that?"

Carmilla laughed, spit out her mouth guard and took a sip of water.

"Are you impressed or pissed off?" she joked.

"Both!" he laughed. "Look, you almost had that Kimura…"

"That's what that's called?" she interjected to his laughter.

"Yes," he replied, "that's called a Kimura. If you get her down again, go for it."

"Did I win that round?" she questioned.

"Probably," he smiled. "But don't get cocky. She might be more tired than you but she'll be expecting you to come after her again. Take your time, set it up, and take her down. Got it?"

"No promises," she joked as her corner was waved from the cage.

She again sized up her opponent as she waited for the next round to start; Joanne was wearing the cumulative damage of her right jab on her face. She wondered if she could see out of her left eye as it seemed to be swelling quite rapidly. Carmilla smiled to Joanne's bemusement; she finally had a plan.

The round began much like the first; they met in middle, tapped gloves and then started circling only this time, when Carmilla hit her with her right jab, she didn't hold back. She hit her with it four times in a row and then followed it with a right elbow, stunning Joanne and making her stumble backwards. Carmilla followed her and dragged her to the ground. Joanne had just enough of her senses to try and stand back up but Carmilla grabbed her left arm again, not hesitating this time as she twisted it back and up.

"Tap! Tap! Tap!" Joanne cried out in pain but Carmilla had eased off on the hold at her first cry of 'Tap!'. No point inuring her if she could avoid it and she could just as easily tweak the hold in a heartbeat if Joanne tried to take advantage of her kindness. She needn't have worried, though, as she felt a tap on her shoulder seconds later.

She let Joanne's arm go and sat back on the mat, Joanne mimicking her actions and then pulling her into a hug; "Thanks for easing off," she said into her ear.

"Thanks for not making me pay for it," Carmilla joked as she pushed her away.

"No," Joanne laughed. "You won, fair and square."

Their conversation was cut short as members of both teams entered the cage and surrounded them. Carmilla found herself being lifted to her feet and hugged by Bec and Angela. Once everyone had gotten their hugs she turned to the nearest camera and addressed it directly; "That one was for you Danny! I'm going to miss you buddy! Almost as much as I miss Laura now!"


	17. Confidences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay. Two weeks ago, I had some shit go down at work, and then last week, when I almost had the chapter finished, I did a wicked face plant at home. Hopefully I'll be able to keep to my two week posting schedule from here on out. Hope, you enjoy and if you do please comment!

Then

(Five Weeks Ago)

_Laura sat nervously, her eyes closed, while she listened to Carmilla moving around her. She didn't really see the point; they were in the middle of the lake and it was so dark she could barely see her hand in front of her face. They'd seen their friends out to the main road earlier in the day, headed back to the cabin and then spent the afternoon relaxing in the hot tub. She smiled as Carmilla drew close and whispered; "Okay, open your eyes."_

_Laura couldn't help but gasp softly as she did as she was told._

_"Why didn't you show me this last time?"_

_All the trees around the lake's edge had twinkling lights, from what Laura could see, they were maybe twenty to thirty feet up._

_"There was a section out," she pointed to the lake's edge, "last time we were up and I wasn't in any condition to row us out here."_

_"Did you do this?"_

_"No," she chuckled softly, "not originally anyway." She held her hand out to Laura so she could join her on her side of the boat where she had set up a large sleeping bag. "My Dad had them set up when I was kid but unfortunately he used the kind that goes out when one bulb gets blown out. I tried turning them on the first time we came up but nothing happened. I mentioned it to Kenny and he got them replaced with better lights before we came up again." She shrugged as she opened the cooler and retrieved a bottle of champagne and two glasses. She poured them each a glass, handed one to Laura and put the bottle aside. Carmilla slipped her phone from her pocket and a few seconds later lights shone from the bottom of the lake. "I couldn't really justify hiring divers just to look for my Mother's ring so I hired them to install the flood lights and offered them each twenty-five thousand if someone found it." She laughed. "Guess it was a waste of time but," she pointed up, "it's still kinda cool." Laura couldn't but help agree; the lights weren't very bright but shadows could be seen crossing the lights on the clouds above them._

_Laura sighed and took a sip of her champagne._

_"Something wrong?" Carmilla prompted. Laura shook her head; there were many things wrong but none she could talk about. "C'mon, Pup, talk to me."_

_"No," Laura sighed, "we said we weren't going to talk about you leaving."_

_It wasn't what she'd been thinking but it was no less true._

_"I know," Carmilla sighed and downed the rest of her champagne. She lay down and prompted Laura to follow her. She finished her champagne as well and laid down beside her, her head on Carmilla's shoulder. "Why don't we," Carmilla started as she propped herself up an elbow, "just for tonight, pretend that it's seven weeks from now, and we're up here again," she continued as she ran her fingers along Laura's jaw, "reconnecting."_

_"Is that we're calling it now?" Laura chuckled deeply as Carmilla kissed down her neck and her hand crept under her shirt. She pulled the brunette up and kissed her deeply as her hand reached Laura's breast._

_Laura was just getting into it when she felt a raindrop hit her in the forehead._

_"Carm?"_

_"Hmmm?"_

_"We're going to get wet."_

_"That's kind of the idea," Carmilla joked as her hand moved to Laura's waistband._

_"No," she chuckled, "it's starting to rain."_

_Carmilla looked up at the sky only to be rewarded by a raindrop in the eye._

_"So much for spending the night out here," Carmilla sighed as she wiped her eye and then looked back to her. "Guess we'll head in." She leaned in and kissed her softly. "I love you…" she sighed, the look on her face a combination of love and desire._

* * *

 

Laura kissed her, lingering until she heard the driver clear his throat.

"You have to go," Laura sighed. "See you in six weeks?"

"Forty-two days," Carmilla continued.

"I'll be counting all one thousand and eight hours until you're back in my arms," Laura said, her voice showing the strain of holding back her tears. "Go, before I don't let you."

Carmilla chuckled and kissed her one last time before turning and getting into the SUV behind her. Laura felt an arm around her shoulder as the SUV pulled away. "She's never going to look at me like that again," she thought, the last of her resolve melting away as her knees went weak.

"Hey, hey, it's going to be okay…" Danny cooed as she wrapped her in her arms. "It's not forever, it's only six weeks, right?"

"You don't know," Laura sobbed. "You don't…"

"C'mon," Dark prodded, "let's get her inside," he added and picked her up.

"No," she protested, "put me down!" She pushed against his chest. "I'm fine!"

"You're not," Danny differed.

"No," Laura sighed as Dark set her back on her feet, "I'm not." She rubbed her eyes to stem her tears. "C'mon let's get out of here."

"So you gonna tell me what the hell is going on?" Danny asked as they made their way back into the hotel.

"Yes," Laura sighed, "but can we wait until we get on the plane?" Danny and Dark nodded. "Thanks," she smiled. "I just want to pack up our stuff and head home."

They walked Laura to her room in silence. Her friends had no idea what to say. Since they didn't know the whole story, how could they? Laura, on the other hand, was doing everything she could to hold it together. She couldn't shake the idea that Carmilla wouldn't look at her the same once she found out the truth. Hell, she wasn't sure Danny and Dark would when she filled them in as much as she could.

"Do you want me to keep you company?" Danny offered.

"No, I'm fine," Laura lied; she just wanted a little time alone. She hugged her friends, made her way inside and directly to the mini bar. She poured herself a double gin and tonic and downed half of it as the tears started again. "C'mon Hollis, girl the hell up," she admonished herself and wiped her tears away roughly.

She sipped the rest of her drink as she collected her and Carmilla's things from the living room. Laura dumped their stuff on the bed and went to check the bathroom when she stopped in her tracks at the sight of an envelope on the counter with her name on it. She walked over, and with shaking hands, picked it up and opened it. She took the letter out, Carmilla's ring coming out with it and falling into her palm.

"Hey Pup," she read, her recently stemmed tears falling again. "If you're reading this either you noticed I wasn't wearing my ring and I told you where to find it or you didn't notice, which frankly, considering how I'm feeling, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't, and you found it on your own. Anyway, my love, I'm afraid if I take it with me, I'll lose it but I couldn't bring myself to take it off and give it to you. Please keep it, and yourself, safe for me. I love you Laura, with everything that I am and everything I aspire to be. I miss you already and I haven't even left yet. All my love, yours forever, Carmilla."

She read the letter again, folded it and put back in it's envelope before slipping it into her back pocket. Laura picked up Carmilla's ring and ran her finger over the engraving before slipping it on her finger with her own until she figured out something better to do with it. She checked her face in the mirror; her eyes were red and puffy. She splashed some cold water on her face and sighed. It was going to be a long six weeks.

Laura gathered their things from the bathroom and went back into the bedroom to pack. She put aside a pair of Carmilla's favorite jeans, a hoodie, and finally, a t-shirt of Laura's that Carmilla had a bad habit of stealing. She folded and packed the rest of their things, leaving Carmilla's favorite leather vest out. Laura pulled her briefcase from under the bed and retrieved her shoulder holster, gun and the wallet holding her badge. She slipped the holster on and adjusted the straps; with her training limited due to her broken arm, she was a few pounds heavier than the last time she'd used it. Next she ejected the clip from her gun, checked it, reinserted it, flipped on the safety and then slipped it into the holster. She'd just slipped on Carmilla's vest when she heard a knock on the door followed by Danny calling a "Hello".

"In here!" Laura called back as she placed the clothes she'd set aside for Carmilla into her suitcase before zipping it up.

"Isn't a little warm for the vest?" Danny teased as she leaned against the doorframe.

"It's not just a vest," Laura replied.

"No, I know," Danny laughed. "It's Carm's favorite vest. Bob gave it to her for her twenty-first birthday, right?"

"After I picked it out and had it, um, customised," Laura corrected as she took it off and handed it to her. "Heavier than it looks, right?" Danny nodded but was starring at the gun at her side. "I had a lightweight bullet proof vest sown into the lining," she provided as she took the vest and put it back on.

"How and why do you have a gun?" Danny asked as she pointed at it.

"Dark didn't tell you?" Laura stalled as she handed Danny her badge.

"You're a cop?" Danny stammered.

"Have been for almost five years," Laura answered as she grabbed the two suitcases and motioned them out of the bedroom. By the look on Danny's face it was clear she needed more of an explanation. "I graduated high school at fourteen and had two university degrees, Psychology and Criminology, by nineteen." She shrugged. "I was motivated." She returned to the bedroom to grab her briefcase. "After my Mom died I decided to be a cop like my Dad was."

"Was?" Danny interrupted. "Isn't he still?"

"He is now," Laura clarified. "He was forced to retire after my Mom was killed. He didn't, uh, cope very well. But, with all the suspensions in the department, Rick needed extra help he could trust but the only way Dad could do that was to get reinstated."

"So is everything I know about you a lie?" Danny accused hotly.

"Danny," she sighed, "think about it; what exactly did I tell you about myself?" Danny looked at her in confusion. "You assumed I was about your age because I was in your class," she prompted. "You assumed I was a university student…"

"And you never corrected me," Danny pointed out.

"I couldn't tell you the truth," Laura corrected. "Look, it's complicated, okay?" She ran her hands through her hair. "I wasn't," she shook her head, "I shouldn't have gotten involved with you," she sighed and slumped down into a chair. "And I shouldn't have gotten involved with Carm."

Laura was saved explaining further as Dark knocked and then joined them.

"What's going on?" he asked, the tension in the room was palpable.

"Nothing," Danny provided as the silence stretched. "Let's get out of here."

"Danny, wait," Laura rushed as she stopped her with a hand on her arm. "I was trying to protect you." She shook her head. "No one knows the whole truth."

"What are you talking about?" Dark interjected.

"Dark," she sighed, "I haven't told you everything because I didn't want you to have to lie to Carm." She looked at her watch. "But we should go," she motioned to the door. "I'll explain what I can on the plane, okay?" Dark and Danny exchanged a look. "Look, I wish I could tell you everything, I do, but there's a few things Carm deserves to hear first, and something Kirsch deserves to hear, and people whose lives depend on me keeping their secrets."

"Dramatic much?" Danny scoffed.

"You won't think so when I tell you what I can," Laura replied sombrely. "C'mon, let's go home."

Dark grabbed one of her suitcases while she grabbed the other one and her briefcase. Neither of her friends were saying anything as they all made their way downstairs and out to the car. Laura wasn't exactly sure where to start, and although there were things she intended to tell Danny and Dark that she didn't want the Xanders to know, she figured she might as well start at the beginning.

"So, um," Laura started a few minutes into their drive to the airport, "I've been a cop since I was twenty," she supplied. "Since I looked really young, I was a natural to infiltrate high schools and bring down drug rings," she smiled as Steven caught her eye in the rear-view mirror. "Steven was my partner," she chuckled. "He stayed mostly in the background but whenever I needed backup there he was, playing my Dad."

"Dad?" Danny laughed. "He's what, thirty-five?"

"But since I was undercover as a sixteen-year-old it wasn't unreasonable," Laura pointed out. "Anyway," she sighed, "I was on medical leave of absence until a few months ago," she shook her head. "The last high school we worked," she rubbed her face. "Most of the schools it was little things; weed, maybe some Ecstasy, but we found something a lot darker in the last one." She felt Dark take her hand in support; he knew part of the story, but it wasn't one she told in full since the hearing. "It started off the same; get to know the popular kids, find out who is doing what drugs and where they were getting them, but about a month in, everything changed." She closed her eyes as images of what she'd found flitted past as if it had happened yesterday. "I was at a party and I found this girl crying alone in a room." She took a shaky breath and wiped her tears away with her free hand. "The hockey team had a competition going; get laid at any cost."

"Any cost?" Danny asked, her disgust obvious.

"It's even worse than you think," Laura continued. "They, the hockey team and most of the senior boys, ranked all the girls in the school according to attractiveness and perceived attainability. The better looking and harder to get, the higher the points."

"That's…"

"Deplorable?" Laura offered. "It gets worse. I did some digging and found their list. They got more points for different sexual acts, the more depraved, the more points they got." She felt the familiar anger at the back of her throat. "And it didn't matter if it was consensual or not. In fact, the most points they could get was for landing the hottest girl, making her do horrible things and then getting away with it." She took her hand from Dark, laced her fingers and looked down at her hands. "I spent the next few months making myself their biggest target while trying to keep the girls of the school safe." She sighed. "And then I met Cindy, she was a few years younger than me, had no idea who I was," she smiled. "It was a nice distraction from my reality and I thought she was into me too, but then I tried to kiss her and she bolted. A couple months later I ran into her at a party I was staking out," she frowned. "She was all over some guy and it hurt. I took a beer from some girl and went off by myself to get drunk. That was my first mistake, though, in retrospect, I suppose I saved the girl I stole the beer from."

"It was laced?" Danny guessed.

"I came to, half naked, with the captain of the hockey team pawing at me," Laura supplied once she nodded. "I fought him off but he wasn't giving up. That was his last mistake; he tried to jump on top of me but I got my feet under him and launched him across the room and into a table. He was dead before he hit the ground."

"Laura called me," Steven continued for her as she'd grown so quiet by the end he knew she couldn't continue; "I showed up with the police and arrested most of the hockey team; they all had Roofies on them. Laura didn't…"

"Tell like it is, Steven, I fell apart," Laura finished for him. "I was, sort of, date raped when I was fifteen," she held up her hand to forestall their questions. "I only bring it up because what happened brought all that back to the surface along with the PTSD I had after watching my Mother die." She shook her head. "I dropped out of the high school but we needed to keep our covers because we were still trying to find out who was supplying the drugs," she smiled. "A few weeks later a couple of my friends came and begged me to come back to school." She shook her head. "I told them the truth, about who I was and what I was trying to do. Together we figured out it the hockey coach was supplying them."

"That was the speech you gave!" Dark interjected.

"The hearing into Derek's death was humiliating and horrible," Laura continued. "The only things that kept me going were my friends and training." She smiled. "After the hearing I was placed on medical leave to deal with my PTSD so I took a little time off and went to train in Montreal for almost a year. It was there that I first heard rumors of straw weight edition of the Ultimate Fighter and started taking my training more seriously."

"But you were already managing Carmilla's career through Bob," Danny interrupted.

"We're here," Steven saved her from answering but Laura didn't miss his raised eyebrow; as far as the Xanders knew, Laura hadn't been involved much longer than they had.

They made their way onto the plane in silence, though Laura didn't miss the sidelong glances she was getting from two her oldest friends. It wasn't that she didn't trust them, she did. She trusted them with her life, in fact. But Betty had already had one career ended because of Deanna, she wasn't about to put the rest of her future in jeopardy too.

"How long till we take off?" Laura asked Julie as they entered.

"About twenty minutes," Julie supplied. "Can I get you anything?"

"Double gin and tonic," Laura answered and motioned Betty and Steven to the bedroom. "Please?" she prodded when they didn't seem inclined to comply.

Betty nodded tersely, took Steven by the arm and led him into the bedroom.

"Look," she said to Danny and Dark, "there's things I need to tell you that they can't know yet, so please, bear with me just a little longer?" They nodded. "I'll explain once we're airborne." They both nodded again as the took their drinks from Julie. Laura went to join the Xanders, stopped at the door and swallowed half her drink. They were going to be mad, they only question was, just how angry would they be?

"What the hell is going on Laura?" Betty interrogated as soon as the door closed behind her.

"I can't tell you," Laura replied calmly as she walked over to the bed and placed her suitcase and briefcase on it.

"What the…" Steven replied, his voice low and angry. "We're putting our lives on the line to protect you and your girlfriend and we don't rate the truth?"

"I'm trying to protect you," Laura offered as she retrieved Carmilla's overnight bag from under the bed. "I needed your help, I trust you," she stood and met their eyes when she heard one of them scoff. "I do trust you," she reiterated. "But I'll be damned if I'm going to risk your careers, or your lives, anymore than I already have."

"Maybe that isn't your choice to make!" Steven countered. "You should have told us everything before you ever asked us to get involved!" He began to pace, clenching and unclenching his fists. "Tell us what the hell is going on or we're out!"

"I can't," she replied sadly. "Too much is riding on you remaining unbiased."

"This is because you followed your…" he shook his head. "You never should have gotten involved with her!"

"I know," Laura sighed. "But I did and now any testimony I give will be tainted. That's why I need you guys." She sighed again. "And I've been off active duty since Rick found out Carm and I were together."

"So you needed us so you could carry your gun," Betty spat. "Nice."

"Look, there is more going on, lots more," she divulged reluctantly. "But if I tell you, then you would have to admit you knew when this all comes out."

"So you're trying to give us plausible deniability?" Steven retorted.

"Yes," she replied simply. "I'm sorry," she added sadly as she looked down. "You're my friends and I should have told you the truth but I needed your help and I couldn't risk you saying 'no'."

"So our help was more important to you than our friendship?" Betty asked as she sat next to her.

"No," Laura sniffed. "I guess I hoped that our friendship would be strong enough to withstand this." She looked up as she heard the door open and close. "Are you as pissed as he is?" Laura asked Betty carefully.

"Not really," Betty admitted with a sigh. "I've known you a long time, Laura, and I know you always try to do what's right." She took her hand. "And I might have had a feeling more was going on."

"You did?"

"Laura," she chuckled, "no one falls as fast and hard as you did for Carmilla." She smiled. "How long have you been in love with her?"

"Years," Laura laughed. "I just didn't realize it."

"Look," Betty sighed, "do I wish you'd been upfront with us? Yes. Do I understand?" she shrugged. "Sort of," she confided. "But what I know is that, despite the stress, I've never seen you happier." She put her arm around Laura's shoulder and hugged her. "We're not going to abandon you."

"Even Steven?"

"I'll talk to him," Betty soothed. "You going to be okay?"

"Maybe in six weeks I will be," Laura tried to joke but her voice cracked near the end. She reached for her briefcase to cover and took out a Sharpie. "Can you do me a favour?" She asked as she handed Betty the marker. "Write; 'Forever yours' around my tattoo?"

"Okay, but why?" Betty chuckled as she took Laura's right arm and started writing.

"Because I forgot to give Dana Carm's phone, and if she has to come home for some reason, I'd like to leave a surprise on her phone for her," Laura explained.

"You're such a sap," Betty teased as she finished.

"Yeah, well," Laura sighed as she slipped Carmilla's phone from her vest pocket, "I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she doesn't come home…"

"So if she does it'll have to be pretty bad?" Betty supplied to her nod. "I'll go find out when we're taking off," Betty offered as the plane had moved.

"Thanks," Laura smiled. "For everything, Betty."

"You're welcome, kiddo," Betty replied fondly and kissed the top of her head before leaving.

Laura took a couple of pictures of her tattoo with Carmilla's phone, deleted all but the best one, and then slipped the phone and its charger into an envelope from her briefcase. She grabbed a pen and pad of paper next and set about writing a note for Carmilla to find in the unlikely event that she had to come home. She was about to set pen to paper when there was a knock on the door followed by Julie informing her that she had to come get strapped in.

"Can I get you another?" Julie offered as she handed her her empty glass.

"Please," Laura replied gratefully as she went to take a seat across from Dark and Danny.

"Everything okay?" Danny prompted.

"No," Laura replied with a glance at the Xanders. She took her drink from Julie and took a long sip as the plane sped up for take off. "Can you guys, um, give me a few minutes? I need to write a letter." They exchanged a glance and nodded. "Thanks."

Laura stared out the window for a few minutes, smiled and finally started writing; "Hey baby," she wrote. "If you're reading this something has happened, and you're coming home. The second piece of paper with this note is a list of rules you'll have to follow while you're here. As soon as you can, call Frank, no one else, even if Dana tells you differently. Please, baby, trust that whatever it is that is bringing you home, it is important enough. I hope, that whatever you find out while you're home, you'll forgive my decisions and choices I've made with your best interest in mind. I love you, Carm, that is not something that will ever change even if I wanted it to. I pray you feel the same. See you soon, Kitten, I miss you already. All my love, Laura."

The plane had leveled out by the time she was tearing her letter from the pad.

"Come with me?" she asked her friends as Julie handed her another drink. Dark and Danny nodded and followed her to the bedroom. She sat on the bed again and took the list of rules she'd mentioned in her letter from her briefcase. She folded it, along with her letter, and slipped them both into an envelope, sealing it before she'd realized she'd forgotten to include Carmilla's ring. She sighed as she opened her suitcase, took out the clothes she'd put aside for Carmilla and started putting them in her overnight bag. As an afterthought, she slipped off Carmilla's ring and tucked it into the pocket of Carmilla's sweatshirt before zipping up the bag.

"Remind to ask Julie to tell Carm to look in her sweatshirt pocket," she asked them.

"Um, okay," Danny replied as she sat beside her. "So what's up with you and the Xanders?"

"They're both cops and what I'm about to tell you guys could jeopardize their careers," she replied. "And some of what I'm about to tell you I've only found out recently myself. As it turns out my Dad and Carm's Mom were a lot more than 'just acquaintances' in high school." She laughed and took a sip of her drink. "A lot more." She shook her head. "About a year before Will was born, Carmen, Carmilla's mother, contacted my Dad with suspicions that Bill Senior was having an affair."

"With Deanna?" Dark asked.

"Probably," Laura shrugged. "A few months later Carmen talked him into meeting with her. Nine months later, Will was born." She smiled at their looks of shock. "Yeah, that's kind of how my face looked when I found out," she joked. "Deanna set them up; drugged them and then let the latent feelings they had for each other take over. According to my Dad, they weren't even sure they'd done anything until Carmen figured out she was pregnant."

"So, Deanna was trying to break them up?" Danny questioned.

"Only my Dad went to the hospital and got tested and Carmen went home and told Bill the truth," Laura continued. "And then Carmen was killed…"

"Killed? I thought it was a car accident?" Dark interrupted.

"My Dad investigated the 'accident'," she sighed; how had she never figured out how invested her father was and why? "There was no evidence of a second car and her car was burnt so badly there was no evidence left to find. Little did I know my Dad started watching over Will and Carm shortly after."

"Because Will is his son?" Danny asked.

"More out of loyalty to Carmen, I think," Laura clarified. "And it's not like he actually did anything to help them," she sighed. "I guess, after a little digging into Deanna, he decided it was safer to watch from afar and gathering evidence on his own. That is," she sighed, "until Bill died and my parents filed for custody of Will and Carm."

"Why did she kill your mother, though?" Danny questioned, and despite the question, she smiled that Danny was keeping up.

"Because they were days away from a paternity test so she killed my Mom to keep my Dad quiet," Laura supplied quietly. "If Will was proven to not be a Karnstein, he, and by extension, Deanna, would have lost everything once my parents got custody."

"Because everything would have gone to Carm and Deanna would have lost their allowances?" Dark blurted.

"Worse," Laura smiled. "She wasn't blood related to either of them, she'd have lost everything." She shook her head and got up to pace. "Dad moved us to Vancouver and started keeping a closer eye on them despite the danger and then, when Carm and Will ran away, Frank contacted him and hired him to officially watch over them." She ran her hands through her hair. "I found their file a little while later and started helping," she smiled. "It wasn't easy; helping them without Deanna finding out. She kept getting them evicted from the places they found and pretty soon they were homeless. Dad found out where they were squatting and I approached Bob and convinced him to help."

"You know," Dark laughed, "I always wondered about that. Bob, he uh, called us all aside that morning and told us, if she challenged one of us, we were to accept and take a dive if she gave us the chance."

"Seriously?" Laura chuckled. "So she didn't knock you on your ass?"

"No," he laughed, "she did! But she caught me off guard and she didn't knock me out." He shook his head. "Is that why you did the same to her?"

"Maybe I was banking on her sense of nostalgia," Laura admitted. "But she wasn't taking me seriously." She shook her head and sat back on the bed between them. "I had no idea how bad it was," she continued quietly. "The things Deanna did to her," she took a deep breath. "But I had an idea, and I figured fostering her natural fighting instinct would be good for her." She smiled. "And then I heard about the Ultimate Fighter and came up with a plan." She sighed. "Not like anything went according to plan." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter now."

"Laura, if you didn't know about Will, you know, being your half-brother, why did you get involved in the first place?" Danny asked carefully.

"I could have been her," Laura admitted sadly. "My Dad, he didn't take my Mom's death very well. I guess, now, it sort of makes sense," she shrugged; it didn't excuse what he'd done. "He started drinking, heavily. I found him passed out one night and had enough. I collected all the alcohol in the house, boxed it, put it in the car and then left it in an alley downtown," she chuckled. "Made a few homeless guys' day." She shook her head. "By the time I got back he was tearing the house apart looking for something to drink. I confronted him, he hit me, I hit him back, hard."

"You hit your Dad?" Dark blurted.

"He deserved it," Laura admitted. "He was being an ass," she ran her hands through her hair and got up to pace again. "He went to hit me again and I told him, if he did, I'd put him in the hospital and he'd never see me again."

"You were what, fourteen?" Danny questioned incredulously.

"Fifteen," Laura corrected. "With seven years of Krav Maga and I'd already put one man in the hospital," she added, and then, at their looks of bemusement she explained. "I was with my mother the night she was killed. There was two of them. The guy who attacked me ran off when I started fighting back. I went after the guy who was hurting my Mom but it was too late," she fell back to the bed between them. "He slit her throat, there was nothing I could do except not let him get away. I beat the tar out of him by the time the cops showed up." She rubbed her face. "Anyway, my Dad snapped out of it, got help." She shrugged. "But if I hadn't stood up to him?"

"It probably still wouldn't have been as bad what Carm went through," Dark supplied.

"I know," Laura replied sadly, "and you don't even know the half of it."

"What are you talking about?" Dark questioned.

"You haven't read her journal," Laura pointed out. "And I'm not sure even she knows how bad it was," she admitted quietly. "Carm, she um, references several missing days. Things she can't remember," she shook her head and wiped away a tear. "And then there's what Betty overheard that got her blackballed from the law community." She met each of their eyes. "No, I'm not telling you," she stood and walked away. "I need proof, and if I'm right, she deserves to hear it first."

"It's bad?" Dark prompted.

"Potentially," Laura confided.

"Laura," Danny started and waited for her to meet her eyes. "Why was it so important that Carm not find out what you were doing?"

"What makes you say that?" Laura asked uncomfortably.

"Well I get why you didn't want Deanna to know, I mean, even without your history, she's a scary lady, but why not just help Carm outright?" Danny reasoned.

"Because," Laura sighed. "It was important for Carm to do this on her own."

"But she didn't," Dark countered.

"I just gave her the opportunities," Laura differed, "she was the one who did the most with each and every one. Take Bob, for example; yes, he agreed to help her out because of the stipend we were giving him to do it but she's the one who helped him grow his gym into one of the most popular gyms in Vancouver. Yes, I got her the fights but she's the one who kicked ass every single time. She's the one who impressed the hell out of Joe, Dana and Shannon." She smiled. "And everyone single person's who has coached her." She shook her head. "I wish," she sighed, "I wish I'd done more."

"You did more than anyone else ever has," Dark countered. "You gave her her life back, helped her believe in herself for maybe the first time." He got up and put his hand on her shoulder. "She loves you Laura, more than I think even she realizes. Sure, she might be angry, at first, but she'll get over it."

"You really think so?" Laura asked hopefully.

"I do," he replied and pulled her into a hug. "Just don't ever lie to her again, okay?"

"I won't," she chuckled. "Can you, um, give me and Danny a moment?" Dark nodded and hugged her again. She slipped off Carmilla's leather vest, her shoulder holster and set them aside before sitting down next to Danny. "I'm sorry I lied to you," she confided, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Soooo…" Danny started, "you're a cop."

"Back on active duty as of a few hours ago," Laura supplied. "Her driver, Ethan, is with the Las Vegas Police Department. Now that she's officially under their care, I'm no longer in a conflict of interest."

"So, what happens next?"

"We throw a lot of shit at a Deanna sized fan and wait for the fallout," Laura replied vaguely.

"You're not going to tell me?"

"I don't have anything concrete, yet," Laura stalled. "And if I am right, I can't risk tipping anyone off," she saw that Danny was getting angry and so put a hand on her wrist to keep her from storming off. "It's not that I don't trust you, I do, but there really are people's safety at risk, including yours," she shook her head. "I've worked too hard, risked too much, to fail her now."

"Fine," Danny hissed, "if you won't tell me what's going on what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I was wondering…" Laura lost her nerve though and trailed off.

"You want me to take the spare room for a few nights?" Danny offered with a raised eyebrow.

"How did you know?" Laura asked to her amusement. "Wait!" she laughed. "She gave you a list, didn't she?"

"She did," Danny chuckled. "I think she knew you'd feel uncomfortable asking."

"It's just," Laura sighed, "I haven't spent the night alone in Carm's apartment and it's going to be hard enough without her there…"

"Laura," Danny interrupted with a chuckle, "it's okay."

"It is?"

"Yeah," Danny affirmed and kissed the side of her head. "But I'm taking the spare room…"

"It is a king-sized bed," Laura pointed out.

"No," Danny shook her head, "that's not a line I'm willing to cross, even if Carm gave me permission to do just that."

"Really?"

"She told me to comfort you if you need it but Laura, you're scared, lonely," she sighed. "Frankly, if you started something, I don't know that I'd have the willpower to stop you…"

"But I'd never…"

"And I'm not putting either of us in the position of finding out," Danny talked over her. "I love you, Laura, I do, but I also care about and respect Carm. I wish you looked at me the way you look at Carm but you never have and you never will," Danny looked down. "I accept that." She looked back to her. "But I want to be there for you, as a friend, so I, uh, got walkie-talkies. I'll be just across the apartment if you need me, okay?"

"Okay," Laura accepted and leaned into her. "Do you really think Carm will forgive me?"

"She'd be stupid not to," Danny joked. "Besides, I think she knows you better than you think she does." Laura gave her a skeptical look. "She knew there'd be things you'd need that you wouldn't have the courage to ask for." She put her arm around Laura's shoulder. "I think, once she accepts that you are who you've been all along, and that you really do love her, she will."

"Thanks, Danny," Laura put her arm around Danny's waist and hugged her. "Even if you're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I would never just say something to make you feel better," Danny replied in a mock offended tone.

"I want to believe everything is going to be okay, I do…"

"Than just believe it," Danny cut her off.

"I'll try," Laura yawned and looked at her watch. "I'm going to take a nap, wake me fifteen minutes out?" Danny nodded and gave her a hug. "Thanks, Danny, for trying to understand."

"I'm trying," Danny sighed and hugged her one last time before leaving her alone.

Laura shook her head, stretched out on the bed and then pulled Carmilla's vest into her arms. She held the leather to her nose, inhaled deeply and smiled when she remembered how happy she'd been when Bob told her Carmilla loved it. Laura would always wish she'd done more. Maybe help Carmilla avoid some of the pitfalls she'd encountered during her first years of freedom. Instead she tried to help mitigate the fallout. Still, people had gotten caught in the crossfire. People Laura would always feel responsible for.

She wiped the tears from her face; she couldn't change the past. She smiled. No, all she could do now was make Deanna pay for it and finally free them all. Carmilla was safely tucked away in the Ultimate Fighter house and Will was tucked away in a rehab facility under the careful eye of a good friend. Now was the time to smoke out the rats and take them all down. Now it was time Deanna learned just what a mistake she made the day she had her mother killed. She was going to pay for every time she hurt Carmilla. Laura was going to see to that. Deanna was never going to hurt anyone ever again. Even if it meant doing something drastic.

With that thought in mind, Laura drifted off into a fitful sleep, dreaming of the day she had Carmilla back in her arms.

 


	18. Sabotaged

Now

Five Days to Go

_Carmilla sat staring into the fire after having added a few more logs. They were heading back to Vancouver, and reality, the next day and this was their last chance to spend a night outside under the stars. She sighed as Laura's cold hand snuck beneath the back of her shift and started rubbing circles._

_"Penny for your thoughts?" Laura prompted._

_"We don't have pennies anymore," Carmilla deflected with a chuckle and leaned back into Laura who was still inside their sleeping bag. They'd had dinner with the Xanders, went over the plan for the drive home, and then headed down to the fire pit around dusk. They'd been lying in each other arms, both enjoying the comfortable silence broken only by the occasional splash of a fish jumping in the distance and the crackle of the fire._

_"Fine," Laura laughed, "make it a Nickle."_

_Carmilla sighed and ran her hands through her hair._

_"I was thinking about the last time I spent a night out here," she reached over and played with Laura's hair absentmindedly. "Me, Dark and Brody…"_

_"You know he hates it when you call him that," Laura interrupted._

_"Did he mention why?" Carmilla asked as she looked at her. Laura shook her head, "Brody is his middle name but he doesn't like his first name, Wilson, much better." She smiled. "When Will and I came into the picture it got a little confusing having a Will and a Wilson and he wanted to be called 'Kirsch' but that wasn't any better with most people calling Bob either Mr Kirsch or Coach Kirsch so we compromised on Brody." She shook her head. "He's lost so much," she sighed and rubbed her face. "'Cause of me."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"I don't have any proof, of course, but I'm pretty sure Deanna was responsible for his parent's divorce," she shrugged. "Not that it took much prodding." She sighed. "See, Kirsch's mom, she wasn't a very nice lady. Not Deanna level evil, but selfish and self-absorbed. She was always on Bob to make more money, be more successful," she stared back into the fire as she tried to ignore the familiar rage bubbling up inside her. "But then someone accused Bob of having less than honourable intentions with regards to me and she, Kirsch's mom, ran with it. Thanks to Frank she didn't get much but she somehow had enough to relocate to a fancy new condo in Toronto."_

_"You think Deanna paid her?"_

_"It wouldn't surprise me," she replied wryly. "She did them a favour, she really was unpleasant." She sighed and wiped away a tear. "Bitch didn't even call Kirsch to see if he was okay after Bob's death."_

_"Do you think," Laura started hesitantly, "that Deanna had something to do with Bob's death?"_

_"Maybe," she shook her head. "If she did, she covered her tracks well."_

_"Carm?" Laura prodded until she met her eyes. "If we put her in jail…"_

_"_ _When_ _," Carmilla corrected._

 _"Okay,_ _when_ _we put her in jail," Laura continued, "do you think that will be the end of it?"_

_"I'd like to think so," she replied. "It'll depend on how we bring her down, and how well," she shook her head. "If we ruin her reputation, take away her money, out all her helpers, and get Will to turn against her?" she shrugged. "Maybe."_

_"And if it isn't?"_

_"I don't know," she sighed, took out a cigarette and lit it. "Sometimes," she looked back into the fire, unable to look at the woman she loved as she admitted her darkest secret: "I regret letting Will stop me the night we ran. I know," she ran her free hand through her hair, "I know I'd have had to deal with the consequences, but at least it would have been over."_

Carmilla woke with a groan and immediately curled into the fetal position as she realised what had woken her; intense shooting sharp pains across her stomach and lower back. "No, no, no," she thought; she couldn't be getting her period now. That train of thought was cut short, however, as she become aware of the pounding in her head and waves of nausea crashed over her. She rolled out of bed and onto her knees with another groan.

"Carm?" came a sleepy voice from across the room. "You okay?" Bec added as she rushed to her side.

"Really not," Carm answered as she reached for her bag.

"Want the medics?" Angela asked as she joined them.

"Fuck!" Carmilla hissed as the pain in her head and nausea doubled. She made a mad dash to the bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time to empty the contents of her stomach, the pain in her head almost making her black out as the dry heaving began. She felt someone pull back her hair and then rub her back. Finally, the heaving came to end, leaving her panting, her face tear stained and her headache still blinding. "Fuck," she croaked out, her throat hoarse.

"Water?" Bec offered. Carmilla nodded and took a bottle from her. She tried, but failed, to open it and handed it back to Bec. "You okay?" Bec asked again as she handed it back to her.

Carmilla shook her head, regretted it, took a mouthful of water, swished it around her mouth and spit it into the toilet. She took another sip and let it slip down her burning throat.

"Miss Karnstein, are you okay?" a medic prompted as she dropped to her knees beside her.

"Clearly not," Carmilla replied, her voice hoarse. She looked down and sighed; her pajama bottoms were stained with blood. "Get me whoever hands out the pills," she added calmly. "Someone fucked up," she went to stand but found herself grabbing for Bec's shoulder. "Fuck…" she hissed as she clutched her head with her other hand, the room spinning and the edges of her vision growing dark.

"Carm?" Bec prodded as she took more of her weight.

"I'm fine," she chuckled, "okay, not fine, but I will be." She closed the toilet and turned to sit on it. "I got my period, and I shouldn't have. I have a migraine from hell," she pinched the bridge of her nose, "that was probably set off by…" she tried to think of what she'd eaten the day before but the pain in her head was making it hard to think. "Bec," she turned to her friend, "can you grab my bag?" Bec nodded.

"I think we should take you to the hospital," the medic suggested.

"No," Carmilla replied firmly, "I'll be fine."

"You're not fine," the medic countered. "You heart is racing, you're pale as a ghost, covered in sweat and almost blacked out."

"Think it has something to do with the excruciating pain in my head?" she mocked. "I need," she paused as Bec placed her bag in her lap, "sugar." She popped two Dextrose tablets into her mouth and started to chew. "Borderline hyperglycemic," she supplied once she'd swallowed. "Between the throwing up and the pain in my head, my sugar bottomed out." She winced as a particularly sharp stab of pain cut across her head. "Maybe the hospital isn't a bad idea," she conceded; while it may make her seem weak to the others at least they might be able to give her something for the pain. "But, no ambulance," she demanded, "and I need a shower first." The medic nodded. "And don't tell Laura." The medic was taken aback, but nodded. "Give me," she looked at her watch, "twenty minutes?"

"Can I get you anything in the meantime?"

"At least twelve hundred milligrams of ibuprofen. Acetaminophen, fifteen hundred milligrams, preferably with caffeine," she stated to the ever-growing look of wonder on the medic's face. "A couple of Gravol and," she looked to Bec, "one of the pre-made protein shakes? Vanilla?" Bec nodded. She looked back to the Medic; "I'm taking a shower."

Once the medic had again nodded she went to stand, the room spinning but this time mostly due to the pounding in her head. "I'm okay," she muttered as the Medic had gone to take her arm. "Bec?" she said, stopping the Aussie just as she was about to leave. "Can you grab me a clean pair of underwear, sweat pants, sweat shirt and a t-shirt?" Bec nodded and changed her direction to the bedroom. She made her way to the shower and looked over her shoulder; "Do you mind?" she prompted the Medic as she didn't seem inclined to leave. Once she had Carmilla turned back to the shower, turned on the water, undressed and then sighed as they water ran over her. It didn't help the headache, nor the cramps, but it made her feel slightly more human after puking up everything in her stomach. As she washed the blood from between her legs she thought over everything she'd eaten in the last twenty-four hours. There were only a few things that triggered her migraines; shellfish and MSG among them. She was always very careful to avoid them and she'd made a point of preparing her own food while in the house. Someone had to have slipped her something. She lifted her face to the hot water, the heat having no effect on her headache but succeeding in stemming her tears. This wasn't a coincidence. A mix-up in her medication could maybe be explained away, but this on top of it? "No," she thought as she shut off the water; "this was done on purpose."

She opened the shower door to find Bec waiting with her clothes, a towel, and a protein shake. "Thanks," she muttered as she took the towel

"Feeling any better?"

"No," she replied as she dried herself. "Give me a few minutes?" Bec nodded and left. She grabbed her underwear along with a tampon and pad from her bag and went to sit on the toilet. She had just finished and had just slipped on her sweatshirt when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she called.

"Here," the Medic offered her a handful of pills.

"This isn't what I asked for," Carmilla pointed out as she took them.

"That's the maximum dosage for each," the Medic supplied.

"I'm aware," she replied dryly. "But I'll be lucky if this takes the edge off." She downed the medication. "Is Ethan taking me to the hospital?" She asked and received the medic's nod. "Well, let's go then," she sighed, "the sooner we go the sooner I can get back."

She took her sunglasses and ball cap from her bag, slipped the sunglasses on and then pulled her hat on once she readjusted it so it was tighter. Somehow the extra pressure on her head seemed to ease the building pressure inside it. Carmilla followed the Medic out to Ethan, the latter already waiting with the door open.

"You know," Ethan said lightly as he got in beside her, "when I took this job I didn't expect so many trips to the hospital."

"Neither did I," Carmilla laughed and then clutched at her head.

"That bad?"

"Do you suffer from chronic pain?" she asked him.

"No."

"Every day I wake up with pain somewhere," she shook her head slightly as she saw pity cross his features. "No, don't pity me, it's just a fact of life," she assured him with a squeeze of his wrist. "An average day for me is about a three out of ten, only, that three? For a person without chronic pain? That three would be more like a five or six," she explained. "Right now, I'm at a nine, on my pain scale."

"Shit," Ethan hissed.

"Exactly," Carmilla chuckled. "This isn't a coincidence," she sighed. "Has anyone talked to Dana yet?"

"He's on his way to the house," Ethan supplied.

"Has anyone called Laura?" she queried. "Fuck," she hissed when he nodded. "I told them not to call her."

"You have your shit list, she has hers," he countered. "And this qualifies."

"So, you called her?" He nodded. "What did she say?"

"She suspects this was intentional," he supplied. "And she's furious." He looked her way as they came to a stop at a red light. "Why don't you want her to know?"

"She has enough on her plate," she replied.

"Um, with all due respect, I think you are her plate," he differed.

"You think so?" she asked hopefully.

"I do," he replied. "I only met her the one time, but I could tell, whatever else this is to her, she loves you."

More than anything else she wanted to believe him. "No," she thought, "more than anything else I wish she was here," she felt tears welling in her eyes. "Holding me. Taking care of me. Telling me it's going to be okay."

She looked out the window, quietly sipping her protein shake, while trying not to let her paranoia take hold.

"We're almost there," Ethan told her quietly.

She nodded and wiped the tears from her face.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked as they pulled up to the hospital.

"Not really," she admitted. "The nausea is a bit better, but other than that?" she shook her head. "They barely gave me enough to take the edge off." She looked around as she got out of the car. "I thought we were going to the hospital?" She asked as she recognized the same clinic they'd taken her to the night she got back from Vancouver.

"This is more secure," Ethan supplied.

"Really?" she wondered. "How's that exactly?"

"I'm not sure when, but Laura scoped this place out, made sure it was safe," he provided as he held the door open for her.

"Miss Karnstein, we've been expecting you," a young, blonde, female nurse greeted. "Please, right this way," she said as she led them to an examine room, Carmilla flicking the lights off as they entered.

"Sorry," she offered, "I get really light sensitive when I have a migraine," she explained as she went to take a seat on the bed.

"I understand," the nurse replied. "The doctor will be in shortly."

"Can I get you anything?" Ethan offered as she laid down on the bed.

"McDonalds," she answered to his chuckle. "What?" she asked as she rubbed her head. "It settles my stomach and it's the only thing I can eat no matter how bad my stomach feels." She shook her head and propped herself up on her elbows. "A Quarter Pounder, medium fries and a small vanilla milkshake," he nodded. "And, if possible, a couple of heating pads."

"I'll see what I can do," he smiled.

"Wait a few hours on the food," she sighed. "My stomach is still gurgling." She sat up as the doctor entered, the same doctor she'd seen before. Which meant, unless she was mistaken, that Laura trusted him. She sighed. Somehow the thought comforted her.

"So, what's happening, Miss Karnstein?" he asked as he prepared to notes on his clipboard.

"Where do you want me to start?" she quipped.

"Let's start with the fainting," he suggested.

"I didn't actually faint," she clarified, "I'm assuming you already have my medical history," she replied to his nod. "Then you already know; I'm borderline hyperglycemic," she sighed. "But that isn't the biggest concern. I have Endometriosis," she supplied. "So, my family doctor has me on birth control, with no breaks, so I can limit the damage it does to my training."

"Damage?" the doctor questioned.

"Typically, my period knocks me on my ass for at least a day or two," she shook her head. "At worst, it'll knock me out for week."

"And do you usually get migraines with it?"

"No," she rubbed her temples. "This," she sighed, "this is something else. I have a few triggers; expensive chocolate, shellfish, MSG, cheap beer," she supplied. "None of which I've knowingly ingested in the last twenty-four hours."

"So, you think someone, essentially, poisoned you?"

"Yes," she stated. "The real question is, how?"

"It's being investigated," Ethan provided. "How do you think they managed it?"

"I'd like to think it was simply cross contamination," she answered and then continued when he seemed confused. "Maybe cooked something in a pan that someone had cooked seafood in and then wasn't properly cleaned," she shrugged. "It's happened a few times at restaurants but this," she rubbed her head, "this is like I sat down and had lobster. When I got sick before, the headache was mild and it was mostly an upset stomach. This feels like a pair of ice picks in my temples."

"And how do you usually cope with it?" the doctor asked.

"A lot of drugs," she joked, but when he didn't smile she explained. "Usually a butt load of ibuprofen, and muscles relaxants if I can do them legally, for the cramps. Gravol for the nausea. And acetaminophen, with caffeine if possible, for the migraine."

"Can I also suggest an IV?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "You seem a little dehydrated and we can give you dextrose to get your sugar levels back up until you can eat."

"Might also help flush out whatever is setting off the migraine," she added thoughtfully. "Fine," she sighed, "I suppose it'll get the drugs into my system faster too."

"I understand your hesitation…"

"Do you?" she interrupted.

"You have to make weight on Thursday, correct?" he asked.

"I'm more worried about how long you're going to keep me here," she differed.

"Well I'd like to run some tests," he replied pensively. "But I don't see any reason we shouldn't be able to get you out of here in a few hours."

"Any chance of getting a heating pad or two?"

"I think, maybe, a couple of nurses might have one in their lockers," he replied. "I'll ask around," he offered as he left.

She laid back down and then turned on her side and curled into a fetal position. The cramps weren't too bad, likely because her stomach was empty and the pain in her head was bad enough that it was distracting her, but she was still uncomfortable.

"Be right back," Ethan piped up as his cell phone rang.

"God, this sucks," she thought, tears welling in her eyes. "But," she thought with a chuckle, "she fucked up." Before she'd met Laura, something like this might have made her want to give up. Now? Now it just made her more determined. No, what was frustrating was that she couldn't really do anything about it. She was used to fighting. She'd been doing it all her life. But how do you fight your own body when it turns against you?

"Miss Karnstein?" a kind, female, voice prodded as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and found the same nurse that had greeted her when they came in holding a pair of heating pads. "I'll plug these in for you?" she offered.

"Thanks," Carmilla smiled. "I swear the heat helps more than the drugs," she joked as the nurse handed her the heating pads. She put one on the bed and the positioned herself so that it was on her lower back and then put the other on her lower stomach. "You here to take blood too?"

"And hook up your IV and give you your drugs," the nurse added after a nod.

Carmilla slipped her sweatshirt off her left arm and then watched as the nurse tied a rubber tube around her arm and then searched for a vein.

"My veins are small and deep," Carmilla commented. "You might want to take it from my hand."

"That'll hurt more," the nurse remarked.

"Hurts a lot less than you digging around for a vein," she teased.

"Maybe," the nurse chuckled, "but I'll be using your hand for the IV and," she smiled, "there's a nice big vein right here," she provided as she slipped a needle into her arm. "Needles don't bother you much, do they?"

"I've had a lot of blood tests the last few years," Carmilla supplied as the nurse put the last of several vials aside and reached for her hand.

"I need to check your blood sugar levels before the IV," she explained as she pricked her finger and then collected the drop of blood in the meter. "Kind of low but not abnormally so."

"I had a protein shake on the way here," Carmilla provided as the nurse turned her hand over and prepped her for the IV.

Once it was all hooked up and the drugs added she laid back down and let them wash over her, the Gravol sending her off into a light sleep.

She woke a few hours later to the sound of people talking quietly and the smell of food. She opened her eyes tentatively, pleased when the light didn't hurt as much. Since no one had noticed yet that she was awake, she took a few moments to assess her condition before clearing her throat to get their attention.

"Hey, kid, how ya feeling?" Dana asked as she sat up.

"Better," she supplied. "But considering how crappy I was feeling, that isn't saying much." She slipped her hat off. "The migraine is down to a dull roar; the nausea is all but gone and the cramps have slacked off to a dull ache."

"That's good," the doctor commented. "Your tests all came back normal, however, I'd like to keep you here overnight for observation."

"Observation?" she mocked and looked at Dana. "Laura's idea?" He nodded. "Why?"

"Doctor? If you'll excuse us?" The doctor nodded and took his leave. Dana walked over to the bed and then sat when Carmilla moved enough for him to sit. He handed her a bag of McDonalds food and her milkshake. "We've talked to the person responsible for handing out the medication," he began carefully. "It seems it was simply a mistake."

"Mistake?" Carmilla scoffed as she took the food out. "I watched Laura package my meds and read the letter of instructions from my doctor; explain to me how there could be a mistake."

"There was some concern that what you were taking wasn't actually birth control…"

"Why? Because lesbians don't usually need birth control?" she interjected.

"Well, there's that," he chuckled uncomfortably. "But it was more that they didn't come in the usual blister pack and they couldn't understand why you weren't taking a break from them."

"So, they decided to give me placebos without asking me?" she questioned incredulously. "And despite my doctor's instructions?" she added when he didn't have an answer. She shook her head. "That's how they got whatever set off my migraine into me!" she theorized.

"We're still looking into that," Dana replied carefully.

"Looking into it how, exactly?"

"Reviewing the footage."

"Right," she replied slowly. "Is that why Laura wants me to stay here tonight?"

"She's…" he sighed. "Concerned." He seemed to consider his next words before speaking again. "Do you think you'll be okay to fight Friday?"

"I might have a little more trouble making weight that usual," she replied. "And I might be a little slower than normal," she said thoughtfully. "But, given how I'm feeling right now, I should be able to get back to the gym tomorrow."

"That's good," he smiled as she bit into her hamburger. "Laura, she, um, wants to talk to you," he said hesitantly as he took his phone from his pocket.

"That's hardly fair," she commented once she swallowed.

"Fair?"

"Has anyone else gotten to talk to loved ones as much as I have?" she questioned and took a sip of her shake. "I mean, like ever? In the history of the show?"

"Well," he sighed, "no. But, to be fair, we've never had a fighter like you on the show before."

"Like me?" she scoffed.

"Let's see," he started. "You went home for two days because two people were killed. When you got back, your plane exploded. And now this," he indicated her. "Not to mention all the crap you've got going on home." He rubbed his face. "But here's the thing," he smiled, "I've only see a few fighters like you come through the house and I think it would be an incredible waste if you don't reach your full potential and I could have done something to help." He stood and started to pace as she continued to eat. "This, what's happening right now, shouldn't have happened," he turned back to her. "And I'll do whatever I can to limit its effect." He walked back and handed her his phone. "Call her once you're done eating," he instructed. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Dana?" she called to stop him at the door. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"I won't," she replied with a wink.

She looked at the phone in her hand once he left and was surprised to find it was her own phone. She shook her head and put it aside as she finished her food. As much as she wanted to talk to Laura, hear her voice, she was scared too. Every time they'd spoken since she'd gotten back had only left her with more and more confusing questions. With only four days left to go maybe it would be better not to talk to her? Carmilla sighed as she finished her food. There was only question she really wanted to ask and maybe, just maybe, Laura could answer it.

Further musing was cut short as her phone rang in her hand.

"Hey Kitten, how you feeling?" Laura asked.

"Better now that I'm hearing your voice," Carmilla replied with a smile. She put her food wrappers aside and laid on the bed with the phone cupped in both hands. "How are you doing?"

"Stressed," she admitted. "But that's nothing new." She sighed. "So, how are you feeling, physically?"

"My cramps aren't as bad as last time but that could have something to do with the drugs they gave me," she supplied. "The headache's down to a dull roar," she sighed. "Do I really have to spend the night here?" she whined playfully.

"I know you're not happy about it, but yes, I'm sorry, baby," she soothed. "There's a few things we need to arrange before you go back."

"It's only four more days," Carmilla pointed out. "What else could go wrong?"

"It's more that we're still trying to figure what set off your migraine and how they got it to you," Laura explained. "For example, we're going to have all your meals prepared off site and the rest of your food replaced and secured. All that takes a little time and planning to put in place." She sighed. "We just don't want to take any chances."

"Who's 'we'?"

"Me and Dana."

"So, you the one who explained to him how birth control pills usually work?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "The tech is adamant he did nothing wrong, only replaced your bottled pills with new ones…"

"And completely ignored my doctor's instructions," Carmilla added.

"Look, sweetie, we did everything we could to make sure Deanna couldn't reach, or compromise, Dana's staff. Most of them have been with the show for years but he still had thorough background checks done on everyone, including your fellow fighters. I brought those records home and went through them myself, nothing, and I mean nothing, stood out."

"But enough money can lure even the most honest and trustworthy of people," she commented.

"I know," Laura sighed. "Which is, pretty much, the same thing I told Dana." She chuckled, "He's almost as angry as I am." She paused a few moments before continuing; "You going to be okay to fight on Friday?"

"You already know I won last Friday?" she questioned.

"Yes, but I don't know how you won, who you fought or who you're fighting next," Laura replied. "You've already figured out that Ethan is in contact with me, and before you ask, yes, Dana knows."

"How did you talk him into that?"

"By telling him what was going in Vancouver and what I had planned," she sighed. "To be able to do what I had to, I needed to know you were okay."

"So, you were worried something like this might happen?"

"And you weren't?" Laura countered.

"Honestly?" Carmilla chuckled. "No."

"Really?"

"Yes," she smiled. "I don't how I knew, but I knew you'd be watching over me, just like you have been for awhile." She sat up and rubbed her face. "Look, Laura, you know I have a lot of questions and I'm not going to put you in the position of having to tell me, again, that you can't answer them yet."

"Really? Why?"

"Because I get it, I think," Carmilla provided. "And you can't risk Deanna finding out what you're doing. Given what's happened today, I'd say your caution is warranted. If you're able to get updates from inside the house, what's to say she isn't, right?"

"True."

"So, I'm only going to ask you one question…"

"Carm…"

"Please, Pup, let me finish," she urged, continuing when she heard Laura sigh. "Hey," she cooed, "I'm pretty sure this is one you can answer."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, she chuckled. "The thing that has been bugging me the most since I got back is," she sighed. "I don't how better to put it except, does the girl I fell in love with really exist? I mean, I know, almost literally, nothing about you; how am I supposed to believe that the girl I fell in love with isn't a lie, a façade, too?"

"Oh Carm," she sighed. "Am I scared that when you find out everything that you won't love me anymore, let alone like me?" She sniffed. "When we first met, yes, I was trying to act like the naïve little nineteen-year-old from a small town that I was presenting myself as but…"

"You changed," Carmilla finished for her.

"When I realized that I was in love with you and you felt the same," she sighed. "I knew I couldn't tell you the truth, not yet, but I knew I couldn't hope to have a future with you if I didn't start acting more like myself." She chuckled. "There was too much I was hiding from you that it got exhausting keeping up the act all the time."

"I bet," Carmilla agreed.

"Carm, I told you when you were home…"

"That just because I don't know everything about you, I still know you?"

"Exactly," Laura affirmed. "Everything I told you about my childhood, it's all true. I tried, really really tried, to be as honest with you as I could about myself. Most importantly, I do love you, so much."

"Yeah?"

"Gods, yes," Laura replied firmly. "You're like, I don't know, the axis that my world turns on."

"I love you too, Laura," Carmilla all but whispered.

"Yeah?" Laura asked hopefully.

"Yes," Carmilla assured her. "Despite my confusion, doubt and anger, yes," she sighed, "I can't change the way I feel."

"Anger?"

"You lied to me and manipulated me, of course I'm angry," she answered gently. "And no, we're not okay, not yet," she paused as she heard Laura sniffle. "But Pup? We will be."

"We will?"

"Maybe," Carmilla smiled. "Maybe not. But Laura? I'm not giving up on us, not now, not ever."

"No?"

"Not unless you tell me to."

"Not going to happen," Laura assured her.

"Good," she yawned despite herself; the combination of being in pain all day and the drugs in her system tiring her out. "I think, once you come totally clean, we should start over, sort of."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"If you promise to never lie to me again, I promise not to hold this over your head for the rest of our lives. Fair enough?"

"More than," Laura agreed. "Carm? Thank you for trying to understand, for not pushing it." She heard what sounded like Laura muffling her phone and then a few moments later she heard several sirens passing outside. She grinned; was Laura nearby? "I should let you get some rest. Good luck on Friday."

"Don't need luck," Carmilla joked. "I'm so pissed off right now she doesn't stand a chance." She considered asking Laura if she was in Vegas but opted not to put her in that position. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Laura sighed. "I love you."

"I love you too baby," she smiled. "I'll see you in four days?"

"A little over ninety-six hours," Laura agreed. "Now get some rest before you fall asleep talking to me."

"Yes, dear," she replied sweetly and laid back down on her side. "Take care."

"You too, Kitten," Laura answered. "Kick ass, okay?"

"Always," Carmilla yawned. "Bye."

"Bye baby, see you soon."

Carmilla sighed as the line went dead. She considered trying to call Dark, but given she shouldn't have even been talking to Laura, she felt guilty even thinking of making another call. She put her heating pads back in place and sighed again. Of course, she had more questions, she knew she would. But the fact that Laura might be in Vegas answered a few. Laura wouldn't have been able to leave Vancouver if she hadn't been cleared of any wrongdoing in Will's death. Not to mention things with Deanna would have to be calm enough for her to leave. Both of which she considered good news.

Carmilla had always placed more value in actions over words. Perhaps that was why, in a way, she'd been relieved when Deanna's abuse turned physical. _That_ she could understand. _That_ she could do something about. _That_ she could defend herself against. Or try to anyway.

Whatever happened today, Laura was here, personally taking of it, and that, more than anything Laura had said, soothed her doubts. While she still questioned Laura's methods, and yes, maybe her motives, everything she'd done, every action, only proved how much she cared about her.

With that thought she drifted off into a dreamless sleep, finally reassured, that although she still wasn't sure how well she knew the woman she loved, she was sure that Laura loved her.

* * *

A few hours later Carmilla woke as she heard someone moving around the room. Assuming it was just Dana returning to grab her cell phone, she feigned sleep until she felt someone gently moved the hair from her face.

"Laura?" she stammered as she opened her eyes.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Laura answered and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Are you really here?" she asked as she sat up and drew her into her arms.

"No," Laura sighed, "you're dreaming."

"You shouldn't be here," Carmilla commented as she leaned back to see her face. "Why are you here? I mean, here, as in the hospital?"

"You already figured out I was in Vegas?" Laura shook her head when she nodded. She stepped out of her arms and reached into her backpack. "I just wanted you to have this," she supplied as she handed her a large stuffed black panther, "to keep you company tonight," she smiled as Carmilla took it from her. "And until Friday."

Carmilla hugged the toy her chest, smiled and then put it aside to hold Laura again.

"And how do I explain where it came from?" Carmilla questioned.

"You don't know," Laura replied and prompted her to meet her eyes. "If you hadn't woken up you would have woken up with it and not have known where it came from." She smiled. "Dana was going to tell you I had it couriered down." She kissed her softly. "If you suspected I was here, why didn't you ask?"

"I didn't want you to have to lie to me."

"And I promise I never will again," she kissed her forehead. "Well, maybe not never."

"No?"

"Well, say you really like a piece of clothing and you ask me if it looks good when it doesn't," she speculated. "I might not tell you the whole truth."

"I'd rather you did," Carmilla countered. "But I suppose complete and utter honesty isn't always the best policy either." She hugged Laura close. "I wish you could go back to the house with me."

"Me too," Laura laughed, "But I should go," she leaned back and kissed her again. "You weren't supposed to see me."

"I'm glad I did."

"Yeah," Laura kissed her softly, lingering until the kiss deepened. "So am I," she sighed.


	19. A Long Day

Then

(Five Weeks Five Days Ago)

When they'd gotten home on Friday, Steven and Betty were giving Laura the silent treatment. Danny and Dark weren't saying much either. She wasn't sure if it was because they were afraid to say something the Xanders didn't know, or if it was because, given what she'd told them on the plane, they didn't know what to say.

She'd spent the rest of the day in Carmilla's office drinking and setting up her crime board. Well, it was supposed to be a board, by the time she was done, she'd covered three of the four walls with all the evidence and theories she'd collected. It was overwhelming. She sat, staring at the wall, trying to make sense of everything when she was startled by her watch's alarm.

Laura had collected her cigarettes, journal and made herself another stiff drink before heading up to the roof. She'd just gotten comfortable and lit her cigarette when her alarm sounded again. She sighed and looked up to the moon, the tears stinging her eyes finally falling. She'd never gotten around to writing anything. It wasn't that she didn't have the words but that there was too much she wanted to say and she had no clue where to start.

The same thing happened on Saturday night. After another day of drinking while she rearranged the crime board so that it was in chronological order, she'd retired to the roof only to again give up after staring at a blank page for more than a half hour.

She slept in on Sunday. After spending most of the last two days drunk it had finally caught up to her. Laura got up, showered, and hit the gym for several hours trying to refocus her attention on the task at hand; ending Deanna. The first step was bringing her father and Rick up to speed. After taking another shower she made herself something to eat and then retired to Carmilla's office again.

Laura worked on her plans until she was again startled by her watch's alarm. She gathered her things, texted Kirsch to meet her on the roof, retrieved Carmilla's bottle of Patron and headed up the stairs to the roof. She dropped her cigarettes and journal on her chair and then headed over to the bar to grab two glasses. She added ice and split the last of the Tequila between them just as she heard the elevator open behind her.

"Hey Laura," Kirsch greeted as he walked up behind her. "What's up?" he asked as she handed him a glass. "Seriously?" he questioned skeptically. "Carm never lets me have her Patron."

"It's from the plane," Laura shrugged. "I already asked the crew to grab her a new bottle." She motioned him to a chair and then starred into her glass as she tried to find the courage to tell Kirsch what she had to. She took a sip of her Tequila, wincing as it burned its way down her throat.

"Laura, what's going on?" he prodded. "I know you all think I'm stupid, or that I'm not good at math…"

"Kirsch, stop!" she interrupted. "There are many words I'd use to describe you but 'stupid' definitely isn't one of them." He looked to her, his cheeks red and a small smile on his face. "You've been practically running this place for the last couple of months on your own," she smiled as she reached over and gave his wrist a squeeze. "There's something," she sighed. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Does this have something to do with why you didn't warn me about me Will?" he asked with an edge.

"I wasn't sure about Will," she deflected but could see it wasn't working. She took another sip of her drink and then took out a cigarette and lit it. "I knew your Dad," she provided quietly. "He made me promise to keep you safe," she admitted as she met his eyes. "The best way for me to do that, unfortunately, was to keep you in the dark."

"Is that why you didn't let me go the Press Conference pre-meeting?"

"No," she replied. "That was Carm's choice."

"Don't I get a say?" he replied angrily and then made the mistake of gulping down the rest of his drink. He stood and started coughing while Laura ran to grab him a bottle of water. He managed to stop coughing long enough to catch his breath and then swallowed half a bottle of water, tears streaming down his face. Laura rubbed his back while he drank the rest of the water. He shrugged her off as he wiped the tears from his face and grabbed a beer from the fridge. "Want one?" he offered, his voice hoarse.

"Corona, please," she replied and returned to her seat. "You okay?" He nodded and sipped his beer as he sat down. "Look, Kirsch…"

"I don't mind if you call me 'Brody'," he interrupted.

"I thought that bugged you?"

"It used to," he shrugged. "When Will and Carm first moved in," he shook his head. "I was jealous of all the attention my Dad was giving them," he admitted. "But then I started to get to know them and I realized they needed my Dad more than I did."

"See?" Laura again took his wrist. "Not stupid," she teased. "There's another reason I've tried to keep you out of this," she looked down and took another sip of her Tequila for courage. "Maybe its selfish," she admitted, "but when Carm gets home she's going to quickly figure out that almost everyone knows more than she does and I want her to have at least one person she can tell." She met his eyes. "But there is something you deserve to hear first."

"Is this about my parents' divorce?" he guessed. "Look, I know Deanna probably gave my Mom money, but the truth is, she was miserable. She wanted out for years," he shrugged. "Deanna just gave her the chance to do it."

"Brody," she sighed, "I'm pretty sure she killed your Dad."

"But he died of an anu… anu… you know, the brain thing," he stuttered.

"Your Dad had been on anti-coagulants for almost a year," she explained. "Just after he died I met with Dark and asked him to bring me all his medications," she shook her head. "Someone switched his medication and he'd been on blood thickeners for at least four months."

"Someone? You mean Will?" he queried.

"Very likely," she sighed. "Brody, I'm sorry, I should have been keeping a better eye on him."

"But why kill my Dad?"

"Why does Deanna do anything?" she countered. "To mess with Carm. Everything she's done in the last six months was to keep Carm from being successful on the show." She sighed. "Even going after Danny."

"Why are all the smart, hot, amazing girls I know into other girls?" he joked.

"You'll find someone one day," she assured him. "Look," she smiled, "how would like to be on the next Ultimate Fighter in your weight class?"

"You can do that?" he blurted.

"Maybe," she smiled. "If…" he interrupted her with a hug. "If," she said more firmly as she pushed him away. "If you commit to it."

"Commit to it?" he questioned.

"No more drinking. No more weed. Training five days a week," she smiled as his face fell with each condition. "And you need to start taking classes at the school where I got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Your wrestling and grappling are both good but your striking needs work. Tae Kwon Do will hone your striking and teach you some much needed discipline."

"You really think I can do it?"

"I do," she assured him. "If you want it bad enough and put in the work." She smiled. "I got Carm on the show," she shrugged and smiled at his surprise. "If she does well and goes through on her plan to invite some her cast mates here to train for the finale," she punched him in the arm. "and if you can win your next couple of fights," she smiled. "Yeah, I think that, not only can you get on the show, you could even win it." He hugged her again. "Stop!" She laughed. "Maybe I'll even put in a good word or two with Dana."

"Laura, thank you!" He couldn't stop grinning. "I know you're worried about what's going to happen when Carm gets back," he said more seriously. "You really shouldn't."

"No?"

"She loves you," he declared. "I've known her, spent time with her, for almost four years," he smiled as he reached out and rubbed her arm. "I've never seen her as happy as she's been since she met you." He nodded. "You'll be okay."

"I hope so," she sighed and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you, Brody."

"You going to be okay up here alone?" he questioned as he studied her.

She nodded and hugged him again; she couldn't trust her voice. She knew if she spoke aloud what she was feeling, she'd lose it. Brody went to get himself another beer from the fridge and then made his way downstairs as she let the tears course down her face. Laura didn't know why what Brody had said had gotten to her, she'd heard the same from just about everyone at one point or another.

Laura lay down on her on side and pulled her knees to her chest as she started to weep. "I can't lose her," she thought. "I can't, I just…" she choked out. Maybe it was Brody's innocence. His earnestness that everything would be okay despite being fully aware he had no clue what was going on. He had only ever seen their relationship for what it was; something that was making his friend very happy. He didn't see the lies, the manipulations and everything else that was also a part of their relationship. Brody only saw the good. As she cried herself to sleep she hoped that Carmilla would remember too.

* * *

Laura woke the next morning, her head aching and quickly realized she was in her bed, a warm, and very real, body curled up behind her. She pushed Luna from the crook of her arm so she could see the arm that was under head and recognized Danny's freckles. She rolled to her back and rubbed her face; she had no idea how she gotten to bed or why Danny was in it with her and holding her while she slept.

"'morning," Danny mumbled and rolled to her back. "Guess you're wondering how you made it to bed?"

"Among other things," Laura joked as she sat up, stretched, and noticed she was still wearing the same clothes she'd had on the night before minus her bra and shorts.

"Sorry," Danny blushed, "I thought you'd sleep better if you were more comfortable." She smiled and sat up. "You okay?" she asked as she rubbed her back.

"Not really," Laura sighed. "You come up and get me?"

"Yes," Danny supplied. "Around one Dark came by asking if I'd seen you so we went upstairs and found you passed out and shivering. Dark carried you down, I made you more comfortable and covered you with every blanket I could find but you were still shivering so Dark suggested I get in with you until you warmed up." She smiled and looked down at her hands. "I was already ready for bed so I crawled in with you. You stopped shivering after a while but when I tried to leave you grabbed my arm and mumbled something that sounded like 'stay'," she shrugged. "So, I thought I'd stay and try again later but I fell asleep."

"Danny?" Laura prompted as she took her wrist and rubbed it with her thumb. She waited until Danny met her eyes. "Thank you." Danny smiled. "And I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For putting you in that position, I know it…"

"Laura, stop," Danny interrupted. "I was just doing what Carm asked me to do," she smiled. "Taking care of you." She shrugged. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Well, thanks," Laura sighed, looked at the clock and rubbed her face. "I'm meeting my Dad and Rick in about an hour."

"I'll make breakfast," Danny offered as she followed her out of bed. "You need a shower."

"You saying I stink?" Laura chuckled.

"I'm not the one that smells like a Tequila factory," Danny teased as she pulled her into a hug. "It's going to be okay, Laura, you have to believe that."

"I'm trying," Laura sighed and pushed her away. "Go on, I need to get my head together before I see them," she said as she ushered Danny out of the bedroom, closed the door behind her, gathered the clothes she wanted to wear and then stripped off her dirty clothes as she made her way to the bathroom.

She wasn't looking forward to meeting with her father and Rick; it was time to fill them in on the plan. If they were going to take her seriously she had to pull herself together. Laura had given herself the weekend to fall apart. She needed it. She'd been holding herself together for weeks. Every day she'd spent with Carmilla had been bittersweet as it meant it was one day closer to her leaving for six weeks. With every passing day, the struggle to appear normal grew more difficult. The strain of lying and the sheer weight of those lies, had started to break her down. For her to be strong enough to finish what she'd started, she had to let herself break before she could put herself back together. She'd been playing the role of Laura Hollis, naïve, nineteen-year-old journalism student, for too long. It was time to remember who she was; a cop. And a damned good one.

Laura finished her shower, dried off and then went to study herself in the mirror. It was time to share her suspicions with her two closest allies. The only two people she could fully trust. She chuckled at the irony. Her father had been lying to her for her whole life. His lies had cost her mother's life and been endangering hers for almost twenty years. But she had little choice, she needed his help. The hardest thing she had to tell them was her suspicions about Frank. If she was right, and she sadly suspected she was, they had a much bigger problem on their hands. Namely, whether Deanna knows that Bill is alive or not.

As she pulled on her jeans she ran through all the reasons she no longer trusted Frank. Deanna was always one step ahead of them which meant she had better source of information than Will. The fact that she'd yet to even try to see Will all but confirmed it. If Frank was keeping her updated, she had no need, she already knew what was going on.

Laura pulled on her tank top and slipped into a light blue fitted shirt. She went to check herself in the mirror; "There I am," she sighed as she pulled her hair back in a ponytail. It was easier to remember who she was if she looked more like the woman she used to be. She sat on the bed to pull on her socks and motorcycling riding boots; she had an errand to run once she was done her meeting and she was looking forward to finally trying out her new Ducati Monster.

She smiled as she thought of her new sport bike. She bought it with the winnings from her fight but she hadn't gotten a chance to ride it except for the trip from the dealership to her storage locker. She wanted the bike but wanted to wait to ride it until she could take it for a decent trip. Today's 'errand' definitely qualified.

Laura went to join Danny for breakfast and was surprised to find her father and Rick drinking coffee at the table while Danny finished making their food. She made herself a cup of coffee before joining them at the table.

"How you holding up, kiddo?" Rick greeted.

"I'm fine," she stated. "Why are you guys here so early?"

"You need to come down to the station at ten," Rick informed him as he fished something from his pocket. He looked at it a moment and then handed it to her. "I have to officially give you that and announce your promotion."

"Promotion?" Danny asked as she set down a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast in front of her.

"To head of the task force," Rick smiled as Laura finished reading her letter, "The Deanna Karnstein Task Force."

"That isn't what it's actually called," Laura laughed. "But it means I get to pick my team and insulate all of them from any fallout from being involved," Laura clarified as she handed the letter back to Rick. "Can this wait?"

"Not really," he frowned. "Everyone's already gathering for the Press Conference."

"Press Conference? Really?" Laura questioned, clearly perplexed.

"You said you wanted her scared," her father offered. "You said you wanted to stop hiding…"

"But it's too soon," Laura countered as she stood and went to grab her phone from the charger. She texted Betty on her way back to the table and then picked up her plate and coffee. "Let's move this to the office, shall we?" They both nodded and after refilling their coffees headed that way. "Can you ask Betty to join us in the office when she gets her?" she asked Danny and then went to join her father and Rick once she'd nodded. She placed her plate on the table and then turned to studied the two men in front of her. "Yes, I want her scared, not panicked," she informed them. "The second she panics any chance of finding the evidence to end her for good goes up in smoke," she shook her head. "In her case, probably literally."

She was saved further explanation by Betty's knock on the office door.

"You okay?" Laura asked as she regarded her friend; she was pale and slightly perspiring.

"Morning sickness," Betty supplied with a weak smile.

"Really?" Laura blurted happily as she hugged her. "Congratulations!" She pushed her away and held her at arm's length. "Does Steven know?" She nodded. "I'm so happy for you." She smiled. "But, uh, I need you to tell them what you told me."

"As you know," Betty started with a sigh as she took a seat, "I never meant to be a cop. I was a couple months into my first law job, assistant to a prominent lawyer," she shook her head. "He sent me for coffee and when I came back the door was ajar," she took a shaky breath. "She was accusing him of…" she took a deep breath. "She said she had proof, photos, showing he'd molested Carmilla." The two men exchanged a look. "Deanna rushed out, nearly knocked me over in the process, took one look at me and stormed off." She looked down at her hands. Laura, knowing what came next, went to put a hand on her shoulder in support. "I was still staring at the elevator when he shot himself. I rushed in, found him dead and I took the pictures." She shrugged. "He was already dead, I didn't see any point in ruining his reputation as well."

"Thanks Betty," Laura said to finally break the uncomfortable silence. "Mind if I borrow Steven for a couple hours?"

"What do you need him for?" Betty questioned as she stood.

"Just a lift to my storage locker to pick up one of my bikes," she smiled at the thought of her black Ducati. "I forgot something up at the cabin and I thought it would be fun to take my bike for the trip."

"Laura…" she could hear the warning in Rick's voice.

"Fine," Laura sighed. "Can I borrow Steven for most of the day?"

"I suppose," she shrugged.

"He can follow me up and back," she provided and then looked to her father. "But I'm still riding my bike." She looked back to Betty. "Tell him we leave in a half hour." Betty nodded and left. She took two photos from a folder on the desk, each of them in their own evidence bags. She handed them to Rick, who immediately looked sick at the images as he passed them to her father. "Carmilla doesn't remember any of it," she informed them as she took the pictures back from her father. "The blood tests they did the night she and Will ran away," she started as she took her seat. "Aside from high levels of Morphine in her blood she had all the same markers Will had a couple of weeks ago. The hospital assumed they'd taken them willingly and subsequent blood tests showed the drugs working their ways out of her system."

"What are you getting at?" Rick questioned.

"What if Betty's boss wasn't the only one Deanna used this tactic on?" She got up, studied the crime board a moment and then started to pace. "I think Deanna used Carm to blackmail the people she needed to. Furthermore, I don't think either Carm or Deanna's victims were aware of what was happening."

"You think the pictures were staged?" Rick asked as he reached for the photos again.

"Yes," she replied. "And doctored. The drugs would explain Carm's lack of memories while the fact that nothing actually happened keeps her from suffering the usual symptoms of sexual abuse." She shook her head. "Carm is always bragging that Deanna never found more than a third of Bill's hidden passageways and rooms." She turned and met their eyes. "I wonder if the same can't be said for Carm? What if Deanna found rooms that Carm didn't?" She looked from one to the other. "That's why we can't tip Deanna off until we're ready."

"This have something to do with your 'errand'?" her father asked, an odd expression on his face.

"Bill is…"

"Wait, Bill? As in Bill Karnstein?" Rick interjected.

"I met him when he came to warn me about the Jeep," she sighed and again noticed the odd expression on her father's face. "What?" He shook his head. "Are you really going to continue keeping secrets from me?"

"So, that's where you're going? To see Bill? You think he has the blueprints?" her father deflected. She nodded and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why do you have to go up there personally?"

"Because I'm scaring Deanna in my own way," she smiled. "By showing her I'm not afraid of her." She regarded her father a moment and then looked at Rick. "Can you give us a minute?" Rick nodded. "Look, we have to hold off on this until we're ready to search the estate…"

"What about your friends on the inside? Haven't they found anything?" Rick asked as he stood.

"They haven't been looking," she provided. "We couldn't do anything to tip her off. All I asked them to do was keep an eye on her, get to know her habits, nothing more. Please Rick, until we have an excuse to search her place and we can ensure we do a thorough job…"

"Fine," he sighed. "Fine, we'll postpone."

"Thank you," she replied gratefully, hugged him briefly and then ushered him out. She closed the door behind him and then turned on her father. "What aren't you telling me?"

"The night we met with Bill," he started, unable to meet her eyes. "After you left I noticed a picture, a recent picture," he took a deep breath. "I think Carmen is alive."

"You must be joking," she stammered. He shook his head. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"One less lie for you to tell Carmilla?"

"No!" she hissed. "That is not a card you get to play! You have been lying to me my whole life!" She picked up her mug, swallowed the rest of her coffee and then threw and smashed it against the wall. "What else aren't you telling me?" When he still wouldn't answer, she gave him an ultimatum; "Fine, don't tell me right now," she went to stand in front of him. "but if you don't tell me when I get back, we're done. Do you understand me?"

"Laura, I…"

"No," she cut him off. "I'm done with your lies and your excuses." She eyed him a moment. "One more chance, that's all you get," she paused to let that set it, "don't take it and I want you out of my life. We're done."

She didn't give him a chance to reply, she was in no mood to hear what he had to say, and stormed from the office to find Steven and Rick talking quietly in the living room.

"Everything okay?" Rick questioned carefully.

"No," she replied and looked to Steven. "You up for a road trip?"

"Do I have a choice?" he joked, his tone light despite the underlying tension in his stance.

"Entirely up to you," she replied with an edge. "Rick seems to think I need my back watched, if you disagree you're more than welcome to only drive me to pick up my bike." She smiled but there was no humor in it. "In fact, why don't you and Betty follow me in the Compass and Betty can drive the Mini back here? I'm really not in the mood for company."

"Fine," Steven sighed with a look at Rick. "I had nothing planned for today anyway."

"Can you call Kenny?" she asked Rick. "Ask him," she sighed. "Never mind," she shook her head, "I'll call him." She headed into the spare room to collect her riding clothes and sat on the bed to call Kenny. "Hey Kenny," she greeted.

"Laura, so nice to hear from you," he replied warmly. "How are the little monsters doing?"

"They're good," she chuckled. "I'll be up there this afternoon, can you ask your brother if he can get me the blueprints for the estate."

"Sure thing," he answered. "We're working on the road in, you should have no trouble driving in."

"How come?"

"I convinced Carmilla when you guys were leaving," he supplied. "If she wants to start building up here in a couple months the trucks will need a decent road in."

"Okay, next question," she smiled. "I'm riding my bike up, think it'll make it?"

"Half the road is loose gravel, take it slow and you should be fine," he offered. "What time should I expect you?"

"Let's see," she looked at her watch, it was almost nine. "Hopefully by four?"

"Okay, we'll see you then."

Laura hung up the phone and sighed; it was going to be a long day. She smiled; at least she could shut it all off for a little while. Riding her new Ducati, or any bike really, at the speeds she was planning on, would take all her concentration. Everything else would just have to wait.

* * *

They'd been on the road for almost four hours when Laura noticed Steven's high beams in her mirror. She slowed slightly and looked over her shoulder as he got closer and nodded when she saw him motioning to the side of the road. They'd planned before they left, if they needed to communicate, they'd get the other's attention and then take the next exit.

As she glided down the off ramp she glanced at her fuel gauge and decided to take the opportunity to fill up for the ride home. She pulled into the gas station and up to the pump, Steven pulling up on the opposite side. Laura stepped off her bike, took off her helmet and set it on the bike.

"What's up?" she greeted once Steven had rolled down his window.

"We're being…" he trailed off as they both jumped from an explosion back on the highway. "Shit," he hissed.

"Go see what happened," she ordered. "I need to get gas, I'll call Rick." He nodded and drove off as she dialed Rick. "I take it you know we were being followed?"

"You okay?"

"We're fine but it sounds like they blew themselves up," she provided to his sharp intake of breath.

"Steven noticed him just after Horseshoe Bay," he supplied calmly. "But wanted to wait until we could get some cars in place and get you to a more remote location. Look," he sighed, "the two of you keep going, stay overnight and come back in the morning."

"No," Laura sighed as Steven drove back towards her. "I want to come back tonight but I'll leave my bike there and drive back with Steven."

"Fine," he replied, somewhat tersely. "At least give me a couple of hours to arrange an escort."

"I really don't think…"

"Laura," he interrupted. "If anything happens to you, Carm will kill me."

"Fine," she conceded. "We're about an hour away from the cabin but we'll take it slow and call you before we head back." She looked at Steven as he walked towards her. "Want to talk to Steven?"

"Sure."

"It's Rick," she informed him as she handed him her cell.

"No," Steven told him as she took off her gas cap, "no one was hurt. Well, except for the driver." He paused as Rick asked him something. "No, it blew when he shut off the engine, they hadn't even gotten out of their cars yet." He looked her way. "Understood," he said, ended the call, and handed her back her phone. "He told me to do whatever I have to do to make sure you don't ride back. Up to, and including, handcuffing you and throwing you over my shoulder."

"That won't be necessary," she laughed as she started filling her tank. "I'm way too tired to ride back."

"You going to be okay for the rest of the trip?" he asked as he studied her. "I mean, Deanna did just try to kill you…"

"This wasn't Deanna," Laura corrected. "Call Rick back, tell him to track down Nancy."

"You really think she's capable of something like this?"

"With Deanna's help?" She shrugged and placed the hose back. "It's too clumsy to be Deanna. Following us all this way without making a move? No," she shook her head, "she might have Deanna's help, but this was personal." She recapped her gas tank and looked towards the highway. "And don't worry, you won't get a fight from me," she looked back to him, "I haven't the energy to ride home. You be okay to drive back?"

"Rick said to give him a couple hours, I'll grab a nap and then you can sleep for part of the drive back. If I get too tired you can take over; deal?"

"Deal," she agreed. "I have to go pay for my gas, want anything?"

"Coffee," he answered. "I'll be in the truck."

"So much for a simple road trip," she thought and made her way inside. She grabbed herself a bottle of water and went to make Steven's coffee. The main reason she didn't think this was Deanna's idea, was the timing. Sure, she had to be worried about Carmilla telling her story, but if Carmilla had kept to her plan, it was already too late. No, if she'd been successful and killed her, Laura's death would only add more weight to her plight. Nancy had confessed to the thing at the hotel and lost her job there as a result; she had nothing left to lose.

After she'd taken Steven his coffee she drank down her bottle of water as she walked back to her bike. Although her riding leathers were practical, they were also very warm and already soaked with sweat. She wouldn't consider riding without them, though. They weren't regular riding leathers but reinforced with bullet proof material. If she did have an accident, even at the speeds she'd been riding, she might have broken bones but at least she wouldn't be covered in road rash.

By the time they got back on the road the fire trucks had arrived and were dousing what was left of the car that had been following them. Laura resisted the urge to question the attending officers and set off for the cabin, the rest of the trip passing without so much as seeing another car. They made their way slowly along the gravel road, Steven stopping about halfway to keep an eye on the road and take a nap.

She pulled up outside Kenny's house, shut off her engine and took her helmet off. She took a deep breath and slipped off her jacket before stepping off her bike. She took a towel from her saddle bags and wiped the sweat from her face, arms, and chest before taking Carmilla's red flannel shirt and slipping it on over her shoulders. She took the collar and held it to her nose, inhaled deeply and smiled; it still smelled of her. Last, she slipped out of her chaps and laid them over her bike as well.

Laura made her way towards the house, Kenny coming out the front door as she approached.

"Beer?" he offered, a cold Corona in his hand. "Looks like you could use it," he joked as he handed it to her.

"Thanks," she chuckled as she pushed the lime into the bottle. She took a long swallow and sighed; "Though, after the day I've already had, something stronger would be appreciated."

"Rum and coke?" he suggested, she nodded. "Bill's waiting for you around back."

"Thanks, Kenny," she smiled. "Would you mind storing my bike for a," she shook her head, "I don't know when I'll have time to come back to get it but I don't have the energy to ride back."

"One of the boys has a pick-up, he can follow you back with it," he suggested.

"That would be great," she said as she surprised him with a hug. "Thanks."

Laura made her way to the back of house, stopping for a few moments to admire and pet the three horses tethered at the side of the house. She was pondering why there was three horses as she rounded the corner and stopped dead in her tracks; sitting at the table, next to Bill, was a woman who looked just like her girlfriend, only twenty, or so, years older. On her other side sat a woman who seemed familiar but she didn't immediately recognize.

As she walked towards them, the unknown woman kissed the woman she assumed was Carmilla's mother on the cheek, whispered something in her ear and then headed into the house.

"Carmen Karnstein, I presume?" she asked as she took a seat from across them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Laura," she replied and held her hand out to shake Laura's. "Are you hungry?" she offered and indicated a sandwich and salad.

"I am, thank you," she smiled, pulled the plate toward her and took a bite of the sandwich. "Hmm, tequila chicken," she commented happily.

"I'm surprised you recognize it," Bill chuckled. "We found the recipe online but it still doesn't taste like Millie's."

"That's because Carm makes it wrong," she replied to their bemusement. "She misread the recipe and was making it with a teaspoon and a half of Cumin instead of a tablespoon and a half. She told me she made it the right once and figured out she liked it better wrong." She shrugged. "She has a bit of a sensitive stomach." She regarded them a moment. "So, someone going to explain how you're sitting here?" she asked with a nod to Carmilla's mother. "And who that woman is?"

Before either of them could answer Kenny joined them with the Laura's drink.

"Bill, dear, why don't you head inside? Let us girls have a little chat?" Carmen asked sweetly and received his nod. They watched him as he left with Kenny, Laura downing the last of her beer so she could enjoy her rum and coke. "I take it your father told you what happened before the accident?"

"That Deanna drugged the two of you and I have a half-brother who's a psychotic little shit as a result?"

"Well, there's that," she sighed and looked down at her hands. "No, I'm talking about the night of the accident." Laura shook her head. "I asked your dad to meet me," she shook her head and looked off into the distance. "Bill and I were having problems long before Deanna ever interfered. I met your Dad that night, begged him to leave your Mother and you, and run away with me. He, uh, refused." She sighed and looked back to her. "I left and that's the last thing I remembered for six years. I woke up, a year later, in a private hospital in Austria, no memory of what happened," she finally looked back to Laura. "And no memory of who I was. Nothing, blank slate." She shook her head. "A few months later a package came; everything I needed to start a new life. Money, identification, everything." Laura reached over and took her hand. "Don't be too hard on your father, he was just trying to help me."

"You think my Dad saved you?" Laura scoffed. "Maybe he got you out of the car, but there's no way he could have afforded what you've described." She shook her head. "No, if it was anyone, it was your dear Bill."

"Maybe you're right," she sighed. "Guess we'll be having a little chat later," she ran her hands through her hair. "Anyway," she shook her head, "I got on with my life, or tried to, over the next six years, little bits kept coming back to me but it wasn't until we, my girlfriend Jan and I…"

"I'm sorry, girlfriend?" Laura blurted.

"That lovely woman who was here when you arrived," she supplied. "She was a doctor at the hospital," she smiled. "Helped me through my recovery," she shrugged. "We stayed in touch after I left the hospital, one thing led to another," she shook her head again. "Anyway, we were watching a movie where Vancouver was actually Vancouver and something, I don't know, clicked, and I knew I had to visit Vancouver. A couple days later we were on a plane to Vancouver," she smiled. "As soon as I saw the mountains again everything came rushing back. By the time we got to the airport I was a mess. Jan got us a hotel room and held me while I cried. Once I stopped we checked out my family on the internet." She looked off to the distance again. "They seemed… happy. I couldn't," she sighed. "I disappeared on them, how could I ruin their lives?" She looked back to Laura. "So, Jan and I took the next flight home and I tried to forget who I was and what I'd left behind but then I saw something in the paper about Bill's death about a year after it happened. I always loved it up here so I came up, with Jan, to say goodbye." She looked towards the house as Bill and Jan returned. "Kenny greeted me at the gate and brought me in to see Bill."

"I was still recovering," Bill continued. "Couldn't walk," he smiled and ran his thumb over her cheek. "I was ready to give up," he smiled. "And then she walked in."

Laura got up and walked away to pace. She stopped and regarded them.

"So, what? You've been hiding up here ever since?" Laura questioned, they didn't answer. "Living your happy little lives while your children suffered at Deanna's hands?" she prodded.

"Not exactly," Bill sighed with a glance at Jan.

"The relationship we have is…" Jan searched for the right word.

"Complicated?" Laura provided.

"When we found Bill, we stayed to help him recover," Carmen supplied. "I couldn't imagine my life without Jan but the longer I spent with Bill, the more the feelings resurfaced," she laced her fingers with Jan's. "They both realized I was happier with the other in my life too, so first we came to a compromise. And then, when we figured out what Deanna was doing…"

"That's where I know you from!" Laura slapped herself in the forehead. "You were a friend of Deanna's!"

" _Were_ , being the operative word," Jan supplied. "I was never her friend. No, I worked my way into her inner circle, got invited into her home," she smiled. "Helped get Carmilla and Will off the drugs long enough for them to break free." She shook her head. "For four years, we were separated, we couldn't risk Deanna finding them." She indicated Bill and Carmen. "I helped them get out and then I came home."

"And I had Frank hire your father to watch over them while we planned our next move," Bill finished.

"And that would be what, exactly?" Laura questioned as she sat across from them again.

"These," Bill offered as he handed her a blue tube, "are the blueprints for the estate. And these," he took two USB keys from his pocket, "should be more than enough evidence to bring Deanna down."

"Why not give me this sooner?" Laura questioned as she took the USB keys from him.

"Because I would have had to explain how I got it," he provided with a nod to Jan. "And I didn't want to give you more lies to tell."

"Gee, thanks," she muttered and gulped the last of her drink. "How does this work," she pointed between the three of them, "exactly?"

"Jan is my wife," Carmen replied with a smile, "legally, and Bill is my, for lack of a better term, boyfriend." She smiled. "They don't have a relationship beyond friendship, if that's what you're wondering." She looked at Bill. "Laura brought up a good point; did you know I was alive?" He nodded slowly. "Why?" She took her hand from his. "Why do any of it?"

"What I'd like to know," Laura interjected, "was how long you were planning your death."

"A couple of weeks at most," he supplied with a frown. "What are you getting at?"

"You were supporting your supposedly dead wife, for starters, without Deanna's knowledge," she looked around. "And the three of you seem to be living pretty comfortably." She focused her glare on Bill. "How long were you stocking away money?"

"My whole life," he replied with a laugh, taking them all by surprise. "Remember my paranoid relative?" Laura nodded. "He started a hidden fund, kept safe within the mountain, that every senior Karnstein has added to ever since. There was more than two million dollars in it before I started to contribute. Some cash, but mostly gold, silver, bearer bonds and the like." He took a deep breath and looked at Carmen. "Mark rescued you from the car," he explained. "I knew someone had tried to kill you, I wanted to keep you safe until I could figure out who." He looked back to Laura. "Yes, your father knew she was alive but he didn't know she was here, or that her memory returned." He looked back to her. "I knew you came back to Vancouver but had left again right away," he shrugged. "I saw you, the two of you together," he looked down. "You seemed happy," he looked back at them. "I still loved you," he smiled. "I never stopped loving you but I had to keep you safe, the best way to do that was to keep you dead." He shook his head. "That wasn't the plan," he admitted. "I didn't know if you'd ever wake up but I thought, I planned, to get you back, start over with the kids. But you woke up without your memory so I thought, maybe the next best thing would be to let you have a good life without danger."

"This is all very," she waved her hands about, "fascinating. But I still don't understand how you could continue your lives while your children suffered."

"Deanna is very good at covering her tracks and is incredibly distrustful," Jan chuckled humorlessly. "It was almost two years before I found out anything and then we worked to get them free."

Before Laura could question them further her phone rang.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Time to head back," Steven informed her. "I'm heading in to pick you up now and there's a kid with a pick-up saying he's taking your bike back for you?"

"Yeah," she sighed, "I'll be right out." She closed her eyes as she hung up her phone. "The three of you are coming to Vancouver to explain all of this to her, understood?" They nodded as she stood. "It sounds like the three of you have some talking to do but, um, thanks for the honesty, I guess."

"Can I walk you out?" Carmen offered as she stood.

"Um, sure," Laura replied and looked to Jan. "It was nice meeting you, Jan," she offered her hand. "Asshat," she nodded at Bill. "After you?"

Laura followed Carmen back to her bike.

"Nice bike," Carmen commented. "Laura," she sighed as she stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, "I never meant to abandon my family."

"I know," she looked back to the house, "but you did. I don't mean to be harsh but while the three of you were plotting Carm was literally fighting for her life every day. Don't expect me, don't expect Carm, for that matter, to ever forgive you." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, it's been a long day."

"No," Carmen said softly, "you're right."

"As far as blame goes, however, Bill ranks far higher on that scale," she offered.

"Laura," Carmen started as she pulled her into her arms, "I'm so happy Millie found you." She held her at arm's length. "She's really lucky to have found you." She smiled. "Thank you for taking care of her."

"I love her," she sighed. "I just hope, when all the truth comes out, she forgives me for keeping it from her."

"Jan watched over her, the best she could anyway, and she's never seen Millie as happy as she's been since she met you," she smiled and stroked Laura's cheek. "As much as the thought of her never forgiving us scares the hell out of me, the fact that she has you?" She smiled. "Gives me far greater comfort than you can imagine."

"Well let's hope she feels the same," Laura sighed.

"She'd be stupid not to," Carmen smiled. "Since she got her smarts from me," she winked. "You've nothing to worry about."

"Are you the reason Carm got your engagement ring when she turned twenty-one?" Laura asked, Carmen nodded. "She lost it last summer but we found it when we were up here in the gut of a fish."

"It fit you, didn't it?" Laura nodded. "See?" Carmen smiled. "It's meant to be," she shrugged. "No use fighting it."

"Maybe not," Laura chuckled as she folded her chaps. "But I'm sure as hell going to fight to keep her," she thought. "It was nice meeting you, even if you somewhat horrible taste in men," she smiled. "At least you seem to have good taste in women," she teased.

"Bill has made his share of mistakes," she conceded. "But he's been trying to set things right."

"I'll believe it when he sets things right with her," Laura countered and sighed. "I'm sorry, it really has been a long day and all I want to do is go home, take a long hot shower and miss my girlfriend." She shook her head. "God, I miss her."

"I know sweetie," Carmen replied warmly and hugged her. "It's all going to work out, I promise."

"I hope so," Laura replied softly and wiped away her tears. "I'll keep you guys updated and I guess I'll see you all in about six weeks."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Carmen replied genuinely.

Laura helped get her bike in the back of the pick-up and then settled into the back seat of Steven's SUV. As much as she wanted to tell Steven all she'd learned, she didn't want to put him in any more danger. No more than she already had anyway. No, Steven and Betty had a child to worry about now, she had to keep them as far away from all of this as possible. It had been a long day, between riding her bike for longer than she ever had before and the added stress of a blowing up car, she was exhausted. She pulled a blanket from the back of the SUV, threw it over her and was asleep within minutes, her last thought as she drifted off was; "If Carm still looks that good in twenty years, I'm a very lucky woman indeed."


	20. Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, beautiful, and hopefully, patient readers. I won't apologize, yet again, for the slow update. 2017 has not been kind to this aging body of mine since last I posted. In order since the New Year; backed into a poll in a parking lot hard enough to hurt my friend and I, but only left paint on the car, (lucky me). Next, I was hit by a car while walking to the bus stop on my way to work. A week later I'm over that but come down with, what was affectionally termed, the 'plague' at my workplace. A cold so bad I wasn't talking properly for a week! So, I'm at the tail end of the cold, when I fall twice on the ice in about, thirteen hours. Last night my feet decided to see how far they could get from each other as I got out of the shower. Through all of that, and other unrelated stress, I managed to miss only 1 night of work. If, my dear readers, you've made it this far, thanks, as always for the comments and I do appreciate all the kudos too. I go back and read the comments often and they always brighten my day and inspire to write. I hope the length of this chapter makes up for the delay.

Now

(Three Days to Go)

_It was their last night together before Carmilla left for the show and she wanted to cherish every minute she could get with Laura. Unfortunately, there was one uncomfortable conversation she wanted, and maybe needed, to have before she left. They'd arrived in Las Vegas early that morning and had spent most of the day exploring the city with Danny and Dark. They finally made their way back to the hotel around five and were approaching their room when Carmilla pulled Laura to a stop and called out to Danny._

_"Hey Xena!" she called as the redhead was about to open her door. "Can I talk to you, alone, for a few minutes?" Danny shared a look with Laura and then nodded. She leaned in to kiss Laura before parting ways only to find herself being led into her their room. "Be there in five!" she called to Danny before Laura closed the door and pressed her up against it. "What the…" Laura interrupted her with a long and passionate kiss._

_"Can you give me half an hour?" Laura whispered into her ear. "Maybe take a shower in Danny's room?" she suggested._

_"Why?" she queried as she pushed her away gently to meet her eyes._

_"Because I need a shower," Laura explained as she leaned in to kiss her neck. "And I know you'll probably want to take a shower," she met her eyes again. "And I wanted to surprise you with a romantic dinner," she smiled. "But I need some time to set it up."_

_"What was the plan if I hadn't asked to talk to Danny?" she joked._

_"Dark was going to come get you in a few minutes," Laura admitted. "Please," she smiled, "let me do this?"_

_"Okay," Carmilla sighed and kissed her softly. "Let me grab my things."_

_She gathered a change of clothes and everything she needed for a shower, kissed Laura on the way out and knocked on Danny's door. "Mind if I take a quick shower?" she asked once Danny had opened the door._

_"Whatever," Danny shrugged and motioned toward the bathroom. "Want a beer?" she offered as Carmilla made her towards the bathroom._

_"Got Corona?"_

_"Not sure," Danny replied as she made her way to the mini-bar. "No, but I'll get some," she offered._

_"I'll take a rum and Coke then," Carmilla suggested. "Give me," she shrugged, "ten minutes?"_

_She smiled when Danny nodded and then made her way into the bathroom. After starting the shower, she quickly stripped and sighed as the warm water washed over her. "Mental note," she thought, "if I make the finals we come down here earlier so I can get used to this fucking heat." Carmilla washed herself hurriedly, dried off, dressed, and was sitting in front of Danny a little more than ten minutes later._

_"So," Danny prompted as Carmilla tested her drink, "what's up?"_

_"I, uh, wanted to talk to you about Laura…"_

_"Carm," Danny interrupted, her tone tired and resigned._

_"Please, just listen?" Danny nodded slowly. "Good," she sighed, "this is difficult enough as it is." She shook her head and took another sip from her drink. "Laura," she sighed, "she's been having nightmares." She considered her next words carefully given Danny's feelings for Laura. "Since we, um, starting sleeping in the same bed, she'd have nightmares, once, maybe twice, a week." She ran her hands through her hair. "Lately?" she shook her head. "It's been a few times a night." She met Danny's eyes. "I don't think she even knows most of the time."_

_"I don't understand."_

_"I'm a light sleeper," Carmilla explained, "and it doesn't take much to wake me," she sighed. "An old habit born after waking to find Deanna standing over my bed one too many times," she admitted quietly. "It got so bad, I'd wake up before she even reached my room." She smiled and took a long swallow of her drink. "When I was, I don't know, sixteen maybe?" She shook her head. "Scared the hell out of her one night," she chuckled. "I heard her coming, got up and hid behind the door," she chuckled again, remembering the look on Deanna's face in the split second it took to resemble something she was far too familiar with; hatred and rage. "She walked right past me and just stood staring at my empty bed. I knew I'd pay for it," she laughed again but this time there was no humor in it. "I, very calmly, said; 'Looking for something?'" Danny gasped. "She turned and she was white as a ghost. For about three seconds," she sighed and took another gulp of her drink. "Took almost a week to recover from that one," she confided quietly. "But she stopped sneaking into my room." She rubbed her face in an attempt to wipe the memory away. "Sorry, I…"_

_"Don't," Danny interjected. "Don't ever apologize for sharing stuff from your past." She reached for Carmilla's wrist. "Laura's told me how hard it is for you to talk about," she squeezed her wrist. "I'm, not honoured, maybe, touched? That you trust me enough to talk about it with me."_

_"I think, maybe, part of it is, that I want you to understand why I'm going to ask of you what I'm going to ask," Carmilla admitted, albeit vaguely. "Every day that I'm on the show, Deanna is only going to get more desperate and dangerous."_

_"What do you call sabotaging your Jeep?" Danny questioned despite her obvious bewilderment at the change of topic._

_"She was content to let me drive around in hopes I'd blow myself up," Carmilla pointed out. "While all the while having her finger on the detonator if my death could be used to her advantage." She shook her head. "The point is, Laura's nightmares are getting worse because she's already stressing about me leaving."_

_"And you're not?"_

_"Yes," she answered. "But I can't do anything about that, except deal with it." She shrugged. "If I can do something to help Laura cope in my absence?" She smiled. "It'll be one less thing for me to worry about."_

_"What, exactly, are you asking?"_

_"Sleep with her," Carmilla started, and then, at the look of shock on Danny's face, continued; "It's a king-sized bed, I just, if she has a nightmare, I don't want her to be alone. I said, she doesn't know she has them because I can usually calm her before she fully wakes up. I wake up and hear her whimpering," she shook her head. "Sometimes she's trembling or muttering," she sighed. "Sometimes all three." She rubbed her face. "I pull her into my arms the best I can depending on what position she's sleeping in, rub her back or her arm," she smiled. "Whisper to her that it's okay, she's safe, I got her." She looked back to Danny. "She usually settles back down before I fall back to sleep." She reached for Danny's hand. "I'm asking because I know she won't. She's too…" she shook her head. "Proud and stubborn to ask. Too concerned about putting you in an awkward position, you know, given how you feel about her."_

_"Carm, I…"_

_"Danny, it's okay," she rushed to assure her. "Laura cares about you too, and I'm okay with that."_

_"You are?" she asked doubtfully._

_"If I wasn't I wouldn't be asking for your help," Carmilla stated. "Look, I'm not naïve, I know what might happen while I'm away and, if does, I'll understand."_

_"Wait a sec," Danny interrupted. "Are you saying, if something happened with me and Laura, you'd be okay with that?"_

_"No," she chuckled. "I'd be angry, sad, hurt but mostly disappointed," she sighed. "But I'd like to think I'd understand," she shrugged. "I'd like to think I'd get over it, in time."_

_"You have nothing to worry about," Danny assured her. "I'd never…" she shook her head. "Do you know why I'd never do anything like that?" Carmilla shook her head. "Because I had feelings," Danny shook her head, "have," she corrected, "feelings for you, too." She turned her hand over and laced their fingers. "So, I could never hurt either of you like that."_

_"How could you have feelings for me?" Carmilla asked, her shock evident. "I was such an asshole to you."_

_"Have you seen you?" Danny teased. "Yes, you were a jerk to me, but I saw how you acted with Dark and Kirsch when you thought no one was looking. So, I stuck around, hoped you might start treating me like you did them. But then I fucked up," she shrugged. "and then I finally listened to all the lies your brother was telling me, let him convince me you were the bitch you tried to act like, and moved on." Carmilla pulled her hand from Danny's and stood. "Carm?"_

_"I," she sighed, "I had feelings for you too."_

_"You did?"_

_"I did," Carmilla affirmed. "But I wasn't," she sighed, "I wasn't ready for a relationship and I didn't want to pull you into my mess when I was pretty sure we'd have ended badly."_

_"You don't know that," Danny countered._

_"No," Carmilla chuckled, "I do," she smiled and sat back down. "You and me? We're alike in all the wrong ways, and given where I was emotionally a year ago? Sure, it might have been fun for a little while but we'd have crashed and burned in no time." She looked down at her hands. "I pushed you away to protect you," she shrugged. "To protect myself." She met Danny's eyes. "I'm sorry for treating you the way that I did, but I don't regret pushing you away."_

_"I don't blame you," Danny joked, "you've got Laura."_

_"I won't deny that's a part of it," Carmilla smiled. "But if we'd dated, you and me, I doubt we'd be friends now. Given the circumstances, I'm happy where we ended up."_

_"Is that why you took it easy on me when we fought?"_

_"No, if, and I do mean if, I took it easy on you," she smiled. "It was because I could tell you weren't a hundred percent," she shrugged. "I wanted to beat you, not hurt you." She sighed. "When I saw you lying there, unconscious, I couldn't bring myself to hurt you further." She looked at Danny's phone as it vibrated across the table. "You going to get that?"_

_Danny nodded and answered her phone._

_"Yeah, okay, I'll tell her," she replied. "Have a good night." Danny put her phone aside. "Laura's ready for you."_

_"Danny?" Carmilla started as she stood and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are we okay?"_

_"Yeah," Danny sighed as she lay her cheek on Carmilla's hand. "Guess it's silly to feel sad about not having something that never was." She looked up to Carmilla. "But I guess, what we ended up with, isn't so bad."_

_"No," Carmilla replied as she motioned her to stand and pulled her into a hug; "not so bad at all." She looked up to her. "Danny, don't stay because of me, or Laura, okay?"_

_"Carm, I…"_

_"No, listen," she interrupted as she placed her hands on her arms. "We both care about you, we want you to be safe," she shrugged. "Maybe safer means leaving," she shook her head. "Just, if you stay, stay because it's what you want, because it's what's best for you. Okay?" Danny nodded. "No, I want you to promise me."_

_"Why?"_

_"Cause, I couldn't stand it if something happened to you because of me," she lowered her head. "Well, anything else."_

_"None of that is your fault," Danny said as she tilted her head back up to meet her eyes, "They did this, Deanna and fucking Will, not you," she sighed. "If it's anyone's fault it's mine."_

_"And how do you figure that?" Carmilla chuckled._

_"I cozied up to Will to get closer to you," she provided, sat back down, and finished her beer in one swallow. "When you kicked me out after I hurt Kirsch," she sighed. "God, I'll never forgive myself for that."_

_"It was as much his fault," Carmilla reminded her._

_"Still, I felt like I kicked a puppy," she admitted. "And you didn't give me a chance to explain or apologize. No," she stopped her before she could interrupt: "you had every right to kick me out. I felt like such an asshole," she smiled and blushed. "Then I met Laura."_

_"How long did you guys date?" Carmilla asked, though she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know the truth._

_"She told you?" Danny blurted._

_"No," Carmilla admitted. "But I had a feeling it was more than she told me." She shrugged. "I figured she'd tell me when she was ready."_

_"We were friends for awhile before I tried to kiss her one night at the bar," Danny smiled. "She was shocked, pushed me away," she sighed. "But she didn't push me too far," she confided. "We talked, agreed to take things slow," she shook her head. "Never even slept over."_

_"So, you didn't, you know?"_

_"No," Danny blushed. "Didn't make it much past first base." For some reason, Carmilla felt a little relieved. "It looked like it might but she stopped us, told me she wasn't ready," she sighed. "Not just for that, but being in a relationship at all." Danny paused and seemed to consider her next words carefully. "I'm not sure I should tell you this, but…"_

_"Is it something Laura would want you to tell me?" she interjected._

_"Probably not."_

_"Then don't," Carmilla rubbed Danny's cheek. "Just know, I'm not telling you to leave because I, we, don't care about you," she leaned forward and kissed Danny's forehead. "It's because I care that I want you to do what's best for you," she said as she leaned back to meet her eyes. "Laura is my forever," she shook her head. "I'm not saying that to rub it in, just saying you deserve to find yours." She stopped rubbing her cheek and gazed into her eyes. "You're an amazing woman Danny Lawrence and you deserve a chance to start over." She smiled. "But most of all, you deserve to be happy."_

_"And that's why I would never even consider doing anything to fuck up what you have with Laura," she smiled. "Two of the people I care about most happen to making each other happier than I've ever seen them individually," Danny smiled as she stood and pulled Carmilla into a hug. "I care about you both too much to mess with that."_

_Carmilla enjoyed the hug a moment until Danny's phone vibrated across the table again and startled them both._

_"I should…"_

_"Yeah," Danny chuckled as Carmilla went to grab her bag, "and Carm?" She waited until Carmilla met her eyes. "I am happy for you," she smiled. "For both of you."_

_"Kinda sucks, doesn't it?" Carmilla joked._

_"Yeah," Danny chuckled. "It does," she put a hand on Carmilla's shoulder and steered her towards the door; "but only kinda." She stopped her at the door. "You can win this thing, you know."_

_"You think so?"_

_"I do," Danny assured her. "Yes, I was feeling like shit," she confided. "Doesn't change the fact that I've never seen you fight like that. And god, your fight against Rose?" She smiled. "Pretty impressive." She hugged her briefly. "Good luck," she added before opening the door._

_"Can you not…"_

_"Tell Laura what we talked about?" Danny finished for her. She smiled and nodded. "I won't, but I'm glad we did."_

_"She doesn't need this on her plate," Carmilla explained. "But I'm glad we did too."_

_They hugged again briefly before Carmilla made it back to her room. She paused at the door and looked back to Danny's door when she heard it close. "What might have been," she thought and sighed. "No," she shook her head, "I wasn't," she sighed. "I couldn't have been," she shook her head again. "I was a mess."_

* * *

She sighed and looked up, shielding her eyes from the sun as Ethan approached with her lunch and a manila envelope.

"What's that?" she asked as she pointed to it.

"Someone thought you might like a few days to take care of them," he replied vaguely.

She put her lunch on her lap to peek inside the envelope as it was a little heavier than she expected, given she figured it was fifteen blank cheques. 'Someone' had been thoughtful enough to include a note pad.

"Be sure to thank 'someone' for me," she teased. "Could you grab me a fresh bottle of Patron and some limes?" He considered her a moment and nodded. "Oh, and some green and purple permanent marks." He laughed but nodded again. "Or anything that will stay good on glass. Thanks, I'll pay you back when I get out of here," she joked.

"Sure," he laughed before walking away.

Carmilla smiled as she opened her lunch. She'd been doing that a lot since Monday, smiling. Unfortunately, she couldn't tell anyone why she was so happy; Laura's surprise visit to the hospital. She'd stayed, running her hands through her hair and rubbing her back until she fell asleep. For a few moments, before she'd drifted off, she'd felt content. That feeling hadn't left her since. Sure, she still had her doubts, but for the first time, Laura's love for her, wasn't one of them. Not at all.

She and her team mates had been ushered out of the gym so that Jessica and Carla could have some time to warm up and prepare for their fight so she decided to head outside for some fresh air. She had found some shade and was thinking about her last conversation with Danny when Ethan had interrupted her reminiscing. She opened her lunch and smiled; if she hadn't already suspected Laura was personally preparing her meals, today's lunch clinched it. Yesterday, when she woke in the hospital, she was given toasted cinnamon raison bread and fresh squeezed orange juice. This morning she had French toast made with the same raison bread. Not only did today's lunch of a tequila chicken breast, rice, and fresh cut vegetables, follow her fight week meal exactly, on top of the rice was a heart made of two pieces of red bell pepper.

"What has you grinning?" Bec asked as she and Angela joined her.

"I'll be seeing Laura in a couple of days?" she offered as she unwrapped her cutlery.

"So," Angela started with a glance at Bec, "you're feeling better about all that?"

"Can I tell you a secret?" Carmilla said conspiringly. They both nodded. "I'm pretty sure Laura is already in Vegas and…" she paused for effect. "I'm also pretty sure she's the one making my meals."

"What makes you say that?" Bec asked.

"Aside from my meals following my fight week meal plan exactly?" she shrugged and ate a bite of her chicken before turning her meal to them. "How would you explain that?" she questioned as she pointed to the heart with her fork.

"Maybe whoever is making your meals has a crush on you?" Angela suggested.

"Right," Carmilla chuckled. "Okay," she lowered her voice, "maybe I know, for a fact, that she's here but I can't tell you how I know." They exchanged a look. "And yes, I am feeling better about things." She ate some more and smiled. "She's here. That means she was cleared in Will's death, which is a relief. It also means, whatever is else is happening, she was able to leave five days early," she smiled. "Also, a good sign." She took the bell pepper heart and ate it. "So, for the next three days I've decided to concentrate on the one thing I have any control over; my fight." She noticed her friends exchange another look. "What?"

"You know how you mentioned you're pretty sure Laura has at least one professional fight?" Angela asked. She nodded. "We, um, know who she fought."

"Seriously?" Carmilla blurted. "Who?" she prodded when they seemed reluctant to answer.

"Randa," Bec provided.

Carmilla leaned her head against the wall. "Now that's interesting," she said thoughtfully. "Laura couldn't tell me before I left," she continued, not really talking to her friends, but thinking aloud. "And we didn't really talk about the show when I went home," she shook her head and then looked back to her friends. "How did you find this out?"

"We overheard Randa talking when you were away," Angela started tentatively. "But, we, um…"

"Were afraid how I was going to take it?" Carmilla offered. "Look, it's fine," she sighed. "I am curious why Randa hasn't mentioned it."

"Maybe because Laura kicked her ass?" Bec suggested.

"Or because, rumor has it anyway, that she got Laura's spot when she broke her arm?" Angela added.

"Or, perhaps," she chuckled, "she hasn't said anything because she was asked not to." She began laughing outright, her friends exchanging looks again, only this time they were looking at each other like she was losing her mind. "Is it wrong that I find a perverse pleasure in spoiling one of Laura's schemes?"

"What are you talking about?" Angela questioned.

"I get it," she put her food aside and sat forward, "Laura couldn't tell me any of this before I left, and had I known, I might have treated Randa a little differently." She smiled. "Who said Laura kicked her ass?"

"She did, sort of," Bec provided. "She said she was looking forward to kicking your ass like Laura did hers."

"Did she now?" Carmilla laughed. "Oh, I'm going to have fun with this."

"Carm…" Bec said, her voice low with warning.

"Look," she shook her head, "I'm not at a hundred percent. Not even close," she shrugged. "But then again, I never am when I fight." She smiled. "I'll probably be okay by Friday," she continued when they looked worried. "But, if messing with Randa a little helps me win, I'd be a fool not to."

"Weren't you the one saying we should lay off Tecia when we were doing the same thing?" Bec asked tersely.

"This is different," she started to the skeptical looks. "It is," she enforced. "You guys were being mean girls. I, on the other hand, am just going to see if I can't get her to admit she fought Laura." She smiled. "A lot of fighters forget about the mental aspect of fighting," she shook her head. "It's not just about having a 'game plan'. I mean, yes, that's important and I had one for my first two fights and I'm starting to have one for Randa." She smiled. "If I can play a few mind games she might think I'm physically worse off than I am and that I'm only doing it because I'm worried."

"You're not?" questioned Angela skeptically.

"I didn't see anything in either of her fights that I can't beat," she smiled. "Randa beat Tecia because Tecia was overconfident. The same thing happened with Felice," she put her empty food container aside. "I'm not going to tell you what I have planned for her, though."

"You don't trust us?" Bec asked.

"It's not about trust," she clarified. "The 'Ultimate Fighter' is, at it's heart, a reality show. If I tell you what I'm planning your reactions won't be as genuine. And maybe," she sighed, "maybe it's because I'm used to only counting on myself." She reached for their hands. "I do trust you guys," she smiled and gave their hands a squeeze. "I never expected I'd make actual friends here, but Dana has been really good to me since I got back and I want to thank him by putting on one hell of a performance. Both inside, and outside, of the cage. That includes candid reactions from those closest to me." She looked up as one of their coaches approached. "Trust me," she said in an undertone, "if everything goes according to plan, you'll be happy I didn't warn you."

"Fight starts in fifteen," he informed them.

"C'mon," she prompted, "let's find out who I'll be fighting for the belt," she said, only half joking as she stood and then held her hands out to help her friends up.

"You shouldn't overlook her, you know," Bec warned. "She did beat Tecia when she wasn't supposed to."

"I don't underestimate anyone," Carmilla differed. "But, at the end of the day, she's nothing more than a stepping stone." She stopped them at the doors to the gym. "I have fought a bigger and scarier woman than her for most of my life," she met their eyes. "I get in that cage and no one, and I mean no one can scare me for long. " She put a hand on each of their shoulders. "And if they manage to scare me?" She chuckled and shook her head. "They quickly regret it." She gave their shoulders a squeeze. "Don't you worry, one way or another, I am going to win."

* * *

Later that evening, Carmilla sat alone in her room, a mostly empty notepad in her lap as she stared off into space. She was killing time while she waited for team Pettis to return from the gym by getting started on the cheques for her cast mates. She started with the easy stuff; listing the fifteen other women she was sharing the house with. Below that she wrote out the dollar amounts and what they were for. She added two more categories since she talked to Dana; an extra five thousand for all her teammates and extra money for each of her three opponents. While her motive for the gifts in the first place was to thank all of them for making her experience tolerable, she also wanted to acknowledge her teammates as they had all supported her in one way or another. As for her opponents, it was, in part, because she was taking away their dream by fulfilling her own. Not to mention, taking away their potential source of income. She also decided to double the amounts she was giving Bec and Angela. Were it not for them she wouldn't have made it through the last two weeks. And while a hundred thousand dollars was good chunk of change, even to her, for her friends it could be life changing. She also wanted to see the looks on their faces and hoped the cameras managed to capture them.

Her thoughts had drifted back to Danny while unnoticed tears had crept down her cheeks. It had finally dawned on her why the redhead's death had affected her so, it wasn't just Danny's potential that had been squandered. No, she herself had wasted time with Danny when she pushed her away. Carmilla still maintained that a relationship would have ended in disaster but she would always regret the time she missed being her friend.

"Hey, they're back," Angela greeted as she entered the room and then came to sit by her side when she noticed the tears. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Carmilla admitted with a sniff as she stuffed the notepad back into the envelope and hid it under her pillow; how could she explain her feelings when she wasn't sure she understood them herself? "If I start," she sighed and then nodded at the paper bag in her hands. "That my Tequila?"

"Yup," Angela smiled. "Bec's cutting the limes and guarding the shot glasses, and your tumbler, in the freezer." She grinned. "And no, we haven't opened the Tequila."

"Good," Carmilla wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I'll need something to do with my hands to hide that they're shaking." She smiled. "I hate talking to big groups of people."

"But you're so good at it," Angela replied in surprise as she followed her into the bathroom. "I'm not just talking about in here, I saw your Press Conference after your fight in Vancouver."

"The Press Conference was because I walked in pissed off and had Laura's hand in mine the entire time," she supplied. "In here?" she shrugged and then splashed some cold water on her face. "I'm faking it."

"Faking it?" she laughed.

"I imagine Laura standing near me and encouraging me," Carmilla replied with a blush. "And don't forget this is a reality show."

"That you're using to win the general public to your side," Angela stated, sounding impressed.

"It's a win-win for everyone," Carmilla added. "From the UFC, right down to every single fighter on the show. The more interest in me, the more interest in the show, the more exposure everyone gets," she took her bicep in her hand. "And all that can only be good, right?"

They started to make their way downstairs when Angela came to a stop.

"You sure you're up for this?" Carmilla sighed and nodded. "We can always do it after weigh-ins," she suggested.

"No," she smiled, albeit weakly. "I have something planned for tomorrow that might tarnish the sentiment I have planned for tonight."

Angela studied her a moment.

"What's up with you today? I mean, one minute you're grinning and the next, crying."

"I've been thinking about Danny," she confessed. "She was supposed to be on the first women's TUF but got injured doing something I'd pointed out was a weak spot." She shook her head and leaned against the wall. "We had a good chat the night before I left for the show." She rubbed her eyes roughly when she felt tears again welling in her eyes. "I have a lot of regrets in my life," she smiled. "Suffice to say Danny might be one of the bigger ones."

They both turned as the other Angela joined them.

"Everyone's gathered by the pool table, like you asked, but you might want to get down there soon, the natives are getting restless," she informed them with a smirk.

"Shall we?" Carmilla prompted and went to follow the other Angela.

"You sure?" Angela asked.

"Yeah," she grinned, "if nothing else it'll get me out of this mood." She bumped her shoulder with her friends. "Fucking PMS hormones, am I right?" she joked.

"Goofball," Angela teased as they entered the kitchen and found Bec taking the shot glasses from the freezer.

"Everything's ready," Bec greeted.

"Excellent," Carmilla smiled. "Thanks. Shall we?"

They all head to the pool table, Bec carryimg the limes, Angela, the fifteen shot glasses and Carmilla, the bag containing her Patron and her glass. Her cast mates parted as they approached and Carmilla went to stand at one end.

"Thanks, everyone, I promise I'll make this brief," she joked as she and friends placed their item on the table in front of her. She took the bottle of alcohol from the bag before she continued. "This, for those unfamiliar with Tequila," she indicated the bottle in her hand, "is just about the best Tequila you can buy. I brought a bottle from home a couple of weeks ago." She put the bottle on the table. "This, however, is not that bottle." She smiled at the confused looks being exchanged around her. "No, this is a replacement bottle someone was kind enough to get me just in case there was anything wrong with the other. As you can see, it hasn't been opened." She opened the bottle, took out the cork, held it to her nose and inhaled deeply. "And it hasn't been out of anyone's sight since it was delivered," she assured them as she started to pour. "I won't be offended if you don't join me, but I'd like to ask you to grab some other drink as I plan to make a toast. However, if you've never had Tequila, or had a bad experience with it in the past, I suggest you do yourself a favour and give it a try." She was focused on her task but noticed movement as a few people went to get other beverages. They returned as she poured the balance of the bottle into her glass. "Call me sentimental if you want, but I'd like a souvenir and I'd appreciate if, while I'm talking, you could all sign the bottle in your team colours," she requested as she found the markers in the bag along with a spray can. She put the markers aside and checked the can's label; a product to help protect the signatures from wearing off the glass. "Thanks Pup," she thought. "Start from the top," she suggested as she handed the markers to Bec, "it'll make it easier to avoid smearing the marker before it dries." She turned to Angela on her other side and passed her the tray of shots. "Take one, pass it around," she prompted. "Oh," she looked back to her right, "please leave the label clear for me, I have something special planned for it." She looked around the table and took a sip of her drink. "What? I'm nervous," she joked at the few looks she was getting.

When the bottle and the shots passed each other she took a deep breath and continued; "Okay," she began and waited until she had most of their attention, "now that you know what this is," she indicated her glass, "and what we're doing with it, I suppose you'd like to know why we're doing it." A few people chuckled. "I know I'm going to be pretty focused on my fight Friday the next couple of days and I'm worried I might not get to say what I want to say after the fight so, here it goes." She smiled as the tray made its way back in front of her, the bottle not far behind. "Just out of curiosity, who didn't take one?" She indicated the tray with two unclaimed glasses. Somehow, though, she wasn't surprised at who had raised their hands; Randa and Carla.

"They gave me some pain meds," Carla supplied. "Didn't think it was a good idea to mix."

"Fair enough," she looked to Randa.

"I fight in two days," she stated.

"It's one shot," Carmilla pointed out but Randa just shrugged. "Whatever," she sighed. "You guys join me outside for a second one once we're done?" She asked Bec and Angela in an undertone as she spared them each a glance and received their nods. "Okay, so," she took another sip to steady her nerves. "This is my way of saying 'thank you' to each and every one of you." She noticed glances being shared. "Whether you, quite literally, might have been the only two reasons I've held it together the last two weeks," she again glanced at her friends; "or simply gave me some space when I asked for it," she smiled as she looked around the table. "You all made this more than just a tolerable experience, but one that I will remember and cherish as one of the best times in my life for the rest of my life." She took another sip to cover as she considered her next words. "Last," she smiled as several seemed relieved she was almost done. She almost laughed as she thought she'd barely begun. "I'd like to thank the women I've had the honour of sharing the cage with," she nodded to Alex and Joanne. "Alex, you were great. I almost wish the fight had lasted a little longer, I was having fun, but I didn't want to risk getting hurt." She looked back to Joanne. "JoJo, I can honestly say, without a doubt, that was the toughest fight of my career so far."

"And thank you for easing off on that hold until the ref finally noticed," Joanne joked. Several people laughed nervously but more shared stunned looks.

"I'd all but won," Carmilla countered. "I saw no reason to hurt you anymore than necessary." She shrugged. "But I could have, if you started to struggle," she winked. "Thanks again for not making me regret it." She sipped her drink again and thought; "Now for the real fun."

"To my next opponent," as she met Randa's intense stare the room stilled so quickly you could have heard a pin drop. "I won't wish you luck as I have I feeling I'm going to need every bit I have to win," she supressed a grin. "But, all things considered, I'm glad you got Laura's spot when she broke her arm." This time she stifled a chuckle at the unfathomable look on Randa's face. "Frankly, I'd rather fight you over her any day." Randa finally seemed to settle on an emotion; anger. "What?" she laughed. "You all saw what happened today," she looked around the table. "I'm not saying it wasn't a great fight," she addressed Carla and Jessica. "But, you're friends and it showed. It's not a criticism, or at least it's not meant as one, but I know myself how hard it is to fight a friend." She shrugged. "I got to know Rose a little before we fought and we both held back."

"That's you holding back?" Felice joked.

"It was," she affirmed. "It was even worse when I fought Danny," she admitted, and regretted it immediately.

"You call that spectacular flying elbow off the cage, 'holding back'?" Tecia joked.

"If she'd been healthy I'd have been lucky if it stunned her enough to get her to the ground where I planned to choke her out," she clarified a little tersely. "Going into the fight I knew I had to capitalize on any advantage; she was more than a half foot taller than me, and even sick, she had at least twenty pounds on me. That's two advantages I could do nothing about except get her to the ground and neutralize them." She looked around, relieved to see that at least some of them understood. "Though," she continued, her tone again light, "when Laura told me, after she broke her arm and almost died in my arms, that she was supposed to be on the show, she'd joked, that with our luck, we would've ended up fighting each other," she chuckled. "Might have been a tad anti-climatic though, she also said she'd have walked out, kneeled and tapped out." A few people laughed. "She said she was going to say; 'You want this Carm, all I want is you.'" She waited until everyone, save a few that had only smiled, stopped laughing. "Last, but not least, Carla," she smiled. "As much as I'd like to wish you luck, if I win on Friday, I suspect I'll have used all I have," even Carla chuckled at her joke. "I do look forward to that fight, though, if it happens." She let that settle a moment before concluding her toast. "So," she held up her glass, "thank you, all of you." She smiled. "Here's to seeing our loved ones by this time Friday!"

Everyone clinked their glasses and then, as one, downed their shots while she finished half of what was left in her glass. "Thanks for your time guys," she called out in an effort to disperse the crowd before she looked to Angela and Bec. "Outside?" she suggested.

Her friends grabbed the two leftover shots while she grabbed the empty bottle, spray can and the markers. She set her glass down when then got outside, found a spot on the bottle, and signed her name in purple. Next, she added TUF 20, 2015, in alternating colours on the label. She checked the label on the spray can and then set both aside to wait for the most recent ink to dry.

"That was classic," Bec said in awe.

"Thanks," Carmilla grinned as she turned to look back inside the house. "Think it worked?"

"If you wanted to, essentially, tell Randa exactly what you had planned?" Angela posited. "Then, maybe?"

"I'd settle for distracted," she clarified. "I don't just want to win this fight, no," she smiled. "I want this fight to go down as one of the best, most entertaining fights this show has ever seen."

"I don't know," Bec grinned, "Your fight against JoJo was pretty entertaining."

"I'm aiming for epic," she joked. "Seriously though, I ended my first two fights as quick as possible to save myself the damage." She sipped her drink. "Every win means another fight, and in my case, fights that were pretty close together." She smiled as she watched Randa inside; she'd gotten under her skin. "That isn't a consideration for this one and I aim to prove that I don't end fights quickly because I gas out."

"But because you can?" Angela guessed.

"That and I try to do something new and interesting in every fight," she added. "Keeps fans coming back to see what I'll try next."

"For someone not planning to make this her career," Bec commented, "you sure seem to put a lot of thought into it."

"I never said I don't enjoy it," she admitted. "I think, so long as I'm still having fun, I'll keep fighting." She shrugged. "It'd be nice to be famous for something positive I'd done, for a change."

"You're a piece of work, you know that?" Angela teased.

"Yes," Carmilla laughed. "But am I fine art or a comic strip?" she joked.

"Maybe a graphic novel," Angela suggested with a playful slap of her shoulder.

"Seems appropriate," she chuckled. "Look, guys, seriously, thanks for everything you've done for me," she put her almost empty glass aside so she could put her arm around each of her friends. "I never would have made it this far without you." She gave them both a squeeze. "Especially these last couple of weeks." They stepped away so she could reach her glass. "And thanks for listening to my crazy theories, it's helped."

"Would you have done the same for us if the positions were reversed?" asked Bec.

"In a heartbeat," she replied earnestly.

"Then no thanks needed," Angela said and held her glass aloft. "To Carmilla 'Karma' Karnstein; the last, and only hope for a Team Melendez victory. The strongest, yet kindest, most compassionate and generous person I've ever met," Angela smiled as she felt tears matching hers welling in Carmilla's eyes. "May you finally get the happy ending you deserve, whatever that might be."

"Cheers to that," Bec said as she clinked her glass with Angela's. "You're a good egg, kiddo, don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise."

Once they drank their Tequila, Carmilla stared at her ice cubes a moment as the four ounces of Tequila she'd drank started to hit her, Randa's grating voice getting her attention a few seconds later.

"Can I talk to you," she glanced at Bec and Angela a moment, "alone for a moment?"

"I'm a little drunk right now," Carmilla hiccupped as if to prove the point. "Can you grab me a bottle of water?" she asked Bec as she handed her the key to her special fridge. "But if you need to say something, go ahead." She shrugged. "There's nothing you can't say in front of my friends, but I warn you, if you expect a response of any sort, don't get your hopes too high."

"How did you know I got Laura's spot?" she questioned, fortunately it was a question she already an answer for.

"I knew someone got her spot and you, being a fellow Canadian, seemed the most likely candidate," she reasoned. "And when I said I'd rather fight you, I meant it. Not because I think you're an easier fight, necessarily, but because I don't think I could bring myself to hurt my girlfriend." Bec rejoined them, gave her a bottle of water, and returned her fridge key. "Whatever happens on Friday, it's not personal," she shrugged and held her hand out to Randa. "Or at least, it shouldn't be."

Randa eyed her hand a moment and then shook it briefly before turning to go back inside without another word.

"Damn, you're good," Angela teased.

"My dad used to say; 'If bullshit were music, you'd be a brass band', until one day I turned around and told him I wasn't just a brass band, but a symphony freaking orchestra." Her friends laughed. "I got even better after he died," she admitted, sobering her friends instantly. "I had to, it was another survival tactic." She laughed. "I remember, the day my Jeep blew up, telling Laura; 'There's a difference between bullshitting, acting and outright lying," she laughed. "'You're fairly good at the second, pretty good at the first and lousy at the third.'" She shook her head as she opened her water. "Boy, was I off base," she sighed; Laura had done all three so well that she'd never suspected a thing, until that is, she had time to think about it.

"I'm going to bed," she said as the silence stretched.

"You're not going to visit with Laura?" Angela asked, sounding surprised.

She looked at her watch, it was almost time for her eight forty-five alarm.

"Nah," she replied as she turned off both alarms, "I think I'll visit from bed," she yawned and burped halfway through. "I might fall asleep if I stay out here," she joked. "And the last thing I need is a cold."

"C'mon then, we'll walk you up," Bec offered as she took her arm.

"No, wait," Carmilla exclaimed as she noticed the bottle, "I need to spray that before I go to bed."

"Bec can get you upstairs, and I'll take care of it," Angela suggested.

"Thanks, guys, you're my heroes!" she joked, pulled them into a sloppy hug and then let Bec take her to bed. She made a show of acting more drunk than she was as they passed through the living room on the way upstairs, dropping the act as soon as she and Bec were alone, the Aussie eliciting a; "What?" due to the look on her face.

"You're not that drunk, are you?" she deduced.

"I'm tipsy," she admitted as she sat on her bed to get changed into her night clothes. "But no, not that drunk."

"I'd say you're pretty adept at all three too," Bec joked but there was an underlying tension.

"Only when I have to be," she deflected. "It can be a bad, but useful, habit to break." She shrugged. "I'm starting to accept that sometimes people do good things for me for no other reason than they can."

"From what you've told us, that seems a safe, if not slightly paranoid, frame of mind," Bec offered.

"Is it though, when you really do have people trying to sabotage you at every turn?" She sighed. "But you know what?" Bec came and sat next to her. "Not only can I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm close enough to see it really is the end and not just a train." Bec laughed and gave her a one-armed hug.

"I think we're all feeling a little that way at the moment," Bec jested. "You going to be okay on your own for a bit?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I'm going to finish my water and pass out."

"Okay," Bec stood and then turned to her. "That was some toast you gave."

"Thanks," she chuckled. "I'm impressed I didn't stutter. It happens, sometimes, when I'm nervous."

"Might have been the Tequila, which by the way, was amazing," Bec commented before she left.

Carmilla finished changing, briefly considered doing more work on her cheques, but opted for sleep instead. She thought about Danny again and the path she'd been too afraid to take. She hadn't acknowledged her feelings until getting to know the redhead while they were at the cabin. Before that it hadn't been much more than a simple physical attraction. Or that's what she told herself. She was grateful, however, that they had admitted their feelings before it was too late.

She'd hadn't told Laura what they'd talked about. When she'd returned to find Laura waiting with a candlelit dinner, it understandably slipped her mind. When she went home because of Danny and Will's deaths, well, it just didn't seem the time. But it was also because she was only beginning to understand why Danny's death had affected her so much more deeply than her brother's had. It was as simple as; she had come to care more for Danny than Will and she mourned the loss of a friendship that never got a chance to be.

She rolled to her side and, as she looked at her pictures, she let the remember what followed their candlelit dinner. Carmilla and Laura had had sex, and made love, (because, yes, she knew there was a difference and Laura was the only woman she'd 'made love' to), more times than she could remember in, but that night was different. They'd connected in way they never had before. Maybe it was the desperation of knowing that every passing minute was dragging them toward their separation. Or perhaps they'd had nothing left to say and so, let their bodies do their talking for them. Whatever the reason, she knew she'd never forget a single second of it. It was the reason, despite her regret at lost time with Danny, she knew she'd made the right choice in not taking that path. She didn't think it was possible to be happier than she was with Laura. Unlike she and Danny, whose strongest traits were the ones they had in common, she and Laura balanced each other nicely. They had some in common, of course, but Laura was strong where she was weakest, and she was strong were Laura was weak. It's what made them so much stronger together than apart.

Carmilla sighed and turned to her back

"Only two more days," she thought as she drifted off. It had been an eventful, informative, and productive day. "Randa won't know what hit her," she chuckled before letting the Tequila knock her out. It had also been a long day, after all.


	21. Her Forever

Then

(Three Weeks Ago)

_Laura moaned as the kiss, that had started off hesitant, deepened. She tangled her hands in Danny's hair, melding their bodies closer together from where she straddled her and pushed her against the back of the couch. She felt Danny's hands gripping both her hip and one butt cheek as a second body pressed against her back and a third hand creeped beneath the front of her shirt to play with her breast._

_"Still sure about this?" Carmilla breathed into her ear and then pulled its lobe between her teeth and caused Laura to finally break the kiss with a moan. "Is that a 'yes'?"_

_Laura nodded as she twisted her upper body to pull the brunette into a passionate kiss._

_When Carmilla pulled away she looked at Danny and smiled; "How about you? Still sure?"_

_"I don't know," Danny answered, the timber of her voice belying how turned on she already was. "I think I need a little more," she started as she put her hand behind Carmilla's neck and pulled her close, "research…"_

_Laura watched as the two kissed; any jealousy she felt easily eclipsed by her desire._

Laura moaned in her sleep as the dream shifted and skipped ahead, the three now naked in the bed of the cabin's master bedroom. She was still straddling Danny, her hands gripping the headboard behind her as both the redhead and her girlfriend had their hands between her legs and had her seconds away from the biggest orgasm she'd ever had when Danny shook her awake.

"Laura?" she prodded sleepily. "You okay?" Laura looked up at her from where her head rested just above Danny's breast and nodded. "Well, could, you, uh…" she muttered as she took Laura's hand from under her shirt. Laura then reddened even further when she realized she was pressed rather tightly to Danny's hip. "You were moaning, you sure you're okay?"

Laura rolled to her back and looked at the clock; it was almost time to get up and she needed a cold shower. Her dream had left her both confused and drenched, not the state of mind she was hoping for given her plans for the day.

"I'm, uh," she stammered as she rolled away from Danny and went to get out of bed, "I'm, uh, going to take a shower, and, um, make breakfast after I go over my notes," she rambled, trying to cover for her still flaming cheeks as she gathered a change of clothes.

"Whatever," Danny sighed. "Wake me in an hour."

"Sure," she replied, and then, remembering her dream, blushed at her own choice of words. "What the frilly hell?" she thought as she flipped on the bathroom lights and then went to use the toilet. Maybe it was because Danny had taken to sleeping in her bed for almost three weeks. They hadn't once talked about it, but every morning since Laura had fallen asleep on the roof she'd woken to the redhead beside her even though she'd gone to bed alone. She woke before her, usually made breakfast, and would start work on transcribing Carmilla's journals before Danny would wake and join her without saying a word. Laura was content to let it lie, for awhile, but given her dream, she needed to know what was going through her friend's head.

Perhaps she was trying to delay the inevitable. While she wanted, no, needed answers, more importantly, they needed an excuse to search the estate. She'd been corroborating the information collected by Jan on the USB Bill gave her with Carmilla's journal and between that and the blueprints Bill had supplied; Deanna was as good as finished. However, everything depended on taking Deanna by surprise. If they didn't, they risked losing any evidence there might be. Laura had her friends inside her security team on high alert for any sign that Deanna was moving, or worse, destroying evidence. They'd also, at great personal risk, put cameras in every hidden passageway out of the estate. If Deanna made any attempt to use them, whether it be to escape or move damning items, they'd know about it.

She flushed the toilet and shook her head; a conversation that was already going to be awkward just became even more so given the dream she'd had, where her hand was and how she was just about dry humping Danny's hip in her sleep. Maybe, if she was lucky, Danny hadn't noticed the last bit. She sighed as she undressed and then went to start the shower. What bothered her more was the why of why she was having a dream like that now. It wasn't the first time since Danny had come back into their lives that she'd dreamt of her, but it was the first time Carmilla was also there. Perhaps it was as simple as she missed Carmilla and her affections and she'd dreamt of something sexy and Danny, being the last person she'd seen before going to sleep and, if she had to be honest, she was still attracted to, had innocently made her way into her dream? "No," she thought, "if it was that simple, I wouldn't feel nearly this guilty." She ducked her head under the barely warm water and let it do its work to alleviate some of her frustration. Unfortunately, it did nothing to soothe her confusion or guilt.

Laura was grateful that Danny joined her after she fell asleep as these days it was one of the few times she was alone. Alone to let herself feel the ever-growing ache of Carmilla's absence she'd cried herself to sleep more than once. She sighed and turned the hot water up as her frustration ebbed. Laura had never thought she'd miss sex so much. Well, it wasn't the sex, exactly, but everything that came with it; the cuddling, the closeness, the intimacy. Having Danny's warm body next to her in bed was a nice comfort when she woke in the middle of the night but it wasn't the same as having Carmilla there.

She shook her head and reached for the shampoo; pining after Carmilla wasn't helping anyone, let alone Carmilla herself. She wondered, sometimes, if the reason she missed her so much was because she knew everything was bound to change when Carmilla finally learned the truth. Laura had stopped bringing up her fears to her friends, she was sure they were getting as tired of hearing it as she was hearing them telling her to stop worrying, that everything was going to be okay. She knew they were just trying to help, she did, and they were Carmilla's friends first, they knew her better than she did, right?

"No," she thought; that wasn't a path she could afford to go down. Not now. She had Will to deal with. She was going to take a big chance today in hopes of getting something, anything, they could use as an excuse to search the estate. However, if nothing else, she'd find out how much Deanna had told him about her. Hopefully, with Danny's help, they might just get some truth out of the little bastard.

She finished in the shower, dried off, and once she was dressed, went to check her reflection in the mirror. Her late nights, drinking and not eating enough, were starting to show. Between her hours' long work out sessions and forgetting to eat she'd already lost almost ten pounds and while she was still giving her father the silent treatment, she hadn't missed the looks he'd been giving her. She tied her hair back and then went about covering the circles under eyes and adding some colour to cheeks. When she was done, she smiled; "Almost human."

Laura made her way back into the bedroom, dropped her pajamas in the hamper and then went to sit on the corner of the bed. She sat watching the redhead sleep, still unsure what, if anything, her dream had meant. She was so lost in thought that hadn't realised Danny had woken until she sat up and yawned a; "'Morning," as she stretched.

"Can we, um," Laura stuttered as she blushed; Danny wasn't hard to look at. "Can we talk," she motioned to the bed, "about this?"

"Do we have to?" Danny rubbed her face and fell back to her pillow.

"Is there any reason we shouldn't?" Laura countered.

"You keep sneaking off every morning," Danny sat up, scooted back, and sat against the headboard, "figured you didn't want to talk about it," she reasoned.

"And you keep sneaking in after I go to sleep," Laura pointed out. "Look," she sighed, "you mentioned Carm gave you permission to sleep in here, what I'd like to know, is why?"

"You really have no idea, do you?" Danny asked as she ran her hands through her hair. "Carm, the night before she left, she told me," she sighed. "She didn't want me to tell you," she frowned, "but I guess," she shook her head. "She said you were having nightmares, once, maybe twice a week when you first got together but that it had gotten to be a few times a night as it got closer to her leaving," she shrugged. "Carm was worried it was only going to get worse." Laura was stunned; she didn't realize she'd being having nightmares. But, if she thought about it, she had started sleeping better since sharing Carmilla's bed. "She said you usually wouldn't wake up completely but that she'd find you murmuring, sweating, or crying but she'd settle you back down before she'd fall back to sleep."

"Which explains why she seems to be sleeping like the dead every morning," she sighed. "I've been keeping her up every night."

"The first couple of nights I just checked on you, but after you bruised my arm to keep me from leaving, I figured it was easier to sleep in here if you needed me," Danny looked down. "I should have said something."

"So, have I? Been having nightmares?" Laura asked hesitantly.

"Just the one you had the night after you rode up to the cabin," Danny replied. Laura didn't usually remember her dreams, or her nightmares, but that one? She remembered it in all too vivid detail. In it she'd been the one to check on the car the cops pulled over. As she approached she saw Carmilla tied into the driver's seat for a split second before the car exploded. "But maybe I just sleep more deeply than Carm does," Danny reasoned as the silence stretched.

"Probably a habit formed from Deanna's fixation with watching her sleep," Laura sighed and reached over to squeeze Danny's ankle through the blanket. "I never would have asked," she trailed off as Danny laughed. "What?"

"That's what Carm said," she provided. "Look, it's okay," Danny smiled. "The bed is huge so I barely even notice you there," she teased. "And I get more sleep than lying across the apartment worrying about you."

"Well, thank you," she squeezed her ankle again. "I do wake up, a few times a night, but I didn't know why." Laura rubbed her face. "What, um, else did you guys talk about?" she asked, her insecurity showing. "I mean, that couldn't have taken forty-five minutes," she rationalized when Danny didn't seem inclined to answer.

"Well, she did take a shower," Danny stalled. "Laura, I," she sighed deeply and looked down. "I told Carm the reason I'd never do anything to interfere in your relationship is cause," she shook her head and met Laura's eyes. "You're not the only one I have feelings for."

"Wait," Laura blurted, "you and Carm?"

"No," Danny laughed. "We never even made it to the friend stage," she shrugged. "I was attracted to her, but I didn't have feelings for her," she sighed. "No, those are more recent," she shrugged again. "But see, here's the thing, the feelings I have for her now? It's because of the person she's become since she met you, how she acts around you," she smiled and reached for Laura's hand. "I care about her and I'd never do anything to hurt her, or you. I'd never forgive myself," she admitted. "Besides, Carm wouldn't be the Carm I have feelings for without you." Laura was stunned, she'd had no idea. "Is it easy sharing a bed with you? Holding you when you have a bad dream? Spending time with you every day?" She sighed. "No." Laura looked down. "But not helping you when I can?" Laura looked up. "Would be way more difficult."

Laura didn't know what to say so asked the first thing that came to mind; "Was I a rebound?"

"God, no," Danny laughed. "Remember all the crap I told you about Carm?" Laura nodded. "A lot of it, the way she treated me anyway, was true. The rest? The stuff Will told me?" She shrugged. "I doubt it."

"Speaking of Will," Laura segued, "you up for this today?"

"Talking to Will?" Danny frowned. "He's not going to tell me anything."

"He might, if he thinks you're on his side," Laura suggested.

" _That's_ your plan?" Danny scoffed. She threw the blanket off her legs and got out of bed. "He'll never buy it."

"He doesn't have to," Laura supplied.

"What?"

"I want him," she thought for a moment, "unbalanced, when I see him."

"And what will that achieve?"

"With any luck, he'll take any help he can get," she smirked. "Even mine."

"You're hoping he'll give you dirt on Deanna?" Danny asked skeptically but sat on the edge of the bed again. "He's too scared."

"Then I offer him safety," she replied. "It's not dirt I need. No, that I have plenty of…"

"So, why not use it?"

"Because," Laura sighed. "The risk isn't worth the reward."

"What's with the vagueness?" Danny prodded.

"I," Laura shook her head and got up. "People's lives depend on their anonymity." She ran her hands through her hair. "Until Deanna is behind bars, they can't come forward." She met Danny's eyes. "I have little doubt they'd be dead before they could verify the proof they've given me." Laura sighed. "What I need is an excuse to search the estate." She smiled. "Deanna likes her trophies," she shrugged. "We'll have all the evidence we need."

* * *

Danny and Laura sat in the back of the Compass as they waited on Rick. Neither had said much since that morning. Laura assumed Danny was trying to figure out what to say to Will, as was she. How she was going to play it would have depend a lot on how it went with Danny. She was hoping Will would be so unsettled by Danny's visit that he would admit to something they could use. It was a lot of maybes, but Laura was accustomed to working with maybes.

Laura pulled her briefcase into her lap, took out a small box and opened it.

"Danny?" Laura prompted to get her attention. "In case you get stuck, I, um, brought these," she explained as she handed her one of the ear buds. "I'll already be able to hear you, the interview room has cameras and audio, but I think, maybe…"

"Laura, it's fine," she said as she took the ear bud and put it in her left ear. "Just don't be talking to me the whole time."

"How about a signal then?" Laura suggested. "Maybe run your right hand through your hair if you need help." Danny nodded. "Any idea what you're going to say?"

"No," she sighed. "Which is why I'm not fighting this ear bud thing." They were both startled by Rick knocking on the window. "I guess it's time to find out if I'm as good a liar as you," she teased.

"Low blow," Laura answered tersely as she opened her car door.

"Laura, I…"

"Save it," she cut her off. "Let's get this over with."

She knew Danny was only joking, she did, but it still struck a nerve. Was she a good liar? Yes, it was part of the job. Was she proud of it? No. But it was necessary even if she hated it. She loathed lying to Carmilla and kept a mental list of every major lie she'd told her. Every day since she'd started writing in her journal, she'd tried to think of five lies she'd told her and written down the truth and why she'd lied. Did it help? Not really, but it assuaged her guilt slightly. It would only be truly gone once she'd told her the truth herself.

When they came to a stop outside the interview room Laura turned to Danny.

"You're going to be fine," Laura assured her as she put a Bluetooth in her ear. "Can you hear me?" she tested.

"Yes, but you're right in front of me," Danny joked.

"Cover your right ear," she suggested and waited until Danny complied. "Hear me?" Danny nodded. "Okay, good luck."

"Hey kiddo," Ann greeted as she approached and then hugged her. She pulled back and held her face in her hands. "You aren't taking care of yourself," she accused.

"Yes, well," Laura sighed, "fearing for your life on a daily basis tends to be a little stressful."

"Fair enough," Ann conceded and looked to Danny. "We'll bring him in after you're seated. There's nothing to worry about, he'll be restrained," she instructed as she indicated the door to the interview room. "And we'll be right next door if you need us."

Rick handed Laura a manila folder as they entered the surveillance room.

"You sure about this?" he asked in an undertone as she looked over the 'deal' they were going to offer Will. "Admitting who you are?"

"Deanna already knows who I am," she replied as she took a seat at the table. "If I'm right, Deanna hasn't told him," she shook her head. "I might not be able to gain his trust, but if I can shake his trust in her?" she smiled. "We might just get something we can use." She opened her briefcase, took out a second folder and added Will's deal to it. Next, as they waited on Will, she slipped her gun from her shoulder holster, ejected the clip, emptied it, put it back in her gun and then handed the bullets and her spare clips to Rick. "I want him to know I have it but I don't want to be tempted to use it," she provided at his look of surprise as she slipped her gun back in its holder. "I want the key to the cuffs," she told Ann.

"Excuse me?" Ann blurted.

"Laura, I'm not sure…" Rick interjected at the same time.

"A," she talked over them both, "he needs his hands to sign the deal and b) it might help me gain a little trust." She was saved further defending her decision by the sound of an opening door over the audio. "Danny," Laura said quietly, trying not to startle her, "put your hands in your lap, you're fidgeting." The redhead nodded subtly and took her suggestion. She tapped a button on her headset and looked to Ann briefly before turning to regard Will. "He looks better."

"Later," Ann replied as the three of them gave the monitors their full attention. Will was seated by the attendants across from Danny and then the cuffs around his wrists attached to a metal ring on the table.

The former friends sat regarding each other, Will effectively hiding any surprise at his visitor's identity.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked.

"Thought you could stand seeing a friendly face," Danny replied.

"Friend?" he scoffed. "The only reason you started talking to me in the first place was because you were trying to get into Carm's pants."

As Danny considered her answer Laura now understood why the redhead had admitted her feelings to her; she knew Will better than Laura. Knew he would use Carmilla against her.

"I won't deny it," Danny admitted softly and then met his eyes. "But how would you explain me staying your friend after she kicked me out of the gym? Hmm?"

"You were still trying to get into her pants," he mocked.

"You really believe that?" He nodded. "Is that what your stepmother told you?"

"No, she said you were after my money," he confided. "Guess she was right."

"Excuse me?" Danny hissed.

"I didn't hear from you for months," he explained, a small smirk on his face. "And then, well, that whole thing happened with your parents and you called me looking for help when you almost got kicked out of school."

"I didn't," Danny sighed and rubbed her face. "I didn't want anyone here to know what was going on." She shrugged. "I was embarrassed. I called you looking for support _, emotional_ support." She shook her head, he wasn't buying it. "Was I ecstatic, grateful even, that you found me a solution? Hell yes. Was it the reason I called you in the first place? No."

"Sure," he replied slowly. "Where's Laura?"

"She's, um, running a little late," Danny stammered. "Thought I'd come see how you're doing."

"Like you care."

"Fine!" Danny pushed her chair back and stood. "Maybe I came because I want to hear it from you; why did you try to kill me?"

"I," he stammered, "I didn't…"

"You didn't poison me?" she accused.

"I wanted Carm to win," he deflected.

"By killing me in the ring?" she asked edgily. "And you have the nerve to accuse me of not being a friend?"

"Not kill you, no," he rushed out. "I thought she'd win by default when you couldn't make weight."

"And what would that have accomplished?"

"Thought she wouldn't get the Invicta fight," he shrugged. "Without that fight, no Ultimate Fighter."

"Danny," Laura blurted before the redhead could respond, "don't tell him she already had those."

Danny nodded subtly again and considered her next words; "So you did poison me?" He nodded. "Gee thanks," she taunted, "so, not kill me in the ring but I'd have died eventually without your sister's help."

"I knew they had a cure," he said flatly.

"How?" Danny blurted.

"I tried it on Carm first," he shrugged. "She was fine."

"You're done Danny, get out of there," Laura instructed, only to receive a barely noticeable shake of Danny's head.

"Is that why you invited me to your coming home party?" she questioned.

"No, I did it about a week before the fight," he supplied. "You're supposed to retain water," he shrugged. "Figured you'd miss weight and then your blood tests would show the parasite and you'd be fine."

"You miscalculated," she taunted. "Your sister was right; I had stress fractures in my hands from my poor punching technique. The bugs didn't need me to retain water to multiply; they did to me what they did to Dark." She shook her head. "I was your friend Will, tried to help you with your internet girlfriend, and this," she ran her hands roughly through her hair. "This is how you repay me?" She shook her head. "I was going to tell you to call me if you need a friend to talk to, but you know what?" She walked towards the door and put her hand on the doorknob. "Go fuck yourself, Will."

"So much for his deal," Laura sighed and looked at Rick. "Arrest him for attempted murder when I'm done, I want him transferred before Deanna realizes what he's told us." She looked to Ann as Danny joined them. "So, he looks better."

"Physically," Ann sighed, "he's recovering." She shook her head. "Mentally?"

"Ann, what is it?" Laura prompted.

"He showing classic symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder," Ann provided to the confused looks of all but Laura.

"That makes sense," Laura commented thoughtfully as she looked at the monitor.

"Could someone explain what that means to those of us without a psychology degree?" asked Rick.

"It means," Laura shook her head a she looked away from the monitor, "that he'll probably spend the rest of his life in either an institution or jail," she sighed. "Or dead." She looked to Ann. "What do we do?"

"We've got him on a variety of tranquilizers to try to keep him calm," Ann began. "And Laura's right, he may never be free again but he's young enough that he can be taught to fit in."

"Taught?" Danny questioned.

"Most of us know, innately, the difference between right and wrong. We're taught, from an early age, the consequences of our actions and that people could be hurt by our actions," Laura explained. "Will," she shook her head, "he doesn't." She looked back to the monitor. "All he sees, all he cares about, is himself. He'll do anything if it benefits him and it doesn't matter who gets hurt."

"This is her fault," Danny said quietly, "Deanna's."

"Yes," Laura commented simply and then turned to the door when someone knocked.

"Detective Hollis?" An attendant asked as they poked their head in the door. "A David Jervis is here to see you?"

"Thank you," Laura answered as she stood, picked up her folder and went out into the hall. "Mr Jervis, I presume?"

"Officer Hollis?" He greeted as he offered her his hand.

"Detective," she corrected as she shook his hand. "Frank get you caught up?" He nodded. "We have him on two counts of attempted murder and one of murder," she provided as she handed him Will's deal. "He's admitted to two already."

"But, with this," he looked up from the deal, "if he says Deanna made him do it..."

"He'll only be held accountable for crimes committed without her knowledge," she nodded. "And even then," she shook her head. "Off the record?" He nodded slowly. "Plead insanity."

"Excuse me?"

"He needs help," she provided. "He may seem sane. He's definitely aware of his actions, however," she studied him, "And he's even aware of the consequences but he doesn't' have the ability to care if people get hurt in the process, including himself." She shook her head. "We could send him to jail. We _should_ send him to jail." She looked down the hall. "Even if Deanna doesn't get to him, he'd get himself killed within a few weeks at most."

"You're trying to help him?" She nodded. "Why?"

"He's not our target."

"You're after Deanna," he surmised, she nodded. "Doesn't explain why you're trying to help him."

"Because he's as much a victim as his sister is," she answered. "And he's my girlfriend's brother; she'd want me to help him if I can." She sighed. "If he doesn't want my help, or refuses to help?" She shrugged. "He goes down with her."

"So, why am I here?"

"I'd have thought that was obvious," she stated, "you're here to protect his rights."

"Or nothing he says can be used against him," he supplied.

"Exactly," she replied. "Give me a minute, I'll grab you a chair."

Once he'd nodded she re-entered the viewing room.

"You're sure you're up to this?" Rick questioned.

"I'm fine," she assured him as she picked up a chair. "Just be ready to move on anything he gives us." Rick nodded. "We're going to get her," she stated firmly, "and he's going to give her to us."

She went back into the hall and motioned Will's lawyer down it and then followed him into the interview room.

"Who are you?" Will questioned as he eyed Mr Jervis.

"This is David Jervis," Laura supplied as he put his chair down next to Will. "He's your lawyer."

"Since when do I need a lawyer to talk to my sister's latest fuck buddy?" He chuckled but then sobered as Laura leaned across the table to unclip his cuffs from the table and he spotted her gun. "What's with the gun?"

"It's not loaded," she deflected as she took her seat and then passed him his deal from the folder.

"You didn't answer my question," Will pointed out. "And why carry a gun if it's not loaded?"

"I've been a cop for almost five years," she provided as she slipped her badge from her back pocket and then slid it across the table to him. "I feel naked without its weight at my side."

"You're a cop?" Will blurted.

"You didn't know?" She smiled. "Deanna does, I'm surprised she didn't tell you."

"She does?" He spit out. Laura nodded. "So why are you here?"

"Mr Jervis?" Laura prompted.

"Detective Hollis has come to offer you a deal," Mr Jervis supplied as he pushed Will's deal closer to him. "It's a fair offer," he counseled. "You should consider it."

Will regarded him a moment and then looked over the offer.

"What does this mean?" Will asked.

"Right," Laura chuckled, "it's not like you attended any of your law classes." She smiled. "We have you on two counts of attempted murder and one of murder."

"Murder?" He blurted. "Who do you think I killed?"

"Robert Kirsch," Will paled visibly. "That one we can prove; we found Bob's original prescription with your fingerprints."

"She," he started but stopped when Mr Jervis put his hand on Will's arm.

"Mr Karnstein," he interrupted. "Sign that before you say anything else."

"I'm still not sure what it means."

"Simply put," Mr Jervis started as he handed him a pen, "you'll receive immunity for any crimes committed on behalf of Deanna Karnstein."

"However, only if you provide us with information that leads to her arrest." She paused to let that sink in. "As for any other crimes," she paused again. "Well, depending on how much help you give us; even those charges might be reduced." She tilted her head. "With any luck you'll be a free man before you turn thirty." She let him digest that. "Will, let me lay it out for you; Deanna hasn't made any attempt to find out how you are. Granted, there's the restraining order..."

"But we got married," he pointed out.

"You're not, actually," Laura corrected. "See here's the thing, marriage involves more than a ceremony, there's paperwork." She could tell the truth was starting to dawn on him. "Paperwork she never filed." Will rubbed his face. "She's after your money, she's only ever been after your money, but she isn't willing to sacrifice her own money to do it." He looked down. "The point I was trying to make, however, is that we have no evidence that Deanna has made any attempt to find out how you are."

"So?" He said quietly.

"So, she either doesn't care or she already knows how you are because someone is telling her," Laura replied. "I'm concerned you're not safe here." She regarded him a moment. "I'm trying to help you, Will, let me."

"Why?"

"You're my girlfriend's little brother," she supplied. "As angry as she is with you, I have to believe she'd want me to help you if I can." She motioned to his deal again. "Sign it, Will, it's your best, and maybe only, shot."

"What do you think?" Will asked his new lawyer.

"Detective Hollis has brought me up to speed on your case," he began. "It's a fair offer." He looked at Laura and then back to him. "As your lawyer, I suggest you sign it." He offered him a pen again. "I'm here to keep you out of trouble," he informed him. "I won't let you say anything you shouldn't."

"Fine," he sighed after he signed it. "What do want to know?"

"Let's start with," she started as she pulled a notepad from her folder. "Why did you infect your sister with the parasite?"

"I didn't," he shook his head. "She told me it was drugs."

"By 'she', you mean Deanna Karnstein?" Laura prodded.

"Yes," he replied. "She told me she wanted Carmilla to get disqualified and suspended."

"But you told Danny..."

"She told me after," Will interjected. "Deanna kept asking how her health was," he shrugged. "She told me when I finally asked why she wanted to know."

"So, she supplied the parasite?" She asked, he nodded. "What about Danny?"

"Deanna told me the symptoms," he supplied. "I thought she'd retain water and miss weight." He shook his head and looked down. "I thought she'd be okay."

"Whose idea was it?"

When Will hesitated Mr Jervis informed him; "Don't answer that."

Will studied him a moment and then looked back to Laura. She held his gaze a few moments, jotted a few words down on her notepad and then continued; "Fine," Laura looked back to him. "Tell me about Bob."

"I didn't know it would kill him," he sighed and rubbed his face. "She said it would make him sick."

"So Deanna supplied the drugs?" Will nodded. "Did she tell you why she wanted to make Bob sick?"

"Have you met Deanna?" he mocked. "You don't ask questions, you just do as you're told."

"But why?" she pressed. "I mean, why do as you're told? Was she giving you money? Sex?" He stomach turned at the thought. "Or was it out of fear?" He looked down. "Your sister has spent her life trying to protect you." He met her eyes again. "Taken numerous beatings so you wouldn't have to."

"Prove it," he hissed.

She regarded him a moment and then slipped three page sized photos from her folder. She slid the first across to him; Carmilla's naked back, slighting pink from the intentional sunburn she'd gotten to make her scars stand out and make them easier to find. He stared at it moment and then pushed it away. She slid the second across to him, this one taken midway through the painting of her scars.

"These have been examined by an expert," Laura began as she gave him the last picture. "He has confirmed these scars are not the result of..." she shook her head, she couldn't say the words aloud. "She couldn't have done this to herself."

"It was self-defence," he said tonelessly.

"Right," she said slowly and then studied him a moment. "Give me something, Will, something, anything, I can use to put Deanna away." She could tell the change of topic confused him. "So far you haven't told me anything we didn't already know." She let that sink in. "If it was enough, she'd already be in jail." She ran her hands her hand through her hair and leaned back. "Give me something, anything, so I can help you."

They regarded each other while Will seem to consider his options.

"I rented out the apartment Deanna rented for me," he began. "Used the money to rent a house in Surrey. Last time I was at Deanna's, before Carm and Danny's fight, I copied her hard drive." Laura raised an eyebrow. "I don't know what's on it, I didn't have a chance to look at it, but it's hidden in a safe under the floorboards under my bed."

She flipped the page on her pad and then slid it over to him.

"Write down the address," she prompted. "You'll be transferred Monday..."

"Transferred?" he blurted as he looked up from the pad.

"I'm trying to keep you safe," she offered. "And, as I said, I don't believe you're safe here."

"Then why wait until Monday?" Mr Jervis inquired.

"Because," she looked at her watch, "we need time to file the paperwork and set up the transfer," she provided. "And we have a distraction planned for Monday." She took her badge from her back pocket and her gun from its holster before handing both of them to Will's lawyer. "If you don't mind, I'd like a few moments alone with your client." She glanced at Will. "Not as a cop, but as his sister's girlfriend," she looked back to the lawyer, "off the record."

"And nothing he says will be held against him?" Mr Jervis asked. When she nodded he turned to Will. "It's up to you, Mr Karnstein." Will shrugged. "I'll be back to consult with you when you're done."

Laura saw him out the door, turned and leaned against the wall beside the door.

"How long was Deanna El?" Will met her gaze but didn't answer. "I've read the conservation, Will, all of it. I want to know, when did Deanna take it over?"

"She didn't," he said quietly.

"It was you?" She tried, but failed to keep her anger in check. "It was _all_ you?" she prodded tersely and ran her hands through her hair roughly. "So you know," she accused. "You know she's telling the truth."

"I know what she's told me," he stated.

"Why Will? Why toy with her like that?"

"I needed..." he sighed and looked down. "One night," he began, "I followed her into Deanna's office, which was weird cause she hated that place," he shook his head. Laura had a feeling she knew what she was about to hear; between Jan's observations and Carmilla's journals, she knew the story but she wanted to hear his side of it. What she didn't know, however, was what had precipitated it. "By the time I got there she was already gone but I found a hidden door ajar." He closed his eyes and pinched his nose. "I found her, Carm, in a room full of hanging pictures. Pictures of her with a bunch of old people I didn't recognize." He shook his head. "She was starting to freak out when we heard a noise out in the hallway. She told me to hide and then went out to face Deanna." He rubbed his face. "I heard them arguing, a thud, and then nothing."

"What happened next Will?" she prodded.

"I went to see what was going on," he shook his head and looked away. "I found them in another room. She had her hands tied and she was hanging from them with her shirt off." He closed his eyes and swallowed. "Deanna had Carm's studded belt in her hand. She saw me, took me back into the hall and told me," he took a shaky breath, "told me, if I didn't use it on her, she'd use it on me."

"So, better her than you?" she accused.

"Does she know?" he deflected.

"That you beat her within an inch of her life?" Laura asked, trying to keep her tone neutral. "There are large gaps in her memory," she supplied. "She doesn't know it was you, but she knows it wasn't Deanna." She shook her head. "You know she isn't lying about the abuse," she stated.

"How do I know that wasn't the only time?" he countered. "You know she was in love with Danny, right?" he taunted and wrong footed her entirely.

"Excuse me?" she blurted.

"The night she threw Danny out of the gym, Dark found her crying her on the roof," he smiled. "Dark told me."

"That doesn't mean..."

"That's what she told him," he interrupted.

"Doesn't matter," Laura said dismissively. "Carm's with me."

"You're sure about that?" he mocked. "What is she to you anyway? Does she even know you're a cop?"

"No."

"So, what? She's your cover while you go after Deanna?"

"No," she sighed, "my cover was a nineteen year old journalism student." Laura corrected. "I fell in love with your sister."

They regarded each other for a few moments before Will leaned back in his chair and laid his cuffed hands across her stomach.

"May I offer a little..." he smiled, "friendly advice?" He waited until Laura nodded slowly. "Get out, Laura, get out now."

"Excuse me?"

"You're a good person, I'd hate to see you," he cocked his head, "get hurt."

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, no, no, no," he chuckled and sat forward. "Just offering a little 'friendly advice'."

She walked over to the table, picked up her folder and went to lean against the wall again with it held in front of her.

"Fine," she smiled, "then let me do the same." She pushed off the wall. "If you ever threaten, or hurt, Carm, or anyone she cares about," she stepped towards the table. "I promise you, when Deanna goes down, and let there be no mistake; she is going down." She put her hands on the table and leaned towards him. "You're going to go down with her." She pushed off the table. "So let me offer you a little 'friendly advice'?" He nodded. "Help me take Deanna down or I promise you, you'll never see the light of day as a free man ever again." She regarded him. "Am I clear?"

"Crystal," he hissed.

"Good," she nodded and walked back to the door. "Then we're done here."

The words were barely out of her mouth when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye and then turned as Will came at her with his hands aimed at her throat. More than a decade of training kicked in as first she kneed him between the legs, caught him with an elbow across his face and then knocked him to the ground.

He lay writhing on the floor, his hands protecting his wounded privates as Rick and two attendants rushed into the room and restrained him.

She knelt beside him as she gathered the contents of the folder from the ground. "I want you to remember one thing, Will," she told him as he stared at her through his tearing eyes. "I _tried_ to help you." She stood and resisted the urge to kick him while he was down. "I'm done, Will, have a nice life."

She turned and left the room, Rick catching up to her and stopping her with a hand on her elbow.

"You okay?" he asked in concern.

"I'm fine," she shook him off. "Check out the house," she said as she took the pad from her folder, duplicated the address, tore it off and handed it to him. "But be careful."

"You think it's a trap?"

"I think he tried to play me from the minute I walked in the room," she told him and leaned against the wall. "He's Deanna's student, through and through." She shook her head. "He doesn't do anything if it doesn't benefit him." She pushed off the wall. "Take everyone; swat, bomb squad..."

"Alright, alright," he soothed. "I'm surprised you don't want in on the search," he joked. "I thought I was going to have to fight you on this."

"No," she shook her head, "if it is a trap I'm not about to walk into it willingly."

"You did good in there."

"No I didn't," she spat. "We still have nothing I can move on."

"Patience, Laura," he soothed. "Your Dad..."

"Don't," she warned.

"Your Dad has been trying to bring her down for twenty years," he pressed on despite her glare. "And yes, you've made more progress in the last four years than he has in all that time, but..." she tried to walk away. "Laura, no, listen to me." She turned back to him. "Patience, Laura, we've almost got her."

"Almost isn't nearly enough."

"It's the closest we've ever been," he differed.

"Whatever," she dismissed. "I need to hit the gym and blow off some steam."

"Laura..."

"No," she interrupted. "I'm pissed off, annoyed, and I need to blow off steam. Keep pushing and I will blow in your direction." She ran her hands through her hair. "Keep me updated." Once he nodded she returned to the interview room to retrieve her gun and badge from Mr Jervis. "Are you going to be able to help him?" she asked him as she reloaded her clip and then put it back in her gun before holstering it, Rick having left her bullets and clip on the table for her.

"It won't be easy," he replied. "But I'll work on the insanity plea."

"Thank you, Mr Jervis," she replied, dismissing him and then looking to Ann. "What?"

"You're not okay," she stated.

"I'm fine," she stated as she put her folder back in her briefcase.

"You're not," Ann corrected and motioned her to sit down.

"No," Laura sighed and sat down heavily, "I'm not," she admitted. "I miss Carm like crazy and I'm frustrated we're not making more progress."

"Did you know?" Ann asked carefully. "That they, Danny and Carm, had feelings for each other?"

"Danny told me this morning that she has feelings for Carm," Laura confided. "I'm not sure how I feel about that," she looked at her tattoo, "let alone the fact that it's mutual." She rubbed her face. "I'm not sure it matters, she'll probably leave me when she finds out the truth."

"You don't know that."

"And neither do you," Laura replied and stood. "Three weeks, Ann, three weeks; that's all I've got." She sighed. "I don't have time to worry about what happens when she gets home."

"Laura," she turned back to Ann, she knew her 'doctor tone' when she heard it. "How are you doing?"

"Danny's been sleeping with me for almost three weeks," she provided. "Apparently I've been having nightmares I'm not remembering and Carm asked her to stay with me."

"See?" Ann smiled. "She's trying to take care of you even though she's not here."

"So?"

"So," she started as she stood and went to take her arms in her hands, "she loves you. All this? Everything you've done to help her? It's all just details; she's a smart girl, she'll figure that out."

"I hope you're right," Laura smiled and pulled her into her arms. "Keep an eye on him?"

"Of course," she stepped back and studied her. "Why are you trying to help him?"

"Cause he's not just Carm's little brother," she confided. "He's probably mine too."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seems so," she sighed. "But keep that under your hat, he doesn't know and if he does I don't want him to know that we do." Ann pulled her into another hug. "I'm going to be okay, I will," she smiled. "I'll shake it off."

"You always do," she teased. "Take it easy this weekend," she leaned back. "And get some rest, you look exhausted."

"Gee, thanks," Laura joked. "But, considering I'm giving a press conference on Monday, you might have a point."

* * *

They'd traveled in silence, Laura staring out the window while Steven drove and Danny respected her need for quiet. There were too many things going through her head. Her thoughts, however, were interrupted when her phone rang about ten minutes away from the gym. She frowned as she answered it and then placed it on speaker; it was Rick and it was a little too soon for him to have reached Will's hideout.

"What's up?" she asked.

"It blew," he replied, "just as they were pulling into the driveway."

"Anyone get hurt?" Laura asked.

"None of our people but one of the witnesses saw movement inside the house just before it blew sky high." Rick sighed audibly. "I'm still about fifteen minutes out but I'll let you know what I find out."

"Rick?" she started. "Transfer him to max, solitary confinement, until Deanna is dealt with."

"Done."

She resisted the urge to throw her phone out the window once she'd ended the call.

"Laura?" Danny prompted carefully.

"Not now," Laura dismissed with a glance at Steven.

"Fine," Danny sighed as they pulled into the gym's parking lot.

Laura got out of the truck without a word and walked towards the gym at a quick pace; she needed to hit something, hard and frequently. Danny, though, with her longer legs caught up to her easily and brought her to a stop before she reached the door.

"Laura," she started, "we need to talk about this."

"You watched the interview?" Laura questioned and received Danny's nod. "Fine," she nodded towards the picnic bench looking over the water. She sat on the table, took her cigarettes from her pocket and lit one as Danny sat beside her. "Is it true? Does Carm have feelings for you?"

"She told me not to say anything," Danny replied quietly.

"Why?" Laura questioned. "Unless..." she sniffed back the tears forming in her eyes. "Unless there's something for me to be worried about?"

"God, Laura, no," Danny rushed to assure her. "She didn't want you to worry when there's nothing to worry about."

"That's what you two were talking about the night before she left?"

"You know what she told me?" Danny smiled. "She told me you're her forever." She chuckled. "And that, had we dated a year ago, we'd have been a disaster."

"But you're not the same people you were a year ago," Laura pointed out.

"No," Danny conceded. "But that doesn't change the fact that we probably wouldn't be friends if we had dated."

"You don't know that."

"No," Danny chuckled, "I think she was right." She reached for Laura's hand. "What you and Carm have?" Laura met her gaze. "It's the kind of love they write poems and songs about. Trust me; it's enough to make a girl jealous." She squeezed her hand. "But I'm happy for you, for both of you."

"That must suck," Laura commented.

"Yeah, Carm said that too," Danny chuckled, let her hand go and then rubbed her back. "She loves you Laura, all this? All the lies?" She stopped rubbing her back and squeezed her shoulder. "It might take a little while, but she'll get over it once she realizes she's never been happier."

"I hope you're right," Laura sighed. "Danny?" She sniffed and rubbed her nose. "I miss her, so much."

"I know," Danny pulled her into a one-armed hug. "I miss her too." She kissed the side of Laura's head. "But I bet she only misses you."

"At the risk of sounding like a total bitch," Laura chuckled. "I hope you're right about that too."

"You going to be okay?"

"In about three weeks, maybe," Laura joked. "Can you..."

"Give you some time alone?" Laura nodded. "Sure."

Danny hugged her and then took her briefcase for her when she offered it. She watched her walk away a moment and then looked back over the water, the tears she'd been fighting all the way back from seeing Will, finally made their way down her face.

They weren't because she missed Carmilla, though she'd already shed more than enough on that account. No, these were tears of frustration, anger and, well, exhaustion. She was tired. So very very tired. The stress of holding herself together coupled with being the keeper of so many secrets was starting to wear thin. Every day was a constant battle to appear strong, to not let the information in Jan's research and Carmilla's journals, get to her. It was dark and twisted stuff and she often found herself wondering, not only how Carmilla survived it, but how had she not turned into another Will.

"Will," she sighed. Was he a lost cause? Had he set them up today? Did he think Laura wouldn't be able to resist the urge to check out his hideout herself? Was he trying to kill her? "What is the plan here?" she muttered and rubbed her face. She'd gone to talk to Will to find answers and only ended up with more questions. Sure, she found some, but nothing she could use against Deanna.

"Time for 'Plan B'," she thought and made her way inside. If Will wouldn't give them Deanna it was time to press her into making a mistake. That's where the press conference came into play, and if that didn't work, Will's transfer to maximum security might. Her phone chimed just as she was about to go into her apartment indicating a text; "She fights on Wednesday and she's fine."

"Damn," she sighed; Dana had promised he'd talk to the coaches, make sure that Carmilla fought the last of the preliminaries to give her more time to recuperate from her fight with Rose. Something must have happened; an injury perhaps? It didn't matter, Carmilla thrived on challenge. She enjoyed fighting her fights close together. She'd be fine.

She headed into the bedroom, intending to change into her workout gear but sat on the bed to take off her shoes and laid back on it instead. More than anything else, Laura hated that she wouldn't be in Carmilla's corner for her fight. In all the time since Carmilla had started fighting this would be the first she'd missed.

But Laura had her own fight to worry about. A fight she was determined to win before Carmilla returned. Because, when she does, Laura was pretty sure she'd have a whole other battle to fight. But she wasn't a quitter and she'd never give up on Carmilla. So many others had, but she couldn't. She smiled; Carmilla was her forever too and she'd fight to the ends of the earth for her.


	22. Shit Disturber

Now

(Two Days to Go)

Carmilla hated waiting and she felt like she'd been doing a lot of it in the last few days. Waiting for Team Pettis to get home last night so she could give her toast. Waiting for weigh-ins. tomorrow would only bring more waiting. Waiting for the fight and then waiting to go home.

She smiled and threw the tennis ball into the wall opposite her and then caught it in her other hand. She was sitting in the hall across from the tournament bracket trying, and failing, to clear her mind of everything but her upcoming fight. The first step was concentrating on nothing but throwing and catching the ball.

Carmilla sighed as the throw with her left hand went wide and she missed it. She crawled down the hall, retrieved it and went back to her spot. She looked up at the tournament bracket again and smiled; she wasn't joking when she said she'd need any luck she had left to beat Randa. She'd gotten lucky against Alex; stunned her and gotten her first ever submission win. While her fight with Joanne had been far more difficult, she'd gotten lucky again. Lucky that her wild attempt at a kick she'd only just learned actually worked. Well, she laughed, not the kick so much as the punch that followed it.

Laura, of course, would say it wasn't luck at all. She'd gone into each of her first two fights prepared and with a plan. Not only that, but she'd actually stuck to her plan. She laughed again; it was easy to stick to a plan when the plan was kept vague. She knew how she wanted the fight to end, what happened before that was up for grabs. She shook her head and started throwing the ball again. Laura would again disagree; maybe, when she'd started fighting, she'd relied on instinct, but since meeting Laura, all that had changed. Now she fought with a combination of both; instinct backed up by skill. Add in the mental aspect and Randa didn't stand a chance.

She studied Randa's picture; she didn't quite understand how she had become so disliked by the entire cast. It was a little weird, not only was her team on her side, so was all of Randa's team. "Gee, no pressure," she laughed.

Randa got lucky in her first fight because Tecia had underestimated her. In a way, so had her next opponent, Felice. Both had assumed they had the fight all but won before they'd even stepped in the cage. True, Carmilla felt the same, but she was going to do to Randa what Randa had done to her first two opponent's; use her confidence against her. But she had to build up that confidence and that was the hard part, what with everyone rooting against her. Some people relished the underdog role and Randa was one of them. She, however, had been cast in the role unwillingly. Raised to believe she wasn't worth a damn. Taught to believe that she deserved the harsh treatment she received. Conditioned to accept that no one liked her, could ever like her, let alone love her. She caught the ball and used her free hand to wipe away her tears; in just a few short months Laura had changed all that. For the first time since her father's death, she felt loved and supported.

She threw the ball again; maybe Laura had been successful because she'd found a friend in Dark. Because of him she'd learned how to trust and that not everyone had ulterior motives. Most of all, he'd taught her that she was someone worthy of being liked. He was there for her when no one else had been in a very long time. Because of him, it hadn't taken Laura long to gain her trust. She smiled; Carmilla had wanted to trust her, maybe it was really that simple.

Carmilla heard the door open and turned to find the show's hairdresser approaching. "Hey," she said as she neared, "I heard you were here, and I kinda have plans tomorrow, so if you wouldn't mind getting your hair done today?"

"Sure," Carmilla smiled, "one less thing to worry about before the fight," she added as she stood and grabbed her bag. She followed her down the hallway and into the room. "Perry?" She questioned as she saw her friend who looked a little nervous. She smiled as she rushed over to hug her. "What are you doing here?"

"You're not..." she stammered as she pushed her away. "You're not cross with me?"

"Are you now, or have you ever worked for my stepmother?" she questioned her gently as she took her hands. Perry shook her head adamantly. "Then any lies you may have told to help Laura help me?" She smiled. "As much as I might not like it, I'm not angry."

"Really?"

"You put your lives in danger to help me," she took Perry's face in her hands as the redhead's eyes welled with tears. "I have no clue why, but how can I be anything but grateful?" She wiped her tears with her thumbs. "I'm confused as hell, yes, no one has ever stood up for me," she laughed and shook her head. "And now I find out I've had people helping me all this time that I had no clue about?" She rubbed her face. "It's," she shook her head, "overwhelming," she admitted. "So," she said slowly as she went to sit, "what are you doing here?"

"Cornrows?" the hairdresser interrupted before Perry could answer.

"Actually," Carmilla replied, "could you cut it to about here?" she asked as she indicated a point just above her shoulders.

"Sure thing," she replied with a smile as she draped a black barber's cape over her.

"So?" she prodded as she glanced at Perry. "Out with it, why, or more importantly, how, are you here?"

"I can answer 'why'," Perry answered as she looked down, "but not 'how'." She looked up nervously. "Sorry, it's just," she sighed.

"Laura's orders?" she offered neutrally to her nod. "Perry, it's okay, really, I get it."

"Laura was," she hemmed and hawed a moment, "concerned, about the amount of stress you've been under, especially the last couple of weeks, so, um, Laf and I came down the Saturday after you got back."

"That doesn't explain why you're here," Carmilla pointed out.

"She thought it would be," she hesitated again, "beneficial, to have someone nearby, a friendly face, someone who's already been there when you've..."

"Oh, for crying out loud," Carmilla chuckled. "She had you guys come down in case I have a panic attack?"

"They were only going to call us if it was absolutely necessary," she clarified. "You've gotten pretty good at handling them yourself, but..."

"You're leaving Vegas tonight," Carmilla informed her fondly. "Go on a vacation, far away from me and my mess."

"But..."

"No, Perry," she forestalled her. "I know Laura is nearby if I need her, go have some fun, okay?"

"Anywhere?"

"Of course," she grinned. "You earned it a long time ago," she assured her. "But why are you here? Now?"

"I wanted to tell you," she looked down. "I've known Laura a lot longer than I have you, but Carmilla? Sweetie?" She walked over and placed her had on her arm. "She loves you and I've never since either of you happier." She squeezed her arm. "She's never explained why she started all this, but that is something I'm sure of."

"Oh, God, Perry," she choked out as tears slowly made their way down her face. "So many people told me how much she loves me when I was home, but," she chuckled. "And I didn't understand why," she shook her head. "But I believe you. So help me, I believe you and you have no idea how much I needed to hear that." She slipped her hand out from under the cape and took her hand. "But I already knew."

"You did?"

"You know me," she prodded. "Actions speak louder than words," she smiled. "And Laura's, while sometimes questionable, have only benefited me. Whatever her motives, I know one of the reasons, is that she loves me." She blushed. "And, when you report back to my girlfriend, tell her I love her." Now Perry was crying. "And it's going to be okay."

"She," she sniffed, "she's going to be so relieved."

"Good," she smiled as she checked the progress on her cornrows in the mirror; her hair was already trimmed and more than half her braids were done. "Now," she smiled, "with affection, go!" she urged, "I need to compose myself before the weigh-ins."

"Oh, no!" she exclaimed. "I came here to make you feel better and now..."

"You have," she rushed to assure her. "I can't act happy, and you've made me elated," she laughed. "I was already going to have a tough time keeping a straight face given what I have planned, I go out there now and I just might have a laughing fit." She tried to shake her head but was stopped with two firm hands on her head. "Sorry," she met her hairdresser's eyes in the mirror and then looked back to Perry. "But," she picked up where she left off, "that would be counterproductive."

"You never cease to amaze me," she told her affectionately. "Good luck tomorrow," she added as she placed a kiss to her temple. "You've got this, kiddo."

"Thanks, Per," she grinned. "Call Laura, she has access to my accounts, go anywhere you want for however long you want." Perry shook her head. "Perry please, go," she urged. "Have some fun for a change."

"This," Perry said hesitantly, "it's almost over, all of it." She smiled. "The show, Deanna, everything." She squeezed her shoulder. "Isn't time you have some fun too? Haven't you earned it too?"

"We're taking the next couple weeks off," Carmilla told her. "We have a lot to talk about, but yeah, I'm hoping to have a little fun too."

"Good," she kissed her forehead again, "'cause you've earned it too."

"Thanks, Perry, for everything," she smiled. "As much as I understand the need to keep this from me to keep me, to keep everyone safe," she shook her head slightly. "I get it, I do, but it isn't easy finding out that the people you've trusted, the first people you've trusted in a long time, have all been keeping things from you?" She sighed. "I'm still, it's..."

"A lot?" Perry offered.

"Yeah," Carmilla agreed. "But I have to keep trusting. I have to believe I wasn't wrong about any of you."

"You're not," Perry assured her. "You're not alone and you haven't been for a while."

"Thanks Perry," she smiled. "Now, go," Carmilla prodded fondly.

"Okay," she sniffed. "I'm going. Take care, sweetie," she smiled despite her tears. "You might not see us, but we're all in your corner, okay?" Carmilla nodded slightly. "Oh, one last thing," she said as she took a small package from her bag, "Laura wanted me to give this to you."

"Go," she urged, "And thank you." Perry nodded, squeezed her shoulder one last time, turned and left.

She wiped her tears and met the hairdresser's eyes in the mirror; "I trust..."

"None of what I heard will leave this room," she assured her.

"Thanks," Carmilla smiled. "You really a hairdresser?" She laughed and nodded. "I only ask because I need a new one and you're fast, interested?"

"Just for your fights?"

"Three to four times a year, all travel expenses covered," Carmilla provided.

"Can I think about it?" Carmilla nodded as she cleaned away her cut hair. "Your friend she's, um, she's..."

"A little high strung?"

"I was going to say 'something else'," she laughed. "I'm Sharon, by the way."

"Nice to meet you," Carmilla smiled.

"That was nice, what you said, about understanding and not being angry."

"Maybe a part of me is," she confided. "I think I figured out why, though," she said thoughtfully as she stood studied her reflection. "I think it's more about why it was necessary; not just that they had to hide it from me but that because they had to do it in the first place." She picked up the package Perry had left for her and then turned to the door when someone knocked.

"Twenty minutes until weigh-ins," she was informed by the PA who stuck their head in the door.

"Think about my offer?" Carmilla asked as she picked up her bag. "All expenses include a significant other, friends, whatever."

"Seriously?"

"I have a private jet, a couple extra people doesn't cost me anything more."

"Didn't that blow up?"

"It can be replaced and probably already has been."

"You're really that rich?" Carmilla shrugged. "I'll think about it."

"Good," she smiled. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Don't you guys usually avoid that?"

"I'm under," she chuckled. "A quick shower isn't going to make any difference."

"Good luck tomorrow," Sharon smiled. "Almost wish I could be there to see it in person."

"Well you're more than welcome to join us for the finale party I'm planning," she smiled. "I'm planning to come down at least a week before so I can adjust to the heat a bit." She winked. "You can give me your decision then."

She smiled and made her way to the shower. Perry's visit had done exactly what Laura had hoped; reassured her that Laura is who she said she is and she couldn't help but smile. She entered the bathroom, locking the door behind her before walking over and putting her things on the counter. She turned the package over and over in her hands; it weighed next to nothing and she wondered what it was. She opened it and smiled so wide it hurt; a flame print bikini. She held it up; however little she thought she knew about Laura, it was clear that Laura knew her well. It was modest, yet still sexy and something she'd have picked out for herself. Laura's message was clear; it was time to stop hiding. But as if that wasn't enough, there was a short note underneath.

"Hey Kitten," she read. "Hope you enjoyed your visit. Should go without saying, but don't tell anyone. Good luck tomorrow even though you don't need it. I can't wait to see you, and hold you, and tell you, in person, how much I love you. Kick ass, baby, you got this."

Carmilla felt the tears on her cheeks before she realized she was crying again. She wiped her tears away angrily; laughing would be bad but red eyes from crying would be worse. She took her favorite jeans and one of her team Melendes jersey from her bag, laid them on the counter and took her out her towel, body wash, and loofa. She hung her towel by the shower, placed her body wash and loofa inside and then started the water. After undressing she stepped under the warm water and lifted her face to it.

She smiled; if she didn't take a shower before the fight, her next would be with Laura. It almost felt like she was there now standing behind her and wrapping her arms around her middle, her body melding to her back. It was easy to imagine since they'd showered together almost every day since they'd started. Such a simple thing; washing each other. Doing for the other something they could easily have done for themselves.

She let out a shaky breath as she rubbed her face; she needed to get it together. Carmilla checked her watch; she was running out of time. She washed quickly, toweled off and slipped into her new bathing suit. She slipped into to her jeans, jersey and sweatshirt after checking out her reflection in the mirror; Laura really had picked her out a nice suit. She started when Bec knocked on the door to let her know she had five more minutes. She stepped up to the mirror, studied her reflection and decided to add a little cover up makeup to the bags under her eyes and a little gloss to her lips. Once she'd returned her things to her bag she made her way to the gym and joined her friends waiting on the bleachers.

"Now that we're all here, let's get started," Dana announced as she took her seat.

"First up, from team Pettis," the official continued, "Randa Markos please."

Carmilla evaluated her next opponent as she shed her clothes before stepping up on the scale; Randa was being her usual stoic self. Or, at least, she appeared to be. She wasn't sure. It couldn't be easy, Carmilla thought, for Randa. She was well accustomed to the feeling of being excluded and disliked. The only difference was that Carmilla had rarely brought it on herself. What her friends, teammates and Randa's teammates failed to understand, because they didn't know, was that they were undermining her efforts to give Randa the false confidence she planned to use against her.

That, however, was about to change.

"One hundred fifteen," the official announced. "Carmilla Karnstein?" he called.

She nodded and patted her friend's knees as she stood, wobbled slightly and put a hand to her head prompting both Angela and Bec to shoot up beside her and take her arms to steady her.

"I'm fine," she assured them as she shook them off, I haven't eaten since this morning so my sugar is a little low." She fished one of her sugar gel packs from her bag, ripped the top off with her teeth and sucked it back as she went to weigh in. She shoved the empty pouch into her jeans pocket and then turned her back to the bleachers as she slowly pulled her sweatshirt and jersey over her head. She heard whispers behind her as she unfastened her jeans and then was able to let them fall to the ground without having to undo them. She chanced a glance in Randa's direction as she took the scale and found her mood unreadable. She looked down to cover her smirk as she waited for the numbers to settle.

"One hundred and eleven," the official stated to renewed muttering.

Carmilla took her time slipping back into her jeans, anything to unnerve Randa further was a bonus. Maybe, if she pushed her far enough, she just might get her to snap. This was, after all, the last weigh-ins of the season, might as well make them worth waiting for. She strolled over to where Randa, their coaches and Dana waited and took up her fighting stance in front of Randa. They stared into each other's eyes a moment, neither willing to back down when Carmilla said under her breath; "Just how humiliating was it?" she taunted. "You know, getting your ass kicked by someone who should be fighting at Atomweight?"

She'd definitely struck a nerve as Randa paled immediately and looked to Dana who was already calling; "Cut!" He looked at both of them; "My office, now!" he ordered and led them away, Randa shooting her nervous glances the whole way to his office as she slipped her jersey and sweatshirt back on.

"I swear I didn't tell her," Randa pleaded as soon as they were alone with him.

"It's true, she didn't," Carmilla affirmed as she took one of the seats in front of his desk. Although Randa visibly relaxed, she wasn't ready to let her off the hook just yet. "Bec and Angela mentioned she was talking some shit when I was away. Something about kicking my ass worse than Laura kicked hers?" She shrugged and looked to Randa with a raised eyebrow. "She really kicked your ass?"

"She didn't show you the fight?" Randa asked skeptically.

"Wait!" Carmilla laughed. "I just figured out why I didn't research you; you're who Laura was supposed to fight the same night I fought Danny! They had you paired up with someone I didn't recognize but I figured I'd check you both out that night." She shook her head and laughed. "You got her spot by default when she broke her arm!"

"Whatever," Randa dismissed and looked to Dana. "Do I still..."

"It'll be up to her," Dana interrupted. "You can go."

Carmilla watched her leave and then looked back to Dana.

"What's up to me?" she asked.

"Not you," he said and uncomfortably and then regarded her. "How much do you know?"

"I already figured out Laura had a professional fight," she shrugged. "She wouldn't have a spot if she didn't," Carmilla reasoned. "I hadn't put much thought into it, but if I had, I would've guessed Randa got her spot." She sat forward. "Wait, what did you offer her?"

"A rematch with Laura."

"You didn't think she'd make it past the first round," she deduced. When he didn't reply, she pondered out loud; "So what? You told Randa to keep quiet and in exchange Laura would agree to a rematch?" When he again stayed silent she prompted; "Wait, you told Laura Randa would stay quiet if she agreed to a rematch!"

"She's right," he laughed, "you are too smart for your own good," he joked as he checked his watch. "We should get back, everyone's waiting for the reshoot."

"Why bother?" she questioned. "I mean, the truth is going to be long out by the time this airs," she reasoned. "It was dramatic," she prompted. "I suppose it's good to have options," she added as she stood. "Just make sure they get a good shot of my back." She stopped him at the door. "Can I ask you one thing?" He nodded. "Aren't you worried she's more cares more about her rematch than she does about the belt?"

"I doubt she'd have made it this far if that were true," he countered.

"Don't worry," she smiled, "I won't give her the chance to take a dive," she assured him. "And I promise; it's going to be epic."

Dana studied her a moment.

"Pull it off and we'll have the finale in Vancouver," he offered.

"Seriously?" she blurted.

"From the sounds of it, half the cast is already going to be there," he joked. "Make your fight more exciting than Carla's and you'll be fighting in your backyard." he held his hand out to her. "Deal?" She nodded and shook his hand. "Tell no one until we make the announcement."

"I thought that goes without saying," she laughed and followed him back to the gym. "Where are we starting from?" she questioned.

Dana forestalled the answer with a finger and gathered the crew a moment.

"From just before stepping on the scale," Dana informed her.

She waited for them to put her back approximately where she was the first time. They adjusted her slightly, double checked that everyone was back in the same spots and then nodded to her. She took off her sweatshirt, jersey and jeans again and took her spot on the scale.

"One hundred ten pounds," the official announced.

She covered her smirk by putting her jeans back on and then assumed her fighting stance in front of Randa again. This time she could see the confusion, the doubt and maybe a little fear, painting her features. She could feel the tension in the room, the coaches just outside her periphery waiting to jump in.

"Might as well give them a reason," she thought as she jerked her whole body forward and hissed; "Boo!" The coaches didn't give Randa a chance to react and jumped in between them. "Oh c'mon!" she laughed. "It was just a joke!"

Her coaches kept their hands on her arms but weren't really restraining her, letting her go as Randa left the gym.

"Shit disturber!" Angela teased as she and Bec joined her, the later handing her bag.

"Just having a little fun," she chuckled. "Be interesting to see which version they end up using."

"Karnstein, a moment?" Gilbert called.

"What's up?" she questioned as he joined them and the four started towards the door.

"Not your weight," he replied seriously. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Look, stress goes straight to my stomach which already wasn't feeling great cause of, you know," she explained. "So, despite how well I've been eating all week, it's really hard for me to maintain my weight." He looked doubtful. "Seriously, I could have been eating McDonald's three times a day all week and maybe made weight but I've felt like crap by the end of it."

"Do want some?" he suggested. "McDonald's? We can bring it by the house in a bit."

"Only if you bring enough for everyone," she countered. "The only people who really shouldn't be eating it are me and Randa. How much do you think it'll annoy her when I do anyway?"

"You're right," Bec laughed and nudged Angela, "she is a shit disturber."

* * *

Later that night Carmilla sat against one of the outside walls of the Ultimate Fighter house compound and as far away from the party inside the house as possible. She had her head against the wall, staring up at the moon and trying, yet again, to calm her thoughts and visual her fight the next day.

Gilbert had been true to his word; he and the entire coaching team and arrived about an hour after they had, each carrying armfuls of McDonald's take out. She grabbed a couple of burgers, some fries and Corona from her fridge and headed outside. Just because she was responsible for the good cheer, didn't mean she wanted to be a part of it. No, all she really wanted was a little peace and quiet. Angela and Bec had followed her outside a little while later and then went to sit a ways off after she'd told them she needed some space and the two had generously offered to stand guard so she could enjoy her privacy.

She looked their way at the sound of voices and found her friends talking to someone she couldn't make out in the dark apart from the fact that she was one of the shorter fighters.

"Would you at least ask her?" she heard as the shorter fighter, Tecia if she wasn't mistaken, had raised her voice in frustration.

"It's okay!" she called to them and drained the last of her beer as her suspicions were confirmed. "Can you grab me another beer and a couple slices of lime from my fridge first?" she asked Tecia as she slipped her key from her wrist and handed it to her along with her empty bottle. "And maybe a bottle of water?" Tecia nodded and walked back to the house, Bec walking over to her once Tecia had passed where she was sitting.

"What was that about?"

"No idea," she smiled. "Sent her to get me another beer and a bottle of water as punishment for disturbing me," she joked. "Besides, must be important to her if she went without complaint."

"So you were testing her?" Bec chuckled as they spotted Tecia returning. "Have fun," she joked before leaving.

"Thanks," Carmilla smiled as she took her beer, limes, water and a bottle opener from her. She put the water and limes aside, opened her beer, and added two lime wedges before take a sip of her beer. "So, what's up?" she asked as she motioned Tecia to sit down.

"Last night, what you were saying," she shook her head. "You thanked us for making your stay here better. I just," she smiled, "you made life here better for some of us too. You made life better here for me," she rubbed the back of her neck. "So, yeah, um, thanks."

"You don't have to thank me," Carmilla replied. "I didn't just do it for you. It might sound selfish, but I did it for me." She shrugged. "Most bullies are bullies because they were bullied. I've been bullied for most of my life," she sighed, "After I ran away from home, I became the bully. I knew I was doing it and I hated myself for it, but I was afraid to trust anyone." She looked towards the house. "This place, it can bring the worst out in people, if for no other reason than sheer boredom." She looked back to Tecia. "I could have all too easy joined my friends in their bullying just for something to do." She smiled. "And I would've hated myself for it." She reached over and squeezed Tecia's hand. "And you really didn't deserve the crap for doing something they would've done in a heartbeat."

"You'd have fought Bec?" she asked doubtfully.

"Had I been in your shoes?" she countered and received her nod. "I wouldn't have been happy about it, but yes." She shrugged. "It's not personal, we're all here to fight for the UFC, and eventually Bec would've seen that, or she wouldn't," she shook her head. "We all have to do what's best for our careers, she understands that." She studied her a moment. "But you know what I think?" She smiled. "I think that isn't what you wanted to talk to me about," Tecia looked down. "So, what's up?"

"When did you know?" Tecia met her eyes. "You know, that you liked girls?"

"I think," she smiled, "I think I always knew there was something different about me, but I had so much else going on that I really didn't put much thought into it." She looked off to the distance. "I met Melissa when I was fifteen and the first time I kissed her I knew," she smiled. "I thought, 'This is what was missing. This is who I am'." She shook her head. "With all the other shit in my life, something finally made sense." She was tempted to ask Tecia why she was asking but felt she wasn't ready to explain. "If you ever need someone to talk to, call me, okay?" Tecia nodded. "I'll give you my number tomorrow."

"Can I ask you one other thing?" Carmilla nodded. "When did you know you were in love with Laura?"

"The day she almost died on me," she replied quietly. "We went for a hike in one of my favorite spots. We'd stopped to talk when a big black dog came barreling towards us just as I was working up the nerve to kiss her. I took off after the dog, she came after me and fell down the hill." She sniffed as she fought back tears. "I came back to find her bleeding out," she took a sip of her beer in an attempt to dislodge the lump in her throat. "There was this moment, like this crystal clear moment, when I knew, I just couldn't see a future without her in it." She took a shaky breath. "When I met Laura," she shook her head. "I was in a dark place, which, considering my life is saying something." She regarded her a moment. "This stays between you and me, okay?" Tecia nodded. "The only reason I'd lived as long as I did was because," she shook her head. "If I committed suicide, my stepmother won." She looked up at the stars. "My life was a shit storm and suddenly that wasn't a good enough reason." She sighed. "I was planning, I had a plan," she looked back to Tecia. "I was scaring myself." She smiled. "And then I met Laura and she saved my life before she ever tumbled down that hill." She chuckled. "Turns out it was even longer than I thought, but that's beside the point."

"You know," Tecia blushed, "you look completely different when you talk about her?"

"Calling me a sap?" she joked and started laughing. "Just don't tell anyone, okay?" Tecia chuckled and nodded. "Wouldn't want to tarnish my tough girl image." She regarded her a moment. "You did good against Bec, I was impressed."

"Really?"

"One could argue that Randa didn't beat you," she reasoned. "You had an uphill battle fighting Bec and you beat her; that took heart. And that," she smiled, "is something I will always admire." She shrugged. "Maybe Bec would have done better if I didn't go home," she shook her head. "We'll never know."

"I'm sorry, about your brother and your friend," Tecia said quietly as the silence stretched. "And I'm sorry cause that's sounds so inadequate."

"I don't know that it's really hit me yet," she confided. "I mean I know, intellectually, that she's gone but I don't think it'll really sink in until I go home and she's not there." She sighed. "As for my brother?" She rubbed her face. "He's been dead to me for a while." She looked back at Tecia and noted her confusion. "But that's complicated and I don't want to get into it."

"Fair enough," Tecia replied. "Thanks for this."

"You're welcome," she smiled and then got on her knees and gave her a hug.

"You can beat her, you know," Tecia assured her.

"I know," she smiled. "And I plan to make it epic."

"Well, good luck," Tecia said as she stood. "I look forward to seeing you kick her ass."

"So do I," she thought as she sat back down and finished her beer as her friends came to join her.

"So," Angela greeted, "what was that about?"

"You know," she chuckled, "I'm still not entirely sure."

"I'm heading to bed," Angela informed them once she stopped laughing.

"Okay," Carmilla smiled. "Make sure I sleep until ten and I'll love you forever."

"You got it kiddo," Angela agreed as she leaned over to hug her.

"I'll be along shortly," Carmilla told her as she opened her water and looked at Bec. "Shall we head in too?"

"In a minute," Bec replied and then seemed to consider her next words. "Carm, um, you know I'm not, you know, like you, but, um…"

"I love you to Bec," she finished for her. "Platonically, of course."

"It's just," she blushed slightly and looked down. "I wanted to thank you."

"For what?"

"Taking care of you, the first week here, it helped me not be so caught up in my own stuff," she admitted. "I, uh, liked sleeping with you in my arms and I think I'm going to miss it so I was wondering if, maybe, you'd like some company tonight?" Carmilla wasn't sure what to say so Bec continued when she didn't answer right away. "I just thought, since Angela is going to help you sleep in, the least I could do is help you get a good night's rest."

"I'd like that," she smiled and reached over to give her hand a squeeze. "But I get the outside."

"You always slept on the inside before," Bec commented.

"Doesn't mean I like it," she replied. "When I'm feeling vulnerable sleeping between someone and the wall is probably a good thing because I tend to panic when I wake up and you'd of kept from running away."

"But that didn't happen," Bec pointed out.

"Because I felt safe in your arms so the dreams, for the most part, didn't get bad enough for me to panic," she provided. "But, when I'm feeling fine, sleeping on the inside can make me feel trapped."

"Fair enough," Bec replied and went to stand. "Shall we head in?"

"It is getting late," Carmilla sighed as she checked the time and then started gathering her things into the middle of her blanket. As the two headed into the house they noticed someone on the balcony looking in their direction. "Damn it," she sighed quietly when she realized who it was; Randa.

"Can I have a moment?" Randa asked as she got close enough.

"I suppose," she sighed and handed Bec her blanket. "I'll be up soon," she told her and gave her a quick hug before the Aussie headed inside. "You wanted a moment, best make the most of it."

"Why didn't Laura tell you we fought?"

"No offence, but that's not really any of your business," Carmilla replied neutrally. "I am curious though, if you want to win the belt so bad, you'd accept a rematch against Laura. I mean, if you manage to beat me tomorrow, you'll be fighting for the belt next," she tilted her head. "Win that and it would be really hard for the UFC to justify matching you two up."

"Because I, like everyone else, thought I had no chance of beating Tecia," Randa admitted. "But then I figured, if I could beat Tecia I had a chance at Felice. Beat her and then I get to beat the woman whose girlfriend kicked my ass. That answer your question?"

"So, you figure beating me will be just as satisfying as beating Laura?" Randa nodded. "How do you figure that?"

"You've been training with her," Randa shrugged. "Presumably she's taught you everything she knows." She regarded her before continuing. "I'm not afraid of you, you know."

"That's you prerogative, I suppose, but I think I should warn you; I've been holding back in my last four fights."

"You have?" she replied cynically.

"I'll have had five fights in the last couple of months," she reasoned. "I couldn't afford to get hurt and have my next fight jeopardized. So, yes, I've been holding back." She stepped towards her. "That isn't a consideration for tomorrow's fight so I have just one more question for you." She raised an eyebrow. "You ready for a brawl?" Randa nodded slightly. "You'd better be," she warned. "I promised my friends a thrilling fight but I can't do that without a willing partner." She smiled. "I'd hate to let them down."

"Can I ask you something before you go?" Carmilla shrugged. "How did you come in a pound lighter after only twenty minutes?"

"You know, I've been thinking about that," Carmilla replied thoughtfully. "I suspect it's a combination of being closer to one ten than one eleven the first time around and drying out a bit more after my shower." She decided on one last dig before leaving her to stew. "But if Laura, who is a natural Atomweight, can kick your ass, I'm not too concerned."

"Both Tecia and Felice are legitimate Strawweights," Randa differed.

"Felice, maybe," she conceded. "But c'mon, Tecia? She's, like, this big," she indicated a point around her shoulder. "She's even smaller than Laura."

"Didn't stop her from beating Bec," she pointed out.

"True," Carmilla smiled and decided on one last attempt to get under her skin. "Pretty sure she beat you too," Carmilla taunted. "Some could argue, and have, that the decision could have gone either way."

"Whatever," Rand dismissed.

"I won't make the same mistake your other opponents made," Carmilla told her as she started walking towards the house. "I'm not underestimating you," she turned at the door. "But I'm still gonna kick your ass worse than Laura did," she threatened and then made her way inside before Randa could reply.

It was going on one in the morning and most of her cast mates had already headed to bed, the few that remained wishing her luck as she passed them on the way to her bedroom. She entered to find Bec already asleep in her bed, gathered her pajamas and headed into the bathroom to use the facilities and change her clothes.

"It's almost over," she thought as she returned to the bedroom. "Less than twenty-four more hours." She sighed; one day from now everything would be different. She might be fighting for A UFC Championship belt in a few months, or she wouldn't. Either way she was looking forward to this part of her journey being over. She missed Laura, her friends, her kittens and home in general. While she was also looking forward to learning the truth, she was also a little frightened by it. True, Laura had shared some, in bits and pieces, since she got back to the house, and she really hadn't been too surprised by any of it but she still wondered why Laura had ever gotten involved in the first place. She sat on the edge of bed, trying not to wake Bec as she looked at her pictures in the semi darkness.

She hadn't been lying to Tecia when she admitted that she was seriously considering suicide before she met Laura. She'd written her goodbye letters assuring all of her friends that it wasn't their fault. All her life she'd dismissed the notion, too afraid to leave Will to fend for himself. But she'd finally let that excuse go once they'd gotten out from under Deanna's thumb. Will had more than enough friends to watch out for him, he didn't need her anymore. For the longest time she'd stayed alive just to spite Deanna. Finally, after all the crap she'd been through in the months before meeting Laura, even that wasn't a good enough reason anymore.

She sighed and settled into Bec's arms; all that had changed when she met Laura. She'd been planning to head up to the cabin the day after they met but had been too tired after her workout with Laura to contemplate the long drive alone. When she'd woken late the next morning, she decided to keep herself busy instead. She'd still thought about it that weekend while she helped Dark finish up the last of the fighter apartments but she found herself smiling more than she had in a long time. Since then she hadn't considered it once. She finally had a future worth looking forward to; an end to her evil stepmother's reign and a life with Laura. In the end, it was the only reason she needed to keep fighting and stay alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful readers, just a note about the conversation with Tecia and all the fighters in the house. While based on real people, this is still a work of fiction, and any conversations are just that, fiction. Part of the reason I decided to include a chat between them is because Tecia recently posted pictures on Instagram of her, her girlfriend and the house she'd bought for her. It's really very sweet and I wanted to acknowledge that. Hope you all enjoyed the new chapter!


	23. Extenuating Circumstances

Then

(Four Days Ago)

Laura moaned as her phone rang, the ringtone was Ethan's and at this time of the morning, it could only be bad news. She, Betty and Steven had followed Nancy back to Las Vegas on Friday. They were even on the same plane as her, heavily disguised, of course. Somehow though, she'd managed to give them the slip at the airport. They'd spent the weekend working with the Las Vegas police department but Nancy had disappeared.

She looked at the time as she answered the phone; "What's wrong?"

"We're not sure exactly," he replied. "She woke up with a wicked headache and she's complaining of cramps and the EMT said she nearly passed out."

"Shit," Laura hissed and sat up.

"She's taking a shower," he rushed to assure her. "And she's agreed to go the hospital but doesn't want to be taken by ambulance."

"No, that's good," Laura said, already planning what she had to do next. "Get there as quickly as possible and tell the doctor to keep her overnight. Be careful, if I'm right, and I'm really scared I am, this is a setup."

"I know how to protect a witness Detective Hollis," he stated.

"She's got five days left," she countered. "Deanna's getting desperate."

"I've got to go, she's on her way out," he informed her and hung up.

She called her contact at the police department next.

"We still have nothing," he said as soon as he answered.

"Now we do," she cut him off. "Carmilla is on her way to the clinic as we speak. I need a command post a few blocks away and get your guys to round up anyone who would have had contact with her medication; check the list I already gave you. I want a three block perimeter around the clinic and once she's inside no one else gets in the clinic, understood?"

"Consider it done."

"Text me the address of the command post as soon as it's set up and take everyone there," she requested. "I need to call Dana."

"We'll get it set up as quickly as we can," he replied before hanging up.

She rubbed her face and then went to the bathroom, splashed some water on her face, used the toilet and then headed back to the bedroom to gather her clothes for the day as she called Dana.

"Mr. White," she greeted. "Care to tell me how the fuck this happened?"

"Excuse me?"

"Carmilla's medication was clearly marked along with a note from her doctor explaining that she is to take it consistently," she informed him dryly. "I'm not sure how much you know about how birth control pills work, Mr. White, but they usually come in blister packs of twenty-one or twenty-eight with seven of those pills being placebos so the woman can have her period. Carmilla suffers from something called Endometriosis. In a nutshell, she suffers from terrible cramping and nausea. The last time she had her period it knocked her on her ass for three days."

"I'm still not sure I understand."

"She doesn't take breaks in her pills so she can mitigate the damage and the downtime that comes with it," she explained patiently. "I put all her pills in a bottle, no placebos, along with the doctor's note explaining why she has to take them." She let that sink in a moment. "She's fighting in five days, someone did this on purpose." She sighed. "Either to get her out of house or to torpedo her fight."

"Are headaches are a part of it?"

"Not typically," she began to pace. "Get everyone out of the house for the day, test all the food and look through all of the footage with attention to anyone who came in contact with Carm's food."

"She's already on her way to the clinic."

"I know, and she's going to stay there overnight," she advised him. "I want a fridge installed that only she has the key to, stocked at all times with Corona, limes, water and fresh fruit. I'll have all her meals prepared and delivered for the rest of the week."

"You think someone gave her a headache?" he asked, clearly unconvinced.

"She has a few migraine triggers," she related. "It would have been all too easy to slip her any one of them."

"So which do you think it is?" he questioned. "Torpedo her fight or get her out of the house?"

"I suspect, whatever the play, this was put in place at least a week ago," she deflected. "Frankly, I won't know which one is the play until it plays out."

"That's comforting," he joked.

"Will you do everything I've asked?" she inquired.

"It'll be done before she gets back tomorrow," he replied.

"You should know that Vegas PD is rounding up all staff with access to Carmilla's medication as we speak," she informed him.

"Surely that isn't necessary," he interjected. "We ran background checks on every single person. I'm assuming you did the same."

"We did," she confirmed. "What you fail to understand Mr. White is that, for the right amount of money, even a good person can be bought." She sighed. "She could have had this in place for weeks." She smiled. "The good news is, Deanna is under twenty-four hour a day guard, she can't make any new plans, or at least, not put in them in play."

"That's good, I suppose," he sighed. "Let me know what you find out from my staff?"

"I'll do you one better," she replied. "We're setting up a command post a few blocks from the clinic, I'll text you the address once I get it, you can meet me there."

"Fine," he accepted. "Good luck, Miss Hollis."

He hung up before she could reply. She shook her head and started getting dressed into a pair of lightweight black slacks, a black tank top and a lightweight white dress shirt. Last, she slipped on her shoulder holster, checked her gun's clip and then slipped it into her holster. The whole time she was getting ready she was going over her plans for the day and everything that needed to be accomplished in that time.

Finally, she grabbed a few things for the day; she had a feeling it was going to be a long one and wanted to be prepared. She took her backpack from the closet, smiling when she opened it and noticed a bag she'd forgotten about. She was killing time while they were waiting for their flight and she'd found a stuffed black panther that looked like a slightly larger version of their kitten Trill. She'd bought it, at the time, because it reminded her of Carmilla, now she was thinking, with the way Carmilla had to be feeling, that she'd try to get it to her instead.

"'Morning Perry," she greeted, making her way to her laptop once she'd entered the living room.

"Breakfast?" the curly redhead offered.

"Only if you can make it to go," Laura replied as she opened a folder marked 'Carmilla' on her laptop. She found Carmilla's fight week meal plan, made a few adjustments and added a few items to the bottom before printing it off. "I need a favor," she began as she collected the printout and walked over to join Perry in the kitchen. "Something's up," she held up her hand to forestall Perry's questions. "Don't ask, I'm not sure what, and I don't want you to worry if there's nothing to worry about, but Carmilla got her period and woke up with a wicked headache." She placed her hand on Perry's wrist and squeezed. "She'll be fine but I'm concerned about how someone set off her migraine. I need you to take Steven and grab everything on this menu," she explained as she handed her the paper. "We'll be making her meals for the rest of the week, just to be safe." Perry nodded. "Where's Laf?"

"Out on the balcony," she provided. "Coffee?"

"I can get it, thanks," Laura suggested and went to make herself a cup before joining LaFontaine on the balcony. "Hey, Laf," she greeted as she went to take a seat next to them. "Carm got her period and a migraine; got anything to help?"

"I can whip something up in a few hours," Laf replied thoughtfully. "It'll probably knock her out for eight to ten hours."

"That's fine," she chuckled as he phone vibrated in her pocket. "She probably needs the sleep anyway." She checked the text; it was the address for the temporary command post. "Text me when it's ready, I'll let you know where I am." LaFontaine nodded as they got up and headed to their make-shift lab. Laura followed them inside, finishing her coffee as she went to put her laptop in her backpack.

"Coffee," Perry supplied as she placed two travel mugs beside her. "And a protein shake."

"Thanks Per," Laura replied fondly and gave her friend a one armed hug.

"Laura?" She met Perry's eyes. "Should I be worried?"

"I don't know yet," she answered honestly.

"Be careful?"

"Always," Laura assured her and gathered her things. "Wait on Laf? They're putting something together for Carm, might as well make one trip." She wrote down the command post's address for her.

"I'll bring you lunch?" Perry suggested.

"Thanks, Per," Laura smiled and went to grab a couple bottles of water from the fridge. She added both to her bag and then texted Dana the command post's address.

He replied immediately; "Be there in fifteen."

She sighed and rubbed her face; she wasn't sure she was up for this. She chuckled and slung her backpack on one shoulder; she wasn't sure what she wasn't up for.

"Laura?" She felt Perry's hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"Frustrated," she confided. "I'm tired of reacting," she sighed. "Deanna, she's always one step, or more, ahead." She ran her hands through her hair. "It's just, we've got her, ya know? And she still manages to get to her."

"Come here," Perry said affectionately as she pulled her into a hug. "You're stronger than you know," she assured her. "And so is Carmilla."

"Yeah," she sighed. "Just wish she'd figure that out."

"You've been helping her to," Perry pointed out.

"I have to go," Laura stepped away and slipped on her second backpack strap. "Call first," she sighed. "I really have no idea what's going on or where I'll be by then." Perry nodded. "Wish me luck?"

"Good luck."

Laura made her way out to her Jeep, shaking her head and chuckling at the thought. "Her Jeep." None of this, the house, the car, none of it belonged to her; it was all Carmilla's. Bill was doing his very best to endear himself to his daughter. She opened the driver's side door, threw her bag on the passenger seat and climbed in. He'd offered, after hearing Laura's idea of a road trip after the show, to buy them a house just outside of Vegas. He'd reasoned that they didn't want to wait two weeks to see Carmilla but staying at a hotel probably wasn't a good idea. Not that traveling to Vegas was a great idea in the first place but, with Deanna being under twenty-four hour surveillance, it was as safe as it was going to get. "Benefits of a private plane," she chuckled again as she pulled up to the silver motorhome just inside the gates to the house and honked her horn. "Hey," she greeted as Steven made his way over. "Something's up," she informed him as she texted him the command post's address. "I need you to drive Perry and Laf to the grocery store. I just texted you an address," she frowned, "I think it's a couple blocks away from the clinic." She shook her head. "Call first."

"What's going on?"

"I'm not sure," she replied honestly. "I'm not," she reinforced at his look. "I'll keep you updated, promise."

"Fine," he smiled tightly, "go be a hero."

"Steven," she chided.

"No," he cut her off. "You're what? Keeping us safe?"

"Yeah," she spat back, "because that's been working so well for me so far!" She ran her hands roughly through her hair. "If the only thing I can do to keep people safe is to keep them as far from this as possible, shouldn't I?"

"Maybe," he replied neutrally. "Or maybe you should let them make the choice for themselves?"

"Would you have helped me if you knew what you were getting into?" she countered hotly but was distracted by her phone.

"Drive around back, bring car inside," the text read.

She typed the address into her GPS before answering. "Be there in 30."

"Good, most of Med crew on way here," the Chief replied.

"I have to go," she advised him. "Make a choice, Steven, I don't care anymore. Either you're in as far as I can let you or you're out. I won't be responsible for either of you getting hurt again."

"What about your 'road trip'?" he mocked.

"It's not essential," she shrugged. "As long as I can talk to her away from everything, it doesn't really matter where it happens. Just," she rubbed her face, "stick it out till I get her back here on Friday?"

"We're not going anywhere."

"Thank you," she nodded. "I'll see you in a bit." He regarded her a moment before he nodded. She sighed and drove off; she shouldn't have lied to the Xanders and she'd never forgive herself for getting Betty hurt. True, Betty had her own reasons for getting involved, but that didn't make Laura feel any better.

She pulled into the parking lot of a warehouse a few blocks from the clinic a little while later where she was waved inside by a couple of uniformed police officers. She parked next to a line of cars and studied the scene a moment as she shut off the Jeep and grabbed her bag; they'd done a lot in a short time.

Laura sighed as she noticed the Sheriff walking over, he didn't look happy.

"Detective Hollis," he greeted as she opened her door.

"Sheriff Denman," she replied as she shook his hand. "This is impressive," she commented with a wave to the almost complete wall of monitors being set up.

"We had everything ready," he shrugged. "We just needed somewhere to set it up. We've got a perimeter set up from here and around the clinic. We're just running plates, low key, like you said, but it's a pretty quiet area."

"Good," she regarded a table with six people sitting at it. "They from the house?"

"Yes," he nodded. "But I think you only need to talk to him," he indicated a nervous looking older man.

"Alright," she gathered herself. "Is there somewhere I can talk to him alone?"

"I have an office set up in there," he indicated a door near the back.

"Okay, bring him in," Laura instructed and made her way to the office. She'd only just settled behind the desk when the door opened to admit the Sheriff and the older gentleman. "Good day, Mr.?"

"Doctor," he corrected tersely. "Barclay."

"Doctor Barclay," she smiled and waved him to a chair. "Please, sit." He nodded and sat. "Now," she grew serious, "what can you tell me about Miss Karnstein's condition?"

"I received this a few weeks ago," he started as he took a manila envelope from inside his jacket. "I was only following her doctor's orders."

"I see," Laura replied and looked at the Sheriff. "Gloves?" He nodded and took two from his pocket and handed them to her. She slipped them on and then took a sheet of paper from the envelope along with two blister packs of medication. She scanned the letter and shook her head. "And you changed Miss Karnstein's medication without consulting her?" He nodded. "Scan this and get it to Rick Graham in Vancouver. Tell him to track that number," she instructed the Sheriff. "And get those tested," she added and slid the blister packs towards him. She looked back to the doctor as the Sheriff left. "The letter is a fake," she stated and studied him a moment. "Did you receive any," she searched for the right word, "compensation, for changing Miss Karnstein's medication?"

"No," he stammered. "I was just following her doctor's orders."

"I suggest you not leave town, Doctor Barclay," she informed him.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" he protested.

"You changed a patient's medication without her consent," she argued. "If you'd taken thirty seconds to compare the letter you received with the letter that was sent with her." At his look of confusion she provided; "It's a different phone number." She glared at him. "If anything happens to her because she had to go the hospital today I am holding you personally responsible, am I clear?"

"I don't..." he stammered.

"If she loses on Friday as a direct result of what happened today," she continued despite his protest. "I'll see to it that Miss Karnstein sues you for every penny, am I clear?" He nodded slowly. "While technically you did nothing wrong, you were, at the very least, irresponsible in her care." She stood and leaned towards him. "So help me God, if you've conspired with Deanna Karnstein to torpedo Miss Karnstein's fight, I will see to it you spend the rest of your life behind bars." She let him sit with that a moment. "So, I'll ask you again, Doctor," she stood straight and removed her gloves, "did you receive any money to follow these instructions?"

"No!" he protested.

"Good," she smiled. "So you're just incompetent," she mocked. "Don't leave town," she ordered and motioned him to leave. She grabbed her bag, followed him out and waved the Sheriff over. "See that he's protected, twenty-four seven, understood?" He nodded despite his surprise. "Take everyone else back to work."

"We might have something," he jerked his thumb towards the cameras. "I'll take care of this, be right back."

She returned to her Jeep for her protein shake and then made her way over to monitors. "What have we got?"

"This van," a technician replied.

"Where is that?" she asked.

"Across from the clinic," he supplied.

"What's suspicious about it?"

"We've been monitoring the area directly around the clinic since Miss Karnstein's first visit," the Sheriff supplied. "Our last full sweep was yesterday morning," he nodded at the van. "It was parked there sometime between then and now."

"We have movement," the technician announced before Laura could reprimand them for not checking into it sooner.

"Isn't that?" the Sheriff stammered.

"Nancy," she supplied. "Shit," she hissed.

"Arrest her now..." the Sheriff had started to bark into a radio but Laura grabbed it from his hand.

"Belay that order!" she shouted into it.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the Sheriff bellowed at her.

"Saving lives!" she countered angrily. "Look at her!" she pointed at the screen where Nancy was shuffling towards a bench. Her blond hair was unkempt and dirty, her tan trenchcoat had stains all over it and her gait was explained by her bare feet. More worrisome still was the way the coat seemed to make Nancy seem bigger than she was.

"It's a trap," the Sheriff commented calmly.

"Probably," Laura conceded. "But I know Deanna." She turned from the screen to address him. "I've been studying her for almost a decade. Send a swat team and they're dead." She looked back to the screen. "And so is she."

"And what makes you think she won't kill you?" he countered.

"Because it's not just a trap," Laura explained. "Deanna wants to find out what I know before she kills me," she held up her hand. "She's tried to kill me before, and failed." She looked back to the screen. "Nancy and I have one thing in common; we both love Carmilla. She won't hurt me if I can keep her safe." She shook her head. "Deanna doesn't like loose ends. If Nancy has been working with Deanna for as long as I suspect she has, she knows it's just a matter of time before her usefulness runs out."

"And if she succeeds and kills you?" he differed.

"I won't let her," she stated.

"It's not that simple!"

"She's been trying to have me killed since I was fourteen," she pointed out hotly.

"Your point?"

"I'm still here. No listen!" She held her hand up to stem his objections as she took her Bluetooth from her pocket. "You'll be listening. Get a sharp shooter in position, if it goes south, take her out. Set up a one block perimeter and have emergency services on standby. If this goes sideways it'll go fast." He nodded. "Call the clinic, tell them to move Carm to a back room. She can't know anything about this. No!" She held up her hand again. "She finds out and Deanna still wins."

"Fine," he accepted. "At least wear a vest."

"I have my own," she nodded towards the Jeep. She walked over to the map and pointed at a parking lot across from where Nancy was sitting. "I'll park there." She looked back to him. "I need a tape recorder." He nodded and directed one of the technicians to find one. "I'm going to get ready."

"Good luck, Detective Hollis," he said tersely as he handed her a mini recorder. "I hope your instincts are right."

"Me too," she thought and made her way back to her Jeep. She went around to the trunk and retrieved Carmilla's black leather vest. She slipped it on and smiled; it was almost like having Carmilla watching her back.

Laura parked the Jeep across from Nancy a short time later and sat a moment studying her. She took the recorder from her shirt pocket, turned it on, and put it back in her pocket. "Check, one, two..." she tested at a normal speaking volume. She took it out and ran the tape back. Her voice played back to her, only slightly muffled. It would have to do. She took a deep breath and looked back to Nancy again; her heart was racing.

"Girl the hell up, Hollis!" she chided herself as she put her Bluetooth in her ear. She dialed the Sheriff's number, and waited for him to answer.

"Give us five more minutes," he informed her. "Our sharpshooter is still getting into position."

"Fine," she sighed as she slipped her phone into her pocket.

"Okay," he said, startling her a few moments later as she'd been again studying Nancy. "Take it slow, Detective, your friend, Rick, will kill me if anything happens to you."

"I'm lowering your volume," she informed him. "I don't want you distracting me." She didn't wait for his reply as she took her phone back out of her pocket and lowered the volume. "Yell for me," she instructed. "That I heard."

She took a few deep breaths and got out of the Jeep. She approached her cautiously, her gun drawn but held low as she drew close.

"You won't need that," Nancy informed her tonelessly as she continued to stare at the clinic.

"No?" she questioned skeptically.

"I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Then why are you here?" Nancy went to reach inside her jacket, stopping when Laura ordered; "Slowly!" and raised her gun.

"It's just a piece of paper," Nancy supplied and then took a crumpled piece of paper from her coat and held it out to her.

Laura approached, her eyes never leaving Nancy's face as she reached for the paper with her left hand and then backed away quickly. She shook it open and read; "Sometime in the next three days Carmilla will be admitted to the clinic across from where you will be parked. You have twelve hours from the time you are informed that she is on her way to kill her. Contact anyone, you die. Try to remove the vest, you die. Succeed, and you disappear."

She looked back to Nancy.

"Look at the back," Nancy instructed.

"Is this?"

"Blood?" Laura nodded. "Yeah, sorry, they didn't exactly leave me anything to write with."

"What is this?" Laura questioned, she didn't recognize the address.

"Something she doesn't know about," Nancy replied. "Any questions you have, they'll be answered there."

Laura turned the letter back over and re read the instructions. She wanted to ask about the vest but there were more pressing questions she wanted answered first.

"Why did you kill you Frank?"

"You saw the pictures?" Laura nodded. "You blame me?" she spat. "You saw what he did to her!" she accused.

"We have evidence, solid evidence, that the pictures were staged," she informed her calmly. "Where's the gun?"

"Here," she replied and went to reach inside her coat again.

"Slowly," she ordered again. "Put it on the ground and slide it over." Nancy awkwardly bent over and then kicked it over to her. "How did you get here?"

"I saw you following me at the airport," she sighed. "So I called Deanna for help. Next thing I know this short little brunette is ushering me into a van. There was someone else in the back, they knocked me out. I woke up yesterday, I think," she shook her head. "What day is it?"

"Monday."

"Oh," she sighed. "I couldn't tell."

"So why are you here?"

"You read the note," she said, finally looking at her. "I'm already dead," she chuckled dryly. "I was dead the minute I started working with her."

"Why did you?"

"Because I love her, Carmilla I mean," she replied sincerely. "I thought I could protect her better if I knew what Deanna was up to..." she trailed off at a beeping noise. She looked to her chest in fear as it beeped again.

"What's going on?" Laura questioned as she took a few steps back, picking up Nancy's gun while Nancy began unbuttoning her coat to reveal a bulky vest and digital timer in the middle of her chest, the numbers counting down faster than normal.

"Laura," Nancy met her eyes. "Run!"

"Get back in the van!" Laura instructed. "It's the only way to minimize the damage!"

"Laura, just run!"

Laura did as she was told, slipped Nancy's gun and letter into her pocket and sprinted for her Jeep. She didn't make it that far though as she felt sharp pains in the backs of her legs following a loud explosion. Laura hit the ground hard, her hands going up to protect her head as second explosion sent small pieces of shrapnel over her.

She laid her forehead on the pavement and assessed her injuries as she heard the sound of many footsteps approaching.

"Don't move!" someone ordered as they approached.

"I'm fine," she hissed as she attempted to get to her knees, failed, and fell back down. "Okay, not fine."

"Just stay still," the calm voice of the Sheriff instructed. "They're bringing a stretcher, you've got shrapnel in the backs of your legs and arms."

"Damn it," she sighed and propped herself on her elbows the best she could. "Take my vest, the gun and letter are in my pocket." She ordered as staff from the clinic arrived with a gurney. "Get that address to Rick, tell him to move quickly but carefully."

"Okay, Miss Hollis, we're going to stand you up and then lay you on your stomach on the gurney," one of the staff instructed. "Ready?"

"Sure," she sighed but took comfort in the fact that they were having her stand; if she was that badly hurt they wouldn't attempt it. Unfortunately, that was the last thought she had before everything went dark.

* * *

Laura woke a few hours later and lay a moment trying to figure out how badly she was hurt before alerting Perry, who was sitting across the room, that she was awake. They had her propped up on her side, an IV in her left arm and everything hurt. She went to rub her eyes, but groaned as she tried.

"Oh good, you're awake," Perry exclaimed as she rushed to her side.

"How long have I been out?" she asked as she tried, and then with Perry's help, succeeded in sitting up.

"A few hours," Perry provided.

"And Carm?"

"She was still asleep, last I heard," she smiled. "Laf is out getting her some McDonald's, want some?"

"Please," Laura thought a moment. "Ten McNuggets, medium fries and a medium chocolate shake." Perry took out her phone and texted LaFontaine Laura's order. "Did anyone bring my Jeep over?" Perry nodded and took her keys and phone from her pocket. "Where's Carm's vest?"

"I think the police took it." She frowned. "Something about evidence." Perry shrugged. "The Sheriff gave me your phone and keys." She shook her head. "He did mention it probably saved your life." She smiled. "I'll, uh, go fetch the doctor? Let him know you're awake?"

"Thanks, Perry," Laura smiled. "Can you grab my backpack from the Jeep?" She looked at her elbows and noted the bandages. "Can you see if I have a long-sleeved shirt?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

Laura looked at her phone a moment, sighed, and then called Rick.

"Hey, kiddo, how ya feeling?" he asked fondly.

"Like someone took a baseball bat to me," she groaned as she tried to stretch. "Repeatedly." He chuckled. "Did the address Nancy gave me pan out?"

"It did," she could almost imagine his grin. "Surprisingly it didn't blow up either," he joked. "The biggest find was Nancy's journals; she documented everything she took part in, both for Will and for Deanna, over the last decade."

"That's huge!" She smiled. "Have you spoken to the Sheriff?"

"I have."

"Is he looking for Julie?"

"Julie?" he questioned.

"Shit, I have to call him," she growled.

"Okay, I'll update you tomorrow, get some rest," he replied before hanging up.

"Detective Hollis, nice to see you're back with us," the Sheriff greeted when he answered.

"I need you to hunt down Julie Malcom and, shit, her brother, Julian." Despite the fog muddling her thoughts the pieces were starting to fall into place.

"Your girlfriend's plane bodyguard and mechanic?" he questioned.

"You were listening, right?"

"I was."

"Nancy said she was met by a short brunette, that's Julie," she shook her head. "She knows her way around the airport, totally makes sense that she'd be able to get her out without us seeing."

"Alright, we'll get moving on it," he assured her. "About what happened this morning..."

"I stand by what I did," she interjected.

"And you were right to," he offered. "I was going to tell you, there were two explosions. She blew up before she reached the van, the shrapnel came from her, and the van went a few seconds later."

"Deanna one-oh-one," she commented dryly. "She knew Nancy wouldn't go through with it but she was hoping she'd get close enough to hurt one of us. And then, just for good measure, she blew up the van so there'd be no evidence left behind." When the silence stretched for a little too long. She prompted; "Sheriff Denman?"

"This woman, Deanna, she's some piece of work, isn't she?"

"Tip of the iceberg," she laughed.

"We'll do whatever we can, Detective Hollis," he sighed. "Pity your country doesn't have the death penalty."

"I don't disagree with you Sheriff," she conceded. She nodded at the doctor when he entered and held up a finger to beg his patience. "I have a funny feeling I'll be spending the night at the clinic." The doctor nodded. "I'll come by the station tomorrow afternoon?"

"I'll text if anything comes up before then," he offered. "Get some rest, Detective, you've earned it."

She looked at the phone a moment after he disconnected and then looked at the doctor. "How's she doing?"

"Typical," he chuckled. "You almost get yourself blown up and you're more worried about her." He shook his head. "She's been asleep on and off since she got here. Mr. White is waiting to speak to you."

"So, she's still in a lot of pain?" She asked, throwing him slightly when she didn't reference Dana's presence.

"I'd say so," he raised an eyebrow. "Would you like to tell me," he took a large syringe from his pocket, "what exactly this is?"

"My friend Laf gave you that for Carm?" He nodded. "It's not anything illegal," she considered her words. "Not so far as the banned list of substances, at any rate."

"That still doesn't explain what this is," he pointed out.

"Laf is a brilliant bio-chemist," she smiled. "What you hold in your hand is a an organic compound that will speed up her healing process. Instead of this knocking on her ass for a few days, she'll be back to training by tomorrow afternoon."

"That sounds an awful lot like cheating," he commented.

"The effects wear off within twenty-four hours and normally I'd agree," she reasoned. "However, given this was a targeted effort from outside forces to cripple her chances on Friday, I feel wholly justified in helping her bounce back as quickly as possible."

"Your friend said to add it to a full bag of saline," he said thoughtfully. "And that it would knock her out pretty quickly."

"You're keeping me overnight?" He nodded. "I need to see her," she stated.

"I won't try to stop you," he smiled. "But walking might be an issue."

"Okay, fine, tell me about my injuries," she laughed.

"Your vest saved your life," he began. "We took more than a dozen pieces of shrapnel from the backs of your legs. One particularly nasty one was almost to the bone. That's going to take a few weeks to heal. Your knees are also pretty scraped up, as are your elbows. We also removed several pieces from the backs of your arms, one of them took a pretty significant chunk out of your left arm. That's, um, that's going to leave a nasty scar, I'm afraid."

"That's okay," she chuckled. "Chicks dig scars, right?"

"That's what I'm told," he laughed. "We ran both an MRI and a CT, you have a mild concussion." He smiled. "We'd like you to stay overnight for observation." He turned to the door as Perry, looking nervous, returned with Dana White in tow. "I'll leave you to rest Miss Hollis, but I suggest you limit how much you try to walk." She nodded. "I'll come by and check on you before you go back to sleep."

"Doctor? Two last questions?" He nodded. "Where can I go for a smoke?"

"There's a picnic table on the roof," he supplied with a smile. "Let one of the nurses know when you want to go up and they'll give you a hand." He smiled. "And your second question?"

"Can you take this IV out?"

"Do you see what you're hooked up to?" he questioned as he walked back over to her. She looked at her IV and realized she was receiving a blood transfusion. "Unfortunately, the piece of metal that was almost to the bone nicked your femoral artery when they stood you up. Fortunately, you didn't lose that much blood."

"Than surely this," she indicated the IV, "can wait until later?"

"I'll remove your IV on the condition you don't try to walk on that leg," she nodded. "Fine," he sighed and looked at Dana. "Damned fighters are so stubborn, how do you put up with them?" he asked, Dana only shook his head and laughed.

"Thank you, Doctor," she said when the doctor removed her IV and then turned to Perry as she brought her bag.

"Sorry, it's all I could find," Perry apologized as she handed her Carmilla's red flannel shirt. "It's a little warm for here."

"No," she smiled, "it's perfect, thank you." She looked at Dana. "I'm going to go up the roof for a smoke, care to join me?" He nodded. "Would you mind giving me five minutes to put on some clothes?"

"Of course," he smiled. "I'll be right outside."

"Perry?" she prompted before the redhead went to follow him. "I could use some help getting dressed." Perry smiled and walked back over, the look on her face one she couldn't fathom. "What?"

"I've never seen you ask for help before," she commented as she went to undo Laura's gown.

"Then you haven't been watching carefully enough," Laura sighed as Perry put her t-shirt over her head and then helped her put her left arm through the armhole. "I've had help every step of the way," she shrugged and winced. "And I'm not so stubborn to not ask for help when I need it."

"And if you do get to see Carmilla tonight?" Perry started gently. "How exactly are you going to hide how hurt you are?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "Have someone roll me in when she's asleep and then leave when she falls back to sleep?" Perry slipped her jeans over her feet and then helped her stand so she could pull them up. "Damn it," she hissed as she fell back onto the bed. "He wasn't kidding about the leg." Perry rolled a wheelchair over from the corner of the room and then helped her to sit in it before slipping her running shoes on for her. "Can you ask Laf to whip something up for me?"

"They already are," she laughed. "They left as soon as we got here to go back to their lab and 'whip' something up for you."

"Thank you Perry," she reached back with her right hand and squeezed Perry's hand on the handle of the wheelchair. "Not just for today, but for everything, I don't know what I've done without you the last few days."

"It's nothing, really," Perry dismissed.

"You're joking right?" Laura laughed. "You completely furnished two houses in the last week," she tried to turn to face her but couldn't. "I'd hardly call that nothing." She patted her hand. "Can you grab my smokes, lighter and phone?" Perry returned with them a moment later. "Thanks, Per," she sighed. "C'mon, I gotta talk to big bad Dana White."

"He doesn't seem so bad," Perry commented as she wheeled her out to meet him. "I'll, uh, text when Laf gets back?"

"Sure, thanks again Perry," she said and then smiled when Perry kissed the top of her head. "Mr. White? If you don't mind, I could use a push." He nodded, took Perry's place and then started pushing her towards the elevator.

"So," he started slowly once they were in the elevator; "care to tell me what the fuck happened this morning?"

"I was right," she replied as he leaned against the wall so they could see each other as they talked. "But Deanna underestimated how much Nancy still cares," she shook her head and corrected herself; "cared about Carm." She sighed. "Deanna had her kidnapped from the airport, probably had her sitting in that stinking hot van ever since." She shook her head. "I doubt she ever planned to go through with it," she commented thoughtfully as the elevator came to a stop. "I suspect she just wanted to see her one last time." She took a deep breath of fresh air as they exited. "Can you wheel me over to the front?" He aimed her in that direction. "I want to see how much damage there is." He stopped her and then helped her stand. "Shit," she sighed as she surveyed the damage. "Tell Ethan to take her out the back tomorrow morning..."

"Laura?" Dana prompted as she fell back into the wheelchair. "Are you okay?"

"No, I, uh, forgot my lighter," she stuttered, she'd spotted a gunman on the roof directly across from the clinic's entrance but she had a feeling he wasn't alone and she didn't want to panic Dana, or worse, tip off a potential second shooter that she'd spotted the first.

"But it's..."

"Dana, please don't panic," she rushed out. "But we have a problem, now wheel me back to the elevator quickly but calmly." He did as she asked. "Text Ethan as soon as we get inside and tell him to wait until we're..."

"They're already back," he interrupted as they waited for the elevator. "I saw them go inside."

"Look," she said as the doors finally opened. "Go talk to Carm, distract her while I take care of this."

"I was planning to let her call you," he informed her.

"Thank you," she smiled despite her racing heart and rising stress level. "Can I borrow your phone?" He nodded and handed it to her. "I need to keep my line free." She thought a moment; the building across from them wasn't as tall as the clinic and she tried to approximate what floor would let her see the shooter but not let him see her. "Let me off on the fifth floor," she asked him as she dialed the Sheriff.

"Mr. White, how can..." he said as he answered.

"With all due respect," she interjected. "Shut it!"

"Pardon me?" he replied angrily.

"Do you have spotter's on any of the nearby roofs?" she questioned as Dana wheeled her to the front of the clinic.

"No, I thought the danger had passed," he replied, his anger dissipating quickly.

"We've got at least one shooter," she groaned as Dana helped her stand at the window. "Across from the entrance."

"At least?"

"Don't you get it yet?" she prodded tensely. "She always has a backup plan." She stared at the man across the street as she tried to think of a plan, the fuzziness from her concussion not helping her reasoning. "Do you have the manpower to take all the buildings surrounding the clinic in one shot?"

"We're still at the command post," he replied. "Give me fifteen minutes."

"Fine, call me back at this number when you're ready to go," she said and hung up. "Wait fifteen minutes and then go talk to her," she told Dana when she realized he was still there. "That'll give me," she shook her head, "maybe, half an hour, before she calls."

She set two timers on her phone as Dana walked away, one for fifteen minutes, a second for thirty and then looked back out the window again; at least the shooter hadn't moved. She studied him as she ran through worst case scenarios. More than likely this plan was put in place weeks ago but what she didn't understand was why they went through with it anyway. Deanna was already behind bars, what could they possibly have to fear from her? Even if she'd threatened them, or their families, she was hardly in a position to make good on those threats. Unless, of course, there was someone else out there pulling the strings in Deanna's absence. Before Frank had been found dead, she'd have assumed it was him. In the end, he was nothing more than a loose end to her. She had little doubt that Deanna had the pictures sent to Nancy after her incarceration in hopes she would do exactly what she'd done; killed him out of revenge and tied up a loose end for her.

But, like many of Deanna's plans of late, it had backfired; Frank had left journals of all his dealings with Deanna as well. She smirked. It seemed a common theme among Deanna's puppets; they knew, both Frank and Nancy, that Deanna's reckoning would come someday and though they had each aided her for their own reasons, they knew a day would come when they'd have to answer for their crimes. Knew they'd have to justify to Carmilla why they'd done what they had.

"Just like me," she sighed as her phone's alarm went off, Dana's phone ringing as she went to shut it off.

"We're in position," Sheriff Denman informed her. "Any movement?"

"None."

She listened as she ordered his teams to move and then watched closely as the man across the way realized he wasn't alone, stood to face them and then promptly had his head blown off.

"We've got a second..." she heard a radio over the phone. "Shit, she's..."

"Deputy, report!" the Sheriff commanded.

"Sheriff, this is team eight. She fired and then stepped off the roof."

"Is she dead?" the Sheriff questioned.

"She's not moving, sir."

"Go check on her," the Sheriff ordered. "Other teams, check in."

Laura listened as one by one the teams checked in, only relaxing when the last one called in clear.

"Keep them there overnight," she suggested.

"Do you really expect another attack?"

"No," she admitted. "But we didn't expect this one," she justified. "Do you really want to take that chance?"

"No," he sighed, "I suppose not."

"If nothing else happens by morning, I think we can assume nothing else is coming," she said as she watched the rooftop across the street. "But I want the house and gym under twenty-four surveillance until Friday, am I clear?"

"We don't have those kind of resources.."

"Don't worry about it," she cut him off. "My, uh, benefactor will cover any additional costs." She looked at the timer on her phone; Carmilla would be calling her soon. "Just keep her safe for me, Sheriff, let me worry about the cost."

He didn't reply immediately as team eight checked in again; "She's dead, sir."

"Damn it," Laura sighed; two more witnesses dead.

"We'll lock down a one block perimeter around the clinic and have the house and gym locked down before she leaves," the Sheriff conceded.

"Thank you, Sheriff," she sighed. "I apologize..."

"There's no need, Detective Hollis," he interrupted. "We're both just trying to do our jobs." He chuckled. "I may have more than a few decades of experience on you, but you clearly know this particular monster better than anyone."

"Sadly, Sheriff, I think that might be true," Laura sighed and turned as she heard the elevator open behind her. "I'll call in a bit for an update."

"Are we clear?" Dana asked as he came to join her.

"Looks like it," she shook her head. "Both shooters are dead." She sighed. "Can you take me back to the roof?" He nodded. "Thanks, I could really use that smoke."

"I bet," he laughed. "Is it always like this?"

"No," she admitted. "She's getting desperate." She rubbed her face. "What I want to know is; who's pulling the strings for her?" He wheeled her over to the picnic table. "How's she doing?"

"She was eating when I left." She smiled. "So I take it that's a good sign?"

Laura nodded as her second timer went off.

"I should call her before anything else happens," she commented as she lit her smoke and then dialed Carmilla's cell. "Hey Kitten, how you feeling?" Laura asked.

"Better now that I'm hearing your voice," Laura smiled and blushed. "How are you doing?"

"Stressed," she admitted, but thought; "Might be the understatement of the century." However, Carmilla's state of mind was more important. "But that's nothing new." She sighed. "So, how are you feeling, physically?"

"My cramps aren't as bad as last time but that could have something to do with the drugs they gave me," she supplied. "The headache's down to a dull roar," she sighed. "Do I really have to spend the night here?" she whined playfully.

"I know you're not happy about it, but yes, I'm sorry, baby," she soothed. "There's a few things we need to arrange before you go back."

"It's only four more days," Carmilla pointed out. "What else could go wrong?"

"It's more that we're still trying to figure what set off your migraine and how they got it to you," Laura explained but hated herself for lying, once again. "For example, we're going to have all your meals prepared off site and the rest of your food replaced and secured. All that takes a little time and planning to put in place." She sighed. "We just don't want to take any chances."

"Who's 'we'?"

"Me and Dana."

"So, you the one who explained to him how birth control pills usually work?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "The tech is adamant he did nothing wrong, only replaced your bottled pills with new ones…"

"And completely ignored my doctor's instructions," Carmilla added.

"Look, sweetie, we did everything we could to make sure Deanna couldn't reach, or compromise, Dana's staff. Most of them have been with the show for years but he still had thorough background checks done on everyone, including your fellow fighters. I brought those records home and went through them myself, nothing, and I mean nothing, stood out."

"But enough money can lure even the most honest and trustworthy of people," Carmilla commented.

"I know," Laura sighed. "Which is, pretty much, the same thing I told Dana." She chuckled, "He's almost as angry as I am." She paused a few moments before continuing; "You going to be okay to fight on Friday?" she asked with a glance at Dana.

"You already know I won last Friday?" she questioned.

"Yes, but I don't know how you won, who you fought or who you're fighting next," Laura replied. "You've already figured out that Ethan is in contact with me, and before you ask, yes, Dana knows."

"How did you talk him into that?"

"By telling him what was going in Vancouver and what I had planned," she sighed as regarded the man across from her; she had a feeling Dana was now regretting the decision to bring Carmilla on the show. "To be able to do what I had to, I needed to know you were okay."

"So, you were worried something like this might happen?"

"And you weren't?" Laura countered.

"Honestly?" Carmilla chuckled. "No."

"Really?"

"Yes," she smiled. "I don't know how I knew, but I knew you'd be watching over me, just like you have been for awhile." There was a pause as she heard Carmilla move. "Look, Laura, you know I have a lot of questions and I'm not going to put you in the position of having to tell me, again, that you can't answer them yet."

"Really? Why?"

"Because I get it, I think," Carmilla provided. "And you can't risk Deanna finding out what you're doing. Given what's happened today, I'd say your caution is warranted. If you're able to get updates from inside the house, what's to say she isn't, right?"

"True," she replied thoughtfully, she hadn't considered that.

"So, I'm only going to ask you one question…"

"Carm…"

"Please, Pup, let me finish." Laura sighed. "Hey," she cooed, "I'm pretty sure this is one you can answer."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "The thing that has been bugging me the most since I got back is," she sighed. "I don't how better to put it except, does the girl I fell in love with really exist? I mean, I know, almost literally, nothing about you; how am I supposed to believe that the girl I fell in love with isn't a lie, a façade, too?"

"Oh Carm," she sighed as she fought back tears. "Am I scared that when you find out everything that you won't love me anymore, let alone like me?" She sniffed. "When we first met, yes, I was trying to act like the naïve little nineteen-year-old from a small town that I was presenting myself as but…"

"You changed," Carmilla finished for her.

"When I realized that I was in love with you and you felt the same," she sighed. "I knew I couldn't tell you the truth, not yet, but I knew I couldn't hope to have a future with you if I didn't start acting more like myself." She chuckled. "There was too much I was hiding from you that it got exhausting keeping up the act all the time."

"I bet," Carmilla agreed.

"Carm, I told you when you were home…"

"That just because I don't know everything about you, I still know you?"

"Exactly," Laura affirmed. "Everything I told you about my childhood, it's all true. I tried, really really tried, to be as honest with you as I could about myself. Most importantly, I do love you, so much."

"Yeah?"

"Gods, yes," Laura replied firmly and wiped her eyes with her free hand. "You're like, I don't know, the axis that my world turns on."

"I love you too, Laura," Carmilla all but whispered.

"Yeah?" Laura asked hopefully.

"Yes," Carmilla assured her. "Despite my confusion, doubt and anger, yes," she sighed. "I can't change the way I feel."

"Anger?" she questioned, the lump in her throat making it hard to speak.

"You lied to me and manipulated me, of course I'm angry," she answered gently. "And no, we're not okay, not yet," she paused as Laura sniffled. "But Pup? We will be."

"We will?"

"Maybe," Laura smiled. "Maybe not. But Laura? I'm not giving up on us, not now, not ever."

"No?"

"Not unless you tell me to."

"Not going to happen," Laura assured her.

"Good," Carmilla yawned. "I think, once you come totally clean, we should start over, sort of."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"If you promise to never lie to me again, I promise not to hold this over your head for the rest of our lives. Fair enough?"

"More than," Laura agreed. "Carm? Thank you for trying to understand, for not pushing it." She put her hand over the receiver as an ambulance went by, it's siren blaring. "So much for sealed off," she thought. "I should let you get some rest. Good luck on Friday."

"Don't need luck," Carmilla joked. "I'm so pissed off right now she doesn't stand a chance." Laura smiled. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Laura sighed. "I love you."

"I love you too baby," she smiled. "I'll see you in four days?"

"A little over ninety-six hours," Laura agreed. "Now get some rest before you fall asleep talking to me."

"Yes, dear," she replied sweetly. "Take care."

"You too, Kitten," Laura answered. "Kick ass, okay?"

"Always," Carmilla yawned. "Bye."

"Bye baby, see you soon." She disconnected the call and stared at her phone a moment before looking back to Dana and handing him back his phone. "Thank you for that."

"You want to see her, don't you?" he commented.

"I almost died today," she replied dryly as she looked off into the distance. "Three people were sent here to kill the woman I love who also happens to be in a great deal of pain." She looked back to him. "I need to see her." She shook her head. "Look, I know I've asked for a lot; talking to her, everything I've asked for her last four days, but..."

"Stop," he interjected. "No please, let me speak?" She nodded. "I'm going to tell you what I told your girlfriend; the two of you have more talent in your little fingers than most of the fighters in the house combined. I just think it would be a shame to see that talent go to waste." He rubbed his face. "I might not be able to do anything about this Deanna bitch, but I will do whatever I can to mitigate her damage." He shook his head. "Your girlfriend," he chuckled; "The pair of you really," he smiled. "How you deal with all this shit, I don't know how you can be so calm."

"It's easy," she smiled. "It's called 'faking it'."

"Faking it?" he laughed.

"Appear strong in public, breakdown in private," she supplied.

"Can I assume you won't be telling her what really happened today?" she nodded. "Then how exactly do you plan to hide the fact that you're not only hurt but can't even walk?"

"I'll have someone roll me in once she's asleep and then wait until she falls back asleep to leave," she provided. "We both need this to get through the next four days." He sat regarding her a moment. "What?" she prompted as the silence stretched.

"I, um, didn't tell you this but," he rubbed his face. "She's fighting Randa on Friday."

"You!" she laughed. "You son of a bitch!"

"Excuse me?" he replied defensively.

"She got my spot, right?" he nodded. "Then if I hadn't broken my arm I would have ended up fighting Carmilla for the finals!" she accused.

"No, actually," he smiled and chuckled. "You were going to be ranked higher than Randa and in the other bracket."

"Well good thing I broke my arm then," she joked and then explained at his quizzical look. "I was kind of out it after I broke my arm, I told Carm I was supposed to be on the show with her and that we'd have probably ended up fighting each other at some point. I told her I'd have walked out, tapped out and then told her "You want this, all I want is you'." She smiled as he chuckled. "Would have made for an anti-climatic finale, don't you think?" He nodded. "I thought you said Randa wouldn't make it past the first round?"

"Her opponents keep underestimating her," he supplied. "She's scrappy."

"Has Carmilla figured out that I fought her?"

"I haven't heard anything," he shrugged. "It wouldn't be in Randa's best interest to talk about it, you did kick her ass pretty soundly."

"I suppose," she agreed and sighed. "I just don't want her to find out from someone other than me."

"So..." he drawled. "What the fuck happened today?"

"I don't know for sure," she sighed. "Nancy said she talked to Deanna on Friday but she couldn't have, Deanna was already in jail." She lit another smoke and inhaled deeply. "Whoever she talked to called Julie and Julian in." She shook her head, she was angry Julie had slipped past her. But then she'd hired her at Frank's suggestion. "They picked her up from the airport, probably stashed her nearby and then dropped her and the van off in front of the hospital sometime yesterday." She sighed and looked off to the distance again. "I doubt Deanna expected her to go through with it."

"And the shooters?"

"I'm guessing they were the real plan," she admitted. "What I'd like to know is why Julie killed her brother and then herself. What does Deanna have on them?" She shook her head. "I don't know."

"Is it over or should I expect something else to go wrong?"

"I'm hoping it's over but I can't promise you that," she replied honestly. "We'll have the house and gym under surveillance before she returns." She shook her head. "Unfortunately it's the best we can do." She looked back to him. "Dana? Thank you for everything you've done for her, for us."

"I think we can safely file this under 'extenuating circumstances, don't you?" He regarded her a moment. "You should get some rest if you want to convince her you're not hurt."

"You're probably right," she conceded. "Could you take me back to my room?"

"So," he started slowly once they were in the elevator. "Do you think you'll be okay to fight on the finale?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "I should be okay to fight with only a couple months of training. You think Carm's going to beat her?"

"Given how's she's done in her first two fights?" She nodded. "I'd be impressed if she makes it past the minute mark."

"Carm's been that dominant?" she questioned.

"Her first fight was quick, the second made it about a minute into the second," he supplied. "She looked like she was having fun." He smiled as they entered her room and found LaFontaine playing with their cell phone on the bed. "She isn't what I'd call the most technical fighter, but..." he shook his head. "You can see it, this moment when she's like; "Oh, okay, that's how I win," and then she does it." He smiled. "She's a pleasure to watch."

"She is at that," Laura laughed and accepted a hug from LaFontaine. "I'll touch base with you tomorrow afternoon?" Dana nodded. "Thank you, Dana, for everything."

"Tell you what," he stood with his arms across his chest. "Rumor has it half the cast is planning to train in Vancouver." He smiled. "If she makes her fight on Friday as exciting as her first two, we'll have the finale in Vancouver."

"You're a shrewd man, Mr. White," she chuckled as LaFontaine helped her get back into bed.

"That doesn't sound like a compliment," he joked.

"Your events in Vancouver haven't done all that well," she commented as she took her food from LaFontaine. "With everything going on, in and out of the cage," she smiled. "You might just sell out Roger's Arena."

"That's the plan."

"Hardly seems fair to her opponent," she commented as she took her Nuggets and fries from her bag. "Something Carm, I'm sure, will also have a problem with." She tapped her chin with a finger. "Tell you what, convince her opponent and I'll handle all the security details as well as finding accommodations for all the fighters and your staff."

"That won't be..."

"You having the finale in Vegas would take a lot of the pressure off her," she smiled. "It's the least I can do."

"Fine," he conceded. "We'll start looking into it this week." He smiled. "If I think she needs motivation I'll mention it," he winked.

"Thank you, Dana."

"You're welcome, Laura," he shrugged. "Sounds like it's about time you two caught a break."

"You're not wrong there," LaFontaine joked before he left. "How you feeling L?"

"I'm okay," she replied as she started eating. "Do me a favor, though?" LaFontaine nodded. "Don't ever call me 'L' in front of Carm?"

"Right, sorry," they shook their head. "Perry mentioned you're spending the night?" Laura nodded, her mouth full. "I brought you something to sleep in and this," they said as they took a small brown envelope from their pocket. "Take the red ones now, they'll help with the clotting, take the rest before you go to sleep, they'll knock you out for at least eight hours." They smiled. "On the upside you should be walking again by tomorrow afternoon."

"Thanks, Laf," she pulled them into a hug. "For the food and for helping Perry and..."

"And being generally awesome?"

"Yeah, that too," she smiled and took a sip of her shake.

"Do you want to talk about it?" LaFontaine suggested as they sat on the bed.

"No."

"Laura, c'mon, someone tried to kill you this morning," they prodded.

"I don't want to talk about it," Laura deflected and went back to her food.

"Laura, c'mon, who am I gonna to tell?" they asked, the hurt clear on their face. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you Laf," she reached over and squeezed their wrist. "It's just," she took a shaky breath, "I'm barely holding it together right now and the only reason I'm even holding it together this well is because I haven't put much thought into what I'm feeling." She shook her head and wiped away a tear. "I'm going to be seeing Carm in a little while and if I break down now, I won't be able to put myself back together in time." She shook her head. "She can't know what happened today and she definitely can't know that I'm hurt." She shook her head. "I just," she sighed, "I thought I was done lying to her, you know?"

"I know, Laura," they took her hand. "But it's almost over, right?"

"Just four more days," Laura sighed. "You know what? I'm going to take a nap, ask someone to wake me in a few hours?" LaFontaine nodded and gathered her food wrappers for her. "Laf?" She waited until they turned at the door. "Thanks."

Perry was right, she hated asking for help. Sure, she'd convinced some of her friends to help, but it didn't mean she liked putting their lives in danger. She curled up her side, trying to make herself as comfortable as possible. It wasn't an easy task; everything really did hurt. She finally turned on her back and stared at the ceiling, tears slowly making their way down her face. She was starting to think putting Deanna away for the rest of her life wouldn't be enough. She was already, for all intents and purposes, hog tied and yet she was still responsible for three deaths in one day. Perhaps not the deaths she was expecting, but she got awfully close, and that's what scared her.

* * *

A nurse brought Laura into Carmilla's room a few hours later, wheeled over to the bed and then helped her stand next to it. The nurse had already switched Carmilla's saline for the one containing LaFontaine's special brew and then explained how to turn it on before she left. She stood by the bed, watching Carmilla as she feigned sleep. She smiled; she'd spent too many mornings making sure Carmilla was really asleep so she could get up and start making plans without her knowledge to not know the difference. She put her backpack on the bed, put her left hand in her pocket to hide the mark from the IV and then reached out with her right to move some hair from her face.

"Laura?" Carmilla stammered as she opened her eyes.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Laura answered, hiding her smile as she leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Are you really here?" she asked as she sat up and drew her into her arms, Laura gritting her teeth to stifle her groan.

"No," Laura sighed, "you're dreaming."

"You shouldn't be here," Carmilla commented as she leaned back to see her face. "Why are you here? I mean, here, as in the hospital?"

"You already figured out I was in Vegas?" Laura shook her head when she nodded. She took half a step with her good leg out of her arms and reached into her backpack. "I just wanted you to have this," she supplied as she handed her a large stuffed black panther, "to keep you company tonight," she smiled as Carmilla took it from her. "And until Friday."

Carmilla hugged the toy her chest, smiled and then put it aside to hold Laura again.

"And how do I explain where it came from?" Carmilla questioned.

"You don't know," Laura replied and prompted her to meet her eyes. "If you hadn't woken up you would have woken up with it and not have known where it came from." She smiled. "Dana was going to tell you I had it couriered down." She kissed her softly. "If you suspected I was here, why didn't you ask?"

"I didn't want you to have to lie to me."

"And I promise I never will again." "In another four days," she thought as she kissed her forehead. "Well, maybe not never."

"No?"

"Well, say you really like a piece of clothing and you ask me if it looks good when it doesn't," she speculated. "I might not tell you the whole truth."

"I'd rather you did," Carmilla countered. "But I suppose complete and utter honesty isn't always the best policy either." She hugged Laura close again and made her wince. "I wish you could go back to the house with me."

"Me too," Laura laughed, "But I should go," she leaned back and kissed her again. "You weren't supposed to see me."

"I'm glad I did."

"Yeah," Laura kissed her softly, lingering until the kiss deepened. "So am I," she sighed. "C'mon, lay back down," she prompted as she pushed back to the bed. "I'll stay until you fall back asleep?" she offered, smiling when Carmilla nodded, pulled her hand to her lips and kissed it. She sat on the edge of Carmilla's bed, withdrew her hand from Carmilla's grasp and used it to run it through her girlfriend's hair.

When she was sure Carmilla had drifted off she reached over, turned on her IV and then laid down on top of her and sighed when she heard the door open. She sat up and looked over to the nurse; "Five more minutes?" The nurse smiled and nodded. She looked back to Carmilla as tears started to fall. "I could have lost you today," she thought. "You could have lost me and I'd have never gotten the chance to prove how much I love you." She wiped away her tears. "We're going to be okay, we have to be."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my days off have changed and so will my regular posting days. Hopefully it'll be every couple of weeks on Monday or Tuesday. This chapter was tough to write and but I'm guessing the length will make up for the delay. Bonus points to anyone who caught the 'Wynonna Earp' reference. Just a little wick to the Carmilla movie and who they announced will be joining the cast.
> 
> One last thing, if you happened to only skim the repeated parts, you might want to go back and read em. There's a little insight into what Laura was going through at the time. Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. With any luck the next one will be easier to write as I've been planning it for a long time. Until next time my beautiful readers...


	24. Mitigated Violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful readers! This chapter ended up being way harder to write than I expected, hence the delay. Normally I don't include "trigger warnings" as, if you've read this far, you should know what to expect. However, this chapter deals with flashbacks and I thought I warning would be a good idea. Italics indicate dream sequences and flashbacks.

Now  
(Last Day)

_Carmilla made her way down the hall towards Deanna's den, her heart pounding and a light sweat covering every inch of her body. "For Christ's sake, Karnstein, get it together!" she admonished herself. Deanna was away on one her many trips and wasn't expected home until the next day, she had no reason to fear that room. But she did. When it belonged to her father she'd loved it. She smiled despite her racing her heart as she pushed the door open; at least Deanna's trip meant she had a couple of weeks of peace and quiet._

_She retrieved the can of furniture polish and a rag from a cabinet near the door and then took a deep breath as she looked around; the room was musty from being closed for two weeks. Carmilla walked over to the window, threw the drapes open and then opened the window wide. She took a deep breath of fresh air as she let the sun warm her face for a moment, sighed and then went to work._

_It was stupid really, Deanna had a whole staff of housekeepers to clean the estate but she insisted that Carmilla clean her office. Yet another of her more subtle punishments. She'd insisted it was because she didn't trust her staff in her office but Carmilla knew better. There was nothing there to find, she'd looked every chance she'd had._

_Once she'd finished her dusting she sat in Deanna's big imposing leather chair behind her desk, leaned back and put her feet up on the desk. She looked around, checking for anything she'd missed when she noticed a draft disturbing the dust in the sunbeam in front of the bookcase directly behind the desk._

_"What the..." she mumbled as she got up to investigate._

_She ran her fingers along the edge of the bookcase, a faint click sounding when she pushed on it lightly. She pushed a little harder and the entire section slipped back behind the next one over to reveal a dark narrow staircase. Carmilla ran her hand along the wall trying to find a light switch when the lights nearest her flickered on._

Carmilla groaned as she woke, rubbed her eyes and then looked at her watch; it was far too early to be awake but too late to try to go back to sleep.

"You okay?" a sleepy Bec mumbled.

"I'm fine," she sighed as she sat up and then turned to her. "Tired of trying to sleep."

"You didn't wake me," Bec commented.

"Nah," she shook her head, "it wasn't a bad dream kind of night. More like a, couldn't shut my brain off long enough to fall and was sleeping so light I don't remember waking up but I know I must have slept because the time went by too quickly for me not to have kind of night." She smiled as Bec chuckled. "I'm just stressed."

"No doubt."

"I'm going to take a long hot shower," she told her as she pulled her bag from under the bed and started taking out everything she needed. "Maybe head to the gym early and grab a power nap before the fight." She leaned over and kissed Bec's temple. "Go crawl into your own bed and go back to sleep. I want to take down my pictures and pack." Bec nodded, sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Bec?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," she smiled. "Not just for last night but for everything. I don't know how I would have made it through the last two weeks without you." Bec went to hug her but she stopped her. "No, trust me, I smell like an unwashed toddler."

"Unwashed toddler?" Bec laughed.

"It's a very specific smell," she chuckled. "I woke up covered in sweat a few times last night." She sighed. "I was really hoping my next shower would be with Laura," she shrugged. "But I can barely stand the smell of myself."

"Well I'm used to unwashed toddlers," Bec joked and hugged her anyway. "But you're right," she backed away quickly, "you do stink."

"I did warn you," she laughed as she grabbed her things and headed to the bathroom.

She placed her things on the counter and went to use the toilet, sighing in relief when she removed her tampon and found it barely stained. "At least that's one less thing to worry about," she thought as she flushed the toilet and finished taking her clothes off as she walked back to counter. She took a fresh pair of underwear from her things, added a pad for after her shower and then got into the shower.

Carmilla lifted her face to the hot water closing her eyes and again seeing the dark, narrow, staircase from her dream. She sighed and shook her head; she didn't remember finding a secret doorway in Deanna's office. Then again, there was a lot she didn't remember from the seven years she was at the mercy of Deanna's whims. When she was going through her rehab for prescription pain medications her therapist had suggested she had blocked painful memories. It wasn't uncommon, after all, for victims of child abuse and while she felt that accounted for some of the gaps in her memory, she'd realised there was a far simpler explanation when she was helping Brody recover from the concussion Danny had given him.

Brody couldn't remember the days prior to the accident and for weeks had trouble remembering anything. She sighed again as she started washing herself; there was one beating, one really bad one, the summer before she and Will had plotted their escape and she never could figure out what had provoked it. Of course it wasn't the first time she'd woken days after a beating with only a vague idea of why, but it was the only one that had her bedridden for months.

"Was it a coincidence that Will confronted me the second I was feeling better?" she wondered aloud. Had they, Will and Deanna, planned the whole escape? But why? "So that she could kill me in self-defence?" she reasoned. It was the only thing that made sense. Was her dream more than just a dream? What had she found down that stairwell? What deep dark secret had she unearthed? What had scared Deanna so badly that she'd almost killed her?

"No," she thought, "I can't do this, not now."

Carmilla was already having a hard enough time focusing, if she continued down this path she'd be a complete mess come fight time. She turned and as she let the hot water massage the tension from her neck she envisioned something different. Something that comforted her; Laura's arms around her while they showered. She closed her eyes as the image formed, her heart, which she hadn't realized had started to race, slowing as she could almost feel Laura's arms around her.

She sighed as she heard the door open.

"Hey Karnstein, your breakfast is here!" Angela called.

"Thanks," she replied, "I'll be out in few minutes, keep an eye on it for me?"

"Sure," Angela answered, a quiet chuckle under her reply.

"Yes," she thought, "it's stupid isn't it? Having someone guard my food." But she'd never gotten an explanation behind what had triggered her migraine. Not that it mattered, she felt fine now. Aside from feeling far from rested from a bad night's sleep, she felt better than she had all week. She smiled; another of Deanna's attempts to sabotage her had failed.

She finished up in the shower, toweled off, dressed, gathered her things and then headed back into the bedroom where she found Angela sitting on her bed with a small box in front of her. She dropped her things at the end of her bed and then sat between Angela and the box she discovered held her breakfast.

"Thanks Ang," she said as she opened the box to find a bowl with granola, a single serving of her favorite yogurt, a banana, green apple and two travel mugs, one labeled 'coffee' and the other 'shake', both in Laura's handwriting. She took the coffee first, took a sip to test its warmth and then took a longer swallow when she tasted the Bailey's it was spiked with.

"Good coffee?" Angela teased.

"Take a sniff," she suggested as she held the mug out to her.

"Is that?"

"Bailey's," she confirmed and took another gulp.

"Should you really be drinking the morning of your fight?"

"I'd hardly call this 'drinking'," she laughed. "There's just enough to taste and settle my nerves." She shook her head. "I've wondered a lot the last couple of weeks how well I know Laura but this," she indicated her cup, "proves how well she knows me." She chuckled; that's why Perry had visited the day before, she was assessing where her head was at.

"What?" Angela prompted.

"Nothing," she dismissed as she put her coffee aside to mix her yoghurt and granola. "Can you do me a favour?" Angela nodded. "See if you can track down Ethan and ask him how early I can head to the gym?"

"Sure, but, uh, why?"

"Cause I need a nap and that isn't going to happen here," she joked. "No, really, I slept like shit last night and I just want to work out for a bit and grab a power nap before I have to get ready."

"Fair enough," she smiled and gave her a one armed hug. "Be right back."

"Thanks Ang," Carmilla replied warmly. She might be closer to Bec but she cared for Angela almost as much.

She took her journal from her bag and then turned to contemplate the pictures on her wall as she ate. Each face reminded her why she was fighting. She put her bowl aside and started taking down her pictures, studying each one as she took the sticky putty off of the backs. She studied each one for only a few moments before putting them inside her journal, taking a bit of her cereal and then moving on to the next until she reached the one of her, Laura and Danny.

Would she ever stop feeling guilty for Danny's fate? Yes, it was Deanna's fault, but she wouldn't have been a target if she hadn't come into Carmilla's life. Then again, she might have just as easily have been targeted because of Laura if Deanna had any idea who Laura really was. Either way it didn't matter, Danny hadn't deserved what happened to her.

"No," she thought, "Danny deserved to be here." She chuckled. "Well maybe not this season, but the UFC at any rate." Danny would never have been able to fight at Strawweight, she could fight at Flyweight sure, but her natural weight class was Bantamweight. She was simply too tall, too broad shouldered to safely cut that much weight. Even one-twenty-five was tough for her. "Which," she thought, "was why I didn't put too much thought into why she looked so crappy at weigh-ins." She sighed. "It's not fair," she thought as she gazed at Danny's face. "You should be here, not me. You wanted this more than anything," she shook her head. "I just wanted to expose my stepmother."

But that wasn't true anymore. She loved fighting almost as much as she loved training. Until she'd met Laura it was one of the few times she felt at peace. She could train for hours and not have a single coherent thought beyond what she wanted to work on next. But fighting? Maybe she loved fighting more. However long she spent in the cage was the product of all her hard work. More importantly was the satisfaction of being allowed to fight back.

She put the picture into her journal along with the others and went back to work on taking down the rest, only pausing again as she took down the last; a picture of her, Brody, Bob and Will. Carmilla had spent most of her life thinking she was protecting her little brother only to find out he never wanted, or needed, her protection. No, her little shit of a brother had been working against her for God only knew how long. But still she couldn't help feeling like she'd failed him; he was still her little brother after all. She should have seen the signs. Should've known something wasn't right with him but she'd been too caught up in plotting against Deanna to notice. Maybe someday she'd forgive him. Maybe someday she'd even mourn him. Truth was, as much as she hated the things he'd done, he was, in the end, still her little brother and she loved him.

She sighed deeply as she put the picture away; this was another path she couldn't afford to go down. She could already feel the all too familiar rage at her stepmother's misdeeds curling like a snake in the pit of her stomach, which granted, had aided in some truly spectacular finishes early in her career, but she no longer needed it to win.

"You okay?" Angela asked when she returned.

"As okay as I ever am, I suppose," she replied with a shrug and a sigh.

"That's reassuring," Angela teased.

"It wasn't meant to be," Carmilla shrugged, put her empty bowl aside and went back to her coffee. "It is what it is," she added as she went about packing her things and making sure she had everything she needed for her fight. "Ethan say when we can leave?"

"Pretty much as soon as you're ready to go," she informed her. "He said he just needed to make a couple of calls first."

"Good," she smiled. "I'm more than ready to say goodbye to this place," she joked. She zipped up both her bags, making sure her journal and the envelope with the gifts for her cast mates were in her gym bag. "I've got one more thing to do before I go though."

"What are you up to?" Angela prodded.

"Nothing," she replied innocently as she laid her empty coffee mug on top of her bag and went to tuck her protein shake under her arm before bending over to grab her bags.

"Here," Angela stood up and grabbed her gym bag for her. "C'mon, whatever plan you have won't be ruined by me helping you downstairs with your stuff."

"Thanks," she chuckled. "I'm not used to asking for help, let alone having people offer it."

Angela didn't have an answer for that and followed her downstairs to the front door where Ethan was waiting for her without replying.

"You just about ready to go?" Ethan asked by way of greeting as he took her bags.

"I need," she looked around the house, smiled when she spotted what she needed and then looked back to him; "fifteen minutes?" He nodded. "Thanks." She took a sip of her protein shake and smiled again as she walked over to Felice; Laura had spiked her shake too. Again, not enough to make her tipsy, but just enough to taste it and calm her nerves. "Hey, Felice, can I talk to you a minute?" She looked around; although there were few people around as it was still early, she still wanted privacy. "Maybe we can go outside?"

Felice regarded her a moment, nodded and then motioned to the patio.

"What's up Karnstein?"

"Would I be correct in assuming most of your team wants me to win today?" she asked and then took a sip of her drink.

"Maybe," Felice tilted her head. "Why?"

"Well, I was hoping you might be able to talk your teammates into doing me a favour."

"I might not like Randa, but I won't sabotage a teammate," Felice replied neutrally.

"I'm not asking you to," she chuckled. "Not exactly anyway."

"So what are you asking?"

"Nothing big," she consoled. "I just want you to cheer her on, at the start and for the first round."

"And what does that accomplish?"

"I'm going to do to her what she did to you," Carmilla supplied.

"Get lucky and catch her off guard?" Felice mocked.

"No," she smiled. "I'm going to use her overconfidence against her."

"And you think us cheering her on will do it?" she asked skeptically.

"It'll make her think her team thinks she can beat me," she shrugged. "And if doesn't, maybe it'll throw her off."

"What makes you think I won't just go tell her what you're planning?" Felice pointed out.

"Then she'll think I need you to help me beat her," she took another sip of her shake. "Either way, it works to my advantage."

Felice shook her head and walked a few feet away.

"You think you could've beat me?" Felice asked, wrong footing her slightly.

"I think I'm happy that I'm fighting her and not you," she answered. "Look," she continued when she could see that Felice wasn't accepting that answer; "fight logic would have people think that if I can beat Randa, and she beat you, that I should be able to beat you." She shrugged. "If I had three months to prepare to fight you, maybe." She shook her head. "She did get lucky against you and one could argue, and some have, that she didn't beat Tecia," she smiled. "Not to sound egotistical but I don't think anyone could say the same of my two fights."

"True," she conceded. "But some could say, and some have, that you finished your fights so quick because you don't have enough gas in the tank to fight longer."

"'They' are welcome to think that," she joked. "And 'they'd' be wrong." She smiled. "I intend to prove that which," she chuckled, "is why I need your help." She finished her shake. "I want an epic brawl and it'll only happen if she thinks she has a chance to beat me and fights back."

"So what makes you think you can do what Tecia and I, two fighters with far more experience than you, couldn't?"

She considered a moment before she answered; "You and Tecia walked in thinking you'd already won." She shrugged. "The difference is I know how I'm going to win."

* * *

 

Carmilla spent the next few hours enjoying having the gym to herself. She spent almost an hour on the treadmill before her thoughts finally settled and then made her way over to the heavy bag to practice her combinations. She hadn't bothered putting on her gloves or even her wrist wraps. No, she was just going through the motions and not really hitting the bag except with her kicks.

Once Ethan brought her lunch she made her way to a corner of the gym and finished that last of her letters. She'd left the most difficult to write for last. Although she knew what she wanted to say to her two friends, Bec and Angela, it was Randa's letter that really had her stymied.

She wrote Bec's letter first, and then Angela's; they were almost identical though Bec's was longer. She sat contemplating what she wanted to say to Randa before setting pen to paper.

"Hey Randa, let me start by saying I'm sorry. I won't insult your intelligence and tell you that, deep down, I actually like you. I don't. And it has nothing to do with your fight with Laura, which, by the way, I really didn't know about but it's none of your business why she didn't tell me." She sighed and looked to the distance a moment before continuing. "I'm sorry because you might think this is personal, it's not. Sure, maybe I want to beat you as badly as I'm hoping to because Laura did, but I just want to win. But that isn't enough, I need to win epically. I need to make people care about me and my story because this is so much bigger than you, this show or even the UFC. This is a battle I've been waging since I was three years old and I can't, won't, let you, or anyone else, stand in my way. As cold it might sound, you're a stepping stone, nothing more.

For what it's worth, I hope Laura still gives you your rematch. Not because you deserve it, but because she does. She put her own career on hold to further mine and if she hadn't broken her arm, she'd have been here, not you. She earned a spot on this show that you were given because she got hurt. Laura deserves the chance to prove she should've been here.

Good luck today, Randa, you're going to need it. And enjoy the gift," she smiled, "use it to bring your 'A' game to the finale otherwise it'll be a quick fight. A lot quicker than I'm planning for today."

She chuckled as she folded the letter, wrote her cheque and then put both in their envelope; she wanted Laura to take the fight just so she could see her in action. Sure, she planned to watch Laura's fight with Randa the first chance she got but it wasn't the same as seeing her fight in person.

Carmilla gathered her things, went to the bathroom and then headed to the locker room to try to take a nap. She slipped a sweatshirt and sweatpants over her shorts and t-shirt and stretched out on one of the couches. She pulled the hood of her sweatshirt over her head and then down over eyes, sighed and closed her eyes, the long, dark, narrow stairwell again plaguing her. She rubbed her eyes until the image blurred and tried to replace it with a more comforting memory, that of holding Laura in the bath.

When that didn't work she tried a trick her therapist had taught her; count backwards from three hundred by subtracting three. The trick was to concentrate on the math and starting over whenever she lost track. She'd restarted three times and reached the hundreds before she finally drifted off.

_She made her way down the staircase, her heart pounding so loudly she couldn't hear anything else as she pushed open the door at the bottom. She stepped out into a hall, the lights coming on all at once and blinding her momentarily before she could make anything out. Six doors lined the hallway; four on each side and one at either end. She made her way to the first door and cracked it open._

"Carm?" She felt someone shaking her awake. "Hey, Carm!"

"What?" she mumbled and rubbed her eyes.

"You've got an hour to get ready," Bec informed her as she sat up.

She looked around, saw the official waiting to tape her hands and then stood up and stretched. "Hey, I need to go to the bathroom and get changed; can I have," she looked at her watch, "ten minutes?"

Once he'd nodded she grabbed her gym bag and headed to the bathroom to use the facilities, freshen up and change. She used the toilet, splashed some water on her face after washing her hands and then slipped out of her sweats, t-shirt and shorts. She wet a few paper towels, added soap, ran it under arms, and then quickly over the rest of her body.

She took her fight clothes, this time a UFC sports bra and short shorts, from her bag and got dressed. Laura had made her opinion known by sending her the bikini for the weigh-ins; it was time to stop hiding. Laura might have been guiding her life from the wings for a longer time than she knew, but in the time she had known her, she'd never once steered her wrong. While she had no intention of following her lead blindly once she was out of the house, she did agree, somewhat begrudgingly, that it was time to stop hiding.

Carmilla regarded her reflection; she was proud of the transformation her body had gone through after her last three years of training despite the scars that covered most of her back. Although she'd never been fat, despite Deanna's assertions to the contrary, now she was lean and mean. Her muscles were toned and clearly defined, hell; she even had a six-pack now, if it weren't for her scars she'd walk around half-naked most of the time. And it wasn't because she was ashamed of her scars, not anymore, she was afraid of the questions that seeing them ultimately led to.

She slipped back into her sweatshirt and pants and then took out her mouthpiece to slip in her pocket. Before she did however, she took a moment to open it and inspect it to see if Laura had left her another surprise. She'd wondered why Laura had insisted on her taking a mouth guard for each of her fights but smiled when she opened it to find a note written in the lid of the case; "You made it this far, Kitten, you got this! I love you, good luck, L." Carmilla inspected the mouth guard itself and found that, like the one she used for her second fight, Laura had again scratched a message into it; "C U soon! I heart you!" with the heart again being an actual heart.

"Yo Karnstein!" her coach, Gilbert shouted through the door. "Get a move on!"

"Coming!" she replied as she took off her Promise Ring, threaded it onto her necklace and then put it around her neck. She quickly gathered her things, headed back to the locker room and then took a seat in front of the waiting official.

"You should eat something," Bec prodded and offered her a protein bar.

"Thanks," she replied once Bec had opened it for her so she could eat it with her free hand while the official taped the other.

The next half hour passed before she knew it. Her hands were taped, she warmed up and then ushered all but Bec from the room.

"You okay?" Bec asked as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

"No," she sighed, "I'm wound tighter than a fucking spring." She shook her head. "I've been holding back for so long I'm actually a little scared of what I might do," she sighed. "Last time I let loose?" She looked at Bec. "She was in the hospital for three weeks."

"I saw that fight," Bec provided, her surprise clear when Bec asked. "What? You think you're the only one who did research?" she teased and put her hand on Carmilla's shoulder. "You're not the same fighter anymore."

"Because I've learned to mitigate the violence," she provided with a shrug.

"Laura teach you that?"

"No," she looked back at the mirror. "My stepmother," she provided.

"Time!" someone called.

"Shit," she hissed.

"You can do this Carm," Bec assured her.

"Oh," she sighed, "I know," she affirmed. "I'm just afraid of how I'm going to do it." She turned to study her reflection one last time. "You can do this!" she thought. "Just let it go."

She nodded, kissed her Promise Ring and then took off her necklace and put it around Bec's neck only to be pulled into a hug by the Aussie.

"I'd have never gotten this far without you," she whispered.

"Sure you would've," Bec dismissed. "You're stronger than you know," she smiled. "It's time you start believing that too."

"I'm trying," she offered as she followed Bec from the room and then went to wait by the gym's doors. She took off her sweatshirt and hung it around her shoulders with the hood covering her head.

"Go!" a PA prodded.

She pushed open the doors harder than she'd planned, the anger that she'd been trying to quell most of the day just below the surface. She jogged over to the side of the cage, took her mouth guard from her pocket, slipped it her mouth and then turned to the official to go through the usual pre-fight routine.

The sounds of the gym dulled, her teammates and friends cheering nothing but a distant buzz as she entered the cage. She sidestepped a lap around the cage, her back to the crowd until she reached Randa's corner, turned towards her, smiled, and then turned back around to complete her lap.

She tried to pay attention to Dana's instructions but she'd finally found the focus that had been alluding her most of the week and even her coach's last minute instructions were lost on her.

Finally the bell rang and she ran to the middle of the cage, shaking her head when Randa held up her hand to tap gloves. They circled each other in the middle of the cage, neither willing to be the first to strike.

After almost of a minute Carmilla dropped her hands and shook out her arms. "Thought you were going to kick my ass?" she taunted and then hit her two stiff left jabs, both only hard enough to get her attention. She shook her head and laughed. "No wonder Laura kicked your ass!" She taunted, but Randa still wasn't taking the bait. She feinted another left jab and then nailed the inside of Randa's right thigh full force with a kick. She smiled; she had her attention now. She dropped her hands again; "C'mon," she offered as she tapped her own chin; "I'll let you have a free one." She chuckled; she was getting under her skin but she still wasn't biting. "You'll only get one though," she joked and shuffled her feet like a boxer.

Randa bit down on her mouth guard and came straight at her, wild punches coming within inches of her face and forcing Carmilla to retreat into the fence. Randa threw one more punch, ducked down and then wrapped her arms just under her rear end and starting lifting with everything she had.

Carmilla would've laughed if she weren't so busy making sure Randa didn't complete her takedown. She'd let her, eventually, but she was too easy a target not to try to tire her out some. She threw a series of hammerfists to the side of Randa's head and then switched to punching her in the ribs. It only took three punches to make her knees buckle and as they did, Carmilla lept up, wrapped her legs around Randa just under her armpits and pulled them both to the ground.

She could hear her corner shouting various suggestions but none of them knew her plan; she wanted a comeback win. Letting Randa think she won the first round was step one. Technically, Randa had the upper hand, but Carmilla had her effectively stifled. Randa couldn't posture up and hit her, nor could she escape Carmilla's legs. She looked up and noticed the referee eyeing them; if Randa didn't make some progress soon they'd be stood up. Carmilla didn't want that. No, when she stood again it'd be on her terms so she loosened her legs just enough that Randa was able to move up, tightening her legs again when they reached Randa's waist. Carmilla wrapped her arms under Randa's armpits, still keeping her from doing any damage but tiring Randa out nonetheless.

"Thought you weren't scared of me?" she taunted, knowing Randa had heard her when she started struggling to get free in earnest.

"One minute!" her corner yelled.

"Playtime's over," she thought as, in one fluid movement, she put her right foot on the ground, pushed off and then flipped them. She fought to free her arms from beneath her a moment, got free and postured up before Randa could stop her. The ten second warning sounded as she hit her twice in the face, again not hard enough to do any real damage, but more than enough to piss her off.

She smiled as the bell rang, freed her legs and then sprung to her feet from her knees. She stepped over her slightly stunned opponent and then offered her a hand up.

"No?" she laughed. "Whatever," she waved her off and walked over to her corner.

"Want to tell me what the fuck that was?" Gilbert questioned as he offered her a bottle of water.

"Fun?" she offered and then took a sip of water, rinsed her mouth with it and then spit it out before taking a full swallow. "What?" she laughed at the look on his face.

"You're not even a little tired, are you?" he questioned.

"Maybe," she shrugged. "But that probably has more to do with not sleeping great last night," she amended.

"Smart ass," he joked. "You've got a plan?"

"Usually."

"Well," he said as he stood up straight, the referee motioning them out, "get to it then."

Carmilla hopped in place as she waited for the round to start; if Randa was as tired as she looked, it would just annoy her further. She jogged to middle of the cage when the referee gave the go ahead and then, without preamble, started lighting her up; two stiff left jabs to the face, followed by a hard right to her ribs and ending with a right kick to the outside of her left leg.

She backed off and let Randa get her wits before going after again. This time she hit her with a left jab, a right hook to the jaw, a left hook to her ribs and a kick to the outside of her left leg to end it. She took a step back, and then went after her again, each combo starting with a left jab, a few different strikes in between, and then another kick to her legs. Only the first jab and the last leg kick were thrown full force, the rest in between, while each hitting their intended target, were meant to tire her out, not hurt. Every time Carmilla backed off to reset, she could see the mounting frustration in Randa's every move.

"C'mon!" she jeered as started yet another combination. "Fight back already!" she hissed as she pushed her into the cage.

"One minute!" he corner yelled as Randa reached up, wrapped her hands behind Carmilla's neck and threw her into the cage as their foreheads collided.

"Fuck!" she thought as blood started to drip into her left eye. "You're going to pay for that!" she vowed to herself as she starting hitting Randa in the ribs with everything she had finally forcing her to break away as the ten second warning sounded and landed a hard elbow to Carmilla's face.

Carmilla saw nothing as the pain of her nose breaking blinded her.

" _Oh, you motherfucking dried up saggy titted wench of a woman masquerading as a fucking sadistic, narcissistic piece of shit!" She screeched as Deanna just regarded her calmly. "You used me! Whored me out like a piece of meat!"_

_"You liked it!" Deanna taunted as she hit her in the face._

The bell sounded as she reached up, felt the bump in her nose and then clicked it back into placed with a loud, painful, pop.

_She opened the first door and found a replica of a shabby hotel room._

She shook her head; "What the actual fuck?" she thought as she walked back to her corner, her heart racing faster than the fight should have warranted thus far.

"You okay?" Gilbert rushed out. She nodded, unsure she could trust her voice.

"I'll be the judge of that," said an unfamiliar man as he knelt in front of her. "How many fingers?"

"Two," she replied, forcing herself not to sigh in relief she hadn't stuttered, her heart still racing as he began prodding her nose and she closed her eyes in pain.

_The second room she recognized; an exact duplicate of her bedroom upstairs, only with the addition of a variety of medical equipment in one corner._

"Get some Vaseline on that cut," he instructed. "She's fine to continue."

Gilbert offered her the water as he walked away and then bent in close to talk to her; "You okay?"

"F... fine," she stammered. "Damn it," she thought and gathered herself before she spoke again. "Only need thirty seconds."

He leaned back and studied her eyes.

"What's going on?" he questioned.

She shook her head and stood; she needed to end this quickly. She needed to end it before whatever was happening to her got worse. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

_The third room she knew immediately and backed away, a hand over her mouth as she fought the urge to vomit, the smell of almost a decade of dried blood overwhelming her._

As soon as the bell rang Carmilla sprinted across the cage, lept into the air and struck Randa in the face with a flying knee. Carmilla landed on the same knee beside her and turned to strike her again.

" _Carmilla, stop!"_

_She turned to the voice._

_"What the fuck are you doing here?" she accused; she hadn't seen Doctor Winchester in more than six months._

_"Saving you from a life sentence!" she countered._

_"It's self-defence!" Carmilla pointed out as she looked back to Deanna's battered face and considered how best to end it._

_"You're not the one with the stab wound!"_

_"She did that herself!" Carmilla protested._

_"And I believe you," she felt a hand on her shoulder and shrugged it off. "But most won't."_

_"So what do I do?" she asked in defeat._

_"You get your brother and run," Doctor Winchester reasoned and helped her stand. "Take this," she handed her a roll of money. "And this," she added as she handed her a cell phone. "Call her, and yourselves, an ambulance the first payphone you find." She looked down at Deanna. "I'll keep her alive until the ambulance gets here. Now, go!"_

"Karnstein, stop!" the referee commanded with a hand her shoulder. "It's over, you won."

Carmilla looked back at Randa as her coaches and the medics rushed to her side. She fell back onto her behind, took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

_She entered the fourth room; on every wall, and strung across the room on strings, were pictures, hundreds of them._

Carmilla's heart sped up again as she stood, looked around frantically, spotted the open cage door and then pushed her way past everyone between her and it and bolted for the gym door the moment she got to the bottom the stairs.

_She looked at the pictures closest to the door; it was of her. Naked. With someone she'd never met. She looked eleven._

She ran for one of the side exits.

_Carmilla made her way slowly around the room, the urge to vomit returning as she realized what she was seeing; herself with dozens, maybe more, people. Men, women, all ages._

She threw the doors wide open and ran until her legs gave out about ten feet from the gym, fell to her knees and started throwing up.

_Carmilla turned at a noise behind her; "Will, what are you doing here?"_

_"I followed you," he whispered. "She's back!"_

_"Where's my darling girl at?" Deanna called sweetly._

_"Stay here!" She hissed at Will. "Whatever you do, don't look at the pictures and don't leave until we're gone!"_

Carmilla fell to the grass on her side, curled into the fetal position and started to weep; it was all she had the energy left to do, she was broken. Her vision started to dim as the drop in her sugar levels from the rush of adrenaline threatened to make her pass out. Everything was starting to grow dark as she heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

Then she heard a voice. A voice she needed desperately to hear. She forced her eyes open and looked up.

"L... L... Laura?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So folks, what did ya think? If you're a little confused, good, that was what I was going for. All will be explained in the following chapters but I wanted to mimic the confusion and panic Carmilla was feeling. Till next time!


	25. More Secrets Than Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, surprise, another chapter! I can't make any promises but the end is flowing easy and you might all get weekly updates for a little while. Enjoy!

Now

Laura had arrived at the gym far too early but as she was wholly responsible for the small gathering of people outside of it, she wanted to be there to greet them. To say it had been a rough week might have been the understatement of the century. After Monday's events came the cleanup and trying to figure out what the hell happened. If nothing else, those events proved that Deanna still had at least one patsy pulling the strings for her. If that wasn't enough, LaFontaine, while correct she'd be walking by the next day, had overestimated the effectiveness of their 'healing compound'. Laura was still a miracle recovery by the doctor's standards as she should have been casted and laid up for at least a week to make sure the femoral artery she'd damaged healed, and while he conceded that the damaged artery had healed, seemingly overnight, the damage to her thigh muscles hadn't. Aside from the four inch gash there were almost another dozen cuts, only a few of them needing stitches, scattered across the backs of her legs and arms. When she'd woken this morning, aside from her leg, it was the closest she'd felt to normal since Monday. All the smaller aches and pains she'd gotten from hitting the pavement as hard she did were starting to fade, as was the lingering headache from the minor concussion.

By Tuesday night she'd decided she wanted to be outside the gym when Carmilla left it for the last time. By Wednesday morning she had a plan, by that night she'd managed to contact most of the people waiting with her. Thursday morning she finally called Dana and let him in on what she'd done; found someone for each of the cast to meet as they left. She'd reasoned that if most of them were already there, or on their way, he could hardly say no.

She was leaning against Carmilla's MG, her cane resting beside her and her backpack on the car's hood when she received a text from Ethan; "Fight's started."

"This is it," she thought. "For better or worse, in the next few hours I'll know where we stand."

Laura had sent Perry to see Carmilla in hopes of finding out if she knew about anything that happened on Monday. If she did, she didn't mention it. Perry had assured her, though, that Carmilla seemed fine.

A little more than ten minutes had passed when she looked up at the sound of the gym's front doors opening and saw Ethan running towards her.

"You gotta come quick," he panted as he reached her, "something's wrong. She bolted from the gym before anyone could stop her."

"Where is she?" Laura spat out as she reached for her bag and cane.

"Round the side," he answered and turned his back to her. "C'mon, hop up."

"Don't be..."

"I'm not," he interrupted. "She needs you, now, and you can barely walk, let alone run."

Since his point was a valid one, she slipped her backpack on and then hopped up onto his back and felt a searing pain in the back of her leg as she pulled several of her stitches. "Damn it!" she hissed and thought; "Good thing I wore the black shorts."

"You okay?" Ethan panted as they reached a prone Carmilla on the grass surrounded by, Laura presumed, her coaches, and Dana White.

Laura didn't answer him but sunk to her knees beside her weeping girlfriend instead. "Someone want to tell me what happened?" she demanded.

"L... L... Laura?" Carmilla stammered.

"Hey Kitten," she soothed as she awkwardly pulled her into her arms. "It's okay, I got you, just breath." Carmilla nodded, but as Laura studied her through the blood that covered most of her face, she realized her blood sugar was dropping. "Ethan?" she called as she shrugged off her backpack. "Grab the sugar gel from the side pocket and the protein shake from the lunch bag inside my bag please?" Ethan nodded, found the gel pack first, opened it and handed it to her. She looked back to Carmilla to find her fading fast. "Hey, hey, hey," she cooed as she squeezed the concentrated sugar into her mouth, "come back to me baby." The gel pack worked the way it should and Carmilla's eyes started to clear. "That's it," Laura coaxed as she held the protein shake up to her lips, Ethan thoughtfully having opened it. She let Carmilla drink until, with a badly shaking hand, she reached up and pushed her hand away.

"Someone want to tell me what happened?" Laura repeated calmly as she looked up to the men around her.

"I'm not sure," one of them finally replied as he knelt beside them.

"Gilbert right?"

He nodded and then continued; "Something happened after Randa broke her nose," he shook his head. "It was like, she was there, but not."

"She went out in the third and knocked her out in about five seconds, we're checking, and then turned to hit her again," Dana supplied. "All of sudden she got this look of fear on her face, fell back onto her ass and then bolted out here."

Laura looked back to Carmilla and regarded her a moment.

"Flashbacks?" she questioned gently and received Carmilla's nod. She looked back to Dana. "How long before she gets disqualified for leaving the cage?"

"Maybe twenty minutes?" he replied as he looked at his watch.

"And how much do you have left to film?"

"Just the decision, her face off and the coaches, and," he looked at Carmilla. "I take it you still want to hand out your 'gifts'?" Carmilla nodded as he knelt down beside her. "I can try to get them to give us more time."

"What do you think, Carm?" Laura prodded as she stroked her blood covered cheek. "Think you can pull it together in fifteen minutes and stay that way long enough to get you through, maybe, an hour of filming?"

Carmilla looked at Dana and then back at Laura as she reached up and held her hand. "S... s... stay?"

Laura looked at her moment and then back to Dana; "She'll get it together faster if I stay for the rest of the filming," she explained and looked back to Carmilla to find her nodding and smiling. "But, uh, we'll ask the rest of the cast if it's okay for me to stay before we start?" she asked Carmilla, who again nodded. "I know it's a lot to ask, but..."

Dana silenced her with a wave of his hand as he stood.

"You guys go in and tell them we'll start filming in a half hour," he informed Gilbert and the rest of the coaches, effectively dismissing them before turning back to Carmilla and Laura. "Do we use the footage?" Dana asked, looking between them.

Laura again studied her girlfriend as she considered her answer and then looked back to Dana when Carmilla nodded. "Yes," she replied firmly. "I'm not sure what happened, but I suspect she had a flashback to the first time her stepmother broke her nose," she explained, a slight look of shock and nod from Carmilla confirmed her theory. "Right now, she's fighting the worst anxiety attack I've seen her have because of those flashbacks."

"Should I be worried?" Dana asked, explaining further when both women looked at him in confusion. "What if something like this happens again?"

"I don't think it will," Laura replied truthfully as she looked back to Carmilla. "For one, this is the biggest thing in her past she's forgotten until now." She looked back to Dana. "But it was brought on by stress; the stress of being here, being away from her support system and then add in all the crap in the last two weeks," she looked back to Carmilla, "and boom!" she mimicked an explosion. "You have the perfect conditions for a crap storm." She searched for a spot on Carmilla's face that wasn't covered in blood and kissed the corner of her forehead. "So, no, I don't think it will happen again because she'll never be in exactly this kind of situation again."

Dana rubbed his face and looked at his watch.

"Look, I have to go talk to the officials," he sighed. "We'll talk in a few days?"

"Use the footage, Dana," Laura urged. "If anyone still has doubts that Carm is telling the truth about her stepmother, this will convince them." She looked back to Carmilla. "You just can't fake this level of terror." She looked back to him. "We have plans tomorrow and Sunday morning, how about we meet for an early dinner Sunday evening?" He nodded and then walked away. She looked back to Carmilla and sighed; "Hey."

"H... h... hey."

"Think you can walk?" Carmilla shrugged. "How about we try standing first?" Carmilla chuckled and nodded. She looked up and spotted Ethan standing nearby. "Think you can give me a hand up?" she called.

Ethan nodded and walked over as Laura helped Carmilla sit up on her own. Laura got to her knees, took his hand to stand and then, as she stood, felt a trickle down the back of her leg.

"Um, Laura, you're..."

"I know," she cut him off and prodded him to help her help Carmilla to her feet. She pulled her into her arms the second she was standing and held her as tightly as she could. "It's going to be okay," she cooed. "I got you, okay?" she added as she pushed her away to take her face in her hands. "How about we get you cleaned up?" Carmilla nodded and then frowned as Ethan handed Laura her cane.

"Y... you okay?" Carmilla stammered.

"Will it help you pull it together quicker if you're angry?" Laura questioned as she put her free arm around Carmilla's waist and led her back toward the gym.

"Maybe."

"What happened Monday wasn't about sabotaging your fight," Laura supplied. "Well, maybe that was 'plan B', but it was more to get you out of the house." She glanced at her before continuing. "I won't go into detail, not now because it might be counterproductive and we don't have enough time for me to explain properly, but the short version is; someone was sent to kill you at the clinic. They, in turn, was fitted with a bomb vest that was triggered just as I was about to get some answers. I took some shrapnel to the backs of my legs and one of them was really deep." Carmilla pulled her to a stop. "I'll be okay, really, give me a week or two and I'll be totally fine," she rushed to assure her.

"You were hurt," Carmilla said quietly, surprising them both that her voice was steady despite how low it was. "When you came to see me?" Laura nodded. "You didn't say anything."

"I couldn't Carm, you know why," Laura all but pleaded. "I mean, look at you, you're already a mess and you didn't know." She hadn't been paying attention, Ethan having led them inside as they talked. "Medical?" she suggested. He nodded and led them down the hall. "Besides," she continued, picking up where she left off, "if you found out what happened, Deanna still would have won."

"True," Carmilla conceded and held her hands out to her once they were in medical. "Take these off for me? I want to wash my face."

"Sure," Laura smiled. "You mean there's a face under all that blood?" she joked as the medic joined them and offered her a pair of scissors.

"She head-butted me by accident near the end of the second," Carmilla supplied and then, at the look of disbelief on Laura's face, asked; "She do the same to you? Randa?"

"You know we fought?" Laura stalled.

"Found out on Wednesday," Carmilla supplied. "It's okay, Pup, I understand why you didn't tell me," she added as she watched Laura removing her gloves. "But this ends tonight, right?"

"Mostly," Laura qualified. "I was planning on telling you most everything tonight but there's someone waiting to meet you at the house and they have answers they haven't given me yet so it'll just be easier for you to talk to them," Laura took a deep breath. "Judging by your face, we're going to be making one last trip to the clinic before we head home, so it might be kind of late by the time we get there."

"Okay, whoa..." Carmilla laughed. "Slow down! There are about five things in that statement I don't understand." She shook her head. "So let's start with, house?"

"We've, uh, I mean you," Laura stammered. "You've been given a house about a half hour from downtown, but please, I can't explain more than that right now."

"Because of the people waiting there?" Carmilla questioned and received Laura's nod.

"Excuse me, Miss Hollis?" the medic interrupted. "Did you know you're bleeding?"

"Yes," she sighed. "How about you get me what I need to clean her up and you can take care of my leg?" she suggested. "I might not be a level three first attendant like my girlfriend, but I did ace the level two."

"You did?" Carmilla blurted

"Yup," Laura smiled. "That's how I knew I was in good hands when I broke my arm." She shrugged. "Given what I do for a living, watching my mother die and spending most of my free time in a gym, seemed like a good thing to have."

"What, um, do you do for a living?" Carmilla asked as Laura removed the last of the tape covering her hands.

"I've been a cop since I was twenty," Laura replied and then waited for her reaction.

"Seriously?" Carmilla laughed. "So you knew Rick before I even met you?"

"Yes, but he didn't know what I was doing until we took care of Bruce," Laura clarified. "We can't get into this right now."

"No," Carmilla sighed. "You're right," she smiled. "Let me wash my face so I can finally kiss you."

Laura followed her to the sink, washed the blood from her hands then met the medic over by the cot and dropped her shorts to the floor so the medic could check her wound as she prepared the supplies to clean up Carmilla.

"Shit," Carmilla hissed as she joined them. "Pup," she kissed her softly, "that looks bad."

"She's right," the medic interjected before Carmilla could kiss her again. "You've pulled most of your stitches and opened a bit of the laceration."

"Just bandage me up," Laura instructed. "I'm going to have to take her to get her nose looked at anyway, they can clean me up at the clinic." She patted the cot. "C'mon, we're running short of time; let's get you cleaned up a bit." Laura went to work on the cut above her eyebrow first. "Shit, babe, I think you're going to need a few stitches too," she informed her as she put a bandage over it to stem the bleeding. "But," she smiled as she carefully prodded the area around her nose, "I don't think your nose is broken, fractured maybe, but not badly."

"That's a relief," Carmilla sighed, studied her a moment and then asked; "You knew, didn't you? About the pictures?"

"I, uh, suspected," Laura replied carefully; she was afraid to tell Carmilla too much as she was still so fragile. "How much do you remember?"

"I don't," Carmilla shook her head, "I can't talk about it, not yet."

"I think I know something that might make you feel better," Laura offered.

"What could you possibly tell me that will make me feel better about my stepmother whoring me out?" Carmilla asked angrily as she jumped off the cot and walked to the other side of the room. "Without my knowledge, no less?" she hissed.

"Can you give us a few minutes?" Laura asked the medic, who nodded and seemed relieved to be leaving. "Are you mad at me for not telling you sooner or..."

"When did you know?" Carmilla cut her off.

"I've suspected for a while but I had no idea it was more than once let alone as extensive as it was," she supplied as she walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't tell you because," she sighed, "I didn't want to open a can of worms you didn't remember if I didn't have to." She rubbed her arm. "But Kitten, there is good news."

"How can any of this be remotely good?" Carmilla spat.

"I have definitive proof the pictures were staged and altered," Laura smiled.

"Staged?"

"Aside from being touched inappropriately while clothed, nothing more happened," Laura explained. "Both you and Deanna's targets were drugged to the point of being barely functional. She'd take pictures of you with the person and then take the naked pictures of you both separately to create the photos you found."

"How do you know all this?" Carmilla asked in shock.

"We don't have time to get into that," Laura forestalled when Dana poked his head in the door.

"I got you a little more time but that time is up," he advised them as he entered. "You going to be okay to get through this?"

"I'll manage," Carmilla replied dryly. "Can someone grab me a t-shirt and my shorts?" She looked at Laura. "I'm feeling a little..."

"Vulnerable?"

"Exposed," Carmilla countered. "It was fine when I was fighting but..."

"I'll be right back," Dana said before leaving.

"I'm proud of you," Laura said as she turned to her and ran her thumb along her jaw. "You did it, you made the finals," she kissed her forehead. "And that you managed to win despite whatever was going on?"

"I've been feeling off all day," Carmilla began quietly. "I didn't sleep well last night, kept dreaming about finding a stairwell behind Deanna's desk."

"We need to put this on 'pause' for now," Laura stopped her. "I already know a bit about what happened, but I'm afraid, if we get into it right now, you won't be holding it together for much longer." She could see the frustration in Carmilla's posture. "Please, baby, it's not that I don't want to tell you, I promise, by this time tomorrow if I haven't told you something it'll be because I just haven't told you yet." She put her hands on Carmilla's arms to stop her from walking away. "Listen to me, the better you hold it together, the quicker we get out of here, right?" Carmilla nodded. "You've trusted me this long, please Carm, just trust me for a little while longer."

"Do I have a choice?" she asked defeated.

"Please baby, it's..."

"No," Carmilla sighed. "It's fine," she took a deep breath. "Cause as much as I hate to admit it, you're not only right, you're the only thing holding me together."

"Considering the state I found you in I'm impressed you pulled it together at all," Laura commented.

"Yes, well," Carmilla softened and kissed her; "despite how little I know you, you know me very well." She smiled and kissed her forehead. "Anger trumps anxiety every time and as pissed as I am that you didn't tell me you got hurt, I'm far more angry you got hurt in the first place."

"Carm, I promise, once we get out of here I'll tell you everything I can and answer whatever I can, okay?"

"Okay," she replied as Dana returned with a sweatshirt, her shorts and the envelope from her bag. "Hold onto this for me?" she asked as she handed Laura the envelope so she could get dressed. "How's Randa?" she questioned Dana.

"She'll be fine," he replied. "Though I think you broke her nose worse than she broke yours."

"Serves her right for breaking it," Carmilla joked before pulling on her sweatshirt and shorts. "C'mon, let's get this over with," she said as she took Laura's free hand and then followed Dana back into the gym.

Carmilla took a deep breath as they entered, not sure what to expect from her cast mates. Of everything she might have imagined though, finding them waiting just inside the doors and then clapping as one once they saw her, wasn't one of them. She motioned them to quieten and then looked to Laura to speak for her.

"Hey guys," Laura started, despite being nervous herself, she could tell Carmilla's nerves were worse but how tight her grip on her hand was. "So, um, Carm's not coping very well right now, and um, if it's okay with all of you, I'd like to stay for the rest of the filming to help her through it."

As one they looked to Randa.

"Hey, if I don't have a problem with it," she shrugged. "I don't see that anyone else should," she supplied to some surprised laughter. "What?" she laughed. "Whatever gets me out of here and on some pain medication faster works for me."

"Th... tha... thank you," Carmilla stammered.

"Alright then," Dana intervened. "Let's get this show back on the road. Carmilla, Randa, if you'll join me and the ref back in the cage?"

Carmilla nodded and kissed Laura's cheek before following Randa and Dana into the cage. She and Randa took their spots on either side of the ref and waited for the cameras to set up before Dana announced the winner.

"The winner, by knockout," he started to renewed applause, "and moving onto the finale to face Carla," he smiled. "Carmilla Karnstein!"

Carmilla had her hand raised and then turned and pulled Randa into a hug.

"It was a good fight," she said quietly.

"Good?" Randa laughed. "You totally kicked my ass."

"I like to keep my promises," she winked and looked over to Dana when she heard him calling Carla into the cage. "Look, I know you're dying to head to the hospital, but stick around a few more minutes, trust me, it'll be worth it."

Randa nodded and then left the cage as Carmilla and Carla faced off in the middle of the cage and then shook hands. She and Carla left the cage, Laura taking her hand at the first opportunity, to let the coaches film their face off.

Once they were done Dana got everyone's attention; "You'll all be free to go shortly and you'll be getting a call in the next few days to tell you who you'll be fighting on the finale, but before you go," he motioned Carmilla over. "Carmilla has one last speech to make, though," he smiled, "I have a feeling it'll be a short one."

Carmilla nodded and motioned everyone over to the matts where she led Laura over to the wall and sat down against it. As Carmilla waited she took the envelope back from Laura, emptied it and then sorted the envelopes so that they could be passed around the circle. She waited until she had everyone's attention and then passed the stack of envelopes to Bec sitting on her left who, once she'd passed the stack along, returned Carmilla's necklace and Promise Ring to her.

"Thanks Bec," Carmilla said fondly as she gave her a one armed hug and kissed her cheek. She looked around the circle, most were eyeing their envelopes but none had opened them. "Go ahead," Carmilla prompted. "They're not going to explode or anything," she joked and then looked at Laura. "Sorry, poor choice of words." She looked back to her cast mates. "You can read the letters later but, uh," she sighed. "Wednesday night I thanked you all for helping me through the last six weeks," she shook her head. "If it weren't for you all, what happened during the fight, might have happened a lot sooner and ended up sending me home."

"What, uh, did happen, exactly?" Carla interrupted. "What?" she protested as several people turned to glare at her. "I'm fighting her next, I have a right to know."

"That's fair," Carmilla replied. "The truth is, I'm not sure. But rest assured, now that it has happened, I know the signs and I'd forfeit a fight before I let it happen again." She rubbed her face and then regretted it when she touched her nose. "But, I don't, can't, get into that right now." She looked around. "Look, these gifts, they're just that, gifts. I get that most of you are doing this in hopes of earning a living, and frankly, I don't have to. The only tangible way I have to show you how much I appreciate each and every one of you is like this. If, for whatever reason, however, you don't feel right, or something, about taking it, all I ask is that you give it away. Give it to a charity, your favorite gym, whatever," she smiled. "Or, use it as I intended it, as a gift. Don't worry about money for the next few months and let's give Dana the most exciting Ultimate Fighter Finale ever." She smiled at their looks of shock, each of them only now realizing what they held. "And my offer to train at my gym extends to everyone, with my team getting first dibs, of course."

"What about me?" Tecia asked.

"If you're not fighting one of us, I don't have any objections," Carmilla reasoned. "But how about we get out of here?" she joked to renewed applause mixed with laughter.

Every fighter came over and thanked Carmilla for the generous gift and assured her they'd put it to good use. As the last of them headed out, Laura took her hand and led her out through the same side door she'd escaped out earlier.

"What are you doing?" Carmilla asked as they came around the front of the gym.

"It was Dana's idea," Laura replied and kissed her cheek. "Since you're partially responsible for what's about to happen, he thought you should get to see it."

"See what and responsible for what, exactly?"

Laura didn't get a chance to answer as Dana, over by the main doors, opened them. The first to exit was Bec followed by a shriek of, "Mommy!"

"What did you do?" Carmilla sniffed as more and more of the cast had their own happy reunions.

"I've had a pretty epically shitty week," Laura replied as she wiped away a tear of her own. "And I didn't want to wait any longer than necessary to see you." She turned to face her. "But it didn't seem fair if I was out here waiting for you..."

Carmilla interrupted her with a kiss.

"You're..." she shook her head and laughed. "You're amazing, you know that?" She kissed her again. "This?" she motioned to the rest of the cast. "It's perfect." She kissed her a little longer this time. "You reminded them they're not the only ones who could benefit from my gifts." She kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

"I didn't do it for them," Laura admitted with a blush. "I did it for me."

"Laura," she sighed, "if I had any doubt, it's gone." She smiled and took her hands. "If it weren't for you," she shook her head, "I'd of forfeited my fight because I'd still be a quivering incoherent mess. Hell, I probably wouldn't have made it this far to begin with." She kissed her softly. "I might not like the things you've done, or the methods you used to get us here, and I know, from what you've told me so far, you've kept more secrets than told me lies," she took a deep breath. "But I wouldn't be here without you." She smiled. "And I wouldn't want to be here with anyone but you."


	26. I'd Rather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful readers! Another week and another new chapter! Please folks, if you enjoy the chapter please comment. They really do make my day and inspire me more than you know!

               

    “See this?” Laura sighed as she reached up and stroked Carmilla’s cheek, “is why I’m resigning the second we get home.”

    “What? Why?”

    “Because, as far the Police Department is concerned,” she looked down and took Carmilla’s hand; “all this is a ruse.” She met her eyes. “I can’t, won’t,” she shook her head as she searched for the words. “I can’t pretend that you don’t mean the world to me.” She took Carmilla’s other hand. “I’d have resigned the second we got involved but I didn’t want to give up my gun.”

    “But I carry a gun,” Carmilla countered.

    “And technically,” Laura smiled mischievously, “on paper anyway, you’re a cop too.” She smiled at Carmilla’s look of disbelief. “Canada’s gun laws are very strict,” she explained. “I talked Rick into it after Bob’s death.”

    “But I’ve been carrying a lot longer than that,” Carmilla commented.

    “And you were doing so illegally,” Laura replied and then looked away when she caught movement from the corner of her eye. “We have company.”

    They both turned to find Bec approaching with her two kids.

    “Thank you for this,” Bec said fondly as she went to give Carmilla a hug.

    “Don’t thank me,” Carmilla laughed as she held her at arm’s length. “Thank her,” she pointed to Laura. “Bec Rawlings,” she smiled; “My girlfriend, Laura Hollis.”

    “You did this?” Bec questioned as she shook Laura’s free hand.

    “I did,” Laura smiled. “I didn’t want to wait any longer than I had to to see Carm.”

    “You okay?” Bec asked after regarding Carmilla a moment.

    “I will be,” Carmilla replied. “It’s all,” she shook her head; “a little jumbled, right now, and I just want to get out of here, to be honest.”

    “I know you do,” Bec smiled. “That’s why, on behalf of everyone, thank you, both of you, for this.”

    Carmilla looked up and noticed that the rest of the cast was watching the exchange with interest. “You’re welcome!” she called and received their applause. She smiled, and for the first time since before the fight, it felt real. She leaned over to Laura and whispered in her ear; “Thank you,” before looking back to Bec. “I’ll see you and the rug rats in a couple of weeks?”

    “Better make it three weeks,” Laura interjected before Bec could respond.

    “Okay,” Carmilla said slowly. “Why?”

    “Cause you and I are taking a much needed and well-earned vacation,” Laura supplied and smiled when Carmilla grinned. “We should be just getting home in a couple of weeks.”

    “Three weeks works for me,” Bec cut in. “Gives me time to go home for a bit.”

    “Can you the pass the word around? That we’ll be meeting up in three weeks, not two?” Carmilla requested.

    “Sure,” Bec replied, studied her a moment and then asked; “I’d like to give you a hug, if that’s okay?”

    “Of course,” Carmilla laughed and went to pull her into her arms when she noticed a fresh bruise under Bec’s eye. “Wait,” she reached up and ran her thumb over it lightly. “When did you get this?”

    “You, uh,” Bec stammered. “You might have elbowed me out of your way when you were leaving the cage.”

    “Oh, Bec,” Carmilla sighed as she pulled her into her arms. “I’m so sorry.”

    “It was an accident,” Bec dismissed.

    “Still,” she backed away; “you, quite literally, help me hold it together for six weeks and this is thanks you get?”

    “If it’s anyone’s fault,” Laura said quietly, “it’s your stepmother’s.”

    “True,” Carmilla conceded. “Damn,” she sighed having spotted Dana heading their way. “What now?” she thought as she hugged Bec again and then watched her leave as Dana approached.

    “You need to do your post fight urine sample,” he informed her.

    “Fine,” she sighed.

    “You want me to come with you?” Laura offered.

    “I think I can manage a urine sample by myself,” she joked and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

    Laura nodded towards the car and then she and Dana walked over to it.

    “How’s she doing?” he asked conversationally.

    “She’s,” Laura sighed as she put her cane in the backseat and noticed that Ethan must have returned her backpack to the car; “holding it together, but only just.”

    “What you said, about the flashbacks and this not happening again,” Dana started as he regarded her; “is that true, or was that for her benefit?”

    “No,” she smiled; “it’s true.” She shrugged. “Besides, you heard her, she’d forfeit before she let it happen again.”

    “Let what happen, though?” he pushed. “I mean, aside from bolting from the cage, she didn’t do anything wrong.”

    “I don’t know,” Laura replied. “I’m not sure even she understands what happened yet.”

    “Do you think you can figure it out before Sunday?” he questioned.

    “Why?” She eyed him. “What did you have in mind?”

    “It was Beth’s idea,” he stalled. “She thinks it would be a good idea to have Carmilla watch the fight and tell us what’s going on.” When Laura didn’t immediately reply, he added; “What? You’re the one who was insisting we use the footage. Want to make it more impactful? Have her explain what she was going through.”

    “It’s a good idea,” Laura said thoughtfully as Carmilla returned. “I’ll talk to her about it.”

    “Five PM, the house,” he advised her. “Either way, the three of us need to talk.”

    “Fair enough,” Laura replied. “We ready to go?” she greeted Carmilla.

    “More than,” Carmilla laughed. “Is, um,” she looked at Dana, “everything okay?”

    “I spoke to Carla...”

    “When?” Carmilla interrupted.

    “I don’t see how that matters,” he countered.

    “It matters,” Carmilla pressed. “When did you ask her?”

    “After the fight but before your gifts and this,” he supplied with a wave to the rest of the cast that was only now beginning to disperse. “She’s agreed to having the finale in Vancouver.”

    “Dana, I...” she looked around, spotted Carla, got her attention and yelled her thanks. “Let the other team know they’re welcome to use my gym the week before the fights and I’ll take care of their accommodations.”

    “That’s hardly...”

    “I know it’s not necessary,” she interjected. “But it’s nothing compared to what having the fight in my hometown means to me.” She shrugged. “Besides,” she smiled, “I do have the best MMA gym in Vancouver and no one works out all that much before the week before a fight, we can all easily share,” she reasoned.

    “Look,” he said seriously but was smiling, “text me from the hospital, let me know what the doctor says.”

    “You want to know if I’ll be okay to fight in three months,” Carmilla deduced. “I can fight on two weeks’ notice,” she bragged. “I can manage with two months.”

    “You might,” Dana smiled, “but Randa might need a little more recovery time if she wants her rematch.”

    “You told her?” Laura blurted.

    “It explained why you didn’t,” he rationalized. “I would’ve thought you’d have approved,” he joked. “And don’t give me this, ‘She didn’t see my fight,’ crap either.”

    “Why?” Laura looked at Carmilla. “What did you do?” When Carmilla shrugged she looked back to Dana.

    “What you did for three rounds? She did for one and did more damage,” he supplied.

    “No wonder she was getting so frustrated,” Carmilla laughed.

    “You really didn’t see Laura’s fight with her?” Dana questioned.

    “Nope,” she said, despite still chuckling. “I didn’t even know she was old enough to fight professionally before I left for the show.”

    “Wow,” Dana laughed. “Guess you two do have a lot of catching up to do.”

    “You could say that,” Laura smiled. “Dana?” She waited a moment. “I know the last couple of weeks have been, um, challenging,” she started. “But, thank you, for doing everything I asked.”

    “You were just trying to keep her,” he smiled at Carmilla; “and everyone else, safe. I get that and thank you for covering the bases I didn’t know I have.” He shook Laura’s hand. “Sunday?”

    “Sunday,” Laura agreed.

    Carmilla waited until Dana had walked away and then pushed Laura up against the car.

    “Correct me if I’m mistaken,” she started as she leaned in to kiss Laura’s neck. “But is this my MG?”

    “It is,” Laura confirmed.

    “Why is it here?” she asked and then pulled Laura’s earlobe between her teeth and elicited a gasp from the blonde.

    “Because I thought we could drive it back to Vancouver,” Laura replied and pushed her away gently. “And you don’t need to distract me to get answers,” she teased and then asked; “What?” when Carmilla held out her hand for the keys. “You can’t honestly think I’d let you drive in your condition.”

    “I’m fine,” Carmilla pouted.

    “Even if you hadn’t just had the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever seen you have,” Laura replied carefully as she reached into the cooler on the back seat and took a protein shake from inside. “You do have a broken nose,” she reminded her as she handed her the shake. “And you won’t be fit to drive once you’ve drunk that.”

    Carmilla took a long swallow of her shake, smiling when she felt the burn of the rum down her throat.

    “Thank you,” she said and kissed Laura. “But,” she smiled as she walked around to the passenger side of the car; “can you explain how it’s safe for us to be away from Vancouver for two weeks, let alone driving a convertible around the States?”

    “Well,” Laura started as she got behind the wheel; “for starters, Deanna’s in jail waiting for trial.”

    “She still pulled off whatever happened on Monday,” Carmilla pointed out.

    “Yes,” Laura shook her head as she backed out of their parking spot and then waited for Steven to pull in behind them. “Which proves she still has someone out there pulling the strings.” She glanced at Carmilla. “However, Deanna isn’t stupid enough to pull anything in the States a third time.”

    “She isn’t,” Carmilla commented as Laura pulled into traffic. “Who’s to say whoever is helping her is?”

    “Then they’re going to have a hell of time because only your new flight crew, Betty and Steven, know where we’re going,” Laura supplied. “If,” she paused as she felt Carmilla’s hand come to rest on her thigh. “If,” she continued; “they try something, we might just catch them.”

    “That’s a pretty big ‘if’, Cupcake,” Carmilla shook her head. “I still don’t see how it’s safe to be driving around in a convertible, though.”

    “Well, it’s just barely your MG,” Laura supplied. “The last owner made some upgrades,” she said carefully; the last owner was Carmilla’s father. “All key areas, like the doors and around the gas tank, have been reinforced with bullet-proof steal.”

    “That’s why they upgraded the engine,” Carmilla commented thoughtfully. “To compensate for the extra weight.”

    “Exactly,” Laura smiled. “The windows are bullet-proof too and we’ll have the Xanders with us the whole time watching our backs,” Laura added. “Also, by the way, they’re cops too.”

    “Laura?”

    “Yeah?”

    “How long have you been doing whatever you’ve been doing?” Carmilla asked.

    “My Dad has been watching over you and Will since your Mom died,” Laura replied and glanced at her, Carmilla’s surprise was clear. “Are you more surprised at the answer or that I answered?”

    “Both,” Carmilla laughed.

    “I told you I’d answer what I could,” Laura reminded her. “Frank officially hired my Dad about a month before you ran away. I found out what he was doing about two weeks before you met Bob.” She again glanced Carmilla’s way. “The police have been officially involved for about six months.”

    Carmilla looked to the distance, not really paying attention while she mulled over Laura’s most recent revelations.

    “Laura?” she finally said as they come to a stop at light. “I get why your Dad got involved, but why did you?”

    “I wasn’t lying when I said I’d been following your story since your Dad died,” Laura provided. “But why did I start helping my Dad help you?” Carmilla nodded. “Aside from the piss poor job he was doing,” she sighed. “At first I wasn’t really doing much but when I found out you guys were living on the streets I knew something had to be done. I thought, since martial arts really helped me get some through some rough times, I thought maybe it could help you.”

    “So you set up the job with Bob?”

    “I did, though from what Dark tells me, even though you didn’t knock him out, you did catch him off guard and knock him off his feet.” She smiled. “I wanted to meet you a long time ago though; I was following Dark the night he walked off the Granville Bridge, trying to work up the nerve to talk to him so he could maybe introduce us.”

    “How much does everyone know?”

    “Brody knows next to nothing. Dark knows I’m cop, that I fought professionally and that I was working undercover to keep you safe.” She felt Carmilla’s hand on her leg again. “And the only person who knows I’m not just working for the cops, is Rick.”

    “You didn’t explain why you got involved,” Carmilla pushed.

    “The thing with Derek happened a couple of years ago,” Laura began; she’d be thinking of her answer for the last six weeks. “I used to, well, you thought I was nineteen, right?” Carmilla nodded. “Well, when I was twenty I could easily pass for sixteen.”

    “Probably still could,” Carmilla teased.

    “Yes, well, I was a perfect fit for taking down high school drug rings,” Laura explained despite Carmilla’s taunt. “Steven was my partner; he pretended to be my Dad. And yes, before you say anything Steven’s only thirty-five...”

    “But if you were pretending to be sixteen that would make total sense,” Carmilla commented.

    “Exactly,” Laura smiled. “The last high school I worked we found out it was more than just drugs. It was the hockey team drugging girls and then taking advantage of them to earn points. I was on duty and ran into my ex at a party where much of the team was hanging out. I got upset, took a beer off some random girl and got myself drugged.” She sighed. “The rest of the story you know, what you don’t know, is that between that and my Mother’s death, I started spiralling out of control. I was put on mandatory medical leave and started training at the Tri Star gym in Montreal.” She glanced at Carmilla and found her looking suitably impressed. “That’s when I started hearing rumors about the Ultimate Fighter. You’d already had a few amateur fights, and were fairly impressive in all, so I started working on finding you professional fights so you’d qualify for the show.” She smiled. “And yes, I really have been to all your fights and was helping Bob coach you via Bluetooth.”

    “Seriously?”

    “Yes, seriously,” Laura laughed. “I was in a very dark place,” she shrugged. “Helping you, having a goal, it was the only thing that pulled me back from the brink.”

    “So, um, want to tell me what the frilly hell happened on Monday?”

    “To understand what happened on Monday, I have to tell you what happened last week,” Laura started. “We think Julie was the one who blew up the plane...”

    “Julie?” Carmilla gasped. “But I thought you hired her to protect me?”

    “I did,” she admitted. “On Frank’s advice. He was also the one who hired Julian, who happens to be Julie’s little brother.”

    “Wait, are you saying that Frank’s been working for Deanna all this time?” Carmilla asked as she considered having Laura pull over so she could throw up.

    “Frank was one of Deanna’s picture targets,” Laura said carefully; she wasn’t sure how Carmilla was coping and she didn’t want to delve too far into that topic until she was sure Carmilla was ready. “He’s, uh, dead.” When Carmilla only looked at her in shock, she continued; “Someone sent Nancy the pictures and she killed him because of it. She admitted it to me before she blew up.”

    “Nancy’s dead too?”

    “She killed Frank sometime last Thursday, we found her and found out she was booked on a flight to Vegas. Steven, Betty and I followed her down on the same plane, heavily disguised, of course, but lost track of her at the airport. Now, here’s where it gets interesting,” she paused as she pulled into the parking lot across from the Clinic. “We were searching for her all weekend but she just vanished. Turns out she made us on the plane and called Deanna the second we touched down.”

    “But wasn’t Deanna already in jail?”

    “She was arrested early the Thursday after I... after Will died,” Laura supplied. “Finding out Will was alive gave us the excuse we were looking for to do a search of the estate. What Deanna didn’t count on was the police having the estate’s original blueprints.” She smiled. “We found more than enough evidence to arrest her on the spot.”

    “So, if Deanna was already in jail,” Carmilla said thoughtfully. “Who did Nancy talk to? And why wouldn’t she know Deanna was already in jail?”

    “Because that hasn’t been made public yet,” Laura confided. “So anyway, Ethan called me as soon as he found out he was taking you to the clinic. We’d been having regular sweeps done around the clinic, gym, and house all weekend. Sometime between their sweep Sunday morning and Monday a van showed up there.” She pointed to where a large black mark could still be seen on the pavement and the wall of the building behind it, a smaller black spot a few feet in front of it. “We rounded up all the medical staff...”

    “What was the story with that anyway?”

    “The show’s doctor received a letter along with two blister packs, numbered as to what pill you should start with, supposedly from your family doctor. We’ve had the medications tested; all but the placebos were real.”

    “And the placebos were...”

    “A concentrated form of the stuff in seafood that gives you migraines,” Laura replied. “Laf can explain it better,” she shook her head. “Anyway, when I was done talking to him I went out to take a look at the monitors and the techs pointed out the white van. As we were watching Nancy stumbled from it and shuffled over to that bench. Sherriff Denman wanted to send in a Swat team but I knew, whatever was planned, would probably result in their deaths.”

    “So you risked your life instead?”

    “I knew that Deanna would want to find out how much I know and I was counting on Nancy not wanting to kill me,” Laura explained. “I wasn’t completely alone,” she clarified. “Vegas PD had sharp shooters in place to take her out if it went sideways and I had the Sherriff listening in over the phone.” She smiled. “And I was wearing your leather vest.”

    “My... what? Why?”

    “Ever wonder why it’s so much heavier than it looks?” Carmilla shrugged. “I had it custom made so it was essentially a bullet proof vest. I’m afraid you won’t be getting it back for a while, though, it got shredded saving my life and they’re keeping it as evidence.”

    “But Bob gave me that for my twenty-first birthday,” she commented.

    “And you don’t know how relieved I was when he told me you loved it,” Laura said as she shut the car’s engine off and turned to her. “I know it sounds like a risk but I don’t do anything without considering the consequences first. I’m a really good cop.”

    “I bet you are,” Carmilla teased.

    “Anyway, I parked over there,” she pointed to where she’d parked her Jeep. “And approached her with my gun drawn. She told me what happened; a short brunette...”

    “Julie?” Carmilla supplied.

    “More than likely,” Laura answered. “She was taken to a van and then drugged by a second person inside. She was probably kept in it all weekend given how she looked, driven and left here with a note telling her what she had to and she’d been fitted with a bomb vest to make sure she went through with it. We were talking, on the back of the note she’d written an address, which, yes, we followed up on. Given what we found we suspect that she was actually working with Frank. They both kept detailed logs of all the things they’d done on Deanna’s behalf. For example; the hotel room? Deanna had nothing to do with it; that was all Nancy and Will. She told me that she’d only helped Deanna to try and keep you safe. That was right about the time her vest beeped. When it did it a second time she opened her jacket and revealed the bomb’s timer had sped up. She told me to run, I told her to get back into the van,” she pointed to the smaller spot. “She didn’t quite make it and I didn’t quite make it to the Jeep. The shrapnel I got hit with came from her and then the van blew up a few seconds later.”

    “How did I not hear any of this?”

    “Cause I had you moved to the rear of the clinic,” Laura provided.

    “Good thing you got hurt right outside a clinic, huh?” Carmilla joked.

    “Yes and no,” Laura shrugged and started the car again. “They’re not a trauma facility. If they were they’d have known better than to get me to stand up. That nasty gash you saw?” Carmilla nodded. “It went down to the bone but then nicked my femoral artery when they stood me up.”

    “Shit,” Carmilla hissed. “I love that you risked your life for me but you really got stop getting hurt, okay?”

    “Deal,” Laura agreed as she parked the car in front of the clinic. “I woke up about a half hour before you and went to the roof with Dana to have a smoke. I asked him to wheel me over to the front so I could assess the damage when I noticed a gunman on that roof,” she pointed to the building where she’d spotted Julian. “I knew he probably wasn’t alone so I had Dana take me quickly inside and called the Sherriff. They took all the buildings around this one at the same time. I was watching from a fifth floor window,” she shook her head. “He stood, turned to the cops and then had his head blown off by Julie, who in turn, stepped, or possibly tripped, depending on who you talk to, off the roof and was killed on impact.” She reached for Carmilla’s hand. “All that happened while you were talking to Dana.”

    “So the sirens I heard?”

    “The ambulance coming for Julie,” Laura responded. “Do you see now why I didn’t tell you?”

    “I do,” she sighed. “But this stops now, right?” She studied Laura’s eyes a moment. “No more secrets, got it?” Laura nodded. “I love you Laura,” she took her hands and kissed the back of them. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to continue following your lead blindly,” she looked to their hands. “We’re a team, okay?” She asked as she looked back to her. “Yes, the decisions you’ve made on my behalf are probably the same ones I’d have made, given the chance, but I want,” she shook her head. “Need you to include me. I can’t...” she sighed. “This?” she squeezed her hands. “Us?” she shook her head. “It only works if we work together. I can’t be wondering, all the time, if you’re telling me everything.” Laura looked down. “I understand why you didn’t tell me before, I do.” Laura met her eyes. “Keeping me in the dark was the best way to keep me, keep you and your Dad, safe.” She smiled. “But from now on we do that together, alright?”

    “But, just...”

    “I know there’s stuff you can’t tell me tonight,” Carmilla sighed. “And as frustrating as that is,” she smiled. “Frankly?” She kissed her hands again. “I’m more than happy to put all this on hold for the rest of the night and just be me and you.” Laura smiled. “Two women who have missed the hell out of each other for six weeks, okay?”

    “Okay, but, um, there is still some stuff we should talk about tonight.”

    “Like what you and Dana were talking about when I went to pee in a cup?” Carmilla prompted as she got out of the car. “Got a smoke?”

    “Glove compartment,” Laura provided as she got out of the car and grabbed her backpack and cane from the back seat. “Dana, he, uh, wants to film you watching the fight and maybe explain what was going on.”

    “He’s worried, isn’t he? That it’ll happen again?” Carmilla asked as she retrieved the cigarettes from the glove compartment and then went to lean on the car next to Laura. “Want one?” she asked when Laura didn’t reply.

    “I’ll share yours, if that’s okay?” Carmilla nodded. “He said the only thing you did wrong was bolt from the cage.”

    Carmilla lit her cigarette, and closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply; finally the images had stopped. Ever since the fight, every time she closed her eyes, she saw another picture. While Laura’s assertions that the photos she’d seen were staged should have made her feel better, she still felt violated.

    “We don’t have to talk about it right now,” Laura said quietly as the silence stretched and she reached for the cigarette. “If you’re not ready.”

    “It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it,” Carmilla admitted. “It’s just,” she sighed and looked at Laura’s watch; “it’s already getting late. I’m exhausted, both physically and emotionally.” She took Laura’s free hand, stood in front of her and pushed her back into the car. “I just want to go home, have something to eat, take a long hot bath with you, and go to bed.”

    “All that sounds amazing...”

    “Don’t say ‘but’,” Carmilla said as she interrupted her with a kiss.

    “However,” Laura chuckled as she pushed her away and gave her back the cigarette; “There’s someone in Vancouver waiting to talk to that I really think you’ll want to talk to.”

    “They can wait until tomorrow,” Carmilla countered as she kissed Laura’s neck.

    “Babe,” Laura laughed as she pushed her away again; “there’s a lot of darkness coming your way in the next couple of days,” she explained seriously as Carmilla took another drag of the cigarette and offered it to her. “And more than a few surprises,” she inhaled from the cigarette and handed it back. “This? The person who wants to talk to you? I think it’ll make that darkness a little brighter.”

    “Why not just tell me who it is?”

    “And ruin one of the few good surprises I have for you?” Laura teased. “C’mon,” she took her hand and led her toward the clinic. “Let’s get this over with so we can go home.” Carmilla took one last drag, threw the cigarette to the ground and stomped it out as Laura led her inside. “Good evening, Doctor,” she greeted as they approached the nursing station.

    “I thought,” he smiled as he took Carmilla’s chin her hand and examined her face; “we’d agreed to stop meeting this way?” he joked.

    “Yeah, well, I didn’t plan on getting head-butted or having a sneaky elbow break my nose,” Carmilla commented.

    “Fair enough,” he chuckled. “How about we get you into x-ray before I take a look at that eyebrow?” Carmilla nodded.

    “Um, Doctor?” Laura interrupted as he turned to summon a nurse. “I’m pretty sure I pulled most of my stitches. Maybe,” she turned to Carmilla; “if you’re okay to get your x-rays on your own?”

    “Have you any idea how x-rays I’ve had?” Carmilla teased; she had a feeling Laura knew the answer. “I’ll be fine,” she kissed her cheek. “Whatever gets us out of here faster.”

    “Okay,” she looked to the Doctor. “Maybe you can take a look at my leg while she’s busy?”

    “Sure,” he looked at the nurse as she joined them. “Please take Miss Karnstein to x-ray; full facial series and a head CT, just to be safe.” He looked back to Carmilla who was frowning despite the pain in her eyebrow. “It’s just a safety precaution,” he assured her. “If you got head-butted hard enough to cut you, you might have a concussion,” he reasoned.

    “Fine,” Carmilla sighed and kissed Laura’s cheek again before following the nurse.

    “Care to tell me how you pulled your stitches?” the doctor questioned as he led her to a nearby examination room.

    “She, um, had a bit of a meltdown at the end of the fight,” Laura replied as she took off her shorts, got on the bed and turned to lie on her stomach. “Ethan, the cop I hired to watch over her, came to get me. He knows what happened on Monday and knew I couldn’t run so he gave me a piggyback ride,” she shrugged as she felt the doctor lay a blanket over her and then take the bandage off her leg. “They tore when I hopped up.”

    “This is going to be cold,” he advised her before he rinsed her wound. “It doesn’t look too bad,” he commented. “Yes, you pulled all but a few of your stitches, but the laceration is mostly healed except for where its deepest.” She felt him examine her other stiches. “I might as well take out the rest after I re-stitch this,” he said as he went to gather what he needed.

    Laura laid her head on her hands and sighed; this was definitely not what she had planned for the day. “Then again,” she thought; “when does anything ever to go according to plan?”

    “You’re going to feel a little sting and...”

    “It’s not the first time I’ve had stitches,” she interrupted as her phone vibrated in her shorts. “Can you grab me my phone before you start?” she asked.

    “Sure,” he replied and went to retrieve it. “But you know I have to change my gloves now.”

    “Sorry,” Laura shook her head. “But thanks.”

    “Why aren’t you answering my calls?” read the text message.

    “Sorry,” she replied. “Had to make a trip to the clinic.”

    “She okay?”

    “Mostly,” she sighed.

    “She win?”

    “Yes, but I didn’t tell you that.”

    “Who am I going to tell?”

    “Good point,” Laura chuckled and then hissed as she felt the doctor inject the freezing into her leg. “We’re going to call you when we get home.”

    “How long?”

    “One, maybe, two hours tops.”

    “Fine, I’ll take a nap, text first.”

    “Okay.”

    “Everything okay?” the doctor asked.

    “No,” Laura replied. “How long before Carm can start training?”

    “Depends how bad her nose is,” he answered as he finished putting in the new stitches and started taking out the rest. “I’d say, four weeks, no contact, at least.”

    “But regular training?”

    “At least a week,” he suggested as Laura heard the door open and looked up to see Carmilla returning.

    “That was quick,” Laura commented as Carmilla walked over and kissed the top of her head.

    “Benefits of a private clinic,” the Doctor stated. “No waiting.” He patted Laura’s leg. “You’re done,” he told her. “Get those new stitches out in a week.”

    “Thanks, Doctor,” Laura said as she sat up and took her shorts from Carmilla.

    “Your turn,” he said to Carmilla and motioned her to the bed. Carmilla kissed Laura’s check while the doctor took away what he’d been using on Laura and gathered what he needed for her. Once he changed his gloves he returned and took the bandage from Carmilla’s eyebrow. “Hmm,” he hummed as he prodded the cut and made her wince. “Six, maybe seven, stitches should do it.” He started prodding the area around her nose. “I don’t think it’s broken but we won’t know for sure until I see the x-rays.” He smiled. “Let’s get this cut taken care of while we wait, yes?” Carmilla nodded as Laura took her hand.

    “What?” she asked Laura.

    “You don’t have a problem with needles do you?”

    “Well,” she squeezed Laura’s hand, “not really, but this one is going near my eye.”

    “Ready?” the doctor interjected, proceeding when Carmilla nodded.

    The two were left alone when Carmilla’s x-rays still hadn’t arrived by the time he was done. Carmilla reached for Laura’s other hand and pulled her in front of her. While Carmilla had a lot of questions, she wasn’t sure she was ready for some of the answers.

    “You okay?” Laura asked.

    “Confused,” Carmilla admitted quietly. “I was still seeing flashes until a little while ago,” she closed her eyes and shook her head. “How many?”

    “I’m sorry?”

    “How many different people?”

    “Are you sure you want to know?” Laura asked.

    “No,” she sighed. “But I need to know. I need...”

    “Perspective?”

    “Yeah,” she sighed again. “You said you know a bit about what happened?” Laura nodded. “How?”

    “Will told me,” Laura admitted. “I’d have thought he was lying but,” she shook her head. “Deanna didn’t even try to hide anything, it was...” Laura studied her a moment. “How much do you remember?”

    “All of it,” Carmilla choked out. “Right up to the moment she punched me in the face.” She wiped away her tears. “I found the other rooms first. Will found me when I was in the room with the pictures.” She looked up to Laura. “What were the two rooms at either end of the hall?” Laura looked at her in confusion. “I found the hotel room, the replica of my room, Deanna’s favorite room,” she said bitterly. “And the room with the pictures, but I didn’t look in the rooms at either end of the hallway.”

    “They aren’t rooms,” Laura supplied. “One is an elevator and the other leads to a tunnel that lets out a few blocks away.” Laura looked down. “Baby? You sure you want to talk about this right now?”

    “No,” she sighed; “I suppose you’re right.”

    Laura kissed her forehead.

    “It’s not because I don’t want to tell you, you know that right?” Laura asked but Carmilla didn’t get a chance to answer as the doctor returned. “So? What’s the good news?”

    “Hairline fracture,” he said as he put the x-rays up on the light board and pointed to it. “It is, however, straight, so we won’t need to splint it.” He turned and smiled at her. “And no concussion. Take it easy for the next week and then you can go back to training but no contact for four weeks.”

    “Thanks Doctor,” Carmilla replied and went to shake his hand. “Hopefully I won’t be seeing you again.”

    “Good luck in the finals,” he replied.

    “Home?” Laura suggested.

    “Home,” Carmilla affirmed and kissed her briefly before the two headed out to the car. “Have you got my phone and wallet?”

    “They’re in the side pocket,” Laura replied as she handed Carmilla her backpack. She got in behind the wheel, put the keys in the ignition and took out her phone. “Why do you want them?” she asked in an effort to distract Carmilla from the fact she was sending a text of her own.

    “Who’re you texting?” Carmilla countered with a raised eyebrow.

    “Our guests at the pool house,” Laura replied with a sigh as she texted Bill; “Only heading home now. Meet for lunch?”

    “I don’t understand why you just won’t tell me,” Carmilla replied as she did up her seatbelt and then opened her phone’s web browser.

    “Because if I tell you we’ll be up all night talking about it,” Laura reasoned. “And I seem to remember someone saying something about a long shower and bed?”

    “I believe I said ‘bath’,” Carmilla teased.

    “What are you doing?” Laura asked as she put her phone aside, Bill having texted back saying they’d see them at lunch, and started the car.

    “I wanted to do something nice for the staff at the clinic,” Carmilla replied as she found a nearby flower shop. “What do you think they’d like better? Flowers or food?”

    “You don’t have to do that,” Laura replied and glanced at her before backing out of the parking spot.

    “Why not?” Carmilla laughed. “They were really...” she trailed off at the look on Laura’s face. “What?”

    “It didn’t strike you as odd that, in your three visits, you never saw another patient?” Laura pointed out.

    “What did you do?” Carmilla asked, a little awestruck at the lengths Laura had taken on her behalf.

    “Technically,” Laura sighed. “Well, it was my suggestion, but, uh...”

    “Oh, just out with it already!” Carmilla teased as Laura pulled out into traffic.

    “My Dad and I were hired by Frank on behalf of a third party,” Laura replied vaguely.

    “And this ‘third party’, that’s who wants to meet me tomorrow?” Carmilla questioned and received Laura’s nod. “So what’s the deal with the clinic, then?”

    “I set it up months ago,” Laura explained. “Essentially all the staff were given a six week paid vacation to be on call in case you needed medical attention.”

    “Seriously?” Carmilla replied, dumbstruck.

    “Part of the reason,” Laura glanced at her, “that I wanted to get you in the house was because I figured it would be the best way to keep you safe while we went after Deanna directly. I mean, I knew she’d still try, but I thought, being in the States, surrounded by people at all times,” she sighed. “What could go wrong?”

    “A lot, apparently,” Carmilla replied dryly. “Anything else happen while I was away that I should know about?” She looked at Laura and wondered if she would answer. “Like, where you found the blueprints to the Estate?”

    “I don’t want to lie to you, Carm,” Laura answered slowly. “So if I tell you they were up at cabin, can you leave it at that for now?”

    “But...”

    “Please?” Laura begged.

    “Fine,” Carmilla sighed.

    “Deanna,” Laura continued as the silence stretched. “She tried to have me run off the road on the way up there.”

    “You went up alone?”

    “No, I rode...”

    “Rode?” Carmilla blurted. “You ride a motorcycle?”

    “I have two,” Laura smiled as she glanced at her girlfriend and noted her surprise. “A vintage Honda Shadow my Dad gave me when I graduated from the Justice Institute and a Ducati Monster I bought last summer.”

    “And here I was, at the Harley store, wondering if I should order you a bike of your own or if I’d rather have you ride on the back of mine,” Carmilla laughed and took her hand now that they were on the highway and Laura didn’t need it to shift gears.

    “So what did you decide?”

    “I didn’t,” Carmilla replied. “I picked one out for you and told them I’d be by before we left Vegas to make a decision.”

    “I guess I’d look weird riding beside you on either of my bikes,” Laura commented playfully. “But since I’m the more experienced rider, you’d probably be riding with me,” she teased.

    “We’ll take turns?” Carmilla suggested with a chuckle.

    “Sure,” Laura laughed. “Anyway, Rick insisted I take Steven with me to watch my back,” she sighed. “Turned out it was a good idea,” she left Carmilla’s hand go to downshift as they pulled into their driveway. “He flagged me down about two hours from the cabin. We’d picked up a tail just outside of Horseshoe Bay but they wanted to wait until we got somewhere more remote to get him off the road.” She slowed to let the gate open. “Car blew up when he shut off the ignition,” she took Carmilla’s hand. “We were quite a ways away, so we didn’t get hurt, and neither did any of the attending officers. I, uh, thought it was Nancy, I mean, it seemed too rash and ill planned to be Deanna, but Nancy’s journals made no mention of it.”

    “When did this happen?” Carmilla questioned quietly, a lump in her throat at the thought of Laura’s life in danger, again, making it hard to speak louder.

    “The Monday after you left,” Laura supplied. “We made it up to the cabin from there without seeing so much as another car and then I rode back with Steven while one of your cousins’s brought my bike back in his pickup for me.” She sighed. “It was my first ride on the Monster and I haven’t ridden in a while, so I was too tired and distracted to ride back.” She pulled up in front of the house and killed the engine. “Carm, um, there’s something else.”

    “What? Did she try to kill you some other way too?”

    “No,” Laura replied and turned to her. “The weekend after you left, I, uh, I wasn’t coping so well.” She took Carmilla’s hands. “Danny and Dark found me up on the roof after I cried myself to sleep on the Sunday night.” She looked down. “I, uh, woke up the next morning in Danny’s arms.”

    “Laura?” Carmilla prompted and waited until Laura met her eyes. “I asked Danny to take care of you,” she reached over her and stroked her cheek. “I’m glad she did.”

    “Nothing else happened,” Laura rushed to assure but blushed when she remembered the position she’d woken up the morning they’d gone to talk to Will.

    “Then why are you blushing?” Carmilla asked lightly despite the knot in her stomach.

    “I, uh, had a dream,” Laura explained shyly; “the, uh, morning Danny and I went to talk to Will.” She looked down. “I, um, might have,” she shrugged; “woken up with a hand under her shirt and, um, maybe dry humping her hip.” She looked up when she heard Carmilla chuckling. “What?” she protested. “I missed you and, and, and,” she tried to reason but Carmilla was now laughing outright. “I don’t think she noticed the last part.”

    “Oh, Cupcake, it’s okay,” Carmilla chuckled as she wiped a tear from her eye. “The look on your face,” she shook her head. “I was expecting something way worse with how guilty you were looking.” She kissed her softly. “Thank you for telling me,” she said as she leaned her forehead against Laura’s. “Would it make you feel better if I told you,” she started as she turned to get out of the car; “that that same Sunday was the first night Bec held me through the night?”

    “Really?” Laura replied in surprise as she went to follow her.

    “Yeah,” Carmilla affirmed as she grabbed Laura’s bag for her. “Where’s my stuff?”

    “Shit,” Laura sighed. “It’s in the Jeep,” she supplied. “Is there anything you need before morning? I brought a bunch of your stuff here,” she shrugged. “I figured you’d be tired of wearing all the same clothes.” She took her phone from her pocket and sent a quick text message to warn the recipient of their impending call. “C’mon,” Laura prodded as she took her cane from the car; “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

    “You know what I’m really craving?” Carmilla sighed wistfully.

    “Tropical chicken pizza from your favorite pizza joint in North Van?” Laura guessed with a smile as she led Carmilla in and over to the kitchen.

    “You think you know me so well,” Carmilla joked as she wrapped her arms around her from behind her and kissed her neck.

    Laura turned in her arms, regarded her a moment and then leaned in to kiss her softly. That, however, didn’t last long as the kiss deepened and Carmilla pushed her up against the counter, her hands sneaking under the back of Laura’s shirt. It was starting to look like dinner might be forgotten altogether when Laura’s phone vibrated in her pocket.

    “Um, Carm?” Laura sighed as Carmilla kissed and nibbled at her neck. “We still have a Skype call to make,” she said, her voice deep despite her sound reasoning. “And we both need to eat.”

    “I suppose,” Carmilla sighed and kissed her softly; “you’re right,” she finished with a kiss of Laura’s forehead. “What do we have to eat?”

    “Your favorite pizza and Sangria?” Laura suggested as she pushed her away and opened the fridge. “We just have to cook the pizza and add the wine and ice to the Sangria.”

    “You brought my favorite pizza from home?” Carmilla commented as she watched her take it from the fridge and feeling incredibly touched that Laura had gone through the trouble.

    “Laf and Perry came down a few weeks ago and tried just about every pizza place to find one close to what you like,” Laura explained as she turned the oven on and then took the pizza from the box and slid it onto a baking sheet. “And they told me they didn’t find anything. Me, Steven and Betty followed Nancy down on a commercial flight so I asked your new crew to bring it with them a few days ago.”

    “You’ve already replaced my jet?”

    “My, um, benefactor did,” Laura replied vaguely. “When I figured out Frank was, at the very least, sharing some information with Deanna, I decided it was best to replace the entire crew.” She smiled. “It’s a little newer than your old one but with all the same bells and whistles.” She turned back to the fridge and took out the Sangria and wine along with ice cubes from the freezer. “Want to get this ready while I go make that call?”

    “Sure,” Carmilla smiled as Laura kissed her cheek. “Laura?” she stopped her with a hand on her wrist. “I’m still not sure I really understand why you started all this, but, uh, thank you.”

    “Really?” Laura sighed in relief.

    “Yeah,” Carmilla smiled. “I realized yesterday, after talking to Perry, that it was never really you I was angry with.” She shook her head. “Not completely anyway.” She took her hands. “I mean yes, I’m upset you manipulated, lied and kept secrets from me, but I’m more angry that all this was necessary in the first place.” She kissed her. “But I also realize that if it weren’t for all this, we might never have met. And that,” she smiled, “would’ve been a far greater tragedy.”

    “Yeah?” Laura asked hopefully, her heart that had been dreading this moment for six weeks, finally lightening.

    “Do we still have some things to figure out?” Carmilla questioned. “Yes,” she smiled and kissed her. “But I’m not giving up on us, okay?”

    “Carm,” Laura sighed as tears ran down her face, “you don’t know...” she shook her head and pulled Carmilla into her arms. “I was so scared,” she kissed her. “I still am,” she sighed. “There’s still...”

    “And I feel pretty confident that if you can justify what you’ve done to yourself, than you can justify it to me,” Carmilla assured her. “Now,” she kissed her again, “go make that call so I can stop dying of curiosity.”

    Carmilla watched Laura walk over to the table, open her laptop and then turn it away from her. She shook her head and went to work on the Sangria until she heard a voice she thought she recognized coming from the laptop.

    She left the Sangria, wandered over to stand behind Laura and then stammered; “D... D... Danny?” when she recognized the redhead smiling back at her. “But you...”

    “Carm?” Danny interrupted as Carmilla took a seat in front of the laptop. “Don’t be too hard on her; she didn’t find out until after you went back to the show and very few people know I’m alive.” She shrugged. “I only woke up a week ago and I’ve been pretty out of it since then.”

    “But you’re okay?” Carmilla rushed out. “I mean, you’re going to be okay?” Danny nodded. “I don’t understand,” she looked at Laura; “You thought she was dead?”

    “I did,” Laura confirmed and sat beside her. “The doctors figure the dead parasites in Danny’s blood had made it so thick it kept her from bleeding out. I guess when I checked for Danny’s pulse it was so weak and I was so panicked, that I couldn’t find it.”

    “Laura saved my life,” Danny cut in.

    “If anyone did, it was Steven,” Laura corrected. “I’d given him my watch; you know the one you gave me?” Carmilla nodded. “I told him to break one of the GPS nodes at the first sign of trouble but he ignored my orders and called Rick before I even got inside.”

    “Which meant,” Danny continued; “that police and a medical crew were already on the way.” She looked between the two. “Look, Laura, I should’ve told this sooner but...” she rubbed her face. “Will contacted me the day before...”

    “What?!” Laura exclaimed.

    “I already told Rick everything but I wanted to tell you both at the same time,” Danny justified. “Will told me he was running away but needed a little cash to get going and asked me to meet him at my place.” She looked down. “He, uh, warned me not to tell anyone,” she shook her head. “I didn’t want to take Betty but I didn’t think he’d hurt her.”

    “Will was a very sick young man, Danny, you know that,” Laura reminded her and looked to Carmilla. “She talked to Will first the day I went to talk to him and watched my interview with him.” She took Carmilla’s hand. “I tried, baby, to help him but he didn’t want it.”

    “He even tried to attack her,” Danny added with a smile. “Sure made him regret that though,” she joked. “I don’t know if you noticed that night, but he was still sporting the shiner you gave him.”

    “What happened?”

    “He came after me, I kneed him between the legs and hit him with an elbow,” she shrugged. “It was just instinct.” She looked over to the oven and noticed it was hot enough to put the pizza in. “I’ll be back,” she kissed Carmilla on the cheek, “I’m going to put the pizza in and finish making the Sangria.”

    “Actually,” Danny spoke up; “Can you give us a few minutes?”

    “Um, sure,” Laura replied, stood and kissed the top of Carmilla’s head before heading to the kitchen.

    Carmilla watched her go and then turned back to a smiling Danny.

    “You look like hell Dru, you okay?” Danny joked.

    “Dru?” Carmilla laughed.

    “Like Drusilla from Buffy?” Danny teased.

    “Great,” Carmilla chuckled. “Psychotic vampire,” she joked and shook her head. “You though? You’re looking pretty good for a dead girl.”

    “Yeah,” Danny sighed. “They tell me it was really touch and go for a while.”

    “Danny?” Carmilla said, her throat closing unexpectedly. “I don’t think I can express how happy I am that you’re okay.”

    “Yeah,” Danny agreed; “I’m pretty psyched about it too.” She smiled when Carmilla chuckled. “Look, take it easy on Laura...”

    “You mentioned,” Carmilla replied.

    “She loves you Carm,” Danny said passionately. “So much, I don’t...” she shook her head. “She was a mess when you left for the show.”

    “She told me you took care of her?” Danny nodded and blushed. “Thank you.”

    “You’re, uh, welcome,” Danny looked back up to her. “Look, Carm, the day we went to talk to Will,” she fidgeted with her hands. “I knew she’d be watching, knew he’d bring it up to get under my skin...”

    “You told her about our chat?” Carmilla surmised.

    “Not all at once,” Danny admitted. “I, uh, told her I had feelings for you before you left and then...” she trailed off and regarded her a moment. “Did Dark really find you on the roof crying the night you kicked me out?” Carmilla nodded. “Anyway, Will told Laura that, so, I, um, told her about the rest of the conversation when we got home.”

    “Thank you,” Carmilla shook her head. “I didn’t get the chance to tell her before I left and then when I was home because...”

    “I died,” Danny finished for her.

    “I can’t believe you’re okay,” Carmilla shook her head. “Look, Danny, I still think you’d be safer away, and I really have no right to ask, but...”

    “I’m not going anywhere,” Danny assured her. “You and Laura are my friends, I care about you guys.”

    “I,” Carmilla sighed. “When I thought you were dead,” she swallowed the lump in her throat. “My biggest regret was that I wasted so much time not being your friend.”

    “Well,” Danny smiled, “I’m glad we get a second chance.”

    “Me too,” Carmilla smiled.

    “Promise me you’ll take it easy on her?”

    “Why is this so important to you?” Carmilla countered.

    “She’s spent the last six weeks terrified she’s going to lose you when you find out the truth,” Danny smiled. “Yes, she lied to us both about her age, her profession...”

    “Her fighting experience,” Carmilla continued to Danny’s surprise; “The fact that she’s been watching over me for so long.”

    “She told you?”

    “It’s crazy, right?” Carmilla laughed as she looked over to Laura.

    “She tell you why?”

    “Yes, but I’m still not sure I understand.”

    “You okay?” Danny asked as she motioned to Carmilla’s face.

    “It was...” she trailed off as Laura returned and put a glass of Sangria in front of her. “Stay?” Laura nodded. She looked back to Danny and continued; “She broke my nose at the end of the second round and triggered a flashback of the first time Deanna broke it.” She rubbed her eyes. “I barely remember the rest of the fight,” she admitted. “Every time I closed my eyes I saw a different image,” she confided, her voice low. “The bell rang and I just ran out there and knocked her out with a flying knee...”

    “Which Dana said was pretty epic,” Laura interjected proudly.

    “Next thing I know,” Carmilla continued after giving Laura a small smile to acknowledge the compliment; “I’m kneeling beside her but I’m not seeing her,” she closed her eyes. “I saw Deanna, the night we ran...” She looked at Laura. “I always thought it was Will who stopped me, but it was...”

    “Doctor Winchester,” Laura supplied.

    “You know?”

    “I, um, found her, so to speak,” Laura replied carefully, she wasn’t sure how Carmilla was going to react when she met Jan the next day. “She’s responsible for a lot of the evidence we have against Deanna and why I’m almost positive all the pictures were staged.”

    “Later,” Carmilla forestalled to Laura’s surprise. “What?” She laughed. “I’m exhausted, remember? And I’m starting to understand what a barrel of worms that is.” Laura chuckled. “But,” she grew serious; “you wanted to know why I said I’d forfeit before I’d let it happen again?” Laura nodded. “Because, in that split second between landing beside Randa, flashing back to that night and then back to reality?” She looked from Laura to Danny and back again. “I wanted to hurt her,” she sighed. “I wanted to snap her neck.” She admitted as she looked down. “The ref, he stopped me and then I started getting flashes of the pictures and bolted,” she looked back to Danny. “I didn’t stop until I got outside, fell to my knees and started throwing up. I couldn’t,” she took a shaky breath. “I couldn’t stop the images, it was...” She felt Laura take her hand and met her eyes. “And then Laura was there,” she reached out with her free hand and rubbed Laura’s cheek. “And I knew I was going to be okay,” she smiled. “I knew I was safe.”

    “I might have convinced Dana to let all the fighters have someone outside the gym waiting for them after already getting most of those people on the way there,” Laura explained without taking a breath. “Ethan had texted me the fight had started and then came running out to get me a little more than ten minutes later. He gave me a piggyback ride to where she was...” Laura shook her head. “You have no idea how badly you scared me,” she admitted shakily and looked back to Danny. “Most of her face was covered in blood and she was terrified,” she shook her head. “And I knew,” she said quietly and shrugged; “I knew you knew.”

    “And I understand why you didn’t tell me,” Carmilla assured her. “Why you waited until you knew for sure.”

    “You do?”

    “Given what happened today?” she asked. “Completely,” she said and looked back at Danny to catch her yawning. “We should let you go, it’s getting late.”

    “Yeah,” Danny agreed. “It’s the meds they have me on,” Danny smiled. “Have a good road trip. We’ll, uh, catch up when you get home?”

    “Danny?” Carmilla stalled her as Danny was reaching to end the call. “I’m really glad you’re okay,” she smiled. “Like, way happier than I ever thought I could be,” she shook her head. “I wish you were here so I could hug you and prove this is real.”

    “Hug Laura for me,” Danny suggested with a wink.

    “That I can do,” Carmilla smiled. “We’ll talk soon.” Laura closed the laptop, pushed Carmilla’s Sangria towards her and then led her back to the kitchen once she’d picked it up. “How much does Danny know?” she asked as Laura checked on the pizza.

    “You’re almost caught up to her,” Laura replied and took a sip of her Sangria as she glanced at her closed laptop. “Do we, uh, do we need to talk about Danny?”

    “Do we?” Carmilla answered and took a sip of her drink. “She told me that she told you about our chat,” she smiled. “Nothing happened between us,” Carmilla assured her and took her free hand. “We only admitted our feelings the night before I left.” Laura had looked down so Carmilla put her Sangria down and lifted her chin with her finger. “I care about Danny, I do,” she admitted. “But when I thought she was dead, what I regretted most was not being a better friend to her.” She kissed her softly. “Nothing more.”

    “I’d, uh, understand,” Laura looked down again. “If, you know, you’d rather be with her.” She looked up when she heard Carmilla chuckle. “What? Being with her would be less complicated,” she reasoned.

    “Maybe,” Carmilla agreed. “Or maybe I’d rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else.” She took Laura’s glass and put it aside so she could take both of her hands. “I’d rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself.” She smiled as Laura’s tear filled eyes met her own. “I’d rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart.” She kissed her cheek and then whispered; “I’d rather have the one who holds my heart and has been keeping it safe for longer than I could have ever fathomed.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shocked? In a way I hope so but I feel like you guys should have seen this coming ;-). Also that last quote, though slightly altered, isn’t mine. I saw it on Facebook and is from the song “I’d Rather,” by Luther Vandross.


	27. Matters of Family

Carmilla stretched as she woke the next morning, rubbed her face and immediately regretted it; most of her face still hurt. She turned on her side toward a still sleeping Laura and sighed; she was pretty sure she'd fallen asleep as Laura was kissing her way down her body. She reached out and slowly pulled the blanket from her sleeping girlfriend, frowning when she noticed several large, but almost faded, bruises on her back.

"When I met you," she thought as she traced one lightly with her fingertips. "You only had the one scar." She sighed and kissed the bruise. "She tried to take you from me before we even met," she all but whispered; she knew Laura was awake as she'd shivered slightly when she'd kissed her back and her breathing had changed. "I almost lost you again when you broke your arm," she continued after kissing the next bruise. "She could've taken us both out at any moment in that ticking time bomb of a Jeep." Laura chuckled and sighed as Carmilla kissed a bruise on her lower back. "And now I find out she tried to take you from me four times in the last six weeks?" She said as she ran a hand lightly up Laura's sides and laid back down beside her. "I'm never letting you out of my sight for that long ever again." She moved Laura's hair from her face as the blonde turned her head towards her. "I fell asleep, didn't I?" Carmilla asked with a blush.

"It's okay," Laura smiled and turned on her side so she could kiss her. "I didn't get that far before I noticed."

"Just," she leaned in and kissed her neck; "how far did you get?" she teased.

"I stopped when you didn't react to this," Laura provided before taking a nipple in her mouth.

"But I so like it when you do that," Carmilla lamented with a sigh. "I'm sorry I fell asleep."

"Don't be," Laura smiled and kissed her. "I was asleep shortly after."

"It's just..."

"It was a long day?" Laura offered.

"I don't know that I've ever felt that tired," Carmilla admitted. "On every level; physically, emotionally, mentally..."

"How are you feeling now?"

"Physically better," she shrugged. "The only thing that hurts from the fight is my face and even that isn't too bad if I don't touch my nose."

"Shit," Laura sighed and reached to take the bandage from her eyebrow. "Were you drinking a little more than usual this week?"

"Maybe," Carmilla replied as she studied Laura as she regarded her. "Why?"

"Did you have trouble making weight?"

"No, I was way under," Carmilla eyed her a moment. "Laura, what's wrong?"

"Your eyebrow has healed to the point of not needing stitches anymore," she stated.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"It means Laf needs to go back to the drawing board," she shook her head, sat up and rubbed her face. "Carm," she sighed; "there's something I need to tell you and I hope you'll understand."

"What did you do?" Carmilla asked, concerned at the look of guilt on Laura's face.

"It's not what I did, exactly, but what Deanna did, that might make you view what I did differently," Laura explained but smiled briefly when Carmilla took her hand. "She was drugging you, all of you; your parents, Will, you. We have no idea how long but we suspect from the time Deanna went to work for your dad."

"That doesn't explain why you look so guilty," Carmilla prodded gently.

"Laf has done a lot of work with Deanna's parasite," she supplied. "They've," she waved her free hand around as she searched for the right word; "reverse engineered it. Instead of being harmful it speeds up the healing process and targets what's of most importance."

"How many times have you dosed me?" Carmilla laughed.

"You're not angry?" Laura deflected.

"Not yet," Carmilla frowned. "Should I be?"

"I think," Laura stalled. "I think it's responsible for what you remembered and why you've been having such a hard time keeping your weight up."

"Or, you know, my weight could have something to do with everything I ate all week going straight through me," Carmilla countered. "As it often does the week before a fight," she reminded her.

"I'd have considered that if I hadn't almost tripled the protein in your shakes," Laura differed. "Here's the thing, Laf's bugs are supposed to have a limited life cycle; typically twenty-four to thirty-six hours depending on the health of the subject and the nature of the injury. Laf's bug feeds off toxins and other impurities in the blood. For someone who eats fairly healthy and doesn't drink or smoke very much, they should die off fairly quickly. However I suspect two things might be happening; one) you extended their lifespan by drinking alcohol and/or two) like they did with me, they went after the very little body fat you have because of the severity of the injury."

"And you think I'll be angry you helped me heal faster because Deanna drugged me?" Carmilla questioned and received Laura's nod. "I'm not sure how I feel about receiving an unfair advantage, let alone one I didn't know about, but no, I'm not angry." She studied Laura a moment. "I was thinking about the gaps in my memory yesterday and how I'm pretty sure a lot of the stuff I can't remember is probably due to the multiple head injuries I received." She smiled. "You dosed me on Monday, didn't you?"

"I did and since your migraine was the most pressing issue..."

"I remembered," Carmilla finished for her.

"We don't have to talk about it," Laura squeezed her hand. "If you're not ready."

"How many?" Carmilla met her eyes. "You never told me how many there were."

"Seventy, that we've counted so far, but she reused the naked pictures of you, so that part happened, maybe three times a year," Laura said quickly despite the growing look of dismay on her girlfriend's face. "The number dropped off significantly after you turned sixteen."

"And you said you have definitive proof the pictures I saw were altered?" Carmilla asked, surprised her voice was steady despite feeling like an eleven year old.

"Aside from finding the originals," Laura supplied as she rubbed her back. "I, um, know you weren't very fond of Doctor Winchester," Carmilla looked at her and frowned. "She was on your side."

"But she never..."

"An ounce of kindness or compassion would have kept her from helping you or cost Jan her life," Laura countered; she was worried how Carmilla was going to react to meeting Jan, let alone finding out she was married to her mother. "She got you and Will off the drugs, gathered invaluable evidence and even managed to get video evidence of what Deanna was subjecting you to," she provided to Carmilla's ever growing look of shock. "Deanna had her drugs pretty much down to a science," Laura explained. "What she didn't account for was one of her targets OD'ing when what she gave her reacted to what was already in her system. Deanna called Jan..."

"Jan?" Carmilla interrupted.

"Doctor Jan Cochran," Laura provided. "I met her the day I got the blueprints," she smiled. "But I didn't realize who she was until I went through the evidence she gave me. Anyway," Laura continued before Carmilla could question why Jan would be up at the cabin in the first place; "she gave Deanna an ultimatum..."

"That's ballsy," Carmilla interjected.

"Well, if Deanna had them, Jan had her by them," Laura joked. "She managed to save the target but told Deanna she'd only stay quiet if she was allowed to monitor it the next time."

"And Deanna agreed?" she blurted.

"Of course not," Laura shook her head. "But she did agree to have Jan nearby every time she brought a target over." She smiled. "Deanna had to take her down into the basement so Jan knew, whatever was going on, was going on there. The first chance she got, she snuck in and put cameras in all four rooms." Laura sighed. "The video evidence is almost as shocking as it is damning."

"You've watched it?" Carmilla asked, unsure as she often was lately if she wanted to know the answer.

"Not all of it," Laura admitted. "I couldn't." She looked at her. "I don't think you should either."

"You said you know a bit about what happened the day I found the pictures?" Carmilla asked.

"Like I said, Will told me when I interviewed him," Laura said carefully. "Carm?" She squeezed her hand. "He went to find you when it got quiet."

"He saw her beating me?" she guessed.

"Worse," Laura corrected. "Deanna caught him watching and threatened him; use the belt on you or she'd use it on him."

"Mitigated violence," Carmilla chuckled.

"Excuse me?"

"Something I told Bec yesterday," she explained. "Deanna was always very careful about not crossing the line. You know, keeping the bruising where it wouldn't be seen or not hurt me so bad it sent me to the hospital." She leaned over and kissed her cheek. "You know I'm starting to think if you hadn't killed Will, I would have."

"That's not funny."

"I wasn't joking," Carmilla replied seriously. "I loved him, he was my little brother, but I could never forgive him for the things he did." She kissed her cheek again. "I'm sorry you feel badly that you killed him but I'm not sorry he's dead."

"Carm," she sighed. "I'm not saying this to defend him, the things he did are indefensible, but he was sick." She shook her head. "In some ways I think the drugs Deanna had him on actually kept him under control."

"I was wondering, yesterday, if maybe that whole thing was a trap," Carmilla commented as she got out of bed. "Because, in all the times I dusted Deanna's office I never once found that bookcase."

"That's probably because there was a complicated locking mechanism on it," Laura supplied. "You think Deanna meant for you to find the pictures?"

"No," she replied and turned to her. "I think she meant for Will to find me finding them." She smiled. "Where are my clothes?"

"That bureau," Laura said as she pointed to it. "You'll find everything where you normally keep it at home."

"I know what you're doing," Carmilla taunted, her tone light.

"What are..."

"Trying to make me feel like I couldn't possibly live without you," she interrupted as she took Laura in her arms and kissed her neck.

"Carm, that's not..."

"Joke's on you," she said as she turned her and then kissed her. "I haven't been able to live without you since I met you." She pushed her back into the other bureau and then lifted her up onto it as she kissed her again.

"I like taking care of you," Laura sighed as Carmilla kissed down her neck and she looked at the clock. "But babe?" Carmilla met her eyes. "We really slept in, and," she inhaled deeply; "I think our guests are making us lunch."

"Okay, but," she kissed her briefly. "Let's go for a swim after lunch and then spend the rest of the afternoon in bed?" she suggested.

"Sure, if you still want to after you've met them," Laura replied as she pushed her away so she could get off the bureau.

"If you're so worried about how I'm going to react," she started as she hugged Laura from behind; "why not just tell me?"

"Because I can't  _'just tell you'_ ," Laura sighed. "It's..." she shook her head; "complicated."

"Fine," she kissed the back of Laura's neck. "You brought me a swimsuit?" she asked as she walked over to her bureau.

"I got you some new stuff and brought you a few things from home," Laura supplied. "And yes, I brought you a couple of swimsuits."

"Thanks Pup," Carmilla said fondly as she found a bikini, pair of shorts and one of her gym's tank tops. "Just," she turned to her; "if I do get angry about anything," she walked over to her and turned her to meet her eyes; "I don't want you to think I'm not grateful for everything you've done for me." She moved Laura's hair behind her ear. "You might be the first person who's ever put me ahead of themselves," she frowned and looked down. "I'm not sure I'll ever really understand why, but," she looked back up. "I do appreciate it."

"You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that," Laura smiled and kissed her. "But I'm not the first person to help you," she pointed out. "I'm just the first person to make any real headway and the first you've known about." She kissed her briefly and then pushed her away so he could slip into her swimsuit, shorts and t-shirt. "Let me, uh, go talk to them first. I don't want you to be overwhelmed."

"Little late for that, don't you think?" Carmilla teased.

"I know," Laura admitted. "But, in a few hours, maybe less, you'll know almost everything." She watched her girlfriend slip into her swimsuit and then walked over and took her in her arms. "After that, you can read my journal and see I meant to tell you everything anyway." She sighed as Carmilla kissed her neck. "And there's some stuff in there I don't have the courage to talk about aloud." Carmilla met her eyes. "You'll know me better than anyone."

"We're going to be okay," she kissed her softly. "I can't promise I won't get angry, but I can promise we'll get through this."

"I love you," Laura said softly. "As long as you believe that," she smiled. "Then, yeah, I think we'll be okay."

"I love you too, Pup," she smiled and kissed her. "Actions have always spoken louder to me than words," she stroked her cheek. "The way you've been taking care of me? Everything you've done for me before we met and since?" She shook her head. "If you didn't mean every word? Every action?" She sighed. "If all that was so you could use me and break my heart?" She smiled. "You'd be more evil than Deanna." She pulled her into her arms and kissed her. "And even though I don't know everything about you," she sighed. "I know you're not evil."

"That's a start," Laura replied. "I should, uh..."

"Go," she kissed her.

Laura walked out of the bedroom and found Bill, Carmen and Jan cooking in the kitchen. "You're early," she commented as she went to make herself and Carmilla coffee.

"The kids wanted to go swimming," Bill replied. "Nice to see you without a weapon for a change."

"It's early yet," Laura joked as she grabbed the Bailey's from the fridge. "I think it would be best if she not have to deal with all you at the same time. She, uh," she shook her head as poured the Bailey's; "she had a bit of meltdown during, and after, her fight yesterday."

"Did she win?" Bill interrupted.

"I tell you your daughter had a meltdown and that's the first thing you ask?" she deflected tersely.

"Is she okay?" Carmen asked.

"She will be," she sighed and turned back to them. "She had flashes of the day she found the pictures and then, near the end, the night she almost killed Deanna."

"She knows I was there?" Jan surmised.

"She does," Laura smiled. "And she knows you were there to help her but not why." She looked between Carmen and Jan. "Maybe you can take the kids back to the pool house? Give Carm at least ten or fifteen minutes so she can digest him first?"

"Whatever you think is best," Carmen said as she rubbed Laura's arm. "You know her better than we do." She smiled. "Why don't you text us when you're ready for us to come back?"

"Sounds good," Laura smiled as Carmen hugged her briefly and then took Jan's hand and led her back outside. She looked back to Bill and shook her head. "She won."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "Apparently it was so epic Dana offered to have the finale in Vancouver."

"Seriously?" he asked, sounding impressed.

"We have to meet him tomorrow," Laura informed him. "He wants Carm to watch the fight and explain what's going on." She shook her head. "Look, she's..." she sighed. "She's doing okay, but..."

"You're worried how she's going to react?"

"You're not?" she countered.

"Should I be?"

"Yes," she replied simply. "Between what she remembered and what I've told her since," she rubbed her face. "She's already so angry." She looked to the bedroom. "She's not acting it, but I'm afraid it might not take much to set her off."

"So what do I do?"

"If she yells at you or hits you, let her," she suggested. "And set the table." He nodded. "I'll go get her."

Laura set the cups of coffee on the dining room table as she didn't think it would be a good idea for Carmilla to have boiling liquid in her hand when she saw her father for the first time, entered the bedroom and called for Carmilla when she didn't find her.

"In the bathroom!" she called back.

Laura walked into the bathroom and found that Carmilla had taken out her braids while she waited and was studying herself in the mirror.

"Can you explain something about this bug?" Carmilla asked and received Laura's nod. "Why is my cut all but healed but my nose and eye look just as bad?"

"Because the bug prioritizes the risk of infection," Laura supplied and dropped her shorts. "Go ahead, check my cut."

Carmilla knelt down behind her and took the bandage from Laura's leg.

"It, uh, looks the same as it did last night," Carmilla informed her.

"My bugs must have finally died off," Laura sighed and took a waterproof bandage from the medicine cabinet. "Could you?" She asked as she handed it to her. "I'd like to go for a swim with you."

"Sure," Carmilla smiled and put the fresh bandage on.

"You cut your hair again," Laura commented as she stood and ran her hands through Carmilla's hair.

"I didn't think you noticed last time," Carmilla teased.

"It wasn't as noticeable as this," she smiled. "But yes, I noticed."

"It's okay," Carmilla smiled. "We were a little distracted." She kissed her softly. "Shall we get this over with?" Laura nodded, pulled her shorts back up and then took her hand and led her through the bedroom and into the living room.

Carmilla looked around and found an unfamiliar man at the dining room table with his back to them. Laura cleared her throat to get his attention and then waited for Carmilla to recognize him when he turned to them.

"D... D... Daddy?" Carmilla stuttered as her grip on Laura's hand tightened.

"Hey Millie," he replied sheepishly and looked down.

"How long have you known?" she asked Laura, her tone neutral despite the anger she was feeling.

"He came to warn me about the Jeep," Laura supplied.

"So, he's Dobby?" Laura nodded. "And that's why you were acting so weird that day?" Laura blushed and nodded again. She let Laura's hand go, rubbed her face and then ran her hands through her hair as she walked away. "So, what? He's been living at the cabin this whole time?"

"A bunker inside the mountain," her father replied. "Please, honey, let me explain."

She walked over to him and hit him with a hard right cross. "What." She hit him with a left. "The." She punched him in the stomach. "Actual." She backhanded him hard across the face. "Fuck!"

"Carm!" Laura grabbed her hand before she could hit him again.

"No!" she hissed as she tore her arm from Laura's grip. "He did this!" she yelled. "He left us with her!" She shrieked. "What did you do?" She yelled at him. "Fake your death so you could start over without us?"

"Please, Honey..."

"No!" She backhanded him again. "You don't get to call me that! You don't get to show up and act like the father you never were in the first place!"

"That's not fair..."

"It's totally fair," Laura differed calmly. "You missed everything she was doing to her before you 'died' and then disappeared on her."

"You abandoned us!" Carmilla accused.

"I didn't," he said quietly and shook his head. "I didn't mean to."

"Didn't..." she ran her hands roughly through her hair. "Fine!" she hissed and took a seat at the table. "Explain," she ordered.

Laura sat down next to her and pushed her coffee in front of her.

"Can I..." Bill motioned to a chair.

"Whatever," Carmilla dismissed and took a sip of her coffee.

"Good?" Laura asked.

"Bailey's with a hint of coffee," Carmilla smiled and kissed Laura's cheek. "It's perfect, thank you." She glared at her father. "Out with it."

"I didn't," he sighed. "I didn't know what she was doing." Carmilla scoffed. "It's not like you told me," he pointed out.

"Told you?" she laughed. "You're the adult! You were supposed to protect me!"

"Carm?" Laura said carefully and waited for her to turn to her. "I'm the last person to defend your father, trust me, but he was being drugged too." Carmilla regarded her a moment. "And you yourself said she was very subtle about it until he left."

"That still doesn't..." Carmilla ran her hands through her hair again. "Why did you fake your death?"

"Because by the time I found a doctor who figured out what was wrong with me," he sighed. "He told me he wasn't sure I'd survive the cure. I, uh, almost didn't."

"You left us with her even though you knew she was trying to kill you?" she mocked.

"I didn't though, not for sure," he defended. "Frank didn't even know I was alive for the first couple of years and then when I contacted him, he told me he didn't think it was safe for me to come back."

"So you..." she stood from the table and walked away. "It wasn't safe for you but you thought we were safe with her?" she taunted. "I couldn't say anything!" she yelled at him. "She started threatening me the minute she was alone with me for the first time! I have spent my life trying to protect Will! Trying to protect the few friends I've made since I've run away! And you, what? You've been hiding all this time?" She wanted to hit something. Break something. "She used me as human puppet in her blackmailing schemes! Beat me to within an inch of death more times than I can remember. Literally!" she yelled. "And you're what?" she mocked. "Sorry?" She regarded him a moment. "Get out!"

"But..."

"No!" she cut him off. "Do what you do best, leave!"

Bill looked at Laura.

"Don't look at me," she dismissed. "I did warn you."

"Fine," he sighed, defeated. "Should I tell them..."

"I'll text them when she's ready," Laura reminded him.

He studied his daughter a moment and then walked over to the patio door.

"Millie..."

"Don't," she warned.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't know, I really didn't." He shook his head. "I should have, I know. But," he sighed; "I'm just," he shook his head again. "I'm sorry and I won't stop trying to earn your forgiveness."

"Go," Carmilla choked out and fell back into her chair at the table.

"Hey," Laura said as she rubbed her back; "you okay?"

"No," she sniffed and winced. She leaned over and kissed Laura's cheek. "I'm not mad at you."

"You're not?"

"Of all the secrets you've told me so far," Carmilla replied and took a long swallow of her coffee before continuing; "this one I get." She sighed. "How is it safe for him to be here?"

"Benefits of a private jet," Laura commented, echoing the clinic's doctor from the night before. "And they're coming out of the coffin when we get home, so..."

"They?" Carmilla interjected.

"Yes, they," Laura smiled. "You ready to meet them?"

"Depends," Carmilla smiled; "am I going to get even angrier?"

"I don't know," Laura sighed. "Look, your dad..."

"You don't like him very much, do you?" Carmilla guessed.

"My dad and I call him 'Asshat' in mixed company." Carmilla chuckled at Laura's joke. "He's..." she sighed. "He's charming and he does love you but he's a coward." She took Carmilla's free hand. "He is trying though, to make things right."

"Yeah?" she laughed derisively. "How exactly is he 'trying' to do that?"

"He was partially responsible for Jan going to help you," she shrugged. "And he has been funding our operations, and um, you haven't paid for anything in over three months."

"Excuse me?"

"This house, the renovations at the gym, you're new gym up at the cabin," Laura listed. "Your new Jeep and the Jeeps here."

"So, what?" Carmilla scoffed. "He thinks spending money on me will erase everything Deanna did to me?"

"What is it you told your cast mates yesterday?" Laura countered, surprising her. "That money was your only tangible way to thank them?"

"It's not the same," Carmilla said bitterly.

"And I'm not suggesting it is," Laura soothed. "But he knows there's probably nothing he can ever do to make up for all the ways he's failed you, so he's doing the only thing he can; taking care of you financially." She squeezed her hand. "Trust me; the last couple of weeks have cost him dearly."

"He paid for the clinic?" Laura nodded.

"He also picked up the tab for the all the overtime Vegas PD has been putting in after we shut down the area around the house, gym and clinic," she supplied and smiled. "I, uh, wasn't more than fifteen minutes away from you for at least eight to ten hours a day since Tuesday."

"You're joking," she laughed.

"No," Laura smiled. "I was in the next room on Monday night and the doctor, he wanted me to stay for a few days but I told him I'd get far more rest sitting in a car outside the house or gym than I would at the hospital, or at home, worrying about you." She stroked Carmilla's knuckles with her thumb. "I think you'll like the other people here to see you."

"That your way of asking if I'm ready to meet them?" Carmilla asked as she started filling her plate. "If it gets us one step closer to being alone for the rest of the day, I am."

Laura kissed her temple and then went to get her phone. Once she'd texted Carmen she sat back down next to her and started filling her own plate.

"So tell me about this road trip we're taking," Carmilla said conversationally.

"Well," Laura smiled; "we're going for our tattoos tomorrow morning, if, um, you still want to."

"I do if you do," Carmilla smiled and kissed her cheek.

"I do," Laura grinned. "Then we have to meet with Dana. I thought we could take a dose of Laf's bug Sunday night and get a really good night's sleep and then head out Monday morning."

"Where to?"

"Well I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon and it's only a few hours from here," Laura started. "I know how much you like the water so I found us a campsite..."

"Camping? Seriously?"

"What?" Laura chuckled. "You too good to go camping?" she teased.

"No, I just don't see how it's safe to be in the middle of nowhere," Carmilla countered.

"We won't be in the middle of nowhere and the Xanders are going to set up motion sensors around the camp so we'll know if anything bigger than a raccoon comes anywhere near us," Laura supplied. "And they'll be watching our backs twenty-four seven."

"Doesn't seem fair," Carmilla countered.

"It's not as bad as it sounds," Laura dismissed. "They'll be taking the trailer, the one they're staying in at the gate..."

"How will that work if someone comes after us on the road?" Carmilla interjected.

"Laf rigged something to the trailer hitch," Laura explained as she heard the patio door opened. "It'll release at the press of a button."

Carmilla turned to the patio door and was speechless; she recognized Jan, of course, but the woman holding her hand could only be one person even if she hadn't laid eyes on her since she was three.

"Mom?" she choked out as she walked over and into her waiting arms. She laid her head on her mother's shoulder and started to weep.

"It's okay, baby girl, I got you," Carmen cooed as she rubbed her back.

"I don't..." she stepped back and saw that her mother was crying too. "How is this possible?"

"C'mon," Carmen motioned to the couches. "It's a long story." She looked to Laura. "I think I figured something out that you might be interested in."

"Really?" Laura asked as she sat down next to Carmilla on the couch, Jan and Carmen taking the one across from them.

"Yes," Carmen glanced at Jan as she took her hand in support. "But we'll get to that." She looked back to Carmilla. "I can't believe how beautiful you are."

"Broken nose and all," Carmilla joked. "I can't," she shook her head. "Dad always said how much we look alike." She looked at Carmen and Jan's joined hands. "Is that," she pointed to their hands; "why you tried to help me?"

"We'll, uh, get to that too," Carmen stalled and looked to Laura. "I've talked to Bill, you were right; your father had nothing to do with it." She looked back to Carmilla. "Laura told you a bit about what happened the night of my car accident?" Carmilla nodded.

"Not, um, what you told me when we first met," Laura qualified.

"Right," Carmen sighed. "I was scared, paranoid actually, and I went to see Laura's dad and asked him to run away with me, you and your brother." She smiled at Carmilla's look of shock. "He refused and I left in anger but he was worried about me and followed me. I was run off the road and Mark took off after the other car. He called Bill while he was still in pursuit; Bill came and got me out of the wreckage before emergency crews showed up." She shook her head. "I only have his word about what happened next." She sighed. "I was okay except for a nasty head injury. Bill got me to a private clinic, had me admitted under another name, but the doctors didn't think I'd ever wake up." She shrugged. "He had me moved to a small private clinic in Austria where, when I finally woke up a year later, I found this beautiful woman watching over me." She looked at Jan fondly. "But I didn't remember anything. Not who I was, where I'd come from, how I'd ended up there... nothing."

"She'd been checked in under an assumed name," Jan supplied. "We knew nothing about her but a few months later she received a package containing everything she needed to start a new life."

"So that's what I did," Carmen continued. "Jan helped me through my recovery and then helped me get settled." She smiled. "We became friends and then one thing led to another." She sighed. "We were happy."

"And then one night we were watching a movie," Jan continued for her, "and she recognized Canada Place."

"All of a sudden I had this need to visit Vancouver," Carmen smiled. "It had been almost six years and until then I'd only remembered bits and pieces."

"But I looked at her," Jan shook her head. "And she had this look on her face and I just knew it was something she needed to do." She looked at Laura. "I'm guessing you have just as hard a time saying 'no'?"

"Sometimes," Laura laughed.

"To be fair," Carmilla kissed Laura's cheek; "I have just as hard a time saying 'no' to her."

"Anyway," Carmen laughed and playfully slapped Jan's arm; "we got on the first flight to Vancouver, and," she sobered; "as soon as I saw the mountains it all came rushing back to me. Your father, Will, you, everything..."

"She was a mess," Jan supplied. "By the time we got to the airport she was barely holding it together so I got us a hotel room." She stroked her cheek. "She was so upset she couldn't talk," she shook her head. "She cried herself to sleep."

"I woke up a few hours later and started to do some research online," Carmen continued quietly. "I didn't see any pictures of Deanna but the ones I found of the three of you..." she exhaled shakily. "I thought; 'What right do I have to disturb their happy lives?'" She looked at Jan. "And I couldn't imagine my life without Jan."

"By the time I woke up she already had us booked on a flight home," Jan smiled. "We didn't talk about it again until we found an article about your father's death about a year after it happened."

"So I talked Jan into coming back to Vancouver so we could visit the cabin and say goodbye," Carmen smiled wistfully. "I always loved the cabin." She shook her head. "Imagine my surprise when I got there and found the place completely fenced in and Kenny coming to see me at the gate. It took some convincing before he believed I was who I said I was but eventually he took me in to see your dad."

"We spent the next couple of years getting him back on his feet and made him contact Frank so we could find out what was going on..."

"So Frank didn't know, initially, that Bill was alive?" Laura questioned.

"No, only Kenny and Bill's doctor," Carmen affirmed. "And I don't think Frank knew about me or Jan." She shook her head. "Frank had..."

"Some concerns about your well-being so the three of us it talked it over and decided that I would try to find out what was going on," Jan finished for her. "I'm sorry, Carmilla, for how I treated you, but it was so difficult to get into a position where I could help you that I couldn't risk her finding out. Especially when I figured out what she was doing to you."

"Laura mentioned you collected a bunch of evidence?" Carmilla asked and received Jan's nod. "You put your life on the line to help me," Carmilla replied as she stood and went to give Jan a hug. "Thank you." She stood straight again. "But you shouldn't have stopped me that night." She sat back next to Laura. "You should've let me end her."

"Perhaps," Jan conceded. "But if I had you might not be where you are now," she smiled. "And it is so nice to see you happy."

"Speaking of 'happy'," Carmilla started as she went to sip her coffee and realized it was empty; "what's the deal with the three of you?"

Jan and Carmen shared a look before looking back to them.

"Laura," Carmen sighed. "I'm sorry, but what we told you, when we saw you, we thought it was true and I guess we didn't want to admit ourselves that it wasn't."

"What do you mean?" Laura asked as she noticed Carmilla's empty cup. Before Carmen could respond, she took Carmilla's cup and asked if she'd like another.

"I think something a little stronger might be called for," Carmilla joked.

"Patron?" Laura suggested.

"Not that strong," Carmilla chuckled. "How about rum and pineapple juice if we have it?"

"Pretty sure we do," Laura commented as she made her way over to the bar. "I asked Perry to fully stock the bar with all of your favorites." She looked over to Jan and Carmen. "Can I get you guys anything?"

"Rum and pineapple juice sounds good to me," Carmen replied. "Especially given what I have to tell you." She sighed and looked at Jan. "Laura, we, uh, lied to you because I was ashamed of how Thomas was conceived and we'd planned to tell you about the kids."

"Kids?" Carmilla queried.

"I only found about them yesterday," Laura supplied when Carmilla looked at her.

"Once we met Laura, and given what happened on her ride up to the cabin, we decided it best to not have her have another secret to keep," Jan explained.

"There's the oldest, Thomas, he's seven, and then Robert and Rose, they're both almost three," Carmen replied. "Thomas wasn't a mistake but what led to his conception was," she sighed as Jan took her hand. "Jan had already been away for a couple of years helping you and one night your father and I got to drinking and reminiscing."

"Rarely a good combination," Laura teased as she returned with a pitcher and four glasses.

"Very true," Carmen chuckled. "Bill and I…" she shook her head. "We were never really more than affectionate friends even when we were married." She looked at Jan and smiled when she kissed her cheek. "Fortunately Jan had always wanted kids and forgave my indiscretion but when she came to live at the cabin she expressed the desire to have a child of her own." She smiled again. "We each had an egg fertilized by your father and then carried each other's child."

"Guess you have more than looks in common," Laura commented to Carmen and Jan's bemusement. "We talked about having kids someday and Carm said that, ideally, that's what she'd like to do."

"So I have two full siblings and a half sibling I didn't know about?" Carmilla asked. "God, when I woke up this morning I was an orphan with no blood family left and now I find out…"

"That both your parents are alive and you have siblings?" Carmen finished for her. "Can I ask, though, why are you so angry with your father but not me?"

"You didn't have a choice," Carmilla replied quietly. "He did." She shook her head. "He was there and didn't protect me. He left and left me and Will in that psychopath's care." She could feel her fury at her father returning to the surface. "Deanna may have committed the crimes, but he's equally to blame."

"Maybe," Carmen sighed and looked at Jan as her wife rubbed her back in support. "But it's not his fault this all started," she paused and looked down. "It's mine."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to all my beautiful readers for taking the time to comment on the last chapter. I was a little worried how you all were going to take the first of many plot twists coming your way so I appreciate the feedback. I don't know how long I'm going to manage to keep posting weekly but I'm trying ;-). I am, however, planning to take a little break when this book is finished to plan and contemplate the next. Yes folks, there's still going to be a third part, tentatively titled 'Return to Grace'.


	28. The Morgans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who has taken the time over the last few chapters to comment. With all the big surprises and twists coming your way I really do appreciate the feedback.

Laura and Carmilla shared a glance before Carmilla looked to her mother and commented; "I hardly see how that's possible since, you know, you were dead when it started."

"You assume this started with you," Carmen replied quietly as Jan pulled her into her side. "I only just figured it out myself yesterday when I saw Deanna on the news."

"Why was she on the news?" Laura questioned.

"Rick announced her arrest, the laundry list of charges against her and that she'll remain in custody until trial," Jan supplied.

"Shit," Laura hissed as she took her phone from her pocket to call Rick. "He was supposed to wait until Monday."

"You might want to hold off on that call until you hear what she has to say," Jan suggested.

Carmilla and Laura shared another glance as they waited for Carmen to explain.

"You see, this started long before I met either of your fathers," she sighed. "When I was nine my parents hired a babysitter for me. They were working weird shifts and it meant I'd be home alone for a few hours after school each day." She chuckled. "I didn't even realize she was my babysitter until I saw my dad paying her one day." She shook her head. "Lena would meet me after school every day and walk home with me. We'd do our homework, she'd make us dinner and then we'd watch TV until my mom got home." She smiled. "Lena was beautiful, smart, witty, kind and five years older than me, but I didn't care." She blushed. "Even at the tender age of nine, I had a crush on her, though I didn't know it at the time. My parents eventually got better shifts, so technically they didn't need her anymore, but since my grades were improving, they kept her on as my tutor.

"That went on for a couple of years until one night my parents asked her to spend the night so they could celebrate their anniversary in the city. You know; dinner, dancing and a hotel afterward." She shook her head and looked off to the distance. "We were watching a movie after dinner and I guess I fell asleep on the couch 'cause Lena carried me up to bed. I woke up and asked her to stay until I fell back asleep because it was the first time my parents had spent the night away." She rubbed her face. "She sat down on the bed next to me and ran her hands through my hair until I drifted off. I guess she fell asleep too because the next thing I knew we were getting rudely woken by my parents getting home in the morning.

"I tried to tell them nothing happened but Lena had laid down beside me and I had my head on her shoulder so they didn't believe me." She shook her head. "They chased her out of the house, yelling the whole time that she had 'defiled me', that she was 'going to hell' and to 'never darken their door again'. They sent me to every homophobic therapist they could find and even sent me to an anti-gay camp. I was eleven." Laura and Carmilla shared a glance. "Shortly after, they both lost their jobs and couldn't seem to find work anywhere so we moved to Laura's hometown for a fresh start about six months later. When I was fourteen I left school one day to find Lena waiting for me. I told your dad," she looked at Laura; "that it was okay and he could go on ahead.

"She told me that she'd been trying to find me ever since we moved and that she had just broken up with her girlfriend." She shrugged. "We got close, affectionate even, and I started falling hard. About a year later my parents again decided to celebrate their anniversary in Vancouver but they told me they thought I was old enough to spend the night alone so I asked her to come over." Carmen smiled for the first time. "I seduced her, in my awkward fifteen year old way. She resisted at first, I mean, she was almost twenty and I'd just turned fifteen, but I persisted." She shook her head and wiped a tear away. "It was amazing. Everything you could hope for, for a first time, until my parents walked in with the cops."

"You think your parents suspected?" Carmilla asked despite being unsure why her mother was telling them her, albeit sad, story.

"Why else would they have the cops with them?" Jan reasoned.

"They arrested her for statutory rape," Carmen sniffed. "She was killed in jail before it even made it to trial." She shook her head. "My parents again sent me to a homophobic therapist who tried to convince me that what she'd done was wrong; not just because of our ages but because she was a women. Every time a therapist told my parents they weren't making any progress they sent me to another one. Finally I wised up and said what they wanted to hear." She took a long swallow of her drink. "I met your father when I was seventeen." She smiled at Carmilla. "He was charming, kind, generous to a fault," she shrugged. "Everything a 'good catholic girl' could ever want." She chuckled. "My parents were so over the moon they agreed immediately when Bill asked for my hand in marriage. His parents, on the other hand, weren't as thrilled." She finished her drink and waited for Jan to refill her glass before she continued. "Our engagement party was the social event of the year and we were set to get married on my eighteenth birthday. Bill's parents insisted on picking my parents up from the airport in a limo but they never made it to the party. Somewhere between the airport and the party they were t-boned by a semi-tractor trailer," she wiped away a tear. "They didn't stand a chance."

"Why did Dad's parents insist on picking up your parents?" Carmilla asked.

"Like I said, they didn't approve," she reminded her. "I believe they intended to offer my parents an obscene amount of money to talk me out of it." She shrugged. "Pity it got them killed."

"Weird age coincidences aside, I don't understand what this has to do with Deanna," Carmilla commented as the silence stretched.

"Lena had a pair of older sisters, twins, named Deidre and Lilita, who preferred her middle name, Ann," Carmen provided. "They're twins."

Carmilla, first to put the pieces together, jolted to her feet and gasped; "There's fucking two of them?" Her mother nodded. Rage like she hadn't felt before started to boil in the pit of her stomach as she whipped her glass across the room and into the wall. She marshalled her anger, turned and asked calmly; "They blamed you?" When her mother didn't answer, she pushed; "They blamed you and your parents for their little sister's death?"

"It's entirely my fault," Carmen replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "My infatuation got an innocent young women killed and my parents died for it…" she took a deep and shaky breath. "So many dead, so many hurt..." She sobbed. "Because of me."

"It's not your fault," Carmilla said as she fell to her knees in front of her mother and took her hands. "She," she shook her head; "They," she corrected herself, "did this."

"If I'd just listened," Carmen sobbed. "Lena urged me to wait until I was sixteen. She said she'd help me find a lawyer so I could emancipate myself and we could run away."

Jan pulled her wife into her arms as she began crying in earnest. Carmilla decided to give her mother a moment to gather herself so stood and turned to Laura.

"Time to call Rick," she stated as she fell into the seat beside her and took Laura's glass when she offered it to her. "Sounds like he did us a favour with his little stunt."

"I think you're right," Laura agreed and dialed Rick's number as she headed for her office.

"Pup?" Carmilla just before she disappeared. "Vacuum?"

"Just a sec, Rick," Laura said as Rick answered. "In that cupboard," Laura replied as she pointed to it. "But you don't have shoes on."

"I'll get it," Jan offered as she stood.

"Thanks," Carmilla replied as she went to take Jan's spot beside her mother and took her hand. "Did you love her? Lena, I mean?"

"I think so," Carmen sniffed. "What did you mean, 'weird age coincidences aside'?"

"She killed Daddy off just before I turned eleven and had my girlfriend's parents walk in on us when I was fifteen," Carmilla shook her head. "I might have missed that she was two people but they don't do anything without a reason." She sighed. "They..." she shook her head. "Sorry, what was their last name?"

"Morgan."

"The Morgans put me through what they did because of what their sister was accused of," Carmilla explained to her mother's horrified and guilty look. "It's not your fault I grew up to look just like you," she consoled. "Deanna is an evil, psychopathic, twisted bitch," she said with an edge. "If you want to blame anyone other than her, I'd blame the people who killed Lena, and maybe, your parents."

"They were good people," Carmen defended quietly. "Hard working, kind, and they loved me, but..."

"They were closed minded homophobes?" Carmilla finished for her.

"They were..." she shook her head. "Traditional."

"Any, um, any idea how she died?" Carmilla asked gently.

"Jan called some contacts in Vancouver yesterday," Carmen answered and then met her eyes. "You've heard what they do to rapists in prison?" Carmen sniffed as her daughter nodded. "Well imagine what they do to an accused child rapist." She looked down. "Even if she was innocent."

Jan started the vacuum as her mother started to weep anew so she pulled her into her arms and rubbed her back. She waited until Jan was done and then prodded her mother to sit up.

"Hey," she coaxed. "If I don't blame you, neither should you, okay?"

"But it's my fault," Carmen said quietly.

"We can't control how other people react to our actions," Carmilla reasoned. "You loved her," she continued; "You couldn't possibly have predicted what would have happened."

"She's got a point," Jan said as she perched on the arm of the couch behind Carmen.

"What I don't understand is; why did it take you so long to figure this out?" Carmilla asked as she returned to the other couch so Jan could take her place.

"Her memories have come back in bits and pieces," Jan explained. "The first huge chunk was when we visited Vancouver the first time." She wiped her wife's tears. "It's not your fault, mein Shnucki," she cooed. "How could you put the pieces together when you kept getting them from different puzzles?"

"It's not just that," Carmen differed and took a sip of her drink. "Lena never talked about them. Never even saw a picture of them." She shook her head. "But seeing her yesterday?" She sighed. "There's no doubt in my mind."

"They must be, what? At least sixty?" Carmilla asked.

"I guess, why?" he mother replied.

"Doesn't look a day over forty, wouldn't you say?" Carmilla asked sarcastically.

"I don't see your point," her mother answered.

"You have to be right," Carmilla shrugged. "She never seemed to age but I started to notice; she'd start to look tired one day, and then the next she looked five years younger." She could see they still weren't getting it. "An identical twin, yes?" Her mother nodded. "One could be gone for weeks, even months, having plastic surgery and no one would ever know; she just showed up looking better." She laughed. "It explains everything, especially what's been going on the last six weeks."

Laura returned and fell into the seat beside her.

"He's looking into it," she informed them. "Do you know their last name?"

"Morgan," Carmilla replied. "He knows to be subtle about his investigation?" Carmilla queried to Laura's nod. "Good, last thing we want is to tip them off that we know."

"Carmilla, I..." Jan started apprehensively. "It's my fault the bookcase was unlocked."

"I'm sorry?"

"I wanted you to know what was going on but I couldn't just tell you, so..."

"When you thought she was away you left it unlocked for me to find?" Carmilla guessed. "It's okay," she sighed. "You had no idea she'd come back or was probably having Will on the lookout to call her if I did anything weird."

"Can I," Carmen started as she looked to Laura and then to Jan. "Can I have a few minutes alone with my daughter?"

"You okay with that Kitten?" Laura asked Carmilla. When Carmilla had nodded she added; "Eat something?"

"Yes, dear," Carmilla replied sweetly before kissing her cheek and then following her to the dining room table to grab her forgotten plate. Jan made herself and her wife a plate and gave Carmen her food before following Laura out to the patio.

"Are you and Laura okay?" Carmen asked as Carmilla sat beside her.

"We will be," she replied quietly. "And before you tell me to take it easy on her, can you tell me why everyone has been telling me that?"

"Because we all saw, first hand, how scared she's been the last six weeks that she's going to lose you when you find out the truth," her mother supplied.

"You never should have put her in the position of having to lie for you," Carmilla said with an edge to her voice.

"I know," Carmen sighed. "But she wouldn't have gotten as far as she did had she not known the truth." They sat quietly eating for a few moments before Carmen again spoke. "Look, Honey, I know I have little right to act like your mother." She sniffed. "If I didn't lose that right the night I 'died', I certainly did when I ran away a second time, but..." she took Carmilla's hand. "I'd," she shook her head; "we'd," she corrected herself; "really like it if we could be a family."

"Do you have any pictures of them?" Carmilla asked. "The kids, I mean," she clarified.

Carmen nodded, took her phone from her pocket, opened her pictures and handed Carmilla the phone. "That's Thomas, the oldest," she provided.

"God," Carmilla sighed; "he looks just like Will did at that age," she commented as she swiped the screen to a picture of a blond haired boy and a dark haired girl. "And she looks just like me." She wiped a tear away as she gave her mother back the phone. "I can't see them, not yet."

"Okay," her mother said slowly. "Can I ask why?"

"How do you expect me to look at them and not resent them?" She asked as she put her plate on the coffee table, stood and started to pace. "I'm sure living up at the cabin, all alone, wasn't a picnic, but they had you. Both of you. They grew up happy, whole and protected from the dangers of the world. While I was being beaten they were running around without a care." She shook her head. "I know it's not their fault; they're kids. They're innocent in all this, but its how I feel." She sighed and walked over to the bar to fix herself a stronger drink; Patron over ice with a twist of lime. "I'll get over it, I'm sure, but I can't see them, not right now." She fell back into her spot on the couch opposite her mother. "Did Laura tell you what happened yesterday?" Her mother nodded. "I'm still," she struggled to find the right word and settled on; "raw." She ran her hand through her hair and then took a long swallow of her Tequila. "My emotions are all right on the surface. You and Dad might deserve my anger, but they don't." She studied her drink a moment. "When are you guys heading back?"

"We're leaving when you leave on Monday," her mother replied. "We're meeting your friend Danny at the airport and then the helicopter your father bought is taking us back up to the cabin."

"I suppose, given what happened to Laura, that flying up there is probably safer," Carmilla commented. "Surely this little reunion could've waited, why take the risk?"

"Because there was a lot Laura wouldn't have been able to tell you if we hadn't," she smiled. "After all she's done for you on our behalf; it was the least we could do."

"Look," Carmilla started as she looked past her mother and out the patio door where she could see Laura and Jan talking; "Laura and I need some alone time and we have plans for most of tomorrow. If we don't get back too late we can all hang out then or Monday morning before we go our separate ways, okay?"

"That seems fair," Carmen replied and motioned Carmilla to stand as she did.

Carmilla put her glass aside and went to stand in front of her mother.

"I'm so very proud of you," Carmen said fondly as she took Carmilla's face in her hands. "We might have helped you along the way but you're the one who made the most out of every opportunity." She kissed her forehead. "You are so strong." She said fiercely. "So much stronger than you know." She shook her head and then met her eyes. "To have survived what you did?" She sighed. "And not become as messed up as your brother?" She smiled. "Lena once told me; 'The same boiling water that softens potatoes hardens eggs. It's all about what you are made of, not your circumstances'." She kissed her forehead. "But you, my dear, are a soft-boiled egg." Carmilla chuckled. "You have a hard exterior because you needed it to survive but somehow you managed to keep your warm gooey heart protected and mostly intact." She pulled her daughter into her arms. "I might have lost the right to consider myself your mother, but I'm proud to call you my daughter nonetheless."

Carmilla melted into her mother's arms. In all the years since she'd lost her, she hadn't realized how much she'd missed her. It was silly, really, she wasn't even three when she lost her; how could she miss something she hardly remembered? But somehow, as her mother rubbed her back and she let her tears flow, she couldn't deny the comfort she found in her mother's arms.

They broke apart as the patio door opened; "Um, Carmen, honey?" Jan called. "The little ones won't go down for their nap, shall we head back?"

Carmen took Carmilla's face in her hands again and kissed her forehead.

"Sure," she called but didn't break eye contact with her daughter. "I love you, sweetheart, never forget that, okay?" Carmilla nodded. "And I'm so sorry for all you've suffered because of me."

"It's not your fault," Carmilla reminded her.

"It is," Carmen said grimly. "And there's nothing you, or anyone else, can say that can make me feel differently." She shook her head. "This all started because of me, I'm going to see to it that I end it." She smiled. "Or, at the very least, see to it that you do."

"Thanks, Mom," Carmilla smiled and hugged her again. "As confused as I am and as angry as I am at Daddy," she gave her a squeeze and then stepped away. "I'm happy you're back."

"Well," she smiled; "that's more than I hoped for," she joked and kissed her forehead again. "Enjoy your afternoon," she winked and then went and took Jan's hand and followed her out.

Carmilla fell back into her spot on the couch, grabbed her glass and stared into its contents as Laura came to join her.

"I see you found the Patron," she teased.

"I'm sorry, Laura," Carmilla said and then took a sip of her Tequila.

"For what?" she asked, thoroughly perplexed.

"They shouldn't have made you keep their secrets," she shook her head. "I can't imagine how hard it's been for you not to tell me." She took Laura's hand. "Is that about it, for the secrets I mean?"

"There's still some other stuff," Laura replied. "But trust me, nothing this big."

"Like what?" Carmilla asked as she took Laura's hand.

"Will infected you with the parasite on Deanna's orders. According to him she'd told him it was drugs and that it would make you fail your drug test. He said she only told him the truth when he questioned why she was asking so many questions about your health." She studied her a moment. "He was also responsible for switching Bob's pills." Carmilla met her eyes. "He was supposed to be on blood thinners but Deanna had Will change them out for the opposite. It's the only part I told Brody."

"Thank you for keeping him out of this, but can I ask why you did?"

"Cause Bob asked me to," Laura supplied. "But it wasn't just that. I already suspected Will and I couldn't take the chance that Brody would accidently tip him off." She sighed. "I also thought it would be nice for you to have someone who didn't already know more than you when you get home." She took Carmilla's glass and took a sip of it. "He also infected Danny, only I don't think Deanna knew about that one."

"Did he say why?"

"He thought she'd have to forfeit when she missed weight and then you wouldn't get the Invicta fight or the Ultimate Fighter," Laura explained. "Jan, she uh, treated him in the days after he beat you." She gave her glass back and studied her. "He had a torn rotator cuff."

"Little bastard just about killed me," Carmilla replied, her rage, which had been just below the surface since before her fight, showing its ugly head again. "I spent my life trying to protect him and he was trying to kill me the whole time." She sighed. "God, Laura, what do we do now?" She looked at her. "Like one wasn't bad enough, now there's two?"

"On the bright side," Laura replied calmly; "Rick's little stunt has effectively tied their hands; the one who's free can't use the Deanna persona to threaten anyone or use anyone to put their plans into motion."

"Unless some of her lackeys know the truth," Carmilla countered.

"No," Laura disagreed. "It's far too great an advantage to waste."

"How old was I?" Carmilla asked, seemingly out of nowhere, in a small voice. "In the pictures with Frank?"

"Twelve," Laura replied. "Though, according to his logs, she didn't show them to him until you were fourteen."

"So that's what he was talking about," Carmilla theorized. "When he said he had concerns about my well-being." She shook her head. "Is that why you were so worried about me being ready? You know, for our first time? Because you thought the pictures were real?"

"I'd only seen the ones Betty found," Laura clarified. "And from reading your journals, I knew you didn't remember..."

"Oh God, I'm not going to remember, am I?" Carmilla cried, a sick feeling in her stomach. "The pictures being taken, I'm not going to remember that, am I?"

"No," Laura cooed and took her into her arms. "The drugs Deanna was giving you kept you from forming memories during that time. There's nothing for you to remember." She rubbed her back. "But, given my psychology degree, I know you didn't have to remember to still be physically affected by it." Laura said, prompting Carmilla to sit up and meet her eyes. "I think you used your period as an excuse to keep those two girls from returning the favor," she said gently. "Did you ever feel uncomfortable around Frank?"

"Now that you mention it," Carmilla shuddered and took another sip of her Tequila. "The first time I saw him, about a month after Bob took us in, I got this, I don't know, uneasy feeling around him." She shook her head. "Which, at the time, I thought was weird because he was like an uncle to us before Dad died."

"Can I tell you something?" Carmilla nodded. "I already suspected the photos were staged but after our first weekend together, I knew they were."

"Really?" Laura nodded. "Why?"

"Because it wouldn't have been as amazing as it was if you'd been systematically sexually assaulted for seven years," Laura provided simply. "Yes, you don't like to be touched by people you don't know, given the physical abuse you endured, that's not surprising. But if all those pictures were real?" She wiped away Carmilla's tears. "I doubt you'd be functional human being at all."

"Is there anything else?" Carmilla asked as the silence stretched.

"Not that I can think of," Laura replied honestly. "If I've missed anything, it's in my journal. I thought we could start reading them while we're getting out tattoos?"

"What about the stuff you said you couldn't say out loud?" Carmilla prodded.

"Um," Laura blushed. "Some of its, um, sexual in nature. You know," she blushed further; "things I'm curious about. Things I might like to try, if you're willing." She looked down. "And some other stuff," she admitted quietly and then clarified; "Some really dark stuff."

"Laura?" Carmilla waited for her to meet her eyes. "If I hadn't met you when I did, I wouldn't be here."

"I know," Laura replied. Of all the things she expected Laura to say, that wasn't one of them. "Dark found the letters you wrote everyone." She took her hand. "He loves you but he knew it would blow up in his face if he confronted you and he was scared it might drive you to do it anyway."

"I know I've asked you before, but," she took her hand from Laura's grasp; "did you get involved me because it made it easier to manipulate me?"

"I can't deny that it was far easier to protect you once we got involved," Laura admitted. "But that's not why I went against everyone's advice and my own good sense and got involved anyway." She smiled and took Carmilla's hand. "I fell for you the first time I saw you." She smiled as Carmilla turned her hand over and laced their fingers. "It was," she thought a moment; "two summers ago, a Pride party if I remember correctly." She smiled at Carmilla's look of surprise. "I followed you there and watched you dance." She blushed. "I love watching you dance," she confided.

"You've been stalking me for that long?" Carmilla joked to Laura's nod and laughter. "Why didn't you approach me sooner?"

"I couldn't," she replied sadly. "It was crucial that Deanna believe that everything you accomplished you'd done on your own to protect those helping you." She shook her head. "And I already told you the truth; I decided to ignore everything and be with you because, if you ended up hating me, at least I would have had some time to be happy with you." She shrugged. "It's selfish, I know, but it's true."

"Mom told me the reason everyone keeps reminding me that you love me is because they all saw how scared you were that you were going to lose me?" she asked.

"It's not just that," Laura replied. "When you were home they knew you'd be suspicious," she shrugged. "They couldn't tell you what I was doing so instead they told you that I really do love you." She squeezed her hand. "Carm?" She waited for her to meet her eyes. "Are we going to be okay?"

She pulled Laura into her lap so she was straddling her and then pulled her in for a tender kiss that quickly deepened. "We're going to be just fine, Pup," she assured her, her voice deep with lust. "Why don't you tell me about this dream you were having that prompted you to hump our friend in your sleep?"

Laura sat back as she blushed and rubbed her face.

"You really want to know?" she asked, secretly hoping she'd say 'no'.

"Now that I see how deeply you're blushing, I do," she teased as she pulled her back and nipped at her neck. "C'mon, you can tell me, I won't judge."

"I, uh," she took Carmilla's hands and positioned one on her hip and the other on her behind; "I was kissing someone and she had her hands there. It was soft," she demonstrated. "And tender." She kissed her again. "Somewhat hesitant." She kissed her neck. "Until I pushed up against her, like this." Laura melded herself against her and kissed her passionately. "And then I felt a third hand under my shirt as you pressed yourself against my back."

"Who were you kissing?" Carmilla laughed as she pushed her away slightly to see her face.

"Danny," Laura blushed. "You asked me if I was sure, I nodded and kissed you." She kissed her deeply. "And then you asked Danny and she said she needed a little more 'research' and pulled you in for a kiss." They kissed again, this time Carmilla's right hand creeped under her shirt to cup her breast, a low moan escaping from Laura as she pressed herself into her hand. "When she woke me," she whispered her voice husky; "the dream had shifted." She kissed along her ear. "We were still in the same position but we were in bed, naked, and you both had your hands between my legs and had me seconds away from the biggest orgasm I've ever had."

"Really?" Carmilla chuckled as she laid Laura down on the couch and kissed her neck. "If that's something, that, uh, interests you," she squeezed her nipple and elicited another moan; "I'm sure we can explore that when we get home," she dropped a hand to Laura's shorts and then dipped her hand inside to find out just how turned on she was. "Since," she groaned; "God, you're so wet," she sighed as she circled her clitoris before dipping inside her.

"I missed you," she pleaded.

"I missed you, too," Carmilla assured her as she took her hand from Laura's shorts and licked her fingers despite Laura's pout. "Bed?" she suggested to Laura's grin. "Not that I have anything against showing you just how much I missed you right here but..."

"The thought of getting walked in by your parents or younger siblings isn't all that enticing?" Laura joked as Carmilla stood and extended her hand to her.

"Not something I ever thought I'd have to worry about," Carmilla laughed. "But yeah, that."

They started removing each other's few items of clothing as soon as they reached the bedroom. Carmilla picked Laura up, carried her to the bed and laid her down gently. "I know," she smiled; "that threesomes are rarely simple, and having one with someone who we both have a history with might be a bad idea. " She kissed her neck. "Or," she started kissing her way to Laura's left breast, "it could be a really really good idea."

"I thought you said you only regretted not being a better friend," Laura pointed out.

"And that's true," she replied as she looked up to her and her right hand made its way back between her legs. "But the night I told her the truth, I might have regretted, for a minute, that I didn't sleep with her when I had the chance." She entered her with two fingers, Laura arching her back as she did. "Not that I don't love that you were my first, but..."

"Same," Laura gasped as Carmilla ran her thumb over her clitoris.

"I so want to taste you," Carmilla lamented. "But my nose..."

"I have," Laura had started to pant at both the idea of Carmilla's face between her legs and what her hand was already doing there; "an idea..."

"Oh, yeah?" Carmilla chuckled as she kissed her. "And what would that be?"

"Taste," she panted. "Each other," she accepted Carmilla's kiss. "Same time."

"That could work," Carmilla hummed softly. "But I kind of want to concentrate on you." She started to kiss her way down Laura's body as she manoeuvered her own so she was laying across Laura's stomach and could lick her without her nose getting in the way. "That works," she said and went to work in earnest as Laura nails dug into her shoulder.

She added another finger inside her and started thrusting harder as she took Laura's clitoris in her mouth and alternated between sucking on it and flicking it with her tongue. Between that and what her fingers were doing it wasn't long before Laura was screaming Carmilla's name.

Carmilla stayed there a moment as she enjoyed the feeling of Laura's muscles contracting around her fingers and the shudders going through her body. She kept her fingers inside her as she kissed her way back up her body and then kissed her deeply.

"So, do you want to?" Carmilla asked.

"Let me catch my breath a second, woman," Laura laughed, thinking Carmilla meant her earlier suggestion of sixty-nine.

"No," Carmilla chuckled and kissed her. "I meant with Danny, when we get home."

"Maybe?" Laura smiled. "If she wants to."

"We'd have to talk to her," Carmilla said as she finally took her hand from between Laura's legs and laid her arm across her stomach as she cuddled into her side and put her head on her shoulder. "Set some boundaries. Talk about what happens after."

"What, um, do you want to happen after?" Laura asked nervously, somehow she couldn't deny the insecurity that Carmilla would leave her for Danny.

"I don't want her to be our 'girlfriend', if that's what you're thinking," Carmilla provided. "But I don't know." She shrugged. "If it goes well, and it doesn't get complicated, maybe it doesn't have to be just once?" She looked up to her. "As long as we all agree to end it the second it threatens any of our pre-existing relationships between us."

"So a 'friend-with-benefits', kind of thing?" Laura asked thoughtfully.

"So long as she wants to and is single," Carmilla qualified.

"Hmm," Laura hummed as she pushed Carmilla to her back and put her hand between her legs to find her dripping wet. "I think I'm not the only one who's getting turned on at the thought of us getting it on with our 'friend'," she teased.

"The thought of two very attractive women I happen to care about touching me at the same time?" Carmilla chuckled and sighed as Laura entered her and took a nipple in her mouth. "What's not to like?"


	29. But

The next morning Laura lay staring at her girlfriend as she slept. She smiled; moments like these were one of the many benefits of Carmilla finally knowing most of the truth. Now, when she needed to speak to someone, she just excused herself and called them. Sometimes, not even doing that much. She sighed; so much had changed since Carmilla had lain broken and bleeding in her arms that nothing would ever be the same again.

"Well," she thought and smiled as she lowered the blanket over the sleeping woman beside her only to discover several large hickeys across her chest; "some things don't change," she chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Carmilla mumbled as she woke.

"Just thinking how not everything has changed," Laura replied and kissed her softly. "'morning," she greeted.

"Yeah," Carmilla smiled; "you're still an insufferable morning person."

"Not really," Laura chuckled and laid her head on her shoulder. "Never was, truth be told." She looked up at her. "It used to be the only time I could do any work without worrying you'd overhear." She shook her head. "The night of your fight with Danny was terrible," she confided. "I was getting texts every few minutes keeping me updated on Will," she sighed. "Meanwhile I'm trying to keep Danny from blowing my cover."

"How much did she know then?" Carmilla asked neutrally. "I'm just curious."

"I didn't tell her much about myself," she admitted. "I think she assumed I was about her age and a university student with an interest in Martial Arts. We, uh, didn't talk much once we started dating." Laura studied her a moment as she attempted to gauge both how awake her girlfriend was and how she was feeling. Deciding it was easiest to just ask, she did; "How are you feeling?" She waited a moment as Carmilla closed her eyes. "Carm?" she prodded.

"I was taking a moment," she sighed. "It depends on what you're asking."

"Let's start with the easy one; physically?"

"Nose still hurts, eyebrow not so much," Carmilla replied thoughtfully. "Other than that? A little sore from what we've been up to for the last," she looked at the clock, "sixteen hours or so." She shrugged. "But other than that, good."

"How about emotionally and mentally?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "Yesterday, until we got distracted anyway, I was still all over the place, but feeling every single emotion acutely. Everything, right there on the surface," Carmilla explained as she closed her eyes and then took a deep breath. "Now?" She smiled. "I feel," she sighed as she opened her eyes and met Laura's, "calm." She kissed her softly. "Content, almost."

"Almost?"

"I know I have to talk to my father," she carefully rubbed her face. "And I'm dreading it," Carmilla admitted. "Mostly because I know I'm going to get angry, again, and I don't know if I have it in me to rein it in."

"That was you reining it in?" Laura teased.

"I did with my mom," she clarified. "When I realised just how Deanna has done everything that's she done," she shook her head. "I lost it." She sighed. "But when I turned and saw how scared and sad she was?" She shrugged. "Any anger I felt towards her was gone." She reached out and stroked Laura's cheek. "As for how I'm doing with what you've told me so far?" she raised her uninjured eyebrow. "Because I'm pretty sure there's still some details you've left out," Laura lowered her gaze. "I'm just curious as to why."

"Because it's a lot and I could tell you were still feeling..." she searched for the right description; "off." She tried to kiss her but was denied. "I couldn't control what or how much your parents told you but I could control myself and it's not that I don't think you can't handle it," she assured her.

"No, it's not that," she smiled. "That's the first time you've looked guilty and then haven't tried to continue to distract me when I pressed for answers." She kissed her tenderly. "You 'distracted' me instead of telling me lies?"

"It wasn't just that," Laura corrected and sat up as her phone vibrated across the bedside table. "It got to the point," she sighed as she grabbed it and realised she'd never gotten around to updating Dana. She shook her head and put her phone down. "I was hiding so much from you that sometimes it felt like the only time I could be totally honest with you, totally myself, was when we were having sex."

"Who texted?"

"Dana," she replied and showed her. "I forgot to update him."

"You know," Carmilla started as she sat up and kissed her shoulder, "had I been feeling better and not distracted by my MG, I would have called you on trying to accuse me of trying to distract you for answers." She chuckled as Laura blushed. "Go ahead, call him back," she told her as she got out of bed.

"You don't have to leave," Laura pointed out.

"I know," she smiled as she returned and kissed her. "But I have to pee."

"Oh," Laura laughed. "Okay then, go," she urged. Carmilla kissed her again and then headed to the bathroom as Laura dialed Dana's number and waited for him to answer. "Good morning, Mr. White," she greeted.

"What's with this 'Mr. White' shit?" he joked. "How's your girl doing?"

"Physically fine, considering," she supplied. "No training for a week and no contact for four."

"I know," he replied. "I called the clinic when you didn't text."

"Yeah, um, sorry about that," she apologized. "There's been a lot going on and it completely slipped my mind."

"Understandable," he assured her. "We've got Roger's Arena all booked," he informed her. "Are you still interested in the re-match with Randa?"

"I'll let you know after I see her fight with Carm," she joked.

"We're still on for this afternoon around five?"

"Should be," she answered as got up to join Carmilla in the bathroom. "Depends how long our tattoos take. I'll call you if we're running late." She kissed Carmilla's cheek while the brunette washed her hands. "Just a sec, I'm putting you on speaker." She set the phone on the counter and put him on speaker to prove to Carmilla she wasn't hiding anything. "Go ahead, Carm's here."

"Hey kid, how ya feeling?"

"Better," she answered and almost believed it herself.

"You up for this today? Watching the fight and telling us what's going on?"

"I am if Laura can stay with me," she replied.

"I had assumed as much," he admitted. "Look, I should warn you, some of your teammates heard what you were doing today, and well, most of them have decided to throw you a little party at the house. Mostly 'off the record'."

"What does that mean, exactly?" Laura asked.

"We won't show you in the house, Laura, I mean," he explained. "It was supposed to be a surprise but..."

"Given the complete mess I was on Friday you thought it prudent to warn me?" Carmilla finished for him. "I should be fine but I want to be home no later than eight."

"That's awfully early," he commented.

"I have," she smiled, "some little people I need to meet," she supplied vaguely to Laura's smile and look of surprise. "Mostly so we can get the hell out of Dodge as soon as we get up tomorrow."

"Fair enough," he chuckled. "I'll see you both later then," he said before he ended the call.

"So," Laura started as she grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink and took out a pair of tweezers and scissors, "you're going to face the ankle biters?" She motioned Carmilla to take a seat on the toilet once she'd put the lid down, "I'm going to take out the rest of your stitches," she supplied when Carmilla seemed reluctant to comply. "They're not doing you any good and you lost most of them during our skinny dip last night."

"Fine," Carmilla sighed and took a seat. "You know, you could've warned me it'd be cold," she teased.

"And miss the look on your face?" Laura joked and shrugged. "It was one of the many reasons I wanted your dad to buy this particular property," she smiled as she started clipping Carmilla's stitches. "The chilled pool, the central air conditioning, and the totally private pool house," she listed

"Is there a reason you haven't given me a tour yet?"

"There's not much more to see," Laura supplied. "There are three more bedrooms; Laf converted one into a makeshift lab that has recently been repurposed." She started taking out her stitches so she wouldn't ask what it had been repurposed to. "My office, well," she smiled, "I guess, our office?" Carmilla smiled and nodded. "And then a guest bedroom."

"So, what has the lab been repurposed as?" Carmilla asked.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Laura sighed. "We're not going to your tattoo artist," she smiled as she took out the last stitch, "she's coming to us." She shrugged. "She and Laf spent most of the week setting it up."

"Why though?" Carmilla questioned. "I mean," she rushed out at Laura's look of disappointment, "it's really very sweet and all, but hardly..."

"I know it's not necessary," Laura interrupted and kissed her. "But it is easier," she offered. "Controlled environment?"

"You really think Deanna could do something to sabotage our tattoos?" Carmilla asked skeptically.

"Is that a risk you're willing to take?" Laura countered and motioned her to stand.

"And yet we're leaving on a two week road trip?" Carmilla pointed out. "In a convertible, no less?"

"Calculated risk," Laura informed her as she flipped the lid on the toilet back up. "We need to find out if we've plugged all the leaks," Laura explained. "For the next three months, or so, it's all about forcing Deanna's hand." She looked at Carmilla, the toilet and back to her. "Meet you in the shower?"

"What?" Carmilla laughed. "Too shy to pee in front me?"

"There are just some boundaries I'm not ready to cross yet," Laura blushed.

"Remember not to flush?" Carmilla joked and kissed her quickly before heading to the shower. She turned to find Laura waiting for her to get in, shook her head and laughed as she turned on the water and adjusted the temperature. "You're too cute, Cupcake," she teased as she got into the shower.

So much had happened, well, not happened, exactly, but she'd found out so much in the last twenty-four hours that Carmilla wasn't sure how to feel about most of it. She'd catch Laura watching her, like when they were talking to her long lost mother, as if she was waiting for the moment it reached too much. "Makes sense," she thought and chuckled; "what with a psychology degree and all." She shook her head as the door opened behind her and Laura wrapped her arms around her from behind. "Hey," she sighed as she turned in her arms.

"Hey," Laura sighed and kissed her softly. "Miss me?"

"In the minute in a half we were apart?" Carmilla joked. "Or in the last six weeks?"

"Both," Laura laughed.

"Then the answer is the same to both," Carmilla smiled. "Every single second." She kissed her softly, but as it deepened she pulled away. "Every time I started to get overwhelmed, in the house I mean, I thought about this." She smiled. "This right here, just showering with you. Holding you." She pulled her into her arms. "All naked, and soapy, and wet." She leaned her forehead against Laura's. "That's what got me through." She kissed her forehead. "I knew, even if it was all an act on your part, I knew that what I feel for you is real." She reached for the body wash and loofa. "Even in my darkest moments of doubt, you were still a comfort to me."

"I do love you, Carm, you know that right?" Laura replied fiercely.

"I do," she smiled. "Now," she qualified. "Though I suspected all along." She started washing her as she changed the subject; "So, what's the plan then?" Laura looked at her bemused. "For forcing Deanna's hand?" She asked but before Laura could answer she added; "And by the way, I think we should continue to refer to her as Deanna, singular. Wouldn't want to accidently tip the wrong person off."

"Good idea," Laura agreed. "Well, as you probably guessed, your parents flying back when we leave isn't a coincidence."

"I figured as much," Carmilla admitted. "The question is; are we a distraction for them or vice versa?"

"We're the distraction for them and Danny to get back to the cabin safely," Laura clarified. "A lot of people know we're going on a road trip, however, only our new pilot and the Xanders know our route."

"And what is our route?"

"After the Grand Canyon, we head west to Disney Land," Carmilla chuckled but didn't comment. "And then up the west coast; hit LA, San Francisco, San Diego, Seattle," she shrugged. "Whatever strikes our fancy really."

"So our road trip is 'step one'?" Carmilla inquired.

"It is," Laura smiled. "Once we get back…" she shook her head and sighed; there was so much she had to tell her that some of the bigger things had been forgotten. "I, uh, should have warned you; with Deanna in jail, you're the new CEO of Karnstein Industries."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," she laughed. "Oh, that'll go over well with the shareholders." She shook her head as she reached for the shampoo to start washing Laura's hair. "Fuck that," she continued; "Dad is the first to 'come out of the coffin'." Seeing the look of doubt on Laura's face she gave her reasoning; "You don't think that, between his being alive and taking control of the company back, it might just be enough to prod Deanna into action?"

"You might have a point," Laura replied. "I think Danny should come out at the same time as your dad."

"You think Deanna would care?" Carmilla countered. "I mean, Danny's hardly a threat to her."

"True," Laura conceded as she took the shampoo from Carmilla and returned the favour of washing her hair. "But then, she was never a threat to begin with."

"No," Carmilla sighed, "you're right, she was a pawn."

"Which means she's still a target," Laura pointed out. "Having her come out at the same time as your dad might offer her some protection."

"Okay," Carmilla agreed. "So, if all that doesn't work, my mom comes out?"

"Yeah," Laura nodded as they both rinsed their hair. "Originally I was going to have her and Jan come out at the same time as your dad but now, with what your mom told us yesterday, I'm thinking her being alive is going to be the last nail in Deanna's coffin."

"I was thinking about something I mentioned to them yesterday, about how Deanna never seemed to age?" Laura nodded. "What if the Deanna I beat the crap out of never fully recovered?"

"You think we've only been dealing with one of them since you ran away?"

"I think, given how badly she was hurt, that coming back without a scratch only three months later is bordering on miraculous," Carmilla reasoned.

"Jan did have to resuscitate her twice before the ambulance arrived," Laura supplied thoughtfully.

"She should have let her die," Carmilla commented and shook her head. "Then again, with my luck the other one would've taken her place and told everyone I was crazy, that she couldn't have hurt me like I said she did because she's obviously fine." She turned the water off and motioned her out. "Call Rick, tell him to check Deanna for a scar on her stomach, if it's not there we have proof that there's two of them."

"But if you're right, that one of them never fully recovered," Laura started as she toweled off her girlfriend.

"Then there's a good chance they're no longer identical," Carmilla finished for her. "She could be hiding in plain sight and we'd never know it." She sighed. "Tell Rick to look into any new staff she's hired in the…" she trailed off at the look on Laura's face. "What?" she prodded.

"There's an apartment in the attic at the estate," she supplied as she grabbed her phone and called Rick. "It wasn't on the original blueprints and we, sort of, assumed it was being used by Will so we didn't look into it too much." She waited until Rick answered and put him on speaker as she and Carmilla went into the bedroom to get dressed. "Morning," she greeted when he answered.

"We've made no progress on Deanna's twin," he reported.

"I don't expect you will if Carm's theory is right," Laura countered. "What if they're no longer identical? What if, when Carm beat the hell out of one of them, she was so injured that it was impossible to make them look exactly alike again so the hurt twin took on another face?" She paused to let that sink in as she gathered her clothes for the day. "Find an excuse to have Deanna undergo a physical exam; if she doesn't have a scar on her stomach, chances are, we're right." She again paused as she slipped a tank top on after putting on her bra. "Check into anyone she's hired in the last three years and I suspect it wasn't Will using the attic apartment so let's get a full sweep done." She smiled. "Even if they don't look identical anymore, their DNA can't have changed."

"We'll get right on it," he assured her. "How's Carm holding up?"

"I'm doing okay," Carmilla replied. "I mean, yes, saying it's 'a lot', might be an understatement, but I just end up feeling worse that Laura's had to hide all of it." She kissed Laura's cheek. "And Rick? We're referring to them as Deanna, singular."

"Already was," he chuckled. "Look kid, when this is all over, you might want to think about joining us in the department."

"Me?" she laughed. "A cop?" She wiped a tear away. "You're joking, right?"

"Not at all," he replied seriously. "You've got the right mindset for it." She looked at Laura to find her smiling; clearly she agreed with him. "It's not like Laura figured everything out on her own."

"It's true," Laura encouraged. "You often see angles I miss."

"That's only because I have a more intimate knowledge of our enemy," Carmilla reasoned. She considered asking Laura why she was so keen on her becoming a cop when she herself was planning to resign but she had a feeling she hadn't told Rick yet. "One step at a time," she joked as the silence stretched. "Let's get her dealt with, let me find out what life is like without her darkening it and then I'll figure out what to do with the rest of it." She stroked Laura's cheek. "There's too much to do, too much to consider," she shook her head. "I can't focus on the future until I know there's a future to focus on."

"She's already done, Carm," Rick rushed to assure her.

"But she isn't," Carmilla corrected. "There's another one out there," she pointed out. "Even if we catch both of them, there's no guarantee that it'll stick or that she won't find a way to escape like she helped Will escape." She smiled despite her grim mood. "The good news is; at least we starting to have a plan."

"Care to let me in on it?"

"No," Laura replied firmly. "Rick," she sighed, "you know that it isn't that I don't trust you..."

"But that you're trying to give me 'plausible deniability'?" he supplied. "That only goes so far, Laura, I can't help you if I don't know what that fuck you have up your sleeve."

"When I need your help, I'll let you know," she answered evenly.

"That's not..." he huffed in frustration. "Carm?"

"Yeah?"

"Remind her, daily if you have to, that she's not invincible?" he asked, his tone one she'd heard before; he cared about Laura and was worried about her.

"I already have," she replied. "It scares the shit out of me that she was almost killed four times in the last six weeks."

"Three," Laura differed. "We have no evidence the gunman and woman were after me."

"And you don't think Deanna wouldn't kill you in a heartbeat if she thought, for one second, that it would lead me to take my own life?" Carmilla commented. "As if she didn't already have about a hundred reasons to take you out," she added sadly.

"I wouldn't say there's that many," Laura countered quietly as she studied her girlfriend. "Rick, if there's nothing else?"

"I'll keep you in the loop," he offered. "Be careful, both of you?"

"Always," they replied and smiled.

Carmilla kissed her cheek and then walked away to start getting dressed.

"I'm not reckless," Laura defended. "Remember what you told me when I broke my arm?" Carmilla turned back to her. "That you don't do anything without knowing the risks?" Carmilla nodded. "Well, I wouldn't still be around if I didn't do exactly the same thing every single day."

"So you knew Nancy was going to blow up?"

"I suspected she was wearing a bomb vest, yes," Laura replied to her surprise. "I also knew approximately how far away I'd have to be if I was right and parked the Jeep just far enough away that I could run behind it."

"But you still got hit."

"I might have miscalculated the nature of the bomb," she admitted. "But it wasn't a risk I took without reason. I knew, if they had a Swat team surround her, they'd be dead. She'd have had no reason to spare their lives."

"'She' meaning?"

"Nancy," Laura surprised her again. "She was many things but she did love you and she wrote, in one of her last journal entries, that she knew she was as good as dead but could die happy knowing I was taking care of you."

"But you couldn't have known that at the time," Carmilla countered.

"But I did," Laura differed. "I put myself in her shoes." She shrugged. "If I knew I was close to dying and thought there was someone who could be with you, love you and keep you safe?" She smiled as Carmilla walked back over and took her in her arms. "I'd be comforted knowing you'd be okay."

"That's not…" she sighed. "How about me? Hmm? Do you think I'd be okay if something happened to you?" She shook her head. "I might move on, eventually, but you'd take a piece of me with you." She ran her hand up Laura's left arm. "I was thinking," she started as she ran a finger over the newest scar on her left bicep, "that maybe you should think about changing the placement of your tattoo, though it'll probably mean you won't be able to get it done today."

"Why?"

"Well I doubt she'd be able to adjust your tattoo that quickly and even if she did it's not like she has a printer here to make a stencil, right?" she reasoned.

"No," Laura chuckled as she pushed her away to continue getting dressed, "I meant, why move it?"

"Because this scar," she began as she pulled Laura back and ran her fingers over the scar from when she broke her arm; "is nothing more than a reminder of the biggest mistake I ever made."

"It wasn't your fault," Laura reminded her.

"That's not the mistake I'm talking about," Carmilla smiled. "I should have kissed you before I went running after that stupid dog."

"A mistake you've been making up for ever since," Laura said fondly before she kissed her.

"True," Carmilla sighed. "But this scar?" She indicated the scar on her bicep. "She damned near killed you."

"But…"

"No, Laura, I don't care what you say about taking 'calculated risks'," Carmilla said, an edge to her voice for the first time. "You risked your life at least three times while I was away and I won't stand idly by until she finally succeeds." She took a deep breath and then released it as she kissed Laura's forehead. "Besides, if you agree to my idea, a half sleeve tattoo might be hard to explain."

"What idea?"

"I don't think you should resign when we get back," Carmilla started.

"But…" Laura tried to interrupt.

"Hear me out?" she asked. Laura nodded, albeit it reluctantly. "You told me yourself that you're a good cop, right?" Laura nodded. "Then I think we, and everyone we care about, is safest with you exactly where you are."

"But what about us?" Laura asked sadly; she was tired of lying to her superiors about their relationship.

"We tell your bosses that I've known, and have been working with you, since you broke your arm," Carmilla suggested. "That you, essentially, stopped me when I tried to take our relationship to the next level, told me the truth and we've been keeping up the façade all this time to piss Deanna off and give you a logical explanation as to why we're always together."

"And what do we tell our friends?"

"Most everyone we tell the same thing," Carmilla explained. "Except Dark, he'll know the truth whether I tell him or not."

"And if they don't believe us?"

"Then we make them believe us," Carmilla replied confidently. "It's not going to be easy, but then, it never has been." She shook her head. "I'm tired Laura and I want this to end sooner rather than later. If that means doing things I'd rather not, then I will."

"Whatever it takes?" Carmilla nodded but then was distracted by a noise from the other room.

"We're not expecting company, are we?" Carmilla asked as she poked her head out the door. "Shit," she sighed.

"What?" Laura asked as she pushed past her into the living room. "What do you think you're doing coming in here uninvited?"

"A peace offering?" Bill offered as he took a stack of pancakes from the oven.

"You really think pancakes are going to change my very low opinion of you?" Carmilla joked as she joined Laura.

"What have I got to lose?"

"True," she conceded and made her way to the coffee machine to make her and Laura a couple of cups. She looked to Laura; "Can you explain how exactly I ended up the CEO of Karnstein Industries?"

"Our best guess is that Frank had you sign something you didn't know you were signing," Laura supplied. "See, the company was under Deanna's control until Will turned twenty-one. However, with his death, the company immediately went to you, or should have. We think Frank had you sign something that said you relinquished control to Deanna however we also think he had you sign two versions. The one that is legal, the one he filed with the courts, stipulates that the company returns to you if Deanna is ever under criminal investigation."

"Well I don't want it," she looked at her father. "Time for you to come back from the dead and clean up your mess."

"It's not that simple," her father deflected.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Laura countered.

"Wait," Carmilla studied her father; "why did you fake your death? More importantly, why did you ever marry that foul woman to begin with?"

"I had no choice," he supplied as he motioned them to the table and brought their breakfast over. "My father hired her a few years before I met your mother. She worked her way up until she was in charge of his personal finances and then proceeded to embezzle millions from the company under his name. When Deanna had my parents killed I was given control of a multinational company at the age of twenty. My father had trusted her, and she seemed to know what she was doing, so I kept her on."

"Did she have anything to do with you and Mom meeting?" Carmilla asked as she began filling her plate.

"I'm almost positive she did," he commented as he took a seat at the table. "She convinced my father to host a big Christmas bash, which he'd never done before, and your mom was one of the banquet servers. We met and hit it off," he shrugged. "I didn't think anything of it at the time." He shook his head. "But then, when she tried to kill your mother…"

"Did you know?" Carmilla interrupted. "That Deanna was behind it?" she clarified.

"No," he sighed. "But a few months after her death Deanna came to me and told me if I didn't marry her she'd expose the embezzling that she had now manipulated to make look like I had done."

"So she blackmailed you into marrying her?" Carmilla asked, completely dumbfounded.

"It's a better excuse than he gave me for marrying her," Laura commented.

"And what was that?" Carmilla asked out of curiosity.

"That he was too young to take care of two kids under the age of three and he married her to take care of you," Laura supplied.

"Well, she did," Carmilla commented dryly. "Just not the way he expected." She looked back to her father. "So you faked your death to avoid criminal embezzlement charges?" He nodded, shame evident on his face. "And you're afraid to come back in case she…" she shook her head. "How, if we were left all of your money, have you been paying for everything?"

"There's a stash inside the mountain that your family has been contributing to ever since they bought the land," Laura supplied and looked at Bill. "You're afraid the authorities will think your stash was gotten through illegal means and faked your death so the rest of your assets would be protected by going to your children?"

When her father didn't answer, Carmilla hissed; "Get out."

"What?" he father asked in bewilderment.

"All this time," she started as she pushed her plate away from her and stood, "I've felt abandoned by you and now I find out I should feel abandoned? That you choose your money over your children?" She turned away from him and started to pace. "Give me one reason why I should ever to talk to you again outside of anything business related," she challenged. "Give me one reason why I should forgive you."

"I'm glad you got your mother's engagement ring back," he offered.

"What?" she laughed, wrong footed for a moment. "I mean, if I'd thought about it, I'd have figured you got it to me for my birthday."

"No, I meant after you lost it," he clarified.

"What did you do?" she laughed. "Drain the lake so you could find it, force fed it to a fish and then swam out and hooked it on my line?"

"Essentially, only I didn't have to drain the lake to find it," he explained. "Before I gave it to you I had a GPS tracker put under the diamond so you'd be able to find it if you ever lost it or it was stolen…"

"Motherfucker," Laura hissed, enunciating every syllable of the expletive.

"What?" Carmilla said and was about to laugh until she saw a look of rage on Laura's face that she'd never seen before.

"How did you know she lost the ring?" Laura asked calmly.

"Thomas and I were watching her fish when she lost it."

"In person or on camera?" she prodded.

"In person."

"How did you know when she was going fishing this summer?" she asked as she went to stand next to Carmilla. When he didn't answer she looked at Carmilla and explained her outrage; "You know how you told me that Kenny turns off the cameras around the cabin to give you privacy when you're up there?" Carmilla nodded. "That isn't why he turns them off," she looked back at Bill. "He turns them off so you won't accidently see your father lurking about." Bill nodded but was looking decidedly uncomfortable. "I want the microphones gone before we visit again, is that clear?" He nodded and looked down.

"What!?" Carmilla cried. "You abandon us and then spy on us?" He stood as he nodded again. "Fuck you!"

"How dare you speak…"

"I'll speak to you however I damned well please," Carmilla cut him off. "Your seed might have conceived me but you are not my father. You never were." She shook her head and walked up to him. "You want my forgiveness?" She asked as she poked him in the chest. "My trust?" She poked him again. "My respect?" Another poke. "Earn it!" she challenged.

"But…"

"NO!" she spat. "The biggest difference between you and I is this; if I were in your shoes, and let's be damned clear about one thing, I'd never be stupid enough to let myself end up in your position, but if I did, if I'm lucky enough to have a family with Laura someday, I'd move heaven and earth to keep my kids safe."

"But…"

"No! There's no 'but'," she countered angrily.

"It was too dangerous!" he justified.

"You should have tried!" she yelled. "Leave!"

"But…"

"NO!" She physically pushed him towards the door. "I will be civil to you around your family, and I will talk to you about business but if you're hoping for anything more than that?" She pushed him again. "I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you."

"Just…" he paused at the door. "For the record; your little brother, Thomas, spent the last year learning to scuba dive so he could get your ring back to you."

"They know who she is?" Laura asked in shock.

"Only he does," he supplied. "Rose and Bobby are too young to understand."

"Bobby?" Carmilla queried, her anger momentarily forgotten. "Did you name him after Bob?" Her father nodded. "Thank you. Now, go," she sighed. "I don't want to see you again until I have to, understood?"

"When do you think that might be?" he asked, clearly stalling.

"How about the press conference where we tell everyone you're alive?" Laura suggested as she went to stand next to her girlfriend in support and placed a hand on her lower back. "I'll look into getting some people to look into your business, see if they can't start to sort it out before you take over." She looked at her watch. "We've got a little over an hour before Trish shows up, shall we invite the kids over?" Carmilla seemed reluctant. "I don't know about you, but I'm not in the mood for pancakes."

"Fine," Carmilla sighed. "Ask Mom to bring the kids over?" Bill nodded. "Now, go, I can't stand the sight of you." He nodded, turned and left. "Son of a bitch," she sighed as tears welled in her eyes. "I don't know who I hate more; him or Deanna."

"I know, Kitten," Laura cooed as she pulled her into her arms. "As far as fathers go, I think you and I got the bottom of the barrel."

"You're dad isn't so bad," Carmilla differed as she pulled away and wiped her tears away.

"No?" Laura disagreed. "He lied to me my entire life. Protected a woman who never loved him back and put his family in danger to protect her children." She shook her head. "No, it isn't as bad as your dad, and I'm not saying I'm not glad that he at least tried to help you when no one else was, but he should have told me the truth instead of letting me walk into this blindly." She kissed her briefly. "Cause you're right; Deanna must have known exactly who I was the second Danny told Will about me, maybe sooner."

"Would you have done things differently had you known?" Carmilla asked as she made her way to the kitchen to grab a couple of paper towels to blow her nose. "Owww," she hissed and checked the paper. "At least it stopped bleeding." She smiled. "So would you have? Done things differently, I mean?"

"I don't know," Laura admitted. "Sometimes I think everything has happened exactly the way it had to." She shook her head. "Please understand, I'm not saying this to defend their inaction, but they did help you get out, eventually."

"Am I wrong to think they should have tried sooner?"

"No." Laura regarded her a moment. "But they, and you, might have been killed in the attempt."

"You don't think that wouldn't have been preferable?" Carmilla countered edgily. "You've read my journals, seen the videos," she pushed calmly. "Don't you think, given the choice of; "Hey, we're going to try to get you out of here but you might not make it," and suffering everything that I did, I wouldn't have taken that chance?" Laura had no answer for her. "The bottom line is; they did what was best for them, not me, not Will,  _them_."

"Maybe they didn't want to risk your lives?" Laura offered.

"My life has been at risk since before I was born," Carmilla reminded her. "Laura?" She took her hands and stared into her eyes. "The ground we're on might not be fully stable yet, but we're okay."

"We are?" Laura asked hopefully.

"You, who really had no reason to, have put your life on the line time and again for me," she kissed her softly. "How can I not forgive you for everything you've done when those whose duty it should have been did almost nothing in comparison?" She kissed her forehead and changed the subject as she could hear children approaching. "Why did you think now would be a good time to meet them?"

"You agreed."

"I did," she laughed. "But you didn't answer me."

"I figured a timed visit might be a good idea for the first meeting," Laura offered.

"Fair enough," she smiled and kissed her. "I still might not know everything about you, Laura Hollis, but I can't deny you know me very well."

"I should hope so," Laura laughed. "I've been studying for more than a decade."

For some reason Laura's joke irked her but she didn't have to contemplate it as they we're joined by two sleepy toddlers and a shy older boy.

"Help yourselves to pancakes and whatever else is on the table," Laura greeted. "We're craving something a little lighter so we're going to make," she looked at Carmilla and asked; "Omelettes?" Carmilla nodded but had an odd look on her face. "Why don't you join them at the table and I'll get them started."

"Thanks, Pup," Carmilla said, but it was lacking its usual warmth.

"Pup?" Thomas muttered and chuckled quietly.

"What?" Carmilla smiled.

"You call your girlfriend 'Pup?'" he asked shyly.

"Well see, the first time we met, we were sparring," Carmilla began as she took a seat at the table, "and she got really frustrated at one point." She looked at Laura and smiled. "Ever seen a pis..." she stammered, "angry," she corrected, "Pomeranian?" He shook his head. "Well try to imagine a little ball of fluff trying to be intimidating." He chuckled. "That's my girlfriend," she shrugged. "If you think that's funny, she calls me 'Kitten'," she joked and got another chuckle out of him. "You're Thomas, right?" He nodded. "Thanks for getting Mom's ring back to me," she said as she held her hand out to him and shook it when he finally offered it. "But no more spying on me when I'm at the cabin, got it?" She added a little sternly as she held onto his hand, letting it go when he nodded and blushed. "Besides, you don't need to anymore, okay?"

"Really?" he asked hopefully.

"I might have missed the first nine years of your life but I'd like to be a part of the rest of them," she smiled at her mother and then looked back at him. "If that's okay with you?" He nodded happily. She looked to her two youngest siblings. Rose was sitting on her mother's lap and Bobby on Jan's. "God," she sighed. "She looks just like me."

"I know," Carmen smiled. "She's not as stubborn as you were though."

"Still is," Laura joked from the kitchen.

"Shut it you!" Carmilla laughed.

The rest of the meal passed amicably enough. The two youngest didn't talk much but they, and their older brother, both hugged her before they left. For the first time in her life, Carmilla felt like a part of normal functional family. It was so nice that she almost felt sorry to see them go when Trish, their tattoo artist arrived.

Once they'd headed out they joined Trish in her makeshift tattoo shop.

"Hey," Carmilla said slowly, sounding impressed, "this is pretty cool."

"Thanks," Laura and Trish replied.

"We, um," Carmilla looked at Laura; "I never got to finish telling you my idea."

"Oh God, please don't tell me we're changing them again," Trish sighed.

"Yes, but it means less work for you today," Carmilla consoled. "Can I see my finished design?" Trish nodded and pulled it from her portfolio. "See the heart?" She asked Laura as she pointed to the heart on her phoenix's chest. Once Laura nodded she turned back to Trish. "We were thinking of moving Laura's tattoo to her bicep," she turned Laura so Trish could look at her new scar. "I was hoping, maybe you could tattoo the heart from my tattoo on Laura's bicep and then work her new tattoo around it?"

"You'd have to stand weird to line them up," Trish pointed out as she examined Laura's scar. "And that's going to need at least another month before I can tattoo over it," she tilted her head from side to side. "But that should work out well," she smiled and resumed getting her supplies together. "If I'm only doing yours today, and that heart won't take more than twenty minutes, I should be able to just about finish it. In a month you'll be ready for touch-ups and it'll give me plenty of time to rework Laura's design." She looked at Laura. "I noticed your girlfriend said, 'we decided'," she regarded her a moment. "Is this what you want?"

"It was her idea," Laura answered and smiled. "But she has very valid reasons and I like her idea, so yeah," she kissed Carmilla's temple. "It's what I want."

"Alright then," Trish smiled as she pulled out her stencils, "good thing I brought more than one copy," she joked.

"Will I be able to convince you to come to Vancouver for the next session?" Carmilla asked as Trish sprayed her arm and then shaved it.

"Since your girlfriend already asked?" Trish laughed. "That'd be a 'yes'," she shrugged. "I always wanted to visit Vancouver and there are a few tattoo shops I'd like to check out."

"Will you be okay on your own for a bit?" Laura asked as Trish applied the stencil.

"I suppose, why?"

"I want to call Perry," she supplied. "She knows just about everyone from our graduating class, if anyone knows where to find a forensic accountant and a couple of business majors, it's her." She ran her hand through Carmilla's hair. "You want to clean the business up enough to sell it?" Carmilla considered a moment and nodded. "Then let me get things in motion. No one will question you bringing people in to look at the books before you officially take over."

"Laura?" She waited for Laura to meet her eyes. "Thank you for everything." Laura blushed. "We might have to go to hell and back to get there, but I promise you, we will have our happy ending, got it?" Laura nodded. "Good, 'cause I'm more than determined than ever to see we make it there." She smiled and added; "Together."

"Together," Laura agreed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful and patient readers! Missed me? Sorry about the delay but I'm guessing you'll forgive me after getting a chapter a week for a little while and when you hear why this chapter has taken so long. Remember last summer when I said I got some bad news? Well, almost a year to the day, I did my first official shift for the job I didn't get last summer. Good news for my pile of debt. Not such great news for my writing since I'm working six nights a week. But never fear Creampuffs, I won't stop writing. I'll do my best to keep up a regular posting schedule but I'm aiming for at least once a month, twice if I'm lucky. We'll have to wait and see how badly this new schedule kicks my ass. The good news is, I have an actual two day weekend coming this weekend so with any luck it won't be another three weeks before I post again.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter, Creampuffs! If you did, please comment or leave kudos! They make my day.


	30. Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... I almost forgot to mention... Rose Namajunas, whose place on the season of The Ultimate Fighter Carmilla took, just won the Strawweight title in a complete upset win! Made the unbeaten champ tap to strikes, no less. Way to go Rose!

Carmilla passed the time while her tattoo was being done reading Laura's journal. Much of it had answered some of the questions she hadn't gotten around to asking yet. For example; why Laura thought it was safe to ride up to the cabin on her Ducati. While it seemed the only forethought she'd put into the decision was the allure of riding her new bike and clearing her head, her reasoning after the fact, was flawless. She rationalized that riding her bike may have, in fact, saved her life. If the driver didn't know his car was rigged to explode he may have been instructed to run Laura off the road and give her a scare. However, running her off the road on a motorcycle on the Sea to Sky Highway, was as good as a death sentence. She closed her eyes and remembered the hundred plus foot drop offs in more than a few areas. Perhaps the driver, knowing what would have happened, hesitated just long enough for them to stop him. The more she got to know the 'real' Laura, the more she acknowledged her ability to justify almost every action, in hindsight.

"One day that hindsight is going to get you killed," she thought and shook her head as she glanced at her girlfriend. Laura sat curled in a chair in the corner, the only sound coming from her an occasional sniff, or chuckle, as she read Carmilla's account of her time in the house. She checked out the progress of her tattoo and was impressed how far Trish had gotten before she returned her attention to Laura's journal.

Another hour in and she found herself laughing.

"What?" Laura asked, when Carmilla looked at her she found her with an eyebrow raised.

"Your five things at the start of every entry?" Carmilla replied. "You keep answering the questions at the back of mine." Laura flipped to the back of her journal and began reading, smiling as she did. "I started writing them down after I got back," she supplied.

"Want me to grab a pen and paper and answer them all?" Laura offered as she stood.

"You've already answered a good portion," she went to shrug but didn't given the women working with a needle in her arm. "Along with some I didn't know I had yet."

"I might be able to answer some of them more thoroughly though," Laura offered.

"Um, okay," Carmilla smiled. "Can you grab your laptop? I'd like to see your fight with Randa."

"Fine," Laura sighed.

"What?" Carmilla prodded. "From the little I know about it, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"It's not that," Laura confided. "Right now you think you know what I'm capable of when it comes to fighting." She shook her head. "Once you watch my fight you're going to know full well how wrong you were about my 'acting skills'." Carmilla frowned; there it was again, that irk. The same thing that had bothered her when Laura said she'd 'been studying her for more than a decade'. "I'll, uh, be right back," Laura stammered, unsure what to make of her girlfriend's frown.

So far, she'd taken everything reasonably well, considering. It helped, however, that when it came to Carmilla's parents' revelations, that she was clearly as in the dark as their daughter. She, like Carmilla, was angry at Bill. She chuckled; she'd always been angry at Bill, now she had even more reason.

She opened her laptop and quickly checked her email; there was already one from Perry with a list of suitable candidates. "Good ole Perry," she chuckled. Once the hyperactive redhead had found out what Laura was up to, she'd been more than happy to help in any way possible; from setting up both the main house and the pool house, to fully stocking everything. It'd been a chore, however, to convince her to leave on Thursday after she'd gotten hurt.

She shook her head as she replied to Perry's email. A quick scan proved nothing else was pressing so she found and pulled up the video of her fight with Randa. "Here goes nothing," she thought as she gathered a pen and notepad before returning to Carmilla.

Carmilla waited until Laura was once again engrossed in her journal before hitting play. Halfway through the first round she understood Dana's skepticism with her insistence that she hadn't seen Laura's fight. Midway through the second round she hit pause and looked at Laura; "I don't get it; I'm halfway through the second round and I've counted more than a half dozen times you could have finished it."

"There's more than that, actually," Laura admitted and went to stand behind her so she could watch with her. "There's about a half dozen each round," she corrected.

"Then why not finish it?"

"I didn't want to," Laura replied. "It was hard enough getting the one fight and I wasn't sure I'd be able to book another, so I wanted to make the most of it." She shrugged. "The way I figure it there are five major keys to winning; Striking," she counted off on her fingers, "grappling, cardio, heart and instinct." She smiled as the second round came to end and Carmilla again hit pause so she could give Laura her full attention. "Heart and instinct are things that can't be learned; either you have them or you don't. But the first three? Good grappling can compensate for not so great striking and vice versa but nothing makes up for good cardio."

"This is all very interesting but I'm not sure I see your point," Carmilla commented as she glanced at her tattoo.

"What would you say is the strongest part of your game?"

"My striking," Carmilla smiled, "and it's only getting better."

"For me, it's grappling," Laura confided. "I started studying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu after my mom died since I couldn't stand doing Krav Maga anymore." She smiled. "I finally earned my black belt a couple of years ago."

"Then why didn't you use it?"

"Because, like I said, I thought I only had one fight to show what I could do," Laura prompted.

"So you wanted to save your submission game for the show?" she guessed.

"Exactly," Laura smiled. "Also, I knew Randa is a wrestler and she had a size advantage; I knew I couldn't outmuscle her on the mat." When Carmilla returned her attention back to the video, Laura could feel the tension coming from her. "What's wrong?"

"All those times I talked 'fight logic'," she said, unable to hide the edge to her voice. "You already knew, didn't you?"

"Not really," Laura replied. "I haven't given much thought to the logic behind fighting. I was more focused on advancing both our careers far enough to get on the show." She watched her fight a moment. "How did you win your fights?"

"Can I tell you?"

"I don't see why not," Laura answered. "Besides being your coach and manager, I signed a UFC NDA."

"What about Trish?"

"She signed one to make sure anything she might hear in this room doesn't leave it," Laura provided with a smile at Trish.

"I can put my headphones on, if you like?" Trish offered.

"If you don't mind," Laura replied. "We, um, still have a lot to talk about and it would help if we could do so more freely."

"Sure," Trish smiled. "Would you mind grabbing them and my phone from my purse?"

Once Laura had Trish all set up she turned her attention back to Carmilla.

"So?"

"How much do you already know?"

"I only know that you won and that you were so impressive that Dana was considering having the finale in Vancouver way back on Monday," Laura supplied. "He, uh, was with me when I talked to you on the phone. We were up on the roof so I could have a smoke. Actually, I spotted Julian the first time we tried to go up there."

"My first fight was against Alex Chambers and I already told you how I won that one," she regarded her a moment. "Is that why you had me drilling submissions? So I could use them on the show?" Laura nodded. "You know, I realize now, that you taught me a lot, but I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't have learned more if you just dropped the pretense and taught me."

"That wasn't my focus," Laura admitted. "At first I just didn't want you to go to the cabin." She ran her hand through Carmilla's hair. "But you teaching me?" She smiled. "It kept you motivated." She smiled again. "And you did teach me."

"Right," Carmilla scoffed.

"You've taught me how to train more effectively," Laura supplied. "Up until I got hurt, I was in the best shape of my life." She winked. "All thanks to you." She hit play again. "So who'd you fight next?"

"Joanne Calderwood," she provided and smiled at Laura's look of surprise. "I wanted to try that fancy kick I saw you practising but Jojo wasn't giving me the room to do it. She tied me up against the fence so I tried that Judo hip toss you taught me."

"It worked?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "I don't know who was more surprised, her or me." She shook her head as she watched Laura get her hand raised. "The damage really added up, didn't it?" Laura shrugged. "Anyway, I got her down and started working on a..." she shook her head. "What did Gilbert call it?" She pondered aloud. "A kim something?"

"A Kimura?" Laura guessed.

"Yeah," Carmilla smiled, this time Laura's pride was clear. "She got saved by the bell. The second round went a lot like the first only I just went after her." She shrugged. "I think I got her with a couple of elbows, stunned her, dragged her down again and got the Kimura."

"That's impressive," Laura replied with a big smile. "Jojo's no joke." She shook her head. "No wonder Dana is so impressed with you."

"He is?" she asked, her disbelief clear.

"He said, 'it's like there's this moment where she just knows how to win and then does it', or something like that," Laura provided. "I take it you're fighting Carla?"

"You think I can beat her?"

"Unless her striking has improved since the last time I saw her fight," Laura replied thoughtfully. "I don't see why not." Carmilla raised an eyebrow. "From what I know of Carla you have a reach, striking and conditioning advantage. But," she closed her laptop and put it aside, "she has experience, and even though you'll have a reach advantage I'm not sure it will translate to a strength advantage. She's short, yes, but stocky and strong." She shrugged. "Don't let her tie you up and yeah, I don't see why you wouldn't win."

"She's seen what I can really do with my striking though," Carmilla countered. "She'll be ready for it."

"Preparing for it and dealing with it are two entirely different things," Laura argued. "See, you have the two things no one can train for; heart and instinct. Many fighters have heart, but few have the natural instinct that you do. You pick up on and react to holes in your opponent's game before you even realize what it was you were reacting to. That's what makes you so hard to fight, you adapt as you go."

"Because I never go in with a real game plan," Carmilla confided. "Sure, I have an idea of what might work or things I want to try, but really?"

"You're flying by the seat of your pants?" Laura offered.

"Gee, thanks," Carmilla laughed.

"That's what it looks like," Laura soothed. "But to those who know you, know your unique style of no style at all, we know it's how you win."

Carmilla turned to her tattoo and saw that Trish was almost finished.

"Do you think I could beat you?" She asked as she turned back to her. "You know if we didn't know each other and only had video of each other's fights?"

"I think," Laura replied slowly as she considered her answer; "if we'd fought a year ago, you'd have won easily." She moved her hand to the back of Carmilla's neck and rubbed it with her thumb, grateful that, despite what she was saying, Carmilla was allowing her touch. "Back then you were fighting mostly on anger and instinct, which made you unpredictable."

"So you think, now that I don't, you could beat me?"

"I think it would be a closer fight," Laura deflected. "You're still unpredictable, but your more considered approach allows for more chance of a counterattack."

"You know," Carmilla said as she took Laura's free hand; "Once this is over, and we have some time to recuperate, maybe we should find out?"

"Like, for real?" Laura asked in shock. "Go into a cage and try to beat each other up?"

"Full on, no holds barred."

"I don't know," Laura sighed. "I don't think I could bring myself to really hurt you."

"Who says I'd give you the chance?" Carmilla countered lightly.

"I'm done," Trish announced. "Can you get my headphones?" Laura nodded and pulled them from her ears gently.

"I thought you said it would take six hours?" Carmilla commented as she watched Trish wash the blood and extra ink from her arm.

"I always overestimate how long it'll take so I don't have to rush," Trish admitted.

"And so your clients can be amazed when you're done so quickly?" Carmilla questioned cynically.

"A little," Trish chuckled. "But you're also a great canvass," she shrugged. "It's easy to be fast when the person doesn't move at all."

"Probably because I didn't feel a good portion of it," Carmilla confided. "I still have a bit of nerve damage a few inches around the scar itself and I, uh, have a pretty high pain tolerance."

"Given the scars on your back, I'm not surprised," Trish replied sadly. "Go on," she prodded and motioned to the mirror; "Go take a look."

Carmilla walked over to the mirror, Laura joining her at her side. It had turned out better than she expected but was surprised by a blank heart shaped spot. While it wasn't what she'd had planned when she asked Trish to put the heart from her Phoenix on Laura's arm, it was, nonetheless, perfect.

"It's amazing, Trish," she smiled and pulled her tattoo artist into a hug. "Thank you."

"Did you mean to have the heart left blank?" Laura asked.

"No," she admitted and shrugged. "It's still perfect."

"I'm sorry," Trish rushed out. "It'll only take me a few minutes to finish it."

"No, really, it's fine." Carmilla assured her. "It isn't what I meant, but like I said, it's perfect."

"Are you sure? It wouldn't…"

"Trish, stop, really, it's okay," Carmilla interjected. "Until Laura is able to finish her tattoo it seems only appropriate that she carry my heart on her arm," she said as she kissed Laura's cheek.

"Well, if you're sure."

"I am."

"Alright," Trish finally conceded. "Laura? If you want to apply that special salve you were telling me about and get her bandaged up, I should be set up for your tattoo by the time you come back," she suggested as she handed Laura a couple rolls of gauze.

"Sure thing," Laura replied and led Carmilla out and over to the kitchen.

"'Special salve?" Carmilla questioned as Laura took a small white plastic container from the fridge.

"It's a variant of the same stuff we'll be taking tonight only the parasites eat but don't, you know…"

"Poop?" Carmilla supplied with a chuckle.

"Exactly," Laura chuckled. "The cold keeps them inert until applied to the skin," she explained as she found a pair of latex gloves in a drawer and slipped them on. "This is going to be cold, and I'm thinking uncomfortable, while I rub it into, what is essentially, an open wound." She smiled. "But, if it works the way it's supposed to, and with us taking a real dose of the stuff tonight, it should be almost completely healed by tomorrow morning."

"Is it supposed to tingle like that?"

"I think it means it's working," Laura shrugged. "So, how far into my journal did you get?"

"You have a dog?"

"Yeah," Laura chuckled. "She's a little over five, almost all black Chihuahua, named Lucy." She smiled. "Want to see a video?" Carmilla nodded. "Grab my phone from my pocket."

"Why didn't you tell me about your dog?"

"I told you I was living in a university dorm," Laura supplied. "How would I explain having a dog?"

"So where has she been all this time?" Carmilla asked as she opened the video on Laura's phone to find a little black dog being groomed by their kitten Luna.

"She was staying with Laf and Perry until they came down here," she replied as she slipped off her gloves and started wrapping her arm. "Then I brought her to the apartment when they came down here. She loves Luna and absolutely adores Dark; goes nuts every time she hears his voice."

"What about Trill?"

"It's funny; Luna is best friends with both but Trill and Lucy don't interact much except for the occasional sneak attack swat," she nodded at her phone. "I tried to get at least one video a week of the kittens so you wouldn't miss them growing up." She chuckled. "There's a great one of Luna sneak attacking Trill."

"Where's my phone?"

"I don't remember seeing it since you used it on Friday, why?"

"I want to call Dark, maybe Brody too," Carmilla explained. "I really should have called them by now," she added guiltily.

"I'm sure they'll understand," Laura answered as she added tape to her arm to secure the bandage. "You won't be too hard on Dark?"

"Why would I be hard on him?"

"Because he was helping me."

"And I forgive him for the same reason I forgive you; he did it because he cares about me," she shrugged. "Kind of hard to be angry with him, though I'm not thrilled about him going through my things and finding those letters."

"He, uh…" Laura sighed. "Brody was looking for something in the gym office and saw the envelope addressed to him but it was still empty so he called Dark and told him about the one he found with his name on it so Dark convinced him to open it."

"I was wondering about that, since Dark wasn't planning on being back for at least another week."

Laura was saved explaining further when Trish interrupted to let her know she was ready to do her tattoo. "Want to make us a snack?" Carmilla nodded. "We still have a couple of hours before we have to leave for the house, any idea what you'd like to do?"

"I was thinking of looking over some of Jan's evidence," Carmilla replied as she and Laura returned to the makeshift tattoo parlour so she could grab Laura's laptop.

"I, um, don't think that's a great idea," Laura answered carefully.

"Okay," Carmilla replied slowly. "Are you saying that as my girlfriend, my shrink or my bodyguard?"

"I'm  _a_  shrink, not  _your_  shrink," she clarified. "And while I might be tasked with protecting you, I'm not a 'Bodyguard'." She smiled. "But as your girlfriend who happens to also be a shrink, given that you're already going to be talking about what happened later tonight, I feel that, watching any evidence or reading about it, wouldn't be good for your mental state." She reached for Carmilla's hand with her free one as Trish was already prepping her arm for her tattoo. "I can tell you're starting to get it back together and I don't want you to risk it."

"You're probably right," Carmilla sighed with a squeeze of Laura's hand. "Thank you for watching out for me," she added as she kissed the top of her head.

"You're my girlfriend," Laura replied with a smile. "It'd be my job whether I was a cop or not."

"And here I thought I was protecting you," she teased as she left and then made her way outside to her MG. "What are you doing?" she questioned her father as she found him with a bucket of soapy water and seemed to be cleaning her MG.

"Getting it ready for your road trip," he supplied.

"Are you the reason I finally got it back and why it's, basically, a little tank now?" He nodded. "Why?"

"I found it about five years ago," he explained as he dropped the sponge into the bucket and then turned to lean on the car. "I finished restoring it and was working on a way to get it back to you when Frank told me that Laura had called him for your car dealer's number."

"She ordered me a new Jeep before I had the chance, didn't she?" He nodded. "She do that a lot? Got things started before I had the chance?"

"You'd have to ask her," he shrugged. "But I think so." He shook his head. "After what I found in your Jeep, I thought, maybe, getting your MG back might cheer you up a little."

"It did," she sighed. "Pity we can't take it on the road trip."

"What? Why not?"

"Are the two Jeeps down here similarly upgraded?" He nodded. "Then, while I understand we're acting as bait to draw out Deanna, if something does happen, a Jeep is far easier to replace than my MG." She chuckled as she retrieved her phone, Laura's cigarettes and lighter from the glove compartment. "Even if it is barely my MG anymore."

"But Laura went through so much trouble to get it down here," he pointed out.

"I know," she lit a cigarette and noticed the odd look on her father's face. "No," she admonished. "You don't get to judge my bad habits."

"Fair enough," he answered sadly.

"Look," she sighed. "I don't hate you."

"You don't?"

"No," she admitted. "I hate your actions and your cowardice, but I don't hate you." She shook her head and walked away to pace. "What do you think would have been the worst thing that would've happened if you'd refused to marry Deanna?"

"I'd be in jail or dead."

"See?" She chuckled. "To me that doesn't sound so bad."

"That's harsh," he answered ruefully.

"Well," she started as she turned to face him; "what do you think would've happened to me and Will?" She questioned. "At worst we'd have ended up in the system, which, given what we went through, doesn't sound so bad. At best, Mark Hollis and his wife might have taken us in." She shrugged. "Worst thing about that is that Laura and I might not have what we have now because we'd have grown up as sisters." She shrugged again. "Still doesn't sound so bad."

"Do you think you'll ever forgive me?" he asked when the silence stretched.

"You choose your fate over your children's," she replied quietly. "I don't know." She shook her head and went to hug him. "As angry at you as I am, I'm happy you're alive."

Bill hesitated a moment before returning her hug and then pushed her away slightly so he could take her face in his hands. "I am so damned proud of you and the woman you've become." He kissed her forehead. "Maybe, in time, you'll let me make it up to you?"

"That's a pretty tall order," she joked but then grew serious as she added; "You can start by giving your new kids the life that was denied to your old kids."

"Well, this is unexpected," Laura commented as she joined them and startled them apart.

"It's a start," Carmilla stated as she wiped a tear from her eye. "Why don't the lot of you come over for breakfast tomorrow morning before we go our separate ways?"

"I'd like that," he smiled and gave her another quick hug before taking his leave.

"You okay?" Laura asked as she and Carmilla made their way back inside.

"How about we make a new deal?" Carmilla started as she made her way over to the kitchen. "You stop asking me that and I'll let you know if I'm not."

"I'm sorry," Laura sighed. "I guess you're getting tired of hearing that."

"It's not just that," Carmilla dismissed. "Every time someone asks I have to evaluate where I am and it makes me realize that I still have a ways to go before I'll be completely okay again." She closed the fridge and pulled Laura into her arms. "But I am getting there," she assured her and kissed her tenderly. "I don't think we should take the MG on our trip." She said as she returned her attention to making them a snack. "And before you argue; I appreciate the trouble it took to get it down here and I understand your motives but I think we'd be safer in one of the Jeeps and I'd rather not risk my MG when I only just got it back." She glanced at Laura, saw her looking disappointed and drew her back her into her arms. "I also think you should do most, if not all, of the driving."

"Really?"

"Does that really come as a surprise?" Carmilla laughed. "I seem to remember Steven saying he was trained in 'evasive driving'." She shrugged. "Since you're both cops, I figure you are too."

"I am, but you're a really good driver and it's not like I can't tell you what to do if…"

"And the few seconds it would take you to give me directions might cost us our lives," Carmilla interjected somberly. "While it was definitely a shock to find out the woman I fell in love with is a cop, now that I know, I'd be stupid to not defer to your skills." She kissed her, this time letting it deepen for a moment before pulling away. "This little road trip of yours might be meant to lure Deanna out, doesn't mean we have to make it too easy for her, right?" Laura nodded. "Besides," she smiled; "I'm only about halfway through your journal and I still want to look through Jan's evidence."

"So, you, um, haven't gotten to the part where I've known Trish for more than a year?" Laura offered as Trish joined them. "Bob mentioned last summer that you were looking for a tattoo artist that specializes in scar cover up."

"Is that why he suggested getting the plate in my arm out last summer?" Carmilla questioned.

"No," she shook her head. "Well, sort of. You could have had it taken it out years ago and should have as soon as you started training seriously." She sighed. "Yes the metal plate was meant to help the break heal properly but once it has, the screws leave a weak spot in your bone, given that you're a fighter, the chances of it fracturing were pretty high."

"Did you want to see my most recent version of your back tattoo?" Trish offered as she took a sketch pad from her bag.

"Most recent?"

"I've modified it slightly since Laura sent me the picture of your back covered in paint," she explained as she flipped to the right page.

"It's amazing," Carmilla grinned. "We'll get started on it after the finale?"

"Definitely," Trish replied. "Is your guy ready to take me home?"

"I'll text him," Laura answered. Noticing Carmilla's look of question she supplied; "This house is under an alias and no one knows we're here." She went and gave Trish a quick hug. "I know it's a nuisance but you understand why, right?"

"I do," Trish affirmed. "See you guys in about a month?"

"Give or take," Carmilla replied. "We'll be in touch."

Carmilla had returned to making them a snack while they talked to Trish and watched as Laura walked her out.

"What was with the vagueness?" Laura asked when she returned.

"You can't get your tattoo finished until this is over," Carmilla replied as she made their sandwiches. "We're going to have a hard enough time explaining these," she indicated their first tattoo. "Maybe we modify the story we tell your bosses," she continued thoughtfully when Laura joined her with everything to make them a salad. "Tell them, that while it's true that we do have feelings for each other, we've agreed to wait until Deanna is dealt with to do anything about them."

"And we got the first tattoos why?"

"To remind us," Carmilla turned to her; "that whatever happens between now and Deanna's end, you and me?" She smiled. "That's what we're fighting for." She kissed her cheek. "We're fighting for the chance to be free and together." She wiped her hands on a towel and then turned and took Laura's arms in hers. "Laura Eileen Hollis," she smiled as Laura blushed at the use of her middle name; "I love you." She kissed her softly. "More today than I did yesterday and probably more tomorrow than I do right now." She leaned their foreheads together. " _That,_ " she leaned back and met her eyes; " _that_ is what I'm fighting for."

* * *

 

Laura squeezed Carmilla's hand as they pulled up to the Ultimate Fighter house; "You've got this," she assured her quietly.

"I do," she smiled and turned to her; "as long as you're by my side to anchor me."

"I'm not going anywhere," Laura replied and kissed her softly. "Now," she said firmly as she pushed the Jeep's driver's seat forward so she and Carmilla could get out; "let's get this over with so we can go home and forget about all of it for a few hours."

"Sounds like the best plan I've heard all day," Carmilla chuckled as she gave Laura's behind a playful smack as she climbed out ahead of her. "I, uh, didn't expect this many cars," Carmilla commented as she got out of the Jeep.

"Neither did I," Laura agreed. "But then, they are planning to film you talking about the fight and…" she counted the cars quickly. "If it's only one person per car, that's about right for a film crew."

"I suppose," Carmilla replied skeptically as she noticed Dana exit the house and start walking towards them. "Good evening, Mr. White," Carmilla greeted formerly.

"No need for that 'Mr. White' bullshit," he joked. "If anyone here has earned the right to use my first name, it's the two of you." He smiled. "What do you say we get the hard part over with first?" he suggested as he led them inside. "We're set up in the studio," he explained as they made their way through the house. "We've talked a lot since Friday, about how to approach this." He opened the door to the studio. "Given what happened, with Laura riding in on her Ethan, maybe we shouldn't hide the fact that she's by your side for this."

"You want to increase the interest in my fight with Randa," Laura speculated.

"No need for that," he laughed as he directed them to the waiting makeup artists. "Your girlfriend's antics will have already done that."

"Antics?" Laura questioned as they took their seats.

"I found out on Wednesday that you'd fought Randa, won and that she got your spot when you broke your arm," Carmilla supplied. "I might have, um, taunted her with it during a toast I gave that night and then again during the weigh-ins." She turned to Dana and asked; "Which version did you decide to go with?"

"Given what happened Friday?" She nodded. "The first." He smiled. "Going to make for one hell of a finale." He regarded them a moment. "Can I get you a drink? Maybe Patron over ice or a Corona?"

"You've been watching the footage," Carmilla teased.

"It's a compelling season," he confided. "How much of that was acting?"

"Some," she admitted and turned to Laura; "Two of each?" Laura nodded.

"I'll be right back," Dana said before leaving.

"See?" Laura said lightly. "I told you he was impressed."

"What makes you say that?"

"The president of the UFC is getting us drinks," she joked. "How many fighters do you think can say that?"

"Or he's seen how tough my first confessional was," Carmilla countered.

"Maybe," Laura sighed as they were directed to a set of three chairs set up in front of the cameras and a large screen television to watch the fight.

"Almost doesn't seem fair," Carmilla teased as the technicians affixed their microphones; "you getting to see our fight months before anyone else."

"But I've already fought her," Laura pointed out. "It's only been a year," she shrugged. "Not everyone can advance at "Carmilla speed"."

"Thanks," Carmilla laughed; "I needed that giggle."

"What?" Laura chuckled. "It's true; in the two weeks between your fights with Danny and Rose," she shook her head. "You weren't the same fighter each time." She smiled. "That's what makes you so hard to beat; they can prepare for what they know, but by the time they fight you, what they think they know is already irrelevant."

"She's not wrong," Dana commented as he motioned for a table to be placed between them for their drinks and then took the third chair once he put their drinks down. "We're going to do this informally," he informed them. "I'll ask questions, you answer them. Sound good?"

"I want the remote," Carmilla said as she nodded. "There were," she shook her head; "significant moments, turning points, in the fight, that I'd like to point out." Dana studied her a moment and then handed her the remote. "I think I should start with where my head was at before the fight?"

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"The sooner we start the sooner it's over," Carmilla joked.

Carmilla took a deep breath and began her last Ultimate Fighter performance, because, in her mind, that is what it was; a performance as she certainly didn't feel as confident as she sounded despite Laura's firm grip on her hand. She began by telling them about how she was feeling before the fight and then began the task of watching herself; the determination on her face, it was like watching a stranger. It wasn't that she didn't recognize herself but that it was the only way she could stand watching herself. By distancing herself from the woman on the screen she could tell her tale without it suffocating her. Without it pulling her into the despair and fear she'd felt when the flashbacks took over. Because that is what she feared most; losing herself to those flashbacks. Losing herself to a time when all she felt was hopelessness.

She paused the video for the first time at the end of the first round and turned to Laura; "So?" She took a sip of her drink. "What do think?"

"I think you lost that first round on purpose," Laura replied and cocked her head; "The question is; why?"

"Because to win I needed to do to Randa what Randa had done to the rest of her opponents," she smiled; "Use her overconfidence against her." She looked at Dana. "But first I had to build that confidence by making her think I was playing mind games because I was worried."

"And then letting her win the first round," he added, sounding impressed.

"And tiring her out in the process," Carmilla commented. "Randa is, if nothing else, scrappy. I knew there was little chance of knocking her out if she was completely fresh going into the second round." She started the video again but stopped it about midway through the round when she noticed Laura snickering beside her. "What?"

"No wonder Dana thinks you'd seen my fight," she offered and turned to Dana. "She only saw it today," she clarified.

Carmilla chuckled despite her racing heart as she restarted the video; they were coming to the part where it all started to fall apart pausing it again when Randa broke her nose; "That's when it started," she said quietly, her voice steady despite being barely above a whisper. "I saw," she shook her head and chuckled; "I saw the first time Deanna broke my nose."

"Why is that funny?" Dana prodded.

"Because I wish I could remember the string of expletives I let out that would have made even you blush," she joked as she hit play again but pausing almost immediately when she saw herself reset her nose; "From then on, every time I closed my eyes," she closed her eyes; "I saw flashes from that day; finding the hotel room, the duplicate of my room, her torture room…" she took a deep breath, started the video and watched herself come apart at the seams. "I was barely holding it together," she admitted as the video showed her in her corner talking to Gilbert. "My heart was racing…"

"You  _were_  in a fight," Dana interrupted.

"Ever had a panic attack?" she questioned tersely. He shook his head. "It's different," she informed him. "It feels different." She shook her head as she tried to make him understand. "It's more of fluttering feeling than a thumping," she offered. "Anyway," she sighed and turned her attention back to the video; "I had no clue what was going on or what I was seeing." She took a deep breath. "All I knew is that I had to end it and end it fast."

"So you had no plan when you went running out to the middle of the cage?" Dana questioned.

"None," she confided. "I could barely think straight let alone plan my next move." She shrugged, hit play and then watched as she leapt into the air and knocked Randa out with a flying knee.

"She ducked," Laura commented and then continued when Carmilla turned to her. "As you ran in, she ducked like she was going to go for a takedown." She squeezed her hand. "That's what I meant about reacting to things before realizing what you're reacting to."

"So I relied on 'instinct' after all," she commented dryly and looked back to the screen. "Right there, in those few seconds between knocking her out and the ref stopping me…" she took a shaky breath. "You think that fear on my face is because of the visions I was seeing, but it wasn't." She closed her eyes. "I saw the night I ran away. The night I held Deanna's life in my hands and let someone talk me out of it. Talked me out of ending it right there." She opened her eyes and focused on the screen. "When I came back," she shook her head. "I wasn't going to let anyone stop me from making the same mistake again."

"What do you mean?" Dana asked.

"I mean," she met his eyes, "that I wanted to hurt her."

"Isn't that the point?" He joked, clearly missing hers. "You  _were_  in a professional fight."

"There's a difference between hurting someone in the course of a fight," Laura explained for her; "and wanting to do them actual harm."

"That's what scared me," Carmilla continued quietly. "In that moment I saw all the ways I'd thought of ending Deanna's life and…" she shook her head. "I scared myself." She took another deep and unsteady breath. "And then the flashes started. Every time I blinked I saw some new, horrifying image. Things I couldn't remember but were far too real, far too clear, to be anything but the truth."

"So that's what you meant," Dana said thoughtfully; "when you said you'd forfeit before letting it happen again." Carmilla nodded. "Now that you've had a couple of days to process what happened, do you think it will?"

"No," Carmilla looked at Laura. "Between learning the truth and knowing what my symptoms mean…" she looked back at Dana. "I'm not okay, not yet, but I'm getting there." She looked at the television. "Fighting, professional fighting, was never my goal. I started because, for the first time in my life, I was good at something. Really really good." She turned to Laura. "When I fight, I'm in control." She smiled. "And that's not something I can say about most of my life." She turned to Dana. "Most of my life has been controlled by my stepmother." She looked directly at the camera. "That ends now."

Dana turned to the cameraman and motioned for him to cut.

"You're sure it won't happen again?" he pressed.

"I'm not sure it matters if it does," Laura answered for her. "For one thing, that's the last time she won't have me in her corner." Carmilla smiled. "For another," she sighed and turned to him. "If you didn't know anything was wrong, you wouldn't have known anything was wrong."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," he commented. "If anything, it worries me more."

"My point is; she can handle it," she turned back to a doubtful looking Carmilla. "I've never seen you as focused as you were in the second round." She smiled. "You were amazing because you were so focused on holding it together, you fought on instinct only now it's backed with techniques you've learned in the last few months." She reached for her hand and squeezed it. "This, what you remembered on Friday? It is the worst of it, I promise." She looked back to Dana. "We have four months to deal with it, by the time the finale rolls around, not only will Carmilla be fine, but the main source of her stress, Deanna, will be dealt with."

Dana studied them both for a moment, nodded and stood.

"I'll, uh, give you a few minutes?" Laura and Carmilla shared a glance and then nodded. "Everyone is out back when you're ready." He smiled as he placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "She's right, it was an incredible fight." He squeezed it again. "Carla should be worried."

"As long as it's for the right reasons," Carmilla sighed. "We'll be out soon."

"Dana," Laura stalled him with a hand on his arm, "care to tell us why there's so many cars out front?"

"I, uh," he stammered as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Word got out, like I said, some of the crew, the crew who was coming to film this, told everyone else and…"

"You told them?" Laura questioned tersely.

"No," he replied with a glance at Carmilla. "I was going to tell them tomorrow, after you leave, like you asked."

"How many aren't here?"

"Just a handful," he replied.

"I'll want their names," she informed him.

"Why?"

"Well," she laced her fingers with Carmilla's, "when a few people don't show up, when most have, I call that suspicious." She sighed and turned to her confused looking girlfriend. "We'll be out in a few minutes."

"I'll email you those names," he offered and handed her a list. "So you can invite who you want to Vancouver."

"You'll be announcing the matchups?" Carmilla asked as she took the list from Laura and looked it over. "Dana?" She said as he went to leave. "Thank you," she said as she hugged him. "For everything." She looked up at him. "The friends I made here might have helped me hold it together but it wouldn't have made a difference if you hadn't let me talk to Laura as many times as I did."

"No thanks needed, kid," he smiled. "I'll see you out back?"

Once she'd nodded and he left Carmilla downed the rest of her Patron and then, as she sipped on her Corona, turned to find Laura studying her.

"I'm fine," she assured her and sighed. "Okay, not 'fine', but close to it." She sighed. "Want to tell me what the frilly hell you two were talking about?"

"Your dad," Laura rubbed her face. "When I told him what you were doing for your cast mates, well, he decided to do the same for the coaches and crew."

"How much?"

"He gave everyone twenty-five except for your coaches who got fifty," Laura supplied. "But I asked Dana to wait to tell them until after we left."

"So, the question is; are they here because they were hoping they'd get similar gifts I gave to everyone else?"

"Or maybe," Laura smiled, "you had as much of an effect on all of them as they had on you." She took Carmilla in her arms. "Maybe they care about you and want to see for themselves that you're okay."

"Maybe," Carmilla sighed and buried her face into Laura's neck.

"I'm so proud of you," Laura praised and kissed her cheek.

"For what?" Carmilla scoffed as she pushed her away. "Not killing her?"

"The strength of will it took to stop yourself," Laura clarified. "Despite what was going on in your head, you held it together long enough to get through it. That's…" she shook her head. "You amaze me every day, Carm." She stroked her cheek. "Everything you've been through?" She sighed. "You're stronger than you know." She pulled her back into her arms. "And you are definitely stronger than Deanna."

"I don't feel all that strong at the moment," Carmilla admitted and sighed. "How am I supposed to face them?" She nodded towards the door. "When they've seen me at my weakest?"

"That wasn't weakness," Laura corrected. "Holding it together despite how close you were to falling apart?" She kissed her forehead. "That's a strength most people could only ever hope to possess." She kissed her softly. "And I suspect that's why they're here." She smiled. "I'm sure you projected an air of calm and confidence the whole time you were here." She ran her thumb across Carmilla's eyebrow. "They saw you break and then pull it together enough to get through the rest of filming."

"Only because you were there," Carmilla pointed out. "Made it easier to fake it," she shrugged. "C'mon, let's get this over with."

She took Laura by the hand and led her to the back of the house and out onto the patio. Waiting for them, with three large wrapped somethings, were Tecia, Bec, Felice and Beth, the last three holding the gifts while Tecia held a microphone.

"Hey," Tecia tapped the microphone to make sure it was working. "So, um, I volunteered to speak for everyone." She waved at the crowd behind her. "You said you gave us gifts because we made it easier for you to be here." She smiled. "And like I told you a few days ago; you did the same for some of us. Not just with your monetary gifts, which, I think I can speak for everyone, will make a positive impact on our lives, but you made life better here." She stepped forward and took Carmilla's hand. "You stood up for me when no one else would." She shrugged. "Thank you." Carmilla pulled her into a brief hug. "Well, uh," Tecia stammered, the hug apparently, was unexpected; "we wanted to do something to thank you."

Bec stepped forward when Tecia motioned to her and handed Carmilla her gift. Carmilla smiled as she ripped away the paper to find a team jersey signed by her team and coaches. The other two gifts turned out to be similar; a signed team Pettis jersey and then an Ultimate Fighter t-shirt signed by the crew.

Carmilla took the microphone from Carla, took a deep breath and then looked out over the crowd; "I, uh, for once, don't know what to say," she admitted to their laughter. "What happened Friday," she began, knowing she had their attention when they all grew quiet, "was…" she shook her head. "It was the stress of being in the house, away from the only support system I know and the added stress of everything that's been going on the last two weeks." She paused as she considered how much to tell them. "Some of you know the real reason I came here," she smiled in Bec and Angela's direction; "and I'm guessing, over the weekend, most of you found out what's been going on the last two weeks." She saw several people nod. "The truth is…" she took another deep breath, this time though it wasn't as steady. "My stepmother mentally abused me for as long as I can remember and then started physically abusing me from the day of my father's funeral." She paused again as several people turned to the person closest to them to whisper. "When Randa broke my nose on Friday I remembered something even worse than all that. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw another image." She studied them a moment. "I'm guessing some of you already know what I'm talking about as they announced her arrest on Friday." Again, several people nodded. "I'm not looking for sympathy, or pity," she sighed. "My life, till this point…" she shook her head. "There's no point crying over the past when there's nothing I can do to change it." She smiled as several people smiled and nodded. "All I can do now is change how it affects the rest of my life." She smiled. "While I might fight for money inside the cage, it's the fight I'm waging outside of it that brought me here in the first place." She looked around. "I told you I expected to spend most of my time here alone," she shrugged. "It's what I do when I'm anxious and uncomfortable. But," she smiled at Tecia, Bec and Angela; "I made friends here. Real friends." She shook her head. "And friends are something that have been hard to come by in my life. Even if I can't call all of you friends, know that, if you ever need a place to train, my gym is always open to you." She cocked her head. "After the finale, anyway," she qualified to their laughter.

"Speaking of the finale," Dana interjected and reached for the microphone, "I'm guessing you'd all like to know who you're fighting." The fighters cheered in agreement. "Alright, here we go," he began as he took his list from his pocket. "In no particular order, at this time, we have, of course, Carmilla Karnstein versus Carla Esparza for the inaugural Strawweight title." He paused as the crowd clapped and cheered. "Next up, and almost as anticipated, we have Laura Hollis versus Randa Markos." He smiled in Laura's direction as everyone again clapped and cheered. "Provided both are healthy enough to fight," he said as he winked at her.

As he ran through the rest of the matchups Laura and Carmilla decided who they wanted to invite to Vancouver. Some choices were obvious, like Bec and Angela M., others, like Emily and Angela H., were more of a conundrum as they were both members of Carmilla's team and part of her little group that had become known as the Skrapettes. Once Dana was done with the announcements Carmilla called Felice and Bec over.

"Hey," she greeted Felice first; "think you can grab Aisling and Joanne for me and meet me in a few minutes?"

"Um, sure," Felice replied and wandered off.

"Bec?" she prodded to get Bec's attention; "Can you round up both Angelas, and Emily for me while we grab some food?" Once Bec had nodded she and Laura headed over to food laden table to fill a couple of plates and then when to talk to the two small groups of people waiting to talk to them starting with her teammates first.

"Hey guys," she greeted and pulled them all into hug. "So, as you probably guessed, I'd like to invite all of you up to Vancouver to train but I have a couple of questions for you first." She looked to Angela Hill and Emily. "I didn't expect any of our team to fight each other, let alone any of the Skrapettes, but it's up to you. You're both welcome to come if you don't mind training together." She smiled as the two exchanged a glance. "Think it over and get back to me?" They nodded. "Okay," she took a deep breath; "If it's okay with you guys, and if they want to, there's three Pettis members I'd like to invite; Felice, Aisling and Joanne, as well as Tecia," she looked at Angela Magana. "I know she's your opponent and I won't invite her unless it's okay with you, but I don't know," she glanced at Tecia. "I feel like she got the short end of the stick and I'd like to make the offer if it's okay with all you guys."

"Why do you want to invite any Pettis team members at all?" Angela Hill questioned.

"Well, Joanne and Aisling aren't fighting any of us and I thought, given that they're coming from overseas, they'd appreciate the chance to train in the same time zone they'll be fighting in." She looked over at Felice who was chatting with Joanne and Aisling. "As for Felice?" She chuckled. "Frankly she kinda scares the crap out of me but I think I could learn a lot from her."

"I can't speak for everyone but the only one I have a problem with is…" Bec started.

"Tecia," Carmilla provided to her nod. "Look, I get it, I do, but if you all want to train within our former teams that shouldn't be too hard. We've got two sets of apartments; one over the gym itself, and the other is just next door. The gym isn't as big as the Ultimate Fighter gym, but its close." She smiled. "Look, they might not even want to come but is it okay with all of you if I extend the invitation?" They all nodded. "Great! You can all email at Carm, with a C, at . Karmma with a K and two M's, if anything comes up or you have any questions." She laced her free hand with Laura's. "We're going on a bit of a road trip for the next couple of weeks, but thanks to miracle of technology, I should be able to get back to within the day." She looked over to the three Pettis team members. "We should go talk to them if we want to get out of here anytime soon."

After talking to Felice, Joanne and Aisling they found themselves being cornered by Randa.

"Hey, what's up?" Carmilla greeted.

"Just wanted to thank you," Randa replied, her voice still a little nasally from her broken nose.

"What for?" Carmilla laughed.

"The money, the note," Randa smiled. "It really wasn't personal for you, was it?"

"Only insofar as I really wanted to win," Carmilla shrugged. "I mean, yeah, finding out Laura had already beat you," she smiled, "maybe I was a little more motivated than usual, but no, it was never personal."

"For the record," Laura piped up; "not telling Carm about our fight had nothing to do with you." Randa raised an eyebrow. "You'll figure it out when you watch the show but Carm knew very little about my past before she left. I wasn't protecting you, or you know, trying to do the 'honourable thing' by not giving her an unfair advantage, I just hadn't told her yet."

"So," Randa eyed Laura. "You gonna fight me on the finale or are you going to back out again?"

"Yeah, cause I didn't break my arm," Laura replied tersely. "You think I'm afraid of you?" When Randa shrugged, Laura got closer to her and whispered just loud enough for Carmilla and Randa to hear; "Need I remind you that I've already kicked your ass once?" Randa shook her head. "Good." She stated smugly but didn't back off. "Cause I accidently killed a six foot tall hockey player who drugged and tried to rape me." Randa visibly paled. "Not much scares me." She backed off slightly and smiled though there was no humor behind it. "Let alone you." She smiled and took Carmilla's hand. "That being said; I won't be playing any mind games before the fight," she shrugged. "Frankly, I have bigger fish to fry and don't have time to be worrying about trash talk." She turned to Carmilla. "You about ready to blow this pop stand?"

"More than," Carmilla answered. "But first, Randa?" She waited for Randa to meet her eyes. "I wasn't playing mind games to throw you off your game."

"You weren't?"

"Nope," Carmilla smiled. "I knew I could beat you." She shrugged. "I just wanted to have an exciting fight. So I tried to build your confidence so I could make it look like you won the first round and then have a comeback win." She shook her head. "The closest you ever came to winning that fight was when the flashbacks started; if I hadn't been able to control them long enough to finish the fight, you'd have won be default." She laughed. "Hell, you'd have by default if I didn't make it back to the cage in time."

* * *

 

Carmilla woke first the next morning, which in and of itself wasn't unusual but the fact that sun had barely risen was a bit of a surprise. Laura had assured her, when they'd taken LaFontaine's miracle cure around ten the night before, that they'd likely not wake until at least mid-morning.

Yet there she was, wide awake. She checked the time over Laura's shoulder and saw that it was going on seven. She rolled to her back and then sighed in relief when rubbing her face didn't hurt. Carmilla turned back to her sleeping girlfriend, smiling when she realised they hadn't moved once from the position they'd been in when they had fallen asleep. Turned out Laura was right about two things; they fell asleep fast and hard.

She kissed Laura's shoulder and then carefully pulled her arm from under head. When the blonde didn't stir she began to wonder just how badly Laura was still hurt if she was this fast asleep. Laura had explained, after they'd lost themselves in each other for a few hours, that LaFontaine's bug caused someone to sleep because it's when the body naturally does most of its healing anyway. Following that logic, the longer someone slept, the more healing they needed.

Carmilla shook her head and then made a mad dash for Laura's phone as it vibrated across the bedside table. She turned it over, saw that Rick was calling and made her way to the bathroom having grabbed her robe along the way. Since she hadn't answered the call in time she decided to use the facilities before calling him back.

After washing her hands she realized she now was far too awake to lie in bed so decided to get dressed and then headed to the kitchen before returning Rick's call.

"I didn't do it," Rick said as soon as he answered.

"Well good morning to you," Carmilla joked. "And what didn't you do?"

"Where's Laura?"

"Still asleep," she supplied. "Rick, what is it? What's wrong?" She asked in quick succession; she'd never heard him sounding so anxious.

"Someone leaked the footage from last Monday," he supplied. "Carm? It's bad. Worse than we thought."

"What are you talking about?" she questioned as she went to open Laura's laptop.

"Nancy," he stalled. "She didn't just get blown up, she was eviscerated."

"I don't understand," Carmilla replied as she tried to find the footage online.

"We didn't have clear footage of what happened and we thought the shards that hit Laura came from the bomb she was wearing…"

"...but they came from the van and through her to hit Laura," Carmilla finished for him as she watched her ex-girlfriend explode in fine red mist and many large chunks. "She was right."

"Excuse me?"

"Laura, she was right," Carmilla said quietly as she watched the video again, the anger that had been so close to the surface since Friday, threatening to overwhelm her. "Nancy saved her life and had anyone but Laura confronted her," she continued as she surveyed the damaged left by the bombs, "they'd all be dead." She shook her head and closed the laptop. "Any idea who filmed this?"

"We think Julie or Julian but…"

"...since they're dead it's not like we can question them," she again finished his thought for him. "I'd be more curious as to why the footage was released."

"Isn't it obvious?" he scoffed. "She wants to scare you into coming straight home."

"Well," she sighed, "that's not happening."

"You need to be careful," he urged. "This is a statement; you're not safe."

"We've never been safe," she countered hotly. "None of us." She stood and started to pace. "I won't let fear dictate my life any longer." She took a deep breath. "I won't let  _her_  dictate my life," she spat and then tried to rein in her anger. "Laura will call you later," she stated and ended the call before he could protest.

She fought, with all her might, the temptation to return to bed, take Laura in her arms and never let her go again. Knowing she was almost killed four times in the last six weeks was bad enough, seeing it though, was another thing entirely.

"No," she thought with an audible sigh; "Laura needs her sleep."

Carmilla shook her head and went to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee before seeking out a pad of paper to leave Laura a note; she desperately needed to clear her head and blow off some steam but she didn't want Laura to worry when she woke and found her gone. She found the pad Laura had used to answer the questions at the back of her journal and sat at the dining room table to read them.

Few of Laura's answers surprised her; either because she'd already answered them or because, given what she knew about her girlfriend now, her answers made complete sense. When she was done she tore the pages from the pad, crumpled them into a ball and then walked over to the kitchen sink to light it on fire and drop it into the sink to watch it burn. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate Laura taking the time to answer her questions but that it was time to move on.

Sure, Carmilla could continue to feel miffed that Laura had so easily managed to deceive and manipulate her, but what was the point? Everything Laura had done; every lie, every secret and even every manipulation, had benefitted Carmilla. If anything, she was more annoyed with herself for letting Laura play her as easily as she had, but given the fact that, if Laura hadn't, it was very likely she wouldn't have been around long enough to be bothered, it was difficult to remain too angry.

The truth was, Carmilla had trusted her, had let Laura into her life, because she was so despondent at the time, that she overlooked all the obvious red flags and simply accepted Laura, and her story, at face value. Also, given that they barely spent any time apart once they started dating, she hadn't had the time to ponder the inconsistencies in Laura's story until she was in the Ultimate Fighter house and had nothing but time to think everything over.

Carmilla turned on the water and rinsed the sink of the ashes before making herself a mostly Bailey's coffee and returned to the dining room table to write Laura's note.

"Hey Pup," she wrote. "Need to blow off some steam and clear my head. Come find me in the garage when you wake up and after you call Rick. Love you, C."

She returned to the bedroom and a sleeping Laura who, by the looks of it, hadn't moved since she got up. She resisted the urge to climb back into bed with her and hold her until her she woke but instead she leaned down, moved some hair from Laura's face, gently kissed her forehead and then stood to watch her sleep for a moment.

"Don't you dare get yourself killed because of me," she said quietly. She took Laura's phone from her pocket, set an alarm and then shut it off before putting it and her note on the bedside table. She sighed, kissed her again, gathered her running shoes and headed out to the garage once she'd put them on along with a sweatshirt and grabbed her phone and smokes.

The garage was outfitted with the basics; a couple of treadmills, heavy bag, speed bag, a weight bench, free weights and an area set up with mats for grappling. More importantly it was air conditioned like the rest of the house. She turned on some music and then got on one of treadmills, slipped off her sweatshirt and started at a slow walk.

As Carmilla upped the speed to a slow jog she tried to put everything she'd learned since Friday into perspective. She hadn't quite finished reading Laura's journal but she had noticed a common thread; Laura was terrified of Carmilla leaving when she found out the truth. She wondered what she'd ever done or said in their time together that would lead Laura to believe that she'd walk away so easily.

"But maybe," she thought; "it has more to do with all the time she spent watching me before we met."

If Laura had been watching her all this time she'd seen Carmilla cut people out of her life entirely the second she found out their intentions were less than honourable. She sighed and upped the speed so she was now running at a comfortable pace. As much as she wished Laura had been honest with her from the beginning she had a feeling Laura had followed the wisest path whether she knew it or not. If Laura had come to her, confessed how long she'd been helping her, and what her plan was going forward, would Carmilla have even heard it? Perhaps Laura was right to worm her way into her life the way she had and gained her trust in the process. Because the truth was, Carmilla didn't just love her, she was head over heels and nothing anyone could say or do could change that, let alone Laura.

She moved onto another line of thought as she again upped the speed; "Why did she target the Karnstein's?" she pondered. All this time she'd assumed Deanna's motives were simply monetary and she and Will were nothing more than obstacles to getting all that money. Now that she'd heard her mother's story she had to wonder if her father was targeted for a more personal reason. Hell, Deanna had gone to work for her grandfather long before her father had even met her mother; was her father just another pawn in their twisted revenge ploy to ruin her mother's life? If that was the case, though, why didn't it end with her mother's death? Maybe Deanna decided her mother's guilt was more than one person could pay for. Maybe, like Carmilla, Deanna felt death was too easy an out for her mother. She sighed; maybe her views on that topic were changing.

Any further speculation was cut short as the garage door opened to reveal a very awake but still bleary-eyed Laura at the door. She hit the treadmill's stop button and went to take Laura in her arms.

"Ew, you're all sweaty," Laura complained playfully as she tried to keep her at arm's length.

"You saw the video?" Laura sombered and nodded. "Yeah, so still going to hold you like I'm never going to let you go whether you like it or not," she informed her and pulled her into her arms. "You okay?"

"I already saw a video but it was focused on me, not Nancy," Laura confided.

"You didn't answer my question," Carmilla pointed out.

"I'm fine," she sighed. "I guess…" she shook her head as she pushed Carmilla away and went to sit against the wall on the mats. "I'm not…" she shook her head. "I'm not bragging, far from it, but when you've faced death as many times as I have, you become a little desensitized to it."

"That's not exactly comforting," Carmilla commented with an edge as she slipped her sweatshirt back on before she went to sit next to Laura. "You got lucky."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nancy saved you," she stated. "She blocked the pieces that hit you in the back," she explained, her tone softening as she saw understanding dawning on Laura's face. "Even with the bulletproof vest, if a piece hit you in the back with the same force that the one that hit your leg…"

"I'd be dead," Laura finished for her.

"I hate that you keep risking your life for mine," Carmilla said quietly. "Seeing how close she came to succeeding…" she turned to Laura. "I'm surprised Rick told me," she commented wryly.

"He's was keeping you in the dark at my dad's request," Laura supplied. "I told him he could stop as soon as I got to talk to you." She took Carmilla's hand. "I meant what I said, Carm, no more secrets."

"Glad to hear it," she replied and kissed her cheek. "How come you're up anyway?" She took her phone from her pocket and checked the time. "I wasn't expecting you up for at least another hour."

"That's oddly specific," Laura teased. "Sheriff Denman called," she shook her head and sighed. "I have to attend a press conference at one." She took out her phone and a few swipes of the screen later handed it to Carmilla. "That's my statement, I wrote it while I was sitting outside the TUF house."

Carmilla read it and then turned off Laura's phone.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll explain in a minute," Carmilla smiled. "It's good, your statement, but you can't use it."

"Why not?"

"Because," she chuckled to Laura's surprise, "she knows we won't let this make us go home but she's hoping to figure out how much we know." She smiled as she could see Laura was getting what she was getting at. "Let her vultures ask their questions and we just might find a weakness. Find out what she's worried that we know."

"You sure you don't want to be a cop?" Laura teased.

"With my history?" she scoffed. "I doubt I'd make it past a background check."

"You might have a point," Laura conceded. "Anyway, when my cell kept going straight to voicemail he called the landline." She chuckled. "I was little confused when your mom woke me," she shook her head. "For a few seconds I thought she was you."

"Hmmm…" Carmilla smiled. "That gives me an idea." She opened her phone's contacts, dialed Laura's cell, put it on speaker and smiled when Laura recognized her own voice greeting. She held up her finger to belay her questions as the phone beeped. "Hey Pup," she smiled. "I just wanted to leave you this message so you can listen to it any time you need reminding how I feel about you." Laura smiled. "I love you," she started fiercely. "More today than I did yesterday and probably more tomorrow than I do right now," she continued, echoing her previous day's sentiments. "But Pup? I'm sorry, I can't forgive you." Laura's face fell and tears filled her eyes. "All the lies? All the secrets? All the manipulations and not to mention the outright stalking?" She smiled which clearly confused Laura. "I can't forgive you for any of it, because," she shrugged, "well, because as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to be forgiven for." She reached out with her free hand and wiped a tear from Laura's cheek. "I understand why you did what you did and I'm even self-aware enough to accept that it was probably the only way your plan would work." Laura smiled and sniffed. "But if you still feel like you need to be forgiven," Laura nodded. "Then I forgive you, for all of it. I love you Laura and there's nothing you, or anyone else, can do to change that. Got it?" Laura nodded. "Good, take care Pup, I love you."

Laura pulled her into a salty kiss the second she ended the call and then broke it to whisper; "Thank you."

"I get it Laura, I do," Carmilla said as she leaned back and took Laura's face in her hands. "You had every right to think I'd react badly. I mean hell, I'm sure you've seen me do it enough in the past, right?" Laura nodded. "But you proved yourself to me before you told me the truth." She smiled. "And maybe love really is blind after all." She kissed her forehead. "I trusted you because I so desperately needed to trust someone. After what El did…"

"You needed someone to make you feel worthy," Laura supplied. "All your life you've had this little Deanna sounding voice telling you you aren't." She studied her a moment. "I've had little difficulty getting my friends, and yours, to help you because you deserve so much more than this life has given you so far."

"I have to wonder, though, if I'm not as much a product of your meddling as I am Deanna's manipulations," she commented thoughtfully.

"I didn't choose your path for you," Laura offered. "I just helped you along it." She shrugged. "Like when you took cooking classes I started looking into suitable restaurant spots, licensing," she smiled at Carmilla's look of awe. "Bob mentioned you talked about a…"

"Straight friendly lesbian pub," Carmilla laughed. "I remember."

Laura turned her phone back on to check the time and smiled when she noticed the voicemail notification. "We should head in; breakfast was almost ready when I left."

"They can wait," Carmilla replied tersely. "I've waited more than two decades to have a real family; they can wait a few more minutes while we talk about the elephant in the room."

"Danny?" Laura guessed.

"While Danny is something we need to talk about," she chuckled. "I'd hardly call her an elephant." She leaned back against the wall and tapped her chin with a finger. "A giraffe, maybe, but definitely not an elephant." She turned to Laura. "It can wait until we're on firmer ground."

"But…" Laura sighed sadly.

"We're fine," she assured her. "The ground doesn't feel all that firm mostly because I still don't feel all that stable." She shook her head. "Between that and everything else?" She smiled. "All I know is that we're going to be okay." She kissed Laura softly. "And all I'm going to say about Danny is that you don't have to worry about me leaving you for anyone, let alone Danny."

"Why 'let alone Danny'?"

"Because being with Danny would be the biggest betrayal of all," she explained. "We both care about her, and she and I would both be hurting you if that happened." She smiled. "You're stuck with me Pup." She leaned their foreheads together. "For better. For worse. Forever." She leaned back to meet Laura's eyes. "Deal?"

"Deal," Laura agreed and kissed her tenderly. "So if not Danny, then what?" she asked when they parted.

"Deanna," Carmilla sighed and turned so she was sitting facing Laura. "Remember what I said? About the only three ways this ends?"

"Your death," Laura supplied. "Which, by the way, totally not an option."

"Even if it were, it wouldn't change anything," Carmilla replied ruefully. "I mean my mom died, and they just kept going." She shook her head. "I'm starting to think they targeted my dad's family for other reasons than money."

"Any ideas?"

"None," Carmilla sighed. "I have a feeling when we figure that out we might just have the advantage." She rubbed her face, ever so grateful it no longer hurt to do so. "Incarceration doesn't seem to making any difference."

"But that's because there's another one out there," Laura pointed out. "They could still find a way to run."

"Which means we'd live the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders," Carmilla shook her head. "Any time anything went wrong, we'd be wondering if they were responsible." She sighed. "The only way this ends, the only way I'll ever be free, is if they're dead."

"Do you already have a plan?" Laura asked neutrally.

"Wait," Carmilla blurted. "You're okay with this?"

"We've been dancing around it since we met," Laura supplied. "I get it, they need to die. Pushing up daisies, no fog on the mirror, dead." She sighed. "Does the cop in me wish there was another way?" She shrugged. "Maybe." She shook her head. "But I've come to accept, the only way to stop her, stop them, is to end them." She took a deep breath. "Permanently."

"And that's your only objection?" Carmilla questioned skeptically.

"Yeah," Laura nodded. "Why?"

"I've seen how bad you feel about Derrick and Will," she provided.

"That's different," Laura sighed. "Derrick," she shook her head. "Yes, he did reprehensible things, talked others into doing the same," she ran her hands through her hair. "But he was young and I took away his chance to ever redeem himself."

"Perhaps," Carmilla laced her fingers with Laura's. "But I doubt the same can be said for Will." She regarded her a moment. "You feel bad cause he had my gun?"

"A little," she admitted. "But you were right too; he was at least twice my size and could have overpowered me." She shook her head. "He was very sick." She met Carmilla's eyes. "He'd have probably spent the rest of his life in custody." She sniffed. "I took away his chance to get better but…" she shook her head. "I wasn't thinking about that at the time, I just wanted to stop the damage."

"And that's why Deanna needs to die," Carmilla offered.

"So, do you? Have a plan, I mean?"

"More ideas than a plan," Carmilla supplied. "I think," she smiled. "I think what we need to do is do to Deanna what I did to Randa." She considered her words. "First we build her confidence," she smiled. "Which brings me to the idea you gave me."

"That wasn't the voicemail?"

"No," she kissed Laura's cheek. "I've been planning to do that since I got out of the house," she supplied with a shake of her head. "I'm assuming you weren't planning on me attending the press conference?" Laura shook her head. "I say we use my resemblance to my mother to our advantage." Laura cocked her head in interest. "Put everyone else back into whatever disguise they wore down here but send my mom back in my clothes. Steven and Betty can take them to the airport while you go to conference and I'll get us packed and ready to go before you get back."

"We're already mostly packed," Laura interjected.

"Anyway," Carmilla continued with a smile, "are they meeting the helicopter at the airport?" Laura nodded. "Good, if they're not seen in Vegas maybe someone will spot them in Vancouver."

"So maybe Deanna will think you've come back and gone straight to the cabin?" Carmilla nodded. "That's good but it won't take long before someone notices you on our road trip."

"That's the plan," Carmilla smiled. "But not today," she squeezed her hand. "No, today you come back here after the conference and the two of us travel to the Grand Canyon in the trailer. Maybe, Deanna will think you stayed here and the Xanders have just decided to take a little road trip on their own. Might give us a few days head start." She paused a moment. "Though, that might be easier to do if we skip the camping trip."

"But…"

"I know you were looking forward to it," Carmilla soothed.

"It's not just that," Laura explained. "I've been planning this since the first time we went to the cabin." Laura took both her hands. "You always seem so…" she sighed as she searched for right word. "Serene when you're there. Happy and at peace in the outdoors, both there and at Buntzen," she smiled. "Before the accident, anyway."

"I don't know if that'll still be true at the cabin," Carmilla replied sadly. "Part of the reason I was always so happy there is because the few happy childhood memories I have were there." She shrugged. "Now that I know that's where my 'family' has been hiding all this time?" She sighed. "Besides, even if Deanna doesn't know we're camping, I still don't feel like spending time with a bunch of strangers." At Laura's bemusement she pointed out; "It's Labour Day weekend?"

"Won't be a problem," Laura smiled. "Like I said, I've been planning this for months."

"What did you do?" Carmilla chuckled.

"Rented out about twenty spots," Laura supplied to their laughter. "The Xanders will be on the perimeter and we'll be by the river."

"So as long as we stay in the trailer…"

"It'll be at least a day before anyone catches on," Laura completed her sentence.

"You know what I think?" She said fondly. "I think we got this far working towards the same goal separately," she smiled and kissed Laura's forehead. "Imagine what we'll accomplish working together."

"Together," Laura agreed as Carmilla pulled her into her arms.

"All this time I've been wondering if that light at the end of the tunnel is really the end or a train," Laura chuckled. "Now I'm starting to think I was wrong all along." Laura met her eyes. "It's both." Carmilla smiled. "We're on the train at the end of the tunnel and they're tied to the tracks." Laura laughed. "We're almost there, Laura," she continued passionately. "But the only way we get there is together. No more lies, secrets or manipulations, got it?" Laura nodded. "One last thing; we do this, we kill them…" she searched her eyes. "I don't want anyone else involved." Laura agreed. "Now come back here," she pulled Laura back into her arms.

"You know a part of the fun of a road trip is watching the scenery," Laura commented.

"Somehow, spending the afternoon cuddled in bed with you?" Laura looked up at her. "There's no contest." She kissed the top of Laura's head. "Besides, we have a lot to talk about and a lot of plans to make." She smiled. "No relationship is all sunshine," Carmilla said pensively. "I suppose ours is no exception and we do live in Vancouver, after all," she joked.

"But we can share an umbrella," Laura suggested.

"That and everything else," Carmilla agreed. "I only know three things for sure; we're going to win our fights in four months along with the fight I've been fighting my whole life." She turned Laura's face up and kissed her softly. "The last is that I love you. Everything else?" She smiled. "It's just details."

Their path was uncertain and likely dangerous. But if they succeeded, they would finally be free. They would finally stop Deanna's damage, not just for themselves but for every person whose life she'd darkened. That was a worthy goal. That was worth fighting for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful and ever patient readers. As I've mentioned before, I've been working six nights a week since August. The one night I do get off is spent sleeping and getting errands done. But that isn't the main reason this took so long; it's the last chapter of a work I'm very proud of and it is with relief and a little sadness, that I mark this part of heroines' journey complete. But mostly I wanted to get it just right.
> 
> Right about now I'm guessing you're wondering about Part Three and when to expect it. First; I've decided to title it, "Sometimes Beaten, Never Broken." A little while ago I got a message on Facebook from a Creampuff who was so moved by my story they got those very words as their first tattoo. A picture of their tattoo now hangs, framed, on my wall by the door to my apartment. Every day it inspires me, not to just to keep writing, but to keep going. Also, given what I have planned for Hollstein in Part Three, "Sometimes Beaten, Never Broken," might be all to apt a title. As for when you can expect this epic journey to continue? I'm still in the planning stages and hoping to get this first chapter up before Christmas.
> 
> Lastly, thank you, thank each and everyone one of you. Between the Creampuff with the new tattoo, comments I've received, and even messages from people who've tracked me down on Facebook; you, all of you, are the reason I keep writing. Self-doubt is always a factor for a writer and all of you remind that, not only is what I'm writing is worth reading, but that it has touched so many people on a profound level. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
> 
> Until next time Creampuffs!


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